The Brick Magazine - May 2021 by The Brick Magazine Ann Arbor

BRICK

THE

MAY 2021

MAGAZINE

ANN ARBOR

ADD CURB APPEAL TO YOUR HOME THIS SPRING PLEASURES WE TOOK FOR GRANTED

PLUS! THE JOYS OF BEING A NANA

Governor Gretchen Whitmer

FACING A HISTORIC Y EAR

S P IN N IN G T H READS I NTO

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

MAY 2021

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Managing Editor • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Contributors >>

Tiffany Birch Liz Crowe

Beth Johnston Marilyn Pellini Lisa Profera

Maria Sylvester Marji Wisniewski

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Photo by Emma Bumstead

CONTENTS

The One About Happiness

Facing a Historic Year with Governor Gretchen Whitmer

Pleasure as Your North Star

Add Curb Appeal to Your Home This Spring

Pleasures We Took for Granted

Pure-Fume vs Perfume

The Joys of Being a Nana

“it has to be more than pretty; it must be livable” R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E . www.birchdesignassociates.com R E S I D E N T I A L • COM M E RC I A L

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

The One About Happiness by Liz Crowe

Photo by Laura Chouette

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ver think about how we have so many words for booze? Giggle juice. Social lubricant. Liquid courage.

And it seems that we have even more ways to describe someone being drunk — hammered, blasted, gazeboed, etc. Some vintage terms for being drunk sound funny or bizarre to us today; back in the day, one might have heard that a drunk person “has more sail than ballast” or was “all mops and brooms.” Okay, sorry. I got lost down a rabbit hole of words and phrases. There is a point to this; bear with me. This month, in keeping (admittedly for the first time) with the theme of “Happiness and Joy,” we’re going to have a little chat about why “copping a tipple” can make you joyous at first, but later you’re all “katzenjammer,” with a “crapulent hair-ache.” Words, am I right? They have serious power, especially the old-timey and foreign descriptions for being hungover that I found thanks to the great Interwebs. The stage at which you are joyous is where we’ll focus for this month's moderately-researched-and-yet-gratuitouslypresented bit of fluff we call Booze 101. Mainly because, having traversed the long stretch of road between joyously buzzed and Hungdog Millionaire many more times than I should have in my life, I’ve reached a point in my drinking existence where I no longer drink for effect. We’ve all (mostly) been there* — that split second in time when you’re staring into your red Solo cup, or your beer can, or your glass of Two Buck Chuck and you think, “Well, how did I get here?”** The answer is a simple one. You got there because of ethanol, a by-product of fermentation — which is the word that describes how yeast interacts with either malt, wheat, grapes, potatoes, corn, or other plant products by breaking down their natural sugars. Ethanol has a stimulating effect at first. It happens fast, too — pretty much the moment anything with ethanol enters your mouth hole. Basically, in science talk, tiny blood vessels in your mouth and on your tongue introduce it straight into your bloodstream. Picture, if you will, a party boat — perhaps a pontoon on a lake, or a fancy yacht. Everybody’s super happy climbing on board. Sun! Water! Music! Friends! Party! Now imagine that party boat is your physical and emotional self on a drinking night. Things get kicked off once you push away

from shore or dock, the music starts blasting, you smell sunscreen and saltwater/lake-water. It’s super fun, this first part. That’s the ethanol entering your bloodstream with the first wash of liquid across your tongue. It’s nothing but fun and games. The booze then hits your stomach and small intestine, where up to 20% of it will get absorbed into your bloodstream. No big deal. You’re still on drink number two. All is good. Party boat’s in full swing. If you’re drinking on an empty stomach — which is rookie-level activity, and shame on you if you do this and still call yourself a Liz Acolyte — things will escalate a lot quicker since it’s a scientific fact that food in your stomach will help absorb some of that ethanol, keeping it out of your bloodstream at least for a while. Assuming you’re having a meal or a plate of pretzel nuggets with your drink(s), and that the bloodstream uptake is normal, your party boat is hitting its stride — music is blasting, people are laughing, and there is zero party drama. Once the ethanol is fully onboarded because you’ve ordered drink number three (or low-ABV beer number five), things are going to change. Your bloodstream moves that stuff around fast, and until your liver gets to work on it, it causes your blood vessels to widen, which leads to that warm, fuzzy, everything-andeveryone-around-me-is-great feeling. As the alcohol builds up in your bloodstream, it’s headed right for your brain pan. And that, my friends, is where the magic happens. At first, you feel super social, happier, and more confident because the stuff that began as what yeast excretes after eating the sugar out of cooked grains/fruit/vegetables stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin — the “feel-good” hormones — in your brain. So now the party boat is really rockin’. You’ve arrived at the sand bar or that spot where you’ll hook your boat up to all the other ones and start boat hopping. There’s nothing better in the universe than your boat, your friends, the sun, the water, and your SPF 30 sunscreen. This is the point of no return, because this is that point when you know you’ve had enough — the point at which if you have one more drink (or two more low-ABV beers) you’ll be booking a trip to Hungsville. What happens in your body next can be compared to getting too much water in your party boat. It can take a few splashes and still remain part of the party. But if too much water ends up in the boat, it’s going to sink.

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BOOZE = Giggle Juice Social Lubricant Liquid Courage Hooch Champers Brewski Time Travel Juice Hair of the Dog Alcomahol Antifogmatic O-Be-Joyful Angel’s Share Adult Beverage Liquid Bread Tennessee Mouthwash Bubbly

DRUNK = Crunked Tanked Hammered Up the Pole Gazeboed Flooded Turnt Blasted

Photo by Michael Discenza

Plowed Bombed Stewed Loaded Tipsy Has his mainbrace half-spliced…. (Okay, that last one I had to throw in from a list of vintage terms for being drunk. Also from that list: Has more sail than ballast Can’t see a hole in the ladder In his cups Full of Jersey lightning All mops and brooms Full of pig iron and carraway seed.)

