THE
BRICK MAGAZINE
ANN ARBOR DECEMBER 2017
PLUS! CELEBRATING YOU!
HEALTH BENEFITS OF APPRECIATING YOUR BODY THE
-ANDBE APART OF SOMETHING BIGGER
Cornman Farms
SARAH WHITSETT
&
Owner CEO of The Brick Magazine
It’s going to be a new year, let’s create your new look
Ryan Brooks Cut and Color Specialist
470 Briarwood Circle | Ann Arbor, MI | 734.214.3200 | trichosalonandspa.com
A private practice integrating Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine to help you look better and feel better Specializing in “Proactive Rejuvenation�
Dr. Lisa Profera www.projuvu.com 1-844-PROJUVU drprofera@gmail.com
contact 320 Miller Ave, Suite 185 Ann Arbor, MI 48103 734.761.8753 http://www.tranquilbeing.com
your pause starts here 734.761.8753 www.TranquilBeing.com
PUBLISHER’S Notes
I
am thrilled to be introducing the first edition of The Brick Magazine. Metro Ann Arbor’s first and only women’s magazine leading the way in career, home, fashion, health, fitness, and dining. You must be wondering, why is it called The Brick? I named it The Brick because I firmly believe that each of us contributes one little brick to the foundation of our community. Our lives, our work, and our families are our contribution. This magazine is here to highlight the women in Ann Arbor and to give us all a platform to enrich each other’s lives and to foster a thriving, diverse community. We here at The Brick look forward to serving our community for years to come.
Sarah Whitsett, Publisher thebrickmagazine.com
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THE
BRICK MAGAZINE
DECEMBER 2017
Publisher • Sarah Whitsett
Art Director • Jennifer Knutson Web Master • Andy Savoy
Assistant to the publisher • Jillian Fraioli <<
CONTENTS 10
Contributors >>
Meshell Baker
Kristen Domingue
Lisa Profera
Ryan Brooks
Angela Harrison
Maria Rea
Alycia Huston
Maria Sylvester
Nadine Burns
Three Parties, One Dress A Holiday Miracle
14
Sharon Lawler
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The Woman Inspired to Create The Brick Magazine
Contact Us >>
The Brick Magazine, LLC 734.272.1371 Email: office@thebrickmagazine.com Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com
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Advertising Inquires >> email office@thebrickmagazine.com or call 734.272.1371
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Find Us ... >>
Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have THE BRICK MAGAZINE delivered directly to your home.
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The Brick Magazine >>
THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC
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17 Celebrating You 18 Spirituality
Intentional or Fluff?
20 How to Do your “Do” Holiday Edition
22 The Benefits of Patience 24 How to Choose a Financial Planner
26 The Health Benefits of
Appreciating Your Body
28 Be a Part of Something Bigger Cornman Farms
32 Life Does Get Easier,
When You Get Better
LeaDHERship Adventures, LLC.
Consulting for high-powered and accomplished entrepreneurs and corporate executes. Helping to build a business, make key decisions for your company, lead from â&#x20AC;&#x153;within and of â&#x20AC;? your people, and helping you to take pride in your accomplishments.
Alycia@alyciahuston.com 619.490.8058
THREE PARTIES, ONE DRESS
A Holiday Miracle by Angela Harrison
T
he holidays are heare, and so are the party invitations. Work parties, family parties, New Year’s Eve parties. Joy. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of the best seasons for family, friends and most of all, fashion, but who has time to find a new outfit for every 10 | The Brick Magazine
soirée? And really, who wants to? Luckily, your closet already holds the key to creating multiple looks without having to buy dress, after dress. This season’s trends make it easy to transform a single dress into endless (and effortless) looks for all of your holiday social events. If you have a LBD (little black dress), you’re already on your way to becoming a master of disguise.
THE DRESS: Now, the dress is crucial in making all of your looks work. This dress should make you feel good and look good. Keep it simple- solid black (or navy, colorful dresses are memorable, the dress shouldn’t be a focal point, it’s fashion camouflage), preferably a ¾ or long sleeve. Scoop neck, V-neck (plunge neck if you’re feeling fancy), and turtleneck necklines are all great. The dress can be whatever fit you love; shift, sheath, fit and flare, etc. As for length, keep it at the knee or just below the knee, anything above the knee for coldweather can look unseasonal or causal. Choose a dressier fabric like crêpe or knit, best to stay away from thin, casual fabrics; you want it to be able to pass for a cocktail dress.
THE WORK PARTY: The goal here is stepping up your everyday look while staying you. There’s no worse feeling than a “Wow, I didn’t even recognize her!” moment; as if you show up to work every day in a Hefty bag. Thanks, Janice. The work party is an opportunity to turn up the glam a little on your personal style. Starting with our LBD neutral canvas, a simple way to begin the transformation is adding a black, opaque tight, or sheer black tights (I know, the 80s, but trust me, they’re back and will look great). This will immediately take the entire look up a level in sophistication; a velvety black tight adds the perfect amount of richness. Next up, accessories. The jewelry that is out right now is fantastic. Elegant pieces such as long gold tassel necklaces or a colorful collar piece are incredible options. If you’re on the traditional side, try a long strand of opera pearls or layer a few short strands together; classic, yet updated. Be bold in your choice but also make it feel like you. If you choose to wear earrings or bracelets, make sure they don’t take away from our necklace moment; keep them simple. Simple is the key for shoes too; black heels or a pointed ankle boot will finish off this look perfectly. Grab a metallic small bag or clutch, and you’re ready to own the office.
December 2017 | 11
THE FRIENDS & FAMILY PARTY: This is the party you can let your hair down at, and in that spirit, we’re keeping it comfy. Friends and family are the ones who won’t judge when we show up in our standard holiday uniform of black-pants-and-tunic, but we can do better than that this year. The best part about coldweather fashion is the layering: chunky knit cardigans, capes, coats, and my favorite, vests. Vests are the perfect way to add style to a look without making it feel heavy or cluttered. With so many styles to choose from, it’s hard to go wrong here. Anything knit with a waterfall front or print would look fab with the LBD. To dress it up, try a knee-length gray duster, a waist-long suede vest, or a fun textured faux-fur. If you want to add shape, try a belted wrap vest. Tie the vest at the waist for an exaggerated cinched look. What I love about vests is their versatility. You can throw them on over a blouse and dark jeans for dinner, over a long sleeved shirt and yoga pants to run errands, and even use them as a blazer substitute for work; just a great piece for any wardrobe. Because our LBD now has a layering piece, keep necklaces simple and long. The vest creates a nice moment for long pendants, earrings or bracelets; a set of mixed bangles would be fun or a statement cocktail ring. If you have a favorite pair of tall boots, try them with this look. Tights are optional, do whatever makes you most comfortable. When we feel good, we look good, and feeling good with friends and family is what the holidays are all about.
