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ENTERTAINMENT, 8 9 Top Ten Movies on New Beginnings 10 Top Ten Songs on Starting New 11 On Our Bookshelf STYLE & BEAUTY, 12 13 Product Spotlight 14 Au Naturale 15 Wardrobe Remix: Blazers 17 Vintage Shop Like a Pro INTERIORS, 20 21 Homeward Bound 27 Mini Makeovers BUSINESS, 30 32 Ten Tips for Better Photos 34 Career Profile: I Made It! Market 36 Inside the Interior: Christine Elliott Designs FOOD & FITNESS, 40 41 How to Stick to Your New Years Resolutions 43 Workout Spotlight: Pole Aerobics 46 New Year, New Baby, New You 52 Stuck in a Food Rut? 53 Traditions: Cinnamon Chocolate Cake 55 Winter Granola 56 Blueberry Banana Smoothie 58 Creamy Vegan Tomato Soup 59 Vegan Cabbage Casserole 60 Chocolate Chunk Beet Cookies DIY, 62 62 Crafty Hideaway 67 Antler Decor 68 Moon Phase Clock 69 Map Pencil & Clip Holder 70 Food Emoji Shopping Bag 71 Infinity Scarf LIFE STORIES, 72 73 Let’s Yomance! 74 Inside the Mind of an Addict 79 Making Strides for Shaun 81 Student Spotlight: Camouflage FAMILY, 83 84 The Gigantic Task of Motherhood 88 Photo Diary: Life of a Mom 93 The Truth About Working Mothers TRAVEL, 98 100 The Most Instagrammable Places In: San Francisco 106 The Simple Life: Living & Exploring in an Airstream
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IN EVERY ISSUE 5 Editor’s Note 6 Team Obsessions 7 H&L Girl 112 Regular Contributors 114 Issue Contributors 115 #mystoryispowerful
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HOMEWARD BOUND
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TEN TIPS FOR BETTER PHOTOS
From a bird’s eye view in her treehouse, to a light white-filled traditional home, and ending with a renovated vintage airstream, Lynne brings beautiful interior inspiration to each of her spaces. Get a glimpse into her unique living style.
With photos being such a big part of our everyday lives, we talked with a professional photographer to get her tips on how we can take better photos from color and texture to editing and learning to have the patience needed for that perfect shot.
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ADDICTION: INSIDE AN ADDICT’S MIND
MOST INSTAGRAMMABLE PLACES: SAN FRANCISCO
Unless you’ve been through it, outsiders often have a tough time understanding what life as an addict feels like. Ruby tells us in her own heartbreaking words what life has been life as a heroin addict and eating disorder sufferer.
The Golden Gate Bridge is synonymous with San Franciso. But what about the other hidden away gems that are a must see? Jenn takes us around the city on a photo tour.
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I S S U E F I V E | J A NUA R Y / F E B R UA R Y 2 01 6 SARAH HARTLEY Creator, Editor In Chief KIMIKO MAINPRIZE Assistant Editor AIRE PLICHTA REESE Fashion Branding Specialist MIA SUTTON Editorial and Social Media Coordinator
JESS DOWNEY Social Media Coordinator MEGAN DECKER Advertising Executive STEPHANIE BARCHETTI Public Relations Specialist
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For advertising inquiries, please email advertising@hollandlanemag.com for our media kit. For press and promotion inquiries, please email stephaniebarchetti.pr@gmail.com For contribution inquiries, please email stories@hollandlanemag.com, or check our website for Contributor Openings.
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“And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.” - Ranier Maria Rilke As the clock strikes midnight on December 31st we celebrate around the world. We celebrate the past year and what it held for us, and we celebrate the upcoming year and the things we have yet to experience. It’s a time of excitement and joy- a thrill knowing that a brand new, fresh start is in front of us. We can make this year anything we want it to be and dream the dreams we’ve had in our minds. As with each new year, we’re able to take stock of our lives to figure out what is working and what isn’t and what we want to focus on. We did that here at Holl & Lane, too. Our motivation has always been to bring you stories to cherish. To bring you the stories that can bond us and help us feel less alone in this great big world. So it is with those goals in mind that we focus our efforts and bring you more of what you have come to love. And starting with that is the Holl & Lane girl. She is a woman that we are introducing at the start of each issue (page 7) that has inspired us. From her passion and her creativity, to her drive and determination, each woman that we select is changing the face of her industry for the better. And that’s something to celebrate. These women had a dream, and they went for it. My dream came true in June 2015 when I hit publish on the very first issue of Holl & Lane. It was a dream that had been just a dream for far too long and now suddenly it’s here in front of me and of you. Each time you click to open the magazine, it renews my vision and reinforces my dream that this is where I should be. Thank you for being along for the ride of my dream. And a happiest of New Year’s to you. Love, Sarah Hartley, Editor in Chief
My Current Obsessions
Everlane shoes, $110: Since becoming a mom my shoe collection has become filled with flats and wedges. My stilettos are sad but my feet are thrilled that I can chase my son. These would be a perfect addition to my collection.
Skin Inc, $65 I've heard really good things about Skin Inc. and I'm dying to try this brightening mask to make me glow during these dull winter months
Anthropologie silverware, $78 I'm convinced if I had cute silverware that I'd be more willing to cook. Worth a shot, right?
Anthropologie coin pouch, $32 This coin pouch is guaranteed to brighten up the inside of my bag and perhaps help keep me more organized! HollAndLaneMag.com | 5
H&L TEAM OBSESSIONS
We admit it, we get obsessed, too. Here’s what’s topping our wish lists this month.
Alice in Wonderland Calendar, Rifle Paper Co., $26 I’m obsessed with anything Rifle Paper Co, but this Alice in Wonderland calendar caught my eye recently. Why not stay organized and have some wall art while you’re at it? Kimiko, Assistant Editor
The Bullet Journal Notebook, The Bullet Journal, $20 I’ve always been a little planner-obsessed, but the official Bullet Journal Notebook has revolutionized how I plan my days and tasks. The best part is, I can customize the planner any way I like. Score! Mia, Editorial & Social Media Coordinator Ecote Short Suede Boot, Urban Outfitters, $79 These ankle booties are perfect for dressing up an outfit in the cooler weather! The black/brown color pairs great with any color. And the chunky heel keeps you comfortable when walking on those snowy sidewalks! Stephanie, PR Executive Threshold Sweater Knit Blanket Target, $26 Right now I’m obsessed with this blanket! I just bought it for our bed because I wanted something different. It’s like a cozy sweater. It looks perfect folded at the foot or spread out when the bed is made. And it’s the perfect blend of warmth and not too heavy. It’s also perfect for naps. I want it in every color. Jess, Advertising & Social Media Coordinator
Apothic Red Wine Apothic Wine, $10+ Apothic Red is a red blend, table wine. It’s delicious with many types of dishes or on its own. You can find it almost anywhere and for under $10! Megan, Advertising Executive
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Dramamine Motion Sickness Relief Dramamine, $6 As someone that has suffered with motion sickness my whole life popping Dramamine before flights or boat rides has been a way of life. Unfortunately so has the drowsiness that comes with it! Enter Dramamine Motion Sickness Relief and my life is officially changed forever. AND the best part is it eliminated most of the chemical nonsense, so it’s better for you too! Aire, Fashion Branding Specialist
The H&L Girl Is: Creative, smart and capable, she is strong and uses her passions to help others. She enjoys being a part of something bigger than herself. She is innovative and professional but knows how to have a good time. The H&L Girl is modern, genuine and brave.
THE HOLL & LANE GIRL RAVEN ROXANNE Growing up in a “life full of color”, Raven Roxanne was encouraged to seek out her creative side from a young age. Her family owns an art gallery on the gulf coast of Florida called The Zoo Gallery and encouraged their children to find the creativity within themselves. Finding inspiration in life and love, Raven paints bold, colorful portraits that celebrate humans and how they connect with things, themselves and each other. Her Girls With Flowers series has become widely recognized for their beauty. Raven currently resides in Charleston, South Carolina and finds plenty of inspiration from her surroundings.
In Her Words: “I think success is when I am making work I am excited about, my work and personal life is in balance, and I am encouraged to learn new things.”
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ENTERTAINMENT
Start wherever you are and start small. -Rita Baily
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TOP TEN MOVIES WITH A FRESH START WORDS BY ERICA MUSYT
GROUNDHOG DAY Ever wish you could relive a day so that you could get it right? That’s what happens to Phil. As he is covering the appearance of the groundhog, Phil gets trapped in a time warp. Phil finds himself reliving the same day over and over again until he gets it right! MY FAIR LADY This classic musical follows the pretentious professor Henry Higgins. He believes he can transform anyone into a perfect member of society. Professor HIggins takes it upon himself to take cockney working-class girl, Eliza Doolittle, and transport her into a cultured member of society. This is a perfect ‘makeover’ movie and Eliza is given a new outlook on life and her prospects. BRIDGET JONES’S DIARY Bridget Jones takes New Year’s Resolutions to a whole new level! At the start of her thirty-second new year, Bridget decides to take control of her life write it all down. Through adventure, food, men aneverything else you can imagine, Bridget is taking the reigns on her new life. SUNSHINE CLEANING Once the popular girl in high school, Rose is now a single mother trying to make ends meet to support her son. Her sister Norah still lives at home with their father and is the ultimate party girl. Rose is trying to find a way to turn her life around and enlists Norah in her new expedition - Crime Scene Clean Up. SILVER LINING PLAYBOOK Pat Solatano has lost his job, his wife, and just got out of a mental institution. He’s back at home with his parents and is looking to rebuild his life. When Pat meets Tiffany things start to get complicated and his new life might not be what he had in mind.
HOPE FLOATS Birdee went on a live television talk show to get a free makeover, only to be humiliated by her best friend, Connie, who’s been sleeping with her husband, Bill. In hopes of starting over, Birdee takes her daughter, Bernice, back to her small hometown in Texas. EAT PRAY LOVE After losing herself in her marriage, that ultimately ends in divorce, Liz Gilbert is confused about what really matters to her in life. In an attempt to find herself again, Liz adventures out of her comfort zone and sets out on a journey to eat in Italy, pray in India, and discover love in Bali. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND In this beautifully visual movie, two people take memory loss to the extreme. Clementine and Joel just went through a painful breakup. Clementine undergoes a procedure to erase all of her memories of Joel from her mind. When Joel finds out what Clementine has done, he decides to make the same choice. Through their loss, the two begin to discover what they had to begin with. 17 AGAIN Once the popular kid in school, Mike O’Donnell feels very unfulfilled in life. His marriage has failed, his kids can’t stand him, and he finds himself in a dead-end job. Mike is given a chance to take a trip to the past to change his life and is transformed into his 17 year old self. What Mike doesn’t realize is by changing his past he could possibly be gambling with his future. THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL
In an attempt to put the past behind them and begin again, some British retirees decide to take their retirement to the exotic India and its lush surroundings and its newly renovated Marigold Hotel. Upon arrival, with a life of leisure in mind, they find the Marigold in its former standing. Through their journey the retirees realize that love and life can begin again, even in the most unexpected places.
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LONDON Tim Stop He paints such a beautiful picture of wanting to see the world in a different way.
NOTHING EVER HAPPENS Rachel Platten Long before “Fight Song,” Rachel was talking about getting out of your own way to find happiness.
THIS Ed Sheeran The opening line is, “This is the start of something beautiful.” Do I need to say more?
CRUZ Christina Aguilera Every time I hear this song, I picture someone starting out on a new adventure.
UNWRITTEN Natasha Bedingfield Forget about fate and write your own story.
THE FIRST DAY Todd Carey This upbeat song is all about taking chances and new steps to get where you want to go. LIVING IN THE AFTERLIFE Eric Hutchinson Say goodbye to the past and embrace the new.
BRAND NEW Ben Rector I think the title says it all, and if you haven’t heard of Ben Rector, you’re missing out.
TOP TEN SONGS ON STARTING NEW There’s something rejuvenating about changing the calendar to a new year. I think that’s why so many people make resolutions, set goals, and start fresh chapters in their life on January 1. Here are some songs which embrace and celebrate that feeling. WORDS BY MICAH CHAPLIN
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MASTERPIECE Andy Grammer Along the same vein as the track above, this song is about being a work-in-progress and always striving for more.
I CAN BE SOMEBODY Erin McCarley Erin took a break from music and is re-emerging with a new sound. This song was her perfect re-launch.
On Our Bookshelf THE NEW
THE CLASSIC
THE NON FICTION
THE CHILDRENS
WORDS BY AMY COOK
The Language of Hoofbeats by Catherine Ryan Hyde The Language of Hoofbeats is the story of a modern family, recently moved to a small town whose residents may not be ready to embrace the changing times. Jackie and Paula are two women who have married and started their own family through adoption and fostering. Star, their most recent addition to the family was a troubled teen who the couple had only known for a few weeks when Paula moved the family to a small town to take over as the veterinarian. Clementine is battling her own demons when the new family moves in across from her. Clem decides immediately that she is not a fan of the family, or the young, teen girl who has taken a liking to her late daughter’s horse. Until one day Star makes a choice that will link the two homes together, no matter how the women feel about each other. Told from the alternating voices of both Clementine and Jackie, The Language of Hoofbeats challenges us to take a look at what it means to be a family and begs the question, how much will a mother risk to ensure the happiness of her children?
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell This is the classic novel of the war that divided our nation, and the love between Rhett and Scarlett which continues to be a favorite almost 80 years after it was written. The story opens with a teenage Scarlett who only knows the world of picnics and plantations, balls and beaus. She is bright-eyed and optimistic, using the rules of fashion and flirting to capture the attention of every man that crosses her path, except the one man she can’t have, Ashley Wilkes. Rhett Butler discovers her hidden adoration for a man that is already betrothed to someone else. After the war breaks out, Scarlett must become head of the house during a time when it wasn’t appropriate to even walk the streets without a chaperone if you were a woman. While the entire world she once knew is falling down around her, Rhett is the constant presence she has come to rely on through all the trials and tribulations. Not mature enough to recognize his love for her, and too blind to the habit of loving Ashley Wilkes to see the man that is better suited for her, Scarlett challenges all of the norms for women of her time in her quest for true love.
Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson This amazing follow-up to her debut memoir, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, is exactly what we have come to expect from the New York Times bestselling author. In Furiously Happy, Lawson tackles the issue of mental disorders, specifically depression, and gives us a raw look at her own battle with the demon that is depression and her method of forcing herself to be Furiously Happy, no matter what comes her way. Always comical, she takes her heartbreakingly real-life adventures with depression and puts a spin on them that is so rib-tickling wonderful it makes you almost want to suffer from depression yourself (almost). Lawson writes for herself, her fans, and her daughter but most importantly she writes for those suffering their own battle with depression and the people that love them so they can see that they are not alone. A must-read for anyone who has, or knows someone suffering from mental illness, and for people who enjoy happiness and non-stop laughter because this is the book that provides it.
Alphabeasties and other Amazing Types by Sharon Werner and Sarah Forss Alphabet books are the best and they come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and age levels. Preschools across the country are teaching students to learn the upper and lowercase letters that make up our alphabet and what better way to do that then to have the letters create the shapes they are discussing. An alligator constructed completely from the letter A? Absolutely! A penguin marching across the page dressed entirely in “P”s? You can find it here! Looking for a unicorn that it unanimously “U”s? Unusual, but true! This book has them all! Illustrations are so important in picture books and children can’t help but get their fill of beautiful pictures from those important letters every time they turn the page.
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STYLE & BEAUTY
Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect. - Alan Cohen
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U CT
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PR O D O SP T
ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS
BROW WIZ WORDS & IMAGES BY IVY O
Cara Delevingne, Lily Collins, Camilla Belle, Emilia Clarke… All of these up-and-coming leading ladies have something in common: big, bold, and beautiful brows. If you’ve been on social media and follow the fashion industry, you’ll have noticed a trend that has caught on and continues to dominate all of your favourite beauty brands’ Instagram feeds: bold brows. Anastasia Beverly Hills is a beauty company that is well-known for its amazing brow products, one of which is the Brow Wiz pencil, an easy-to-use, mechanical pencil (no need for a sharpener, yay!) that
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USE THE SPOOLEY TO COMB YOUR EYEBROW HAIRS UP, AND DRAW A LINE WITH YOUR PENCIL ALONG YOUR LOWER ARCH, CREATING A FRAME FOR YOUR BROWS.
