The Brick Magazine - November 2019

BRICK

THE

NOVEMBER 2019

MAGAZINE

ANN ARBOR

HOW TO BRING DANISH COMFORT INTO YOUR HOME SETTLING INTO WINTER AT HOME WITHIN OURSELVES

PLUS! CBD IS EVERYWHERE

Kim Barnes Arico

PASSION TO BE THE BE ST

R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E .

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

NOVEMBER 2019

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Assistant to the Publisher • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Online Creative • Bridget Baker Cover Photographer • Heidi McClelland

Contributors >>

<< Gail Barker Monica Brancheau Liz Crowe Morella Devost Kristen Domingue

<<

Tiffany Edison Madeleine Forbes Charlotte Kaye Kellie Mox

Sophia Papadopoulos Marilyn Pellini Lisa Profera Stephanie Saline Maria Sylvester

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THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC 6 | The Brick Magazine

8

Booze 101 with Liz: Trim that Turkey

12

Passion to Be the Best with UM’s Kim Barnes Arico

20

How to Bring Danish Comfort into Your Home!

24

Settling into Winter

26

For Personal & Planetary Thriving When Life is in Flux...

28

The Essential Link Between Planning and Nesting

30

A Woven Pocket of Safety and Warmth

32

Hygge: Cozy and Connected

34

Woman on the Street In Praise of Waiting

36

Dynasty’s “Femperial” is the Future

38

The November Nest

40

CBD is Everywhere

44

Cultivating Wonder

48

At Home within Ourselves

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

Trim that Turkey

by Liz Crowe Photo by Christiann Koepke

8 | The Brick Magazine

W

ell, congratulations. You’ve all made it to another November. Which means, of course, it’s time to start planning ahead, and even training for, your holiday alcohol consumption. You know what they say: the Wednesday prior to Turkey Day is the busiest night of the year for bars. The weekend after is even busier. Trust me. I used to manage a bar, so I know things.

While the reasons for this can be broken down in hours of therapy or on Twitter, I’m not here to deal with that part. What I want you to do is start thinking about the weekend’s booze in a slightly different way. I mean, sure, you can cradle the bottle of Four Roses to your bosom or drink from the neck of the Tito’s bottle all you want.

But really, what are you accomplishing? Holiday drinking is a fine art. Something to anticipate and plan for, sort of like the meal itself. You owe it to yourself to get creative, think outside the wine box, as it were. Get creative. Do something interesting.

My most interesting Thanksgivings were in Hiroshima, Japan and in Louisville, Kentucky, at Churchill Downs. It’s a thirteen-and-a-half-hour-long airplane trip from Osaka to Detroit—after a three-hour bullet train ride from Hiroshima to Osaka—so the year the youngest Crowe joined the murder while we were ex-pats in Japan, we decided to skip the trip home for Thanksgiving. That year, Ford had a ton of Americans living in the city working on a joint engineering project with Mazda and most, if not all of us, made the same call. So, we decided to potluck the thing and invite our fellow Japanese friends and co-workers. I’m telling you, you have not lived through a Turkey Day until you’ve enjoyed fresh sashimi, mochi balls, and tonkatsu straight off the griddle, with a side of Hiroshima’s finest okonomiyaki—a street food that is hands-down the most delicious thing ever.

A few years post-repatriation, we needed to figure out a two-family middle ground, so instead of forcing any one person to prepare and serve us plus random in-laws, we booked tickets for…the track. Thanksgiving weekend, as it turns out, is the final weekend of the fall meet at Churchill Downs (see: Derby Party that we must plan and throw together next year). I’ve been to said event the first Saturday of May four or five times, but my only shot to dine and enjoy the view from “Millionaire’s Row” was the

third Thursday in November. It was incredible—full white tablecloth meal with all the traditional eats, bars galore, and when you (couldn’t stand to be around family another second) wanted the full Churchill Downs Experience, you (escaped) got up from the table clutching your perfectly-crafted Old Fashioned (a.k.a. The Mint Julep of Thanksgiving) and placed a bet, then watched the ponies run from high above the track.

Now, I’m not suggesting a trip to Japan (although if you’re interested, I highly recommend the Churchill Downs thing.

Louisville is a cool city, but I’m biased!), but you can still think about an interesting way to change up the booze scene at your house for The Big Meal. How about…punch?

Yes. Something you mix all together in a big bowl and either ladle into funny little punch cups or pour from a pitcher into a glass. Punches used to be the only way to serve alcohol in a classy fashion at a gathering. Now, we think of it as the bowl of Kool-Aid at the school dance that some smartypants spikes with a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20.

Let’s think differently, shall we? I’m going to suggest one classic and one contemporary recipe for a Thanksgiving gathering punch for you to try this year. I encourage you to try one, or concoct one yourself. It’s not rocket science, November 2019 | 9

Photo by Adam Jaime

10 | The Brick Magazine

but there are some things that work, and others that simply won’t, so be sure to run a test batch before you give any to Aunt Sue or Uncle Bob. First, the classic: something called Cardinal Punch (yes, I know my Louisville is showing, but this one is good!).

Straight from The Savoy Cocktail Book given to me as a gift the Christmas we lived in Merrie Old England, this punch, like most of them, is very sweet (read: sugary) and also very boozy, so make sure Grandma knows it before you scoop up her fifth serving.

You will need: 1 ½ pounds sugar 2 quarts sparkling water 3 quarts Claret (a full-bodied, deep-colored type of rosé) 1 pint brandy 1 pint rum 1 pint sparkling white wine 1 glass Italian vermouth Mix it all in a punch bowl and float a big block of ice to keep it cool. To make it pretty, float some orange slices in it.

I told you it was boozy.

Now, on the contemporary and slightly lighter side of the recipe card, I give you “The Depot Town Thanksgiving Punch” concocted by Ray, my favorite bartender at Ollie’s Food and Spirits in (naturally) Depot Town, Ypsilanti. This one is reminiscent of a baking kitchen—pies and cookies and cinnamon-y aromas—a Michigan harvest kitchen, if you will. It’s much lighter than The Cardinal, suitable as an aperitif for the big meal to come. It too has a vermouth edge to it, which is interesting. As a matter of fact, it’s more or less vermouth-based with a high-proof bourbon chaser.

Depending on how much you want to make, you will need:

yourself using cinnamon sticks, water, and—there it is again—sugar) Add a splash of fresh lemon juice to the blended drink in the bowl or pitcher, plus ice cubes—make those super cute ones where you freeze something in them like cranberries, lemon slices, or even perhaps sprigs of rosemary or thyme so when it melts, it only adds to the aroma and taste of your creation.

Go on, make a punch this Thanksgiving. Or, in lieu of that, pack up the family and get down to Churchill Downs for the day. Either way, you’ll be kicking off the Holiday Drinking Season in style.

2 parts Salers Gentian Apertif (the vermouth in this equation) 1 part high-proof bourbon (the best, Ray says, for mixing cocktails).

Suggestions: Evan Williams 100 proof “BiB” (bottled in bond—something I’ll explain another time, never fear) Old Grandad 100 proof bonded 1/2 part Angotura Amaro (an Italian liqueur that gives the allspice, clove, baking-kitchen sensation) 1/2 part simple cinnamon syrup (something you can make

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor.

She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

November 2019 | 11

Photo by Heather McClelland

12 | The Brick Magazine

Passion to Be the Best with UM’s Kim Barnes Arico

by Kristen Domingue

S

pending time with Kim Barnes Arico, the head coach of The University of Michigan’s women’s basketball team, was eye-opening. Throughout our lives, it can be challenging to keep the fire in your heart alive to want something more, to be something more. But with Kim, we were shown an intimate look into what it actually takes—mainly, a desire to be the best version of yourself. The exciting thing about Kim’s story is that while she didn’t know how amazingly fulfilling her career would become, her commitment to hard work and following her passion guaranteed success, no matter what she did or where she went. Her desire to be the best she can be gives her an automatic advantage in every area of her life, and in everything she commits to in this lifetime.

Kim’s story shows us that we don’t always have to know the answer to get it right.

The phone call that started it all If I’m being completely honest, I never thought I’d be here. It just wasn’t something I’d planned on or had in mind as a goal. When I went to school, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do; I thought about being a teacher. I just knew that I really loved to play basketball, I was competitive, and I was always looking for a game. One of the hardest things I ever did was to stop playing basketball when I was younger. When my college career came to an end, I still wanted to be involved somehow, so I continued to play in all the “old lady leagues” and tried to stay as active as possible.

But I still had that drive and that competitive spirit, and I knew that I liked to be around people who were also driven and wanted to compete. They pushed me to be my best self. Eventually, I found coaching, and started at the high school level. At the time, I taught health, physical education, and driver’s education, and I coached pretty much everything from field hockey to tennis. A new passion began to awaken in me; I started to think, “Oh man, I really enjoy this.” I loved helping them get better, helping them reach their goals and be successful.

Then something happened that I didn’t see coming.

My old college coach heard that a local division three school needed an emergency replacement coach for

November 2019 | 13

14 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Michigan Athletics

their women’s basketball team. The team needed to start practice in two weeks. It was only two miles from where I taught high school. My coach called me and put me in touch with the school, and that’s how I got started coaching at the collegiate level. This was perfect for me—I hadn’t planned on it, but it ended up being something I loved and felt like I needed to do. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

Didn’t know I wanted it—now I can’t live without it!

Even though I had tenure in a great school district, I left.

My parents said things like, “What are you doing? Are you going to have any stability in this kind of profession?

