Photo by Ibrahim Rifath
LOVE, ACTUALLY The Absence of Love… In Your 40s
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by Anna Wilking
or anyone who has been single at an age when you’re “supposed” to be partnered, it can be a gut-wrenching time. After a sudden and terrible breakup with a (terrible) partner, who I was willing to hunker down with and squeeze out some babies, I suddenly found myself alone and heartbroken at the age of 38. I had been with my partner for several years and could have never foreseen the circumstances that led to my walking out (more on that later). Little did I know that I would be single for the next four years. Yes, I am a feminist. Yes, I needed time to heal and lick my wounds. I wanted to celebrate my newly-found freedom and feel like an empowered woman, but it was a struggle when most of my peer group was married with children. At times, it was a dark and lonely existence. Don’t get me wrong — at times, it was a carefree existence with
22 | The Brick Magazine
lots of ridiculous Tinder dates with “inappropriately aged” younger men (much more on that later). But despite enjoying my newly found status on Tinder as a fetish object for men on the prowl to fulfill their professor-pupil fantasies, Sunday afternoon would roll around, and as I tapped into my social network, I found that no one was available. Sundays are family days. Everyone would be with their partners or their spouses and children, enjoying the frenetic activity of “Sunday Fun-Day” and getting their households ready for the week ahead. I felt desperately lonely on Sundays. I had my running club and domestic obligations like everyone else, but often I would sit and feel dejected, wondering why I wasn’t also part of a family. Why wasn’t I scooting children from one birthday party to the next or planning a picnic in
