H OL L
AND
LANE
I S S U E O NE | JUNE 2 0 1 5
SMALL BUSINESS
BRIM PAPERY
ONE WOMAN’S JOURNEY
LIVING WITH PTSD
GASTRIC SLEEVE I HAD WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY
ZUMBA!
CHANGING THE WAY WE WORKOUT
FEATURES EDITOR’S NOTE CONTRIBUTORS ENTERTAINMENT STYLE & BEAUTY INTERIORS BUSINESS FOOD & FITNESS LIFE STORIES FAMILY TRAVEL CREDITS
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35 BRIM PAPERY
52 ZUMBA!
56 LIVING WITH PTSD
62 I HAD WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY
From the mouth of a small business owner, what does it take to succeed?
One woman’s fight to live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder every day.
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Zumba has changed the way we think about exercise- hear from an instructor on why the workout is sweeping the nation!
The good, the bad, and the ugly of gastric sleeve surgery.
Talk to us!
EDITOR’S NOTE How does one begin an editor’s note when they’ve always dreamed of writing an editor’s note? I feel like I have so much to say and at the same time, I don’t know where to even begin. This magazine is something I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl pretending I worked for Sassy Magazine. I always pictured myself living in downtown Manhattan, sitting in a light filled office surrounded by piles of clothes, ten-feet tall models sashaying in and out, while I designed and photographed, and put together pages to make your eyes smile. I wasn’t sure how it would happen, but I knew that at some point I would begin this venture. This issue is the beginning of a dream and you’ll see that theme woven throughout. I felt ready for this because of those family members who have always cheered me on, the friends who have felt like family, and the readers who have become friends. They always made me feel like I had something to say, like I was worthwhile. And they’re the reason I finally chased this dream. So this magazine is for all of you. The ones who have believed in me since I began blogging on Coming Unstitched. Who continued to read even after I moved to the new self-named Sarah Hartley blog. And who didn’t bat an eye when I announced the intention of this magazine. You only became more excited, offering to help and becoming cheerleaders once again. So welcome to Holl & Lane. A piece of me that I want to share with all of you. Sarah Hartley, Editor-in-Chief
Have a comment about an article? I want to hear it! Email me: editor@hollandlanemag.com
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contributors
HOLL AND LANE CONTRIBUTORS
Behind every great magazine is a group of contributors with stories to tell, photos to share, and words to write. Without them, a magazine would be nothing. To get to know this issue’s contributors better, I asked: WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE DREAM?
Amy Cook
Book Reviews, p. 8 I Had Weight Loss Surgery, p. 62
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream is to see my children graduate college, get married, have babies and pursue their own dreams and perhaps one day I’ll travel to Ireland and England. FIND HER ON FACEBOOK
Sarah Wissinger Top 10 Songs To Pump You Up, p. 9 DIY Dip Dyed Curtains, p. 26
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream is to travel the world with my guy by my side, but to always feel most at home, snuggled up on the living room sofa with a movie on the TV. READ HER BLOG
Kimiko Saso
Top 10 Movies to Motivate, p. 10
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream is to live somewhere warm all year round where I can easily get to an ocean or lake and soak in the sun.
READ HER BLOG 4 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
Julie Maguda
contributors
One Trend, Four Ways, p. 14
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream would be to work with some of my favorite brands on my blog and have a successful Etsy business for my artwork.
READ HER BLOG
Jess Downey
DIY Photo Coasters, p. 32 Chicken Pasta Recipe, p. 50
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream is to buy a little fixer upper and renovate it to make it my (and my husband’s) own. READ HER BLOG
Skylar Blackwell Office Organization, p. 42 DIY Bulletin Board, p. 43
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream is to have a great group of people and pets to love, travel more, stress less, enjoy nature, be healthy, be creative, be fufilled by my career, enjoy some great wine and leave the world better than I found it.
Hannah Reynolds Classic Vanilla Cake Recipe, p. 45
What is your ultimate dream?
READ HER BLOG
My ultimate dream is to live a simple life full of family, laughter, simple pleasures and the ability to live and work on my own terms. I have learned early in life, from those around me and from my own experiences, that money will come and go throughout the years. I want to live for love. Love of life, love of those around me and love of the simple but unique moments presented to you each and every day. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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contributors
Jennifer Stright
Slow Cooker Corned Beef, p. 48
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream would be to never work another day in my life but rather to spend my days volunteering my time to worthy causes. I truly love to give back and I would love nothing more than spending my time working to make this world a better place.
Rachael Garling Snickerdoodles Recipe, p. 51
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream in life is to just be happy. I know it’s broad but I want to be happy with myself, my life, career etc.
Lauren Schroeder DIY Kids Placemats, p. 75
What is your ultimate dream?
My ultimate dream is to continue raising my beautiful kids and one day when they’re all settled into school, go back to school myself for Speech Therapysomething that my dad and mother-in-law inspired me to do.
Adaena Tray
Most Instagrammable Places in Pittsburgh, p. 80
What is your ultimate dream?
I’m a personal finance geek, so my ultimate dream is to pay off everything, house included, in the next ten years and establish a freedom fund so I can travel the world and start my own business.
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Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you. -Marsha Norman
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entertainment
On Our Bookshelf text by amy cook
THE CURRENT
This novel tells the story of two sisters, fighting for freedom and survival in France during World War II. One sister, Vianne, is struggling to accept that her beloved husband was sent to fight in the war leaving her and their daughter to survive without him. The other daughter, Isabelle, discarded as a child by both her father and older sister, is trying to be part of the resistance. When the sisters are forced to live together in Vianne’s home with a German Captain, the bonds of sisterhood and patriotism are challenged over and over again. The Nightingale shines light on WWII from the perspective of the women who lived through it and fought their own battle away from the front lines. It is a story of sisterhood, courage, and standing up for what you believe in. Our Rating: 5/5
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THE CLASSIC
This is one of those books you probably should have read in high school and never got a chance to. Gatsby is bound to be a favorite you will take down from the shelf repeatedly. The roaring 20’s come alive on the pages of this novel set in Long Island, New York on the towns of West Egg and East Egg. The writing is poetic and lovely and Fitzgerald tells a story of unrequited love between Daisy Buchanan and J. Gatsby. Told from the perspective of the cousin, and eventual friend and confidant of Gatsby, it is hard to tell who is more enchanted; Gatsby with Daisy or Nick with Gatsby. Despite the pains Gatsby goes through to win Daisy’s heart, her beguiling persona proves to be deceiving in the end. Gatsby is a wonderful classic to be read again and again. Our Rating: 4/5
THE NON-FICTION
Are you one of the millions of classy ladies that likes to use foul language in the kitchen? This book has no recipes with meat, dairy, or eggs but every recipe is purported to be delicious and healthy. The guys at Thug Kitchen tell you what to substitute when you can’t find the fancier stuff, remind you that it is acceptable and encouraged to make the recipe your own when it comes to seasoning, and even have a section to tell you what to purchase to have the staples for home-cooking in your own kitchen. If you want to start eating healthier and love to swear, this is an excellent book to pick up. Recipes to check out immediately include: Pumpkin Chili, Roasted Potato Salad with Fresh Herbs (no mayonnaise!), Strawberry Shortcake, and Roasted Beer and Lime Cauliflower Tacos with Cilantro Coleslaw. Our Rating: 4/5
THE CHILDRENS
Duncan wants to color but as he reaches for his crayons he finds a stack of letters addressed to him in their place. What follows are the most adorable letters written from the perspective of the crayons telling Duncan what he is doing right, and wrong, with his favorite colors. Red is tired, beige is left out, and yellow and orange are in a fight! The illustrations, by Oliver Jeffers, are beautifully done and look like a child created them. The words are childlike but amusing for children and adults. Nothing is as therapeutic as coloring and this book will have you wanting to pull out a fresh box and get to work on a new masterpiece. Our Rating: 4/5
entertainment
-1“HOLD ON” ALABAMA SHAKES - 2“MOVE ALONG” THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS
- 3“CHIN UP, BOY!” BIG D & THE KIDS TABLE
- 4“MONEYMAKER” RILO KILEY
- 5“AIN’T NO REST FOR THE WICKED” CAGE THE ELEPHANT - 6“ALIVE” IMA ROBOT
TOP 10 SONGS TO
PUMP YOU UP text by sarah wissinger
- 7“TRY THIS AT HOME” FRANK TURNER
- 8“TURN IT AROUND” LUCIUS - 9“STOP!” AGAINST ME! - 10 “DOG DAYS ARE OVER” FLORENCE + THE MACHINE Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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TOP
entertainment
MOTIVATION
Are you looking for motivation to pursue your dreams? Ge
text by kim
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THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS Whether it’s the heartbreaking tale, or the fact that it’s based on a true story, this movie will put things into perspective for you. This man pushes through every obstacle in his life for the sake of his child to become a success.
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THE IMITATION GAME A serious movie about a stubborn man who refuses to concede his ideas. He continues to push forward, despite alienation from his peers, because he knows that what he wants can be achieved - he just has to figure out how!
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LORD OF THE RINGS - THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING Though our journeys and dreams may take awhile, when we accept help along the way, anything can be achieved. The most important message to take from this movie is that help and motivation may come from the most unlikely of places.
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THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY This is a story that takes dreaming to a whole new level. In Walter’s life, he dreams boldly but lives meekly until one day, he finally decides to live outside of his imagination. The movie is stunning visually, and incredibly endearing. A must see for those who need to feel like dreams are possible and that even our everyday lives make a difference.
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DEAD POET’S SOCIETY Set at an elite all-boys prep school in 1959, we meet an unconventional English teacher, Mr. Keating, who instructs his class to live their lives by their own design. With a focus on poetry, Keating pushes his pupils to recognize their own abilities, follow their dreams, and seize the day. A particular group of students is so motivated that they restart the Dead Poet’s Society, a secret poetry club where the members can read their favourite poets and share some of their own creations.
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TEN
entertainment
NAL MOVIES
et comfortable on the couch and let these films inspire you.
miko saso
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EAT PRAY LOVE Eat Pray Love follows the journey of a woman as she travels to not only find herself, but to find inner peace. This movie is great for those of us with wanderlust - it will most definitely make you itch to get out there and see the world!
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SPINNING PLATES This documentary may push you either way - sometimes following your dreams can be fruitful, and sometimes it can take every last ounce you have. However, one particular chef has an interesting twist to his story and will make you realize just how far some people will go to follow their dreams.
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THE ROCKY MOVIES A true underdog story of Rocky Balboa, a small-time boxer who gets a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. While there are seven films in this series, the message is the same - that even an underdog, someone no one thinks has a chance, can succeed and be a hero.
HARDBALL This movie, about a man who coaches a peewee baseball league from the projects through a season, will tug at your heart strings. Sometimes we learn the biggest lessons and are motivated by the littlest of people to do our very best.
THE MIGHTY DUCKS A young lawyer forced to do community service for an indiscretion, returns to his small town to coach a rambunctious group of hockey players to fulfill his duty. A once hopeless team turns out to not be so terrible after all. What could be more motivating than have someone doubt you can do what you most desire to achieve?