You’re leaving for less money than you’re making as a teacher.” But I really enjoyed it. I couldn’t think about anything else. All I wanted to do was be the best for the team, and get them to be their best.

One of the things that pulled me to Michigan is being surrounded everywhere by people who want to be excellent in everything they do. So for me, it might be athletics, basketball, and coaching; but in this university, in all different capacities, people are so dedicated and so driven by many different things.

It’s been twenty years since I made that transition, and I haven’t regretted a single moment.

A large portion of what I love about coaching is the people. It’s the people I get to be with every day—my staff, the people at the University of Michigan, and my players. Being surrounded by people who are so passionate, so driven, and who want to excel is great.

The second thing I love about coaching here is that because people are so motivated, I have the ability to change people’s lives in a positive way and help them thrive. I love

November 2019 | 15

that I get to do this both on the court and off; I get to see how I impact people’s lives. The women I coach have shown me that they’re learning skills they need to score in everything they do for the rest of their lives.

The thing that probably makes me smile the most is when players come back and talk about how being part of our culture and our program has changed their lives. I had one former player tell me, “Coach, it used to drive me crazy how you got on me about being on time. You’d always say that ‘on time means ten minutes early.’

You’d drill it home—ten minutes early, ten minutes early, ten minutes early! Now I see why it’s so important in my life.”

I had another student who’s now a doctor. She told me that at first she didn’t think she’d get into medical school, because during undergrad she had had a lot on her plate. Once she got in, she thought it might be a lot harder than it was, but she said, “It’s so easy for me because of everything that I was doing with the team. I was so prepared for it all.”

Photo by Heather McClelland

16 | The Brick Magazine

These become the stories we tell when we recruit our players. Our team becomes a second family—we spend that much time together. I become second mom to a lot of the players, and the life lessons they learn in our program make it possible for them to prosper once they leave. The kind of bonds and foundations

we’re building are intentionally meant to last the next forty years. We say “four for forty;” being with this team is the kind of bond where we plan to be at each other’s weddings, births, and other milestones.

I love seeing their growth, especially given where the team starts. I’ve had very talented kids come into my office during their first month of school and cry their eyes out. “I just took my first college test. I didn’t get an A.” Many of them have been accustomed to being successful their whole lives. I have to remind them that no one is going to put their GPA on their diploma, and that it’s going to be okay; no one is going to know what they got on their first college exam.

The downside of being so driven I remember when I came home the very first time my firstborn was sick. He was probably two months old, and my husband already had him in the car seat when I came home because we had to bring them to the doctor right away.

He had a fever. I walked in and I started crying and couldn’t stop. I couldn’t control myself. My husband just wanted to help; he said, “What’s the matter? I’ll take him, I’ll come home from work early tomorrow, I’ll do this, I’ll do that.”

I told him, “No you don’t understand. It’s my job. I want to be the best basketball coach and I want to be the best mom.”

The hardest thing about being so driven is feeling like I have to be the best at everything all the time. But I’ve had a lot of people through the years remind me that I just have to be present where I am. This has been one of my most important lessons. When I’m at home with my kids, I focus on making it quality time, not quantity time.

Another important lesson I’ve learned, and try to pass on to the team, is that I’m surrounded by great people and I can’t do it alone. I had to learn to be okay with this fact. It took me a while to realize I wasn’t going to be perfect; I had to let the idea go.

But I know I’m fortunate. Back on the East Coast, my family was there, they could help a lot when the kids were younger. Now that we’re here in Michigan, I have my family down the hallway in the office; we support one another. I’m very lucky that my place of work is supportive of what I need to do with my family. I’m also

very conscious of developing trust with my colleagues and the university, given how much work I put in all year round. When an emergency pops up, they’re understanding. I’m always aware that it’s a balancing act.

A lot of times I think as a mom, one of the hardest things is to feel like someone or something is always suffering.

There’s a constant nagging inside: “I can do better here, I could be better there.” The thing I’m learning is that I have to continue to show the young women in my profession that they can have the career and they can have the family. We have talented women leaving all the time—and I’m sure this happens in any profession—but I see them leave because they don’t believe they can have this kind of a career and be successful and have a family. The truth is you can—you’re just going to do it differently than other generations have done it. It will be different. Your family life won’t be the picture that we have been fed since 1950.

But that’s okay. Get creative.

The creativity of being so driven Part of getting creative is being willing to make bold choices and force yourself to get outside of your comfort zone—even if you’re not sure you’ll succeed. I stress this

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with my players and with my children. I always feel like I have to try, and I want them to try too. This way they don’t have regrets. I want to be able to look back and see that something didn’t work out because it wasn’t supposed to—or even because I failed—not because I didn’t have the courage to try.

For me, one of those choices was the choice to come to Michigan. Do I keep the job I have, and maybe have more of the traditional family life, or do I reach for the stars? This was the question on my mind at every intersection in my career. I always had a choice.

I would have always had some regret in my life if I didn’t take the chances. As a mom of three children, two of them girls, and a mentor to fifteen young women on my team every year, I always say to them: “You can and you will.” I tell them to reach for the stars. If I’m going to preach that, then I have to be willing to do it myself. I have to be willing to take risks and take chances.

I had a very comfortable life on the East Coast with

my family so nearby. Was I going to stay there, or was I going to come to the University of Michigan because I believed in this university and what it stood for?

There are probably only a couple of institutions you could say that about around the world. I knew this was a perfect fit for me given who I am. But I also had to weigh the fact that I’d uproot my children, my husband, and leave my family behind. This was a huge risk for me to take.

I look back on how I picked up and moved our family across the country, and I remember how my son struggled; that was a really tough time in our lives.

We talk about it sometimes now, how his life might be different, better or worse; we don’t know. I know for a fact that the move took him outside of his comfort zone, and I think that will help prepare him for challenges later in his life.

This among many other things are lessons I have had to make peace with. The things we don’t make peace with end up tearing us up.

Photo by Michigan Athletics

18 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Heather McClelland

Why I push so hard I’ve always been driven and competitive, that’s just who I am. But now that I’m in the place I’m in in my life, I can see that the drive to be the best, to have the best, is more than that. When it comes to resources for the team, their time, their needs, our budget, any of it—I’m committed to being an advocate for these women. I teach my daughters this as well—we have got to be a voice for ourselves. We’ve got to be advocates. It’s our responsibility for the players in our program, for the future of our program. I have to keep making sure that the advocacy for equity and equality doesn’t stop. I think we owe that to the players and we owe that to the world.

Especially in the state of Michigan where I’m raising my family, I want to make sure that we’re leading the forefront on female equity and equality. I don’t want us to be at the rear, or behind the rest of the country, or the rest of the world in terms of how we’re taking care of our young girls.

For this reason, I’m thrilled about the Task Force on Women’s Sports that was created in June of this year by Governor Gretchen Whitmer, which is chaired by our Secretary of

State Jocelyn Benson. This task force—the first of its kind at a state government level—brings together local and national leaders to develop strategies that promote opportunities in Michigan for girls and women in sports. I love that Michigan is one of the first states to make sure that women’s sports are properly resourced so that young girls have the chance to learn about teamwork and leadership. It’s our responsibility to make sure that we are getting the same resources and the same safety standards as men do.

Kim’s drive and competitive nature were an inspiration to us at The Brick. She absolutely radiates the kind of commitment to passion that we love to showcase, and the kind of heart and grit it takes to make dreams real. We’re excited for the Wolverines’ season this year, and are cheering for the women they are becoming under Kim’s mentorship.

Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area. When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.

November 2019 | 19

How to Bring Danish Comfort into Your Home

by Tiffany Edison

I

often stake claim to being a fall person, because it absolutely is my favorite time of year in Michigan.

The crisp air, gorgeous color change, and the desire to “nest” are among my most treasured rites of passage. This combination, along with the recognition that winter will soon be upon us, awakens in me the desire to prepare my home for the holiday season. I liken this feeling to hunting and gathering, and attribute this instinctive drive to create a

20 | The Brick Magazine

comfortable environment throughout the winter months as the ultimate indulgence.

Interestingly enough, there has been a phenomenon gaining popularity in the United States in the past couple of years, based on Scandinavian principles of restraint and effortless comfort. Hygge, pronounced “hoo-gah,” is defined as “a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that

There have been multiple books about hygge published in the United States in recent years, including The Little Book of Hygge, a New York Times bestseller written by Dane Meik Wiking. In its purest form, this Danish term is a way of life, emblazoned in the Scandi psyche. It is not something one can buy, but a feeling. After reading up a bit on this topic, I couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that our nation’s obsession with happiness is often linked to how we compare ourselves to other nations around the globe and their ability to achieve it! Denmark clocks in as the world’s happiest country, according to the 2016 World Happiness Report, attributing their good fortune to quality time spent with friends and family and focusing on the good things in life. Other Danes, such as Sofie Hagen, highlight the Scandinavian tax model arguing that when free university education, social security, universal health care, and paid family leave are all taken care of, it frees one up from stress, allowing for a better quality of life. In many respects, this principle reminds me of the mantra my yoga teacher often repeats about being mindful and present: “Mindfulness costs nothing, but the return is invaluable.” I feel in some small way that is what we are all searching for on our path to happiness and well-being.

Regardless if you practice yoga, hygge, or simply consumerism, I will say that there is most definitely an aesthetic associated with this phenomenon, or at least the marketed version. Given the Scandinavia’s long, cold winters, it should come as no surprise that creating a warm environment in one’s home is at the top of the list. This can take the form of a roaring fire in the living room hearth, or even be as simple as a few simple candles scattered throughout the home. The goal is to create a calming environment, and let’s face it, there are not many things more romantic than candles and a crackling fire. Add in the comforts of loungewear and a soft blanket, and you have set the scene for a perfect hygge moment.

