THE BRICK MAGAZINE MAY 2019

BRICK

THE

MAY 2019

MAGAZINE

GET SIMPLE. GET FRESH. GET OUT IN NATURE FIND YOUR WAY OUT OF A RUT A FRESH COAT OF PAINT

PLUS! NURTURING MOM THIS MOTHER’S DAY AND EVERY DAY

Tammi Carr

THE LOSS THAT SPARKED A MOVEMENT

ANN ARBOR

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

MAY 2019

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Assistant to the Publisher • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Online Creative • Bridget Baker

8

Get Simple. Get Fresh.

Get Out In Nature

10

The Loss that Sparked a Movement with Tammi Carr

16

Find Your Way Out of a Rut

18

Wedding Season Wardrobe: What to Wear

22

Composting the Stale Mind

26

A Fresh Take on Nurturing Mom this Mother’s Day and Every Day: A Guide for Every Woman

30

The Rhythm of Spring: A Cook’s Indulgence

30

Welcome to Booze 101 with Liz The Old-Fashioned Moment

32

Am I Light or Am I Lite?

36

A Fresh Coat of Paint

40

Fertile Ground: A Fresh Perspective on Healing

44

“Re”-Fresh Your Blood Flow

46

Woman on the Street A Search for Friends

48

Intimate Requests: Keep It Fresh

Cover Photographer • Heidi McClelland

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Contributors >>

Bridget Baker Gail Barker, B.A., C.P.C.C. Alison Corey Liz Crowe

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Morella Devost Kristen Domingue Tiffany Edison Jillian Fraioli Angela Harrison

Kellie Mox-Richards Lisa Profera Stephanie Saline Maria Sylvester

Contact Us >>

The Brick Magazine, LLC 734.221.5767 Email: office@thebrickmagazine.com Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com

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Advertising Inquires >> email office@thebrickmagazine.com or call 734.221.5767

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Find Us ... >>

Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have THE BRICK MAGAZINE delivered directly to your home.

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The Brick Magazine >>

THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC

6 | The Brick Magazine

Get Simple. Get Fresh.

Get Out In Nature.

by Bridget Baker

I

’ve always been a self-proclaimed “city girl.” I love to walk, and I especially love a good stroll to a local coffee shop or to meet up with friends.

Considering myself an “urban hiker,” I was one of the few people I knew who actually walked when I lived in Los Angeles, and I felt freedom in the mobility that my feet offered me.

To me, “opting outside” meant taking a long walk, even if the path was littered with trash, graffiti, and the sound of honking horns. I made it a point to step away from my computer — I’m a web designer and branding consultant by trade — to see the sky, to watch trees sway in the wind, and to capture what little moments of nature in the city that I could.

8 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Bridget Baker

In the city, I found myself susceptible to taking on the stress of what was around me. Type-A personalities were in a hurry, trying to get in last-minute shopping before a dinner party, or drudging through their morning commute. There was a hustle and bustle that I would get hooked into, noticing my stress level increasing with the tempers and demeanors around me. The pace was fast, and I constantly felt like I had to catch up to it.

I had taken all of this time to craft a business in which I had location freedom — I could work from anywhere as long as I have phone service — and I was wasting it by living in a place that no longer matched what was important to me. I valued a slower-paced way of living, where I take time-outs just to hear a bird chirping, rather

than being locked indoors all day long. Going out on the road forces me to get outside and enjoy more.

•

Increases energy level.

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Improves sleep.

A few years ago, we left Los Angeles to venture out on the road in a travel trailer full-time. We were craving adventure, and I was ready to breathe fresh air, and just “be” in nature. To move away from the constant buzz and noise that is Los Angeles meant freedom from helicopters whirring overhead, and the sounds of birds chirping in the morning. We did not have an end goal or destination in mind, but simply to wander and travel as long as it was fun for both of us. Three years in, we’re still traveling strong!

Simplifying this view on productivity has decreased my tendency to worry, which is something I’ve struggled with often. In the city, I was prone to insomnia and anxiety. While I’m not sure I’m destined to be a fulltime country girl, as I love the creativity, diversity, and productivity the city has to offer, I know that taking the time to forest bathe is something I want to do, no matter what. To venture out and absorb the beauty of a place, to breathe in unpolluted air, and to listen to birds chirping soothes my soul.

Living mostly in RV campgrounds, I’m surrounded by trees and wildlife. I was missing, however, that city walk where I felt like I could be productive — and I missed being able to walk anywhere. I didn’t have to drive to a store, and I liked the ease of living within walking distance of several great places to shop.

This kind of nature walking has changed me. I notice my heart rate slow down. I notice ease in my breathing and my worries slipping away. What is more important in that moment than noticing the changing color of the trees, or the gentle trickle of the water over the rocks in a stream?

My concerns just melt away.

What I didn’t realize was that being able to hike out in nature offers such a different opportunity. I am not racing to get to and from somewhere. I am walking just to walk, pausing when I want to as I enjoy the craftsmanship in a well-tended footpath, or to curiously wonder what type of moss is growing on the bark of a tree.

Out here, the biggest message for me so far has been for me to slow down and take nature breaks. There is no need for a frenetic pace to prove I am important or to feel productive. I am satisfied with less in my life. Less stress.

Less panic. Less noise.

I was reading an article the other day about a Japanese technique called “forest bathing,” which is shown to boost immunity, alleviate stress, and lower blood pressure and heart rate. As I walk through the trees and breathe in fresh air, I hear the gentle message to “just be” — to be present in that very moment. This mindful awareness shows me how to relax when it’s time to relax and create when it’s time to create. No worry. No stress. Nothing to do other than what is right before me.

The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation lists the benefits of forest bathing here: •

Boosts the immune system.

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Lowers blood pressure.

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Reduces stress.

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Improves mood.

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Increases the ability to focus, even in children with ADHD.

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Accelerates recovery from surgery or illness.

To live a simple life is not only about having fewer things or commitments. A minimalist lifestyle means a slower pace, being satisfied with less. Nature is the perfect playground for that simplicity. Taking breaks and breathing fresh air is key.

Nature is having me enjoy the delicious pauses in the silence. As I breathe in and breathe out, I find clarity of purpose and what’s important becomes very simple to me. Fresh air can do a world of wonders and can provide the kind of reset that’s needed for your most productive, creative, and fulfilled life.

Bridget Baker is a branding consultant, website designer, minimalist, digital nomad, and adventurer. For 10 years, she’s supported small business owners in branding, designing, writing, simplifying, and integrating their websites so that they can do what they love and have more fun in the process. She also lives full-time in a travel trailer with her husband and little dog, writing and speaking about minimalism, decluttering, and living simply.

Find her at : bridgetbakermojo.com; travellightlife.com

May 2019 | 9

Photo by Heidi McClelland

10 | The Brick Magazine

The Loss that Sparked a Movement with Tammi Carr

by Kristen Domingue

Our interview with Tammi Carr chronicles how she moved from loss to leading a life of impact through her work raising awareness and funding for DIPG (diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma).

If your children are experiencing grief over the loss of someone close to them, we encourage you to get support. Ele’s Place (www.elesplace.org) is a wonderful resource for grieving families. If a child you know is battling pediatric brain cancer, the ChadTough Foundation, started by interviewee Tammi Carr and her husband Jason, is a resource that can support you and your family with next steps.

Trigger warning: if you’ve recently lost a child or family member, or you are in the process of managing a terminal illness, Tammi’s inspirational story may trigger emotional responses that may be overwhelming.

O

anyway. I remember sitting there and thinking, “Wow, these parents that have to be here all the time, I can’t imagine what they’re going through.”

He fell and broke his nose. They did what they could to patch him up at the hospital and sent us home.

So we waited...and when the second hour went by and we still had no word...we started to worry. Hour three came and went, and we started to wonder if this might be more than a concussion.

But that night, I woke up. Even though it was peaceful, a new awareness was dawning on me: he fell on the way out of the emergency room. He fell at gymnastics. This isn’t like our son.

Something inside me said we needed to take him back to the hospital. And then I fell back asleep.

Eventually, the anesthesiologist came to get us and we could see she had been crying. She said, “We found something and we need you to come with us.” He was sleeping in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) at that point, and we sat with him while we waited for someone to come and talk to us.

The next day, my husband and I watched Chad very carefully, and we both could tell that something wasn’t right. So we took him back to the hospital, and I remember we had to convince the doctors that something was wrong.

I worked with Dr. Valerie Opipari, who was the Chair of the Department of Pediatrics at Mott Children’s Hospital, in fundraising for over 10 years, so I called her up. She knew we were there and she asked how it was going. I told her that they found something, but we still didn’t know what was going on; she offered to check in and then call me back. She called me back shortly thereafter, and she said that she and her husband were coming in to meet us. I said to my husband, “It’s cancer, I know it.”

ur son Chad was diagnosed with DIPG, a rare form of brain cancer that grows in the middle of the brainstem, on Sep 23rd, three days before his fourth birthday. We had a name for what happened, but no clue what we were in for next.

They thought this was a concussion. Even though they discouraged us from waiting around for an MRI (we had to wait until it had been hours after Chad’s last meal), we pressed them to let us do the MRI

May 2019 | 11

The next bit is a blur. The resident working with us took us over to a computer, and showed us Chad’s brain. He said the words “cancer” and “brain tumor,” and pointed at the picture. I didn’t fully understand what I was looking at. They showed us his brainstem, and it still didn’t register what all of this meant.

In our minds, the thinking was, “Ok, this is going to be a long road, but we can do this. We’ll get the cancer out. We’ll get the support we need. He’ll recover.” I got the adrenaline rush that comes with rallying to overcome a challenge.

We asked about the treatment plan, the course of action they were going to take, and what we needed to do; but the resident we spoke with kept fiddling around with his words, explaining around the prognosis but never flat-out telling us what this meant.

Finally, I looked at him and said, “Are you telling me that he’s going to die?” He responded, “The average survival rate is nine to twelve months.”

I remember I hit the floor, my legs fell out from under me and I just laid there.

Valerie arrived by that point, and she helped me off the floor and talked me through how I was going to be okay, how we were going to get through this.

I just couldn’t believe it. I was there in the hospital that I’d spent years of my life fundraising to build, praying to God that I’d never be there for the reason I was in there that day, and the thing I feared was happening to me. To my child. To my family.

That night after they admitted us, I went through a lot of emotions. Anger, despondency, grief, shock. Specifically anger because they kept waking Chad up to test him after they’d told us there was nothing that could be done to save my son’s life. The doctors explained that they didn’t say there’s “nothing” they could do to help my son, but that DIPG is very serious and things can happen quickly if we don’t check in neurologically every so often.