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SIMILARLY, COMB DOWN YOUR EYEBROW HAIRS, NOW, AND DEFINE THE TOP OF YOUR ARCH ALONG THE HAIRLINE.
comes in a variety of colours, sure to make any over-plucked (we have all fallen victim to those tweezers), or sparse brows look fuller, more defined, polished and bold, all while maintaining a natural look. There are nine colours available for the Brow Wiz, and they range from Taupe (ash blonde) all the way to Granite (very dark brown to black hair with ashy tones) in the cutest little pencil that has the product on one end, and a spooley on the other. To get the brows that you’ve seen on your favorite celebrities, follow these steps:
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WHEN YOUR BROWS HAVE BEEN FRAMED AND DEFINED, SLOWLY USE THE PENCIL TO FILL IN ANY GAPS OR THINNER AREAS.
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ONCE FILLED IN, USE THE SPOOLEY TO COMB YOUR EYEBROWS AND BLEND IN THE PRODUCT, MAKING FOR A MORE NATURAL LOOK.
TIP: Go to your local Ulta or Sephora to get your brows shaped if you have not already done so. These brow experts are excellent and will show you how to map out your natural arch, while giving you advice on how to best groom those lovely brows. HollAndLaneMag.com | 13
AU N ATU RA LE
Organic beauty products to help your skin look its best. WORDS BY MEG LOGAN
APPLE CIDER VINEGAR Great for both your skin and hair. It's great as a hair conditioner and rinse, leaving your hair soft and extra shiny. For your skin its a great pH balancer, it helps with acne, impurities, dark spots and leaves your skin EXTRA soft. Dilute with a bit of water and use a cotton pad as a toner, or add it to your bath for these great benefits all over your body. (It can even help get rid of warts!!) FRENCH GREEN CLAY Mixed with equal parts water to clay, french green clay absorbs toxins, oils and impurities. Skin is glowing afterwards and any blemishes are significantly reduced. You can even add a cup to your bath to get these benefits all over your body. COCONUT OIL Your jack of all trades for beauty; a powerful antioxidant, with anti-fungal and antibacterial properties. Use it as a make-up remover- it works wonders and doubles as a moisturizing eye cream! Coconut can also be used as a face wash, moisturizing lotion, hair mask, lip balm and many more. Use virgin coconut oil, which will ensure the antioxidant, anti fungal and antibacterial properties were maintained in the manufacturing process. 100% ROSEHIP OIL Full of antioxidents and vitamins, with healing agents/properties. It is known to reduce acne and eczema, reduces scarring and dark spots, and reduces wrinkles and fine lines! It is a miracle in a jar! Apply a pea size amount onto clean fingers and apply directly to your face. It can also be added to soaps and lotion for full-body care.
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PEPPERMINT OIL Antiviral, antimicrobial, antifungal, and antioxidant properties. Dilute with a bit of coconut oil and you have your own natural lip plumping gloss! Lips stay plump and shiny for 2-3 hours. Keep in a small container and you can re-apply as needed. Also, smelling it helps reduce stress and headaches! DR. BRONNER'S CASTILE SOAP All-natural and sodium-laurel sulfate free, it comes in both liquid and bar form. This soap can be used on your body, hands, face- some people even use it to wash their hair! Dr. Bronner's boasts that it can even be used for house cleaning and laundry! They come in different scents as well as unscented, which is great for those with any sensitivities (or babies). It also means you can add your own essential oils to make whatever scent you like! OTHER ESSENTIAL OILS Added in a bath; added fragrance to soaps, lotions, deodorant; a bit in your hair to boost shine: Lavender- smells amazing, boosts relaxation, is antiseptic and antifungal Tangerine, orange oil- simply smells amazing for added fragrance Tea tree- antibacterial properties, great for acne prone skin CAMOMILE TEA A great hair rinse for blonde hair! Lightens and reduces brassiness with continued use. Steep chamomile tea for 15-30 minutes, let cool and use following your normal shampoo and conditioner. Hibiscus or rose petal tea adds temporary vibrancy to red hair and black tea can be used to add warmth and depth to brown hair.
WardrobeRemix Blazer
WORDS & IMAGES BY MEGAN DECKER HollAndLaneMag.com | 15
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It’s a new year and a great time to rummage through our closets to see what we should donate or say goodbye to and what we should keep hold of. Like a lot of you, on most days I go into my closet and say “I have NOTHING to wear!” What we are clearly overlooking are those great staple pieces that we all have (and more than likely the items we have such a hard time letting go of ). Garments like tailored blazers, denim jackets, cardigans and skinny jeans, are wonderful items that carry us through many seasons and can be timeless when styled in a modern way. More than likely we are spending a bit more on our staple pieces and you will want to get the most out of them. Here are some things to consider... A blazer is always a great go-to piece. It can be the perfect finishing touch for a variety of looks. Use it as a topper for a skirt/ button-up combo and you will create a perfect "rush hour to happy hour" outfit. Slip a pair of heels in your tote for the evening and wear chic flats during the day for more comfort. For an effortless, pulled together weekend look, pair your blazer with your favorite pair of jeans and a blouse or basic tee. If you want to give it a little pazazz, add your favorite piece of statement jewelry. Wear that same blazer over a slim sweater dress and you have a great dressed-up, casual look for work or play. If you choose to wear it to work, play down the vava-voom by wearing a pair of flat, ankle boots with it, but if you're headed out for a night on the town, a pair of stiletos will definietly turn some heads. So before running out to the mall or your favorite local boutique, take a look in your closet to see if you have some of these pieces and how you can bring new life to them. I have a feeling you will be happy with the depth of options in your current wardrobe. And love what you wear!
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mon sense goes for stains. Discolorations like fading and bleach spots are unfixable. Stains that look like blood, rust from wire hangers, or regular old dirt and grime usually come out with a detergent booster.
Don’t read sizes:
Vintage Shop Like A Pro
Here are some helpful hints for shopping vintage like a pro:
Start with dresses:
Thankfully most thrift stores (even your Goodwill’s and Salvation Army’s) are organized by category, making it very easy to spot the dress section. This is where you will have your best luck. Due to the fact that woman really didn’t wear pants all that much before the late 70’s, most of the good vintage lies in the dress section. There were more dresses / skirts back in the day than any other garment. This doesn’t mean you don’t have to dig through racks of bad 1990’s teacher dresses, though. Those never leave. After dresses check out coats, then skirts, blouses, sweaters, and then try braving pants. Also, don’t be afraid to peruse the undergarments. You might find a lovely vintage robe or lace nighty for your upcoming boudoir shoot.
Scary smells + stains:
This can be tricky. Sometimes things absolutely stink at a thrift store but with a little detergent and a day in the breeze they can be fresh as a daisy. Other times you could set the garment on fire and the smell still doesn’t come out. This is where you need to use some common sense. Smells like death? Than let it die. Smells musty like grandma’s attic? Grab it and give it a try. This same com-
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Find a seamstress:
Don’t pass on a print you love just because it’s too big or the sleeves are a tad too short. Most things are fixable when it comes to size. Besides the obvious taking in, a seamstress can add side panels or take out the seams slightly to add a little more room. Also, don’t be afraid to make the look more customized, just by having collars and/or sleeves removed and cheap looking buttons changed you will have a fresh updated, but still charmingly vintage piece. Whether or not you keep the shoulder pads is totally up to you.
WORDS & IMAGES BY SHAUNA MAE DILIBERTO
Ah, the perfect vintage dress. You know the one: the one that gets you constant compliments, makes you feel like the coolest girl in the room, and the best part- no one else has it. Vintage shopping might be the most magical hobby ever but sometimes it can be an overwhelming task, especially when walking into a crowded, musty, and unorganized thrift store.
Modern day sizing is not comparable to vintage size tags. For example, a vintage size 14 would be about a size 8 present day. Therefore, don’t let yourself get hung up on the number. Try things on, you never know how something is going to fit and most times things look better on a person than they do on a hanger.
Caring for your vintage:
Remember these vintage gems are OLD. Be kind and gentle with them. They most likely have been living in overcrowded racks, garbage bags, bargain bins, and now your closet. Try hand washing in detergent made for delicate clothes that won’t weaken the fibers. If the stain in tough; use a detergent booster. Anything made before 1960 should never be machine-washed. These items tend to be more delicate, made of natural fibers, and many times hand sewn. Factory made clothing and polyester is slightly more resilient and can usually handle the delicate cycle on the washing machine. Woven garments can be hung dry, while knit pieces should lay flat to dry to avoid stretching. Check buttons and trim before washing and reinforce if need be. Button thread weakens over time and you don’t want to loose that unique button.
Embrace it:
However you decide to add vintage into your wardrobe, just remember to have fun. Maeflowers vintage believes shopping for clothes and getting dressed is a celebration of you and your love for your body.
5 QUESTIONS WITH
MAEFLOWERS VINTAGE How did you get into vintage? I’ve always liked thrift shopping, even when I was a little girl. My mom used to give me $5 and nothing excited me more than digging through the bargain bin and seeing what “old” thing I could find. I remember I found an actual pair of bell bottoms that fit and I wore them to school for a week. I’m pretty sure people made fun of me but I didn’t care. I thought I looked like I belonged at Woodstock and what could be cooler than that? When did you start Maeflowers Vintage, and why? I started dreaming about owning a vintage clothing store while I was living in NYC and working an amazing job in product development for Martha Stewart at Macys. I loved my job and my life in NYC so much that the dream never seemed real until my husband got a job offer back in our hometown of Syracuse, NY and we decided to move back home and start a new life. At that point I had been collecting vintage for about five years so it seemed like the perfect time to give it a try. What is it about vintage clothing that makes it feel so special? Vintage clothing is so very special because it connects us to the important women that are no longer in our lives. The woman that paved the way for us to be able to be the strong independent woman we are today. I love imagining the kind of woman who wore the dresses I love so much. I dream of the parties that were hosted in the groovy patterned long sleeve maxi dresses of the ‘60’s. Or the family outings in a perfect fur collar coat with matching hat in the ‘50’s, And of course the fringe vests and embroidered dresses that for sure were worn to the festivals of the 70’s. These are the kind of clothes our grandmothers and mothers wore and I love it. How do you choose the clothing for your shop? Are there pieces that always stand out to you? When choosing clothing for Maeflowers I try to find pieces that are easy to wear while still being interesting. The customer never wants to feel like she’s wearing a costume or trying too hard. I choose timeless silhouettes that are flattering for everyone. Tie front blouses, pencil skirts, shift and a-line dresses never go out of style. If the silhouette is classic then the print and color can be bold. I also like to take some calculated risks for my more fashion forward customers; this usually includes caftans, anything with gold sequins, and crazy ponchos. Where is Maeflowers Vintage going in the future? For the last 18 months Maeflowers has been a pop-up and appointment based studio with the dreams of having a full retail location. Well, dreams have come true for this little pop-up. This past November, Maeflowers co-opened a vintage housewares and clothing retail location in downtown Syracuse called Vintage Love. Maeflowers will continue to grow their Etsy store as well.
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INTERIORS
The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams today, in every little way you possibly can. -Mike Dooley
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Homeward Bound Why live in one home when you can have three? Lynne Knowlton lives the dream up in the sky, with a beautiful, rustic treehouse, on solid ground in a beautiful white-filled home, and on the road in a vintage airstream. Each home is thoughtfully decorated and always a work in progress. WORDS & IMAGES BY LYNNE KNOWLTON
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e originally built our treehouse for our four children. A friend of mine had lost her barn from a tornado. We bought the demolished barn from her and used the reclaimed materials to create the treehouse. We have primarily used reclaimed and recycled materials throughout the treehouse. Most things are from friends, family and from my contractors yard (when he wasn’t looking). I stole his porcelain sink. It was so darn pretty. Okay, okay..he knew that I snuck it away.
Originally, the treehouse was meant to be a place to disconnect from a busy life (both online and offline). Years later, we have come to love the treehouse as a getaway retreat for ourselves as well as renting it to others. When we think of treehouses, we think of 22 | Holl & Lane, Issue 5
children, but by owning one, I realized that it is the adults who appreciate the quiet, the solitude, the upscale shabby chic experience of enjoying a treehouse. Even though the treehouse is rustic, we decorate it with white decor, white linens, white candles and have super comfy beds with crisp cotton white sheets and feather duvets. We scent the air with pure essential oils and provide handmade soaps, essential oil lotions and fluffy housecoats for our guests. We rent it as a Treehouse Retreat on TripAdvisor and AirBnB. It typically books solid for the entire summer. As much as we all love having technology at our fingertips, a treehouse reminds us that we need to step away from the constant connectivity. The treehouse will quiet your mind and fill your heart.
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O
ur home has been an ever changing thing. We LOVE it but we didn’t always ADORE it. When we first purchased it over 14 years ago, it needed a ton of work. Back then, my design style was much more colorful and *gasp* country.
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My design style now is much more eclectic with a mix of natural elements, white, white, white and more crisp white. There are many different layers of white, monochromatic and yet light and fun. I can never have enough linens, pillows and blankets. I love a layered white look/feel. There are pops of colour on only a few walls, and for the most part, the house is white. Our minds are busy enough. I prefer to decorate quite simply, without a lot of clutter. Minimalist is my style.
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It’s important to me that my house feels like a home. Nothing is untouchable. Nothing is off limits. It feels good. It smells good. It is a happy place.
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I
had a brilliant idea about 2 years ago to buy an airstream. This summer, that dream came true (and believe me, it is a loooooong search to find the perfect airstream) Never, did I ever think about how much work it would be to renovate a vintage airstream. I had an idea that it may take me a few weeks to restore it. I was clearly hit with the stupid stick. Or optimist stick. Either way, I was hit. A smitten airstream kitten. Four months later, it is kinda sorta complete. Like our home, design is never complete. I love changing things, adding new things, removing things that I don’t love. I only keep things in my home and (airstream) that I truly enjoy. Everything else, goes to a good home. Less is the new more.
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The airstream is a 31 foot 1976 land yacht. It is so fun! Of course, the primary colour is white. How could I resist? The airstream will also be available for rent next summer via TripAdvisor and AirBnB. It is sitting on our property, overlooking the pond and waiting for summer.
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mini
makeovers. PRODUCED BY SARAH HARTLEY
Repurposing furniture is the perfect way to take that ugly Craigstlist item and turn it into a showstopper. Here, three ladies show you how they transformed pieces from boring to beautiful.
KRYSTAL KRISTIANSEN I had been looking for an adorable, unique sideboard piece for the dining room for years. From shops to online sales I kept an open eye, to no avail. One night my Mom and I were searching the Facebook yard sale sites for treasures and there she was, a sweet but rough looking ‘Made in Canada’ dresser for $15. Of course I jumped on it, I messaged the owner at 2am that I would pick it up first thing making sure no one would scoop this little beauty before me! Once I got it home I started looking at it from all angles. It really was perfect. A great size, the drawers all worked well, and I loved the simple modern lines. Then I started drawing it up. Figuring out the best modifications to hold my beloved vintage china, which let’s face it, was the number one reason for the piece! We decided to get rid of the four bottom drawers, and reinforce the base of the dresser. We kept the top two drawers for much needed table linen storage. I painted it three gorgeous Benjamin Moore colours. The body, Newburyport Blue (HC-155), the inside, Chantilly Lace (OC-65) and the drawers, Dark Salmon (2009-30). We didn’t even have to change out the hardware as the knobs that were on it were a simple brushed nickel. Bonus! As soon as we placed it in the dining room and I stood back to look, I felt so much pride in my little upcycle. For keeping another piece of furniture out of the landfill, and seeing all of the potential it had, I turned it into something gorgeous. It fit in with our style perfectly and filling it with all of my cherished heirloom china pieces, favourite cookbooks, and thoughtful wedding gifts was icing on the cake! I can’t wait to take on the next rough piece of furniture that comes my way!
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KANDACE LALANDE Upcycling furniture and DIY projects have been my passion for the last few years. I have always been crafty and had an eye for picking out diamonds in the rough. I shop weekly in local thrift stores, garage sales, auctions and the odd curb side find! I love using chalk paint on old furniture! It gives it a fresh new look without taking away its vintage charm. This love is what brought me to start Uptown Chic and here is one example of how I’ve transformed an antique piece into something beautiful.
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A typical Saturday morning outing lead me to discover this beautiful 1930's era antique dresser! I stumbled upon it at a neighbourhood garage sale and instantly fell in love. Many people passed by it without giving it a second glance, but without hesitation I jumped at the chance and purchased it for $20! The dresser showed many years of wear but I knew exactly how I could revive it. So I loaded it in my car and almost immediately I began working on my new found project! I headed to Home Depot to purchase the supplies to paint the dresser. I picked out two colours from the BEHR marquee line. I chose Eiffel For You for the body of the dresser and Graphic Charcoal for the top. Before lifting a paint brush I needed to prepare the dresser for its makeover! I started by cleaning and sanding, before mixing my DIY chalk paint recipe. I have used some of the popular chalk paint brands but I have found a good DIY recipe that is comparable in quality and at a fraction of the cost! To each colour of paint I added a mixture of water and plaster of paris to give it a chalk paint finish. Once dry, I lightly went over the edges with sand paper to give it a distressed look and finished it with coat of finishing wax.