Photo by Dallin Hassard

engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.”

With its increasing popularity in the States, it has also garnered a rather broad band of skeptics who believe that hygge is just a clever marketing scheme hijacked by big business in an effort to serve its own commercial interests.

Namely, to increase sales of candles, blankets, and yes, even sheepskin rugs.

Softening your space through neutral paint colors is also a way to create a relaxing oasis at home. The use of a single paint color such as white, cream, or even a pale blush throughout the home can create a cohesive look that is comforting to the eye. I also love to use fabric at the windows to soften spaces and give character to each designated room. Textured wallpaper, such as grass cloth, can also add depth and offer a nice contrast to a crisp paint job.

If you are not a fan of using wallpaper, you could opt for a textured rug or knit tapestry to ground a special room in

November 2019 | 21

Photo by Jeff Garland

22 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Kira auf der Heide

your home. And don’t forget to bring on the wood! I have long been a big fan of reclaimed wood, whether in the form of beams on the ceiling or a rustic coffee table—wooden items have a way of making us feel grounded and closer to nature. What is of paramount importance is surrounding yourself with items that bring you joy and offer a sense of contentment. These are just a few of the ways that hygge (in its aesthetic form) can be achieved. But why stop there?

It is equally important to calm the mind…

If you have ever heard the adage that a “cluttered desk is a cluttered mind,” then you would be wise to practice organizing your home environment for efficient, stressfree living. Don’t allow odds and ends to pile up, creating a chaotic setting. My advice is to create a system for how you organize high-traffic areas in your home, whether it be the kitchen, mudroom, or home office. Baskets and bins can maintain the order of toys or bills, and offer a practical way of knowing where something is at all times. Additionally, by keeping surfaces in the home clear from clutter, there is an overall sense of peace of mind. Just think of all the time you’ll save knowing where your keys are when you are heading out the door to work. Better yet, you will not have lost your mind in the process of trying to locate them! Which brings me to my final point: when your home feels relaxed and organized, you can allow yourself to be

present and fully enjoy quality time with those you love.

With all these warm, fuzzy feelings you have created, you will undoubtedly want to extend an invitation to friends and family to gather around your table and share a meal chockfull of good old-fashioned comfort food.

No matter which label is used to designate the feeling of contentment, or the difference in opinion of how it is ultimately achieved, it is clear that as human beings we all desire inner peace and connection. As the colder months inch ever so much closer in our little corner of the world, we can take comfort in knowing that we are not alone. We can practice being present and grateful. We can celebrate our likeness to those near and far.

Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects.

She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She has a wonderfully large blended family residing in the city and enjoys the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her active on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates November 2019 | 23

Photo by Dan Gold

Settling into Winter W

by Monica Brancheau

hen I begin to feel that breeze become crispy, see the leaves dancing through the sky on their descent to the ground, and smell the earth beginning to go to sleep, I get a tingle of excitement.

I know this is not the normal reaction to “Winter is Coming.” Many leave as soon they can to bask in the sunny warmth of a tropical destination. Many plan numerous vacations during these upcoming months so they can avoid as much of this weather as they possibly can. I, on the other hand, relish this time; here are some reasons why:

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1. I REALLY like wearing leggings, long sweaters, chunky scarves, and boots. This is the time when my large boxes of winter clothes come out so I can perform the bi-yearly ritual: “the closet swap.” It’s like my birthday and Christmas combined when I pull out clothes that I have completely forgotten about. I will exclaim out loud, “I missed you so much, fuzzy sweater!” as if it was my long lost friend.

2. I don’t have to spend hours every day taking care of my garden. I live on two acres and I love it, but

it’s a TON of work. I definitely am not a farmer, so

by October, I’ve basically maxed out on weeding, watering flowers, and taking care of the lawn. Perfect timing, because now I don’t have to.

3. Time to get my BAKE on. I love baking. There is something so satisfying about making breads, pies, and cookies—being there to smell those heavenly smells, and not have to sweat out of your house because your oven has been on all day.

4. I get more sleep. Something about it being dark starting at around 6pm makes my internal clock think I need to go to bed sooner. I fought sleep for so many years, but I now selfishly choose sleep above just about everything else.

5. My favorite holidays are around the corner! I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. The traditions, the food, the family time…basically all of it. Transforming my house from its everyday décor to making my house look like a little Christmas puked all over it is definitely living my best life.

6. Let the binge-watching begin! I always think I will have SO much time in the summer, and then before I

know it, summer is over and I think to myself, “What just happened?” I have not seen any friends, I haven’t gone downtown enough, AND I haven’t bingewatched at all. The winter months are the best bingewatching months. There is no guilt associated with watching five episodes in a row when it’s cold and gray outside. It’s the best way to spend winter time.

Although I love the anticipation of the colder months and relish it in the beginning, I’m not going to lie that by February, I am DONE and wishing winter away every day.

And that is when I take my vacation to a warm place so I can then begin to get excited about spring.

Monica Brancheau is a woman who has had multiple careers while juggling being a mom of four and nurturing a passion for dance. She is a Michigan native and graduate of the University of Michigan. Decades of experience in working with children’s issues—from education to non-profit work in urban settings, as well as non-profit management, marketing, and fundraising—has led her to become the current Director of Ele’s Place Ann Arbor. When she’s not working, you can find her gardening, reading, writing, and spending time with her treasured family.

November 2019 | 25

for personal

& planetary thriving

When Life Is in Flux...

by Morella Devost, EdM, MA

Photo by Mourad Saadi

I

’ve always been a homebody. In fact, as a perfectly split introvert-extrovert, I have found that I can come dangerously close to becoming a hermit if I don’t schedule tea dates with colleagues, lunches with friends, and seek out social engagements. The convenience of working from home for the past five years has meant that I can easily find myself not leaving the house for an entire week if I’m not careful.

I love the coziness of home. I especially adore the inward journey towards which winter always beckons me. Blazing fires in the wood stove while sipping tea. Wearing fuzzy socks and reading a good novel on a plush couch. The smell of apple pie and the spices of chili emerging from the oven and slow-cooker. Embracing the change of seasons brings such delight to my heart. Perhaps it’s a result of having grown up in the tropics, where there are no seasons.

There’s an earthy feeling I get from settling in. I’m also really good at it. Did I mention I love being at home?

But what about when life throws curveballs at us, challenging our desire to settle? How do you nest when 26 | The Brick Magazine

no sooner have you thought things were becoming still, than you find yourself in fresh new change?

That’s what my life has been this past year. Constant flux.

Relentless change. Every month seemingly bringing a new turn of events.

January saw my husband of three years and I agreeing to separate. Big grief and transition took possession of the rest of January and February. When March rolled around, he moved out. So then March and April were about releasing our relationship and opening to what would come next.

When May started, we agreed to file for divorce. It was spring outside, and I philosophized that I was seeing the spring of my new life on the inside. I was ready to create space for the single life. Though I wasn’t exactly excited to date, I was embracing the spaciousness of living by myself again. Alas, it was not to be so…

By mid-May, I was surprisingly and suddenly connecting with a man I had met two years ago. No sooner had he learned I was getting a divorce that he reached out. The connection was instant and deep. By mid-June, we were

in a committed relationship; and by September 1st, I was fully moved in with him and his daughter. I was ready to settle in for the fall and winter. But wait, there’s more…

Arriving in the beauty of Lincoln, surrounded by mountains, to live a small-town life with my partner and (step-)daughter was exciting. I was eager to nest, to focus on my business again, to prep for fall and winter. But nope, that was not to be…

By mid-October, we had sold the house! Forget nesting.

We had to pack and move…onto a sailboat! Into a life of adventure and constant moving. No permanent zip code.

Yes, my life has been defined by change this past year.

A lot of the change has been hard and painful. And still another large part of it has been joyful and promising.

Yet amidst all of this change there will be no change of seasons for me. No vegetable canning. No fall baking, stew-making, or woodstove lighting. We’re sailing into the everlasting summer of the Caribbean.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not whining about living on a sailboat! It’s an extraordinary experience we’re elated to be able to do. And yet, the homebody in me, the one that thrives in coziness and grounded existence, is a little bit anxious.

As I write these lines, it is still early September…we have not yet moved onto the boat and I wonder, how will I create the sense of place that helps me thrive? How will I create my office-space on board? My friend Judith Tamarah, an excellent space and design consultant, gave me a huge pointer: “ground yourself and your work around items that can go with you anywhere.”

So far, I have identified three crystals that have been on my desk for years. My fist-sized rose quartz, my amethyst scone-like triangle, and my three-inch selenite bullet. Also my pocket pendulum, and my favorite pens. My lavender wool pashmina that can wrap me when I need to settle into writing, and remind me of the cozy places I’m leaving back in Vermont.

ENGAGING

Also in flux was my work and office space. In the middle of my divorce, I realized I could no longer do the health coaching portion of my business. I only had energy and passion to continue supporting my counseling and hypnosis clients. And my longtime office in my condo’s second bedroom became my mother’s room when she came to stay with me from late May through the end of July. When she arrived, I moved my office into my bedroom. By the end of the summer, my office was moving along with me to Lincoln.