Photo by Heidi McClelland

12 | The Brick Magazine

That morning when I woke up, I had a different outlook. Something in me got

triggered while I slept and I said to my husband, “We have to make this big. We need to get everyone we can to pray for him, we need to shed light on this. He needs all the prayers he can get. We need to get the word out about what this is.”

Even though my husband Jason grew up the son of University of Michigan’s football head coach, Lloyd Carr, and has lived a public life, he’s a very private person. I’m more open and he knew this about me. So he just said, “Okay, do what you gotta do.”

How we survived My husband said to me once, “You know, in a strange way we were the perfect family for this to happen to.”

I had the background in medical fundraising, we knew all the doctors, and because of who Chad’s grandfather was, people paid attention. We were really blessed in having the resources to figure out what to do, because you’re kind of on your own with this disease.

I wish we never had to do any of this, but my husband was right. I know there was a reason, and Chad’s life is changing the world. I think about him every day. Not one day goes by without him in my thoughts. And even though people have moved on, I can see that ChadTough (the foundation that came through this journey) keeps growing. There’s so much momentum now, I know he won’t be forgotten.

I’m sad every day. I live, I smile and find joy, slowly. It’s taken me a long time. This was the first Christmas I actually wanted to participate at all. I’d try and do what I could do before for the other boys, but the holidays are so hard. For us, starting in September, there are all these anniversary dates: the date he was diagnosed, his birthday, then Thanksgiving is the weekend he died, and you go to Christmas which was horrible because I never wanted to have Christmas again after we lost him.

I’ll anticipate things around those dates being hard, and then they’re not. But then out of the blue, I’m brought to my knees — by a song, a thought, a word, nothing. When that happens, I’m done for the rest of that day. The bad days come less often now. I feel it every day, but the bring-meto-my-knees days? They come less often now.

Our family dynamic is forever changed. It’s sometimes difficult for our other sons, CJ and Tommy. At a young age, they became “ChadTough’s brother.” And we want to make sure they don’t ever resent the experience, their brother, the foundation. They’re kids, and we’re conscious they need to have their own experiences and their own childhoods too. As they get older and understand the experience more, we want them to feel proud as opposed to resentful, so we’re careful about that with them because they went through a lot.

Photo by Heidi McClelland

Before Chad got sick, I was a busy mom, not paying as much attention to the “little things.” I’m different now. We have two beautiful children we’re focused on and we don’t miss their events. Anytime they have something at school or outside of school, we’re there. It’s not worth missing.

We are grateful because a lot of kids with DIPG are trapped in their bodies for months. They’re cognizant of everything, but they can’t speak or move or communicate.

We prayed that Chad would not have that happen and he didn’t. He went quickly, and we’re grateful for that.

From losing Chad to ChadTough Initially, there was no thought of a foundation or anything like it. I just thought, “We’re going to get people praying for our son.” I felt that’s what needed to happen.

I started a Facebook page that said, “Pray for Chad.” A friend of ours came up with a graphic with his picture and the name “ChadTough.” When I think about how we got from there to where the foundation is now, so much of it was a blur.

There’s nothing worse than this disease. You shouldn’t be told that there’s really nothing that can be done. And what always hits me is that Neil Armstrong’s daughter died of DIPG almost 60 years ago, yet the treatment protocols are basically the same. Not much has changed since then. It blows me away.

I know technology has changed. If someone had brought awareness to this sooner, I can only imagine that there would have been more research done, more tests done, and a greater chance that by the time Chad was diagnosed, more could have been done to help him.

Leukemia initially had a 90% mortality rate within 9-12 months as well. But now, almost 90% survive.

May 2019 | 13

Chemotherapy came out of research about childhood leukemia. At that time, it was a rare pediatric disease where they’d send kids home and say there wasn’t much they could do. When I think about how research about this childhood disease has changed the landscape and conversation around the prognosis and outcomes, not just for leukemia but also for all kinds of cancer, I can see what’s possible by raising awareness and money for DIPG, a so-called “rare disease.”

The Chad Carr Pediatric Brain Tumor Center at the University of Michigan is a collaboration that we are very proud of. We’re a University of Michigan family, and it is important to us that Michigan is a leader in battling this disease. When Chad was diagnosed, however, they weren’t.

When we went through it, we brought the trials to the team and asked, “What about this?” on everything. My husband would spend hours up all night researching.

Now they are, and they’re one of the best places to go in the country for DIPG help. It happened in four years because these brilliant minds have dedicated themselves.

Now children come from all over and there are over 25 researchers working on DIPG research. Before, they saw one to two cases per year and had two people working on this disease. I feel like these families are taken care of now because the University of Michigan is more knowledgeable.

In the process we’ve had to confront the question, “Why support research into a disease that’s so rare when it impacts so few?” Our answer is that if you think of the years of lives lost, the number is huge. Also DIPG is the most difficult brain tumor, and brain tumors kill the most kids after accidents.

People don’t know that. If you figure out the hardest tumor, it can be possible to help the rest. Just like with the development of chemotherapy for leukemia. Of all the children who die annually from cancer, 15% of them die from DIPG. When you look at it like that, it sure doesn’t seem that rare to me.

The Facebook page was how things started to grow. I was so transparent on it. For me, it was about sharing what we were going through so people knew why we needed their prayers. It wasn’t about raising money at that point.

It was a distraction at some points, because I never really left Chad’s side the whole time. I’d have moments where I’d get on my phone, share what was going on, take pictures of him and document what we were going through. For me, it helped to be able to do that, to vent and to document it all and to read the responses of people who cared so deeply for our family. It meant we weren’t all alone in this.

Community is everything I want people to be proud of what this community has done because it has truly helped to build this foundation.

We wouldn’t be where we are without this community.

Volunteers are also a huge part of why we are able to do 14 | The Brick Magazine

what we do. We’re small, but we do big things because of the commitment of our volunteers and community. Our RunTough crew is incredible. September 28th marks the fifth annual RunTough for ChadTough. We celebrate it with cupcakes (as that’s the closest weekend to his birthday).

We’re expecting about 1,500 local runners and a host of virtual runners in every state across the country. The shirts we send to virtual runners play a huge role in how the foundation continues to grow, because the shirts invite a conversation that tells the story. It’s a great community event and it raises over $250,000 each year.

Our annual Champions for Change Gala takes hundreds of volunteers and a very committed staff to pull off. We’d never be where we are without those people volunteering their time. It takes a lot of money to do these things, and if we have more volunteers, then more of the money goes to research. That’s my bottom line. Last year, we were able to raise $1.2M at the gala.

Outside of our official events, over $1.5 million dollars have been raised through third-party events; this includes everything from people hosting a golf outing to a lemonade stand in their front yard. People are doing their part to help Chad to change the world. This is incredible!

There are so many businesses that also contribute philanthropically, including our ChadTough Partners, who are involved in every event we do and also support our administrative expenses. Alro Steel, Michigan Fuels, The Jones Family Foundation, The M Den, and Red Effect Infrared Fitness are true partners in our mission to cure this disease.

One of our huge wins in this area has also been the way Comcast Spotlight has donated public service announcement slots for the ChadTough commercials seen throughout the state. Latcha and Associates has been incredible in donating their services to produce the spots, and Comcast airs them without charging us a dime. The awareness that spreads through these donations is amazing!

It’s been four years, and we’ve raised $7.5M for DIPG research. In the fundraising world, this is a lot of money, and especially for DIPG which is so underfunded.

It’s a lot of work, but it’s so worth it. We have a great time while we’re doing it. We know what we’re doing is right because of how things have come together without a lot of arm-twisting and convincing. People have simply said, “We want to help you.” That’s how we knew we’re doing God’s work, and what we are supposed to be doing with our lives.

There are days where it’s just really hard. But the way we look at it is: the time we spend on the foundation is Chad’s legacy, and it’s time we would have spent with him if he were here. I’d give anything to have him back. I know that’s not possible, so I guess this is the next best thing.

It’s helped me to not crawl into a hole.

Chad Carr, with his mother Tammi, lost his battle with DIPG at the age of 5.

Imagine never holding your child again.

This is reality for parents whose child is diagnosed with Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG) — an inoperable pediatric brain tumor that forms in the brain stem. As of today, DIPG has a 0% survival rate. With your help, we can change this by funding research and spreading awareness.

If we fight as hard as these kids, we will find a cure.

What can one person do? Find out at ChadTough.org.

TheChadTough community support has been amazing. We couldn’t Brick Ad_halfpg.indd 1 have done this without them. I don’t know how people do it without that. The Ann Arbor community can be proud of this foundation.

If you’d like to get involved with ChadTough, you can find ways to contribute and donate on their website, www.chadtough.org. The annual RunTough for ChadTough race includes 200 volunteers, and running locally is a great way to spread the word.

One of the most inspiring components of our interview with Tammi Carr is the way she so clearly felt all of the loss and yet never lost her faith. She allowed what was devastating to her to become life-giving to so many others by sharing her experience. Through her sharing, she allowed a community to come together and make a difference where one was needed most.

Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area. When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.

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May 2019 | 15

Finding Your Way Out of a Rut

by Gail Barker,

B.A., C.P.C.C. Photo by Yury Orlov

“The difference between a rut and a grave is simply a matter of depth.”

I

wish I could remember where I first heard this quote, or to whom I should attribute it. I think it’s brilliant and it always makes me chuckle a bit (sometimes, the chuckle is more of a snort of laughter — either way, it brings a smile to my face).

The fact is, the feeling of “being in a rut” is something we all experience from time to time. Things start off innocuously enough; we settle into a familiar routine.

The familiarity feels good. We find ourselves enjoying the predictable nature of our world and things are generally easy to work with. So we embrace our routine as something that serves us well.

The challenge is that at some point, what started out as familiar and predictable becomes monotonous and onerous. It’s no longer simply a routine; it’s not just a comfortable rhythm. It’s a rut. Ruts can keep us stuck, and being stuck is never a good thing.

What exactly is a rut? In the context of living life, a rut is any routine or habit that’s getting in the way of you living

16 | The Brick Magazine

fully, and optimally. Examples of ruts can be as simple as taking the same route to work every day, eating the same foods for particular meals or at specific restaurants, or getting caught in the habit of spending too much time on social media. If you ponder your daily life, I’m sure you can think of something in your life that feels as though it could be teetering on the edge of a rut.

On the surface, ruts seem like they’re not a bad thing. I mean, is it really so bad if you drive the same route to work each day? Or if you eat the exact same meal for breakfast?

Or if you hang out on your favorite social media platform for an hour each morning? These sorts of routines and choices can make life so simple and comfortable, right?

Well, here’s the question I would invite you to consider in response: what’s the impact of your “routine” on your level of engagement in your life? If your routine causes you to numb out in any way (think about driving to work and not really knowing if you ran through that stop sign or not) or if life feels dull, then I would suggest that your familiar routine is not serving you as well as you might think.