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THE NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY: Bring. It. On. Most people run out of steam (and party outfits) by this point in the season and end up buying some sequined top they’ll never wear again. Not you, by now you’re a style pro. The NYE party is our last hoorah of the winter social circuit; time to put that LBD to work for one final affair. Anything goes when it comes to accessorizing for this party, feel free to bling; consider this our Elizabeth Taylor moment and pull out the big stuff. Whether it’s a pair of glittering chandelier earrings, layers of long sparkling necklaces, or stacked brilliant bangles- it all works. Our LBD creates the perfect backdrop for show-stopping statement pieces. Nothing will look like too much and now is the perfect time to add some trend colors like golden olive greens, plummy ports, or warm auburn rust shades. Add a waist-length tuxedo jacket to mix it up. The tuxedo jacket is the fancier sister of the blazer; always guaranteed to add style and texture with her satin shawl collar and a single button. After the clock strikes midnight and we return to real life, you can pair the tux jacket with a polka dot button-down shirt and jeans or wear with a striped T-shirt and black cropped pants. When it comes to legs, try a fun patterned tight like small dots or black tartan plaid. Add an unexpected twist to the look, play up your shoes with a berry-colored, velvet block heel, or a pair of colorful brocade ankle boots. These statement shoes always look great with jeans and casual outfits. Finish off your final look of 2017 with a sequined or metallic bag. Wear that lip color you’ve always felt was too bold; ring in the new year feeling great and with style!
Creating new looks doesn’t always mean buying 30 new pieces. It’s important to have a good wardrobe of staples and basics; these are the foundation for any style. Add in seasonal trends by layering pieces and accessories, which is what we’ve done with the LBD. Throughout all of these style tips for the holidays, remember to keep your look feeling like you, but don’t be afraid to try something different. Break away from the safe choices this season and explore fashion on your terms. The dress has been chosen, and the accessories have been laid out, time to exhale and cocktail! Angie Harrison received a BS degree in fashion merchandising from Western Michigan University, and after merchandising for a large retailer, went on to start Angela Harrison Style; a personal, print, and film wardrobe styling service. Her experience has led her to build a loyal client list of people from all backgrounds and professions. Angie has also worked in wardrobe on local and national tv commercials and has started a visual merchandising branch of AHStyle, providing styling and merchandising expertise to Michigan retailers. December 2017 | 13
THE WOMAN INSPIRED TO CREATE THE
BRICK MAGAZINE
by Maria Rea
W
who likes a lot of action so this worked well for me. But after a few years, I began to ask myself if this was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life, working weekends, and night shifts. So that was when I decided I needed to do something else,” Sarah shares.
hen you think about Ann Arbor MI, you think, home of the University of Michigan, football, arts and culture, international cuisine, outdoor recreation, festivals, and events. It’s not hard to see why Sarah Whitsett made this community her home and why her desire to create a magazine highlighting all of the local happenings, restaurants and community leaders are at the forefront of her mission. Growing up in Cincinnati Ohio as the oldest of 4 children, Sarah learned at a young Sarah age the importance of being Whitsett responsible and driven. Graduating from high school in a class of only 52, Sarah moved away One Trauma center, in the intensive from home and went on to college at care unit and worked for a couple of IU (Indiana University). Sarah stayed years before deciding to go back to only a year and a half before coming get her Master’s degree in Acute Care home to get her nursing degree from Nursing. the University of Cincinnati. After graduation, she landed a job at the University of Cincinnati, a Level 14 | The Brick Magazine
“I went into Acute Care Nursing because I liked that energy and intensity. I’ve always been someone
Shortly after finishing, Sarah and her boyfriend moved to Portland Oregon where she would later marry. While in Portland, Sarah worked in a family practice clinic urgent care. She ensured that every aspect of her patient’s needs was taken care of at the highest level possible. A couple of years later, Sarah and her husband moved to Ann Arbor MI, where both were hired at the University of Michigan Hospital.
It was in 2007 that Sarah had their first son, Carlos, followed two years later by twin boys, Ravi and Joseph.
It was then that Sarah took the opportunity to stay at home with her boys and to rediscover her life and the choices she had made. Did she want to go back to Nursing? Being a very intuitive person and listening to her inner voice, the answer that she found was a resounding NO! “Part of the influence in making my decision to not return to nursing was the realization that my husband, who was a surgeon, would be unable to come home to help should I have to be called into work. So that led me to think about my options. How could I create a career that was flexible and also one that I enjoyed?” Sarah, being superb in communication skills, attention to detail and marketing strategies decided to start a business focusing on marketing strategies for small businesses. That was something she could enjoy and it created flexibility for her family. As life often happens, in 2013, Sarah found herself divorced, in a new home and raising her boys as a single parent. Always being December 2017 | 15
women to live the life they desire, to help the local community and to highlight all that Ann Arbor has to offer.
Sarah’s Family
resilient, determined and driven, Sarah continued with her successful marketing business and added realtor to her resume as well. “One day I was talking to a woman at a real estate company, and she told me they were looking for a listing agent, and she said, ‘hey you’d be great at it, would you be interested?’ I said, sure why not, I’ve always loved houses and have written a home and garden blog. It came at a good time for me having gone through a divorce; I was looking for something more, so I agreed to try it for six months. The job ended up working for me, and it was great!” Being a true visionary, Sarah has now decided to add another new business to her repertoire. Sarah is the Founder and CEO of “The Brick Magazine,” a new women’s publication in the Ann Arbor Area, designed to attract women of all ages. This communitydriven magazine is to empower
16 | The Brick Magazine
“I want to highlight the people who are doing the actual work around us, the ones making a real difference. A lot of times, in many women’s publications, you see glossy, pretty images of women but you never get to hear the real truth behind the photos, who are they really. In “The Brick” magazine, we celebrate actual people and behind the scenes of what makes our community work. So what I am offering is an opportunity and a platform to highlight people doing amazing things in our community. We have so many engineers, physicians, business owners and grassroots movements in our community who don’t get the recognition they deserve. Using this platform to acknowledge all the wonderful work going on in the community will then inspire people to become more and to reach higher. Ann Arbor is a unique and wonderful community, and one of my favorite places to live. It has so much to offer on so many levels and “The Brick Magazine” is a way to showcase all that we in the community are doing in a fun and inspiring way.
MY BEST ADVICE “Life is an adventure and I would be super bummed
out to not be able to take the risk, so the best advice I can give you is to let you know that things always work out just as they are supposed to, and even though sometimes it’s not exactly how you would have envisioned it, often times it is better. Many times you have to let go and let God, which I get can be scary sometimes, but really for me, that’s the part I love the most. One thing I’ve learned is that you can do anything you want in your life. Listen to your intuition, your gut feeling and if you hear that little voice in your head, don’t ignore it, as it’s trying to tell you something. Start to pay attention to what it is you really want. Life holds many gifts. Figure out if the life you want matches with who you are being in this moment. Sometimes all it takes is a small shift to make a big change. Life is about taking risks and knowing that you are worth it. So find what inspires you and then do that every single day. If you would like to be a part of this amazing magazine reaching over 100,000 women each month, please contact me at sarah@thebrickmagazine.com
Celebrating You
I
by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC
am so excited to have been invited to be the author of this column on Relationships in The Brick Magazine. The truth is there is POWER in our relationships! Our ability to connect, create, and contribute in all areas of our lives is dependent upon the quality of relationships we have, and the ways we cultivate and nurture them.
of your inner and outer experience, the shadow parts as well as the delicious aspects. As women, we are typically masters at perceptively recognizing what others in our inner circles are going through yet we so often neglect giving ourselves similar recognition. Begin this holiday season with a ferocious commitment to register your experiences at all times.