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Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. -James Dean
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style & beauty
Her style is classic and girly, and we’ve loved watching her grow from beach bum to high powered CEO. Lauren Conrad has become a fashion icon, but her style feels attainable and very girlnext-door. This look she wore to a polo match feels like the epitome of what we’ve come to expect from the business owner. Copy her style easily for spring.
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STYLE COPYCAT produced by sarah hartley
TOTAL OUTFIT: $160 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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style & beauty
W H I T E L A C E 14 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
CASUAL
DATE NIGHT
ONE TRE
This summer’s hottest trend, white lac
images by ju
style & beauty
DRESSY CASUAL
PROFESSIONAL
END, FOUR WAYS
ce, can be worn for any occasion. Julie shows us how.
ulie maguda Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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style & beauty
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A DAY AT THE
BEACH
Spend your day in cute, inexpensive swimwear that will keep you covered and fashionable no matter where the day takes you. produced by sarah hartley
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IN MY
Makeup Bag
style & beauty
All makeup companies claim to have the best products, but what do makeup artist’s choose to use on themselves? Makeup artist, Tamie Konzier, gives us a peek into her makeup bag. text by tamie konzier
PRIMER - I have large pores and this product from Lorac, Porefection, really helps minimize the size and smooths out my skin to create an awesome base. FOUNDATION - MAC Prolongwear in NW25. My go to foundation that lasts and lasts. CONCEALER - MAC Prolongwear in NW20, I also use it as my shadow base, seriously the best out there! ARDELL EYEBROW KIT - in light and the Ardell two sided eyebrow brush- Perfect shade to fill in my brows, and the two sided brush is a handy tool to do so. LORAC GOLD EYESHADOW PALETTE - I have blue eyes so this palette really makes my color pop no matter what combination I go with.
NYX BLUSH in Pinched - Really good duplicate for NARS orgasm and a fraction of the cost at $5. URBAN DECAY GLIDE ON EYE PENCIL in Perversion- Not only is this a 24 hour wear pencil, it glides on like butter. SIGMA BRUSHES - If you want flawless blending, use the E25 for eyeshadow. If you want a great application for your foundation you need the F80. BEAUTY BLENDER - To blend out your concealer a damp beauty blender is your BFF. COVERGIRL PROFESSIONAL MASCARA in Black- Great drugstore option for major length and volume.
DEMI WISPIES - False lashes that look so natural no one will know you have them on. And don’t forget the Duo glue, my go to glue for an effortless application. ANASTASIA CONTOUR KIT - Best contour kit out there! WATTS UP HIGHLIGHTER - A must have if you want that glow! Apply on the top of your cheekbones for a little pizzaz. MAC PRO LIP PALETTE in PlumI’m really into a dark lip right now so Hang Up has been my go to color! Want to know more about Tamie? Check out her business Facebook page. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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style & beauty
PRODUCT
SPOTLIGHT “Miracle in a jar” - that’s how Editor, Sarah Hartley, describes this new line of skincare products. Made entirely of natural ingredients, this line of face wash, toner and oils has the capabilities to make your skin brighter, cleaner and fresher in just a few days!
DAMN GOOD FACE WASH Why did you start making your own products?
I began making my own products about three years ago. As a wife, a mom of two, an RN, and a GAPS Practitioner I know how important it is to put the right things both IN and ON your body. Same goes for your environment. I began making my own bum wipes for the kids, toothpaste, deodorant, cleaning products, laundry detergent, and on and on. By doing so, I know exactly what is in the things we use on a daily basis. It’s comforting. For awhile I was giving away the face wash to friends and family. I used to store it in old baby food jars. When my sister Bridget (of Tales of Me and the Husband) encouraged me to begin selling it, the ball began it’s roll.
How did you come up with the formulas for the various products? I have been using most of the ingredients in one way or another for years now. I did a bunch of research and started putting things together until I found something that worked for me. Turns out it works for others as well. For example, in formulating The Works Damn Good Face Wash I combined things I knew to be tried-and-true for me. I have used coconut oil as a face and body moisturizer and an eye-makeup remover, raw honey as a spot treatment, baking soda as an gentle exfoliant, bentonite clay as a mask, and tea tree oil for those pesky zits that don’t want to go away. Putting them all together just made sense so that I could reap all the benefits in a streamlined way.
SHOP NOW! What is next for Damn Good Face Wash?
That’s a great question. I am working on something for the low-maintenance man in my life...a simple all-over wash. My mom has requested a body scrub so that’s in the works too. With summer coming, it makes sense to have some damn good body scrub to keep you supple after all the sand and surf, right? If you have any requests, send them on over.
Why do you think it’s important to list the ingredients on the front of your labels? I want to know what is in the things I eat and the things I put on myself and my family. I can appreciate that others want that same full disclosure. That is why I put the ingredients right on the front of the products. The ingredients are damn good so I fly that flag proudly. produced by sarah hartley
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It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. -J.K. Rowling
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interiors
Click To Shop!
INST fa c e
Feeling the urge to update your room, but low on ca est way to give a room a new look. They’re ine
produced by s
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interiors
Click To Shop!
TANT elift
ash? Changing up your throw pillows is the quickexpensive, and a commitment-phobes dream.
sarah hartley
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interiors
PICTURE PERFECT N U R S E RY When Zoe K. Namey was expecting her first baby, she wanted to design the perfect room to welcome him into the world. She looked to Pinterest for inspiration and created a magical, light filled room for her baby boy. See more on her blog: Zoe With Love text and images by zoe k. namey
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interiors
When designing my son’s nursery, I couldn’t help but be inspired by all the simple and modern spaces I was seeing on Instagram and Pinterest. The first thing I did was find and buy the animal prints because I absolutely fell in love with them in pictures of other nurseries. From there, I was able to put the rest of the pieces together. Sticking with the animal theme, I painstakingly curated stuffed animals that would look great on display. I’m really fond of the Jellycat brand and like to get one on special occasions to add to his collection. I also included my favorite stuffed animal from when I was a kid, Teddy, who doesn’t really get played with yet but has a special spot on the bookshelf.
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interiors
The furniture is small in scale and is just enough to fit into the space. By removing the closet doors, the room felt visually bigger and gave a place to fit a dresser. Adding shelving and baskets gave more storage and helps keep the closet from looking messy. The dresser is from Ikea and is dressed up with Anthropologie knobs, an inexpensive way to get a custom look for whatever theme you choose. The overall goal was to keep the room simple and modern without being stark. A soft grey on the walls, black accents and natural wood tones really fits the bill when trying to achieve this particular look.
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interiors
I have a mom confession, my son has never actually slept a night in his room. We’ve co-slept since he was 5 weeks old and never looked back. While we use the room everyday to play, get dressed and (occasionally) nap in, I never would have thought he wouldn’t be sleeping in there on a regular basis. Truth be told, I don’t really mind it, but am looking forward to when he is ready to sleep (through the night, that is) in his room by himself.
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interiors
DIY
DIP DYE CURTAINS text & images by sarah wissinger
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interiors
One of the worst aspects of renting an apartment is not being able to make major décor changes. Wouldn’t a new coat of paint look nice? Sorry, don’t think so. What about ripping out that ugly old carpet? Fat chance. However, simple changes can drastically change the look and feel of a home. One of the easiest ways to transform a room is by switching out your curtains. Want to know the best part? Curtains are so easy to DIY – no sewing machine required! Follow the steps below to make your own dip dyed curtains! YOU WILL NEED: White twin size flat sheet(s) Liquid fabric dye in your choice of color Large bucket or tub Clothesline & clothespins INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Soak your sheet in water and wring out until damp. 2. In a large bucket or tub, mix together dye, water, and salt per the instructions on your dye’s packaging. 3. Hang your sheet over a clothesline and secure with clothespins. Dip the bottom 1/3 of your sheet into the dye bath. 4. After 5 minutes, pull out 6” of your sheet and soak the remainder for another 10-15 minutes. 5. Remove sheet from dye bath and rinse out remaining dye with cold water. Make sure you rinse from top to bottom so that your dye doesn’t bleed into the white of the sheet. 6. Hang sheet to dry. Once dry, iron out wrinkles and hang it in your window! The best part about dip dyeing your own curtains is that you can completely customize them to fit your home! Fabric dye can be found in a variety of colors and you can dip your curtains in any pattern, as light or as dark as you want – the possibilities are endless!
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interiors
A PEEK INTO THE INTERIOR
Bethany Carlson, 29, an interior designer for LPA, Inc. takes us inside the mind of a designer and gives us tips on making our office space a place of productivity. produced by sarah hartley 28 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
interiors
Image courtesy of LPA, Inc. Architect: LPA, Inc.
What type of training did you have to become an Interior Designer? To be a commercial interior designer, I received a bachelor’s degree in Interior Architecture (design) from Ohio University. The program was an accredited, regulated program. I gained the most knowledge about the field through various internships in residential and commercial type firms. Licensure through the NCIDQ (National Council for Interior Design Qualifications) or a state test is necessary as well further down the road to insure technical knowledge and experience.
When designing, where do you start? How do you gather inspiration? After the initial client meeting and information gathering session, imagery is the best place for me to gather inspiration. This really happens every day as I encounter new spaces, look at the construction detailing of items, and peruse magazine and websites. I am the weirdo looking under chairs to see who made them and petting cool walls in public spaces!
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interiors
with window line offices or an open creative office. I think allowing for different types of work spaces is important no matter the culture. Mixing in collaborative work areas with individual spaces allows all types of workers the focus space they need. In San Diego, we are big believers of outdoor work spaces! As much connection to the outdoors as possible always makes people happy.
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In your own office, what are your essentials to get you into designer mode? Focus time, closing email, putting in headphones, pulling out images and trace paper. Just starting to draw anything and get to know the parameters of the projects in depthly all helps deliver a thought out, fully vetted design solution to the client.
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What is the biggest challenge with designing commercial spaces? That the building bones of each building are very different from each other. This presents different challenges with what you can achieve in the layout, ceiling heights, etc...Every building is unique.
Image courtesy of LPA, Inc. Architect: LPA, Inc.
Do you have any trademarks that you incorporate into all of your designs? I don’t have any trademarks in terms of incorporating a specific style or item. For me, the style completely depends on the current architecture of the building and the desires and culture of the client. I hope that my trademark is great service and delivery throughout the entire project with happy clients.
How do you take something “boring” like a typical cubicle and transform it into a place people enjoy being? Allowing flexibility for people to make the space their own is important. Changeable walls graphics, moveable furniture, and writable surfaces allow employees to use the space as needed. Creating small spaces for breaks or fun activities can really liven up a space as well.
You’ve done a workshop on residential design, what are a few tips you have for creating a well decorated home? Make it your own! And start small. It is really overwhelming to try and think about decorating an entire house. Start by focusing on one room. I like pieces that have double functions. A trunk for toy storage that also has a cushion for a bench or a cube bookshelf on it’s side which serves as storage and a TV stand. I feel better when everything has a specific place, even if it’s not always put away. Paint is cheap and the best way to make a quick, impactful change!
