Choices

Family Background

My Mum was an only child, meaning my sister and I, had our Nana all to ourselves. Even more so as our Grandad passed away shortly before I was born. Subsequently she directed all her love and attention towards us. Throughout our childhood we saw her almost every day, she was always in our lives. When she died it was our responsibility to organise her affairs. My Nana’s possessions were divided up between the three of us, the things as Miller (2010) proposed, that came closest to our ideal view of her, were chosen. Through amicable discussion and compromises over certain items namely, her jewellery box, button tin and paintings we each left with our little pieces of her. It has been argued (Hallam, E. and Hockey, J. 2006, p.36) that if personhood and social identity are fashioned through the body and the material objects with which the body is associated, then it is through these objects that the deceased are kept within memory. Everything within the walls of my Nanas home was filled with memories of her.

Family Background

The items that I chose and those that have since found their way to me have become my most treasured possessions, if my house were on fire, it would be these objects that I would save above all else. Some take pride of place, displayed on shelves (her display shelves) within my home, some are tucked away in draws (her actual draw linings) and some are even in my freezer (I kept that last batch of buns she baked and froze them), but all are a comfort to me. As Miller (2010) states, ‘You can’t control the way in which you separate from a living body, but you certainly can control the objects which were associated with it’.