Head Hear t Hands

Offering a PreK-12 Independent Education for Creative, Critical Thinkers Community Focus Flexible Tuition Open Houses Nov 5, 9, & 14 734-669-9394 admissions@steinerschool.org steinerschool.org The key for me this fall and winter will be to create the nesting within. Of course I’ll have some nesting to do on the boat as well, as I help create a home for my family inside its fiberglass hull. I am a big believer in creating spaces that help us thrive, that bring out the best in us and our families. Perhaps that can be done anywhere; not just on land.

I will no doubt miss the coziness of a hot cup of Tulsi in my hands as I sit by the woodstove, reading a book… but I’m excited at the prospect of sipping my tea as I watch the sunrise, on a rocking sailboat, somewhere in the Caribbean. Nesting and coziness perhaps can be of our own creation.

Morella Devost facilitates profound transformation for people who want to thrive in every aspect of life. After receiving two masters degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she also became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Holistic Health Coach. Morella is a VenezuelanVermonter who works with people all over the world. www.thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella November 2019 | 27

The Essential Link Between Planning and Nesting

by Gail Barker, B.A., C.P.C.C.

Photo by Saad Chaudhry

A

change of seasons is in the air, and with the palpable shift in energy often comes a desire to nest. At least, that’s the common belief. Particularly as we transition from summer to fall and then from fall to winter, we are invited to prepare for what lies ahead, to settle down into a new space, more so than at any other time of year.

Why is that? Why does this time of year pull us toward a different sort of “preparation?” Here’s my take: nesting is about so much more than mere preparation.

Being in preparation mode is about having a plan of action.

It’s about clarifying your destination, choosing a direction, and then articulating and following a set of steps to move in that direction with a clear end in sight.

28 | The Brick Magazine

Nesting, however, is bigger than that. Nesting is what happens when practical planning meets energetic awareness. Nesting requires us to pay attention to what’s happening on the inner landscape of our minds and bodies, what we feel in the energy around us, and what is calling to us beyond a particular outcome. This is why the call to nest is so powerful at this time of year.

Energetically, this time of year is about shifting energy, far more than it is about reaching goals and objectives. That’s not to say that we can’t set goals or objectives at this time of year. Nor is it to say that goals can’t be achieved during this season. Rather, it’s a reminder to us that at this time of year, it behooves us to consciously create the container in which we will achieve our goals and attain our objectives.

These same sorts of questions can be tweaked when we enter the nesting phase of any preparatory process. As I said earlier, within the grand context of life there’s a way that nesting energy seems to be more present in the fall of each year. That’s not to say that it’s the only time that it can happen, however. Nesting can happen any time you are engaged in a time of change. Nesting is about widening your planning lens, and softening your focus so that you don’t just pay attention to the practical, but instead stretch to include the energetic.

Important nesting questions can include the following: Why does this matter?

What am I striving to create?

What problem am I solving?

What will be different when this is done?

How do I want to be?

How will this serve?

There are a myriad of other questions, obviously. And the common thread is the focus on a big picture engagement, the energy of the container in which goals are achieved.

This is the lesson that I myself learned many years ago— the distinction between “nesting” and “preparing.” It was in the context of being pregnant with my first child (which likely won’t surprise you—this is a common experience).

Prior to the nesting phase of my prenatal journey, I did a lot of planning. My husband and I were pretty deliberate about the nuts and bolts of what needed to be done: the appointments to attend, the furniture to buy, the financial details to take care of—all very practical things.

All of a sudden, there was a way that my heart got engaged in the process; my heart was paying attention to things like how I wanted to be as a parent. What was the energy of the home we were trying to create? How did we want to be with each other and with our child?

Bottom-line: nesting isn’t something reserved for those who are about to expand their family. The nesting process is actually a pivotal piece of any planning process, one that happens naturally, and one that can be tremendously powerful when engaged in consciously. Give yourself permission to play in the energy of nesting, no matter what project you’re working on. The end result will be so much more aligned with the vision you’re trying to bring to life.

Gail Barker is a Certified Professional CoActive Coach. She specializes in supporting leaders to lead powerfully and meaningfully.

Her company, Stellar Coaching & Consulting, was established in 2013, and through that platform she has supported hundreds of leaders in elevating their leadership game. A few of the additional hats she wears professionally are author, speaker, and radio show host. Personally, she is deeply committed to her family, loves to read, and finds deep restoration when walking along the beach (even in the winter).

Website: www.stellarcc.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/stellarcc Twitter: stellar7

November 2019 | 29

A Woven Pocket of Safety and Warmth

by Madeleine Forbes Photo by Nico Jacobs

30 | The Brick Magazine

A

s the year wanes and the sweet, sad shedding of the autumn works its magic, a new question arises, for those of us who pay attention to these things.

As you enter the soft, warm cave of winter, what will you choose to line your nest with?

And, perhaps more importantly, what will you choose to leave behind?

Whether or not you’re someone who consciously connects to each season of the year, winter necessitates a drawing inward.

The days grow shorter; the temperatures lower and the rain falls heavier. On the farm, the woodstove becomes the fulcrum around which our days pivot. Chopping, stacking, and carrying wood brings a rhythm steady as summer’s watering. The stovetop barely cools each night before the fire is lit once more, for endless pans of soup and pots of tea, roasting meat and baking cakes.

Our homes become havens. Shake out umbrellas, shed woollen layers, slip off heavy boots, and we can be held by the warm, bright spaces once more. I’m sure you have your own list of winter essentials—the stocks and stores to see you through the coming weeks.

My nest is stocked with teas, spices, and orange peels for simmering with sticks of cinnamon, in water or red wine.

I’m a snuggler, a lounger, and so the house is piled with well-worn blankets, soft things to root cold feet under, pillows to nap on while the wind roars outside.

I demand good slippers—the local sheepskin ones are my favourite. Knitted socks. A hand-knitted sweater, preferably in a hideous design. A selection of well-loved woolen hats.

Stylish I may not be, but by golly I’m warm.

Beyond the physical things, however, fun as they are to assemble, lies the deeper question. A nest is by its nature a place of nurture, a woven pocket of safety and warmth. As true winter approaches, I try to make a point of spending some time considering what I’d like to bring with me into it.

Who are the people I love most? Who fills me with hope and laughter bright enough to light a winter’s night? Who will I choose to invite into my nest this year, to kick off their shoes and lie down by the fire with me?

What dreams do I want to settle in with, to hold and keep warm? Winter’s not a time for action. It’s a time for letting go of expectation, of returning to the marvellous imaginings that stir our spirits with nothing but love—no pressure, no deadlines. Only delight at what we can think up, and reverence for the mysterious processes that will call them forth. Like a bird on her eggs, I like to tuck my future visions in with me, knowing they’ll come forth when the light returns in spring.

What stories do I want to hear? And what do I want to tell? I’m no purist, believe me. Netflix is as valid a fireside as any these days. What matters is how captivating, delighted, thrilled, and transported I am by the tales I’m hearing. Going on a voyage with a marvellous storyteller is the kind of travel gloomy nights were made for. Every nest should have a stash of favorite tales and well-thumbed pages, of gasps and adventures, tears and nostalgia.

Finally, what am I ready to leave behind? What old commitments, outgrown ambitions, unhelpful inner voices can stay outside? What voices am I happy to silence, as I retreat—to be carried away on the wind, transmuted under the snow?

Nesting is an art; it’s one I’m learning to refine each year.

Come spring, I’ll be restless and ready to shake things out and roar into action, but for now, I’m going in.

Madeleine Forbes is a writer, walker, and unapologetic neglecter of her inbox. Born in London, she left city life in 2014 to start an off-grid life in the hills of central Portugal. She’s founder of The Seasoned Year, an online project to help us deepen our connection to seasonal cycles. Most recently she’s exploring a new response to the climate crisis, rooted in the cycle of the year and our craving for deeper connection. You can sign up for free Letters from the Land and follow Madeleine’s blog via her website; or follow her on Instagram or Facebook.

November 2019 | 31

Hygge: Cozy and Connected

by Charlotte Kaye

H

ygge. It’s a concept regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture. How do you pronounce it? Let’s save that for another article.

Yes, there are many books, articles, and podcasts on the topic of hygge. Perhaps it’s my Danish roots, but as soon as I learned of

32 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Monika Grabkowska

this concept, it immediately resonated with me. For me, hygge can be simplified to two main concepts: cozy and connected.

Cozy. Cozy refers to feeling warm, to living slowly, savoring; to being yourself and honoring when you want to be around others and when you want to be alone.

It’s appreciating the small things—a warm cup of tea, a beautiful candle, a soft blanket. When traveling, it means exploring the small spaces, the in-betweens: cafes, parks, shops, neighborhoods—really ingraining yourself in the feel and energy of the space you are inhabiting. It means warm cozy clothes and layers that make you feel swaddled and safe.

Connected. Connected to yourself, to your intuition, to the universe. Connected to others; to friends, family, partners, etc. For me, this also means connecting to clients, to Instagram followers, to all the real human beings behind the profiles, the people that support me and my business.

Connection shows up in my coaching sessions with clients as we work to get closer and closer to them connecting to themselves. We connect to eliminate the separation between them and their true selves, and therefore eliminate the separation between them and others.

Here are some simple ways to incorporate hygge into your life:

Create your cozy space: 1. Put your phone on silent. There is nothing worse than a million buzzes and beeps while you are trying to relax.

2. Light candles and get a fire going (the fireplace video on Netflix works just as well).

3. Grab a warm blanket and wrap up in a cozy sweater.

Thick socks are a favorite here, too.