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What is the biggest misconception about Interior Design? The general public doesn’t have the opportunity to see how much technical, construction, and code knowledge an interior designer needs to know. Interior design is not just drapery and paint colors. It includes everything about the interior of a building from architectural features to lighting to ceiling types and construction. What is important for a productive workplace for your clients? A space that fits their culture whether they are traditional 30 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
What has been your greatest moment to date, professionally? I didn’t know it at the time, but jumping without hesitation into my current position and the design community in San Diego as it has really helped to create roots in my new city. I have grown so much and have made some great friends.
interiors
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Image courtesy of LPA, Inc. Architect: LPA, Inc.
WE OFFER PRINT ISSUES, DIGITAL ISSUES, AND PLENTY OF SUBSCRIPTION OPTIONS!
Image courtesy of LPA, Inc. Architect: LPA, Inc. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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interiors
DIY
PHOTO COASTERS text & images by jess downey
SUPPLIES NEEDED: Photo Paper // Mod Podge // Sponge Brush // Ceramic Tiles (4x4) // Spray Gloss // Cork Rounds Instructions: 1. Choose your photos and print them on photo paper. Print the photos at 3.5 x 5 and cut them down to fit the tile. 2. Cover tile with a generous coat of mod podge. 3. Place photo on the tile and press down. Try to flatten the photo as much as possible. 4. Cover photo and tile with another generous coat of mod podge. Make sure it’s as even as possible. If there are any bubbles in the photo just smooth them out with your fingers. Don’t worry, the white paste will dry clear. 5. Let dry for about 5-10 minutes. 6. Repeat step 4 several times letting it dry 5-10 minutes each time until the photo and tile look like they are one piece (four to five times should be enough) 7. Spray gloss adhesive over the tile and let it dry over night or for about 24 hours. 8. Place cork rounds on bottom corners of coaster. Tip: Using Instagram photos works perfectly for this project because they’re already square and the perfect size. 32 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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If you can dream, you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse. -Walt Disney 34 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
business
IN BUSINESS
Small business owner, Jolie Ankrom, 27, takes us behind the scenes of her hand design and lettering company, Brim
Papery.
produced by sarah hartley // images by jolie ankrom
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business
Why did you start Brim Papery? When my daughter was born, I quit my job, partially out of necessity. My husband works a very demanding job, and it just didn’t make sense to us to have both of us out of the home in restrictive schedules. But soon after
I quit, I realized that I really enjoyed working and wanted to find something that allowed me to work flexibly while still being at home with my daughter. Lettering naturally fell into place as something I really enjoyed and felt there was a market for, so I pursued it! Though you have no formal design training, have you always been a designer at heart? I think so, yes! All of my school notebooks growing up were filled with doodles and lettering, but I didn’t really understand at the time how that could be a viable career, so I never pursued it. Where do you gather inspiration for new products? Typically I design for my own needs, which sounds a little selfish now that I type it out, but it’s true! When I want a product that I can’t find anywhere, I think, wait, I should just make that! That’s how many of my products were born, like my grocery list notepad, for example.
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business
Tell us about your design process. I’m very fundamental because I lack a lot of formal design knowledge. Typically I sketch out designs in a junky notebook (like from the dollar bin at Target.) Often times I will go through several sheets of paper and erase designs before I land on one I’m happy with. At that point I will use my light table to get the design onto some respectable paper with ink. Once I have a final ink design, I will scan it into my computer to work with it in whatever form I need. Typically I vectorize it in Adobe Illustrator, but sometimes the medium I use doesn’t allow for that, so it just depends.
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What is the toughest part of running your own business? I think it’s wearing so many hats (the administrative hat, the advertising hat, the packaging hat, the design hat, etc.), and, maybe even more so, knowing when it’s time to pass that hat onto someone else. Most small business owners I know are midnight-oil-burning perfectionists, myself included, and it’s hard for me to trust someone else to take on tasks, even when they seem mundane. Not being able or wiling to pass on certain elements of your work can really hinder your ability to grow in the long run, but outsourcing to any degree also cuts into your profits and your “control” over the process. I’m still learning, in this regard.
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How do you keep yourself going even when things are hard? There are a few things I do! I love to read my customer reviews on Etsy. It’s like a chance to fill my emotional bank with affirmations that I’m good at what I do and that people enjoy my work. I also think back on when I was a teacher and how much more restricted my schedule would be now that I’m a mother, and so being grateful for the freedom I have to do what I want when I want is a huge motivator for me.
you bring in, somehow working for yourself can still feel very – I don’t know, illegitimate? It’s silly, but you feel ilke your job isn’t a “real” job because you’re not cutting a “real” paycheck from an employer – and because, many times, people don’t really know what you do because you do it from home and don’t interact with others. But earning what I used to make from my job that required a college degree really made me feel like I had accomplished something tangible.
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Do you keep yourself to a set schedule during your workdays? Any organizational tips that have helped you? I don’t have a set schedule, no, because what needs to be done fluctuates depending on the time of the month and how much merchandise I’m pushing. But, I do always sit down the evening before a workday and make a running list of things that need to be accomplished, and in what order. I try to only check my email twice during most days, especially during work days, so I’m not spending hours juggling messages and working on correspondence, which can always suck you in if you’re not careful.
What advice do you have for other creatives who want to start their own business? Don’t wait until you have all of the answers, please! Don’t wait! I see so many people hemming and hawing about how much they don’t know, and all I can say is, you cannot learn unless you do, plain and simple. If you really want it, jump in, and you’ll figure it out as you go.
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You send 10% of monthly profits to The Hard Places Community in Cambodia. Why is this community so important to you? When I first moved to Columbus I met a friend who was incredibly passionate about Cambodia. She had been there with her family multiple times, and actually, she and her husband and three children now live there! She opened my eyes to the alarming amount of children affected by sex slavery in Cambodia, and I couldn’t help but want to make a continued effort once I learned bout it. The Hard Places Community is the specific organization my friend worked with, so it felt good to know that there were real faces and people behind where I was sending the money.
What does the future hold for Brim Papery? People ask me this all the time, and to be honest, I don’t know! I know a lot of business owners who have one year and three year and ten year plans that include them having more managerial positions and growing in space and employees, but I’m honestly not certain where I want it to go. At my core, I always long for balance between family and work – to have an outlet for my creative passions but not one that becomes something that overtakes my entire life. So I’m taking it one day at a time and making sure I’m continually checking on how I feel about my professional life in conjunction with my personal life!
SHOP BRIM PAPERY
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What 3 things do you wish you had known before starting Brim Papery? Hard work and desire can trump pedigree, generosity with others will pay you back tenfold, and not to expend energy on haters, naysayers, or people who rip your work from you. It’s not worth your time! What has been your proudest business moment so far? It’s always a little awkward (or maybe unprofessional?) to talk numbers, but hands down the moment I was proudest of in my career was the first month that I outearned what I used to make as a teacher. That was a big moment for me. No matter what kind of money
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Career Profile Karen Waggoner, 32, helps to save lives in the operating room in her job as a perfusionist.
So, what exactly IS a perfusionist?
A perfusionist is a clinical professional responsible for operating the heartlung machine in cardiac surgery. When a patient undergoes open-heart surgery, the surgeon must open and manipulate the heart, which requires the patient’s heart to stop (yes, stop) and the lungs to stop breathing. The heart lung machine pumps blood through the body, and oxygenates the patient’s blood while the surgeon is operating (this is called bypass).
What type of school and training is required for your job?
There are a variety of specialized schools that train perfusionists. Many are master’s programs, as well as post undergraduate certificate and undergraduate programs. Typically the perfusion program is two years consisting of a didactic year of science classes and labs, followed by a clinical year of operating room experience.
What made you decide to become a perfusionist?
When I graduated in 2005 with a bachelors of science in Anthropology, I did not have many career options. I stumbled upon the perfusion profession and met the requirements so I applied to school and gave it a try! I was very lucky – I didn’t really understand what I was getting myself into (especially the student loans), but the profession turned out to be a great fit for me. produced by sarah hartley 40 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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What is the best part of your job? The worst?
The best part of my job is knowing the surgery is helping someone’s family member, and many times giving the patient many more years added to their life. And I love working together on a real team, everyone with a specific role – that is an amazing experience everyday! The worst part is probably being on call on holidays and weekends, or when the weather is horrible. I have 30 minutes to respond when on call, and I live on the far edge of the call range, so it is stressful knowing I have to drop everything and leave within about 2 minutes to go to work at any given moment.
What do your work days look like?
On regular days I get to work around 6:45am, get my equipment set up, read about the patient’s medical history and prepare to go on bypass. The time the patient spends on the heart lung machine is about 1-3 hours depending on the surgery. After bypass, I clean up my machine and do lab tests on the patient. I don’t really have any set hours in a day, I have worked for 3 hours before and 30 hours straight. It just depends on if I am on call and what cases get scheduled.
What type of responsibilities do you have outside of the operating room?
I spend about 90% of my time in the operating room. The 10% I spend outside is doing laboratory testing on patients to see why they may be bleeding and directing the attending physicians to which blood products may be beneficial to help the patient stop bleeding. I guess you can say 100% of my job has to do with blood!
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ORGANIZE THAT OFFICE
If your office is full of clutter and you don’t know where to start, read our tips for getting your office in tip top shape. text by skylar blackwell
GET RID OF IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS SAFELY Invest in a paper shredder and use it to get rid of any documents that contain personal information like your signature, birthdate, account numbers and pins. You cannot be too careful when it comes to properly disposing of sensitive information. In a world that is quickly becoming paperless it is no longer necessary to hang onto documents for years on end. For more information on how long to keep your documents, visit: http:// www.usa.gov INVEST IN A FIRE-PROOF SAFE For important documents that you do need to hold on to, I recommend getting a small fire proof safe that you can pick up and take with you in an emergency. These are fairly inexpensive, and are worth the investment should that situation ever arise. This is a great place to keep your passports, birth certificates and other important information. MAKE FRIENDS WITH A LABEL MAKER Not only will it get you organized and help you find things quicker, it’ll look pretty, too! A little set up time to get your filing system in order will save you hours of time later rifling through papers and cursing under your breath. Make a point to file items regularly (daily, weekly, whatever works for your schedule). If you don’t make this a routine practice, the paper clutter will spiral out of control quickly. PURGE REGULARLY Take the same approach that you would to organizing your closet, take everything out and organize from there. Yes, everything! It really does feel liberating to clean out every drawer and put everything in its proper place. Reward yourself by buying something cute to keep you organized- a pencil case, desk organizer, etc. MAKE YOUR WORKSPACE INSPIRING Whether you have a corner of a bedroom as an office or a full room, make it a place that speaks to you, a place that you’ll want to spend time in.