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This is just one of my many “labourof-love” chalk paint furniture pieces that have found their place in my home or in the homes of happy customers.
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GENEYA TERLOUW & KAREN BAJZA We found this piece thanks to a very close friend. Her grandfather had passed away and they were cleaning out his home. She had a few dressers that no one in her family could take and thought we might be interested. This piece was pretty beat up but we knew instantly that we wanted it because of the beautiful wood grain and keyholes. First we cleaned and sanded the entire piece, made minor repairs and filled the existing knob holes with wood filler. Next, we stained the top and drawers with two coats of Minwax stain in Jacobean, and we painted the body with two coats of American Paint Company Born on the 4th. In between the coats of paint, we lightly sanded with a 220 grit sandpaper to make sure the finish was completely smooth.
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We applied three coats of a semi-gloss water-based polyurethane to the top and faces of the drawers, and to seal the paint, we applied two coats of American Paint Company Top Coat and finished with a coat of black wax. The wax helped bring out the cool tones in the paint and gave the piece a more matte finish. Next, we drilled new holes for the knobs, which we found in a junk drawer and spray painted gold. The gold complemented the dark blue color and helped draw attention to the keyholes. Finally, we let the piece sit for about three weeks to allow the wax to fully cure.
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BUSINESS
Don’t worry about being worried. You’re heading out on an adventure and you can always change your mind along the way and try something else. -Tracy Kidder 30 | Holl & Lane, Issue 5
Ten Tips For
BET TE R PHOTOS WO R D S & I M AG ES B Y N I C O LE B E DA R D
KNOW YOUR BACKGROUND: Always make a point to know what is in the background when taking photos. If you are shooting a portrait or photo of someone, it is often helpful to avoid clutter, random people or objects in the background as this can negatively impact the outcome of your photo. For example, when taking a picture outside with trees or bushes in the background, try to move your subjects or change your angle so branches/trees don’t appear to be protruding out of their heads. These miscellaneous items are distracting when viewing the image and most of the time do not add value. HAVE PATIENCE: When you are shooting in a public place, always remember that other people have a right to be where you are and you often need to exercise patience to get your winning shot. If you and your subject can stay in the desired position, the backdrop you are trying to capture will eventually clear so you can get that perfect shot. The image shown to the right demonstrates this tip. Right before I took this image the gazebo behind her was full of people walking around. I had a brief window of about five seconds to get the shot.
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EXPLORE COLOR: Adding in a colorful piece of clothing, an interesting wall color, or even a graphic carpet to an image can really take the image from good to great. This falls in line with knowing your background. Don’t be afraid to experiment with pops of color in your images. The image shown of a little boy holding his mom’s hand was taken at a local museum, which will typically have great light and walls for photography. TEXTURE: Just like color, using different textures can add dimension to an image. Texture can come from everyday items like blankets or architecturally interesting walls. For example: the newborn image shown has the baby lying on a pink textured blanket. It’s just another fun layer added to the image.
Texture + Fill The Screen
PRACTICE: While camera technology has come a long way over the past few years, having the latest photography gear will not make you a better photographer. In order to improve your photography you need to constantly be shooting and developing your skills and proficiency. When you are shooting and find that you locked in on a great composition don’t just take one shot, take 5 more shots of the same image. Once you start editing many times you will find that the first image is not always the keeper. DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE: Don’t get yourself stuck shooting from the same angle for every shot. You can dramatically improve your images by moving around your subject. Some of my favorite unique perspectives are shooting overhead and in a low squat position. In the example provided (left) I used a fish-eye lens and positioned myself to frame the toddler bouncing off the slide in the bounce house.
Different Perspective
FILL THE SCREEN: When you fill the screen with your subject you capture unique details. For example, cute freckles on a child’s nose, eyelashes of a newborn or bright blue eyes of a toddler. It’s also important to note that it’s ok to crop portions of the subject out of the frame in order to capture the focused detail. The example provided highlights the newborn’s cute baby rolls. LIGHT: This tip may be an obvious one, but light can influence your images in a positive or negative way. Mastering light control and understanding how it impacts your images comes with practice. Try shooting during the “golden hour” (light found at sunrise and sunset) and then mid-day sun and you will start understanding the impact. I use the Magic Hour app to calculate when “golden hour” will take place wherever I’m traveling.
Rule of Thirds
RULE OF THIRDS: This photography guideline goes back to 1797 and it’s meant to give images an increased sense of tension and energy. It’s this effect that significantly improves your photos and guards against having your subject dead center, and ultimately flat. Modern cameras and iPhones actually have this “rule of thirds” grid built-in. As you can see in my example, the family is on the left side of the image, which makes the image more interesting verses dead center.
EDITING: When using a software product like Lightroom, learn the basics to enhance your photos. Many times just cropping and adding some “contrast”, lowering the “highlights” and increasing the “shadows” can really make the difference.
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CONTRIBUTE Everyone has a story to tell. Let us share yours. Become a contributor.
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CAREER PROFILE
Carrie Nardini I Made It! Market
Tell us about I Made It! Market. What exactly is it and how did you get started? I Made It! Market is Pittsburgh's nomadic indie crafts marketplace. I create opportunities for artists to sell the wares that they make. These pop up art markets take place all year long throughout the Pittsburgh region.
ting. My writing/marketing background and interest in community-based arts events led me to create I Made It! Market. I grew up in a household where my father was the third generation of a family business. I'd always known that eventually I wanted to grow a business of my own. I could never have imagined that I would get to combine these two great interests into one new business.
As a crafter myself, I was looking for more opportunities to sell the work that I made and knew that there were many others like me looking for both venues and a community to connect with. I met an incredible young woman, Nina Barbuto, at a craft fair I attended in 2007 and we got to talking about it and decided to try our hand at a pop up event. Nine years later, I am still at it creating pop up marketplaces throughout Pittsburgh along with consulting others in Rust Belt cities on starting their own marketplaces and communities.
My writing background and experience with collaborative group projects in graduate school taught me how to think from a strategic point of view when tackling challenges and projects.
In 2014 I created the Neighborhood Flea. This event is a combination of hidden treasures, rehabilitated and updated housewares, sentimental finds, handmade wares, mobile food, art and fashion. The Flea has a little bit of fun peeking out of every seller's spot.
What is one of the most rewarding aspects of your work? The most challenging? The most rewarding aspect of my work is the connections I've made and the community that has grown around I Made It! Market. This work has introduced me to hundreds of people I may otherwise never have met. I have a whole lot of gratitude for being able to work with the people I do each and every day.
We describe The Neighborhood Flea as a celebration of the craft and time of vendors who make and curate fine collections. In bringing together top-quality vendors and discerning customers in an urban setting, a new neighborhood magically emerges. You have a degree in English Writing and a Masters in Business Administration. Did that help you launch I Made It! Market? I never thought of myself as overly creative but I had a creative energy that I wanted to experiment with in a small business set34 | Holl & Lane, Issue 5
I also took the challenge of starting a business with no investment as one that constantly drove me and motivated me to make something from nothing. Nine years and hundreds of emails and flyers and press releases later, the event and community are still going strong.
There are many challenges to owning your own business, especially a business that breaks the mold a bit. I'm slowly growing my team and after many years alone realize that it is what I have been missing. >>
Working for yourself you succeed or fail to the degree that you allow yourself to celebrate your wins or mourn your losses. Mindset is huge for entrepreneurs and that is a challenge that never goes away. From a logistical standpoint, I always say that each event has it's own individual challenge. I learn as I experience every one of those challenges and again am thankful for them. What are your top three tips for work/life balance? This one is hard for me. I do find that work/life balance is something I'm always working on. As a wife and the mother of a preschooler, I try to take chunks of time to be with my family and to make those times meaningful. So I'd say open up time by: 1. Scheduling or automating as much reoccurring work as you can in advance. By taking the burden of a regular task off your plate, you open up room in your mind for more thoughtful work and free time. 2. Expanding your team including help at home if you need that to find time for you. 3. Getting outside as much as possible. It is so easy to get caught up in the work but how much more efficient will you be if you've gained perspective by spending some time in the sunshine or on a walk in the woods! Little chunks of space make all the difference. What is a typical "day-in-the-office" like? 8:00 am wake-up. I'm not an early riser as much as I wish I was. 9:00 am pack lunch and take my son to school 9:30 am work out or walk outside 10:30 am breakfast / coffee!!!! and email and then I work on a variety of items including long-term projects, client work, event site needs, proposals, writing and marketing tasks. This is when I meet with my team members and a few days a week have out of the office meetings. Every day is different. 4:00 pm - 8 pm: dinner/ errands/ family time 8:30 pm - midnight clean up any work items for the day or catch up on industry news or articles.
Where do you see the future of I Made It! Market? I would love to see I Made It! Market expand. My goal with the business has always been to create opportunities for artists to grow their businesses through new opportunities and skill building. I believe the opportunity exists to serve even more artists over a larger geographical area. What is the coolest idea you have come across at the Market so far? That is a great question but not one that I can easily nail down. Each market has a variety of genres, it has food, music, collaborations among artists. If you were to ask me what do I gravitate toward at each market. I would have to say ceramic mugs. I have a problem with bringing home too many hand thrown mugs. I love all things coffee and I can't help myself. I must have them all! My husband just shakes his head when he reaches into the cabinet for a coffee mug and finds a new one. When you are not busy helping out awesome crafty businesses, what do you do for fun? I love spending time exploring new places with my husband and son. We go on mini adventures in our own city and venture out to nearby sites of interest. I also enjoy heated power vinyasa yoga and then brunch with the girls whenever I can. ✴
I never really have a day off but I also make my own hours so each day gets to be what I make of it!
PRODUCED BY KIMIKO SASO HollAndLaneMag.com | 35
Inside The Interior With
Chr istine Elliott Designs
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PRODUCED BY KIMIKO MAINPRIZE // IMAGES BY CHRISTINE ELLIOTT DESIGNS
hooked on Pinterest. Now I find a lot of my inspiration comes from Instagram. I have found so many cool and new sources through accounts I follow. I also enjoy seeing what inspires other people. I don’t have a particular era that I gravitate toward, but I do love working on homes that have beautiful architectural details, and if they don’t, I try to add them where I can! I love and am inspired by the designs of Lauren Leiss, Kelly Wearstler, and follow Canadian Sarah Richardson. My living room is a work in progress, but I love how much natural light it gets throughout the day, especially in the mornings. I often will eat breakfast in there while I’m catching up on my newsfeeds. What has been one of your greatest business challenge to date? I am really shy. So putting myself out there whether I was meeting potential clients or networking was real a challenge at the beginning. Thankfully I am much better at it now, but I still get anxiety now and then, especially at large industry events. What has been one of the most rewarding experiences as a business owner? Meeting people that follow me on my social media channels, especially when I can put a face to a name to those who comment or “like” my posts. I am so grateful for the support of my followers. >>
Tell us about Christine Elliott Designs. Christine Elliott Designs is located in historic town of Bowmanville located on the North shores of Lake Ontario. I offer interior designs services and specialize in full home design, fabulous places to gather and whimsical children spaces. How long have you run your own company and how did you get started? I have always been a visual person. I went to university for photography, and then when back to school after graduating for graphic design. In 2011 I opened my Etsy shop where I sold custom design pillows for children. I also was studying interior decorating part time and juggling a Photo Research and Copyright Clearance business when a friend asked me to help decorate her apartment. That project lead to paying jobs designing a lake front condo and town house in the city (Toronto). Once I finished the interior decorating program, I gave up the researching gig, closed my Etsy shop and have been concentrating on designing beautiful spaces ever since. Where do you find the most inspiration for your designs? Are there any styles or design eras that you gravitate towards? What is your favorite room in your own home? I used to spend hours going through design magazines, before I got
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If you could go back and give yourself advice when you were first starting your business, what would it be? Pick just one thing and do it well. I juggled a lot of different hats at the beginning because I believed that’s what I needed to do to be financially secure. But the more I took on the more I felt stuck, like I wasn’t going anywhere. Since closing my Etsy shop and concentrating only on my design services, my business has really taken off. How have you continued to drive your business forward? Any recipe for success? Be genuine. A lot of my business comes from referrals, so I take the time to get to know the family I'm designing for and what they need from my designs to make their everyday living a little easier. I have actually become friends with many of my clients, which some might view as a big no, no, but it’s through those friendships and trust that my business has grown.
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What do you do to blow off steam and relax? I’m all about going to our family cottage or antiquing with my girlfriends. In the winter I tend to hibernate more and watch a lot of movies.
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Where do you see Christine Elliott Designs in the future? I want to have a line of children textiles for the home, like bedding and wallpaper. This year I’ve been experimenting with pattern designs and testing out different medias. Next year I would like to put out an e-book on how to design children spaces and take on a few projects in cottage country.
What tips do you have for budding entrepreneurs who want to work in home design? It’s been said that the design business is 20% creative and 80% business, and it’s true! So make sure you get a good bookkeeping system in place so you can spend more time on the creative! ✴
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FOOD & FITNESS
Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. -Ralph Blum
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How to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution WORDS BY KELLY AGNEW // IMAGES BY NICOLE BEDARD
If I asked women to describe their New Year’s Resolution, I can be pretty sure that an overwhelming majority would say “to get healthy”. While I applaud their intentions, I cannot help but think about how many resolutions fall apart by mid-January. How many gym memberships are purchased and never used? How many well-intentioned changes are never implemented? There’s a fundamental problem with a generic resolution of “getting healthy”. It’s too broad. How do you achieve it? What is “healthy”? Is it eating fewer donuts, or is it creating a gym routine? When you resolve to “get healthy”, it’s not a SMART goal: It’s not specific, measurable, achievable, realistic or timely. If you don’t properly define your goal, you won’t get there. I can guarantee it. You’re better off setting up smaller, attainable goals; goals that will push you to be your healthier self through more specific and actionable means. View them as baby-steps to getting you towards that overarching achievement of “healthy”. You will be more likely to attain these goals because they feel achievable. They’re possible. They’re not overbearing and are much easier to measure. HollAndLaneMag.com | 41
Here are some examples of “SMART” and healthy New Year’s Resolutions: “I will visit the gym at least once a week in January, at least twice a week in February, and at least three times a week for the rest of the year.” People often consider the gym a key ingredient in getting healthy. In this example, you’ve given yourself the ability to work up to a healthy gym routine. Habits are hard to form, so don’t discourage yourself if you find January and February pretty tough. Make your goals realistic and timely. “I will only treat myself to a Starbucks latte once per week.” Ohhh Starbucks, our frenemy. If you love your vanilla lattes, it’s probably doing some damage on your wallet and your health. Cutting back is a small step towards a healthy life, while allowing yourself to indulge on occasion. This goal is measurable, but it’s also moving you towards that overarching goal of health. “Our family will enjoy home-cooked meals 4x per week.” Depending on your situation, this might be very doable, or completely impossible. The most important thing here is that you try to avoid meals that come from a box. Eliminating preservatives and junk from prepared foods will do wonders for your health. This goal is measurable, specific and can be realistic if you tailor it to your life. Be honest with what you can achieve, and remember that every little step is a step closer. “I will make myself breakfast at least 4 mornings each week.” Most people don’t eat their breakfast, but they don’t realize how much better their brain functions if they do! There are some simple breakfast recipes out there, like overnight oats, smoothies and chia pudding, which don’t take much time in the morning. The key to this goal is being specific: you make your own breakfast. No McMuffins and no Starbucks breakfast sandwiches. But don’t forget to make this goal achievable. “I will fill half of my plate with vegetables for 5 dinners each week.” This is more specific than “I will eat more vegetables”. It’s easier to measure because you have given yourself a target. This goal may not be realistic for every dinner of the week, but this is where you can customize it to your life. It’s a great step to prioritize your health. Your New Year’s Resolution should be SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-specific). Ultimately, you shouldn’t be holding yourself to a standard you know you can’t achieve - this will only discourage you, and you will be more likely to give up on your resolution by February. Instead, create good habits. Why not try to make your goals attainable? Make them work for you. It is possible to stick to your New Year’s resolutions if you do it right.