4. Brew something warm to drink. A beautiful cup of coffee or a warm tea.

5. Play soft calming music. There are plenty of amazing playlists online; my go-to is Cat Stevens.

6. Savor. Hygge is all about leisure, spending time on nothing at all “productive.” Just be with yourself; forget the to-do list and enjoy the present moment as much as possible.

Enrich your connection: 1. Meditate: There is no better or simpler way to learn about yourself than to take time each day to observe your thoughts. Notice I said “observe your thoughts,” not silence them. Yes, sometimes silencing the thoughts happens and that is great, but don’t let that be your goal and then give up when you can’t stop them. The goal of meditation is to learn to create

distance between yourself and your thoughts so you can ask if they are true, or if they are serving you. Just five minutes a day is a huge start!

2. Journal: Write however feels best to you. I use a Word doc on my computer to journal and just let my thoughts free-flow stream-of-consciousness-style for as long as feels good. I call it my sacred morning writing. Give yours a name if it motivates you to keep at it.

3. Declutter your closet: Discard items that no longer align with who you are in this present moment. Get rid of anything that is an old version of you that you may be clinging on to, and anything you anticipate wearing when you are a future version of yourself.

Focus on the items that fit you well and make you feel like your best self, right now.

4. Get a reading: Assessments from the practical to the spiritual can provide valuable insight into who you are. Some of my favorite tools are astrology, human design, strengthsfinder, Myers- Briggs, etc. You can find out your different types easily online and do your own research or invest in a reading. Let me warn you, the accuracy can be downright spooky!

5. Practice slow movement: Moving into your body through dance, yoga, or going for walks can help process emotions that may be keeping you removed from your most peaceful, loving self.

6. Make a coffee date: Spend time over a mug of something warm and soothing with someone that lights you up. This person should be someone you can be totally yourself with and that you can talk to for hours. Indulge in this human connection.

Charlotte Kaye aka airy fairy feminist is a life coach and podcaster. Charlotte helps millennial women take back control of their lives and end the chase after other people’s expectations. Charlotte does this through teaching them how to set boundaries, end people-pleasing, and take care of themselves guilt-free. At the end of coaching, they aren’t afraid to be who they are and say “f*ck it” to everything else. Charlotte is also the creator of the online course “Be You: Awaken Your Inner Badass” an online self-study course to find who you are, say “no” to everything else, and take back control of your life. She provides content designed to support and empower all women, because she believes that whole happy individuals lead to a peaceful, inclusive world.

Website: www.airyfairyfeminist.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/airyfairyfeminist/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/airyfairyfeministcoach

November 2019 | 33

WOMAN ON THE STREET

In Praise of Waiting

by Stella Orange Photo by Anthony Tran

34 | The Brick Magazine

W

hen I was a kid, we had a Commodore 64 computer. It had all the classic accoutrements of eighties computing: joystick, floppy disk, pixelated graphics.

I remember having to code the formatting for my high school English papers. But the biggest thing about those early years was that, after you inserted a floppy disk with the program you wanted to play into the disk drive, you had to wait for the program to load. Sometimes it was quick. And other times it could take several minutes.

In the checkout line at the grocery store, sometimes there are several people in front of me, their carts brimming with groceries.

At the airport, sometimes I have to run to catch my next flight, and other times I find myself with hours to wait.

Waiting is a funny business. It’s a gap between where you want to go and where you are now. And typically, there is nothing we can do to speed it up. It’s out of our control. But what if waiting is actually something great?

Here are some things I have come to relish about waiting: It slows you down. Out in the world, I often need a moment to catch my breath and process the events, interactions, and conversations I’ve had. When I have to wait, I get a chance to down-shift out of doing, into being. It usually takes me a minute, but if I’m able to switch out of “go” mode, there’s usually something useful waiting for me in the moment.

It opens the door for being present.

Too often, when I’m on a mission, I’m not as receptive to serendipity that may not neatly fit my predetermined agenda. When I have to wait at the doctor’s office or for someone to call me back, it gives me a chance to notice, contemplate, and receive.

People-watching! When I’m waiting, I get to see a dad being sweet with his kid, or the old couple that’s dressed to the nines holding hands.

I look at people’s shoes. I notice people’s haircuts. I eavesdrop on conversations. This is better than cable!

It gives you the chance to add magic. In the space between wanting something to happen and it actually happening, there is potency. Expectancy. Possibility.

Even pleasure. Instead of trying to hurry things up, I try to practice relishing the time it takes for things to happen. I tell myself a little story about why the waiting is perfect.

This makes the anticipation part of the process, and sprinkles a little good juju on it.

Things take time to happen. To grow.

To change. To emerge. Instead of trying to hurry that process up, or distract ourselves, what if we savored the particular joys of waiting?

Stella Orange is a copywriter and co-founder of Las Peregrinas, a business advising and marketing service company. Find out more about her work at www.lasperegrinas.org

November 2019 | 35

Dynasty’s “Femperial” Is the Future

by Sophia Papadopoulos 36 | The Brick Magazine

L

ike most Americans, I’ve spent a large part of this past summer binge-watching television.

However, between the true crime documentaries and reality shows, one series has really gotten me thinking.

The drama show Dynasty, and more specifically the character Fallon Carrington, has highlighted the common problems that women face in the business field. I love watching Fallon carry herself because it is undeniable that this woman embodies ambition and confidence with poise and class. All of this is rare on its own, but becomes even more impressive because of how others treat her as a result of her success. Fallon is constantly dismissed as unequipped and arrogant even as we, the audience, see just how amazing and talented she really is.

This treatment does not come as a shock to women who have been going above and beyond their job descriptions only to be overlooked for the promotion. I was on the edge of my seat watching the scene where Fallon wakes up to this reality after realizing she’s being purposefully left out of her publishing house’s weekly board meetings. And I was giddy when, in standard drama TV fashion, Fallon outsmarts all the gray hair and testosterone in the boardroom by founding her own publishing house called Femperial, a company dedicated to empowering women by only publishing female authors with something to say. I felt inspired and ready to strike out on my own, to be the change I saw Fallon make real on the television.

Luckily, in the classic way of “life imitating art,” this female-empowerment-focused message can already be seen making waves in the business world. Billie has been “built for all womankind,” a social mission centered around women empowerment and diversity inclusion.

The Billie brand embodies these values by selling their shaving products without the pink tax and promoting women of all shapes and sizes, shaggy or smooth, throughout their marketing campaigns. Additionally, this trend can be seen beyond female empowerment.

Glossier prides itself on being a “people-powered beauty ecosystem,” a social mission about personal choice and beauty from within. They showcase their skincare products as the first step and their makeup products as an extension of one’s personal liberties.

This message for empowerment goes beyond women’s issues and extends to the broader scope of things that people care about, most notably the environment. Love Beauty and Planet has grounded their brand to “giving a little love to the planet,” an eco-friendly-focused social mission. They emphasize selling products that are vegan, carbon-conscious, all natural ingredients, cruelty-free, sulfate-free, and paraben-free. The brand Stuffster revolves around the phrase “No unused stuff.” Their app allows people all over the world resell, repair, rent, recycle, and donate their things through the company’s circular model.

All of the businesses mentioned have been founded in the past five years and are recognizable and highly successful.

It’s clear that social messages being directly aligned with brands are popping up more and more, but why?

Spoiler alert! It’s because the world is waking up to what Fallon and the Femperial brand perfectly understand: people connect to a brand because it aligns with their social conscience, not their wallet. The Gen-Z generation prioritizes message over money, which means that brands who can connect with people around political, environmental, cultural, and global issues are those that will find success. These are the brands that are willing to take a stand, to be confident and relentless with a voice—thanks to social media—that can’t be ignored. Which means new businesses will be even more unapologetic when serving their mission of being female-first, inclusive, and/or eco-friendly. And by caring passionately about a topic, these businesses will end up finding financial success too.

Now, what will be the next Femperial?

Sophia Papadopoulos is a senior at Huron High School, where she studies business and writing. She has interned in multiple marketing roles and is the acting Co-Chair for the Ann Arbor Area Community Foundation Youth Council. When she is not studying, working, or volunteering, she spends her time dancing ballet and writing for publications.

She is passionate about spreading her ideas and ideologies of woman empowerment, business, and the world.

Instagram: @sophia.papad

November 2019 | 37

The November Nest

by Marilyn A. Pellini

Photo by Radek Grzybowsk

H

umans are not like their bird counterparts, who set out every spring finding twigs, dried grasses, and any other bits of useful materials they spot when flying on high. Birds know that spring is approaching, and the females will soon be having baby birds who need a home. They must feather their nest in preparation. It will need to be sturdy and large enough to hold the mother and squawking babies awaiting the food she or the father will provide. It must be built aloft in the branches of a tree safe and far from the reaches of predators.

Man, on the other hand, begins to prepare his nest when the first chill hits the air in the fall. He gets his yard clear of leaves and takes in all that cannot withstand the harsh winter weather. His windows might need some extra caulking and doors might need to be checked for weather stripping that will keep the heat in and the elements out.

In cold weather areas, winter clothing is out now in abundance in the stores. A sturdy winter jacket is a must and so are boots to plow through piles of deep snow. With the Christmas season fast approaching, this is the time when all is plentiful and in all sizes. It is time to spruce up your winter wardrobe for those long months of cold ahead. It might even be an opportunity to start holiday

38 | The Brick Magazine

shopping early, and cash in on pre-season sales and beat the crunch in December.

Warm comforters and throws are dug out of their cleaner’s bags along with that patchwork quilt Grammie made so many years ago. Before my son was a toddler, I decided to knit him an afghan. Alas, I did not know how to crochet, so knit it was. It needed to completely cover his twin bed, and I was so excited to find a modernistic pattern in red, white, and blue.