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You Will Need: Bulletin Board Fabric (enough to cover board) Upholstery Tacks Hammer Heavy Duty Stapler
ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS PREVIEW? Instructions:
1. Choose a cork board. Make sure it is thick enough to nail upholstery tacks into. 2. Choose a fabric that you like, and buy enough to cover your board. 3. Lay the fabric on top of the board, making sure to smooth out any wrinkles. 4. Hammer the tacks around the edge. Alternate the sides of the board as you are hammering in the tacks, this will help keep the fabric tight and keep any wrinkles from creeping up. 5. Once you are done with the decorative tacks on the front of the board, flip your board over and trim off the excess fabric, leaving about 1� of excess around the edge. Then use your stapler to secure the fabric. 6. Hang and enjoy your new, cuter way to organize your office.
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B U LLET I N B O A R D D I Y A QUICK, EASY, AND CUTE UPDATE TO A STANDARD OFFICE PRODUCT, THIS DIY WILL MAKE YOUR WORKSPACE INSTANTLY PERSONALIZED AND MORE FUN. text & images by skylar blackwell
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The future belongs to those that live within the beauty of their dreams. -Eleanor Roosevelt
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CLASSIC
VANILLA CAKE Whether you’re deciding to make a cake for an upcoming birthday party, baby shower or special event, having a go-to cake you can whip up in an afternoon is an absolute MUST. One of my favorite things to bake is a personal-sized cake. These are not only the most fun to decorate but also to put out and show off! You can create two or three cakes to serve most regular sized parties and display them on stands of varying heights to create fun and eye-catching set ups. But before we get that far… you have to make the cake! text & images by hannah reynolds
For The Cake You Will Need: 5 large egg whites, at room temperature 1 cup whole milk, at room temperature 2-1/4 teaspoons pure vanilla extract 3 cups cake flour, sifted 1-3/4 cups sugar 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon baking powder 3/4 teaspoon salt 12 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature and cut into cubes
For The Frosting You Will Need: 2 cups room temperature butter 1 (13-ounce) jar marshmallow crème 4 cups confectioners sugar 2 teaspoons vanilla
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INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE CAKE: 1. Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C). Grease and flour two round 8-inch pans. 2. In a medium bowl, combine the egg whites, 1/4 cup of milk, and the vanilla and set aside. 3. Using your electric mixer fitted with the paddle/mix attachment, combine the dry ingredients at low speed for 30 seconds. Add the butter and remaining milk, and mix at low speed until just moistened. 4. Increase to medium speed and mix for 1-1/2 minutes. Scrape the sides of the bowl and begin to add the egg mixture in 3 separate batches. Make sure to beat at medium speed for 20 seconds after each addition. 5. Divide the batter in two, evenly with a small offset palette knife. If you have a kitchen scale, weigh to ensure 2 even layers. If you don’t, that’s okay! You can eyeball it and trim your cakes before stacking/ assembling your pieces. 6. Bake 25-35 minutes or until a cake tester comes clean when inserted into the center. Be careful to not over-bake! Check cake at 20 minutes, but not before and once you feel it's almost ready, set the timer at 2 minute intervals. Let cool on cookie/baking racks for 10 minutes before loosening the sides with a small metal spatula, and remove onto greased wire racks. Gently turn cakes back up, so the tops are up.
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To preserve moisture I always wrap my cakes in saran wrap and put them inside a ziplock bag. I remove as much air as possible and let them cool on a flat surface in the fridge. Cakes are best if eaten the same day but you can eat with maximum freshness for up to 3 days once decorated.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE FROSTING: 1. In your electric mixer fitted with the paddle/mix attachment, whip butter for 6 minutes on medium speed. Butter will become very pale & creamy. 2. Add in your marshmallow crème and whip for 2 minutes. 3. Add your powdered sugar and mix at low speed for 1 minute, then add your vanilla extract and mix at medium speed for 6 minutes. Frosting will be very light, creamy and fluffy. Best used right away.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ASSEMBLING YOUR CAKE: 1. First you want to unwrap your cooled cakes. I want to place a huge emphasis on them being cool all the way through. Warm cakes will melt icing and cause your layers to slide apart. We don’t want that! 2. Your cakes should first be leveled to make a flat top and then sliced into two ½ inch layers. This will give you 4 even layers to create height and interest on your personal size cake once sliced. 3. Next you will place your first layer of cake and then put down a thin layer of frosting. You always want to put a small dollop of icing in the center of your cake stand before you lay down your first cake, this will help hold it in place throughout decorating and cutting. 4. You will alternate cake and frosting until you’ve used all 4 layers. 5. Frost the top of your cake and add a thin coat around the sides before placing in the fridge to cool for approximately 30 minutes. This will finish off what we call a crumb coat. A crumb coat is essential because it allows all of the cake to seal up inside the first layer of frosting and not show up in your outer decoration. 6. Once your crumb coat has cooled, pull your cake out and put about ¼-½ inch layer of frosting over your entire cake depending on how bad your sweet tooth is! We want to smooth the icing around the sides so that the surface is level before we add our rustic texture. You simply want to use the end of your frosting spatula to create small half circles in rows up the sides of your cake and then in circles on the top. 7. Place your cake back in the fridge for another 30 minutes to firm up your new layer and you now have a beautiful AND delicious personal sized cake!
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SIMPLE SLOW COOKER CORNED BEEF text & images by jennifer stright
Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 8 hours Makes 6 servings
You Will Need: 1 corned beef brisket, 3-4 lbs 1 white onion, chopped 3 carrots, chopped 2 garlic cloves 2 cups beef broth 1/4 cup tomato paste
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce 2/3 cup light brown sugar Dash of red pepper 1 tablespoon kosher salt 1/2 tablespoon fresh cracked pepper
Instructions: 1. Layer 1/3 of chopped veggies in bottom of slow cooker (this helps keep the brisket from sticking to the bottom). 2. Place corned beef on top with fat cap up. 3. Add remaining veggies and garlic on top and around the sides of the meat. 4. In a bowl, mix the beef broth, tomato paste, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar and red pepper. Pour mix over the beef. 5. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. 6. Cook on low for about 8 hours. It will fall apart when it’s done. 7. Shred with forks, or tongs. Tips: + Because corned beef tends to be salty, you may wish to use low/reduced sodium beef broth and to omit the tablesoon of salt the recipe calls for + Use baby carrots to save yourself prep time
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CLICK HERE TO GET THE CHICKEN PASTA FULL ISSUE WITH PEPPERS text & images by jess downey
Prep Time: 25 minutes Cook Time: 18 minutes
Makes 5 servings You Will Need: 1 box penne pasta 1 green pepper, chopped 1-1 1/2 cups Italian dressing 1 red pepper, chopped 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese 2 lbs. boneless, skinless chicken breast Instructions: 1. Cook pasta as directed on box. You’ll want it al dente or it will end up a mushy mess once everything is put together. 2. Chop chicken into bite-sized, or smaller, pieces. 3. Put chicken in pan and brown. 4. Once chicken is brown, add peppers and Italian dressing. 5. Bring mixture to boil and then turn heat to medium-low and let it simmer for about 15 minutes or until the peppers are soft. Stir occasionally. 6. Combine chicken mixture and pasta in a pan over low heat for 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly so the pasta gets coated nicely. 7. Pour into serving dish and top with parmesan cheese.
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SNICKERDOODLES text & images by rachael garling
Prep Time: 20 minutes Cook Time: 10-12 minutes per batch
Makes 36-40 cookies
You Will Need: 1/2 cup cold butter (1 stick) 1/2 cup lard (or shortening) 1 1/2 cup white sugar 2 eggs 2 tsp vanilla extract
2 3/4 cup all-purpose flour 2 tsp cream of tartar 1 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp salt 2 Tbsp white sugar 2 tsp cinnamon
Instructions: 1. Preheat the oven to 400 degress F (200 degrees C) 2. Cream together the butter, lard, 1 1/2 cups sugar, eggs and the vanilla. 3. Once creamed blend in the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt. 4. Mix the 2 tablespoons of white sugar and 2 teaspoons of cinnamon in a small bowl. 5. Use a cookie scoop to create the cookie balls and then roll them in the cinnamon sugar mixture. 6. Place at least 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet. 7. Oven times may vary but for lard you’ll need to bake 10-12 minutes. For regular shortening 8-10 minutes or until golden brown. Remove immediately from baking sheets and place on a cooling rack.
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ZUMBA!
It’s fast, it’s fun, and you work your ass off. Zumba has taken the fitness world by storm. Hear from Zumba instructor Susan, on what makes this workout so incredible. produced by sarah hartley
Name: Susan Age: 32 Occupation: Zumba Instructor How long have you been teaching Zumba? Six years What was the training like to become an instructor? To receive my official instructor certificate, I had to go through an intense and expensive day of training. I also continue to attend instructor classes and pay monthly to keep my certification active. It involves so much more than simply “being certified” to become a successful instructor, but the amount of work is greatly outweighed by the awesome feeling of making a difference in someone’s life. Everyone generally walks into my Zumba class with the goal of getting fit, and not only do I strive to make that goal a reality, but it is also important for me to help others grow mentally stronger, release stress and have fun together.
Read more about Susan and see her Zumba schedule!
Why did you decide to become a Zumba instructor? I fell in love with Zumba when I took my first class. The music was pulsating, I was working up a sweat while dancing around and having fun the entire time! I kept going regularly for about a year and took the advice of my instructor to get certified. 52 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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What is your favorite thing about teaching? My absolute favorite thing about teaching is the responses I get from the people in my classes, whether it be someone telling me they were having a terrible day until they came to class, someone showing off their new smaller pants, or someone bursting into laughter during class. Knowing that I am bettering someone’s day and life is incredibly fulfilling. How do you come up with new routines? I get some ideas directly from the Zumba Instructors Network and YouTube videos, but mostly it’s a combination of those as well as a lot of my own moves. It generally results in hours/days of me nitpicking each motion until it is exactly what I want. Although it sounds fun to “just come up with a dance,” the truth is that I am meticulous about the specific fitness moves incorporated and the balance of working different muscle groups at a variety of intensity levels to achieve the maximum impact, while keeping it fresh and fun.
“Approximately ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS PREVIEW?15
million people take weekly Zumba classes in over 140,000 locations across more than 185 countries.”
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Why do you think Zumba is so popular? I think Zumba is such a world-wide phenomenon simply because it is fun and effective. It can be incredibly hard to get motivated to work out, but it is truly unique when something like this comes along that not only works, but makes you want to keep coming back for more!
(source)
How can someone make the most of their Zumba workout? Keep moving! I encourage my students to modify moves to better suit them. What’s most important is raising their heart rate to a healthy level and burning calories while having fun! What would you tell someone who was afraid to take their first Zumba class? Don’t be nervous. Everyone has had their own first day. If I were you, I would be more concerned about all of the calorie-burning fun you’re missing if you don’t try it. :-) Any tips to being fit, aside from Zumba? Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. Drink plenty of water throughout the day, especially on days when you workout, and enjoy the good night’s sleep you get after shaking up a storm in class!