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dition and Sculpt, Shut Up and Dance! (a flow and freestyle class), Vertical Barre (a ballet inspired conditioning and pole choreography class) and Sexy Songs in Stilettos (a sensual choreography class where we learn to dance in high heels). Along with our regular class schedule, we offer party packages for people celebrating bachelorettes, birthdays, girls’ night out or any other special occasion. We also offer periodic workshops in everything from burlesque style striptease to twerking. All of our workshops can be booked for private groups as well. Last but not least we offer private and semi private lessons as well as one-on-one training and choreography prep for students who wish to compete or perform in showcases. How did you get into alternative fitness classes? In early 2009, I was working full time in a corporate setting, having gone back to work more than a year before that when my daughter was just 6 months old. At that time, I was more than 60 lbs heavier than I am today. My youngest child was just turning three years old and I realized I couldn't really keep calling the extra weight I was carrying "baby weight" anymore. Although I loved being a busy wife and mom and a full time manager in the corporate world, I felt I had lost something of myself. I didn't feel comfortable or confident in my own skin anymore. With all the changes motherhood had brought about in my body, I had become disconnected from my vibrant and sensual side, which seemed at odds with my respectable businesswoman and mom roles.
Workout Spotlight:
Pole Aerobics PRODUCED BY KIMIKO MAINPRIZE // IMAGES BY HEATHER POULIN
Tell us about your studio: What kinds of classes do you offer? At Brass Butterflies we offer two main types of classes. Pole dancing is the core of our program. We offer pole dancing classes in a progressive curriculum. Each level of our curriculum is covered in 4 weeks, one hour-long class per week. We have a simple checklist system for moving up through the levels. Students learn the required moves for each level, and progress to the next level when they are proficient. Pole dancing curriculum classes consist of a warm-up and conditioning exercises followed by instruction on the poles. Each week, students learn new spins, strength moves, tricks, inversions or dance moves. We almost always end our classes by “Dancing it out” with an instructor-led routine or free-styling to music in the higher levels. We also offer non-curriculum fitness classes. Our non-curriculum selection of classes has been developed to supplement and compliment our core pole dancing program. These classes aid students in developing flexibility, conditioning, musicality and different styles of dance. They include Chair Fit Cabaret, Fit and Flexy, Pole Con-
I knew I also needed to get active so I could be fit and healthy in order to enjoy my time with my family more. I just didn’t feel motivated by traditional fitness regimens. I was quickly bored by walking on a treadmill or executing repetitive, solitary exercises. I realized I am very much a social exerciser and needed the accountability that a community of likeminded individuals could bring me. I actually started my fitness journey by joining the recreational badminton team at our local Rec Centre! That got me out of the house and moving and also gave me some “me time” and grown-up social time. I started to feel a bit more confident and fit. Around this time, my good friend, Jane, who owns PoleFit Nation (at the time Aradia Fitness Oakville), asked me to come out to an event she was having at her studio. She had been asking me to come out and try pole dancing classes for a while but I never felt ready or that it was “for me”. I went to the event to support her and her budding business because that’s what friends do. I never really thought I’d find anything for myself there. After watching performances by students and instructors though, I was moved by the grace and strength they demonstrated. I took recreational dance classes all through my childhood and youth and realized I really missed it; the movement and expression to music. After chatting with one of the instructors who had performed, she made me feel so at ease and planted the seed in my mind that "maybe I could do this". She was very down to earth and exuded a quiet confidence that I was drawn to. She told me that pole dancing had helped her find that confidence and comfort with herself and her body. I signed up for Level 1 soon after and I've never looked back. >>
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I was having fun, getting fit and strong, and the pounds just started to melt off. I felt confident and sexy again, not just from the changes in my body, which amazed me every day, but also from the positive changes I was absorbing into my attitude from being around such positive and supportive people. It also introduced me to an amazing, supportive and inclusive community of women of all different backgrounds, fitness levels, shapes, sizes and ages who all shared the love of this amazing art. What was the process to becoming an instructor like? In 2010 I became an instructor, which, frankly, still blows my mind. If you had told me just two years before that that I would become a fitness instructor, I would have fallen on the floor, rolling around and laughing...and that probably would have been the most exercise I got that week. At the time, the process of becoming an instructor with Aradia Fitness (a franchise) involved class observation and shadowing followed by intensive training with the corporate trainer and the studio owner. My Level 1 training alone was about 14 hours of training with 10 or more hours of observation and participation in Level 1 classes including assisting and co-teaching. I then taught a mock class for the corporate trainer to evaluate before teaching classes on my own. This process was spread out over many months and at the time there were no pole dancing classes available on the schedule for me to teach as yet so I went out on my own and started taking certification courses with Yoga Fit Canada so I could help develop Jane’s “Beyond the Pole” program of drop-in fitness classes. I taught a basic yoga and flexibility class as well as developing a chair dancing class at her studio. What has been your biggest challenge as a business owner? In 2012, I had a lot going on in my professional and personal life. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and was having a terrible time adapting at school. My husband and I were both beginning to feel very “burnt out” and had started to have tentative discussions about moving away from the GTA and making some drastic changes to our hectic lifestyle. At this time the opportunity presented itself to purchase an already established pole dancing studio in Kitchener. We hoped it would give us a somewhat slower pace of life. We purchased Aradia Fitness Kitchener and took over operation of the studio in December 2012. I put in long hours commuting and doing administrative work at home after the kids were in bed. In the spring of 2013 things came to a head with my son’s struggles in the public school system and we made the decision to pull him out of school and put him in a private school for children on the Autism Spectrum. At the same time we decided to sell our house in Oakville, downsize and move closer to Kitchener and my studio. We were very fortunate that my husbands’ job was flexible enough to accommodate this. I quit my corporate job and transitioned to being a full time mom and entrepreneur. >>
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The last three years have definitely been a roller coaster; full of emotional highs and lows. I work far more hours on my business than I ever did at my corporate job, but the difference is that I can craft those hours around the needs of my family. I also feel that all my time, blood, sweat and tears are going into something much more tangibly mine. With every bit of measurable growth, I can look at my business and say “I did that”. With lots of help along the way, of course! After just one year in our original location, we outgrew our studio and moved up the street to a larger location. That was definitely a learning experience. I had purchased a turn-key studio and not gone through the process of designing and equipping a physical studio space from scratch before. The move turned out to be one of the best things we could have done for the studio but there are definitely things I’ll know to do differently next time. And next time will be coming very soon; sometime in 2016 as we move into yet another new facility. All the changes we’ve gone through in these short three years have been challenging, exciting and exhilarating. Our decision to branch away from our franchise roots and launch our independent branding this year was just the most recent step on our crazy and wonderful journey.
frustrated in my own journey as a small business owner, I think about all the women whose lives my studio has touched and will touch in the future, and it fuels me to keep on. What are three tips do you have for our readers for staying healthy and fit? Make time for yourself as a priority. If you find yourself saying “I’m too busy looking after everyone else to take an exercise class, go to book club, prepare a healthy meal for myself, go to bed at a decent hour…” then you have to realize that eventually you will burn out and your body and mind will break down and then how will you look after all those people who are counting on you? Just like on the airplane when they tell passengers to put the oxygen mask on themselves first before assisting another passenger, you have to make your own wellbeing a priority before you can help others. I know this is easier said than done in our hectic, overcommitted society, but one of the best ways to start on this habit is to learn to say “No”.
Whenever I am frustrated in my own journey as a small business owner, I think about all the women whose lives my studio has touched and will touch in the future, and it fuels me to keep on.
What can people expect from one of your classes? You can expect a super fun and often irreverent, total body workout. Our classes are full of warmth and laughter and we never take ourselves too seriously. We love to encourage and challenge our students. It is not at all unusual to get a round of cheers and high fives when a student masters a move they’ve been struggling and working to achieve for months. The results that our students see in their bodies and their attitudes are real and amazing. What has been your favorite memory with being a Pole Dancing instructor and studio owner so far? There are so many! Teaching my first class, being handed the keys to my very own studio…twice!, watching one of my students compete in the Ontario Pole Fitness Championships for the first time, my first performance in an outside showcase with my “Space Vixens” troupe performing our “Glitter Boots” routine earlier this year… but the moments and memories that truly drive me and motivate me to keep going, even in the overwhelming and stressful times, are the ones where I see that I’m making a difference in my students’ lives. I love seeing the smile on the face of a new student as she excitedly asks when she can take her next class, when just an hour before she looked like she was considering turning around and running away as she walked through our front door. There have been the beautiful testimonials from students who have shared with me how my studio has changed their lives in positive ways; from giving them confidence and helping them to love their bodies again to helping them overcome depression and anxiety. Whenever I am
Keep moving. Whether it’s taking a fitness class or taking the stairs instead of the elevator or setting an alarm to remind you to stand up and move around at least once per hour if you sit at a desk all day, being active doesn’t have to mean running a marathon every day. Your body was made to move – it craves movement. Work some sort of activity into your day, every day. Plan your meals and shop to your plan. I have to admit, I’m not good at this and it is something I constantly struggle with. As an entrepreneur, with a consultant husband whose work schedule is almost as variable as my own, and two busy school-aged children, our routine and schedule is always changing. Taking time one day each week to look at the week ahead, figure out which meals and snacks will be eaten at home and which on the go, then creating a meal plan and shopping according to that plan will help you to eat healthier, spend less money and waste less food. Writing down what you eat is also an excellent way to keep yourself accountable and control portion size and overall calorie intake. It will help you to visualize and understand where you are lacking in the balance of your diet and where you are taking in too much. What advice would you give for someone who is nervous to try one of your classes? Don’t be! At Brass Butterflies we’ve created a wonderful, warm and welcoming community of like-minded women. We aim to provide a non-competitive and non-judgmental environment in our classes. If you’re worried that you’re not strong enough or fit enough…that’s WHY you come to Brass Butterflies! We will start slow, teaching you the basics and building on that foundation as you build up strength and confidence. Everybody is on their own journey here and you move at your own pace with the support of our amazing instructors and your fellow students every step of the way. ✴
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New Year, New Baby, New You! Working out is hard work, simply put. However, when well executed, performed regularly and combined with proper nutrition it can change your life: your physique, outlook and your ability to handle everyday stress. Any time you begin a workout regime it is challenging, but after having a baby it can feel especially daunting: You're exhausted. Your body feels different. Your body looks different. Your body has different nutritional needs. So whether you are returning to the world of fitness after having a baby or you are just ready to begin working out, these at-home exercises can get you on your way. Strap on your most supportive sports bra, slip on some work out clothes that make you feel attractive and pump up the tunes that motivate you. Oh yeah, and grab baby if you've got one.
WORDS BY EDEN COIRO // IMAGES BY NICOLE BEDARD 46 | Holl & Lane, Issue 5
PUSH-UPS WITH BABY KISSES Movement 1. Position legs parallel, approximately hip width apart. 2. Place hands under shoulders with fingers facing forward. 3. Flex elbows, angling elbows diagonally back to lower torso toward floor. 4. Maintain tight abdominals. 5. KISS THAT BABY! 6. Extend elbows to full push-up position. 7. Perform 8x.
Modifications (1) Knees down. Do not cross ankles. Feet can be on or off the floor depending on comfort. (2) Perform push up against a wall. (No baby included).
Challenge (1) Hover one leg off the floor in an arabesque. Perform one push up. Switch legs. Lower. (2) Stagger hands. One hand slightly forward and one hand slightly back (instead of directly under shoulders). Goal Increase strength of chest muscles.
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CLICK HERE TO GET THE FULL ISSUE CRUNCHES
CRUNCHES
PELVIC TILTS
Movement 1. Place feet hip width on the floor. Lie on back. 2. Place baby on your pelvis with one or both hands wrapped securely around his waist. If he is capable of stable sitting, use one of your hands to support your head and neck. 3. Take a deep breath in before beginning and as you crunch up to see baby deeply breathe out helping to engage your abdominals even further. 4. Return to starting position with a deep inhale. 5. Perform 20x.
Movement 1. Lie with your back on mat with baby positioned on your hips facing you. Hold baby with both hands. 2. Place feet approximately hip width apart with feet directly under knees. 3. Keeping back aligned straight, stabilize pelvis and spine in one straight line. 4. Extend hips to lift pelvis off the mat, creating bridge position from shoulders to knees. Squeeze glutes. 5. Flex hips to return body to floor. Perform 8x.
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Modifications (1) Take baby out of the mix. (2) Decrease the number of repetitions.
Challenge (1) Start with legs in table top position. Baby resting on your shins. Holding him with both hands. Tuck chin, exhale as you slowly roll up to kiss baby. (2) Perform full exercise without fully returning to the floor between each repetition. Goal Increase strength of abdominals. Strengthen pelvic floor. 48 | Holl & Lane, Issue 5
Modifications (1) Take baby out of the mix. (2) Take movement only halfway up and then return to floor. Challenge (1) Extend one leg, keeping knees tight together and baby balanced on hips. Perform exercise using just one foot planted on the floor. (2) Perform full exercise with one or both heels lifted 8x. Goal Increase strength of legs: quadriceps, hamstrings, calves and glutes. Decrease pelvic rotation.
PLANKS
PLIÉ SQUATS
Movement 1. Facing floor in a prone position, place legs approximately shoulder width apart. 2. Place elbows down on floor directly under shoulders. 3. Engage your abdominals by drawing your naval in and exhaling as you bring your body off the floor. 4. Keep shoulders back and down. Open through chest. 5. Keeping back aligned straight, maintaining a straight line from the top of your head to your heels. 6. Hold for 30 seconds making sure to breathe while you are in position. Perform 8x.
Movement 1. Stand with legs wider than shoulder width apart, feet externally rotated. 2. Pull shoulders back, draw in abdominals, hold baby with one hand under his bottom and one wrapped around his waist keeping him held against you. 3. Keeping back aligned straight, one vertebrate stacked atop a other, bend at the knees making sure not to put strain on your knees by letting them pass over your toes. 4. Return to a standing position drawing up on your quads, your pelvic floor (performing a kegal) and engaging your glutes. Perform 8x.
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Modifications (1) Perform plank from a kneeling position. (2) Decrease the time you are performing the exercise to 15 seconds.
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Modifications (1) Take baby out of the mix. (2) Stand with the tall back of a chair facing you, providing your hands a place to balance while performing movement.
Challenge (1) Once in plank position, jump legs out and in as if you were performing the bottom half of a jumping jack. (2) Once in plank position, alternate extending arms in front of you. Therefore balancing on only three stable points.
Challenge (1) Once in pliĂŠ position, lift one heel from the floor. Lower. Switch heels. Lower. Return to standing. (2) Perform full exercise with one heel lifted 8x. Switch sides.
Goal Increase strength of the abdominals and the back.
Goal Increase strength of legs: quadriceps, hamstrings, calves and glutes. Improve posture Strengthen pelvic floor
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PLIE SQUATS HollAndLaneMag.com | 49
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SINGLE LEG SQUATS
BICEP CURLS WITH BABY
Movement 1. Place a chair at least knee height under you. 2. Stand with legs approximately shoulder width apart, toes facing forward. 3. Pull shoulders back, draw in abdominals. 4. Keeping back aligned straight, one vertebrate stacked atop another, fire your glutes (aka squeeze your bottom) and stand straight up. 5. Balance in the single leg standing portion for a moment and then return to a sitting position on the chair. Perform using one leg 8x and then switch to other leg 8x.
Movement 1. Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Toes facing forward. 2. Pull shoulders back, draw in abdominals, hold baby facing in or out with both hands wrapped under their arms and around their chest / midsection. 3. Flex at the elbows to bring baby up towards your face trying not to move your elbows too far from your body. 4. Return to start position by extending at the elbows and lowering baby. Perform 8x.
Modifications (1) Alternate leg each time you stand. (2) Use a higher chair so the distance between standing and sitting is smaller.
Modifications (1) Perform exercise seated, allowing baby to return to your lap after each repetition. (2) Decrease range of motion of the bicep curl. Begin with elbows flexed at 90 degrees and return only to 90 degrees.
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Challenge (1) Once in a standing position add a hop. (2) Perform full exercise while holding baby - ONLY if you feel completely stable and can hold baby with both arms. Goal Increase strength of the legs including the quadriceps, hamstrings, calves and glutes. Improve posture. Improve balance.
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Challenge (1) Perform curl while in a plie position. (2) Begin bicep curl and stop when elbows are flexed at 90 degrees. Take a breath. Continue the full flexion, then extend again to 90 degrees. Hold and take a breath. Fully extend arms to complete. Goal Increase strength of the arms including the biceps, triceps. Increase strength of the back including the traps and rhomboids. Improve posture.
REVERSE SNOW ANGELS Movement 1. Keep your head facing down. In a slow, controlled motion bring your arms up to your shoulders and up to your ears until your thumbs meet directly above your head. 2. Return your arms back to the starting position. 3. Keeping arms straight and elbows locked through the entire movement to engage your lats and shoulders. Perform 8x.
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Modifications Move the arms only halfway so they are even with your shoulders and then return to the original starting position.
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Challenge Perform with legs in hovered position. Glutes engaged. Abdominals drawn in -- navel drawn off the floor.
Goal Increase strength of the back and shoulder muscles including lats, rhomboids and deltoids.