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So let’s say you have “just one more” because your friend needs your advice about her love life, or you’re jamming to the band that’s playing, and you can leave your car and get a Lyft home anyway. That next drink is going to wash over your tongue, hit your stomach, go directly to your bloodstream, and hit your brain. And because your happy hormones have already been triggered, the next thing that ethanol does is depress your central nervous system. And that doesn’t mean you’re about to get a case of the sads. It means that your brain’s communication pathways are interrupted and your ability to process information is officially altered.

It’s also that time of night where you start to have physical symptoms: dizziness, blurred vision, slurred speech, and loss of coordination — the triggers that every well-trained bartender redflags to stop serving you. And if that weren’t enough going on in your poor bod, now you start getting dehydrated. Your brain normally produces something called an antidiuretic hormone (ADH) that tells your kidneys how much water to conserve. That’s about to go haywire, causing your kidneys to produce more water, which sends you stumbling to the bathroom over and over again. And it’s a bar, so it’s probably super gross in there.

Okay. Back to our slowly-stretching-too-thin party boat analogy. Now the boat has taken on so much water that your friends are all pissed off, blaming each other for the mishap that allowed water into the boat in the first place. A rumble of thunder warns that more water is about to fall from the sky, which is going to make everything that much worse. All the other boats have left the sand bar, unhooked from your sinking vessel, and you’re left with nothing but drama, angry friends, a soggy picnic basket, and regret. You know, kind of like that split second in time where you’re staring down into your red Solo cup, or your beer can, or your glass of Two Buck Chuck and you think, “Well, how did I get here?” The key to maintaining the good times when drinking? Know your limit. It’s taken me the better part of thirty years and lots of soggy party boat trial and error, but I know mine and I’m a slave to it these days. I’ve only allowed myself a couple of times to imbibe enough get myself still drunk (an extraordinarily astute Egyptian phrase for hungover) or experience a howling of kittens (Polish for hangover) in the last few years. And because I know what I know about how not to get one, I stay squarely in my joyous happy zone when I drink these days. Because honestly, who needs to get smacked on

the behind (polite translation of Swedish for hungover), or be all Katzenjammer (German, which translates to caterwauling or simply “having a tomcat”) with a crapulent (Danish) hair-ache (French)? Imbibe, my friends. But know that the wet party boat syndrome is both avoidable and well-avoided. *This sweeping generalization should be taken with a grain of salt. I don’t mean to assume that we all drink, but since you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you want to hear about me doing it. **Apologies to David Byrne, but this is exactly what I thought at that split second.

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eightyear stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

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10 | The Brick Magazine

Facing a Historic Year with Governor Gretchen Whitmer by Marji Wisniewski

I must confess that prior to 2020, the extent of my knowledge about Michigan politics was mostly limited to what I learned while chaperoning my daughter’s class trip to the Capitol. However, since the pandemic and other events of past year have unfolded, I’ve tried to learn more so I can be educated on the current issues our state and country face. On many days, I found myself glued to the livestream of Governor Gretchen Whitmer addressing our state. I noticed that a lot of the time, it wasn’t just her up at the podium. The governor often brought in team members with expertise in certain areas to address and inform the public. So, when I spoke with her for this interview, I wasn’t surprised to hear her describe her leadership style as one focused on teamwork and listening. She commits to making swift, informed decisions, and practices humility as a way to navigate our state through the most unexpected times and move us forward. MY MOM WAS “SUPER DELUXE” As May approaches and Mother’s Day comes around again, I think of my mom more than ever. My mother was a force of nature, and she had this incredible outlook on life. She could easily find the good in people, even those she didn’t agree with. Her sunny attitude, even in the darkest times, was something exceptional about her that I continue to try to emulate. I’m not always particularly good at that, though — especially if I’m stressed or feeling down. In those times, I try extra hard to be more like her and search for the good. What I’ve realized is that even on the hardest days, inspiration can be found everywhere among the incredible people of our state. You can see this in the volunteers at the YMCA in Battle Creek that I met last week. They were selflessly volunteering because they wanted to help other people in their community get vaccinated. I saw so much hope in the community that

came together in Midland after the historic flooding that happened in the middle of a historic pandemic. There really are encouraging stories everywhere. Some days, I have to be really intentional about finding them, but they’re there. The stories serve as a testament to how important it is to keep perspective in life, be grateful, and continue to live your values. My mother knew the importance of gratitude, and would light up when she greeted people. Through her example, I’ve come to believe that we should greet every person with the same joy we exude when we greet our dogs. We shouldn’t only reserve that enthusiasm for them! (If you try it, you’ll see that this small change can have a big impact on relationship-building.) When people would ask my mother how she was doing, she’d answer, “I’m super deluxe!” It was such an unexpected and kind of weird way to answer that it always made people laugh. It was her unique way of starting a conversation. May 2021 | 11

3 things that Governor Whitmer would like to focus on to improve MI’s health and vitality: 1. World-class public education for every child 2. Improved access to affordable quality healthcare 3. Good-paying job opportunities for everyone so we can lift people out of poverty 4. And of course, fixing the damn roads!

Shortly after I began my career in Lansing, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. She died a year and a half later, just after the birth of my first daughter. That time that I had with her, especially at the end of her life, is something that forged the person I am today and is the reason I do the work that I do. My mother was a groundbreaker in her own right, and I miss her every day.