Through my monthly articles, I’ll discuss all types of relationships and the nuances of each, hoping to bring an intriguing, unique tidbit or two into to your awareness for reflection. So here we go!
Once you get used to registering your experience, you are primed for the second key to celebrating yourself, practicing self-compassion! Why not infuse the way you think about yourself with ever-present warmth and care? Compassion means sympathetic concern for the suffering of beings. You are one of those beings, and giving yourself the same empathy you would another, in any and all situations, is an essential way to celebrate yourself. Imagine the yummy feeling of being loved by someone who is important to you. Under this spell, you experience gratitude, appreciation, warmth, comfort, and a general feeling of well-being. Now imagine turning all those heartfelt emotions on yourself as you cherish and love the person you are. Imagine wrapping yourself in a sweet embrace. Soften into yourself. Wow! Magical, yes? And remember, the power is in the relationship you have with YOU!
With the holiday season upon us, a time of celebration and renewal, why not start it off by celebrating YOU! Honoring the relationship you have with yourself, in 3 fundamental ways, I guarantee this will set a festive and profoundly powerful tone for the rest of this special season, and into the new year ahead. The first key to celebrating yourself is being committed to registering your experience by slowing down and noting your emotions, body sensations, thoughts, needs, and desires. These elements of “selfbuzz” are within us all the time, yet how often do you blast right past this treasure chest of personal information? Celebrating yourself means mindfully valuing what is happening within sweet, wonderful, amazing YOU. The emphasis here is on the word valuing. Celebrating yourself means valuing the full range
So, if you have diligently registered your experience, and practiced selfcompassion, we are on to the third key for celebrating yourself. The third key is to take who you are, in full
authenticity, into the moment before you. Practice cultivating the ultimate in loving-kindness toward yourself while standing in your truth. Your energy will flow freely and powerfully. Embracing and expressing your true spirit is a grand way to celebrate yourself. You waste precious energy when you fake, back away from, or force your way of being. The world is always made better by the joyful expansion of the YOU that is manifesting every day. So celebrate yourself by fearlessly bringing the truth, the essence of who you are, into the present. Take a moment and enjoy feeling good in your body, say what you are thinking instead of keeping it hidden, reach out and hug that friend you care about but often get shy around. In other words, let your exquisite light shine bright this holiday season. This light will then guide you magnificently into the New Year ahead! Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com. 734.717.7532 December 2017 | 17
Spirituality INTENTIONAL OR FLUFF? by Sharon Lawler
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD PEOPLE SAY, “I’M NOT RELIGIOUS, I’M SPIRITUAL.”
I
’ve always felt comfortable saying I’m spiritual, so it feels normal to me; however, I think it can also be cliche. Many of us are “going through the motions.” when it comes to our spirituality. It’s like feeling anxious or sad, but ignoring it completely or replying with “fine” when someone asks how we are doing. To me, spirituality is about achieving the opposite- it is about being intentional. I was curious to know what others deemed as spirituality and asked some of my closest friends and family. I quickly found out it was not easily defined. Every single person had their definition of what spirituality meant to them. I also searched on the internet. Here are some things that resonated with me in my findings:
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Wikipedia states: “ there is no single, widely agreed definition of spirituality. Surveys of the definition of the term, as used in scholarly research, show a broad range of definitions ranging from unidimensional definitions such as a personal belief in a supernatural realm to broader concepts such as a quest for an ultimate/sacred meaning, transcending the base/material aspects of life, and/or a sense of awe/wonderment and reverence toward the universe....” I also really resonated with the article “The Real Meaning of Spirituality” by Mastin Kipp [http://www.oprah.com/ spirit/meaning-of-spirituality]. He talks about letting Grace into our lives. “Spirituality is the measure of how willing we are to allow Grace- some power
greater than ourselves- to enter our lives and guide us along our way.” He continues by stating: “What spirituality does do is help us better navigate our lives so that the cycle of crisis to Grace isn’t as bumpy. When we behave in ways that are truly spiritual, there are fewer struggles, and there is less suffering. We can ride the waves of crisis with more surrender, and in that way we allow Grace to carry us.” Grace. That’s it. How can you use grace to access your spirituality? Ask yourself, how bumpy is my path? Is there room for grace? I am reminded of an image I painted that completely represents this energy. It hangs in my massage treatment room emitting love, grace, and compassion. It helps to soften my heart when I am in its presence, and know it helps others as well. What if that softening helps to give space to our being so grace can flow through? That painting helps me to get there; perhaps there is something in your world that helps you in the same way too.
When I was talking to my nine-year-old daughter, I asked her what spirituality meant to her. You know what she said? “When you are full of joy.” Later she said “When you are joyful” as they are synonymous to her. If taking the Wikipedia definition, “transcending the base/material aspects of life, and/ or a sense of awe/ wonderment and reverence toward the universe...” then JOY could be one way to navigate life if you are on the path of ease, the path of connection, the path of Spirituality. How much JOY is in your life? I know for me, joy is a perfect word to know spirit is moving through me. She also mentioned, “when you feel your emotions” as another aspect of what spirituality meant to her. I asked her to clarify if it was only good feelings or anything that she felt. To feel them all no matter what they were was her way of being spiritual. Okay, I can understand that. If I take the concept from above when we are open to surrender, that grace carries us, that there are fewer struggles and less suffering- if we held onto our emotions and judged ourselves for having those feelings, then we are cutting off our connection and flow to ourselves and the Divine. How could Grace come into our lives then? On the other hand, if we let these emotions flow through us and release them, then that would definitely be in more flow to what the universe wants to share with us. Wouldn’t JOY automatically be a part of that equation at some point? At the end of that rainbow? I see how these things are weaved together. And, I’m not saying spirituality is about feeling good all the time. I think it quite the opposite. We learn so much when circumstances come our way, lessons to be learned. Sometimes we have acquired the skills to carry us through with ease when something arises, but other times we are faced with something we’ve never dealt with before, and we can be quite wobbly trying to gain our footing.
That is where we grow. When we can transcend through the darkness to the other side. That is when we can stand a little taller knowing we embodied an inner strength we didn’t know we had, found a new confidence within ourselves, and gained a new perspective on life. A friend of mine says there is an aspect of spirituality that is “fluff.” When I stated that spirituality could be cliche- “Kind of like going through the motions without actually being present.” That is the fluff. Maybe it’s practicing yoga, but it’s about fashion or about how fit & limber one has to be to fit into the world. The external factors (avoiding connecting to the heart & feeling what emotions are held within the cells of our bodies & are released with our practice of loving & accepting ourselves for where we are NOW- not when I’m 20lbs lighter). Below are my words I posted after a very touching emotional yoga class I went to a few months ago when I was so very present and could feel everything that was moving through me. “Raw, vulnerable, grateful. That’s me, this morning. It marked a very special place in my heart, with tears rolling down my eyes. You see, it’s been too long since I’ve been able to do yoga. Yearning for the right moment that my body could embrace it again. And, today I became her, the one that nurtures self in a new way. As my teacher, Carter, says- “radical self-care.” It’s been a heck of a ride to be here now. I honored her and what my body could do. Being compassionate with myself instead shaming. I’ve endured lots of that over the years by many people- that I should do this or be like that, that where I was or what I did was never enough. Today was a new day. All that mattered was where my heart was at the present moment. Releasing & shedding all the trauma that occurred over the last few years is part of my healing. Thank you to those that truly see me, I am blessed to have you in my life.”