Instead, you’re likely headed towards being in a rut.

So how do you break out of an ill-serving pattern? How do you ensure that you don’t keep traveling in a rut — any rut — to the point that you are in so deep it may as well be a grave? Follow these simple steps: •

Get comfortable with discomfort. As you work to change things up, things might seem hard after the initial excitement. You might be tempted to go back to the familiar. This is normal. As human beings, we like the familiar — but remember, this particular “familiar” thing you’re working to change is something you’re doing in order to feel better. It’s about infusing your life with a greater sense of fulfillment. So expect and embrace the discomfort — and don’t let it push you back to what you once knew.

Make a commitment. It’s not enough that you WANT to make a change; you have to actually commit to the effort involved. Often, it’s best to make the commitment in the presence of someone else; this way you don’t let yourself off the hook. As human beings we do best when we hold ourselves accountable. Which brings us to the next step...

•

Bonus: Cut yourself some slack. Don’t expect that you will immediately get yourself out of a rut permanently. Getting into the rut took some time; so give yourself permission to take time getting out of it.

Be okay with the occasional setback. Tackle whatever task you’ve set for yourself consistently, and don’t let slip-ups derail you.

Find an accountability partner. As much as we like to think that we can be accountable to ourselves, being accountable to someone else can often serve us better. It’s an incentive, of sorts, a motivation. And it’s very helpful to know that someone else has got your back. In other words, your accountability partner is someone who will champion you and cheer you on without shaming you (shame isn’t particularly helpful when it comes to facilitating long-term change).

It’s important to remember that any rut isn’t the problem in and of itself. However, if you don’t notice it and change it, you will not experience your life as fully as possible. You will not succeed to the degree that you want.

•

Pay attention. I know, this seems like a no-brainer.

The trap of a routine, however, is that you don’t have to pay attention. When you are in a routine so deep that you’re just engaging in your tasks by rote, the fact is you won’t notice any potential negative impact of your routines on your life. When you pay attention — to how you’re feeling, to what you’re accomplishing (or not), to results — it’s easier to notice when you’ve settled into a stuck space. When you’re feeling stuck, it’s time to shake things up, and make a change.

•

•

•

prominent place to remind you of what you’re aiming for. Structures can be an invaluable support when you’re trying to make a change.

Get clear on the result you’re trying to achieve.

If you’re talking about losing weight or changing eating habits, don’t just settle on a specific number to see on the scale. Dig deeper, and ask yourself, what is the intended impact you’re going for by making this change? What will be different for you, in your life, as you change things up? Will you have a greater sense of well-being? More energy? Better sleep? The more clarity you have on this, the easier it will be for you to change your habit, whatever it is, and the easier it will be for you to recognize when you’ve truly achieved what you want. The gauge won’t simply be the number on the scale (which is a great visual), but the actual quality of the life you’re living.

Bottom line: everyone gets into a rut from time to time, both personally and professionally. Realizing you’re in a rut, however, doesn’t have to mean that you’re stuck forever.

You can get out. Set yourself the objective of creating a new routine, something that will increase your level of fulfillment. Do this knowing that when you get out of your rut, whatever it is, you’ll get your groove back. And finding your groove is always where it’s at.

Gail Barker is a Certified Professional CoActive Coach. She specializes in supporting leaders to lead powerfully and meaningfully.

Her company, Stellar Coaching & Consulting, was established in 2013, and through that platform she has supported hundreds of leaders in elevating their leadership game. A few of the additional hats she wears professionally are author, speaker, and radio show host. Personally, she is deeply committed to her family, loves to read, and finds deep restoration when walking along the beach (even in the winter).

Website: www.stellarcc.com

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Create a structure to support you. Use a chart to keep track of your success, or place a note in a

Facebook: www.facebook.com/stellarcc Twitter: stellar7

May 2019 | 17

Wedding Season Wardrobe: What to Wear

by Angela Harrison

Photo by Melody Jacob 18 | The Brick Magazine

Spring not only brings the beginnings of sunshine and nice weather, it also starts off the beginning of “wedding season.” Spring weddings turn to summer weddings, which turn to early fall weddings, and it can all be a lot to navigate. With so many destinations, locations, weather complications, and just new, modern trends in formal events — dressing for a wedding can be tricky. Will it rain? Am I going to sweat through my entire bra and dress? Does black tie mean I can only wear black? There are so many options (and more than just dresses!) for your weddings this season; we’re breaking down what to wear and where to wear it.

Outdoor Garden Wedding

Rustic Farmhouse Wedding

Everyone loves the idea of an outdoor wedding, but sometimes weather can be unpredictable. Some great ways to preserve your look through hot and steamy temps would be to keep your fabrics lightweight or natural, wear a print to camouflage any sweat transfer, and choose flowy/non-constricting silhouettes. Dark florals, chiffon, and layered lace fabrics are all great options for staying cool during warm events. Wide-leg jumpsuits, sleeveless dresses, and shorter hemlines will keep you from feeling constricted in your evening wear as well.

Outdoor weddings create the perfect backdrop for pops of color, so don’t shy away from poppy reds, bright florals, and bold details.

Bohemian, rustic weddings have become a huge trend and have also changed the way we think of traditional wedding guest attire. These whimsical, romantic weddings have a more relaxed feel, drifting away from the tidy world of French twists and duchess satin. If you find yourself a guest of this type of wedding, feel free to change up your usual wedding go-to looks! Try something gauzy and and breezy, like layered chiffon or soft tulle. Complementary colors to an event like this would be dusty pastels and earth tonesthink blush, sage green, gray, lavender, and rust colors. Small, delicate floral prints are great, too. You really can’t go wrong when it comes to shape; flowing jumpsuits are great, midi length dresses, anything that feels light, airy, and romantic.

May 2019 | 19

Black Tie (Optional) Wedding Formal weddings have evolved from the days of fur stoles and evening gloves, and knowing how formal to go in your look can be tricky. It is a misconception that black tie means black ball gowns only. The dress code “black tie” first applied to menswear only (yawn), meaning black tuxedo or white dinner jacket with literal black bow tie. In today’s time, “black tie” has transitioned into “black tie optional,” meaning the families of the couple will be formally dressed, as well as a reflection of the venue and atmosphere.

Full-length gowns are not a necessity in the spring and summer months, considering the seasons. And same goes for color — no need to stick to just black. Black tie is anything that would be seen on a red carpet — hi-lo hems, midilength, floor-length, blinged out, rich in color, flowing and elegant. An easy way to make lighter colors like blush, nude, and golds feel dressed up is making sure there’s an element of embellishment.

That can be all-over or partial sequin and beading, or a crystalized belt or brooch — something to make it feel truly “formal evening.” If you don’t love the idea of a full gown, try a full-length column dress. By keeping the silhouette close and skimming the body, you still achieve a devastatingly chic formal look, without feeling princess-y or poofy.

20 | The Brick Magazine

Beachside Wedding

Modern/Contemporary Wedding Every wedding season has the “modern couple,” the couple that always has the coolest home décor and keeps up with the latest trends in all things. This wedding could take place at the hottest new hotel or a stripped down warehouse filled with geometric finishes and succulents. This is the wedding you want to look cool at — no traditional soft or delicate options. Modern weddings are great to shop for because you can be almost certain you’ll wear the dress again. With contemporary style comes dark colors, clean lines, and classic cocktail attire. Dress outside the box and try a silver sequined jumpsuit — something entirely evening in fabric, yet modern in construction. A classic black sheath dress is the perfect starting point if you’re not sure where to begin. Find something with modern detail, like a mesh neckline, or unexpected design detail like fringe. Small style adjustments to classics are the easiest way to feel fresh, but not overly trendy.

Hooray, you’ve been invited to a destination wedding (and mini vacay)! Destination weddings traditionally take place somewhere with a body of water, whether it be the beaches of Mexico or one of the Great Lakes. You can always bet the backdrop will be gorgeous. Beachside weddings call for flowing fabrics, color, prints, and anything suitable for sunshine. A gorgeous chiffon scarf print maxi dress with gilded strappy sandals would look fab, as well as a crocheted lace caftan or wrap dress. Keeping cool while feeling festive and elegant is the goal. Jumpsuits and separates, like satin tanks and full skirts, are great options too. Anything that’s easy to pack, won’t wrinkle terribly, and something you just can’t wait to wear.

As the invitations flood in this season, try to identify what type of wedding you’re attending; the rest is easy. The stores will be filling up with the latest styles, and you’re now completely ready to shop with confidence in what to wear to your upcoming events. With so many beautiful choices, make sure you’re comfortable, able to keep cool in your fabric choices, and most importantly, make sure there’s room for cocktails, cake, and killer dance moves!

Angie Harrison received her BS degree in fashion merchandising from Western Michigan University. After merchandising for a large retailer, she went on to start Angela Harrison Style: a personal, print, and film wardrobe styling service. Her experience has led her to style wardrobe on local and national TV commercials as well as freelance in visual merchandising for luxury retailers.

May 2019 | 21

Composting the Stale Mind

by Morella Devost, EdM, MA

Photo by Suhyeon Choi 22 | The Brick Magazine

O

ne of the hardests things to do in life is to get a fresh perspective. No matter how openminded weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to be, the odds are stacked against our ability to change points of view.

Why? Because the unique filter with which we each see the world is largely unconscious to us, and because our brains excel at picking out data from the environment that supports what we already believe; the rest remains invisible to us.

Neuroscientists and psychologists have estimated that only around 5% of the brainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s function is engaged in conscious awareness. The remaining 95% is busy with tending to bodily functions, running automatic subconscious behaviors (like dressing and eating), unconscious information processing (comparing the present moment with experiences from the past), and processing many thousands of bits of information that our nervous systems perceive at any given moment.

The fact that the mind is mostly unconscious is both a good thing and a bad thing. On the positive side, it makes us very efficient at a great number of tasks that can be performed without consciously thinking about them once we learn them â&#x20AC;&#x201D; like tying your shoes, typing, or driving. On the negative side, our subconscious mind makes us less flexible in our views and less capable of responding in ways that are different from the past.

Enter the Reticular Activating System (RAS), a network of nerve pathways in the brainstem that connect the brain to the spinal cord. The role of your RAS is to filter the hundreds of thousands of stimuli you receive every living moment, and to bring up to your awareness only the bits of information that are either relevant to what you are consciously engaged with, necessary for your survival (i.e. a tree is about to fall on you), OR that support existing beliefs and past experiences.

May 2019 | 23

For example, the work of your RAS is what allows you to read a book at a busy airport. Your conscious mind can focus on the story you’re reading while you tune-out almost everything else.