ASSEMBLING A STAR TEAM TO FACE A HISTORIC YEAR A few weeks ago, a reporter released a list of all major events of the last year. As he began unpacking the many historical moments, I had to take pause and reflect. What a year it’s been! I know for a fact that I could not have made it through this time without the team we’ve assembled. We have so many phenomenal people in our office and in state government. The events of the last year have taught me how important it is to seek out expertise — and even more importantly, to listen. Together, my team and I have focused on making informed decisions and moving swiftly to save lives.

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As a key player on our team, I have to give special recognition to Dr. Joneigh Khaldun. Dr. J is amazing. She was one of the first people nationally to recognize the demographic impact and the reality of how COVID-19 has hit communities of color especially hard. Dr. J was the reason we had such an aggressive outreach campaign that carried over into other states. We didn’t just save lives here in Michigan, we saved them outside of our borders, too. I believe we’ve been successful thanks to Dr. J being at the forefront of our pandemic response. I feel grateful to have had her by my side. I’m confident in the work we’ve done together over the last year to help keep all Michiganders safe. But would I go back to March 2020 in a time machine with all the knowledge that we’ve accumulated, if I could? Absolutely! In those early days, we had no idea how important a mask would be. If we’d had a national masking effort, or had the ability to get N-95 masks earlier, or even to make them right here in Michigan — what a great strength that would have been. There’s no question that we’ve learned a lot, and those lessons have helped us make smarter decisions going forward.

But ourLewis work by is not done — yet. Right now, in early April, David Emily Rose Imagery our case numbers are high. A few days ago, my team and I got on a call with a number of national COVID-19 experts, including Drs. Ashish Jha, Scott Gottlieb, and Josh Sharfstein. The experts agreed that one of the reasons our cases are spiking right now is because we did such a good job of keeping the spread down in Michigan early on. We have more people here than in other states that don’t have antibodies yet because they haven’t been sick. Additionally, the variants are here, fatigue has set in, and people are changing their behavior and mobility patterns. We’re moving quickly to get as many vaccines in arms as possible. Experts predict that in the next few weeks we will see high case numbers, but in a month or so the numbers should start dropping off as more and more people get vaccinated. As of April 1st, we’ve put 4.3 million shots in arms; our goal is to give an average of 100,000 shots a day going forward. Our vaccine strategy has been sound, but the nature of this virus is that it’s still present and is going to be a part of our lives for quite a while. That’s why vaccines are so important. In fact, they’re an incredible tool for people to protect themselves and their communities.

As we look forward to our state’s recovery from COVID-19, we need to recognize the incredibly hard toll it has taken on women in the country and in our state. Nationwide, millions of women have left the workforce. This is not just a recession, but a SHEcession, due to the immense impact this has had on women. Women are mostly the ones bearing the brunt of staying home while our children’s school continues via virtual learning. I have great respect for how mothers with younger children have navigated this time. My daughters (one is a freshman in college, the other is a senior in high school) don’t need my help to get online. I don’t need to stand over them to ensure they’re staying engaged while holding down a job and running a household. For many women and mothers, it’s been hard, and I recognize that. That’s why we’ve done a lot of work helping to make sure there are daycare options available. My budget makes almost a $300 million dollar investment in daycare so that we can help working moms get back into the workforce. We’ve also created paths for training so that people can enhance their skills and get into higher-paying jobs. These are all crucial aspects that will help women get back to work, but we still need to focus on the overall goal of pay

Photo by GE Anderson

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3 items Governor Whitmer would place in a time capsule to explain this historic time to someone in the future: 1. A mask 2. An absentee ballot 3. A meditation recording to stay calm throughout the storm equity. That’s another barrier; when you have the same credentials and same work ethic, but don’t make the same amount as a man, it undervalues us women. We need to continue our work towards closing this gap.

LEARNING FROM COOPERATION I believe important work can be done through learning to listen to one another and cooperating on a meaningful level. Shortly after I graduated college, I took a job with Michigan’s House of Representatives. It was a unique period in our state’s history when we had a tie in the House — 55 Democrats and 55 Republicans. It was an extraordinary time of cooperation between the parties and all branches of government. I feel fortunate that that’s where I cut my teeth in politics. This cooperative spirit is what I hope we as a state can find again — where parties can recognize that we are Michiganders first. I realize that doesn’t mean we’re going to agree on everything, but the common good of our state requires that we come together to solve problems.

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When I look back to those earlier years in legislation, of course there’s advice I’d love to give my younger self; but I’m not sure she would have taken it. I have come to realize with experience and some age that I don’t know everything about all situations. Asking questions and seeking to understand is important to do first, in order to make the change we desire possible. And that is something hard to accept for a 30- year-old just starting out in the legislature (who is not patient and wants to change the world). But looking at young Gretchen, I would say, “Take it all in. Be in the moment and learn and listen as much as you can.”

RESPONDING TO UNSOLICITED COMMENTS Unfortunately, there have been moments of not only uncooperative behavior, but public criticism and even dangerous rhetoric that I’ve endured during my tenure as Governor of Michigan. I think it’s one of the tough things about being a woman in the career that I’m in — and many other workplaces, quite frankly. And at times, the onus of doing the calculation about how we will react to someone else’s bad behavior falls on us. That can be a lot of pressure to put on someone who was simply the recipient. We didn’t initiate this, yet we are the ones having to do the calculation by asking all these questions: Do I take this on? Is this a moment where I can educate someone? Do I turn a deaf ear to it? Do I laugh it off and show that it doesn’t bother me?” It’s exhausting that we have to do all this work to figure out how we respond to them when they’re the ones who are behaving poorly. And yet, this is the reality for women like me. Just this last week, threatening words were spoken by Michigan’s GOP leader, Ron Weiser, about me and Michigan’s Secretary of State and Attorney General. I didn’t sleep that night because it was very serious. My safety and the safety of my children has been an issue for over a year. Initially, it was the White House that was egging it on; then there were white supremacists in our own state that were creating the heightened risk. This week there was the GOP leader, who is also a Regent at a premiere university in Ann Arbor, telling his supporters that we were “witches” and to get us “ready for burning at the stake.” After some calculation, I posted a picture of myself holding a book, The Witches Are Coming by Lindy West. It’s an excellent feminist book. I thought that I wasn’t really poking fun at what he said because it’s serious and I take it seriously. But in that moment, I wanted to stress this sentiment: “You’re not going to scare me. I’m going to keep doing what I need to do. Oh, and by the way, everyone should read this book; it’s really a great book.”