You see, things shift when we feel them. Things transform. And that day opened me up on a whole new level. My joy came through when I moved from my suffering, and I was embracing ALL of me. I don’t have all the answers, but I am here to explore through my own stories. I have tons of struggles I’ve endured both in my life and business and sometimes it has been a long bumpy road to find Grace. It has definitely made me stronger, but do realize our lives don’t have to be filled with struggles to earn our “badge” or our keep. And, it’s beautiful to create deep & meaningful connections to ourselves, others, and the Divine one with INTENTION, not going through the motions, fluff. In the last 6+ years, I have been studying many ways to connect with more ease and flow outside of the massage and bodywork. That had been my foundation since 2004 to gain a deeper, richer experience to the wisdom all around us. Over the course here each month, I will delve into these riches, more of my story, and what others are saying as well. If any of this resonates or I have inspired you I’d love to know! Feel free to email me connect@tranquilbeing.com . If you want to delve more into my life, follow me on Instagram @tranquil.being. Sharon Marie helps clients create spaciousness within for them to pause, connect to their heart, and feel a new sense of peace. She brings so much compassion and understanding to her clients as she holds space for them on their journey. Her suite is the perfect space holder for her work, providing a safe and sacred container for her clients to fully relax. Sharon’s eclectic mix of modalities include healing massage and bodywork, infrared sauna, medicine walks in nature, the natural rhythms and elements in nature, the wisdom of the season’s, and creativity for healing. Sharon Marie, Founder and Creative Director at Tranquil Being. Contact her through email connect@tranquilbeing.com or call 734-761-8753. She’s located at Tranquil Being, 320 Miller Ave, Suite 185, Ann Arbor, MI 48103
December 2017 | 19
family we do not usually see all year, and we all want to look our best, from head to toe. With all that said I want to share with you three on-trend hairstyles to keep you all stepping out to those parties looking effortless and current.
HOW TO DO YOUR “DO” Holiday Edition
by Ryan Brooks
I
t’s that time of the year again, holiday season, and with that comes the holiday parties. We all want to look our best, but most of us are busy trying to balance family and 20 | The Brick Magazine
work at this time, as well as trying to find the perfect gifts for our loved ones, and trying to make the majority of our holiday events. Let’s also face it, we are going to see friends and
One of the simplest things you can do is schedule a blowout, take time for yourself, relax, let someone else do the work for you. A good blow can last a few days with the right products. It can also be easily styled into any of these looks a few days after. If you want to skip the salon and try styling on your own, one of my favorite looks from the red carpets this season has been the ponytail, YES the ponytail. It can be the lowest maintenance yet sheik look; It can be sleek, textured, or voluminous. It’s been all over every red carpet as well as runways. My favorite for this look is a center parting, with texture swept back into a low pony. You can amp up the texture using a barrel iron, curling in alternating curl patterns, this will help the curls from twisting into each other and instead they will lay on top of one another. Spray a dry shampoo through the ponytail, rake your fingers through to rough up that texture.
A fantastic product for this is V.I.P. from Kerastase. Finishing can make or break this look, so do not let that band show. You can wrap it with a ribbon of your hair, or another great option is hair accessory or jewelry. Check out brands such as Chloe and Isabel they have a variety of colors, and unique styles. If you’re shooting for the sleek pony alternative, start with blowing hair out with Oribe Straight Away (my personal favorite) flat iron hair pin straight, be sure to seal ends down. Then create a crisp deep parting on the desired side, I love more of a wet look with this, create a slicked back smooth, low pony, on the nape of your neck. If you’re not the ponytail type, loose beachy waves are still on trend and another easy way to create an effortless low maintenance look. The best way to make this look different from your everyday look is to play with different partings, if you wear a center part try a deep side parting, I love the “90’s” flip (think Cindy Crawford House of Style era). If you usually have a more consistent wave, try alternating the curl pattern for
a more natural textured wave. A volumized look is also fantastic, and Oribe offers some great products to help get the volume you need. If you have medium to thick hair try Dry Texturizing Spray, if you have fine to medium try Swept Up. Both can be used at the root to achieve more volume, or throughout sparingly to create great texture. Now let’s be a little bit more ambitious, high glamour, perfect for a black-tie event. It’s not as hard as one would think, start with a side parting, section your hair into three areas; nape, mid, then top. Use a 1” to 1 1/4” wand or curling iron, use a workable hairspray for hold, start on the heavier side curling in vertical sections away from your face, continue curling throughout all sections ending with the more shallow side which will end up curling towards your face. Once you finish, use a boar bristle brush or a wide tooth tail comb (I suggest not using a mixed bristle, you can pull too much of the curl out). Gently brush or comb out curls from top to bottom, really work the peeks and ridges, spraying your workable spray smooth and sculpt as you go. This
helps to create a loose finger waved effect. Taking the brush, spray and brush the curls on the side you ended with, brush back and tuck behind the ear, set the look with a firm hold spray. You can finish this look off with another hair accessory to help secure the tucked side. Have fun with your holiday looks and don’t be scared to try something new, changing it up is fun! When in doubt youtube it, you can find numerous tutorials on these looks as well as much more, It’s a helpful tool to use! Happy styling and see you in 2018! Ryan Brooks has been a stylist for over 13 year in the Ann Arbor area, he currently is working behind the chair at Tricho Salon and Spa located at Briarwood. Over is thirteen years as a stylist he has worked as and educator for Goldwell and most recently Kerastase, he has also had the opportunity to work with multiple productions in stage, movie, as well as print. You can also follow him on Instagram: @ryanbrookshair Have a hair question you need answered? Contact him at stylistryan@gmail.com he will be answering questions in future publications.
December 2017 | 21
Patience
THE BENEFITS OF by Alycia Huston
Creator of the Luminous Leadership Model™
“How am I going to make it through this holiday season?”
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T
hat was a question I asked myself a few years ago. I was thinking this while I was looking at all of the people that were coming to OUR house for Thanksgiving, while I was silently praying for strength. Growing up, my parents’ house was the spot where many of our family and friends came to connect and socialize. With the passing of my mother in 2006, much of that had come to a screeching halt. However, about 5 years later my dad had remarried and expressed that he REALLY wanted our family to host the holidays at our
home once again. C’mon, this was my dad – what was I going to say - No? I think not, so I said yes. Immediately, I got that yucky feeling in my stomach and immediately thought “what have I agreed to”? All I could think about was if we had enough wine in the house for me to tolerate all of these people.