His dad was in the Navy at that time, so what could be more fitting for my little son’s room? Well, being new to knitting, I didn’t realize how much time it would take to complete a work of that size. I brought my knitting anywhere I could, as long as I would not offend anyone. I even brought it to the movie theater. You’d be surprised how light and bright it is in there, and comfy too—perfect for knitting and yet not missing a moment of the picture. It did eventually get completed, and it is now permanently in his possession.

If you are lucky enough to have a gas fireplace, not too many problems arise when preparing to put it into service. A wood burning fireplace, however, needs an endless supply of wood or those slow-burning composite logs you can buy at the supermarket. What if you have a wood burning stove though?

You had better have logs aplenty to literally go out and chop or

have a place nearby that can deliver a truckload that is already cut. Be careful not to put the logs too close to the house though, because if you should not use it all during the winter, it begins to deteriorate and can attract termites. We made that mistake one year and had to have that area of the house sprayed by an exterminator. We learned a valuable lesson.

Our cars need their own form of nesting; making sure that all is in working order for the season of cold and ice is a must. Tires should have good tread, and in some areas of the country they should be replaced with tires especially geared to driving in hazardous conditions. Don’t forget to put a window scraper and a shovel (they make folding ones) into your truck; I always carry a spare blanket as well. I only live in New York, but being a woman who travels alone to visit the grandkids in the snow belt of Massachusetts, I want to be prepared for any eventuality. I try to keep a broom and shovel at the entrance of my garage, as sometimes the melting snow from my car makes the edge a bit slippery, and then I can crack up and sweep up whatever is a problem. I try not to be paranoid, but winter hazards, at my less-thanyoung age, could be a catastrophe with breaking a leg or hip.

It is imperative that everyone makes sure their property is clear of ice and snow for the trash collector and mailman. In our town, they clear the sidewalks in the business area and around the schools, but the rest of us have to do our own.

Our pets need special attention and preparation for the harsh effects of winter. Nature has them grow thicker, warmer fur, but they too can suffer the effects of ice and snow. It is not unusual to see a dog wearing a coat these days, especially those little tiny dogs whose own thin bodies could not possibly provide them with enough warmth. Even man’s body prepares itself for the onslaught of winter and cold. It could be that we don’t get enough exercise, or because of holiday overindulging, but I for one have been known to gain ten pounds of winter fat, which keeps me warm! Of course as the new year approaches, I have to make a resolution to have that extra layer of chunk gone by the first day of spring. Well, maybe May 1st would be okay, as we are not in revealing clothes and certainly not in bathing suits until we are well into June.

We are nested and snug and warm in our cozy houses as the holiday season approaches. I live in a house built in 1933 and am lucky enough to have steam heat. Growing up in New England that was the norm, but I always thought radiators in a room were just so ugly. I simply had mine covered and they totally blend in with my wall color. I don’t care what you say, but I’m a true proponent of oil heat. I set my thermostat at 70 degrees, and every single time I go to look at the thermometer it is exactly 70 degrees. I had another home that had a hot air type of heat. It seemed that one minute you were cold and the next you were too hot.

So, we have battened down the hatches and are ready to face whatever Mother Nature throws at us. Some of us are lucky enough to be retired, and instead of facing walls of snow and ice we are lounging on a warm, sunny beach somewhere. Those of us still out earning a living in areas our ancestors had no business settling in will have some struggles for three, four, and even five months. How can we forfeit, however, the joys and the festivities of the holidays that go along with the coming of cold weather?

Thanksgiving will soon be upon us. The prospect of a turkey roasting in the oven and the smell of fresh baked pies makes the thoughts of home and hearth ever so appealing. The kids will be home from college. Family and friends will be side-by-side in harmony and family togetherness, warm and cozy by the fire talking of this same holiday long ago that the Pilgrims experienced in such harsh conditions.

We often get nostalgic and remember back to this Thanksgiving when our grandparents were alive, and we sat at the table for hours on end eating courses that were literally soup to nuts. Being of Italian heritage, we would start with antipasto, graduate to soup followed by manicotti or lasagna, and then commence to embrace our new American heritage with a complete turkey dinner.

Next came desserts, some traditional pumpkin and apple pie, but also Italian specialties. The nut and fruit course followed, and all was washed down with fine Italian red wine. The day would slowly, hesitatingly end. No one wanted to leave. No one wanted to go out to brace the cold at this hour of the night. Yet, there was an air of excitement as some were preparing for Black Friday.

Going out to start holiday shopping in the middle of the night had an air of adventure. Everyone was already excited about the Christmas season and all the other celebrations during that special month to come.

The saying “Home is where the heart is” at holiday time is especially true. Being nestled together for celebrating makes us all realize how bountiful our life and country really are, and how lucky we are to have warm clothes and homes. Thanksgiving is the time we ponder our own Horn of Plenty and appreciate family and abundance. Happy Thanksgiving one and all!

Marilyn Pellini has recently published a grief book titled Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances. Her other credits as a writer include recent articles in Brick Magazine titled “Memories in My Button Jar” and “Restructuring My World,” pieces in Westchester Parent Magazine, Bay State Parent Magazine, On The Water, Balanced Rock, and others. In May 2018, she took the first place prize in the NY State Federation of Women’s Clubs writing contest.

CBD Is Everywhere

by Lisa Profera, MD Photo by Justin Aikin

A

s I wrote in last month’s article: “The science is finally catching up with what people have known and experienced for thousands of years. These are exciting times.” In the previous article, I discussed CBD (cannabidiol), the new superhero of plant-based medicine and how it works in our endocannabinoid system (ECS).

Humans have evolved on this planet with cannabis plants for thousands of years, and our bodies recognize

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cannabinoids and terpenes as natural compounds. Cannabis was used as medicine in the Neolithic era as early as 12,000 years ago, and has continued to be used in some capacity in numerous cultures throughout history. The vilification of cannabis as a dangerous and toxic substance is relatively recent history—an idea that only gained traction in the US in the early 1900s—and was mostly driven by political and racist agendas (more details on this found in the book Smoke Signals by Martin Lee, 2012).

It turns out that cannabis is an amazing medicinal plant with hundreds of biologically active components. The biochemical constituents that exist in a plant extract are naturally balanced and do not act alone. In fact, the symphony of compounds packaged by nature work better together— greater than the sum of their individual parts. This is known as synergy, and is commonly referred to as the “entourage effect.” Pharmaceuticals are synthetic isolates (mostly single chemicals mimicking something natural). When something is packaged in an “unnatural form,” the natural response of our immune system is to react to the foreign invader, to reject it or fight against it. This is why so many people experience side effects from synthetic pharmaceuticals and over-thecounter medications.

As part of my lifestyle medicine practice, I do recommend medical marijuana products for my patients with qualifying medical conditions as outlined by the State of Michigan. Cancer, PTSD, autism, arthritis, cerebral palsy, inflammatory bowel disease, Parkinson’s, HIV, and many more conditions qualify for medical marijuana use.

These guidelines also include any conditions that cause chronic pain, muscle spasms, seizures, severe nausea, or cachexia. See the complete list at the link at the bottom of this article*. As more and more compelling research is published, more conditions are added. Dr. Tod’s list of chronic conditions treated with cannabis can give you an idea of its potential**.

Many of these patients suffer chronic pain conditions which are otherwise debilitating, causing loss of function and loss of work days. CBD is a non-psychoactive chemical found in medical marijuana that is a potent pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant. It also reduces nausea, anxiety, relaxes muscles, and relieves spasms.

Many of these patients would otherwise be dependent on other anti-inflammatory agents, which can have serious gastrointestinal side effects, and/or opioids, which can cause dependence, addiction, and death.

Overuse of prescription narcotics has become a huge problem in the medical field in the USA. In fact, states that have legalized medical marijuana have noticed a sharp decline in the number of narcotic prescriptions and opioid overdose-related deaths. CBD oil is a safe, effective alternative that has helped many people lead functional lives. There are no cannabinoid receptors in the brainstem, so medical marijuana cannot cause respiratory depression (the cause of death in opioid overdose). Since I have been helping people with CBD for a few years, it is very gratifying to hear that they are doing much better two to three years later when I see them for a follow-up visit— off of opioids and many other synthetic medications.

What is the difference between CBD derived from hemp and CBD derived from marijuana?

This is where the nomenclature gets confusing. Hemp and marijuana are the same cannabis plant. The federal government has defined a plant as “hemp” when it contains less than 0.3% THC by dry weight (Section 7606 of the Agricultural Act, recently renewed when Congress approved the 2018 Farm Bill). THC, CBD, and the other phytocannabinoids are produced mainly by the trichomes of female flowers; a very small amount is produced in the leaves.

By this definition, every female cannabis plant is considered “hemp” until it flowers and produces THC. The male plants are mostly used for breeding or are discarded. There are some rare strains of cannabis that are naturally low in THC while having very high amounts of CBD and other phytocannabinoids. Finding a grower that has these strains is considered the “golden ticket” of medical cannabis.

This definition of “hemp” is arbitrary and has no scientific basis. Historically, industrial hemp referred to the strains of cannabis used for rope, canvas, and other fiber-derived products. Because it typically has low concentrations of phytocannabinoids, it was not used for medicine. The 0.3% was a taxonomic delineation found in a botanical textbook, not a medical one (A Practical and Natural Taxonomy for Cannabis by Small and Cronquist, 1976). Even though you will find CBD products virtually everywhere you look these days, the FDA does not recognize hemp-derived CBD as a food supplement or a medicine. CBD oil from cannabis with greater than 0.3% THC is considered medical marijuana. CBD oil from marijuana plants with less than 0.3% is considered medicinally superior to that derived from industrial hemp.