But if a friend spots you at the gate and calls your name, you lift your head. Your RAS is aware of everything at all times, but 95% of the stimuli are irrelevant to the task at hand and therefore remain unconscious. Only the bits of information that are relevant to you are fed to the frontal cortex: the book and the sound of your name.

Another example is the “yellow VW Bug” phenomenon. Let’s say that one day you decide to buy a new car. You go to a used car lot, fall in love with a bright yellow VW Bug, and you buy it on the spot. No sooner have you driven your new car off the lot that you start seeing all of the other yellow VW Bugs on the street! Where did they all come from?

That’s your RAS at work. They were always there, you just never noticed them before because they got filtered out. Now that your new car is in your conscious awareness, you start spotting all of the other cars just like yours.

Now, because your RAS only feeds your conscious mind the bits of information that confirm what you already believe or are conscious of, your way of thinking ends up becoming quite rigid and stale. In other words, you perceive the world around you through a filter that mostly proves you right.

Neither you nor I perceive the world as it is. We perceive it as we are.

Photo by Kal Visuals

24 | The Brick Magazine

Your childhood and life experiences shaped all of your beliefs, your interpretations of the world and of the people around you. Over the course of your life, your RAS has consistently fed your conscious mind the bits of

information that support and strengthen those beliefs.

By this point, I hope you can start to see how the efficiency of your RAS can get you in all kinds of trouble.

It can cause you to perpetuate a life-long argument with your spouse, it can fuel your interpretations of your kids’ temperaments, and it can get you into really acrimonious political debates on Facebook. Your RAS strengthens your point of view.

In politics and difficult relationships especially, people will very quickly see the data that proves them right, and therefore dig their heels in. They fail to see the data that proves the other side might also be right.

Thinking “outside the box” to get a fresh perspective is not an automatic, natural thing for us. It requires deliberate intent, practice, and most importantly, a willingness to be proven wrong, which will bruise the ego. But what we discover from our willingness to be wrong is that it leads to greater connection and mutual understanding, as well as the possibility of discovering a new solution to a problem.

How can we exercise the muscle of our subconscious mind and RAS to open up to fresh perspectives?

As a hypnotherapist and counselor, I can tell you that open-ended questions are powerful. They are like a mental rawhide to throw at the bulldog of your subconscious mind.

Throw an open-ended question out into the field of your awareness and then, instead of trying to find a logical answer, let your subconscious mind start gnawing at it in the background. You’ll be surprised by an insight out of nowhere, and sometimes you’ll experience an instantaneous shift in perspective.

You will have unleashed the power of your RAS, can access far more information than your conscious mind can ever grasp. So if you release a question into the void, your RAS will start pulling information into your consciousness to answer it.

What types of questions? Here are some ideas: How can I start thinking differently about this? How can I see this from a different perspective? What qualities or valid points in the other person’s perspective am I failing to see?

Notice that if your opinions about certain things are very

fixed (i.e. politics, your terrible boss, your ex-husband), you might be unwilling to ask these questions. You might look at the question and instantly think, “But I’m right about this!” If so, I entreat you, my friend. Being hesitant to ask these questions is a good sign your mental box is getting quite rigid.

Here are some other questions: What if there’s evidence out there that proves me wrong? What if there’s a wiser perspective on this? What would be a more elevated way to view and solve this issue?

And if you’re ready for some pro-level questions, you can open the inquiry into what your points of view reveal about your subconscious vulnerabilities: What is this situation telling me about my fears? What emotions are getting triggered? What do these feelings reveal about what I believe? Where did I get that belief?

All of these questions can ignite a magical sort of mental compost. They help us turn our stale, repetitive nature into fertile soil, rich with the wisdom of the past but now ready to give birth to the seeds of new ideas, new beliefs, and a new way of experiencing the world. Rather than endlessly perpetuating a limited, self-validating existence, we churn our life into an infinite field of possibilities — from dating, to health and healing, to career pathways, to political truths.

In our current political reality, at the dawn of a new presidential campaign that stands to be as ugly and polarized as ever, it behooves us to turn our mental compost; to stretch into the aspiration of openmindedness and a fresh way of engaging with each other. We owe it to our planet, our countries, and ourselves. Otherwise, we risk losing our sanity, our health, and fueling an already combustible, stale political landscape.

Morella Devost facilitates profound transformation for people who want to thrive in every aspect of life. After receiving two masters degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she also became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Holistic Health Coach. Morella is a Venezuelan-Vermonter who works with people all over the world from her beautiful office in Burlington, Vermont. thrivewithmorella.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella

May 2019 | 25

A Fresh Take on Nurturing Mom this Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day and Every Day:

A Guide for Every Woman

by Alison Corey

Photo by Roberto Nickson 26 | The Brick Magazine

I

t was a warm and glowing May afternoon in the late 1980s. I was wearing my jelly sandals and a rainbow romper. I danced across the sidewalk to our neighbors’ front yard. I grabbed a handful of hyacinths begging to be picked at the edge of their yard, and quickly dashed back to my house. Bursting through the door, I retrieved the card I made in school a few days earlier from my backpack, and found my mother in the kitchen washing the dishes from breakfast. It was similar to many Sunday mornings, only this Sunday morning was Mother’s Day.

I have been through many of these stages myself. When my mother passed many years ago, Mother’s Day was a reminder that she was gone, and always brought me back to that memory of Mother’s Day gone awry from so many years ago.

I proudly presented my mother with my token of love and appreciation. She stopped, dried her hands, and sat down at the kitchen table to read my card and admire the flowers she knew I had gotten from the neighbors’ flower garden.

Her smile was warm, her laugh was light and full, and she pulled me close for an embrace. There was no place in the world I felt more safe than in her warm embrace.

Now, I am the mother to two beautiful boys, and this day carries on like so many other days of the year as I take care of the needs and desires of others, just like my mother did those many years ago.

At that moment, my younger brother came into the room. Diverting attention away from me, he grabbed the card from the table, and ripped it into pieces. My heart sank into my chest, in part because my token of love and appreciation was ruined, but also because I knew this wasn’t the way my mother hoped Mother’s Day was going to play out. Like every other day of the year, my mother was taking care of the housework and dealing with challenging parenting situations.

My mother was the definition of nurture. She took care of us kids, worked as a teacher, and was the primary breadwinner in our home. She prepared all the meals, did the majority of the housework, and kept our home humming. The challenge was that she did all of this to the detriment of her own health. Taking care of others didn’t leave much room to take care of herself. As a result, she suffered her first heart attack at age 44 and a second one that took her life at 64.

Mother’s Day brings a set of mixed emotions for me, as I know it does for many other women. It triggers memories of complicated relationships we have with our own mothers, and our perception of motherhood in general.

Some of us have lost mothers, lost children, are estranged from loved ones, or are plagued with a deep sadness as we struggle to conceive.

A few years down the line, Mother’s Day was a reminder of how I was not yet a mother, going through infertility challenges, and being met with heart-breaking disappointment that this holiday was not meant for me as a motherless daughter, and a childless woman.

Whether you are a mother, have a mother, lost a mother, desire to be a mother, have a terrible relationship with your mother, or feel that this holiday leaves you on the outskirts of celebration, we as women can take this opportunity to mother ourselves by providing much needed nurture and love that no one else has the ability to fulfill.

This Mother’s Day, remember to take care of yourself so that you can care for others.

As mothers and women, we often put our needs, our desires, even our health to the side as we take care of what needs to get done in the immediate moment.

Putting off time to read that book we’ve been hearing about, take that fitness class, practice yoga, or get into a meditation practice because we tell ourselves we simply don’t have time. We let ourselves off the hook, don’t commit to our own needs, and give everything we have to others.

When Mother’s Day rolls around we might allow our family to take care of us with breakfast in bed, brunch, or maybe a little peace and quiet.

While all of these kind gestures are appreciated, there is a bigger piece that is missing. As mothers and women taking care of the people in our lives, a one-day reprieve from reality isn’t going to recharge our battery for an entire year until the next Mother’s Day rolls around.

May 2019 | 27

Instead, it is important for us to take it upon ourselves to recharge our own battery every day with a daily self-care practice. We in essence become our own nurturing mothers using a toolkit of practices that help us feel loved and whole within the frazzled and chaotic moments of life.

This does not mean that we take long lavender-scented baths or visit the spa on the daily for a massage or pedicure. While these practices are nice, they are expensive, time-consuming, and do not fit in our active and full daily lives. They are also an escape from reality, and while an escape is nice once in a while, it does not offer you the tools to cope with reality once you get back to it.

A daily set of self-care tools will bring you more happiness and joy in your life than a one-day reprieve from your daily responsibilities. Finding a meaningful practice that nurtures you is the anecdote for the chaos.

What does daily self-care look like for a busy woman? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s developing a practice that allows you to cultivate presence, and compassion for yourself, your children, and those you love in your circle. It is welcoming in moments of quiet, solitude, meditation, or prayer.

You can create your own signature self-care ritual that speaks to you. Here are some ideas you can begin to incorporate into your daily life:

Photo by Jon Flobrant

28 | The Brick Magazine

â&#x20AC;˘

Start a gratitude journal

â&#x20AC;˘

Write your thoughts and reflections from the day

Photo by Clarke Sanders

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Take 10 minutes of silent reflection

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Try a guided meditation or silent meditation

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Throughout the day, take a few minutes to practice deep and purposeful breath-work

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Wake with 15 minutes of morning yoga or close your day with a short yoga practice

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Read something enjoyable: a magazine, a book, a favorite blog

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Watch the sunrise or sunset

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Get outside

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Take a walk and listen to nature

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Dig in the dirt, work in the garden

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Dance, sing, smile, and laugh

There are numerous ways you can incorporate a nurturing practice to care for yourself daily. There is not a perfect

recipe; this is about finding what speaks to you, and continuing to practice those rituals day after day. As a result, you will develop your own personal oasis that fits seamlessly into your daily reality. Less judgement and more compassion for yourself and others will give you this spring’s fresh start to carry on, even when life seems to be moving full-speed ahead.

Alison Corey is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, writer, yoga teacher, wife, and mother to two energetic boys. Alison is passionate about plantbased nutrition, meditation, and nurturing sustainable self-care practices for mothers.

In her Healthy Happy Mama Program she helps women embrace the imperfectly perfect mama life, overcome overwhelm, and transform their physical and emotional health so they can feel like themselves again. First session is FREE. You can learn more about her work at www.trimmama.com. www.facebook.com/trimmama/

May 2019 | 29

The Rhythm of Spring: A Cook’s Indulgence

by Jillian Fraioli Photo by Rachael Gorjestani

T

here are few foods that evoke the turning of winter to spring to me like the long, furry packets of English peas and fava beans — sitting there in the openair market, waiting in the warming air to be gathered into the next cook’s hands.