After being in my own pity party for a few days, I actually had the wherewithal to take some quiet time for myself at the beach and listen to the waves. It was in that very moment, I made the decision this holiday season was going to be one of the best since we lost my mom. As I briefly think back to that wonderful year, I can still hear the amazing compliments regarding me being, “such a gracious hostess”. I didn’t see it at the time but I now understand how I not only endured but actually thrived during the whole season and
each year since. Cooking and hosting a large number of people in the home can be a bit overwhelming – not to mention having to still manage your own immediate family. What I realized while spending that time alone on the beach, was how I was going to honor myself and still operate from a space of joy during this time. After all, I was the CEO of a successful business. If I can manage employees and contractors, I should be able to manage this as well. This is where I activated what I now refer to as my “Triple P” playbook. The first step I took was to call a family meeting. I wanted to be sure we’d all be operating from the same playbook. What I recognize is, many of us are operating by the rules we create, but we fail to include all the crucial players in the process, which is when we see the undesired final result of confusion.
PLAN: As a successful professional woman, you know this is one of the surest ways to increase the chances of success. When there is no plan you are basically saying you’re fine with anything happening in any fashion. Of course, you also understand that a plan is really a guide and everything may not follow the exact detail of the plan created. But you certainly have increased your chances tremendously of having what is ultimately developed being in close proximity to your vision, or even greater.
PATIENCE: Oh yes, I can hear you now saying – “what do you mean? I’m always patient and kind”….. During the holiday season, patience can easily be something that you find yourself on an endless search for. It definitely does seem like we’re living in the Twilight Zone with some of the nonsense I’ve witnessed. I know
I’m not the only one who has observed family, friends and complete strangers exhibit behaviors that literally have had you think they must be possessed. So, in order to keep your own crazy in the box before embarrassing yourself (because we also have it within us), I definitely encourage setting the intention of enacting more patience during the holiday season. I can tell you from experience this has allowed me to look at situations from a different vantage point and just observe from a place of no attachment. Let me also caveat this by saying, you don’t allow anyone to just run over you and treat you inappropriately. However, this posture shift can be a wonderful contribution to your sanity.
PERSONAL TIME:
In my opinion, this is one of the most important steps. If you want to enjoy yourself and not find yourself in martyr-mode or just plain miserable – this is a nonnegotiable. I’ve always had a morning ritual which directly contributes to me and how I begin each day. BUT, during the holiday season there is a lot more stressful energy that I find myself exposed to and I realized I needed to take additional time for ME. What that may look like is closing my office door for five minutes of meditation or simple silence. I recall one year I was invited to a very large holiday luncheon, there was a point where it just became too loud and I knew I needed a moment. I politely excused myself and went in the bathroom where I took a moment to just be still and relax. There will be some obligations you can’t escape, so knowing you have options is lovely.
Since implementing the above strategies, I have increased the joy I experience during the holiday season and certainly minimized my stress levels. It’s even more amazing because my family is aware of how I operate and doesn’t ask questions when I may disappear momentarily. It’s also important to remember the holiday season is not celebrated or enjoyable for everyone. Do not take it personally nor should you insert your beliefs if someone expresses a thought contrary to yours. Each one of us is entitled to the way we feel and we should honor and respect one another accordingly. Happy Holidays! Alycia Huston is a consultant for high-powered and accomplished entrepreneurs and corporate executives. Helping to build a business, make key decisions for your company, lead from “within and of ” your people, and helping you to take pride in your accomplishments. LeaDHERship Adventures, LLC. Alycia@alyciahuston.com. 619.490.8058
December 2017 | 23
How To Chose a Financial Planner by Nadine Burns
“Finances, that is the last thing I want to think about!” Well, ladies, I know you are swamped and have more things on your to-do list than there are hours in the day. However, more women are looking for financial information than ever before, but many do not take action because they are afraid of what they do not know. Some also feel that a financial professional will look down upon them because they don’t have enough saved or are not organized enough. Years ago, financial assistance meant either stockbrokers or insurance agents, which meant a salesman, and as women doesn’t that make the hair on the back of your neck just stand up? Today there is a new breed of financial professional, the Financial Planner. A financial planner looks at your entire financial life, helps you define needs and then helps you prioritize them – because we all can’t afford to buy a vacation home, go on a cruise, get a new car, pay college tuition and save for retirement all at the same time! It is more important for women to address their finances than men, why? Well, ladies we: • Start work with lower paying jobs than men, the “gender wage gap” is now at 17% • We take time off or peddle back our career to care for children or aging loved ones more often than men • We tend to retire at an earlier age • We live LONGER and have more healthcare costs • And now 44% of women are the primary breadwinner in their family (Prudential, 2014) All of that means that we need to be sure we are prepared financially, even more than men.
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Questions a financial planner can help with include: • What amount should you be saving for retirement? Is a Roth better than a retirement plan at work? • When should you take Social Security? 62, 66, or 70? If you were divorced, can you take an Ex-husband’s Social Security? When can you afford to retire? How do you find a financial planner that you can talk to, and what should you look for? One place to start is by looking at the website: www.letsmakeaplan.org, which lists Certified Financial Planner™ professionals in your area. These planners have to have a bachelor’s degree, financial planning coursework completed, complete a Capstone and an all day long exam. They also have to abide by the organization’s principles and have a clean record with at least three years of planning experience. Another place to look is www.brokercheck.finra.org – the site administered by the Financial Regulatory Association (FINRA) that gives you a glimpse of a professional’s experience, licenses as well as any disciplinary actions in their past. Meet with a few different planners, understand how they work and listen to that gut feeling. You have to determine if they will be someone you can have a professional relationship with for a few decades! Nadine Burns is a Certified Financial Planner™ Professional in Ann Arbor, Michigan and is the President of A New Path Financial, LLC. She also holds an MBA and enjoys working with women. Securities offered through Sigma Financial Corporation, member FINRA (FINRA.org) and SIPC (SIPC.org). Investment Advisory services offered through Sigma Planning Corporation, a Registered Investment Advisor. A New Path Financial, LLC is independent of Sigma Financial Corporation and Sigma Planning Corporation.
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thank your body for getting you this far. While far from perfect, our bodies do a lot for us. Say thank you to your body by taking care of it. Don’t worry, taking care of your body doesn’t have to be complicated, and with a bit of thought, you can easily incorporate a few shifts that will have a significant impact.
SLEEP Sleep, good quality sleep is a commodity. It is sometimes difficult to wind down at the end of the day, and for some, hormone fluctuations don’t make this any easier. Rest is vital to supporting normal endocrine function, metabolism, energy, and appetite. The average adult needs 8 hours of sleep. Sleeping less than 6 hours a night has been shown to contribute to an increase in fat storage, a decrease in athletic performance and recovery, a decline in cognitive functioning and memory, and can lead to elevated cortisol levels. In the long term, it can also contribute to premature aging. So what can you do today to ensure you are getting enough sleep?
THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF
APPRECIATING YOUR BODY by Lisa Profera MD
H
olidays are upon us so let’s take a moment to remember all that our bodies do for us throughout the year. They
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contribute to everything we do, our families, career, and friendships. They also help us through the challenging times. In fact, if you are reading this
Sleep hygiene, slowing down the mind and body to prepare for sleep. Be sure to turn off all electronic at-least one hour before you want to go to sleep. You can take a warm bath, meditate, listen to quiet music, do visualization, or anything that will help you relax. If you are a light sleeper, using earplugs, wearing a sleep mask, or listening sleep sounds may be helpful. Diffusing a calming essential oil can also assist in setting the right atmosphere. If you find yourself awake in the middle of the night ruminating over the laundry list of things to do, keep a pad of paper near your bed and just jot it down. Keep the lights
on at a low level and don’t look at the blue light on your phone or computer screen. Go to your happy place and get back to sleep. I do not recommend over-the-counter or prescription sleep aids such as Benadryl, Ambien, Xanax, or Valium as they give you a “false sleep,” meaning that they may make you drowsy, but you don’t get a deep refreshing sleep. Alcohol use at night is also a sleep disruptor. These may also cause daytime drowsiness. Caffeine use also affects the quality of your sleep. In general, it should be avoided in the afternoon and evening. Some people find Melatonin to be helpful although effects may be temporary. Decaffeinated green tea or highquality supplements that contain L-theanine are regarded as safe and effective sleep aids. L-theanine is an amino acid that is converted into neurotransmitters such as GABA ( gamma-aminobutyric acid ), serotonin, and dopamine, allowing us to get into a more relaxed and natural sleep state. It promotes relaxation without sedation (no morning grogginess). If you are struggling with sleep, consult with a physician such as myself to determine which product and dosage are best for you.
EXERCISE Exercise uplifts our mood, increases our energy levels, and improves the quality of our sleep, and is a critical factor in our overall health. Say thank you to your body and make sure you fit in even a small amount of exercise each day. If time is running tight, don’t skip the workout; just make it shorter and more intense. Research has shown that short, intense intervals of exercise are extremely beneficial and can even slow the aging process. You can get huge health benefits in only 5-8 minutes whether it is at the gym, outside, or at home. Some good examples of this would be Tabata-
style sprints (uphill even better), rowing, biking, and inclined treadmill, so ramp it up. Weight lifting is key to maintaining muscle mass as we age. This helps burn fat and calories in addition to building strength. Just make sure that you are using proper form/ technique or are being supervised by a trainer. Sometimes yoga, Tai Chi, or other meditative forms of physical movement are what you need. My recommendation would be to mix it up and do a little bit of everything for a nice balance.
NUTRITION Nutrition, Make sure you are putting nutritious, nutrient-dense foods into your body. While a treat every so often is okay, try not to compromise the quality of your meals to save time, just get clever. No time to chop veggies? Don’t buy fast food or highly processed food just to get something on the table. Buy the precut ones at the store, do a quick stirfry with a healthy oil (like olive oil), and add your protein of choice. If you eat eggs, meats, and fish shop for the “cleanest” versions possible. With a bit of planning and creativity, you can become very efficient in the kitchen and prepare balanced, nutritious meals in very little time. Get the kids involved. Have them help prepare meals by assigning age-appropriate tasks. They will learn how to cook and may even eat a greater variety of foods if they play a role in making the meal. A wonderful strategy for being more efficient in the kitchen is outlined in the book by Liza Baker called “Flip Your Kitchen.” When time gets tight, don’t skip a meal; just carry a few highquality nutrition bars in your bag.
Supplementation with top-notch bioavailable vitamins, minerals, and probiotics can help contribute to your to our overall health. It is ideal to have local, seasonal fruits and vegetables in our diet whenever possible, but in the winter months, this can be challenging. Consult your physician to determine if supplementation makes sense for you. Be sure to find a product with nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables in capsule or soft gummy forms that can bridge the gaps in your nutrition. Now that you have given your body a great big thank you for all it has done for you this year. Go out and have an incredible holiday season. Lisa Profera MD is the Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine. With over 25 years of medical experience, Dr. Lisa Profera offers a wealth of knowledge and perspective. She is passionate about helping people optimize beauty, health and wellness.
PROJUVU MD, Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine
Professional Rejuvenation Services Centered Around You drprofera@gmail.com • 844-PROJUVU
December 2017 | 27
Cornman Farms
Bigger BE A PART OF SOMETHING
by Kristen Domingue
W
Cornman Farms
e got the chance to talk to Tabitha Mason about the wonderful work she is doing and what it’s really like to be in a unique business partnership with the Zingerman family. Tabitha had a long history in the restaurant industry before becoming a managing partner of one the companies associated with the Zingerman’s Community of Businesses,
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Cornman Farms. Zingerman’s is a unique company with great ideas. They engage their staff, make them feel as though they are a part of their overall business by creating a familylike atmosphere, which makes them excited to want to come to work. To facilitate this, Zingerman’s offers business and leadership training both to its employees and the general public to learn systems that create mutual
support between the “job” and the “employee.” They are also committed to cultivating a sense of ownership throughout the business, not just at the top. These ideas inspired Tabitha and were counter to everything she experienced in her previous 20 years in the hospitality industry. She relocated to Ann Arbor, Michigan to become a part of the change happening in her industry, and hopefully, across industries everywhere.
TABITHA SHARES I never thought I’d be a business owner, but I knew I wanted to do good. I started my Zingerman’s career in 2011 at the Zingerman’s Roadhouse, where my now business partner was head chef. I had decades of experience in traditional restaurant settings, which means long hours, poor support for families, a lack of care for employees, and generally not great business practices. There was always an emphasis on revenue over people, and when I heard about Zingerman’s,
A business partnership is a marriage.” Being told to go into it with that mindset was helpful. The interviewing partners I met refused to blow smoke about what it would be like. One partner asked me what I liked about working with Kieron, and I remember giving a pat answer - like, “Oh, he makes me laugh,” to which she responded, “That’s nice. When you first got married to your husband, did he make you laugh? Do you still find him funny?” And that opened my eyes.
Tabitha Mason
vision that we could have events to pay the bills so we could do other things we wanted to do: • Grow great food • Take great care of our people
We essentially went through the business version of premarital counseling. As part of our process, we wrote down our deal breakers. Our CSO (Chief Spiritual Officer) Paul Saginaw, the co-founder of Zingerman’s, created the invitation for us to get in a room and say some things to one another that didn’t feel so good.
• Do special food-based things I knew they were starting to create a better way of doing business.
This gave us an avenue to do all of these things.
I became managing partner of Cornman Farms in August of 2017. By that time, Kieron had departed from the Roadhouse and was already the founding managing partner.
Zingerman’s has a unique way of promoting partners from within. Zingerman’s “The Path to Partnership” is a structured, two-year development and interview process that prepares you to become an owner within the organization. During the application process, I was asked to do a lot of soul-searching through very personal questions about things like my upbringing and beliefs. Then the answers were shared with the existing partners and the 700 other employees within the organization. I felt vulnerable. There were times I thought, “This is the best decision I’ve ever made, I can’t wait to get to Cornman.” Then other times I cried and thought, “How am I going to tell Kieron I can’t do this?” The Path to Partnership process caused me to evaluate and define what I wanted to do, in very truthful terms with myself and those around me.