Since 1970, THC has been considered a Schedule I drug, along with heroin, LSD, and ecstasy. Schedule I substances are considered dangerous and have “no currently accepted medical use” according to the DEA***. THC has been shown in numerous medical studies to have legitimate medicinal value as a treatment for severe nausea and anorexia in cancer patients, as well as a treatment for glaucoma, certain brain tumors, and more, yet the 1970 classification still stands. Most opioids are Schedule II substances. Think about that.

How can CBD help me?

Since CBD is a master regulator of the ECS, it can basically help anyone who has an imbalance in that system. Since the ECS is the most widespread system

November 2019 | 41

What is the best type of CBD? The best CBD oil is derived from cleanly-sourced, CBDrich strains of marijuana (some have ratios of about 20:1 CBD to THC). Technically, this product would contain 1% THC, which is above the legal designation. If you have your State of Michigan medical marijuana card, you can have access to this type of very therapeutic product. Research shows that a small amount of THC helps your CBD work better. In practical reality, 1% THC is really not going to make most people “high.” In fact, CBD actually blunts the psychoactive effect of THC. THC is now legal for recreational use in Michigan. It does have medicinal value, like CBD does. With proper guidance from a health professional who understands cannabis, a patient can experience the health benefits without the unwanted psychoactive effects.

Photo by Taisiia Stupak

in the human body, any malfunction of this system can result in widespread problems. This is the subject of a lot of interesting research. Scientists who study this system have found that many diseases are caused by either underactivity or overactivity of the ECS. While some people may be genetically predisposed towards ECS dysfunction, others may develop it over the course of their lifetime. Some of the medical conditions that have been linked to ECS dysfunction are autoimmune diseases, seizure disorders, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, complex regional pain syndrome, cardiovascular disease, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, nausea, motion sickness, Huntington’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, menstrual disorders, and failure to thrive in newborns. Poor activity of certain enzymes that break down our endocannabinoids has been implicated in obesity and type II diabetes. Furthermore, our bodies have the ability to up-regulate or down-regulate our CB1 and CB2 receptors depending upon what is off-balance.

This system is complex, but once the proper balance is achieved, the healing can begin. This is another reason why single isolates such as high-potency CBD distillates from hemp or synthetically-made pharmaceuticals don’t work as well and can cause many side effects.

42 | The Brick Magazine

It is extremely important to get a 100% “clean” product from a reliable source with third-party lab testing. Many growers use synthetic fertilizers and growth factors to maximize their yield. Even “USDA Organic” certified regulations allow for the use of over 40 synthetic pesticides and fertilizers as long as the grower adheres to their accepted “dosing schedule.” There are people growing cannabis in a more natural manner (with natural fertilizers using polyculture techniques and natural means of pest control). Most growers grow their plants indoors with artificial lighting and soil conditions. Outdoor growing is considered more desirable, since the full UV spectrum produces a greater host of phytocannabinoids and terpenes for an optimal entourage effect.

Since all cannabis plants are bio-accumulators, the plants have an affinity for absorbing heavy metals and other contaminants from the soil in which they are planted. A good grower will monitor and test the soil conditions. Since this is largely unregulated, there can be huge variability in product quality and purity. Farmers that grow industrial hemp for other purposes can make extra money selling their excess hemp plant material to CBD processors. This plant material can be tainted with pesticides, heavy metals, molds, fungi, and other potentially harmful things. Hemp has been intentionally planted in certain polluted areas around the world to help clean up the soil. This is known as phytoremediation, and these plants should not be sold to people for medicinal use. Because hemp plants are naturally CBD-poor, it takes a very large number of plants to extract a small amount of CBD. This significantly raises the risk of contamination, and toxins can be more concentrated. Stay away from hemp products sourced from foreign countries.

In general, hemp is a poor source for the other beneficial phytocannabinoids found in cannabis plants, such as CBG, CBN, and many more that contribute to the entourage effect. Since industrial hemp is naturally low in CBD, large quantities of it are often distilled to produce a highpotency CBD oil. Unfortunately, during distillation, any other phytocannabinoids and terpenes that may have been present are destroyed. The result is an unbalanced product or monocannabinoid. The high-dose CBD oils you may find on the web or in stores (2000 or 3000mg per ounce) may be too much CBD for some people to handle, especially if they are taking other medications or have liver disease.

Our liver metabolizes 60-80% of all pharmaceutical drugs though the Cytochrome P450 system (CYP450). Since CBD and THC inhibit CYP450, the metabolism of other drugs can be slowed, resulting in toxic drug levels. The synthetic CBD isolate, known as the drug Epidiolex, has caused significant interactions with other anti-epileptic drugs, whereas low-dose whole-plant CBD extracts do not. People with liver disease or genetically-inherited CYP450 dysfunction are also at high risk.

Monocannabinoids such as those found in popular CBD isolates lack the entourage effect provided by a balanced full spectrum product. There can also be a greater risk of drug interactions. Despite this, the first synthetic single molecule cannabinoid has been approved by the FDA and is manufactured by GW Pharmaceuticals. Epidiolex has been approved for use in children with certain types of seizure disorders. The average annual cost of this medication is $32,500. Some insurance companies will cover this, but for those patients without good insurance, the cost is prohibitive. In comparison, a typical dose of a high-quality full spectrum CBD oil for a 50-pound child would cost less than $2,000 a year.

Besides other phytocannabinoids, the additional terpenes found in cannabis are also found in other plants (most commonly in their essential oils). The top five terpenes found in cannabis are β-Myrcene, β-Caryophyllene, d-Limonene, α- and β-Pinene, and terpineols. These are also found in different parts of some plants such as hops, black pepper, citrus rind, and pine needles. Other familiar terpenes such as linalool are found in some strains of cannabis, but are more commonly associated with lavender.

Don’t be fooled by the labelling. Products that say “Pure CBD” or “No THC” are often isolates or distillates. If they

are cheap, I would be suspicious of a foreign source or mass-produced industrial hemp not intended for medicinal use. “Full Spectrum” or “Broad Spectrum” CBD products are superior. Products are often mislabeled.

In a 2017 study published in JAMA (The Journal of the American Medical Association), 69% of products studied were labelled incorrectly. Some products had little to no CBD in them whatsoever. Availability of third-party testing results can be helpful. Look for products that not only list the total amount of CBD in the bottle, but also the milligrams per dose.

CBD can blunt the psychoactive effects of THC while enhancing its anti-inflammatory properties. As stated previously, a little THC helps your CBD work better. The two go hand-in-hand. Referred to as “the power couple,” THC and CBD work together synergistically. When dosed correctly, CBD can magnify the beneficial effects of a very small amount of THC without its unwanted psychoactive effects. Micro-dosing THC (about 1mg) with CBD is a very effective strategy for medical marijuana patients.

According to a 2005 report published in Nature, the administration of a low dose of THC (1mg/day) orally in mice with atherosclerosis resulted in a “significant inhibition of disease progression.”

These cannabinoids have great potential to help so many people, and we’ve only been brushing the surface. As it should be with any medicine, the quality and sources of CBD really do matter. The marketplace is rife with misinformation, which can be confusing to the consumer. In the next article in this series, I will cover dosing and modes of administration for various CBD products. Stay tuned! *link to Michigan’s list of qualifying conditions: https://www.michigan.gov/ lara/0,4601,7-154-89334_79571_83746-449306--,00.html **Dr. Tod’s list of chronic conditions treated with cannabis: http://mcsocal.com/ docs/chronic_conditions_treated_with_cannabis.pdf ***more information about the DEA’s classification of THC: https://www.dea.gov/ drug-scheduling

Mention this article for a complimentary consult with Dr. Profera.. Contact Dr. Profera for educational events in the Ann Arbor area.

Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI BEMER Independent Distributor www.projuvu.com / 1.844.PROJUVU / drprofera@gmail.com FaceBook business page: www.facebook.com/projuvu/

Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this article or any of its references has been designed to help educate the reader in regard to the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided in order to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified health care professional. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

Cultivating Wonder

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

I

’ve recently discovered a secret, intoxicating way to feel consistently uplifted and expansive in my life. I’ll share it with you: I’ve been cultivating a state of wonder! Allowing myself to cozy in and hang out here, considering life with admiration, definitely keeps things fresh and far from boring or routine. Instead, launching my thoughts from a place of wonder powerfully infuses new perspectives into my landscape. Being open to a state of wonderment—

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allowing yourself to feel surprised amazement, awe, or joy as you savor what comes your way at any given moment—always brings new understandings and awarenesses into play.

Life can feel richer, and hold greater meaning and depth, when I approach it with astonishment and curiosity. I’ve found it exhilarating to wonder because it keeps my mind open and in a state of possibility.

“Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.” ~E.B. White It uplifts my mood, keeps me happier, and furthers a sense of expansive well-being. It’s a delightful place to land. Potent endorphins kick in when we allow ourselves to be in awe, and from there, we can’t help but be gently lulled into a sweet euphoric state. All that said, I highly recommend viewing your world through the eyes of wonder! Let me share three ways you’re guaranteed to benefit from adopting this vantage point.

Wonder Furthers Flow Intentionally observing your world through a lens of wonder is life-enhancing on many fronts. Being in wonderment furthers flow. Being in flow means being so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. Flow is about fullout involvement. Maintaining openness is like taking a magic pill. For it is our inner experience and attitude that impacts how we interpret events. If our attitude is one of awe—of being amazed at things before us—we more automatically cultivate perceptions that can bring us joy.