I tend to anthropomorphize my food. So when I’m wandering around in a daze, gazing at all the abundance that has made its way through winter, I see these pods and stalks in my mind’s eye telling me their stories about the verdant and delicious treasures buried inside.

Like us, these beautiful vegetables of spring have gone dormant, turned inward, survived frost and cold and wind and snow and rain, only to show back up at our markets — almost with a cheeky petulance — faces turned toward the sun, ready for a new season.

While late-winter cooking is about banging on with comfort foods, incorporating more green veggies as they become available, and slowly moving away from oven meals to the grill, May is about abandoning as many cooking processes I can, and slowly, reverently indulging myself by working with what nature has begun to provide, like a meditation on springtime.

30 | The Brick Magazine

These weekend kitchen activities these days are long — cleaning baby artichokes, shelling peas or fava beans, peeling asparagus, stewing rhubarb, baking bread — they will bite a good few hours out of your day. But what could be better than time with your own thoughts, or a good friend working alongside you, waxing poetic about projects, life, cycles, seasons, and love?

This is what I’m doing today: slowing down to recall those first times I touched a fava bean pod. Felt the silky inside.

Popped the oblong and odd kidney-shaped orbs out of their nests. Learned to gently mash them in a mortar with delicate spring mint, garlic, anchovy, olive oil. The rhythm of shelling fava is smooth, and mimics the rhythm of the season change. Neither quick, nor stagnant. Reminding me that this is how it goes: change and growth, always coming out of needed hibernation and reflection.

And later, our friends will gather together to enjoy an alfresco feast with us. A loaf of fresh sourdough is coming out of the oven. My kitchen sous chef is making lemon spiked ricotta and bagna cauda, the perfect dips to showcase our fresh market finds. We will wait a bit, pour a sharp Pinot Grigio while thinly slicing up peppers, fennel, radish, asparagus, green onion. Then we’ll come together under the stars, in ceremony, and thank them in awe over

how very, very incredible it is we have found ourselves amidst another spring, fresh, whole, and vibrant.

Fava Bean “Pesto” •

1 lb. Fava beans, double-shelled or English peas, shelled

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1/8 cup gently torn spring mint leaves (about 20; more can be added to taste)

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1 medium garlic clove

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2 TBSP Parmesan

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2 TBSP Pecorino Romano

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6 TBSP olive oil

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1/2 an anchovy (optional)

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1 TSP lemon zest

Prep: Fava beans have to be “double-shelled.” To do this, first open the hearty pods at one end, using the string to “unzip” the side with the curve. Then, running your finger down the furry inside, pop out each fava. You’ll see there’s a little jacket on each one. After peeling, get 4 quarts of salty-like-the-ocean water (about 2 TBSP salt: 4q water) going on the stove, and blanch the fava beans for one minute. Immediately plunge them into an ice bath, making them easier to peel and keeping them green. Using the tip of a paring knife, break through the shell at the “dip” or “dimple” of the fava bean, peeling back the top, and using your holding thumb and finger to pop them out of the rest of their jacket. Repeat with each bean.

For peas: after shelling, follow the blanching process above.

Mortar and Pestle: Crush the garlic and half of the anchovy in the mortar until it’s a creamy paste. Add in the favas in batches, with a little coarse salt (a pinch or two will help with the emulsion), and gently mash until it becomes a chunky mess, incorporating the “cream” of the garlic and anchovy. You’re looking for more like a smashed avocado consistency, not a smooth paste. Add in the torn mint leaves and mash a few more times to work it in. Remove the mixture to the serving bowl, or keep in the pestle to serve. Fold in the cheese and the lemon zest using a spatula or spoon, and then gradually add the olive oil, until the fava mix loosens up to a spreadable paste.

Food Processor: Add fava beans, mashed garlic, half the anchovy, and cheese

in the base of the food processor and pulse — like two to three seconds each — about six or seven times. You do not want make the puree smooth, you are going for a “chunky” pesto here! Add the torn mint leaves and pulse one or two more times. Remove from the processor to serving bowl.

BOTH: To finish, slowly drizzle in the olive oil while stirring with a spoon, until the fava mix loosens up to a spreadable paste.

You may only use 4 TBSP of the olive oil; it will depend on the size of your fava or peas. Adjust for taste: salt, pepper, and mint, add as needed. Sometimes a slash of lemon will also be welcome, to perk up the lemon zest.

Serve with fresh crusty bread, or big wide crackers where people can spread generously, and greens, like a big pile of pea shoots or fresh spring arugula.

Bagna Cauda, aka “Hot Bath”

Based on the recipe by Marcella Hazan The mixture of this olive oil, anchovy, and garlic is the perfect “dip” for a big spread of veg: asparagus, green onions, radish, radicchio, fennel, early peppers, raw Jerusalem artichokes, steamed baby new potatoes — all the bounty you’ll find at your spring farmer’s market.

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3/4 cup olive oil

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6 garlic cloves, very finely chopped, or mashed with your mortar and pestle

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12 anchovy fillets (I prefer the Spanish variety; be still my Italian heart — they’re white, mellow, and I feel more suited to a crowd. They are called “boquerones”)

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4 TBSP (1/2 stick) unsalted butter (do not substitute salted butter)

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About 8 cups trimmed, cut-up vegetables (as above)

In a small saucepan over medium, combine the olive oil and butter. Once the butter begins to foam, add the garlic and anchovies, and turn the heat down to low. Continue to cook, mashing the anchovies with the back of a wooden spoon, until broken up and beginning to emulsify (come together), about five minutes. Remove from the heat, serve immediately. You may keep it warm over in a fondue pot, but we don’t mind this at room temperature. If it gets too cold, and begins to solidify, place the bowl in some hot water and whisk for a few minutes.

Jillian cooks daily and bakes bread every weekend, foraging from the fresh markets and forests of the Pacific Northwest. Jillian fell in love with cooking early in life, before she could even reach the stove, alongside her Grandma Fraioli. Jillian has been on staff at restaurants such as Emeril’s Fish House in Las Vegas, NV (as Pastry Chef), and Serafina and Tango in Seattle, WA. While she may have ended her career in restaurants many lives ago, her undying passion for feeding her family and friends will be her continued legacy. You may find her, along with her cats, bread loaves, and copious amounts of knitting, if that’s your jam, on Instagram @yarnologie

May 2019 | 31

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

Am I Light or Am I Lite?

by Liz Crowe Photo by Jonas Jacobsson

32 | The Brick Magazine

W

elcome to the almost-but-not-quitemonthly Booze 101. We’ve talked hangovers. I’ve preached on Old Fashioneds. We’ve created your next beer-and-food pairing dinner party. It’s time to talk about a subject near and dear to me…beer. To be more specific: the spectrum of beers. From fun-slash-whacky to low alcohol-slash-light.

First, I’ll address the middle of the spectrum, wherein resides your basic IPAs, stouts, ambers, lagers, etc. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s start at the start of things. Beers break down into one of two basic categories: lagers and ales. The difference between them is one ingredient: the yeast. Let’s discuss what it is, how it’s used, and what happens to the liquid during and after fermentation.

To make beer, you start with a “wort,” which is a sugar water created when the malt of choice is cooked in hot water; then various flavorings like hops are added to it.

This is a key part of beer making, but I’m keeping with the theme of what happens to turn that wort into an ale or a lager, so bear with me.

That wort has a specific type and level of sugar per a recipe that will be consumed by the yeast to create alcohol and a bit of carbonation. At this point, in almost every case, one of two types of yeast will be added. If the brewer uses Saccharomyces cerevisiae, that beer will become an ale. If s/he uses Saccharomyces pastorianus, the result will be lager.

For the record, Saccharomyces cerevisiae (ale yeast) is also bread yeast. It’s a fairly straightforward organism that’s incapable of doing its fermentation job effectively in cold temperatures. There are other distinctions, but they’re boring for our purposes. Saccharomyces pastorianus (lager yeast) is a bit more complex and prefers cold temperatures.

The yeasts work on completely different schedules.

Ales don’t take nearly as long as lagers to ferment. The difference is that in most cases, the taste experience you have with an ale involves actually tasting the yeast. Lagers finish “clean,” which means your experience is more direct with the early ingredients: the malt and hops and water used to craft the wort. Lagers are actually harder to craft

properly because of this since the clean yeast leaves little behind to disguise any brewing errors.

Okay, enough of that. But knowing that is important and something that, once you understand it, will change the way you order and taste your beers the next time you’re at your favorite beer bar. My “local” is Rappourt Ann Arbor, but we’ll talk more about local beer bars another time.

Let’s talk whacky, shall we?

The most recent-slash-trendy one is something called Saturday Morning IPA (an ale), brewed by Smartmouth Brewing in Virginia. It is, they claim, “magically ridiculous” and is brewed with toasted marshmallows and the little marshmallow candies in Lucky Charms cereal. These ingredients are used at the “wort” stage, or prior to that fermentation thing we talked about above. Unfortunately, if you were truly jonesing for this, you’re out of luck as they’ve run out, thanks to a savvy viral campaign.

In the name of bizarre-o ingredients, let’s talk about Ghost Face Killah, currently on tap at Twisted Pine Brewing in Boulder, Colorado. It has ghost pepper, serrano, jalapeño, habanero, Fresno, and Anaheim peppers included in its mix. And for those of you worried about it, it also has the actual Ghost Face Killah of Wu-Tang Clan’s blessing.

If you’re into the whole “sweetmeats” thing, you should try Wynkoop Brewpub’s (Denver, Colorado) Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout. It contains sliced and roasted bull testicles, and according to the brewery, has a “meaty, savory” flavor.

Um. Okay. I’ll admit, I have it on my Bucket List of Weirdness to try someday.

Here in Michigan, the brewer of choice for weird and successful is Short’s Brewing Company in Bellaire, near Traverse City. I asked sales director (and friend of mine) Pauline Prueter what she’d recommend if one were seeking something unique from Short’s.

“Bloody beer is probably one of the best for something like this. It isn’t distributed often, but we do it at the pub and it was one that put Joe (Short) on the map for the imperial beer series in 2007 in which it was featured.

May 2019 | 33

I love this one because it takes the bloody beer with a side car and flips it. It is also 100% real ingredients. We don’t even use bloody mix. We hand blend all the original ingredients such as tomatoes, horseradish, etc.”

Her second recommendation is the Spruce Pilsner. It combines traditional colonial brewing (using spruce instead of hops) with modern brewing techniques.

“Also, every year the Short’s staff gets together and handcuts the spruce tips. Joe checks on them on a daily basis and then the day he feels they are the ripest, he calls staff to join him and pick pounds and pounds. This beer doesn’t just have a little spruce taste, it has a TON. It’s a very dividing beer — you love it or hate it, but it’s a great nod to our brewing history and also the Short’s personality of tasking risk and having fun. We don’t make beer to be weird, we make unique beers because Joe had a flavor vision that was unlike anyone else in the brewing world and he had a talent for blending ingredients and making it work.”