Kieron and I both love food. My background is sales and catering. And when we got together, we shared the
A business partnership is like a marriage. You have to have that mindset going into it
One class all new employees takes, is called “Welcome to the Zingerman’s Community of Businesses.” When my trainer started talking about sustainable business and the kind of business they envision at Zingerman’s, it was as if all of the things I’d wanted and felt were possible had been given a voice. It was so overwhelming to me that I excused myself from the table, went to the bathroom and cried. In that training, I realized I wanted to become an owner because my impact on the business, the people and the community around us would be the greatest from this place.
The reality of the kind of relationship I have with Kieron is that it’s both my healthiest relationship with another human being and one of my most contentious relationships. There were times when we worked together at the Roadhouse where we’d go into the walk-in and have an all-out shouting match before a shift, come to a resolution about something or table it for later and get back to work without letting it drag us both down. With Kieron, we can disagree, but I still feel respected and heard. When it comes down to it, we’ve always agreed on our guiding principles, even if we sometimes disagree on the “how.” And we’re even more aligned now that I’ve gone through the Path to Partnership. We now better understand how we’ll make our decisions when we disagree. For example, we were asked to come to Vienna and cater a wedding, and in front of the prospective client I said no, and Kieron shouted out yes. As part of deciding if we could do it or December 2017 | 29
launching our private dining packages and seasonal menus. Another example is the gravel paths throughout the property. We’re just figuring out how people use the space. Thank goodness we didn’t pave yet, we’ve since learned people don’t walk where we thought they’d walk, don’t drive or park where we thought they would. We can now tell on the grass where we need to put paths and cement.
Outdoor dinning, Cornman Farms
not, we went on a trip to Vienna to see the space, interview caterers and in the process, we figured it out. We’re designing the menu, the caterer in Vienna will execute it. He pushes for the idea. I’m practical. I do things that are crazy and outside of my comfort zone because I’m willing to give it a whirl and he asked. And he documents systems he normally wouldn’t document because he knows it will make me happy and because I asked. We know the other is thinking about what’s best for the business. And no matter how strong I feel, he knows at the end of the day; I’m still his partner. So we do a lot of negotiating and spending time getting to a decision we both feel good about.
HOW WE MAKE DECISIONS WHEN WE COME FROM TWO DIFFERENT PLACES Often we have an idea of how things will go, only to learn more and change directions. When Cornman Farms opened, we thought we would be the venue and leverage the catering partners within the Zingerman’s
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organization. But we quickly learned that wasn’t the best way to provide great service to our clients, so we had to pivot and hire what we now know as our event production team. They act as the key liaison between the guest, venue, and caterer to keep things highly organized and make the planning process as smooth as possible. This high-level approach to customer service has been a key differentiator in setting Cornman Farms apart in the industry. We also discovered a demand for in-house catering, meaning Kieron personally cooks for your event. We shouldn’t be surprised considering Kieron’s world-class culinary background, but it’s grown into a significant portion of the business. Having a strong relationship with our catering partners and their ability to service our larger events, has allowed Kieron the time to work closely with our clients for the smaller, more intimate events at the farm. The smaller scale gives him the freedom to be even more creative in the kitchen and offer something truly special. It’s been a great opportunity to showcase our own culinary voice and has been instrumental in
And finally, when we first opened I was a fan of creating catering packages. But that wasn’t the agreement that Kieron and I finally landed on when we talked through our business model. So we only charged people for what they used in our first two years. This meant we were charging for forks, spoons, napkins, chairs, and it was an administrative nightmare. Guests couldn’t budget. And finally, two years ago we switched to a package model. But the first two years of charging per use were helpful; they told us how we should price our packages. A big piece of our decision-making strategy in partnership is to share our ideas, pick one, try it, evaluate it, pivot as needed. When we started with the packages, we thought guests would be excited certain things were included and then learned those things weren’t what they needed. So we listened, we added things and subtracted things. Customer feedback is invaluable to us. We’re constantly surveying our clients - brides, grooms, parents, vendors, and ask them to be honest about what they like about working with us and what we can do differently to provide an even better experience. Sometimes we get hard feedback but people are thinking it, and I’d rather know; then we can start budgeting how to make their requests happen.
THE REALITY IS OUR VISION IS NEVER “DONE.” We recently created our 10-year site plan. What’s interesting is that our plan isn’t exclusively about what our site it will become, but more about how we’ll arrive at those decisions. There are some things we agree we want to do, for sure. But our site plan includes specifics on how we decide and communicate about where we’re going. One example is that we’ve grown to a point where we’re ready to replace the tent we use for outdoor weddings with an actual structure. We researched, we talked it through, we went back and forth on a bigger, grander tent versus a physical structure. In the end, we decided to go with a new building. Originally we wanted just to do it next year and get it out of the way, but when we began to plan it, it just didn’t make sense. So instead we have an evolving, rolling plan where we never say the property is done. In part because right now, the truth is, we don’t have that money. We don’t know exactly where we’ll get it from. But we’re committed to finding it, and in particular, finding it in a way that doesn’t negatively impact the employees.
We want to be able to pay them well, make them feel a part of the process -- this is their property too. We’d love for them to have ownership. So this is one example of how Kieron and I may choose not to make as much profit as possible but instead do what’s best for the business long term. Our site plan includes how we’ll make growth decisions like these.
IF YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT WAGES, IT’S HARD TO TALK ABOUT RETENTION. Another interesting thing about how Kieron and I work is that we’re not the highest paid employees in our business. We will be someday, but for now, we focus on “What does success mean to you?” For Kieron, it means having a company car. So in our budget planning for next year, we have a line for him to have a vehicle. When we thought about this for our employees, we realized it mattered that we create a way for employees to take home food from the farm since it’s there, it’s fresh and it’s the fruit of their own labor. We’re now working on a plan to create this opportunity for them as one more benefit to working here.
My dream is to be able to roll out transparent wages. People have perceptions of how Kieron and I are paid and how their peers are paid that aren’t true. And it will be interesting, scary but beneficial if people knew the truth and we removed the stigma around wage. We want to be able to say, “This is what we can pay people.” As opposed to raises happening in back rooms or private conversations. I believe that’s when there’s room for things like favoritism and sexism while solid employees who never ask for raises get passed over simply because they don’t ask. The reality is I don’t expect that people will stay here forever. I don’t pretend a $12-$13 per hour job is the best job anyone’s ever had or will get. But I know if we can’t talk about wage, we can’t talk about retention. I’ve been talking about this for two years, and I know it’s making some of our team uncomfortable. So I’m pacing it -- I want to go slowly, respectfully into this. But I think this is the right thing to do. No one else in our organization (Zingerman’s Community of Businesses) is doing it, and there aren’t success stories around this yet, but that doesn’t scare me. I’d like us to be the success story that lets other people take the first step. I want us to be the North Star. It’s inspiring and humbling at the same time to have the business that says, “No, the norm isn’t ok, we can be different, we can be better.”
The Barn, Cornman Farms
Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area. When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.