HUMILITY OVER HUBRIS I’ve discovered that a key difference between those leaders who have been able to save lives during this critical time and those who have not comes down to the question of humility versus hubris. As Adam Johnson wrote in an Active Campaign blog post in 2019:

“Humility does not mean that you lack confidence or ability — it is simply defined as ‘freedom from pride or arrogance.’ Hubris is an antonym of humility; it represents an excess of pride and arrogance.” I believe this distinction is important. Recently, I was talking to someone who’s in charge of hiring new staff. They explained that more and more, organizations are looking for people with a good attitude and have aptitude. After those traits, expertise for the job was third in importance. I found this interesting because you’d think that credentials would be first on the list for hiring a new employee. But attitude is really that important. People who have the right attitude and mindset to want to solve problems, to work with one another, and are humble enough to ask questions are those that I want to surround myself with. My time as Governor has given me incredible challenges to face, especially in the last 15 months. It has also afforded me an opportunity to make the state better for the people that call it home. I respect how important this responsibility is, and I do not take that lightly. I can’t imagine how I would have navigated 2020 without my team by my side, my Executive Office Team, my Cabinet, and my partners — the Lieutenant Governor, the Secretary of State, and the Attorney General. Together, we will lead our state out of this pandemic to brighter days ahead. And that will be, as my mom would say, “super deluxe.”

With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation, and PR, focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes. A Michigan native, Marji received her bachelor's from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University. When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.

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Pleasure as Your North Star by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

Photo by Ava Sol

h, the experience of pure pleasure. You know the feeling; when you’re in it, it can be so divine. You drop down from awareness of your thoughts into a yummy experience in your heart and body — perhaps with a subtle, delicious buzz or tingle. You tune in there. It rounds you out and smoothes over all your rough edges. You feel more complete. More vibrantly alive. More open to the flow of life within and around you.

True uplifting comes from taking back your pleasurepower. I’m referring here not only to the power of your good thoughts or actions, but also the power of deeply embodying the joy you discover when experiencing a moment of pleasure. Allowing yourself to thrive in emotional states that bring you happiness, or a sense of lightness-of-being, are the best gifts you can give yourself and to others.

Pleasure, my friend, in all its many forms, is the key to deepening your connection with yourself and others. It can be a game-changing, guiding force in your existence.

To embody such a feeling of deep satisfaction — meaning to be an expression of, or give tangible form to — is bound to lift everyone’s spirits to unprecedented heights. So I invite you to be extremely intentional. Make a commitment to, and focus on, elevating pleasure in your life.

I came to this realization only after having lived more outside a state of pleasure than within it for way too long. My intention here is to shorten your journey. I’ll muse about why I now completely, absolutely, and unapologetically prioritize pleasure in my life. It has proven to be my new inspirational go-to!

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SLOW DOWN AND FEEL One way I’ve realized how to experience more pleasure is by slowing down. When I can stop what otherwise might

become incessant motoring — both mental and physical — and pause, positive things always happen. In the pause, I allow myself to breathe and then really tune into that breath. Noticing the movement there helps me center. Next, I can more easily shift my focus from my mind or what I’ve been doing to how I’m feeling.

RELEASE RESISTANCE Registering your own energy or vibration is all that’s ever truly under your control. So, I next suggest that you try to take satisfaction in releasing any resistance to whatever stands in your way of feeling pleasure. Become conscious of those false, negative, or problematic beliefs and banish them. Maybe you have resistance around the belief that work comes before play, or a haunting recall of parental prohibitions against enjoying yourself. Maybe it’s your own critical, judgmental voice echoing in the background, or societal training emphasizing the need to always drive yourself to success. Pleasure, on the other hand, is such a triumphant position. You may find yourself in hot pursuit of it, especially after reading this article. It can be absolutely exhilarating to witness how energetic you become when there are no obstacles to experiencing pleasurable states. So check in with your body. Think less and feel more. How is your body responding to an instance of pure bliss? Do you have goosebumps? An urge to dance? A long sigh of relief? There is a ton of valuable information here. And do note, my friend, that a relaxed body and nervous system offers a much stronger foundation for moving forward — an offer you must not refuse! The opposite of this, of course, is discovering how your world can be unfavorably rocked when you’re not embracing good feeling states. For instance, when not in your highest pleasure, you may be more easily upset. You might be quickly triggered, or feel insecure. On the other hand, celebrating yourself or another person happens more freely when you’re independently thriving. I bet you have experienced this phenomenon.

HARNESS YOUR CREATIVITY To feel internally enlivened is to feel the glorious energy of creation. I believe we are each called to cultivate ways to take responsibility for our authentic pleasure. One such path is to awaken and strengthen your imagination. There is a well-spring of creative impulses within each and every one of us. Deliberately tapping into your imagination empowers you, permitting opportunities for personal expression and growth. Imagining what you desire to create and bring forth, using all your senses, can’t help but leave you feeling more invigorated and alive.