And let me tell you, the road trip you have to make up to Traverse City is worth it just to get a load of their beer board!

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If Bloody Mary beer or spruce tips aren’t your bag, then you might take a trip to Marshall and check out what Dark Horse is up to. I’ll admit this brewery is one of my personal favorites for making out-there brews consistently and delicious, even if some are only available part of the year. Here are a few I’d recommend trying.

Scary Jesus Rockstar is my go-to at their pub if it’s on tap (it’s also bottled). It’s a collaboration brew, which means it’s made with a brewer from somewhere else, in this case Chef Cleetus Friedman of Chicago’s Fountainhead.

It’s called an Apricot Chamomile Pale Ale. It’s unique and delish. Trust me.

As an only slightly reformed hop-head — meaning I tend to prefer beers that are hoppier, or more bitter than the maltier or sweeter options — I adore their “Smells Like a Safety Meeting IPA.” It’s one of the old-school (read: not “juicy” or “hazy”) style double-hopped IPA, especially aromatic and reminiscent of one of the hop plant’s near relatives. Humulus (hops) and Cannabis (marijuana) are both in the family Cannabinaceae. You can figure out the rest. This beer used to be called “Smells Like (Something Else),” but I think we can all agree this the current name is much more creative.

Turning away from the dank and weird — I won’t say “funky” because that’s a whole other topic we will chat about in a later column — I’d like to focus on the other end of the spectrum.

One that’s becoming more popular (see: last column’s Hamm’s rant discussion), perhaps in response to the high-gravity beer trend having low ABV options. Sometimes called “lawn-mower beers” or just plain old “brewskis” (my personal fav), these are beers for summer — quaffable, lighter, session-able. Most of them are lagers (see above: they’re cleaner finishing by their definition and fermentation chemistry. You don’t — or shouldn’t — taste any yeast or fruit unless fruit is added to it).

I saw a new list (Five Low ABV Full Flavor Beers) that has me adding to my Bucket List of Lite. It includes options from one of my favorite Southern U.S. Breweries — Sweetwater in Atlanta. Their Guide Beer is a 4% lager that, knowing what I know about their general quality standard, I can’t wait to try. What really caught my eye on this list was the addition of Solid Gold from our very own Founders Brewing in Grand Rapids. I swear by this one, no lie. Even though the ingredient that gives it its distinctive flavor is (gasp and horror!) corn.

We’ll discuss how corn syrup in beer is not the Devil Incarnate another time, shall we? Sorry Bud Lite.

Here in Ann Arbor, there’s a brewery near and dear to me that specializes in lagers. The addition of Blue Water Light to Wolverine State Brewing Company’s line-up is one of the smartest things they’ve done. It’s truly “lite,” even dare I say refreshing, and session-able as heck. They’re planning to package it in cans this summer, so be on the lookout.

Alrighty then, Brick Boozers, there you have it. Some weirdness. Some lite. Some Michigan recommendations.

And, as always, your monthly dose of mild snark plus advice from your favorite semi-professional booze expert.

See you next month.

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor.

She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. http://www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) http://www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

May 2019 | 35

A Fresh Coat of Paint

by Tiffany Edison

Photo by Jeff Garland

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T

here is nothing I love more than a fresh start! Think about it — you are brimming with possibilities, a blank canvas hangs before you; who do you want to be? Of course I understand that some individuals prefer routine and predictability, feeling grounded in sameness. However, there is another crew out there, I’m here to tell you — those that relish the “new,” those that feel invigorated by reinventing themselves. This set relishes in getting a mulligan, a.k.a. a “do-over” (for all the non-golfers out there).

There has been ample research supporting the fact that we are a nation of “halves;” right- or left-wing, the glass is half full or half empty, and then those who are outlined above. One half are those who see a pool and are immediately excited about jumping in with their clothes on, the other half are those rummaging anxiously through the bottom of their pool bag in search of nose plugs.

I am firmly in this camp: “Wet clothes? Who cares! Screw the dry cleaning bill!” Life is for the living. Or, at least, for those willing to take a chance now and again.

I sound like a broken record when I constantly repeat my beliefs to clients regarding how they could feel in their home environments, as it is so important. Emotional wellness or satisfaction is a characteristic that nearly all crave. Just as it is undeniably important to feel comfortable in your own skin, it is equally important to feel content in your own home.

Period.

designers are not immune to missed opportunities in their own surroundings. I immediately retrieved my paint deck and got to work. I began planning a weekend paint project to revamp my bookshelves and my spirit. Scanning beloved items in my bedroom for color inspiration, I zeroed in on a few paint options, deciding to paint only the backs of the book shelves for a much needed “pop” of color. I debated between two, a medium-tone rose and an elegant eggplant, deciding ultimately that despite my love of Prince and his amazing musical talents, I myself was not a purple person. By the time the weekend rolled around, I was full steam ahead, stripping the shelves of books and haphazard items that somehow landed in the same vicinity. I was thinking only of my award-winning “after” look, and failed to consider how this act would force me to evaluate what was worth keeping and what had outlasted its expiration date. How was it possible that I moved my graduate school academic books to my new home in Ann Arbor? The answer was staring me squarely in the face. I resolved that it was high time to move on. As I packed up these volumes, I reminisced. A healthy walk down memory lane in a different time and place. I was ready to add other items to this pile. I enthusiastically began sorting books into bins, those I would keep and those I would relocate to a good home. I felt a sense of satisfaction come over me in this simple act. It empowered me to then tackle old photos in need of re-framing. My treasured wood collection cried out for a design-worthy display in front of the rosetone shelves. When all was said and done, this project cost approximately sixty dollars in paint and supplies and six hours of my time. It was one of the best investments I have

As the harsh winter glare slowly recedes, spring seems so promising and nudges us forward, allowing for a renewal in our spirits and in our home environments as well. One way I like to welcome this seasonal change is by inviting the outdoors in. Open up those windows and doors and allow fresh air to flow into each room. This simple act can be surprisingly revitalizing. Next up, why not try a fresh coat of paint? You will be shocked by how this simple and incredibly affordable step can completely transform a room or even your entire home and, in turn, your overall well-being.

Just recently I was staring blankly at the bookshelves in my home, and honestly, I felt bored! Ho-hum. My off-white bookshelves were glaring back at me. How is this possible?

I thought to myself while shaking my head. It’s true, even

Photo by Jessica Ruscello

May 2019 | 37

made in a long time. I am thrilled with the end result.

Moral of the story: take a chance!

Allow for some experimentation with color via a fresh coat of paint. The psychology of color is an incredibly fascinating field that has experts citing the importance of color and the impact it has on our mood and behavior.

Big color risks can offer even bigger design rewards; it takes confidence. I would say confidence may be the single most evident trait my design clients are lacking, and that is okay. It is my job then to help them uncover what is their heart’s desire, and instill the confidence needed to make sound decisions unabashedly. Typically, deciding the color palette of a home is one of the first tasks underpinning nearly every design project. I find this to be a very thrilling part of the design process, as it usually gives great insight into the homeowner’s personality. It’s not uncommon for me to take notice of my client’s wardrobe selections upon meeting them for the first time. Rather unconsciously, the way we dress very often is a reflection of colors and textures that bring us comfort. I myself tend to wear a lot of cream and black, with pops of color sprinkled in — that very much describes my home as well.

Photo by Jeff Garland

38 | The Brick Magazine

Paint is not just a finishing touch, but rather a key component of every room in our home environment.

When selecting colors, it is important to consider many factors, such as the scale of the space, what features you ultimately want to

accentuate or recede, as well as the quality of light within a given room. However, I find it best to simply start by asking which colors you prefer and which are disharmonious to your internal rhythm. In the ground-breaking book “Feng Shui and Health: The Anatomy of a Home, ” Nancy SantoPietro talks at length about her unique skill-set of using chakra energy work and feng shui as the primary color systems to bring about balance and better health in the home environment. I highly recommend that those interested in a more in-depth understanding of this phenomenon check out this acclaimed book. But for our purposes here, it is safe to say that choosing the right color can be a task that delights a few and leaves other running out of the room!

Color is a powerful way to communicate or convey a mood or emotion. Let’s take the color blue, for example.

Blue is technically considered a “cool” color denoting the color of the sky and ocean. It is, perhaps, my favorite color for decorating, and it’s for some personal reasons. It La Tanya Keith, CRB, CRS, LTG Associate Broker Office: 734.821.0789 Cell: 734.657.4174 LaTanyaKeith@kw.com • www.LaTanyaKeith.com

denotes first place ribbons, being a true-blue friend, and the Tiffany & Company blue for which I was named. That said, I loathe baby blue in most spaces and find that teal makes me itchy and restless. Experts have found that while color can have an influence on our mood and actions, these effects are highly subjective based on the personal, cultural, and situational associations we carry.

So what is the bottom line? Choose colors that bring personal joy. Experiment with color and be willing to take a chance. Use one of your “mulligans” if you don’t get it right the first time. Jump in that pool with your clothes on — after all, it’s only paint.

Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects. She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor, and Metro Detroit residents. She has a wonderfully large blended family residing in the city and enjoys the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her active on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Photo by Jeff Garland

I also am active on Instagram @birchdesignassociates.

May 2019 | 39

Fertile Ground:

A Fresh Perspective on Healing

by Kellie Mox Photo by Melissa Westbrook

M

ost people didn’t know I was sick, even on my toughest days. My outsides revealed little of the war being waged on my insides. The list of test results that indicated multi-system dysfunction was long, yet I pushed through the daily work of mothering and adulting with determination and commitment. This was what I knew, what I’d always done, and it served me for a time. Until it didn’t.

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My story, I’ve come to learn, is not special. There are far too many of us over-working, multi-tasking, driving ourselves to be and do more, and then finding ourselves managing chronic illness and acute disease. If you’re like me, a recovering perfectionist and type-A personality, you may be doing all of it with some added guilt and negative self-talk on the side.

Fortunately, I also had a passion for the inner workings of our bodies and minds. I fell in love with psychology early in life, after a journey through anorexia in my late teens.

The universe propelled me along, bringing teachers who opened my eyes to mind-body medicine, spirituality and health, and alternative medicine. Ever the over-achiever, I followed an advanced degree in health psychology with a master’s degree in public health, then health coach training.

Even before I knew I was chronically ill, I explored this work personally. I’d been in therapy, read countless selfhelp books, and worked with various complementary and alternative practitioners.