Some of my best moments, when I feel most vibrantly alive, are when I’m stretching myself to grow, taking on a challenge, or pushing my expanding borders. In the midst of these types of experiences I’m in flow, completely absorbed in what I’m doing. Presencing wonder helps facilitate these forward actions. Amazement can pleasantly grip you. It’s a darn good, curious feeling, and it has the additional effect of nudging you toward a bold following-through with your intentions. So by bringing a sense of wonder into the mix, we are controlling for a level of internal contentment. Again, this is because our inner experience is what determines the quality of, and our capacity for, how we experience each moment.

Wondering Counters Frustration You can’t help but feel good when you are pondering.

It’s a great place to be. And the beauty of it is that one can contemplate anything and everything.

Embodying this state has, as an additional perk, also enhanced my emotional commitment to pleasure— pure, unadulterated pleasure. Those who know me can easily confirm that I try to find and experience pleasure everywhere. I love to be wowed!

If one is musing, one is naturally curious and questioning rather than feeling stuck or frustrated. When faced with a challenging situation, if you contemplate the predicament, your mind automatically opens to considering different options, solutions, or new facets of reality—similar to how a prism filters a display of beautiful colors. If, instead, you simply let yourself sink into the frustration of a tough circumstance, barriers and obstacles are much more likely to multiply. Your vision is narrowed when frustrated.

November 2019 | 45

Nestling in wonder, on the other hand, can serve as a preventative of sorts, keeping your awareness and energy more positive in difficult situations. You’ll attend differently.

The capacity to reflect allows us to assess experiences, especially tough or traumatic ones, much more broadly.

It’s a more expansive state of being compared to frustration, which leaves you often feeling trapped or at a dead end. Musing can actually safeguard you from getting caught in a rut of angst or despair.

than getting annoyed, angry, or shutting down.

Connections with our fellow humans are plenty complex enough in their moment-to-moment unfolding. If we too quickly dump our own conclusions or habitual patterns of thinking into the mix, an encounter can become quickly stilted or stressful. If, on the other hand, we simply pause and gently wonder about another’s behavior, we open ourselves to better outcomes. Curiosity, empathy, and compassion come into play.

Astonishment can additionally embody a feeling of not quite believing what one is seeing. For example, pure awe at a sky filled with stars, your child’s first giggle and smile, or a magnificent sunrise. If you are fascinated by something, it is hard to also feel frustration at the same time. So approaching moments from a place of marvel, amazement, or even bewilderment, allows us to connect with our world more vividly.

Things are much more likely to roll well between my husband and I, for example, when I can witness his idiosyncrasies from a place of curiosity or marvel. Thinking about him and his ways keeps me in discovery mode. I feel more loving and connected. Intrigue pulls us toward another. It’s a truly magical and magnificent. Manifesting a reverence for life’s moments is a key ingredient to nurturing dynamic, juicy, rich relationships. Presencing wonder is, dare I say, downright wonderful! Nest there, my friends. Nest there.

Wondering Enhances Relationships My experience of, and in, relationships has greatly improved since making a commitment to embrace a state of wonderment. I connect, share, and attend to others more deliberately and meaningfully. Engaging in relationships from a perspective of curiosity—instead of assuming, concluding, judging, comparing, criticizing, or defensively posturing myself—packs a powerful punch. And when interactions get complicated or tense, reflection helps me stay in the game in a much better way.

Experiencing a sense of fascination or intrigue about the circumstance I’m in with another is much more pleasant

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Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world.

She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching

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November 2019 | 47

At Home within Ourselves

by Kellie Mox

Photo by Samuel Zeller

48 | The Brick Magazine

I

pulled up to a farmstand bordering the highway to collect a few vegetables for my two-night getaway.

The last thing I felt like doing was strolling the aisles of a grocery store, not to mention cooking and cleaning up. It felt too laborious during this getaway from the daily tasks of nurturing two kids, studying, building a business, healing myself, and managing a mother’s half of the emotional and physical household work. So, I picked zucchini and redskin potatoes, two foods my kids detest. I would roast them with ghee, salt, and pepper. Paired with the avocado I brought and an ice-cold bottle of sparkling water, it was the perfect just-me meal.

We were six weeks into the kids’ summer vacation, and as glorious as the slower mornings were, the introvert in me was challenged by the constant togetherness and reduced time for self-care. I’d tearfully told my husband in a moment of realization—or desperation—that I needed a break, something longer than my yoga class or regular walks with friends. The truth is, I was feeling a bit fed up— not just with the kids bickering or the challenges of a new business or a return of some old physical symptoms, but also with myself and how I was showing up for all these things.

I realized that I needed time and space to nourish my internal world—my inner nest—so that I could love living in it every day. The term “nest” may conjure up images of a clean, comfortable, well-curated physical home, but cultivating our inner space through extended rest and retreat is just as important a job. This kind of nesting supports us in feeling at home within ourselves.

So, with the help of a generous neighbor and supportive husband, I arrived at my sanctuary space on a warm summer evening just a few weeks later, and I settled in for two nights of rest and reconnection with myself. I began with an orienting and grounding walk to the shore of Lake Michigan, where I listened to the waves and watched the sun set. The water washed any lingering to-do’s out of my mind and invited my body to ease into a slower pace.

It already felt like a glorious nesting for my mind, heart, body, and soul.

Space to Reconnect While this wasn’t my first time traveling solo for no other reason than self-love, it hasn’t happened often since

the birth of my children. Most of us realize that giving ourselves extended time and space alone is restorative and important for our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. But many of us rarely do it. Cost, time, and logistics may be barriers, as is the work needed to coordinate the whole undertaking.

Clearly, going away for a full-scale retreat or even a two-day adventure isn’t always feasible. But the cost of not gifting ourselves time and space is also high. Burnout, resentment, exhaustion, a short fuse, and frequent illnesses all surface when we don’t nurture our inner space and care for ourselves in big, deep ways. Yes, we can still fit in short bouts of self-care. But meditation, exercise, sleep, or evenings with friends can only do so much to refuel a tank that is, for most women, being siphoned from every other minute of the day.

Serendipitously, I’d brought Gemma Hartley’s book Fed Up with me on my trip. It put into words something that I’d struggled to clearly express. That is, even with a physically and emotionally present partner who shares in the cooking and childcare, and even though I’m a coach who prioritizes self-care, I’m still often drained and frustrated by the emotional labor I perform daily—the doctor appointments, after-school schedules, social activities, and errands that all need to be remembered and coordinated.

Hartley defines emotional labor as “emotion management and life management combined. It is the unpaid, invisible work we do to keep those around us comfortable and happy.”

Not having enough time or balance in life are frequent frustrations for the women I speak with. Too often, selfcare gets set aside when the load of emotional and life management gets high. While a few days alone isn’t a long-term solution for resolving problems like emotional labor overload (for more on this, I definitely suggest reading Hartley’s book or working with a coach), if done with intention and some regularity, it enables us to truly tend to ourselves and our inner world. Whether you leave the house or seclude yourself in your bedroom for a day, I have a few ideas for how to make the most of this nesting for the soul.

Set an Intention Setting an intention allows you to focus your attention.

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My intention was to go inward, to be with myself in a way that I’m not when I’m tending to other people and things.

I meant to do this through rest, reflection, and reading.

Being clear about your intention means you’re more likely to walk away from your retreat feeling like you got what you needed. To be clear, an intention is not a goal.

Goals are endpoints or desired results. Intentions are lived moment by moment and are independent of the end result.

In effect, it’s how you want to be while you’re nesting.

Be Prepared Being prepared means bringing the tools you need, and not putting in extra, unnecessary work. If it feels restorative to cook yourself an elaborate meal, then you’ll need the ingredients. Meal preparation did not feel restful for me, so I left this up in the air. Instead, I brought three books for relaxation and inspiration, paint pens and watercolor paper for creative exploration, my journal for reflection and visioning, and my yoga mat for meditation and movement. Revisit your intention, and ensure you have what you need to align with that!

Disconnect and Reconnect This one is pretty clear. Unplug. I don’t mean you can’t binge-watch your favorite show for a few hours, if that’s in alignment with your intention. I finished the last twenty minutes of Brené Brown’s Netflix special, which had been partially watched for months, and I listened to Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee while I cooked, which brought smiles and laughter. What I mean is, consider a break from scrolling social media and sending work emails and

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responding to every text. Truly make this space for you and about you. You, like me, may feel a sense of serenity with less external chatter and demands. If this seems scary or difficult, that may be even more indication that you need it.

Being with yourself can be hard, but your relationship with yourself is the most important one to cultivate.

In the end, I didn’t finish the three books or do yoga or even meditate as much as I’d planned. But I did sleep in well beyond what would feel reasonable at home. And I explored the town and had a so-so meal while leisurely reading a novel. I meditated a little, walked a lot, colored, journaled, watched the water, and came away feeling like my mind, heart, body and soul were well-cared-for by me.

I’d found a place of rest and retreat within myself, and I felt at home there.

Kellie Mox catalyzes revolutionary healing for women through powerful conversations and whole-health mentoring. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections—to the self, others, and the world—and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections and embrace our wholeness.

Kellie is a certified coach and a student of homeopathic medicine with a master’s in health behavior and health education. She works with women virtually and in-person from her home base in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Website: www.kelliemox.com Instagram: @kelliemox Facebook: www.facebook.com/kelliemoxcoachingandhealing

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