BURPEES
Movement 1. Start in standing position. 2. Squat down and put your hands on the ground. 3. Kick your legs straight out behind you in a parallel position. 4. Perform a push-up. 5. Jump your feet back under you. 6. Spring up out of your crouch with a full jump. Perform 8x. Modifications (1) Omit the push-ups. (2) Omit the end jump.
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Challenge (1) Perform multiple push-ups while in the prone position. (2) Perform the push-ups with one leg hovered off the floor.
STRETCH
Goal Decrease discomfort after exercise. Feel better. Lengthen muscles while warm and least susceptible to injury. Increase flexibility. Decrease heart rate after activity.
Goal Increase cardiovascular stamina. Challenge all the muscle groups of the body at once. HollAndLaneMag.com | 51
MONDAY
Stuck In A Food Rut? When we get on the healthy eating track, we can fall into a trap of eating the same thing day after day. If you’re looking for something new to add to your lunchbox, we have five meals to get you through the week. WORDS & IMAGES BY KATHY WESTERGAARD
• • • •
TUESDAY
• • • • •
Pesto pasta salad with feta, cucumbers, and sunflower sprouts Grapes Royal Corona beans Chocolate chip cookie Rainbow carrots
WEDNESDAY
• • • • •
THURSDAY
• • • •
Charcuterie & cheese tapas Pita + Sriracha hummus Rainbow carrots Caramel truffle
Pan seared garlic shrimp over pineapple fried brown rice Edamame with maldon salt Orange slices Chocolate almonds
Maple roasted acorn squash, goat cheese, and pomegranate seeds over mixed greens Pumpkin muffin Roasted baby potatoes Chocolate sunflower seeds Kiwi
FRIDAY
• • •
Grass fed beef burger on brioche roll Honeycrisp apple & celery Barbecue kettle chips
TRADITIONS: Gluten Free Cinnamon Chocolate Cake WORDS & IMAGES BY CATHERINE SHORT
My mother loves birthday celebrations. In the planning, one detail she left up to us was selecting our birthday cake. My yearly choice was my mother's own cinnamon chocolate cake. The addition of cinnamon to a traditional Texas sheet cake, is unexpected but oh so delicious. Dietary needs, for many of us, often change as we become adults. Eliminating certain foods can sometimes mean having to forgo meal traditions, but gluten-free flour blends have come a long way. With this modified recipe, traditions can now live on.
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CAKE BATTER INGREDIENTS: • 2 cups all purpose flour or 1:1 gluten-free all purpose blend • 2 cups sugar • 1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp salt • 1 cup water • 1/4 cup vegetable oil • 1/2 cup butter • 1/4 cup baking cocoa • 2 eggs • 1/2 cup dairy-free buttermilk* • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1 tsp baking soda FROSTING INGREDIENTS: • 1/2 cup butter • 1/3 cup cream of coconut • 1/4 cup baking cocoa • 1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon • 3 cup confectioners sugar • 1 tsp vanilla extract INSTRUCTIONS: 1. In a bowl, combine the first four ingredients. In a saucepan, combine water, oil, butter & cocoa; bring to a boil over medium heat. Pour over dry ingredients; mix well. 2. Add eggs, buttermilk, vanilla, baking soda; mix well. 3. Pour into greased 9x13 baking pan. Bake at 375 for 40 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean from center.
4. Meanwhile for frosting combine butter, coconut cream, cocoa and cinnamon in a saucepan. 5. Cook & stir over medium heat until butter is melted and mixture is heated through. 6. Remove from heat; beat in sugar and vanilla until smooth. 7. Spread over hot cake. 8. Cool Completely.
*Note: To make dairy-free buttermilk combine 1/2 tablespoon of lemon juice and enough dairy-free milk to equal 1/2 cup total liquid. Stir and let sit for five minutes. Stir before use.
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Winter Granola
WORDS & IMAGES BY CHRISTINE CONTANT-SIMARD
Prep Time: 5-10 minutes Cook Time: 30-35 minutes Makes: 2-3 Servings of Granola Ingredients: • 1 cup rolled oats • 2/3 cup chopped pecans (can be substituted with chopped almonds, walnuts or hazelnuts) • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 1/4 teaspoon ground pepper • 5 tablespoons maple syrup • 1 1/2 tablespoon honey • 1 tablespoon olive oil • 1/4 cup chocolate chips of your choice (or your favorite chocolate bar chopped up) Instructions: 1. Heat oven to 300 F. In a medium sized bowl mix all the ingredients except the chocolate. 2. On a parchment lined baking sheet, pour the granola mix and spread evenly. Bake for 20 minutes and then stir. Bake for another 15-20 minutes until crispy and toasted.
3. Once cooled, transfer the granola to a bowl and mix in the chocolate chips. 4. Enjoy over yoghurt or with milk.
Note: This recipe can be doubled to make more servings and is good for weeks in a sealed container.
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Banana-Blueberry Smoothie WORDS & IMAGES BY MOLLY WANTLAND
Ingredients: • 2 bananas • 1/2 - 1 cup frozen blueberries • 1 handful of spinach • 1-2 tablespoons vanilla • Sprinkle of cinnamon • 2 cups hemp milk (or any milk of your choice) Instructions: 1. Peel and place bananas in blender.
2. Add blueberries, spinach, vanilla, and cinnamon. 3. Pour in hemp milk; blend and enjoy! Serves 2.
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Creamy Vegan Tomato Soup WORDS & IMAGES BY JENNA SHOLINDER
Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 2+ hours Serves: 8-10 Soup Base Ingredients: • 5 medium onions • 5 large carrots • 3 large cans of whole or chopped tomatoes (preferably organic) • 1 large can stewed tomatoes (preferably organic) • 4 tbsp. Earth Balance or EVOO • 2 tsp. raw sugar • 1 tsp. each basil, chervil, marjoram • 2 sprigs fresh parsley • 2 bay leaves • 4 cup vegetable stock • 5 vegan stock cubes (marigold, kallo or oxo) Cream Sauce Ingredients: • 3/4 cup earth balance • 3/4 cup flour • 5 cup original unsweetened coconut, cashew or almond milk • 1 tsp. salt • 1 tsp. vegan parmesan (go veggie) - optional • Dash of pepper and paprika Instructions: 1. Chop onions medium fine
2. Melt earth balance or heat EVOO in a large stockpot. 3. Add onions and saute until soft.
4. Chop carrots and tomatoes in small chunks and add to pot, along with sugar, spices and stock.
5. Simmer all day, stirring occasionally, or at least 2 hours, until the vegetables are soft. 6. Meanwhile, in large saucepan, melt dairy free butter. Add flour and stir together to make a roux. 7. Add milk, stirring in gradually.
8. Cook over medium heat, until thick and creamy.
9. Add the cream sauce to the soup base, reserving 1/4 cup for topping soup. This soup is best with a bit of texture – small chunks of vegetables – not pureed. When serving the soup, swirl a few drops of extra cream sauce, sprinkle with extra dairy-free parmesan if wished, and top with a sprig of parsley.
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Vegan Cabbage Casserole WORDS & IMAGES BY KELLY AGNEW
Prep time: 10 minutes Cook time: 35 minutes Makes: 4-5 meals Ingredients: • 1 tbsp coconut oil • 3 cloves garlic, minced • 1 cooking onion, chopped • 4 cups chopped cabbage • 2 cups spinach • 24 oz. of tomato puree or tomato sauce • 1 tbsp cumin • 1/2 tbsp garlic powder • 1 cup cooked quinoa • 2 cups of cooked green lentils Instructions: 1. Add coconut oil to a large pot and set to medium heat. Once melted, add minced garlic and chopped onion. Fry for 3-5 minutes or until onion is translucent.
2. Add cabbage and spinach to the pot, and stir. Cook for 5 minutes until the spinach has wilted and the cabbage softens. 3. Add tomato sauce, cumin and garlic powder, and stir. Cover the pot with a lid and cook on medium heat for 20 mins. Stir often. 4. Add both cooked quinoa and cooked lentils to the tomato mixture. Stir until heated through.
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Chocolate Chunk Beet Cookies Vegan and Gluten Free
WORDS & IMAGES BY RACHEL MACKAY
Prep Time: 20 Minutes Cook Time: 18 Minutes Makes: 24 Cookies Ingredients: • 1 large beet, chopped • 1 ripe banana • 1/4 cup coconut oil • 1/4 cup nut milk • 1/4 cup nut/seed butter • 1 tsp vanilla • 2.5 cups Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Flour Blend • pinch of sea salt • 1 tsp baking powder • 1 flax egg (1 tbsp ground flax + 2.5 tbsp water) • 1/2 cup chocolate chunks (or dark chocolate bar, roughly chopped) Tools Needed: high powered blender (like a Vitamix), or food processor Instructions: 1. Add the beet, banana, coconut oil, nut milk, seed butter and vanilla to the blender. Blend on high until a liquid is formed.
2. Make the flax egg in a small separate bowl and set aside to gel up.
3. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Slowly fold in the blended liquid ingredients and stir until just combined. Next add the flax egg and stir to combine. Finally stir in the chocolate chunks. 4. Preheat oven to 350.
5. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper and scoop mixture onto trays. 6. Bake in the oven for 15-18 minutes.
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DIY
Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose – not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember. -Anne Sullivan
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CRAFTY HIDEAWAY We all need a little space to call our own, to get our craft on and let all of our creative juices flow. Tabitha Keese created one for herself with pops of pink and graphic black and white and, of course, plenty of DIY projects. WORDS & IMAGES BY TABITHA KEESE
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For the gallery wall, I chose to mimic a symmetrical stripe for the design. First, I used scrap fabric, gold spray paint, a thrift store frame and pair of large plastic scissors to create the focal point. From there, I hung similar frames in the same location on either side of the center. This technique simplified the idea of a gallery wall and made filling the space less intimidating.
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B
Before we purchased our home, I had bags of craft supplies stashed away in corners and closets throughout our townhouse. I dreamed of a day when I’d finally have a designated space to create. In March of 2013, we moved into the new place, I claimed my craft room, I piled my boxes of craft crap in the room and I closed the door. The room sat, an untouched pile of boxes and tangled ribbons, for two years. Like so many other moms, I focused on everyone else. Their rooms, projects and needs. I completed DIY projects for their spaces and, without realizing it, I neglected myself in the process. One day, I decided that was going to change.
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My husband was never going to agree to add a budget line item for my craft room. This room’s design would have to be completed on a serious budget! I finished the space for less than $300 with my biggest expense being paint! Before I had any money for the project, I took to organizing and sorting through my supplies. I realized, after counting more than a dozen glue guns, my lack of organization made me purchase duplicate items. I also realized while I love my supplies, I don’t necessarily want to see all of them at all times. I divided items into three categories based upon use – always, sometimes, and seldom. The items I frequently use (glue guns, glue sticks, scissors, markers, etc.) are incorporated into the room’s design and within plain sight. The items I use sometimes (paper punches, cardstock, ribbons, etc.) are within arm’s reach but stored in drawers or cabinets. Those items I don’t use very often (fabrics, party décor, etc.) are stored in the room’s closet. This method of sorting kept the room design clear of clutter and allowed me to keep the supplies I love without the pressure of finding a means to display them.
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I wanted my craft space to be functional, frugal, and fabulous; proper planning was critical to ensure every penny was well-spent. Pinterest is great for inspiration and ideas. An hour of pinning felt like a day of shopping and that saved my budget every time! I converted a pegboard with gold spray paint, used the hooks to hang pretty buckets I purchased on clearance from Ikea, and I even used the box furniture solutions from the home improvement store to create the wall workspace for less than $75 total! My final go-to was the thrift stores. Regular visits to check out the new inventory was a life saver on décor; I found so many unique items to pull the space together!
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This space serves as my reminder to invest time and energy into me and finding my happy place. I truly believe my family benefits when I recharge. I wanted the room’s design to be a reflection of me – bright and cheery, feminine and functional, stylish and eclectic. I also wanted to create a clean space with plenty of room for my big ideas. Taking the risk with the DIY projects and thrifty finds helped my room tell my story.
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During my shopping visits, I also picked up every pair of old scissors I saw. The pegboard hooks made the perfect display for my growing collection!
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On one thrift store visit, I saw a dress form priced at $9 and I had to have it! It didn’t have a stand or a purpose in the craft space but, with a little imagination and an old floor lamp for the base, it made the perfect inspiration board for the space!
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DIY ANTLER DECOR If you’re looking to spruce up your home decor, look no further than this trendy DIY antler project. It’s simple, will take you minimal time and with the addition of your favorite flowers, you can make it totally your own. WORDS & IMAGES BY KRYSTAL KRISTIANSEN
INSTRUCTIONS:
YOU WILL NEED: • Antlers • Scrap Wood • Wood Glue or Small Screws • Gold Sparkle Spray Paint • Large Screws (to go through antlers) • Faux Succulents/Flowers • Glue Gun • Glue • Picture Hanging Kit
1. Cut pieces of scrap wood into four to six identical pieces (depending on size of antlers) with 45° angles at the ends of each piece. Attach them together in a chevron design with wood-glue or small screws through a piece of strapping on the back. 2. Spray paint the antlers with gold glitter paint. Rustoleum Glitter Paint was used here with 3 light coats. 3. Attach the antlers to the front of the chevron piece using larger screws.
4. Arrange the succulents over the center antlers, covering the screws until you are happy with where they sit. Glue them on with a hot glue gun. Fill in any empty spaces with the flowers. 5. It’s ready to hang! Use a picture framing kit, or string a piece of wire across the back and hang up in whichever spot needs a little antler love!
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DIY MOON PHASE CLOCK
The moon phase craze is in full swing right now and we couldn't help but add a little bit to our decor too! DIY clocks are super easy and inexpensive to make, plus they're customizable to your home and style. WORDS & IMAGES BY SARAH WISSINGER
YOU WILL NEED: • Poster board • Xacto knife • Pencil • Black paint • Paintbrush • Printed moon phase images • Scissors • Glue • Clock kit & battery
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INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Using a pencil, trace around a large pot or lid on your poster board to create your circular clock base. Cut out with an Xacto knife.
2. Add two coats of acrylic black paint to your poster board circle, allowing dry time between each coat. Meanwhile, print and cut out your moon phase images. 3. Lay your moon phase images onto your clock ensuring even spacing. We recommend using 8 images instead of 10. Our "Full Moon" image is at 12 and "New Moon" is at 6. 4. Glue down your moon phase images and allow to dry completely. 5. Using a ruler, find the center of your clock and mark with a small dot. Use an Xacto knife to make a small hole in the center where you will attach the clock kit. 6. Following clock kit instructions, attach clock kit and insert battery to operate.
YOU WILL NEED: • Mod Podge • Map paper* • Water • Sponge brush • Gold leaf (optional) • Spray gloss sealer • Cup & ceramic dish • Plastic animal (optional) • Super Glue (if using plastic animal) *Card stock was used for this project, but real maps will work as well.
DIY MAP PENCIL & CLIP HOLDER If there’s one thing that can help you be productive at work, it’s cute desk accessories. Make yours personal with this map pencil and clip holder DIY! WORDS & IMAGES BY JESS DOWNEY
INSTRUCTIONS FOR PENCIL HOLDER: 1. Cut paper into strips.
2. (*You only need this step if you’re using regular card stock since it’s much too thick to work with.) Get paper wet. You don't want it to be sopping wet so use a sponge brush to paint the water on the paper. 3. Cover cup with a coat of Mod Podge.
4. Apply strips of paper. Place them in straight lines so you can cover all of the cup and then get creative with the other layers. You can cut the strips as you're going if you need them to fit better. Wrap the handle with strips of paper. 5. Cover with another coat of Mod Podge and let dry. You can use your fingers to make it smooth if necessary. You'll want to let it dry because the paper is really fragile since it's wet. 6. Cover with another coat of Mod Podge.
7. Repeat step 4. But this time layer the paper however you want it to look. Put the coolest looking parts of the paper where you can see them. Have fun with it!
9. Optional: Paint the inside, rim, and bottom with gold leaf. If you're not using the gold leaf, just spray with sealer and let dry another 24 hours. If you're painting with gold leaf, use a sponge brush. You might need to apply a couple of coats. Be sure to let it dry in between. Once you're done, let dry for another 24 hours and spray with sealer. When you spray it with the sealer BE CAREFUL. If you get too much or too close then some of the gold leaf will come off. INSTRUCTIONS FOR CLIP HOLDER: 1. Repeat steps 1-9 from map holder.
2. While everything is drying, paint the plastic animal with gold leaf. 3. After everything is completely dry, glue the animal to the dish using super glue. Let the glue dry. 4. Spray with sealer and let dry for 24 hours.