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Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live. -Henry David Thoreau
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THE GIRL NEXT DOOR produced by sarah hartley
Name: Hannah Alberstadt, 28 Occupation: I’m an editor and a writer evaluator for a sports website. What did you want to be when you grew up? According to My Book About Me, which I filled out at age five, I wanted to be “a doctor and a mommy and an artist.” Oh, how things change. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? London. Unfortunately, my husband hates flying, so I might be taking a solo trip someday. What is your morning routine like? I work from home starting at 7 a.m. Monday through Friday. I wake up around 6, take a shower, get dressed (OK, I usually put on loungewear) and make breakfast before work begins. One of my goals for the year is to start getting up earlier so I can squeeze in a morning workout as well, but that hasn’t happened yet. Do you have any hobbies? I enjoy photography, vegetarian (increasingly vegan) cooking, reading and taking weekend trips with my husband. I’m also a recent running convert, though I’m not very good.
Are you a cat or dog person? I love all animals, but I’m a crazy cat lady. My kitties are my sun, my moon, my stars. (See? I told you; I’m totally crazy.) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? A delicious smoothie packed with fruits and veggies. If you were stranded on an island, what three items would you want with you? I debated how practical my answer should be and ultimately settled on the following: (1) a copy of my favorite novel, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, (2) a journal and writing utensil (that counts as one thing, right?) and (3) a field guide to help me survive. What has been your proudest moment in your life? This might sound like a small thing, but my proudest moment was deciding not to be a lawyer after going to law school. I felt pressure to pursue a legal career for a variety of reasons and spent nearly three years trying to convince myself it was the right thing to do, but once I was honest with myself, I felt free to choose a new path, and I’m so much happier and more fulfilled as a result. Follow Hannah on Instagram: @hfalberstadt Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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LIVING WITH PTSD Facing her triggers every day, one woman describes living with post traumatic stress disorder and the complications she faces. text by anonymous
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Hello.
My name is… Well I guess it doesn’t matter what my name is. I’m not going to share it with you not because I am ashamed about what I am about to say but rather because what I am about to say is deeply personal. Even those closest to me don’t know what I’m about to say. I’m not even sure my parents know. There are literally less than a handful of people that know. Mostly because it’s not anyone else’s business and I don’t want people to judge me or my actions based on it. I guess I should tell you what IT is since that’s the whole point of this. About 8 years ago I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yep, I have PTSD and boy let me tell you how fun it is! Just kidding. It fucking sucks. But at least now I know what’s going on with me and how to handle it. Honestly, sometimes there is no handling it. Sometimes it just needs to run its course. But my therapist has helped me figure out what some of my triggers are and how to deal with them in a healthy manner, although that’s not always what I do. What can I say? I’m human.
SO LET’S GO BACK TO WHERE this all started. Although I was diagnosed less than 10 years ago it is believed that I have been suffering from PTSD for most of my adult life. I had originally thought that it stemmed from being in an abusive relationship. I dated a real winner for nearly a decade. During that time
I was called stupid, worthless and a whore. I am none of those things. I am college educated, a fiercely loyal friend/daughter/sister, I truly enjoy giving back to my community and have always been committed in every relationship I have been in. Even when I was abused, I was committed. Although most of the abuse was not physical (though there was some pushing and shoving), it is still considered abuse. Most of the abuse I have encountered in my life has been emotional and psychological.
Not all abuse leaves you with bruises on the outside. I often thought – “Why doesn’t he just hit me? At least those bruises would heal faster.” But that’s not true either. Abuse is abuse – no matter what form it comes in. I think that’s why I stayed so long. Because there were no bruises on the outside, everything that happened was inside of me. And that’s where I kept it, locked away from everyone, even myself. Then one day I had a lightbulb moment. I was leaving, for good. I had tried to leave once before but it didn’t work because I didn’t go far enough away. This time I was going to put a few states between us so I wouldn’t be tempted to go back. That’s how strong his grip was on me – figuratively and literally. I needed to walk away once and for all. But as I said, that’s not the root of my PTSD. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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During my years of therapy I realized there were several more instances where I was abused in my life. PTSD has this amazing feature of helping you forget things. It’s a defense mechanism that my body developed to help cope and is typical for those of us with PTSD. And boy is it a blessing sometimes. But my therapist wanted to dig deeper so I underwent EMDR which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing Therapy. You can learn more about EMDR here. This is a brief synopsis of what the treatment entails :
a lot of loving and happy times. I also experienced a lot of sad and somewhat traumatizing events. I’ve been told since I was young that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough and most of that came from my father. It hurts to say that. I love my father but I also realize that he can be a very toxic person for me. I have siblings that would probably not agree with me but they have a different relationship with him than I do. God I really hate PTSD. Right now, as I type I can feel my body beginning to ache because of the pain I am reliving just by writing this story. That’s another side effect of PTSD. My body physically hurts when I have something trigger it. Let’s just say I get A LOT of upset stomachs. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. But I must continue to write so you get the full story.
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“During treatment various procedures and protocols are used to address the entire clinical picture. One of the procedural elements is “dual stimulation” using either bilateral eye movements, tones or taps. During the reprocessing phases the client attends momentarily to past memories, present triggers, or anticipated future experiences while simultaneously focusing on a set of external stimulus. During that time, clients generally experience the emergence of insight, changes in memories, or new associations. The clinician assists the client to focus on appropriate material before initiation of each subsequent set.”
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Through my therapy I learned that my father is a trigger because of past events. Today I am very cautious about the relationship I have with him and am happy to say that it is (mostly) good. Growing up, I never met his expectations. I was never smart enough or athletic enough for him even though I got good grades and was active in many sports. But because I wasn’t at the top of my class or standing on a podium after a meet I was considered a failure. A great deal of my childhood consisted of being compared to my little brother who was at the top of his class and was standing on the podium after a meet. Today, any time I feel like I haven’t excelled at something I feel I should have is a trigger for me. It takes me back to my childhood and the feelings I had when my father was disappointed in me. Which happened a lot. Knowing what my triggers are is incredibly important. It can be a person, place or thing that puts me into a PTSD episode. Those episodes can last for a moment to months. Being aware of what has caused it and focusing on being healthy is beyond difficult. Sometimes I don’t know something is going to trigger a past memory or feeling and once
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The therapy left me feeling a bit lightheaded but that passed within an hour. What was surprising was how much of my past I was finally able to remember. Moments of my life that I had buried deep inside that now became clear. What became even clearer is that what truly caused my PTSD are events that happened to me at a young age.
I DON’T REMEMBER A LOT OF MY childhood and I always envy those that do. That’s not to say that I had a bad childhood. I certainly experienced
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it does I usually have to take a step back from life. I have to focus on me and remind myself of all the good that I have. Easier said than done. With PTSD comes depression, which I have suffered from since I was a teenager. Not that high school is hard enough, but add severe depression to it and that’s what I lived with. Most of my high school friends will find that hard to believe. I wasn’t an introvert by any means; I was a happy and outgoing person. Most of that was an act. Fake it til you make it right? I am blessed that while I was in high school I had a friend who realized how much I was hurting and sought help through our school counselor, who in turned called my mother who called a therapist who I ended up hating and lying to just to make it go away. I cannot even begin to stress how important it is to have a therapist that you trust when dealing with depression (and PTSD as is my case). Because I didn’t trust my therapist I lied to make everything seem ok. I think I went to a handful of sessions, at best. Then I was released because I appeared to be okay. I honestly feel that if I had spoken up and told someone that I didn’t trust my therapist my PTSD would have been diagnosed sooner. And who knows how that would have changed my life but I firmly believe I would not have gone down some of the paths that I did.
I mentioned before, there are less than a handful of people that know my secret. I have chosen those people because I am either married to them or I consider them the closest of my friends.
I HAVE NEVER USED MEDICATION TO COPE with my depression or PTSD because it isn’t
According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of PTSD may be visible three months after a traumatic event, or may not show up until years after. Symptoms include:
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a terrible disease that many still don’t know about. And just like many other things in life, not every case is the same. Although most people associate PTSD with the military it is also common in those that have suffered abuse. My PTSD stems from a childhood of being made to feel inadequate, to my teenage years of depression and onto a long term relationship filled with emotional and psychological abuse (as well as some physical). Those are the big three for me. My hope for anyone reading this is that you learn more about PTSD so that you can truly try to understand the disease. No one will ever fully understand it. But those of us with PTSD deserve to be loved and sometimes need a little bit more love than usual. Sometimes we need a little bit more reassurance and understanding and patience too. I’m not sad all the time; I’m a generally happy person. But when my PTSD gets the best of me I like knowing I have people I can talk to and that will support me and love me no matter what.
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the right solution for me. I have been seeing the same therapist off and on for the past 8 years. The “on” times are when my PTSD starts to consume my life and I realize I cannot go through it without her. She’s amazing and is a HUGE reason why I am happy today. She has made me realize so much about myself that it has made me more aware on a daily basis. I am aware of my surroundings – physically and mentally. I know what my triggers are (some still surprise me but for the most part I have them covered) so I know what situations and people to avoid. Yes, I avoid some people like the plague. Often times I have no choice but to be around them but those that know about my PTSD support me and help me through those situations. Sometimes I lose my grip on reality and go into a rage episode. It typically occurs when I have held things in for far too long. Those rage episodes are filled with screaming and crying and I typically don’t remember them the next day. I am happy to say that I haven’t had a rage episode in over 3 years and that is completely because of the help of my therapist. As
• Recurrent, distressing memories of the traumatic event • Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again • Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event • Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the event • Negative feelings about yourself or other people • Inability to experience positive emotions • Difficulty maintaining close relationships • Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior • Overwhelming guilt or shame • Self-destructive behavior • Trouble concentrating and sleeping • Being easily startled or frightened
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A DREAM
REALIZED It was something she had wanted to do for years, and she knew it was finally time to make her dream come true. text by cate dashwood
I HAVE NEVER
45-page short story was my idea of a great class. I loved writing then, and I still love it.
The sleepless nights. The constant worrying about whether you’re any good at this. The maddening task of finding that perfect opening line.
So perhaps it was with a somewhat-inflated ego I approached writing my first novel with some naiveté – and a very, very broken heart. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship, and I found myself starting over – yet again – at 29. I was ready to do something for myself, something that made me truly happy – something that would fulfill a childhood dream.
been in labor or had a newborn, but sometimes I imagine writing a book must be similar.
Ok, so maybe they’re not similar at all. But if you’d told me how hard writing a book is before I’d actually done it, I wouldn’t have believed you.
I wanted to finally write a book.
Writing has always come easy and been really fun to me. It’s been the one thing I knew I could count on in school. My first memory of writing a story was during the ISTEP test in fourth grade. I finished my test early and started writing a story about two of my Native American dolls on my leftover scrap paper. I still have that story, all written with my #2 pencil of course.
I had spent years coming up with starts to books, five or six pages that would eventually fizzle because I couldn’t answer the most important question to a writer: “What happens next?”
My love of writing continued – and admittedly really helped me get through college. There were several college courses that included lengthy papers that I sailed through. Writing a 25-page term paper or
This book was going to be different. I had a plan this time – I was going to write a romance novel. It was going to be a contemporary new adult (a relatively new genre generally meaning the main characters
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are 18-30ish), and the first one was going to be part one of five. I had an amazing friend named Traci Hilton who gave me wonderful advice and direction, and I started writing.