SEXUAL PLEASURE HOLDS KEYS TOO Appreciating the main ingredients for enhanced sexual pleasure and playfulness can also teach us ways to curate pleasure outside of the bedroom. Again, the ability to drop out of your head and into your body is key. Sensual awareness and the capacity to lose oneself to ripples of pulsating, building sensations heightens sexual, as well as day-to-day, pleasure. Diving deep into savoring the sensations that arise in your body at all times helps spark pleasures of all kinds! Our bodies are wired to be highly reliable vehicles for joy, if only we allow ourselves to ride the waves. Floating luxuriously there, tuning in to every inhale (feminine energy) and exhale (masculine energy) fuels the magic. This juicy life-force is with us at all times. One only needs to remain self-aware, observe, listen, and let each and every mouthwatering moment move with and through you.

LASTING PERKS And so, my friend, can you see how connecting with what brings you pleasure then connects you more meaningfully with yourself? As an added perk, the more you connect with yourself, the better you’ll be able to build understanding and a richness-of-being with another. So take a minute now and ask yourself: what brings you pleasure? What needs, desires, values, or sense of purpose light you up completely from the inside out? Set a compass in the direction of the pleasure forces and experiences you want guiding your life — your north star. Recognize the key elements of your unique pleasure principle; this will help you better align there. Then, look out and get ready. Your life, I promise you, will break open in some pretty incredible ways once you truly harness the power of pleasure as your north star. A sense of personal expansiveness and empowerment will follow. Maybe even some giggles. Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching

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Add Curb Appeal to Your Home This Spring by Tiffany Birch

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fter suffering a painful divorce, I made the decision to relocate myself and my children to the Ann Arbor area. I combed the city, exploring a multitude of neighborhoods that emanated different vibes. Ann Arbor truly is unique in its cultural diversity, dedication to the arts, and — especially relevant to me — the wealth of opportunity for those in the market to build a new life in an area suited to their particular tastes and desires. As an avid lover of old historic homes, I zeroed in on a neighborhood within walking distance to a nice park and the school where my children would attend. I couldn’t believe that such a bucolic area existed within city limits. I watched children walking hand in hand with parents to school, dogs everywhere enjoying a jaunt around the block with their owners, and neighbors standing on sidewalks chatting like long-lost pals. Now, if I could just find the right home… There it was, a dilapidated 1913 fixer-upper on a corner lot. Admittedly these are not adjectives the typical homeowner seeks when deciding where to build their nest, but as a designer my mind flooded with ideas for the potential this home offered. It had good bones, but no curb appeal. I immediately developed a plan that would pay homage to the neighborhood and the inherent age of the home. “Curb appeal” is a buzzword that realtors and layman alike throw around when describing how inviting a home is

from the outside. A home with curb appeal beckons you to enter. Curb appeal also has the added benefit of increasing the value of your home. The good news is that every home has this potential — and spring is the perfect time to consider refreshing it! A home’s exterior is mainly comprised of the overall structure, and includes the yard, landscape, front entry, driveway, and sidewalks. Since the pathway leading to your home is one of the first things viewed by passersby, I recommend that hardscape such as pavers, brick, or stone be utilized to add character. These materials can also withstand Michigan winters, and they look best when enhanced with lighting. Installing this lighting doesn’t have to break the bank, as there are solar options on the market with minimal cost out of pocket. An additional benefit of this type of ambient lighting is safety, as it makes navigating steps and other potential hazards easier. Given Ann Arbor’s abundance of trees, it’s also wise to light up any particularly eye-catching trees near the home’s entrance. Landscaping is also of vital importance. Although this can be one of the largest investments you can make for your property, it often compliments the home’s curb appeal. Simply adding flower beds, fresh mulch, planters, or window boxes with pops of color will transform the home’s exterior and can offer a personal touch. Seasonal landscaping and home décor on the entry porch or front door is also a wonderful way to up your home’s style game.

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A part of this process that is near and dear to my heart is selecting the perfect front door. It’s often one of the first features seen from the street. This is the ultimate way to pay homage to the architecture of the home and give a completely different look to your home’s exterior. The options to make it stand out are limitless! Personally, I’m a huge fan of selecting doors with some glass; this allows some sunlight in the entry. I also love a front door painted in a bold color. It’s an inexpensive way to make a statement about your personality and demand attention. Selecting the proper door hardware and house numbers is equally important. Do some online research and see what sort of selections were popular for the style of your home during the time period it was built. Rejuvenation.com is a wonderful online resource offering period door hardware, lighting, and other wares that can spruce up any home’s exterior.

windows are the soul of your home. Potential buyers often rate windows as one of the largest considerations when searching the market for a new home. It’s best to consult with a professional when purchasing new windows, as the options are limitless and window replacement bears a great expense. If you’re simply freshening up your existing windows, a sanding and fresh coat of paint should suffice.

Windows are also a major consideration that cannot be underestimated. Again, whether you’re replacing windows or selecting the correct style for the period of your home is critical. If our eyes are the windows to the soul,

If you find yourself struggling with these decisions, I highly recommend that you consult with a design professional. As always, have fun in this process and look forward to putting a smile on your neighbors’ faces (and yours!).

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Exterior lighting is my personal favorite way to accentuate porches and garages. The options here, too, are limitless, yet the home’s architecture, aesthetic, and function must be considered. How you want your home to appear during the day and night should be the driving force behind final decisions. Would sconces between the garage bays look best? Or perhaps individual goosenecks installed above each door look best? Again, it depends on the style of your home.