8. Cover with another coat of Mod Podge and let dry 24 hours.
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DIY FOOD EMOJI SHOPPING BAGS We’re huge advocates for reusable shopping bags and if you’re looking for a cuter option that doesn’t have grocery store names on it, try this fun food emoji print DIY! Read on to learn how you can make these for your next shopping trip! WORDS & IMAGES BY SARAH WISSINGER
YOU WILL NEED: • Plain white or light-colored canvas shopping bags • Fabric transfer paper • Food emoji images • Printer & Ink • Scissors • Iron
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INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Compile your food emoji images in Word. Here, we Googled for the different food items we wanted, copied them into Word, and resized the photos to approximately 3". If any of your photos have text, remember to reverse them so they print correctly.
2. Print your photos onto your fabric transfer paper. Make sure the paper is loaded into your printer properly. In most home printers, the fabric transfer side of the paper will need to be facing down when loaded.
3. Cut out your images, leaving a small border around each. Lay out your photos on your canvas bags to make sure your pattern is how you want it. 4. Iron your bags flat to remove any wrinkles. Then lay your images out facedown in your desired pattern. Iron each image for about 30 seconds. Complete this process on both sides of the bag if you want images on each side.
5. Allow bag and images to cool completely. Then carefully peel off the paper backing to reveal your fun food emojis!
DIY INFINITY SCARF
Infinity scarves are trendy, warm, and don’t require any special knots and twists to make them look chic. Learn to make your own with this simple DIY.
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WORDS & IMAGES BY ROSALIND SASO
YOU WILL NEED: • Scarf that you would like to make into an infinity scarf • Sewing Machine • Scissors • Thread • Pins Instructions: 1. Lay scarf lengthwise out on table, right side facing up. Cut away any fringes on either end of scarf, if applicable. Fold short edges over to meet. Pin length of scarf, leaving approx. 3” (7 ½ cm) on either end unpinned.
2. Using a straight stitch and a 1/2” seam allowance, begin sewing from the first pin to the last pin (back stitching to lock stitches in place), and removing the pins as you go. You should now have a ‘tube’. 3. Turn ‘tube’ inside out. Seam should now be on the inside of
the tube. Lay the scarf lengthwise on a table with the seam facing up.
4. Fold the left edge of the scarf up as shown in image 1.
5. Fold again, bringing the edge under the scarf as shown in image 2. This is how you will create the perpetual twist in the scarf. The open edge will now be facing up on both ends of the scarf. 6. Bring both ends of the scarf together, matching both open ends. Pin the open ends together, matching both seams. Shown in image 3. 7. Stitch, using a 1/2” seam allowance, from one end to the other (backstitching at both ends). You should now have an opening approx. 6” in length.
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8. Stitch the opening closed using either a hand stitch or by machine. HollAndLaneMag.com | 71
LIFE STORIES
The beginning is the most important part of the work. -Plato
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let’s yomance! WORDS & IMAGES BY ADAENA TRAY
You’ve heard of romances and bromances, but you’ve probably yet to hear about the almighty yomance. That’s because yomance is a totally made up word that I coined to describe the practice of romancing yo’self. A little backstory: for the past few years, I’ve had Tuesday mornings off from work. Most of the time I’d use these few hours to get caught up on housework and run errands. Occasionally I’d squeeze in a quiet morning at a coffee shop or a scenic walk in a neighborhood across town. I began to notice how much more reenergized I felt after these solo dates than if I were to, say, scrub toilets or vacuum my car. At the beginning of 2015, I decided to ban Tuesday morning adulting altogether. Instead, I’d use that time to leave my house and add a dash of excitement and fun to an otherwise routine work week. I’d usually snap one or two pictures of my Tues-date to share on social media. During one of my visits to a local museum, I was trying to come up with a clever Instagram caption and thought “This is like romancing yourself. That’s it! Yomancing!” (By the way, if you search the #yomance hashtag on Instagram, you get a lot of pictures of frozen yogurt, which is equally awesome). Ladies, I invite you to give yomancing a try. Here’s how it works: 1. Block off a chunk of time every week for yourself. Ideally you’ll want to have between two and four hours per yomance – just enough to enjoy a little break outside of home and work without making major sacrifices. Rearrange your schedule, have someone else watch the kids, let the dishes fester in the sink. Do what you must do to create this sacred space for yourself. 2. Seek inspiration for your outings. I keep a long list of ideas on my phone that includes restaurants, museums and cultural institutions, spots for walking or hiking, events and more. Now’s the time to check out places that your family and friends might not be into. Husband doesn’t like Asian food? Try a ramen bar! Friends wouldn’t be caught dead snowtubing? Put on your embarrassingly large ski pants and seize the day! Too often we let other people’s availability and personal preferences hold us back. Yomances allow YOU to call the shots. 3. Go forth and yomance, my friend! If you feel self-conscious about being alone in public, now is the time to overcome those fears. You’ll eventually learn that no one cares or is judging you for being a party of one. Challenge yourself with an activity that is usually done in the company of others, such as dining out or seeing a show; you might be surprised how much you enjoy it! My yomances have increased my confidence and led to some great introspection, people-watching and conversations with strangers – things that wouldn’t always happen if I was in a group setting. 4. Share your #yomance on social media - where did you go, what did you see, who did you meet, how did you feel? Regina George is probably rolling her eyes and saying “Stop trying to make yomance happen.” Nevertheless, I shall forge on and become a champion of yomancing because I believe that all women deserve time to themselves. ✴
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Inside The Mind Of An ADDICT
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y name is Ruby. I am 34 years old and I come from a small town in Ireland. My story should have been straight forward. A good girl from a good family. There were high hopes for me. The word potential was used a lot. But what does potential mean? That I could do something great. Possibly. Maybe. I would never have believed you if you had told me back then how things were going to turn out for me. Even now when I look back, I still can’t quite believe it. I look back on the last twenty years of my life and it’s like a nightmare. Sometimes I can’t quite work out if an event actually happened, if I dreamed it or if it was a hallucination. My memories are fuzzy and hazy. Like interference on a tv or white noise on a radio. Thankfully I have kept many diaries, notes and records over the years so I have something to refer to. I grew up in a small town, the youngest of four. As a child I was quiet, a good student but things started to go wrong for me as I reached my teenage years. I wasn’t happy at home. My father drank a lot and my parents fought constantly. There was an incredibly tense atmosphere in our house so I started to spend as little time as possible there. Age 13, I started in secondary school and met a lot of new friends. I had very little confidence in myself and was desperate to be accepted and liked by my new ‘cool’ friends. I dropped out of competitive swimming and gave up my beloved ballet. I took up smoking. Then drinking. And then began to dabble in drugs. I used sporadically for the next few years but it wasn’t until I tried heroin at the age of 18 that my drug use started to spin out of control. I was instantly hooked. Soon I was living in the murky underworld that is drug addiction. I went from being a girl with a dream to a girl living in a nightmare. My life turned upside down. I first became psychologically addicted. Then physically addicted. I dreaded waking up each morning knowing what lay ahead. I turned into a person whom I did not recognize. I became a proficient liar, an expert thief and did unspeakable things for money and drugs. It was a race to keep the sickness and withdrawals at bay and I was always playing catch up. For the next few years, I was on the never ending merry-go-round that is addiction. Drugs, methadone, treatment, relapse. I was literally going around in circles. >>
WORDS BY RUBY TUESDAY
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It’s really quite difficult to explain addiction to someone who has never experienced it. But I will try with this analogy. Imagine that you have an itch. The itchiest itch that you have ever experienced. At first it is annoying but you can handle it. You can function with it. You are aware of it but you can manage with it. But as the itch persists, it begins to infringe on your life. It’s all you can think about now and it’s affecting everything you do. You can’t help but scratch it. Now imagine that instead of fingernails, you have razor blades. As you scratch, you tear in to your skin. Cutting it and slicing it to ribbons. The more you scratch, the more you bleed but you can’t help it. You know that if you continue to scratch you will die but you can’t stop. Your family and friends are beyond worried. They try and get you to stop but nothing is as important as relieving that itch. Nothing.
me out of myself and remind me to stay grounded. I say that I spend a lot of time trying to escape reality. But the thing is that my reality is not that bad. I have a strong family around me, two dogs. I live in a nice house, I sleep in a clean and dry bed. I have every comfort and don’t want for anything. Yet I still find myself drawn back to the world of drugs, time and time again. It had come to a point where I was broken. Mentally, spiritually and physically. I knew that if I wanted any semblance of a normal life, I had to stay clean and sober.
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In 2004 I went in to drug treatment for the first time. I stayed there for six months and when I was discharged, we moved across the country to get away from my old town and old using friends. Over the next few years, I battled hard to stay clean and sober. I relapsed many times and sometimes it felt like one step forward and two steps back but I kept going. In 2005, I started on a methadone programme. It has been an important part of my recovery and eliminated much of the chaos from my life. As are NA meetings and having friends in recovery.
It seemed that I would do well for a while and manage to stay on the straight and narrow. But then, and for no reason whatsoever, I would break out and go on a massive binge. I switched from heroin to prescription pills and alcohol which were easier to get. I spent my days in my living room, drifting in and out of sleep. It was the same shit, different substance.
“You know that if you continue to scratch you will die but you can’t stop. Your family and friends are beyond worried. They try and get you to stop but nothing is as important as relieving that itch. Nothing.
Over the last ten years, I have had short periods of clean time but have had many slips and relapses. Sometimes it feels that I can’t handle my own reality and can’t live in the here and now. My own head can be a noisy and horrible place to be. I feel like I am constantly trying to run away from myself, from the negative thoughts that plague me. From the boredom and monotony I feel in everyday life. From the low self esteem and low self confidence that I struggle with. From the demons in my own head and the constant stream of negativity in my head.
All the while that I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, my eating disorder was silently developing. For the first few years of my illness, I had no idea that I had a deadly disease. I thought that I had no appetite and was so underweight because of the drugs. It was first brought to my attention when I did my first drug detox in hospital. I was 19. A nurse sat me down and told me that I had anorexia. I refused to believe her. I just couldn’t take it in. Even though my behaviours backed up her claim, I just was not able to process it. It was bad enough to have one illness to contend with. Two were just far too much to deal with.
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Even though I struggle a lot, I am very blessed to have an amazingly strong family behind me. And also two beautiful dogs that I rescued ten years ago. They are my reason for carrying on. They show me such unconditional love and endless loyalty. They are the reason I fight to stay clean and sober. When I can’t find a reason to get up in the morning, I get up for them. When I don’t want to leave the house, I leave to walk them. They take
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I spent the rest of that hospital stay trying to prove that I didn’t have an eating disorder. I tried to fool staff by hiding food and flushing it down the toilet. Even though I couldn’t admit to it, in reality I was dangerously underweight and very ill. I think my denial at the time protected me from losing it completely. After that particular hospital stay, I was supposed to go on to treatment. However the facility would not accept me as I was not physically strong enough. This was the first of many instances when I found myself either too sick or not sick enough to qualify for treatment. >>
My eating disorder and addiction are intrinsically linked. If I look back, I can see that they both developed around the same time, in my late teens. During my using days I spent a lot of time in houses where there was very little food. Every penny went to drugs and no money was spent on food. When using, I barely ate a thing and the weight fell off me. Every so often I would go home to recharge my batteries. I can remember feeling so hungry and so overwhelmed by all the food available. I was so hungry that I binged and then felt incredibly guilty that I had food and my using friends didn’t. I think this was the start of my issues with food.
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Again, it’ s hard to explain what It’s like to live with an eating disorder. I guess I would liken it to that of a relationship with an abuser. Like an abuser, my eating disorder groomed me and lured me in with false promises of happiness, success and fulfilment. Once I was seduced, it showed its true colours and how evil it truly is. By then it was too late. I was held captive and it became increasingly difficult to escape.
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Over the years, I bounced between my eating disorder and my addiction. When one was under control, the other would spin out of control. It was when I first went to drug rehab that I admitted that I had issues with food. For some reason it was much harder to admit to having an eating disorder than it was admitting that I had a drug problem. The truth was that I didn’t know a lot about eating disorders. I didn’t think that I was fat and I wasn’t trying to lose weight so I was really very confused about the whole thing. I never used to weigh myself and it wasn’t until doctors and nurses began to weigh me that I started to take notice of the number. The number seemed important to them. And so it became important to me. In 2007, my weight fell so low that I was admitted to hospital. I was kept under 24 hour supervision for two weeks before being admitted to the local psychiatric hospital. After a few weeks there I was transferred to Dublin to participate in a recovery programme. For me, treatment in this setting did not work. I’ve been to treatment five times and never really made much progress. I found it incredibly difficult to be around other disordered girls and also the focus on weight meant that I never really moved past the fear of gaining weight.
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A lot of people with anorexia go on to develop bulimia and I was one of those people. Unlike anorexia which is plain to see, bulimia is invisible. No one would ever know that you were suffering unless you told them. That is the thing about mental illness. The person may look completely healthy but their mind, their thinking and behaviours might all be in turmoil. I found that when I gained weight, people assumed that I was better when in fact I still had the same mindset. It’s no exaggeration to say that I was just as sick at my highest weight as I was at my lowest weight. >>
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If anorexia is cold and silent and aloof, then bulimia is loud and brash and in your face. At my worst I was binging and purging up to 20 times a day. I stole food from supermarkets, ate food that was not mine. I could not stop. I had a path worn from my kitchen to my bathroom. My life became more and more limited. I pushed my family and friends away and my world shrank to just me and my eating disorder. My weight plummeted. But along with the weight, I felt like I was losing my mind. I had a passive death wish. Not actively seeking it but willing it to happen.
and downs. So much learning and growing. So much has happened. Just as quickly as things can spiral downwards, they can also turn around just as quickly and easily. I have managed to regain weight to a healthy BMI and continue to maintain it. I’ve stabalised on my methadone and other meds. I gave up smoking and am now over a year smoke free. These are challenging and exciting times.
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Recovery is not easy, not at all. I still battle my demons every single day and often have bad days when I feel that I can’t function. Recovery is not a place or a destination. It is a process. A state of being. A state of mind. A life long path. It takes months to recover physically, years to recover mentally and a life time to recovery completely. I take it day by day. Anything is possible if we break it down in to bite sized chunks.
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It’s a strange truth that I spent more time worrying that I didn’t have an eating disorder than worrying if I did have one. I felt like an anorectic imposter as I felt that I was never thin enough to have an eating disorder. Even at my lowest weight, when I weighed the same as my golden retriever, I still questioned whether I really did have an eating disorder or not. After being discharged from my last stint in treatment last year, I was at my wits end. I felt so distraught that I just didn’t know what to do. I wanted to get well but I didn’t know where to start. I felt so overwhelmed that I took an overdose of my meds. I closed my eyes and hoped that I wouldn’t wake up.
In fact I did wake up and the next day I confessed to my therapist as I feared it would happen again. She immediately jumped in to action. She told me that I had two options. I could either present at hospital or see my psychiatrist the next day. I chose the latter. After seeing him and my doctor, my meds were tweaked and a plan was put in place. I felt so numb and disconnected. I didn’t have much hope that things would improve. But despite my fears, slowly but surely over the next few weeks things began to improve. My mood lifted slightly, enough to give me a glimmer of hope. My anxiety lessened which was a huge relief as I had been living in a constant state of fear and anxiety. As my mental health improved, my weight began to increase. My purging decreased, my overall health improved. Things were looking up. I began to feel hope again, for the first time in years.
I’ve accepted that I am an addict and have mental health issues. I feel no shame in admitting that. All my experiences have made me in to the person that I am today. For the longest time, I thought that I was a bad person. I had a little voice in my head telling me that I was fat, ugly and worthless and a burden to my family. Having an eating disorder or an addiction is like having a bully take up residence in your head and if you listen to it enough, you begin to believe it. For me, recovery is about trying to learn to deal with that voice and replace it with a more positive one. Today is a good day. I’m feeling positive about the future. I’m not using. My eating disorder is mostly under control. My mental and physical health are the best they have ever been. I’m getting stronger every day and am building up a resistance to my demons. The key for me is to make small and positive changes. Baby steps. Because baby steps add up to be great stride. I try to use baby steps every day. Things like putting my scales away, engaging in therapy, being kind to myself, asking for help and putting one foot in front of the other and keeping going. I am living proof that there is life after addiction and mental health issues. I am proof that it is possible to start over. To rewrite the ending of your story. The jump from illness to recovery is a huge one. But it starts with a leap of faith and a belief that there has to be something better out there for us. Because there is. There is always a second chance and a third and a fourth….