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LIFE DOES GET EASIER,
WHEN YOU GET BETTER by Meshell R. Baker
I
f you are like me, you probably don’t like talking about yourself. You find it easier to be distracted by supporting, helping and promoting others. So, when I was challenged me to write about myself, I was initially stumped. I pondered and wondered for a week before telling someone about my conundrum. And as any good ally does, they reminded me of
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what I’m great at, of what I love to do, and for me that is acronyms! So keep an eye out, for an acronym is sure to appear! Let’s get this party started. Who is Meshell R Baker? And why is this article worth reading? Well, I value time and won’t waste yours. If you are like me, you have probably had
some setbacks and disappointments. And you believe that there’s something great out there, just for you. But if you are like I was, you’ve never been quite sure about how to get it for yourself or how to make it last. Let me share with you how I’ve taken my life’s biggest setbacks and used them as setups for a rich everyday life experience.
Okay, where do I begin…? I could start by telling you one of my first memories of childhood was the harsh reality that I was a mistake of birth, the result of an unplanned pregnancy, an unwanted marriage born to two teenage parents. Or that by thirteen I owned three businesses: babysitting, sewing/ tailoring, and baking cookies and cakes. But by seventeen my brilliance had dimmed a bit, and I was barely able to graduate from high school. At nineteen I sparked again, becoming the youngest management trainee at an electronics retailer branch. Here is when I made a life-altering mistake. I was a young, insecure teen, easily influenced. The guy I was dating convinced me that credit card fraud was harmless. I was arrested, convicted and incarcerated at 20. It wasn’t until I was around twentyfive that I set my sights on believing I could achieve the impossible. All I was doing before then was getting by. After serving a minimal sentence thanks to a glowing recommendation from my youth pastor submitted to the judge, I managed to find work, and as you may imagine there are not a lot of opportunities for a newly released convict. But because I was determined to never return to prison, I took and did whatever job I could get. I quickly recognized those who were reincarcerated had failed to find lasting employment. It was the lack of meaningful ambition that led folks astray. So, I decided to stay busy. I intended to do whatever it took, no matter what to stay out of prison, and I did.
others. I discovered I was terrific at anticipating the needs of my bosses and superiors. Being raised in a single parent household had given me a heightened awareness and sensitivity to my surroundings. Added to that was the responsibility of being the eldest of 3, so I was a gifted codependent. I learned to be attentive on the job. I started showing up early, staying late and asking lots of questions. I deduced that becoming a person who people responded to by saying, “How did you know to do that?” versus “Why didn’t you do that?” was my golden ticket. This ability began to open doors I never knew existed. I had mastered critical thinking. Soon enough my stellar references landed me a job at a law firm as a file clerk. Their community outreach program was (or became) a step up from the janitorial and kitchen support staff jobs that had been occupying my time. One day after clearing and cleaning the break room from a going away party for one of the law partners (who by the
way, was leaving law to pursue her dream of becoming a doctor) I was called into the law partner’s office. It turns out she had been observing me. And what she observed was 1) I never required supervision, 2) My completed work far exceeded expectations, and 3) I did anything that needed to be done without being asked. She is my first memory of someone asking me my WHY. She wanted to know WHY someone so smart and talented was wasting her life and gifts as a file clerk. She wanted me to know there were an endless and infinite number of options that awaited me if only I would seek them. And that was all she said. But what she did was plant a seed of desire that, coupled with my determination, forever changed my life. Oh yeah-- at 25 I became a college freshman at Howard University in Washington, DC. Did I forget to mention I’m from the Oakland, CA area? I’d been attending a local community college for two years while struggling to keep pace with
While working crap jobs to keep me focused on the goal of never going back, I found what I was good at, being of service to the needs of
December 2017 | 33
I live, eat, sleep, and breath VISION! My passion and purpose are to empower as many people as possible to experience joy and enthusiasm for their lives. I’ll leave you with a few Meshell-isms!
M – MIRACLES OF MISTAKES Nothing amazing has ever been created with a mistake. So, get busy and make some mistakes! E – EXCEPTIONAL EXPERIENCES People never forget how you made them feel. Decide you will always leave others better off. S – SUSTAINABLE SUCCESS The journey of a lifetime begins with step one. Find your patient and persistent pace. H – HEALTHY HABITS The mind, body, and soul all work together. You are your habits, so create some good ones. E – EFFORTS IN EXCELLENCE Do your absolute best with what you have, where you are, right now. Your value will increase. L – LIFELONG LEARNER The one constant in life is change. If you aren’t learning, you will be left behind. L – LONGSTANDING LEGACY We all become a memory. Decide who you want to be remembered as, and become that person.
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my friends. I knew something had to give. I came to that decision after listening to a Les Brown cassette tape on the advantages of Black students attending Historically Black Universities and Colleges (HBCU’s) versus the mainstream ones. He cited statistical evidence of the success in higher education, entrepreneurialism and overall fulfillment for those Black students who graduated from HBCU’s. And I believed. Not only did I research, find and apply to Howard University, I remember thinking to myself, but I also want to be a motivational speaker.
have more stuff and status believing, “If I just get…it will all be okay.” This is the lie the world advertises on a non-ending loop, that your joy will only be found in fulfillment of something outside of yourself. Let me make it simple. If all the stuff and status mattered, you’d be able to take it with you when you died. And the No. 1 regret of the dying – they wish they dared to live a life truer to themselves, not the life others expected of them. Isn’t it interesting how people who follow their dreams are happier and more pleasant to be around?
So here we are twenty-odd years later, and what have I learned? That a life without meaning and purpose is a prison. A life where I am doing what I think I should do, what I have to do and/or what I need to do, is no fun. Seriously, we only get one shot at this thing called life, and I’m taking mine. I found that I had spent twenty years chasing stuff and status because I thought it would make me happy. But when I looked around, I discovered no one was happy. What I observed was namecalling, gossiping, rumor spreading, competing and comparing. So I pressed pause and set out to discover my WHY. But this time I decided there would be no more assumptions based on what I saw or what others told me. I found inside of myself what is the truth for me. I discovered my purpose and my WHY. I am, and we all are meant to be blessings. We all can be a gift to others. Not just some but to all. But the challenges and difficulties of life weigh us down. The struggling and striving to
So, what is the gift of Meshell R Baker to the world? I’m so glad you asked! I help people create a vision for their lives so that they are empowered to embrace their intuitive (inner voice). That means carving a path that is individual and beautiful and unique and demands that your voice be the No. 1 voice you trust. Working with me prepares you for feeling uncomfortable and making decisions when faced with uncertainty. I offer a one-of-a-kind experience that guides you to define your legacy, declare your vision for personal and professional achievements and design a purposeful path that is yours and yours alone.
There’s no such thing as a damsel in distress. We now live in a world of heroes.
WRITING YOUR WAY HOME A workshop about telling yourself the (hero) story of your own life
WINTER SESSION: December 20, 2017 – March 21, 2018 Theme: Lost & Found Wednesdays 1:30 – 3pm Eastern www.stellaorange.com/writing-way-home
Celebrating over 45 years as the real estate leader in Ann Arbor
734.272.1371 sarah@sarahwhitsett.com 2355 W. Stadium Blvd., Ann Arbor, MI 48103 734.665.0300