Tiffany Birch has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects. She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She enjoys residing in the city and the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates

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Pleasures We Took for Granted

by Marilyn A. Pellini Photo by Tom Leishman

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t hit full force in mid-March of 2020 — COVID-19 that is. With its arrival went so many of life’s pleasures. Normally, I would greet a family member with a kiss or hug, especially if I had not seen them in a while. As the virus put a vice-like grip on the whole of mankind, close encounters evaporated. We had to stay at least six feet away from the other person and wear a mask if they did not live in our immediate household. Most people who were used to going to the office or their place of business now worked from home — that is if they still had a job at all. The shutdowns were excessive and painful. So many folks were either out of work temporally or fully, if their company went out of business forever. Others were totally overworked, such as those delivering goods to supermarkets, our large discount stores, and home delivery men for Amazon and UPS. Our packages were surely of a different nature too, many more concerned with masks, hand sanitizers, and cleaning products. Facebook and Zoom became our constant companions for both work-related purposes and to keep in touch with friends and family near and far. These electronics worked but could not possibly take the place of human contact. Whenever I was participating in a Zoom call, I felt I had to be dressed attractively and have a pleasing background. Unfortunately, my craggy, wrinkled face and slight double chin I could do nothing much about! Before the virus, most days I would try to go out to run errands, attend a meeting, or even meet a friend for lunch. That had all stopped, and so did dressing up attractively. I often stayed in my PJ’s all day, as did so many others. The lockdown had gone on for just so terribly long that for my own sanity sometimes I had to put on something a bit decent, even if it was just to go to the supermarket or to take a ride in the fresh air. If I ran into someone I should have known, I might not even recognize them with that huge mask covering their face. Some people would give it a quick tug down and back up or just tell you who they were. Fortunately, no one took this as a slight or were offended. We were all in this “first-time” dilemma together. Our healthcare workers were called upon for extra shifts and were falling prey to the disease themselves. They had to live particularly isolated lives. My daughter and her husband, who are both doctors, have a tiny apartment above their garage. They would leave a change of clothes there, so when returning from the hospital they would shower, dress in everything fresh, and go straight to the washer to launder their scrubs.

My new and constant companion was now the telephone. I tried to make a few calls a day just to stay in touch. There is something comforting about hearing an actual voice rather than contacting someone by email or texting. It is easy to know their state of mind by the tone of their voice. Although I sometimes called because I needed some cheering up, I was often the one trying to make someone feel a bit lighter. Since my husband is gone, I must admit to a bit of talking to myself, and looking heavenward asking if I can be given the strength to stand the loneliness and force myself to accomplish something. There are closets to clean and drawers too. When was the last time I actually waxed my wood furniture? That could be a good project. When one is down or depressed, however, that is not what you are looking to do. Being amused by nonsense on TV is more like it. I would make one excuse after another for not tackling a project, the major one being, “I can do that tomorrow.” We knew this pandemic would have a long duration, so why become even more stressed by pushing oneself to accomplish those long-put-off chores? It was hard enough just to prepare something to eat that would not add those dreaded calories and pounds. People were still able to shop thanks to the Internet, but many were frightened to actually go into a store unless it was totally necessary. Buying food for the family was a constant, but there were so many new rules and regulations at supermarkets. It used to be a joy to browse the aisles and shelves of the market, as there always seemed to be a number of products you had never seen or tried before. One needed an exact and precise list to check off aisle by aisle, so you could get in and out in record time. There were staples you could not even get anymore. Cleaning products were at a premium, as people stuck at home decided cleaning closets, basements, and garages wasn’t such a bad idea. It certainly accomplished something and kept us away from our screens and living room couch. Even if you were brave enough to go into a TJ Maxx, Kohl’s, etc. and spent a little time browsing, you could not try anything on. The dressing rooms were completely closed. I really needed some blue jeans. The ones I bought last year had some of that stretch material in them. With constant dryer heat, they were a baggy mess. I took home eleven pairs and was only able to keep two that really fit. I had to pay for a bag at the checkout as there was no way I could carry out eleven pairs of jeans in my arms. (My town is now bag-free, not even paper ones allowed.) Just getting the jeans into my house wasn’t easy either, and I found trying them on in front of my full-length mirror not nearly as satisfying as the vision

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24 | The Brick Magazine

you get of yourself in the store. The joy of buying new clothes was gone, and I only did it in a pinch or when Christmas reared its head. I treated myself to a new wallet I saw online. When it arrived it looked nothing like the one pictured. I toyed with the idea of returning it but did not want to go through that hassle. So, I’m stuck with a wallet I don’t love. Unfortunately, an expensive wallet I don’t love. Oh well! My family always celebrates Christmas together, which is truly so much fun. I drive three hours to my son’s home and bring the Christmas Eve dinner with me. Either I make a baked stuffed fish, or we have a special variety of pasta. Since I could not go to their home this year because my daughter-in-law is an OB/GYN and sometimes has to deliver a baby to a COVID patient, I was home alone. I ordered a takeout meal of sole francaise and it was really delicious, but sitting alone to eat on such a festive occasion was tough. For Christmas Day my kids ordered me a lovely dinner from a French restaurant, since I was going to stay at home. Their thoughtfulness did add great joy and anticipation, but sitting down to a place setting of china and crystal to eat alone instead of gathering with family did not measure up at all to past celebrations.

I vowed we would somehow get together to exchange Christmas gifts during the holiday season, however, so I devised a plan that actually worked. I met my son and family partway between our homes. We parked in the lot of a restaurant and got takeout. Connected by our phones on Bluetooth, we were able to eat and have a lively conversation. Then we exchanged gifts between cars and held one up at a time, reading the tag aloud and then pulling back the wrapping. There were the usual gasps of pleasure as we turned a dreary day into one of sunshine and good cheer. Things for the year 2020 were certainly different and not of the same exuberant quality of old, but with a little ingenuity we have been able to keep connected with loved ones. In the long run, all that really matters is family, friends, and certainly good health! Marilyn Pellini published her first book, Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances, in 2018. That same year, she won the first place prize in the New York State Federation of Women’s Club writing contest. In the past, she’s had poetry and articles published in magazines such as On the Water, Westchester Parent, Balanced Rock, and others.