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I can’t lie. Weight restoration was extremely hard and my body image during this transition was not great. My perception of myself continued to be very distorted but if weight gain was the price I had to pay in order to feel well, then I was willing to pay it. My quality of life had now improved markedly. I began seeing friends again. I attended support groups. And because I felt better, life became easier and even more enjoyable. I began to find joy in the little things, the simple things. I laughed again. Something that I hadn’t done in years. And it felt amazing. It’s now about 18 months since I first embarked on recovery. And it certainly has been a rollercoaster. So many highs and lows, ups
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I think a huge part of recovery is finding things that bring you joy and fulfilment. Things that fill the void that addiction and disordered eating leave behind. For me those things are my family, my friends, my dogs and my writing. I write my blog in the hope that I can help others who are in the same position as me. I am passionate about that work. As a good friend once said to me. It’s not a choice between the eating disorder and recovery. It’s a choice between life and death. And I choose life. ✴
Making Strides For Shaun
In November 2014, the unimaginable happened and a beloved son, brother, cousin, and friend took his own life. Instead of letting this ruin their own lives, his friends and family are helping to prevent this tragedy from striking another. WORDS & IMAGES BY MEG MCLEMORE
I
n the early morning hours of November 30, 2014 our biggest fear surfaced at full speed. We were now living our greatest nightmare. Shaun had been out that night for his 10 year high school class reunion. He had had an amazing time: he gave a toast to his class, organized the class photo, gave out hugs in abundance, told his classmates that he loved them and was so happy they came – something that wasn’t unusual for him to do during a night out. On the outside he looked beyond happy. He made sure everyone else was having a phenomenal time. Shortly after the evening ended, Shaun’s extreme high crashed to an extreme low and he attempted suicide after arriving home. In a matter of minutes our lives became forever changed. Shaun was air lifted to Toledo Hospital where he remained in a coma and on life support until the early evening of December 2, 2014.
Shaun had battled depression since a young age, something only those closest to him were aware of. Outwardly, he appeared as one of the happiest, fun loving and adventurous people who had a zest for life. He spoke to only a few about previous thoughts of taking his life and it was a fear that still lived in the pits of our stomachs, even when he seemed to be doing better. He described The Darkness he felt as “the monster that lives inside me”. Over the course of several years, Shaun was on and off medication to help with his depression, underwent a brief stint of counseling and was hospitalized once. He did not care for any of those forms of treatment; to him, the gym and riding his quad was therapy, as that is what made him feel his best. Loved ones encouraged him, at times even pleaded with him, to seek appropriate help. At the time of his death, Shaun’s depression was not being treated. >>
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Shaun had the biggest heart of anyone that we know. To know him was to love him, and he touched all of our lives in ways beyond description. Shaun would give a stranger the shirt off of his back; he was the smile in the room, the one who made you laugh when you were down and the person who was always checking on everyone else to make sure they were ok. He was a jokester as well as a confidant; yet Shaun carried the weight of the world on his broad shoulders. He was a beloved son, brother, boyfriend, grandson, nephew, cousin, uncle, and friend.
as we like to call it) on such a dark subject, we have created an intimate place for grieving families to share their personal stories. We have been blessed to have met and connected with some amazing people who, like ourselves, have recently lost a loved one to suicide. At our inaugural event this past September, we saw over 250 people from all walks of life, come together in memory of their loved ones lost and in honor of those still struggling daily with their depression. We had received countless emails and Facebook messages from those in our community that wanted to share their own experiences with us, and I cannot begin to describe how honored we were to be entrusted with their words.
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Shaun's suicide was devastating and heartbreaking beyond measure. It caused a pain that until you have experienced it, you can not fully understand how hard it is to face the never ending grief that comes from losing someone by their own choice. You spend every day wondering what you could have done differently to change the outcome, to avoid the heartache, and to evade the pain. Your grief is overwhelming most days, and you look to channel your energy into something, anything, to get you through the toughest ones. For us, it was Making Strides.
Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US for all ages. (CDC) Every day, approximately 105 Americans die by suicide. (CDC) There is one death by suicide in the US every 13 minutes. (CDC) Depression affects 20-25% of Americans ages 18+ in a given year. (CDC) Suicide takes the lives of over 38,000 Americans every year. (CDC) Only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major depression receive treatment. (NAMI) Suicide among males is 4x’s higher than among females. Male deaths represent 79% of all US suicides. (CDC) Females are more likely than males to have had suicidal thoughts. (CDC) Females experience depression at roughly 2x’s the rate of men.(SMH) Females attempt suicide 3x’s as often as males. (CDC)
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If you, or someone you know, are having thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800273-8255.
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Almost immediately after losing Shaun, Jen, his sister, and I began discussing an event to be held in memory of him. Shortly thereafter, Jen was contacted by Lenawee Community Mental Health about the possibility of her organizing a walk for suicide awareness here in Lenawee County. As the pieces seemed to fall perfectly into place, we began working with a small committee, to whom we are so absolutely grateful for, to form Making Strides: a community walk focused on the awareness and prevention of suicide. This was our way to share Shaun's story with the world, and it was our chance to break down the stigma attached to depression, to spread Suicide Awareness, and to ultimately prevent the loss of another life.
To date, Shaun's Story has been shared with over 11,000 people on social media. Much like the story of Pandora's Box, Shaun's is one that is full of sadness, pain, and suffering; It is also one that is filled with hope. Our hope for Making Strides, is to grow this event and hold it annually in our community, with the immediate goal being to use the funds raised towards a support group for families that have lost someone to suicide right here in Lenawee County. Our hope for our community, is that by bringing awareness to suicide and depression, we will save another family from experiencing the pain of losing a loved one to something that is completely preventable. And our hope for those struggling, is that by reading Shaun's Story, and those we have also shared on our Facebook, they are able to recognize that they are not alone in their struggles and are able to seek help. That in the midst of their own pain and suffering, they too, find hope. ✴
The journey that we have taken during the course of planning this event has been nothing short of incredible. As a result of the stigma that is attached to depression and suicide, it is not a topic readily discussed. By shedding light (or 'shaunshine'
If you are interested in sharing your personal story of how suicide has affected your life, please email us at StridesforShaun@gmail.com To follow Making Strides for Suicide Awareness and Prevention on FB, go to www.facebook.com/stridesforshaun
STUDENT SPOTLIGHT
CAMOUFLAGE
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y name is Dwayne and I am a homosexual. I have been this way since I can remember. However, that is definitely not all of who I am. I am also a caring brother, a loving son, and a proud service member in the army. It wasn’t always this way. I used to be insecure, a self-harmer and confused. My earliest memory dates back to kindergarten, where I always felt closer to the girls in the class. I’m guessing this is because my father was not a huge part of my life at this point and my mother, aunts, and grandmother were my guardians. I was different no doubt. Other boys were talking about matchbox cars and trading cards. I just wanted to discuss the latest Barbie dolls. I was teased and ridiculed for my interests, but soon learned to camouflage them. Continuing my journey through school and adolescence, I learned how to hone this technique of concealing. I knew who I was deep down but knew we lived in a world where who I truly was, was not ready to be accepted. It was basically the prerequisites of operational security, something I had no idea about until the military. I was unknowingly preparing myself for my journey to become a soldier, even at elementary level. Eventually earning the bravery characteristic every soldier needs. >>
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In eighth grade I decided to step out of the shadows of pretending and hiding. I came out as a homosexual to my entire school and soon after, my family. I was commended by some and belittled by many. My mother and sisters were extremely supportive of my lifestyle and decision. It was a whirlwind of emotions. Constant fear, insecurity, triumph, and being free to name the most important. Constant fear and insecurity stemming from my fellow students throwing things at me as I walked through the halls, writing “FAG” on my locker, and giving the occasional jab to my body calling me homo. What didn’t make sense is that they were trying to hurt me with truth. I indeed was a homo and gay and queer. Among other things. The feelings of triumph and freeness coming from being able to be who I truly was. If only the good could have triumphed the evil in my head/life.
I remember crying myself to sleep on the first night, feeling agonizing fear of the unknown. The military was something I never knew anything about, not even considered it as an option all my life. I told myself I was too weak and the thought of being surrounded by the manliest of men only made me shudder. However, I was there and it was happening. I went through basic training at first feeling personally attacked and always on guard because of my peers. I’ve never felt a greater fear than the thought of being found out and judged by these men/women. Later I found out that these men and women were the true successors behind support and security within me.
As basic training went by I found myself doing things I never thought I would be able to do, learning things that were already prevalent in my life. I soon realized that I was pre-conditioned for After being hit, bullied and beaten for so long I eventually the military since birth. Operational security; keeping the details of started to follow suit with my peers. Any feeling of greatness missions, files and military related personal private and secret. This about my decision to come out was quickly replenished with feelwas something I was doing since I could remember. Hiding my sexings of regret. I let myself walk into the light but slipped back into uality and then later hiding my cuts and scars. Learning how to deal the dark. The world knew who I was but I let them define who I with pain and separation from loved ones. Something else I was became; a self-harmer. acquainted with because of my past life. Dealing with gory scenarios and blood. “Blood. It bothers some Blood. It bothers some people but beAnother training I had no problem with came a symbol of control to me. The pain. because of my memories. Being so fapeople but became a It hurt less than the hurt I felt inside but miliar with military conditioning drills symbol of control to it was pain I could control. I didn’t enmade my experience there so much more me. The pain. It hurt less joy seeing myself bleed but I yearned to bearable. be in control. It wasn’t something I was than the hurt I felt inproud of and still isn’t. I was able to hide The real struggle was letting my guard side but it was pain I the scars because of my prior experidown around men. That was something ence with cloaking pain and emotions. I wasn’t familiar with. Since I didn’t have could control.” The cuts were parts of me I didn’t want a father figure in my life and most of my broadcasted. But I couldn’t keep these bullies were usually males, there was a parts of me quiet. My scars/cuts didn’t cry for help. They screamed. sense of disconnect. My fellow soldiers didn’t ridicule me or create a disconnection I was expecting, though. Instead they provided me Eventually this screaming was heard. My friends banded together with love and support. I’ve been able to be myself, openly stating and saved me from myself. I was discovered. No longer clad in my my sexuality, and have still been able to connect with soldiers. The camo, I was seen and vulnerable. I had a select group of friends that military made me a strong soldier but the most valuable thing it built my confidence, stopped my self-harming issue and brought taught me was trusting men and not shielding myself from them. me back into the light. Gaining support and positivity from others created a security in myself. That security was a stranger, one that I graduated my training and became an official soldier in April, became a friend and stayed with me all through high-school. 2013. Ever since then I have felt secure in who I am, strong about my decisions, and my life is a light of confidence. I do not condone After high-school, I didn’t have a plan. I had interest in many self-harming for anyone. It’s a low point in someone’s life and I things but no plan of execution for them. The friend I called secuemploy everyone to seek help or help someone struggling. Because rity seemed to be slipping away. I was confused. After researching of my relationship with cutting/insecurity, I venture to help othsolutions, I turned to the military because I wanted to better myself ers struggling with problems. Honor, duty, respect, selfless service, physically, mentally and create a foundation for years to come. I integrity, personal courage, and leadership. The 7 core army values swore in September 2012 and embarked on my journey to become that I live by and strive for. My values went from conflicting pain on a soldier November 5th. myself for control to the military standards. So yes, I am a homosexual but I’m also a strong and proud soldier. ✴
Are you a student who is interested in being featured in our Student Spotlight series? Email stories@hollandlanemag.com.
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FAMILY
We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe HollAndLaneMag.com | 83
A NEW MOTHER’S PERSPECTIVE
The Gigantic Task Of Motherhood When that first line appears on the pregnancy test, you run through the gamut of emotions. But until your brand new baby enters your life, you aren’t quite sure what to expect from this new life called Motherhood. Jenny opens up about what it has been like for her. WORDS & IMAGES BY JENNY WILLIAMS
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n my high school days, I babysat the occasional lone infant and assumed I was getting a small taste of motherhood. I always knew I wanted to have children one day, but the baby stage seemed so … boring. Sitting on the floor with a cooing, chubby baby was adorable for a few minutes, but how could one endure a long succession of such days--staring at a human who could not talk, or even reciprocate affection? When I became pregnant, I looked forward to being a mom with great anticipation. And while I knew my job would entail more than sitting on the floor, oohing and awing all day, I still held onto the small fear that the first year of motherhood would be mundane. Since I was planning to stay at home with our little one, I had many questions. Would I miss adult interaction? Would I miss my full-time job? Would I have any time to myself, or is motherhood really about self-sacrifice one hundred percent of the time? At the heart of all my fears, I think, was the belief that self-sacrifice is boring. As I’m writing this, Violet is six months old. My fear that the first months with Violet would be boring seems laughable now, of course. My days are not, in fact, spent staring at her in silence (although I do my fair share of that). They are, in fact, made up of mountains of laundry formed by miniature clothing, and worrying about the amount of spit up she projects on a daily basis. I tend to a lot of bodily functions. Taking care of myself has taken on a whole new meaning, knowing I am my baby’s primary source of care and nutrients. I take her on walks through the neighborhood so she can feel the sun on her face. I’ve unintentionally memorized “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” because I love the way her mouth gapes and her eyes follow each turning page as I read it aloud. To most people, this is not an enviable way of life. To outsiders, this life may even look pitiable. I’m only six months into my new role, but so far, rather than feeling narrow, my job continually feels larger and more challenging as the days go by. >>
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I THINK WHAT MAKES MOTHERHOOD FEEL SO IMPORTANT, IS THE SELF-SACRIFICE THAT SOUNDS SO INTIMIDATING BEFORE IT COMES INTO PLAY
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A few years ago I was working for a senator in Washington, D.C. I knew the next step in my career would likely mean a position that provided little work/life balance. I dreaded the idea of being always a phone call or text away from being accountable to my boss. And yet, this job I have now is more demanding than any of my jobs before this--requiring more of me than I knew I had to give--and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. In this role, I get to be fully me, and then some.
The other day I dragged several dusty boxes out of my parents’ shed marked “Jenny’s books”. I was hoping to find a few specific ones when I opened them, and I was not disappointed. Inside, were dozens of the books I read and re-read as a child. They played a big part in shaping my view of the world, and just to hold their faded pages in my hand brought back so many warm memories of reading on rainy days or curled up in bed long past my bedtime.
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Most of my daily duties are simple, but my little bundle of joy creates a wonderful diversion from the smallness of everyday life. Not once has the thought, “this is boring” crossed my mind. “I’m too tired for this” and “I need a break” certainly have, but never a temptation to think of this stage of life as dull. My high school-self is relieved.
I took them home and filled the shelf that spans the length of one wall in Violet’s small nursery, and every time I glance at them after changing her diaper, I get a thrill knowing there is so much ahead of us. It’s moments like these when I get a glimpse of the vastness of my role. We still have a few thousand readings of board books to go, but we will eventually get to chapter books. And then what a whole new world will be opened to her! That I serve as a guide is both exhilarating and terrifying.
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If the piles of never-ending laundry feel, well, never-ending, they are also a reminder of how quickly good turns to bad and bad to good. How nothing lasts forever, and how short and precious life is. The tiny, simple, monotonous tasks that make up daily existence are a part of life, but they serve a purpose. To outsiders, our world may look small, and some may think moms are wasting their talents. But while being everything to someone is an overwhelming job, it is far from small. It is far from restrictive.
I came across this quote by G.K. Chesterton before I ever became pregnant, and it stuck with me. Now, I can’t get over the truth of it:
“How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”
And I think it is because self-sacrifice, in any form, is more liberating than one could ever imagine. Taking care of the thing you love leads more and more to loving what you take care of. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. In that sense, no moment is wasted or too minute. An outpouring of selfless love, then, is an invitation to a life of contentment and satisfaction. It is a goal to always be striving toward. And one that is simultaneously exhausting and hopeful. I’m a brand new mom. The memories of my long, drawn-out labor are fresh on my mind. My lack of pay-check is manifested in the length of our to-buy list. I hope I always remember this feeling of “what I’ve given up” down the road, not as an excuse to feel sorry for myself, but to remember how much it is worth it.
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I had a happy and fulfilled life before my daughter entered this world. I don’t believe that not having children means a life of unimportance. But I think what makes motherhood feel so important, is the self-sacrifice that sounds so intimidating before it comes into play.
It’s natural to worry that we are too selfish to raise children, or too comfortable in our way of life. But what is also natural, and what I found surprising, is the desire that comes along with having a child: the natural instinct to give your last drop of blood for her well-being, if it should come to that; and since it usually doesn’t come to that, everything less than that has the potential to be pure joy.