I had been on a healing journey, a quest of sorts all along, even before the chronic illness set in. But here’s the thing that I didn’t recognize. I’d been searching outside myself for something that I could only find within. I’d been looking for someone or something to fix me, because somewhere deep within, beyond my awareness, I believed something inside me was broken. Until I did the real work of tending to my inner landscape, I was fertile ground for disease.

Cultivating Wholeness I was eventually diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease, which drove me to dig deeper into what it means to heal. With much research as well as guidance and support from mentors and healing sisters, I learned just how much of an inside job healing really is. All the diets, supplements, knowledge, and treatments won’t heal you if your inner space is teeming with limiting beliefs, negative thoughts, and disowned feelings.

Don’t Misunderstand How you nourish your body, how you move it and tend to it — these are all important. But a cure brought about by these methods won’t last if your whole self is neglected. It’s important, too, to distinguish between curing and healing.

Sometimes healing results in a cure — I am living proof of this.

Sometimes, though, people heal even in the midst of dying.

Healing, rather than curing, is about cultivating our wholeness.

It means learning to love and trust ourselves and express our truths to the world. Healing, in this way, has no endpoint and will continue even beyond any cure you achieve.

Three Seeds to Nurture While everyone’s path through healing is different, I’ve found there are three seeds we need to nurture in ourselves for healing to flourish.

Self-love is number one, and maybe the hardest to embrace in our culture of self-reproach, self-criticism, and self-deprecation. In addition, many of us didn’t learn how to love ourselves early on, so we have to do the work as adults. It seems intuitive that beating ourselves up emotionally would translate to the body attacking itself, and while it’s not widely acknowledged, this is a critical component of reversing autoimmune disease.

Self-love is dynamic, and it will grow and shift over time and with work. It means caring for ourselves as lovingly as we do our family. It means prioritizing our needs and desires. It means wholeheartedly accepting ourselves, the dark and the light.

How to cultivate it: Setting boundaries in work and relationships, practicing self-care daily, and forgiving ourselves are just a few ways to begin. For me, I’ve learned to embrace “non-doing” as an act of self-love. I’ve been learning the art of gentleness with myself. And I’ve been listening more to my body and what it truly needs.

Self-trust is the second critical component to healing. In our culture, the doctor or other experts know best, but this approach can give away our power. When we disregard our inner knowing or intuition, we may head down a path that doesn’t align for us. When it comes to health, we must choose wisely those people we want to support us in our healing. We can take into account their expertise and opinions, but we are the ultimate determiners of our healing journey.

Self-trust, though, is more than this. Like self-love, it is both a feeling and a skill that we can hone over time. It means having faith, and feeling comfortable, that our inner resources can guide us through life. It means connecting with that still, small voice within.

How to Cultivate It When we name, validate, and allow ourselves to feel our real feelings, when we recognize and halt fear-based thinking, and when we practice mindfulness, we grow our trust in ourselves. My journey involves all these and more, and is greatly reinforced with practice! The more I act in accordance with my inner knowing, the more I am comfortable trusting it.

Self-expression is born from the first two and is the third tenet of cultivating fertile healing ground. It’s not

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just about expressing our thoughts or feelings. It’s about knowing our truths, living them, and sharing them with the world. It can be difficult to distinguish between our own truths and the truths of our parents, friends, colleagues, and culture. So often we’ve been told stories about ourselves by others. Sometimes we’ve made up our own stories that no longer serve us. Even when we’ve done the work of remembering and owning our truths, there’s the essential piece of sharing them with others.

This kind of authenticity requires a willingness to be vulnerable that can be challenged by societal, cultural, or family expectations of how we should look, feel, be. But it’s a worthwhile effort. Self-expression means reconnecting with what enlivens us, what infuriates us, what drives us. It means fully accepting our truths now and as they evolve.

And it means opening ourselves to be truly seen and known, in our wholeness.

How to cultivate it: We can begin by noticing our selftalk, or our stories, and questioning their truth. We can share our vulnerabilities with someone we trust. We can make something that is an expression of ourselves, even if we don’t take the step of sharing it yet. My practice has involved accepting parts of myself that I didn’t like in the past, spending more time in creative endeavors, and recognizing the ways in which I’ve made myself small and blocked my self-expression.

One Journey, Different Paths My journey has been fraught with twists, turns, and perceived setbacks. Healing is not linear. It’s

42 | The Brick Magazine

mysterious and wild, and it can’t be explained by any one framework. But the learning and evolution it brings are exponential and in direct proportion to the investment we make in ourselves. Everyone’s path through healing will be different, but we all need to nurture self-love, self-trust, and self-expression.

Without them, we are fertile ground for disease and illness. With them, healing is possible.

Within the last year, my blood tests revealed, seemingly out of nowhere, that my autoimmune markers are gone after nearly two decades of autoimmunity. While I know that homeopathy, diet, meditation, supplements, acupuncture, and many other things supported this cure, I also know that none of these would have had that power if my mind, body, and spirit weren’t fertile ground for healing. I had to first embrace — and continue to practice — the hard work of nurturing self-love, selftrust, and self-expression.

our wholeness.

Kellie Mox catalyzes revolutionary healing for women through powerful conversations and whole-health mentoring. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections – to self, others, and the world – and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections and embrace

Kellie is a certified coach and a student of homeopathic medicine with a master’s in health behavior & health education. She works with women virtually and in-person from her home base in Ann Arbor, Michigan. https//www.instagram.com/kelliemox/ https://www.facebook.com/kelliemoxcoachingandhealing/

with Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

Get Unstuck.

Be Unstoppable.

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Enjoy a Complimentary First Session as a gift to yourself!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Life Empowerment Coaching, LLC 1785 W. Stadium, Suite 104 • Ann Arbor, Mi 48103

734-717-7532 • www.LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com

May 2019 | 43

“Re”-Fresh Your Blood Flow

by Lisa Profera, MD

E

very cell in our body must be near a capillary bed for optimal function — wouldn’t you want your 100 trillion cells to have access to fresh blood flow every minute of every day? It’s amazing to me how this is not the case in so many people. Healthy tissues and organ systems require healthy cells supplied by healthy blood flow. Proper oxygenation and delivery of nutrients to every cell in your body is dependent upon this. Equally important is the efficient removal of carbon dioxide and waste products of metabolism. Without this exchange, we have dysfunction.

44 | The Brick Magazine

Genetics, lifestyle choices, environmental exposures, and the aging process play a big role in the proper functioning of our circulatory system. Even in a perfect scenario (great genetics, proper diet, exercise, etc.), the pulsations of our microcirculation slow down significantly with age. Is there a way to restore microvascular function? The answer is yes. It is possible to “re”-fresh your blood flow.

When we learned about the circulatory system in high school biology, we were mainly taught about the heart and the major blood vessels (aorta, pulmonary artery

and veins, etc). This accounts for 26% of the circulatory system. All of our cardiac medications and procedures act upon the heart and the larger blood vessels. There are no receptors for heart medications located on the cell membranes of the smallest blood vessels, so our prescription drugs cannot help the microcirculation. Heart surgery, stents, and other surgical procedures are done on the heart itself and the larger vessels. Right now in the USA, the vast majority of cardiologists have nothing to offer when it comes to supporting microcirculation. This is changing.

When I refer to the microcirculation, I mean the tiniest blood vessels in our body that comprise 74% of our circulatory system (most of which are microscopic).

The “magic” happens here in the arterioles, venules, and capillaries where the delivery and exchange process occurs — vital to the survival of every cell in our body.

This elegant and complex system of branching vessels that serially decrease in caliber down to the width of a single red blood cell is vast and compact. If laid out linearly, this intricate system would circle Earth almost three times. Remarkably, our 74,000 miles of capillaries only take up 7% of the body’s total volume. Even today, future doctors in the USA are not taught much about the microcirculation. That may change soon, it’s already happening in Europe.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to have healthy blood flow. Recently, the American Heart Association (AHA) has been acknowledging the crucial role of the microcirculation to cardiovascular health and to overall health (just search for American Heart Association and microcirculation). According to the AHA, many disease conditions arise from vascular dysfunction. These include conditions that directly affect the heart and large vessels, such as coronary artery disease, cardiomyopathy, heart failure, and peripheral artery disease. Research also shows a direct correlation with microvascular dysfunction and obesity, obstructive sleep apnea, diabetes, dementia, certain autoimmune diseases, high blood pressure, inflammatory bowel disease, and many more. The European research is even more extensive.

Women have a higher incidence of microvascular disease according to the WISE (Women Ischemia Syndrome Evaluation) trial published in 2015. Many women with chest pain (angina) had normal-appearing coronary arteries (larger vessels) but were found to have significant

impairment in microcirculation putting them at risk for a cardiac event or sudden death. As I mentioned earlier, cardiac meds, stents, and even bypass surgery cannot help this problem. 90% of the heart’s blood supply is through its microvasculature.

Our heart has an electrical system that tells it when to pump our four to six liters of blood throughout our body.

Our microvessels also have their own electrical pulsations that are independent of the heart (recently discovered in 1998). Recognizing its importance, the science of vasomotion and vascular dilation of the microcirculation has been extensively studied by Dr. Rainier Klopp and his team at the Institute of Microcirculation in Berlin, Germany for over 20 years. Through decades of research using direct visualization of its effects on vasomotion, his team continues to develop technology that positively enhances the function of the microcirculation.

The age of energy medicine is here. Blood flow can be supported with a European medical device that I use in my practice. This technology is so far advanced in its ability to improve blood flow that NASA is using it to help astronauts overcome the challenges of space travel. As I wrote in my BRICK article in October of 2018 (entitled Good EMF, The Benefits of Bioenergy), our bodies respond to the delivery of a good form of EMF (electromagnetic field) which enhances the natural vasomotion and vasodilation of the microcirculation, thus allowing it to function as it did when we were younger. To quote myself, “This unique multidimensional bioenergy signal is similar to our Earth’s geomagnetic field, and our bodies resonate with its gentle frequencies.”

Progressive doctors in this country are recognizing the importance of microcirculation. Improved blood flow helps the body function better and heal itself. What can fresh blood flow mean to you? Better health, better sleep, more energy — sound good? You can’t really imagine how much better you can feel until you actually do.

Mention this article for a complimentary consult with Dr. Profera.. Contact Dr. Profera for educational events in the Ann Arbor area..

Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI BEMER Independent Distributor www.projuvu.com / 1.844.PROJUVU / drprofera@gmail.com FaceBook business page: https://www.facebook.com/projuvu/

May 2019 | 45

WOMAN ON THE STREET

A Search for Friends

by Stella Orange

Photo by Greg Raines

I

’m looking for friends. I’m not talking about acquaintances, associates, or neighbors. I’m talking about the sorts of people who you don’t have to put a bra on for before they come over. I’m talking people who like to have meandering conversations on the couch. I’m talking about people with whom I can share meals, vacations, and other schemes.