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May 2021 | 25

Pure-Fume vs Perfume

by Lisa Profera, MD Photo by William Bout

hy does making your own scents make sense and save cents?

I used to not understand why walking through the perfume department would make me sneeze, feel nauseated, or give

26 | The Brick Magazine

me a headache. If I had to subject myself to the barrage of synthetic fragrances permeating that section of the store, I would often walk quickly and hold my breath, dodging the women with spray bottles ready to douse you in the latest trendy (and often expensive) perfume.

Photo by Alexi Romano

Components of plants have been used as fragrances for thousands of years. It’s only until fairly recently that synthetic fragrances have been developed. Although chemically constructed fragrances may smell similar to their natural counterparts, this industry is not regulated and the manufacturers are not obligated to tell you what is actually in the bottle. Using a high-quality, all-natural, plant-based scent will not only save you money, but you can be assured that your perfume is a “pure-fume”: free of synthetics. Many of you know that I love to use essential oils for physical and emotional health. The power of aroma is wonderful for uplifting mood and reducing stress. Essential oils are the “essence” of plants. These compounds are made by plants for their own healing and defense, but they also help animals and humans. The nose knows. Once you have smelled a pure unadulterated fragrance, you will notice the difference. I know this because natural fragrances do not make me feel ill. I can walk into a room and tell if a scent is real or fake. Our sense of smell is the most primitive of our senses, directly linked to the “lizard” brain (which includes the amygdala, hippocampus, limbic system, and more). Certain scents can trigger emotions and memories instantaneously. Besides smelling nice, the aromatic use of essential oils can have profound emotional and physical effects. What kinds of scents are you attracted to? Do you prefer floral, herbal, citrus, musky, or woodsy? Or perhaps a combination of two or more? I’ve had a lot of fun creating my own scents and teaching others how to make their own “pure-fumes” with essential oils. Once you understand the basics, the possibilities are endless. For less than $2, you can mix up your own custom blend that will rival any expensive perfume on the market. When we speak of complex scents, there are three phases involved in the experience. The “top note” is the first component that evaporates within the first 30 minutes or so. These are light and airy scents such as lemon, basil, and peppermint. “Middle notes” last around 1-3 hours and comprise the body of the perfume. They tend to be soft and round out the blend, as in the case of cypress, geranium, and rosemary. The most lingering scents are known as the “base notes,” which last several hours. They

generally offer a warm, soothing/relaxing profile like frankincense, jasmine, and clove. In general, the proportions of top, middle, and base notes are 3:2:1, but this is not set in stone. Your personal preference or intuition may come into play. There are no right or wrong answers. Once mixed, your nose will tell you if you’ve succeeded. Since essential oils are very concentrated, it’s best to dilute them with alcohol (like 100-proof vodka) or a carrier oil (like fractionated coconut oil). These can be mixed in a roller bottle or a spray bottle, both easily found online. Or you can get fancy and use an antique perfume bottle — I have a collection of these! Please note that not all essential oils are created equal. In fact, according to the APRC (Aromatic Plant Research Center), “experts estimate that 80% of commercially available ‘pure’ essential oils are adulterated in some way.” Unlike the perfume industry, some companies in the essential oils industry have taken it upon themselves to set up standards of testing and reporting to ensure purity and quality. As a physician, my mantra is “Do no harm,” and that’s why I only use doTERRA® essential oils for myself, my family, and my patients. The doTERRA brand has zero tolerance for contamination and adulteration. DIY pure-fumes are fun, economical, and safe. So, the next time you’re thinking about purchasing a bottle of perfume for $100 or more, you may consider making your own. If you would like a copy of some simple instructions on how to do this, just email me (drprofera@gmail.com). Custommade pure-fumes also make great gifts for that special person who has everything. I’ve also done live and virtual DIY classes for small groups. Contact me to book your special pure-fume event! Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD; Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI; Expert Injector, Medical Director; Facial Innovations Medi-spa, Ann Arbor; Medical Director, Northville Beauty Spa; Certified Medical Marijuana Doctor; Certified doTERRA Essential Oils Expert; BEMER Independent Distributor; CrossFit® Level 1 Trainer www.projuvu.com • 1-844-PROJUVU • drprofera@gmail.com www.facebook.com/projuvu/ Request to join my closed FaceBook group, www.instagram.com/youressentialoilsdoctor/

Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this article has been designed to help educate the reader regarding the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity concerning any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified healthcare professional. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

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The Joys of Being a Nana by Beth Johnston