Of course I couldn’t celebrate for too long. I still had four more books to write.
And quickly discovered how hard it was to sit down, concentrate and actually write. Of course I was working a fulltime job at the time, so doing anything that remotely resembled work after being in front of a computer for eight hours wasn’t easy. My writing sessions would vary between 30 minutes to two hours and would go something like this: Ok, I’m just going to find a song on YouTube. Ooh, Jenna Marbles put a new video out! Yes, I do need to watch this tutorial on sculpting my eyebrows. Man, I’m getting hungry, I better find some salsa and chips. Oh dear, the kitchen needs cleaning. I’ll just do these 20 dishes. Time to pet the cat. Maybe I should do some laundry? I’m exhausted and my hair is disgusting, should I go take a shower? Crap, I’ve literally written 200 words. I was suddenly the queen of procrastinating, and would use any excuse to get out of writing – even though I really, really wanted to write! Why was this so difficult for me? It has always been my dream to be a writer, and suddenly here I was, unable (or unwilling) to actually do the hard work. So I forced myself. Sat my butt on the couch and wrote. I tried to hit 1000 words each night. Sometimes I did better. More times than not, I did worse. Each 10,000 words I wrote felt like another mountain I’d climbed, only to find myself faced with an even bigger mountain. It was like pulling teeth, finding the right words to say. But then one night I finished. I typed the last words to my first book, sat back on my couch and exhaled. I half-expected confetti to fall around me. I was so, so excited. I had done it. My first book might be badly written, it might need major editing, but it was DONE. And that’s the best advice I can give any prospective writer. I truly believe anyone can write a book. But you have to write it. As one of my favorite authors, Christina Dodd, wisely said, “You can edit crap. You can’t edit a blank page.” First drafts are always crap, but the hardest part is finishing them. And I had finished mine.
Cate’s first three romance novels will be released in Fall 2015. Follow her on Twitter @ catedashwood or visit her website www.catedashwood.com for more information.
What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up? Teacher, Author, Interior Decorator... And I teach so I’m winning at childhood. - Amy A vet. Until I learned I had to take science classes. Then a rock star until I realized I had no talent. - Joy A farmer. My farming relatives made it look awesome as a kid! - Tom Archeologist, I was fascinated by Egypt, but then everyone reminded me how fair I am and that I’d burn to a crisp in no time flat. - Pam
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I Had Weight Loss Surgery Amy knew it was time to do something drastic to lose the weight that had yo-yo’d for years. She wanted her children to have a healthy, happy mother and she wanted to ease the pain in her hip. She decided to undergo gastric sleeve surgery, but didn’t quite expect how difficult the aftermath would be. text by amy cook
“So you’ve made the decision to have weight loss surgery,” were the words spoken to me by my bariatric weight loss surgeon, Dr. Steven Poplowski. I was one of seven people sitting in a small room with chairs that were one and a half times as wide as chairs you would find in normal waiting rooms. For those of us that could no longer fit into chairs for average people, these were supposed to make us feel comfortable and normal. They made me feel awful. I wanted to raise my hand and say I had changed my mind and leave the room. Unfortunately, crippling anxiety left me frozen in place so as to not draw any attention to myself. “I am not like these people,” I thought. I did not have hundreds of pounds to lose. I was not suffering from diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. Two of the candidates had to be wheeled into the office because their ankles could no longer withstand their weight for the walk from the reception area to the smaller room we were now in. The thought, ‘I’m not like them’ kept racing through my brain. But, I was exactly like them and nothing like them at all. I did not know their stories and they were oblivious to mine. Who was I to judge their reasoning for weight loss surgery? I was, myself, a weight loss surgery candidate. I WAS NOT A PERSON WHO always struggled with weight. I was 105 pounds for most of high school. I stayed around 130 pounds for ten years after that. 62 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
My weight started to change when I got pregnant with my daughter, my third and last, child. I was 25 years old and had been steadily gaining weight for the past year. When I found out I was pregnant I weighed 150 pounds. I had been married for two years and while I wasn’t thrilled with the new weight gain, I accepted it. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” was my mantra and I was bound and determined to keep us fat and sassy. When I delivered my daughter I weighed in at 221 pounds. I couldn’t believe it. I had a c-section and left the hospital only five pounds lighter, despite giving birth to an eight pound child. I had heard that if you breastfed it would help you lose weight (and it worked with my son a few years prior). So I nursed. I did not lose a pound. Finally at nine months post-partum, I stopped nursing, went on Adipex©, and began the beginning of my weight loss journey. Adipex© works great but only for 90 days before your body becomes immune to it. I was working out, joined gyms, counted calories, stopped drinking sodas, and lost weight. Then I gained it back. I began getting pains in my hip and discovered I needed a hip replacement. The weight gain progressed. I could not get a handle on it. So I had the hip replacement, joined a gym, and began getting myself in shape to walk in my best friend’s wedding. I looked good, was down from 215 pounds to 170 pounds, and felt great. I knew I had a long way to go, but I was happy with the results I was getting.
life stories
Then something happened and I could not lose anymore. I got back on Adipex© and gained weight. I had B-12 shots given to me weekly and gained weight. I went to the gym and… you guessed it, I gained weight. Then I went to a doctor’s appointment and was 230 pounds. I was mortified. I knew something drastic had to be done and quickly. After all, I had three children and a husband who needed and deserved a healthy mom. Not to mention, an artificial hip that needed a break. So I made an appointment with Dr. Poplowski and his staff at the Forest Health Medical Center in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
TWO WEEKS LATER, ON FEBRUARY 17, 2015, I went to my surgery appointment. I was weighed in and, miracle of all miracles, I had lost ten pounds. I went into the pre-op room and was prepped for surgery. The gastric sleeve procedure means that you have half of your stomach removed. The entire surgery takes under an hour. I was woken up quickly with little memory of even being wheeled back and I was taken to my room where my husband was waiting for me. Recovery was acceptable. My husband had the surgery eight months prior to mine and I knew what to expect. I had four thumbnail sized holes in my stomach from the scopes and a hole that was about an inch and a half long where they removed my stomach. I was given a sponge for the dry mouth and told I would be allowed to move up to ice chips the next day.
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WHEN YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO HAVE weight loss surgery the first thing you do is decide which, out of three, procedures you feel would be the best fit for you. The options are gastric bypass, gastric sleeve, or the Lapband©. I opted to have the gastric sleeve. You meet with the doctor in a small group and he discusses with you all of the options for the three surgeries, his opinions on them all, and what your life will be like after the surgery is over. Then you meet with the doctor individually. He asks you what your personal choice for surgery is, why you have decided to have the surgery, what you have tried before, and if you are certain you have exhausted all of your other options. The next step is your psychiatric evaluation. This was a requirement of my insurance company and is mandatory when having elective surgery. I had to complete a test that was comprised of 420 questions. I had an hour and a half to complete the test and I finished in 42 minutes. Then I met with the psychiatrist who went over my results, made sure I was of sound mind, and discussed my home situation and whether or not I would have the proper support system post-surgery. After that you get a surgery date. From that moment on you are supposed to lose 5-10% of your body weight pre-surgery. This helps the liver return to a more manageable size and allows the doctor to get past the liver to perform the surgery.
I am an amazing patient. I do not argue. I do exactly what I am told and I don’t complain. When I was asked
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This stage was incredibly difficult for me. It was right after the holidays and I didn’t feel like dieting at all. I wanted every meal to be my “last meal” and was trying to indulge in all of my favorites before the surgery. I went to my two week pre-surgery appointment weighing in at 231 pounds. I had managed to gain a pound. They did lab work, explained to me how to wash for my surgery, told me what medications were now off-limits and what medications I would permitted to continue. I also spoke to a nutritionist to talk about healthy food options and what to eat to lose weight before my surgery date.
Before: December 2014 231 lbs.
After: May 2015 183 lbs. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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to get up and walk, I did it. I took two laps around the floor of the hospital wing every hour. I wanted to be discharged the next day and the only way to ensure that is to walk, get the gas out of you, and pass your ultrasound. Twenty-four hours after the surgery you are given dye to swallow to make sure that nothing leaks from the incision. Once you have done that, you can go home.
weight. It was not. My incision site hurt for five weeks post-surgery. It hurt to stand, sit, and sleep. Nothing made me comfortable. Then I realized that every time I spent time with family or friends, we celebrated our triumphs or shared in our sorrows with food and drink. I could no longer partake in activities like this. Brunch with the girls? Sure, I ate a slice of bacon and had a third of my orange juice before I was full. Dinner out? I stopped at half of one slice of pizza and could not even sip my water while they finished their meals due to the 5/30 rule. I had to just sit there.
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NOW TO DIET. I WAS PLACED on a clear liquid diet for the time I was in the hospital. That I did with pleasure. Everything hurt. I was full after two sips of broth. I could not stomach the idea of Jell-O© or sugar-free popsicles. Then I had a week of full liquids. I tried every protein shake in their book. (I am now required to eat 62 grams of protein daily. If I do not do this, I could lose my hair and that is not something I am prepared to do.) Then I was allowed to introduce pureed foods into my diet. This was bad. Nothing seems more awful than making a turkey chili for your family and placing yours through a blender and then a strainer before you are allowed to consume it. I hated this so I just ate baby food and stuck to protein shakes. Then I was allowed to eat soft food for two weeks. This was the most hopeless stage of the process. I wanted to eat and I was beginning to feel hungry but I would eat two bites and be full.
NOW I AM FOURTEEN WEEKS POST-SURGERY. I am still trying to understand just how small my portion sizes need to be. I am following the rules better. The Michigan weather is warming up and I am taking daily walks at the local parks. I have explained to my friends that I cannot eat or drink when we hang out the way I used to. I have met an amazing group of women in a weight loss group on Facebook, a gastric sleeve community on Facebook, and an amazing group of encouraging women on Instagram. I am able to drive past a Taco Bell© without tearing up. I have not been weighed in 15 days, but I went from a size 20 to a size 14 and I fit into a well-worn pair of size-12 jeans I have missed terribly for two years.
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The number one rule is stop eating when you feel full. I would try and sneak in another bite, or two, and immediately it would all come back up. When your body says it is full, stop. End of conversation. The other rule that has been beyond difficult is the 5/30 rule. You cannot have liquids five minutes before, or thirty minutes after, your meal. That means there is no taking a drink after a bite of food. No washing down your meal with a cool beverage. All of that ends. Your stomach will expand because of the liquids in it. Your meals need to be for nourishing your body and they need to be the only thing in your stomach. Some other rules are as follows: no alcohol, carbonation, caffeine, or drinking from a straw for six months; walk every day; no asprin, Aleve©, or other medications that are not Tylenol© based for the rest of your life; no more than 2 grams of added sugar per meal; and taking a multi-vitamin, B-12 supplement and calcium supplement for the rest of your life.