When I was first out of college, I lived in a Japanese village in a small house with woven straw mat floors, a five-minute walk from the middle school where I taught English. I was befriended by a middle-aged man named Ikari who’d studied agriculture and rode his motorcycle around the western U.S. before returning to start his life and family back in Japan.

When I met him, he worked at the Honda factory.

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Ikari was a student in my adult English class on Thursday nights at the community center. Every few months, he’d organize a dinner or barbeque for our group. When I left Japan to move back to the States, he started calling me every month for a quick three-minute conversation to check in and invite me back to Japan. That was more than twenty years ago, and since then, he’s continued to call to keep in touch. We also went on a multi-day bike camping trip in Yellowstone, and he helped me stage several bike tours with friends in Japan over the years. Last year, when my husband and I went back to Japan, Ikari gathered a few of my old adult English class students for a reunion meal.

When I was in my twenties and single in Seattle, I used to

go over to my friend Annie’s apartment for Sunday dinner.

She’d cook and I’d eat. Sometimes she’d invite other guests over to join in, but it was often just the two of us. We’d been roommates in college, so we were used to sharing space and breaking bread together. It was a comforting ritual, to pop two floors down in our shared apartment building in Seattle, to close the weekend together and catch each other up.

Then I moved to Montana, and fell in with a few different friend groups. I worked at an art center doing fundraising and community building, and so I knew a bunch of artists and creative folks. There were house parties, bonfires, gallery openings. I was also writing for the theater, and eventually auditioned for and performed with an improv troupe. I convened a few of my writer friends periodically to read each other’s work and give notes to one another at kitchen tables and in my backyard. And I was part of another sporty crew who skied, ran trails, rode bikes, and hiked together. We also drank beer and potlucked as if our lives depended on it.

I left Montana to move to Miami to see about a guy. I knew it was going to be a rough move. I sensed it would be a ridiculous, even nonsensical, place to live. Although I was raised to see the good in things, the best thing about spending five years in South Florida was leaving. Those were the lost years, friend-wise. I made an earnest effort to find my people there, and failed. Our friends were all my now-husband’s friends from grad school. We hosted Thanksgiving dinners and gathered groups to play games. I accepted invitations for girls’ night out.

But I never quite found my friend groove there.

To compensate, I sourced my friendships elsewhere. I’d started my advertising copywriting business in Florida, and went to New York City every quarter for work. So I made friends there. And I went back to Montana for a month every year, renting an apartment and hanging out with my friends there. I considered it an investment in my mental health, a kind of life support system. I wasn’t wrong.

Fast forward to now. We’ve been living in upstate New York for almost three years. Ikari just called last week; he’s about to plant potatoes. Annie and I text each other all the time; her daughter just sent me a video asking me to sponsor an upcoming run she’s doing. And our Montana friends just came for a visit this past winter, where they cooked us breakfast and let our dog sleep in bed with them.

All this is quite wonderful. And I’m looking for friends who live here, in the same city. To me, it’s the ultimate luxury: having friends you like enough to let in the house, when the rest of the world is not invited.

I’m starting to have those friends here. My friend Abby, who lives a few blocks away, just had a baby. The next weekend, she texted me, inviting me over to meet her daughter. I texted back that I was about to make eggs. She replied that she was about to make pancakes. Which gave me the

great and efficient idea of inviting myself over to her house for pancakes. Instead of finding this intrusive or rude, Abby thought this was a great idea, too. This is how I know we’re going to be good friends.

Side bar: in my quest for friends, I’ve decided to skip the part where I wait for an invitation, and cut right to the part where I invite myself over. This feels more efficient. If my potential friend ends up being put off by me inviting myself over, they probably aren’t going to enjoy the rest of my personality, either.

So a few weeks ago, I’d invited two women over for a lastminute brunch. My partner was out of town, and I was in a social mood. One woman declined; her kids are in high school and they were cleaning the house together. But the other one said yes, and offered to bring breakfast dessert. I didn’t invite Abby because she just had a kid, and it just seems like people with three-week-olds probably aren’t up for socializing.

Then I get a text from Abby, telling me that her house was filled with helpers who needed more help than they’re giving.

Her dad was binge-watching MSNBC while marching in place to get his daily exercise. And her aunt had a dog who didn’t like being left alone all day, and was feeling lonely. Would my dog, Abby wondered, be interested in a doggie play date?

Fifteen minutes later, Abby, her husband, her daughter, her aunt, and her aunt’s golden retriever showed up on our doorstep. Apparently, it wasn’t just the dog that needed a change of scene. We let the dogs out to muddy themselves in the backyard, and I served them water and tea. You know, the fancy stuff.

After an hour together, I happened to mention that our other friend was coming over for brunch the next day. “I’ll come, too,” Abby said. “I’ll make a cauliflower frittata. Gives me an excuse to cook.” She’d been on bed rest for months prior to giving birth, and her helpers had been cooking for her ever since they’d gotten home from the hospital.

So the next day, my two new friends came over, supplying food for our brunch. I made a salad, coffee, and tea. And we talked of many things — the cities we’ve loved, the places we’ve been, our plans for the future. How we, and many of the women we know and love, were so shook by the Kavanaugh hearings. And how pants have gotten so more stretchy and comfortable, so at least that’s one thing that’s getting better.

And although I was wearing a bra, I didn’t need to be. These are those kind of friends.

Stella Orange is a copywriter and co-founder of Las Peregrinas, a business advising and marketing service company.

Find out more about her work at www.lasperegrinas.org May 2019 | 47

Intimate Requests: Keep It Fresh!

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

“Wait,” I called after him. “Before you leave, let me look at you — take you in for a second.” He stopped. And staring into those luscious pools of deep green, my heart jumped, then danced its happy dance. Wow. Nice unexpected start to the morning. Even better, as an additional perk, the sweet memory lingered, making my entire day feel cozy, rich, and expansive. A fresh start. A fresh start for us. This simple little request broke something open in me, and I felt deliciously connected to him again in a way I hadn’t felt for a while.

And perhaps it worked some bit of magic for him too.

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Regardless of how wonderful a partnership might be, even the best of relationships go through times when the energy seems to dull, wax, or wane. Things between you can begin to feel flat, routine, or boring. Just like everything else that lives and thrives, a relationship needs to be well-fed. In my work coaching couples in how to improve their relationships, as well as being deeply committed to my own, one thing that is guaranteed to nurture and nourish a partnership is to develop the art of making intimate requests.

“When you do things from your soul, a river moves through you. Freshness and joy are the signs.” ~ Rumi needed an awakening. Intimate requests reveal what we are longing for, and allow our partners the opportunity to better understand us and respond. Intimate requests therefore empower both the request maker and the request receiver. Sometimes, you may find yourself making a request of your partner, and only after the request is met do you realize the life-saving, heartopening grace of the moment. In other words, you realize, deep in your body and spirit, how desperately you needed that which your beloved just fulfilled! At any time in your relationship, you have the glorious opportunity to begin anew and freshen things up.

In order to make an intimate request, you have to first become mindful of what you want, need, or desire. This means, in effect, we have to dig deep and be ready to make ourselves vulnerable. To figure out these soullongings and find that which you are seeking, you will want to switch into a slowed-down, contemplative mode, then trust what you discover there. What are you noticing? Let your intuition guide you. What would feel good? How might you want to be nurtured? What might help you feel more intimately connected? What desire, if met, might help you grow or connected more deeply your partner?

Photo by Kristina Litvjak

When I talk about intimate requests here, I’m not referring to intimate sexual requests, although they can also be deliciously powerful and helpful in deepening connection.

Rather, today I’m talking about the art of making kind, loving, creative requests of a non-sexual nature that have the effect of replenishing and rekindling the positive, close energy between lovers, marital partners, or friends.

Intimate requests are wake-up calls! And they are such even if you haven’t consciously realized your relationship

Don’t jump too far ahead of yourself here. Go with what first hits you. This is exactly what I did when I sensed I needed to take pause and gaze into my husband’s eyes that morning not long ago. My heart ached for such, and I asked for it spontaneously and quickly before I could talk myself out of it or rationalize the desire away as a silly little daydream or longing. The heart always knows what matters and what we need. We just have to listen and trust the knowing.

New beginnings bring with them the treasure of new realizations. Take for instance the wonderful intimate request my husband made recently for a date night at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase. He and a dear friend

The beauty of any intimate request, especially if one’s partner is open to hearing and lovingly responding to them, is the growth potential they offer the relationship. We enter into relationships for a multitude of reasons, though I believe one key reason is the longing to grow and develop ourselves in new ways — to become an even better person than we were outside of the union.

of mine schemed up a plan — a surprise double-date adventure into this new (for us) venue, plus dinner at a restaurant he had never been to before. What a blast!

And what laughs! Most endearing, and refreshing for our relationship, was my husband sharing afterwards that the very best part of the evening for him was listening to me laugh like he hadn’t heard me do so in a long while. Like magic, this intimate request brought each of us gifts. For me, it was an unexpected, fully-orchestrated night out with close friends doing something new and different. For him, it was a fun time, plus the unique experience of his sweetie cracking up and laughing hysterically, sometimes to the point of tears, as the jokes rolled. Intimate requests keep it fresh indeed!

The kinds of intimate requests one can make of a partner are really endless. They can be requests to spend quality time together a certain way — taking a walk, visiting a museum, listening to music, reading out loud to each other, or cooking a meal, for instance. Quality time requests could also be bigger events such as weekend getaways, or invitations to attend concerts or sports events.

Intimate requests can also be those that ask your partner to do something for you — to prepare a bubble bath for your lounging pleasure, or a request for a foot or back massage, or help you with gardening or house tasks. One might even make the intimate request for a few hours alone, knowing that receiving such will help recharge you, refueling your energy to return to the partnership in glowing form.

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We carry within ourselves a sense of great possibility. And those possibilities are reached, and expanded on, through the alchemy of rich, meaningful close connection with others. Intimate requests, both in the making and the honoring of them, have the power to expand our self-awareness, our capacities, and our overall quality of life. They are not to be taken for granted. Intimate requests help bring juicy, dynamic, new energy to our interactions.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, making and receiving intimate requests can be downright fun!

Intimate request-making is like pushing a big, beautiful relationship reset button. New appreciations for each other, and for ourselves, develop when we creatively traverse new territories together. Your love becomes even more vibrant and empowered. A previously restless heart feels more satisfied. Passions ignite and sparks fly where mere embers might have been previously, slowly burning out. Intimate requests foster greater closeness between partners, which automatically helps keep things fresh.

So go ahead, try making a few requests of your own, and watch as the surprise and unexpected novelty of the moments that follow remind you why you fell in love in the first place!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com

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