Photo by Rodnae Productions

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“Grandchildren fill a space in your heart you never knew was empty.” —Unknown

n December 27th, 2019, my world changed forever. If you had asked me before that date what gave me the most joy in life, I probably would have simply said family and traveling. Little did I know that I would come to prioritize a new joy. I’m the mom of three boys who are now young men (32, 29, and 27). They’ve always been my world, and still are. All of my friends who have grandchildren told me how much I was going to love being a nana, but I really had no idea what they meant. My first grandchild was due on Christmas Day 2019. Christmas came and went, and still no baby. I went to a doctor’s appointment with my daughter-in-love on the day after Christmas. They told her to come to the hospital that night to “get things going.” Because baking is one of the ways I express love, I baked chocolate chip cookies the next morning for the labor and delivery staff and our family as we waited at the hospital for baby boy M to arrive. I got to the hospital around 10:00 AM. Things were progressing slowly. Around 10:15 PM, I was in the LDR room with my son, my daughter-in-love, and her mom. All of a sudden, a bunch of staff rushed into the room — the baby’s heart rate had dropped very low. It was terrifying! My daughter-in-love was whisked out for an emergency c-section. We all sat anxiously in the waiting room. Finally, at 11:01 PM, we got a group text from my son with a picture of my grandson. Easton had been delivered at 10:55 PM. He was 9 lbs 5 oz, 20 inches long, and his head was huge. The cord had been wrapped around his neck, which is probably why his heart rate dipped so low. We didn’t get to see him until around 2:00 AM. Holding him for the first time was magical; I was instantly in love. On the way home from the hospital, I was overcome with emotions. I couldn’t stop crying. When I pulled into my garage at 2:30 AM, I recorded a video of myself trying to explain the onslaught of emotions I was feeling. I still can’t adequately put into words the joy and wonder of welcoming my first grandchild into the world. I can tell you that the past year of having him in my life has given me a love and joy I never thought possible. There are so many reasons that being a nana is the best gift ever; here are five that bring me the most joy so far.

Singing Lullabies to Him as He Sleeps in My Arms. When my grandson was a newborn, he would sleep in my arms often. I would sing him a few lullabies that I sang to my boys when they were little. There’s something so peaceful about watching a child sleep, especially if they’re in your arms. The little faces he makes in his sleep, feeling his soft breath and little heartbeat — I could stare at him for hours. Of course, my arms did fall asleep on more than one occasion. Some people think if you let a baby sleep in your arms it will spoil them; I may have even had those same thoughts when my boys were little, but I’m older and wiser now, and I believe that holding a baby while they’re sleeping lets them know how much they’re loved and cared for. He doesn’t sleep that much in my arms anymore, but when he does I cherish those special moments. He still knows our special songs when I sing them. Creating those memories, just the two of us, is priceless.

Smiles and Belly Laughs. In the beginning, I was thrilled whenever he smiled; usually it happened while he was sleeping. Later he began to respond to us as we talked to him and smiled at him. Now, he giggles and has the best belly laugh. One day, we were playing a game where I would hide from him and he would race around to find me. When he did, I’d exclaim “I’m going to get you!” and he would burst out laughing every time. I was laughing as much as he was. Nowadays, there are times when all I have to do is laugh and he starts laughing too. What does love sound like? My grandson’s laughter!

Telling Him Stories. My grandson loves books. His parents have instilled in him that love of reading. As a retired teacher, I’m a firm believer that children fall in love with books because of the memories created when they snuggle up and read with someone they love. My grandson brings me a book and climbs into my lap so I can read to him. It’s a special kind of bonding, even when we read the same book ten times in a row.

Watching Him Grow and Learn. As a parent, I loved watching my boys grow and learn. I was with them every day, so I didn’t always notice the small changes. I also think that as parents we have so much going on that we miss some of the intricacies of their childhood. But as a grandparent, I’m able to focus on the little things. I love seeing the wonder in his eyes as he tackles something

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“Children are the rainbow of life. Grandchildren are the pot of gold.” —Unknown weeks! It was devastating. I went from seeing him several times a week to FaceTime calls and outside walks just to see him in person. It made me realize how truly precious my time with him is. I can’t wait for the day he actually calls me Nana. When you watch your child become a father and hold his son in his arms, you witness the circle of life. Being a grandparent is not that different than being a parent; there are diapers to change, stories to read and reread, milestones to witness. So what makes being a grandparent feel so special?

Photo by Rodnae Productions

new. The other day, I was playing with a toy that you have to turn upside down in order to make it work. My grandson tried to make it work by shaking it, so I took it and kept turning it upside down. Finally he copied me and did it on his own. A few minutes later he tried shaking it again, but I know he will eventually be able to consistently remember to turn it upside down. These learning moments fascinate me. I want to experience every moment, big or small, always.

As parents, we’re always multitasking. I was a working mom. I taught elementary school all day and came home at night, when I had to figure out dinner, find time to read stories, give baths, tuck the kids into bed, work on schoolwork, and then get up in the morning and do it all over again. That only became harder when I got divorced and became a single working mom. The responsibility was often overwhelming. But now, I’m retired and I don’t have all the everyday struggles I did as a parent. I’m not thinking of anything else except my grandson when I’m with him. Besides my responsibilities being different, I myself have also changed. I’m more patient and attentive than I was then. As a parent, I was cognizant of the fact that I was raising my boys to grow up to become decent, contributing members of society; as a grandparent, I can simply revel in being with my grandson. I allow myself to be silly and playful. I spend hours devoting all my time and attention just to him.

Holding Hands, Picking Him Up, and Giving Kisses.

There really is no greater joy than the gift of a grandchild. If you’re a grandparent, you know.

My grandson is at the age now where he reaches for me, holds my hand, and gives me kisses. He knows me. I can’t express how thrilled I was when this finally happened. One of the most difficult times for me was during COVID in the spring of 2020. I had been seeing my grandson regularly up until my husband and I took a trip to Florida at the beginning of March. When we returned, I was supposed to start watching Easton when my daughter-in-love returned to work. That never happened. We got back and everyone went into quarantine. I didn’t hold him for almost five

Beth Johnston was born and raised in Ann Arbor, MI and currently resides in Pinckney, MI. She is a retired elementary educator from Ann Arbor Public Schools (13 years) and Pinckney Community Schools (17 years). She lives with her husband Dan and has three sons from her first marriage (ages 31, 29, & 26), a daughter-inlove, a grandson (who is the light of her life), three step-children, and a rescued German Shepherd named Mia.

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