My advice to anyone looking to have elective weight loss surgery is this: Do your research! Do not base your decision on the ease with which someone else’s surgery went (like I did my husband’s, who has lost 80 pounds in 11 months) or because you read good things online. Join the groups, talk to more than one person who has had it, talk to your primary care physician, try and get rid of the weight yourself first. This surgery is not for everyone. I am working on becoming accepting of who I am as a sleeved person and what it means for my foreseeable future. It is a ton of work. I am not able to say that given a chance to do it over I would make the same choice but I am ready to work for it and move ahead in my journey.
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I was miserable for weeks with my decision. At my two week check-up, I had lost 10 more pounds. By my six week check- up, I had lost another 10. Please understand that I realize 30 pounds weight loss in eight short weeks is amazing. That being said, I was miserable. I thought that the most important thing was losing 64 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
GASTRIC SLEEVE FAST FACTS:
+ Removes a large portion of the stomach + Average cost, $19,000
+ Less expensive and fewer complications than other types of bariatric surgeries + Long term total weight loss between 64% and 75% (source)
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. -C.S. Lewis
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STRAIGHT FROM
THEIR MOUTHS We all know kids say the funniest things. And embarrassing or not to the parents, we can’t help but giggle. produced by sarah hartley
I was telling a friend I feel like a moose and my daughter said, “Mom, you’re not a moose just a medium size cow.“ - Lorie
My youngest daughter said she knew what “menstruation”meant...it means going steady.....and she was right. - Kay
My son was four and we had just had a pet goldfish die. Two weeks later we went to my great grandma’s funeral. At the front of the church while we paid our last respects, he said, “Mom, is she going to heaven like my goldfish?” I replied, “Yes”, and he said, “Well mom, I don’t think we can flush her.” - Amy
Son: “What’s the matter with my sister?” Me: “She is going through puberty” Son: “Girls don’t go through puberty, they sent them out of the class for that talk.” - Kim
After picking up nuts outside, we got in the car and my six year old said, “Mom, I don’t have anywhere for my nuts.” - Amy
My five year old daughter and I were having a bedtime conversation after we read a book to my 9 months pregnant belly. Me: “Great job reading tonight! I bet your brother loved it!” Her: *shrugs* “I don’t know. Seems like he would be upset that after all this time you still haven’t eaten a pillow, or a stuffed animal or a blanket or NOTHING for him for bedtime!” Me: “I’m pretty sure he’s comfty in there!“ Her: “If you say so...I mean...why do you think he’s always kicking you and making you pee?!” - Nikki
When my daughter was six and my son was four, we went for ice cream one nite. I was standing in line and the kids were standing off to the side. My son came running over to me upset and said “Mom! Sarah said I don’t have tentacles!!” Of course, everyone in line started snickering knowing what she meant so I just cooly said, “Of course you don’t have tentacles, you’re not an octopus”. Then I shot Sarah a “mom” look that said I will kill you later. I always wondered how my little innocent girl had found out about testicles though! - Joy
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said? Tell us on Facebook!
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BEING A MOM A Photo Diary text & images by laura penley
I am a stay at home mom of two beautiful boys, Gabriel (3.5) and Sebastian (16 months). I can honestly say that this is not where I pictured I’d be in my mid-30’s. Happily married, yes, but at home with children, no. I never gave children much thought because I was too busy being focused on a career. A few years into our blissful marriage, the topic came up again and this time I couldn’t brush it off, but part of me didn’t want to brush it off either. After a ton of late night discussions and lots of planning (which I now know was a joke!), we decided to start a family together. And although my pregnancy was planned, I still remember the sheer panic that overcame me as I walked to my first prenatal appointment at 6 weeks into my first pregnancy. I just kept saying “I can’t be pregnant. I can’t be pregnant. I can’t be pregnant.”, body trembling the entire way to the office. I’m not sure what happened in that 30-minute visit, but I walked out of that appointment a different person, a better person, and since being a mother, now twice over, I have found that every day, my children are helping to make me even better than the day before. In the past 4+ years (including my pregnancy) I have grown so much as a person; I’ve experienced highs and lows like never before. It’s not been easy, but it’s been amazing. One thing that I never realized until I had children is just how fast time passes. That realization had me grasping with every ounce of my being to hold onto every single moment, but I couldn’t. The small things, suddenly became so big, so momentous, so I started capturing them with my camera to document our life and our story. Follow Laura on Instagram for more: @lauraslensonlife
Watching my children study, interact with, and learn about and from their surroundings teaches me so much as well. It inspires me to appreciate and learn from my surroundings a little more as well. The look of awe on their faces when they discover something new, or rediscover something in a new way, reminds me to do the same. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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From the minute Gabriel met Sebastian, he has wanted to teach. Even as a newborn, Gabriel was holding letters and numbers up to Sebastian and teaching him what they were. These teaching moments always tug at my heart; their engagement and connection with one another is so strong and it really shines through in their interactions.
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I absolutely adore the wide/long shots, but there’s just something about the up close crops that really add to the story and I can’t get enough of my little guy’s feet dangling as he sits up on the countertop helping to prepare meals with his lovie there to well. 68 assist Holl & as Lane, Issue 1
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Something I don’t find enough time for is quiet reflection. I do however see my oldest taking the necessary time for this quite often. Every single time I catch him in one of these moments, the simplicity and beauty of the moment almost knocks the wind out of me.
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The little details. I love that you can see his hand waving at the characters in his book in the blurred background but I just had to set my focus on those darling little toes, curled up so perfectly as he reads. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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I started using my remote to get into the frame with my kids a couple of months ago and it has been the best thing ever! Not only do I have photos of the precious moments that I share with my little guys, but I’m actually in the moment with them instead of behind the camera. They seem to enjoy me being hands free and cuddling them as much as I enjoy it. That’s my big push to everyone...get in the frame!
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I’ll never have enough photos of my little guys with their lovies. There’s just something so precious about the way they hold onto them so tight. 70 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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It’s so amazing to step back and watch your children interacting with each other. I never could have imagined that I would get so much joy out of hearing the sounds of their laughter as they play together, seeing the way they look at each other and also seeing the smile that only they can bring out in one another. There’s truly a special bond between siblings.
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I swear the sun is magical and my little loves look like angels sitting in it. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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One of the things that I enjoy most as a parent is just seeing the excitement and lust for life that my children have and learning to let go and enjoy the moment freely with them. When their favorite song comes on, we dance like nobody’s watching. When we see a large rock, we climb it and jump off. Lots of jumping in this family; rocks, beds, you name it and gosh, does it feel good.
Some of my favorite photos are when my children are absolutely lost in something and they have no idea that I am watching them. 72 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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I find so much beauty in the small things. Cropped photos that tell a story are some of my absolute favorites. Especially when they are cropped to include a ton of pretty colors.
The little games of chase are the absolute best! Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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One thing I feel very strongly about is the importance of giving your children some freedom to explore and experience things on their own, safely. I’m never too far, but I like to give them room to breathe and learn on their own sometimes.
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Because there’s nothing more precious than a freshly bathed baby, still wrapped in his towel and holding onto his lovie. 74 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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KID’S CRAFT:
DIY PLACEMATS
Looking for some colorful spring decorations for your dining room or kitchen? Make your own placemats! Better yet, have your kids make them! They’re easy to make and super cute! This project has two steps- follow the directions below and you’ll end up with some colorful, homemade placemats to cherish forever! text & images by lauren schroeder
STEP 1: PAINTING
(FOR ADULT AND CHILD TO DO TOGETHER)
Materials needed: • 4- Large pieces of thick paper (larger than 8.5 x 11) • Kid-friendly colorful paints • Paper plates • Scissors • Bubble wrap • Newspaper to protect your table
INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Designate a paper plate for each color. Put a small amount of paint on each plate. 2. Using your scissors, cut the bubble wrap into small squares (approximately 4”x4”). 3. Lay down some newspaper to protect your table from the paint. 4. Now you’re ready to paint with your child! 5. Gently dip a bubble wrap square into one of the paint colors. You don’t need to soak it, just a dab of paint will do. By using too much paint, you won’t get the full affect of the bubble wrap pattern; you’ll end up with blobs of paint. 6. Once you have a sufficient amount of paint on the bubble wrap, dab it onto your large piece of paper. Do this repeatedly until the whole page is covered. You may wish to use a different sheet of bubble wrap for each color 7. If your child gets bored of the bubble wrap, some alternatives include sponges, handprints/fingerpainting, or cotton balls. 8. When finished decorating all four papers for your placemats, set them aside and allow to dry. Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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STEP 2: SEALING/LAMINATING (FOR AN ADULT TO DO)
Materials needed: • Your decorated pages (dry) • Scissors • Clear contact paper.
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INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Cut two pieces of contact paper per placemat. Cut the pieces slightly larger than your decorated page. 2. Carefully peel the clear contact paper away from the backing of one of the cut pieces. 3. Lay it on a flat surface, sticky side up. Place one of your decorated pages on top of the sticky side of the contact paper, trying to leave an even amount of space around each edge. 4. Firmly press the decorated page on to the contact paper, smoothing your hand over the entire area. 5. Carefully peel a second piece of contact paper from its backing and place it sticky side down on top of your decorated page. 6. Using your hands, firmly smooth out any bubbles putting extra pressure on the edges to make sure it is sealed. 7. You can then trim the edges with your scissors so they’re all even. 8. Repeat this entire process for all of your remaining decorative pages and you’re done!
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Motherhood doesn’t look anything like I thought it would. I knew I would love my child, but I didn’t anticipate the way I’d miss him while he was sleeping. I knew I’d be tired, but I didn’t expect to feel like I didn’t have any energy left to give until my son needed something and I was suddenly wide awake. I knew that my life would change, but I didn’t realize that meant everything- my values, my morals, my self worth, my discipline, my marriage. I knew it’d be hard, but I didn’t know that sometimes I would just want to sit down and cry, certain that I was doing everything wrong. I knew it’d be scary, but I didn’t realize just how hard my heart would beat as I waited for doctor’s results.
THE FIRST TIME text & images by sarah hartley
I’m sitting on our cold wood floors laughing hysterically, tears rolling down my face. My son is poking his head around the corner of the sofa, giggling, and then pulling himself right back so I can’t see him. He’s been doing this for five minutes straight, and each time he does it, I laugh as if it’s the first time. It feels like the first time. It feels like the first time I’ve ever laughed like this. Though I know I’ve had moments like this where I’ve been unable to catch my breath from the laughter, I can’t remember them. I can’t remember what it was like to laugh about anything other than what my son is doing right this minute. Everything about having a child feels like you’re experiencing it for the first time all over again. It feels like the first time you’ve fallen in love- that overwhelming, all consuming feeling where you are afraid you’ll just die if you don’t see him again in the next thirty seconds. It feels like the first time my eyes have been opened. I’m walking around the world now noticing things I haven’t noticed in years- the way the snow looks as it falls, the contrast of the trees with the blue sky, the way the grass smells.
The one thing I didn’t know is how satisfying it would be. How looking at this tiny person with his own thoughts and feelings, who is a perfect combination of myself and my husband would fill up my heart- when I didn’t even know that there was a piece missing. I didn’t know how much joy I would get from giving him a bath, from falling asleep with his heart beating against my chest, from the smell of his head. I didn’t know that my days would be made just by hearing him laugh, or seeing him grin from ear to ear. I didn’t realize that this feeling would be so overpowering that I would question every single decision I’ve ever made, or will continue to make. I also didn’t know how proud I would feel on a daily basis of this life that I have created. How with each step he takes, my heart bursts knowing that this person who is a part of me is growing and developing and learning, and that in some small way, I am contributing to that. The days aren’t always easy, and the nights feel as if they’ll never end. But its moments like these, sitting and watching his personality develop that I realize that motherhood is it for me. That this is the best feeling I may ever have. That this is what I was put on this Earth for- to raise this little boy into a man, to teach him to love and be honest and encourage all of his dreams. I was made to be his Mommy.
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family
What You Said What is your favorite thing about being a parent? produced by sarah hartley
I love that my kids love me no matter what - They don’t care how I look, that I can be messy, that I’m not rich, that I’ve failed at things, etc... They just love me unconditionally. I don’t think anyone can love you like your child does. - Vicki Watching the things that you love about your spouse come out in your children. The annoying things about them (and yourself) come out also. - Jennifer Their hugs and kisses are priceless. - Jamie The unconditional love they give. The smile they give you when you walk into the room. And the neverending laughter. - Shana To watch your child learn and grow and turn into a really great adult. Every stage brings such delight and getting to watch them as they go about their adult lives is a pleasure all it’s own. - Joy Watching my child grow, learn and get excited about the smallest thing. His excitement is so infectious you can’t help but join in. - Deanna After a long day of work (and missing my baby terribly) when I first walk in the door and she smiles so big when she sees me. My heart melts. - Margaux
Watching the daily changes as they grow! Time just flies by, cherish each and every moment! - Helen Being able to see how kind and sweet he is becoming. He always shares without being prompted or being around other kids often. It gets me every time. - Lindsay Unconditional love. That they think I’m supermom regardless of what happens. - Jamie My son is just cool. He is fun to be around, kind, smart and I consider it a privilege to not only hang out with him, but to be his Mom. - Nikki When they hug and kiss you and tell you they love you! - Janine How forgiving and loving my children are. - Rob I enjoyed being a mom from the start of my kids’ lives, I enjoyed it more as they were teenagers, I have enjoyed it even more as they are adults. They and I struggled together with husbands/dads death but we had each other to lean on during those times. They are the love of my life. - Debby Bed time! - Arliss
What is your favorite thing about being a parent? Tell us on Twitter - @hollandlanemag
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Dreams, if they're any good, are always a little bit crazy. -Ray Charles
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THE MOST
Instagrammable PITTSBURGH PLACES IN
Pittsburgh is no longer the smoky industrial place it once was. This western Pennsylvania city has undergone a major renaissance in recent decades, transforming into a hip and smart urban area, yet one that is still rooted in tradition (like locals putting fries on top of everything). Because Pittsburghers are notably humble, outsiders might not be aware of all that the Steel City has to offer – from innovation and collaboration to growth and green spaces. Pittsburgh is home to a National Robotics Engineering Institute, a world-class symphony, three professional sports teams, renowned medical institutions and a booming startup scene. The Economist named Pittsburgh “America’s Most Livable City” three of the last seven years. The area’s high quality of life and low cost of living is enticing more and more folks to relocate. Pittsburgh has been increasingly drawing tourists who want to experience for themselves the ‘Burgh’s rich offerings. Here we explore ten areas in Pittsburgh (and trust us, there’s many more) that show the city’s unique history, culture, topography, nature, entertainment, dining, shopping, lodging and more. text & images by adaena tray
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WHAT A VIEW, MT. WASHINGTON!
of the North Side and everything in between. For a small fee, ride the cable-powered Monongahela Incline down the hill to check out the shopping and entertainment area known as Station Square. You’re bound to get a good picture anywhere on “The Mount.”
THE SOUTH SIDE’S ALES AND TRAILS
do during the day too. Most notable is the South Side Riverside Trail, a five-mile trail for cyclists, runners, walkers and outdoor enthusiasts. The well-maintained trail, which runs alongside the Monongahela Rivers, provides plenty of flora and fauna, picnic spaces, a public boat launch and, in some spots, views of downtown.
There is perhaps no greater view of a skyline than that of Pittsburgh as seen from Mt. Washington. Several decks and observatories are located on Grandview Avenue and perched over the hillside, giving gazers sweeping views of the city – from the skyscrapers of downtown to the stadiums
The historic South Side is the place to go if you’re looking for libations. People from all over flock to Carson St., the main commercial drag that is lined with the city’s highest concentration of bars, clubs, pubs and restaurants. Even though the South Side is best known for its nightlife, there is plenty to
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OLD MEETS NEW IN POLISH HILL
close-knit, unpretentious neighborhood with the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church at the heart of it all. Lately there has been an influx of young people moving in. To get a taste of this old-meets-new vibe, check out Gooski’s, a dive bar that offers live music and delicious pierogies (Polish dumplings) on the cheap.
BOUTIQUES ON BUTLER
and gifts; if you’ve got a penchant for design, you’ll love the store’s creative displays (think vintage typewriters and bicycles). Up the street is Wild Card, the go-to place for crafty, quirky, DIY and handmade items, including greeting cards for every occasion.
Polish Hill is exactly what it sounds like – a neighborhood built onto a hillside that is home to a large Polish population. Many of the current residents are descendants of the original settlers who arrived in Pittsburgh to work in the steel mills during the latter half of the 19th century. Polish Hill is a
Lawrenceville, the “hipster neighborhood,” has often been compared to Brooklyn’s Williamsburg. Its thriving business district, Butler Street, is lined with independently owned shops and art galleries. A relative newcomer to the scene is No. 14 Boutique, which sells women’s clothing, accessories
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MEXICAN WAR STREETS: MAKE ART, NOT WAR
and elements of urban gardening. Mexican War Streets is largely influence by the creative class, who have left their mark with such gems as Randyland, a house turned into a whimsical art installation, and City of Asylum, a series of alleyway homes that have been covered in poetry by exiled artists seeking refuge in Pittsburgh.
DOWNTOWN GATHERING PLACES AND QUIRKY SPACES
fice workers and students pour into the square to grab a bite to eat. Monaco Pittsburgh, a Kimpton Hotel recently debuted in downtown’s central business district. This charming boutique hotel provides eye candy at every turn, from gold birdcages to bright green headboards. Amenities include free bicycle rentals and a goldfish you can reserve for your room.
Architecture buffs will want to head to the Mexican War Streets, a historic district in the Central Northside. Stunning turn-of-the-century rowhouses dot the tree-lined streets. In recent years, many subarbanites have flocked to the urban area, buying and restoring Victorian homes to their former glory. At every turn, there are bright hues, gorgeous details
The hub of downtown Pittsburgh is Market Square, a historic gathering space that’s filled with tables and chairs. People watching is at its finest during weekday lunch hours when of-
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GET CAFFEINATED IN THE EAST END
Two dreamy coffee shops have popped up in the same block of Lawrenceville / Bloomfield. At Constellation Coffee, you’ll find natural light beaming in from the expansive windows and onto the neutral interior; it’s a calm environment conducive for working or socializing. The shop features a full
espresso menu, drip coffee and Chemex, along with locally made baked goods. Just down the road sits 4121 Main, a hybrid café, art gallery, and floral and gift shop. Stop in to enjoy a cup of their high end coffee and delight in the exquisitely curated atmosphere.
THE SIGHTS, SOUNDS AND SMELLS OF THE ing Pittsburgh sports gear, food carts serving up ethnic dishes and mom ‘n pop restaurants. The Strip is home to the STRIP DISTRICT If you want to get a taste of Pittsburgh, look no further than the Strip District. Once a train stop for unloading wholesale produce, this half-mile strip is now teeming with open-air markets, street vendors, grocers and specialty shops. Here you’ll find an entire store devoted to spices, merchants sell-
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famous Pennsylvania Macaroni Company, which sells Italian imported foods and the best selection of artisanal cheeses in the region. Visit on a busy Saturday morning to get the full Strip District experience.
travel
ACADEMIA AND ARCHITECTURE IN OAKLAND
ent ethnic groups that emigrated to Allegheny County. Tours are available to the public throughout the year. A block away sits another impressive educational building: the Mellon Institute of Industrial Research. This Carnegie Mellon University structure is known for its enormous monolithic columns. It’s also known for being an awesome photo backdrop, especially when people are placed in the shot to show the scale of the columns.
FINERY AT THE FRICK
um shop or revel in high tea at the Café at the Frick. Admission into several of the onsite attractions, including the Frick Art Museum and Car and Carriage Museum, is free. Visitors can tour Clayton, the restored Gilded Age home of the Frick family, for a small fee.
Oakland, Pittsburgh’s “second downtown,” is home to museums, parks, cultural institutions and several universities. Driving down Forbes Avenue into Oakland, you can’t miss the Cathedral of Learning towering in the distance, an educational, 42-story building belonging to the University of Pittsburgh. The inner hall looks like Hogwarts with its Gothic interior, while the first and third floors feature Nationality Rooms – rooms decorated to represent the culture of differ-
The Frick Art and Historical Center, located in Point Breeze, is the legacy of 19th century industrialist Henry Clay Frick. The grounds of the estate are open to the public. Stroll around the expertly manicured gardens, pop into the muse-
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CREDITS
Cover Photo - Victor Hanacek Photo Page 7- Eli DeFaria Photo Page 8 - Jakub K Photo Page 9 - William Iven Photo Page 12 - Milada Vigerova Photo Page 19 - Irene van der Poel Photo Page 33 - Chris Sardenga Photo Page 42 - Viktor Hanacek Photo Page 44 - Neha Deshmukh Photo Page 52 - Nine Fine Stuff Photo Page 53 - Cairo Gyms Photo Page 54 - Kimberly Richards Photo Page 56 - Milada Vigerova Photo Page 57 - Alex Jones Photo Page 58 - Roberto Tumini Photo Page 60 - Viktor Hanacek Photo Page 62 - Geoffrey Whiteway Photo Page 65 - Gerard Moonen Photo Page 66 - Chance Agrella Photo Page 78- Juan Galafa Photo Page 79 - Allison Wopata Back Cover - Viktor Hanacek
A few special thanks need to be made. Special thanks to Amy Cook and Jennifer Stright for being my go-to ladies when I needed advice, feedback, and reviewers and who let me talk their ears off incessantly. Special thanks to Jess Downey, Mia Sutton, Kimiko Saso, and Aire Plichta for joining the new Holl & Lane team to make future issues even better. Special thanks to my mom, Joy, for always telling me that I could do it, for being my biggest supporter and cheerleader, and for telling me every single aspect is perfect, even when it isn’t. And an extra special thanks to my husband Brandon. Without him, I wouldn’t be the woman or mother that I am and I wouldn’t feel confident to chase these crazy dreams of mine. He is the reason I feel free to fly and dream, because I know he’ll always be waiting to catch me if I fall. 86 Holl & Lane, Issue 1
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