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I know there will be days when I want to throw in the towel, or run away, or have a mere five minutes to take care of my own needs. But from the first contraction of childbirth, my body started screaming: this is not about you. The world is so much bigger, and our jobs as moms are so much bigger, than we could ever realize. Motherhood is a large career that requires every resource available to us—our creativity, our physical strength, our mental clarity, our literal bodies. This job that seems overwhelming, to say the least, some days, is overwhelming because it is so gigantic, not because it is minute. In fact, it is even more gigantic than we can ever know. And if we can rest in that truth, and are willing to live up to the challenge, there is comfort to be found in it. ✴
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Photo Diary The Life of a Mom WORDS & IMAGES BY BRIANNA HEILIGENTHAL
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I spent the majority of my late teens and early 20s in self destruction. My insecurities guided all of my decisions, which resulted in some pretty poor ones. If someone had told me that by the time I was 23 I'd be married with a baby, I would've laughed in their face. As fate would have it, that's exactly what happened.
Today, at almost 25, I count my blessings instead of counting calories. I'm a stay-at-home-mom to our 16 month old son, Leo. He has changed the way I see pretty much everything. The little moments have become the big ones, and his existence inspired me to start capturing all of them.
We brought him home from the hospital to our 400 square foot apartment. It was dark and cramped, but it was what we could afford at the time. The days got long and lonely cooped up there and I didn't have many people to connect with. None of my friends had kids yet and I found it hard to relate to them being in such different walks of life.
When Leo was a few months old, I started fiddling around on Instagram and dove headfirst into the mom community. Along with making friends, Instagram sparked an interest in photography. I wanted to document the little moments in our days in a compelling way, and this was a way to do that. Taking pictures and improving a skill helped me get through the long days in our little apartment. There wasn't much opportunity for photos in our one-window unit, which forced me to get out of the house and find beauty elsewhere. For example, Target! HollAndLaneMag.com | 89
We were able to get a house shortly before Leo turned one. That greatly changed the course of our days. There are picture possibilities everywhere. I'm always testing new perspectives, lighting and angles. I like being able to see normal moments in creative ways.
We recently had my cat move back in with us, which sparked a photo series called #talesofleoandtoby. Since Leo doesn't have a sibling yet, I love that he has a furry friend to play with. Toby also adds another variable to photos, which can be a challenge but makes for extra sweet moments.
I love experiencing things through my son's eyes. I've lived in Minnesota my whole life, and I swear there has never been a fall more beautiful than this past one. I want his unmatched wonder to translate into my photos. I want to always remember him running through the leaves for the first time yelling "wow, wow!"
Having Leo has helped normalize my relationship with food, too. His instincts guide when, what and how much he eats, which is how I always want my children to view food. I always say, I might have given him life, but he's the one who saved mine.
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I used to think you had to go to an exotic place to see beauty, but isn't true at all. Having a child has taught me that beauty is everywhere, even in the messy moments. And I don't want to forget a moment of our beautiful, messy life.
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The Truth About Working Mothers Being a working mom is a tough job. Not only are you spending the majority of the week away from your child, but finding that work/life balance becomes increasingly difficult. We talked with four working mothers about what it’s like in the United States. PRODUCED BY SARAH HARTLEY
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Katie, 33
Attorney – Assistant Public Defender, Rochester NY Kids' Names and Ages: Lucas, 1 ½ Were you provided with maternity leave from your company? How long were you off work to have the baby? I was able to take 6 weeks off using sick leave, and then I used 10 weeks of vacation that I had saved up over time, so I was off for 4 months. My vacation time doesn’t accrue that quickly though, so I’m not sure how I’d do it again if I have another baby! How old was your child when you went back to work? 4 months old Who watches your child(ren) while you work? He is now at an in-home daycare with an older woman in our neighborhood who watches 2 other children. He was originally in a daycare center, but he never napped well there since he was always interested in what the other babies were doing! We had a lot of issues with nighttime sleep that resolved once we moved him into the more low-key daycare setting where all the kids have a long quiet afternoon nap at the same time. Did you consider staying home instead of going back to work? If yes, what made you decide to go back to work? Not really. I have a ton of student loans from law school, and as long as I work in public service, I get assistance in paying them back. If I quit my job, I’d still owe more than $100K and have no way of paying off the loans! Every so often we talk about my husband staying home with Lucas, but so far he has continued at his fulltime job too. Is your company flexible with time off for your children's appointments or activities? Do they have any built in programs to help working mothers? My employer gives us all a lot of flexibility in our work hours, but most days I am scheduled to be in court by 9:30 in the morning,
and it often can run until 4:30 in the afternoon. But I have a bit of control over my schedule, so if I know I have a pediatrician appointment coming up, I won’t schedule court that morning, and if my son gets sick, I have a lot of wonderful coworkers who would cover my cases in court if I needed to stay home or leave early. What is the most difficult part about being a working mom? So many things! The days when I have jury trials scheduled and have to stay late into the evening to prepare are stressful, although knowing that my husband is able to pick up our son and do the evening routine and put him to bed if necessary is great (I can’t imagine how single moms do it!). Leaving him in the mornings at daycare has definitely gotten a lot easier as time has gone on, especially seeing him get so excited to see his friends and the daycare provider every morning. I think the hardest thing is feeling that I have to make the most of my evenings and weekends with him, but also trying to fit in all the normal mundane stuff (like errands and cleaning the house) that I never gave much thought to in my pre-children life. I struggle with feeling like I’m being “present” enough with him when I’m also trying to take care of the basics of keeping the household running smoothly! How do you balance work with time with your kid(s)? I try my best to get all of my work done between 9-5. I work in a very social office and there are many afternoons where lots of coworkers will gather in one person’s office and talk about their cases or their day in court, and it is hard not to get swept into that. Before I had a baby, I wouldn’t think twice about chatting during work hours and then staying an hour or two later in the evening to catch up, but now I really have to push myself to stay focused and get everything done efficiently so I can leave by 5. One of my coworkers told me when I was pregnant that I would be surprised at how efficient a worker you become once you have kids at home, and I’ve found it to be very true! Have you been subject to any backlash from your community regarding you working full-time and not staying home with the kids? No, definitely no backlash, and I think my own mother would be very disappointed in me if I quit my job to stay home! There are many times when I’ve gotten jealous seeing stay-at-home-momfriends on social media, spending all this time with their babies and toddlers and having weekday adventures, and I have to remind myself that I get the benefit of talking to other adults for 8 hours a day! Do you have any messages for other working moms? Try to enjoy all the time that you DO get to spend with your children as much as possible, even if it is just relaxing at home on the couch doing nothing. And on the particularly hard days, remind yourself of all the benefits your children are getting from having a working mama – socialization and new experiences at daycare, special bonding with dad or grandparents or other caregivers, and a mom who works hard and has an identity and passion outside of the home!
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ment was only for 6 weeks. I then decided to use two weeks of my pay to stay home when I discovered I was still eligible for state disability. So I went on SSD for 6 weeks. I stayed home for 12 weeks. When we have our next I'll only be eligible for the 6 and any extra will be my own personal leave. How old was your child when you went back to work? He was 3 months old. Who watches your child(ren) while you work? When I first went back my spouse was home for a month. She had better leave than I did and I'm the one who carried the child. Then we had an in home nanny for 2.5 months. He then went to a daycare facility that we hated. Since last October he's been at a great in home daycare. Did you consider staying home instead of going back to work? If yes, what made you decide to go back to work? No, it was not financially feasible. Is your company flexible with time off for your children's appointments or activities? Do they have any built in programs to help working mothers? They are flexible for the most part, but I still have a job to do which could mean earlier work days or late nights. There is no built in program. What is the most difficult part about being a working mom? Being away from my child and knowing I miss seeing milestones. My days are long with my commute and some days I'm just tired and I feel bad that he does not always get me at 100% How do you balance work with time with your kid(s)? Still learning. But Saturdays me and my guy attend a gym class for an hour and I try to devote my weekends to time with him. Occasionally I need me time but for a majority of the time I'm with my little man.
Shanna, 33
Have you been subject to any backlash from your community regarding you working fulltime and not staying home with the kids? Not out right. I do find it hard to make friends. I live in a well off area and a lot of mom's stay home so it's hard. I find it hard to find activities on the weekends or in the evenings. Lots of groups and activities are geared towards stay at home moms.
Were you provided with maternity leave from your company? How long were you off work to have the baby? Yes, I took maternity leave and was able to use State Disability and personal leave to supplement my lost income. It was complicated because I was new to management at the time so the state supple-
Do you have any messages for other working moms? Support one another. Don't judge other moms. It's hard balancing work and motherhood. Plus, you may not know the reasons behind the mom working, so don't assume. Just support and uplift mothers. Being a mom whether you work inside the home or out is a tough job. We need to be a supportive community.
State Government, Admistration, Mid Level Management. Kids' Names and Ages: Dylan, 20 months
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Vanessa, 37
Part owner of an Ameriprise Financial practice with husband Mic Kids' Names and Ages: Xavier, 4 Were you provided with maternity leave from your company? How long were you off work to have the baby? At the time of my pregnancy we did not own our practice, but were still a small business. They had never had anyone in the office that needed maternity leave so it was a new experience. Being a small business we had to make our own rules. I ended up taking just 6 short weeks off with pay. How old was your child when you went back to work? My little guy was just 6-7 weeks old. Who watches your child(ren) while you work? For the first 6 months after I went back to work my mother-in-law watched Xavier every day. After that we enrolled him in a local daycare 3-4 days a week. He currently attends a local preschool 5 days a week where he stays all day for after care. Did you consider staying home instead of going back to work? If yes, what made you decide to go back to work? Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option for us and still isn’t at this time. Is your company flexible with time off for your children's appointments or activities? Do they have any built in programs
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to help working mothers? Now being the owners of our own business there is lots of flexibility for appointments, sickness, or field trips. No programs since we are so small. What is the most difficult part about being a working mom? Trying to figure out when to get things done like laundry, dishes, cleaning the house, etc. Xavier still hasn’t gotten the hang of playing by himself too well. How do you balance work with time with your kid(s)? I try to make sure we have dinner together every night, and that we do at least one thing on the weekend that he would enjoy. Even if that is just sitting at home on a Friday night and ordering pizza. Have you been subject to any backlash from your community regarding you working full-time and not staying home with the kids? No backlash at all. Unfortunately, I have noticed that the community that I live in is primarily SAHM’s so most of the programs for his age are during the day. And because I work full-time I am not able to join any of the Mommy & Me groups. Do you have any messages for other working moms? Try not to compare yourself or your relationship with your children to stay at home moms and their kids. Every family situation is different. Know you are doing the best you can for your children. This is advice that I try very hard to remember.
very flexible job and he gets the kids ready and takes them to school the majority of mornings. What is the most difficult part about being a working mom? Time management is the hardest thing for me to figure out. I constantly feel like I'm in a state of playing catch-up on my To Do list, and the ever present "dream To Do list" (i.e. I will start on this when I get my daily/weekly stuff done) just keeps getting longer without anything getting crossed off. I'm sure this isn't unique to being a working mom, but it's certainly what gives me the most stress. Unfortunately, I often cope with it by doing fun stuff with my family instead and putting off the chores because I feel too overwhelmed to tackle my To Do list. This only compounds the problem!
Cari, 40
Oculoplastic Surgeon Kids' Names and Ages: Elleana, 4.5, Collin 2 Were you provided with maternity leave from your company? How long were you off work to have the baby? I am a partner in a private group practice of 4 doctors. Our practice gives 6 weeks of paid maternity leave to all moms, and employees can take longer unpaid time if they choose. I took 3 months off with both of my children. Because I am a partner/owner rather than an employee, I technically don't get paid when I'm not working, since I am not bringing in any revenue. How old was your child when you went back to work? Both of my children were 12 weeks old. Who watches your child(ren) while you work? I am really lucky that we have a wonderful daycare that both of my kids love. Did you consider staying home instead of going back to work? If yes, what made you decide to go back to work? Because of the small private practice group that I work in, it wasn't really an option for me. It would put a significant burden on my partners, requiring them to hire someone else to replace me if it were for longer than three months. Regardless, because my mom also worked outside the home when I was growing up, and she always put such a strong emphasis on my education, I honestly don't know that I ever really considered not working. Is your company flexible with time off for your children's appointments or activities? Do they have any built in programs to help working mothers? I am very fortunate on this front for two reasons. My work days generally start early and therefore end early, so I am usually able to schedule routine appointments or activities after that. I am also able to dictate to some degree when my days end, so I can schedule an early day if necessary. I am also fortunate because my husband has a
How do you balance work with time with your kid(s)? Again, I am more fortunate than many, in that some of my work hours are when they are still asleep or doing menial things, so I don't feel that I am missing as much high quality time as some. What I think is hard is trying to restrain myself from showering them with attention and activities when I am with them in an effort to make up for lost time. I of course want to spend as much time as I can with them, but I also want them to learn the skill of playing independently and creating their own fun using their imagination rather than me planning yet another outing or activity to occupy every moment of our time together. I try to do one "activity" (museum, zoo, party etc) with them per weekend and the rest of the time I like to split by going with them either on a walk to the woods or playground or doing a crafty or cooking activity and the other half of the time I make them play independently without giving them much direction. Have you been subject to any backlash from your community regarding you working full-time and not staying home with the kids? Not specifically. It's possible I am getting negative judgement by people I don't know personally, but I fortunately have not directly experienced this. Of course, if you read much at all on social media, you can quickly find yourself reading an article trying to make you feel bad for ANY choice you make as a parent (work vs not work, breast vs formula, sleep train vs attachment) so I basically just don't read beyond the first sentence of an article that looks like it's leading me down that path. I don't need the added stress! Do you have any messages for other working moms? Figure out what works best for you and your kids and try not to get caught up in what other moms (working or not!) are doing. It's hard not to compare yourself to your peer group of moms. Remember that for every struggle you have as a working mom, there are a thousand other moms having the exact same struggle who you would also consider awesome moms. And for every struggle you have, remember that there are stay at home moms who have equally challenging struggles that you don't have to deal with.
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TRAVEL
Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Golden Gate Bridge While there could be a whole Top 10 list devoted to viewpoints of the Golden Gate Bridge (also known as #thatsfbridge), one of locals' favorites has to be Battery Spencer—located in the Marin Headlands—for its impressive bird's-eye views. As is apparent from the picture, Karl—what locals have lovingly nicknamed the fog—is pretty omnipresent in the city, and adds a texture and mysteriousness to that otherwise classic Golden Gate Bridge shot. Can't make it up to the Headlands? Not to fret, there are plenty of other bridge viewing spots to choose from, like Fort Point, Marshall's Beach, Baker Beach, Land's End, and more!
The Most Instagrammable Places In
San Francisco WORDS & IMAGES BY JENNIFER LERNER
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The Presidio The sight of a former military base, the Presidio is also known for the plentiful, towering trees that extend throughout this beautiful space. Go during golden hour; the light soaking through the trees will leave your photo audience with their jaws dropped. Bonus: check out Andy Goldworthy's Wood Line art installation for more Instagrammable places in the Presidio.
The Rainbow Sidewalk of the Castro The Castro is home to many LGBT and LGBT-friendly businesses and residents, and you don’t have to go too far to see the rainbow flag or rainbow colors. The rainbow sidewalk on 18th St. and Castro St. is quintessential SF and not to be missed.
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Coit Tower One of the things that makes San Francisco so special (in a long, long list of things) is the numerous views it offers of the cityscape. Coit Tower's views span all the way from the Bay Bridge to the Transamerica Pyramid to the Golden Gate Bridge, and beyond. Other equally incredible viewpoints of the city to check out: Twin Peaks, Bernal Heights, Corona Heights, Grandview Park, and the list goes on!
Painted Ladies If you want to relive some precious childhood memories, head over to the Painted Ladies—located just across the street from Alamo Square—to check out the houses made famous by Full House. No SF trip is complete without seeing these beautiful houses: they're colorful and Victorian, and exactly what you envision SF architecture to be.
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Sutro Baths Sutro Baths, located in the Outer Sunset neighborhood, is undeniably one of San Francisco's most popular destinations, and for good reason: with its massive rock formations, reflection pools, and foamy, crashing waves, it's a photographer's dream. Go in the evening for some prime front-row seats of San Francisco's dreamy sunsets. If you can't make a sunset trip, don't fret; as you can see, even during the daytime, it's basically impossible to take a bad picture here.
Golden Gate Park Over 1,000 acres, Golden Gate Park offers seemingly endless green space, and is one the most beloved parks of the city. It’s no wonder then that you’ll find yourself amidst hordes of fashion and engagement photoshoots here. Some highlights of the park include: the Japanese Tea Garden, Stow Lake, and the Conservatory of Flowers (pictured).
The Mission One of the most popular neighborhoods of SF, the Mission is a vibrant neighborhood with colorful buildings, beautiful street art, and delicious food. It's also one of the neighborhoods that gets the Sutro Forest most sunshine in the city. Check out the street art in the alleyways You can't do much better than an enchanted forest smack dab in off of 16th. St. and Valencia St., or walk down 24th St. for some the middle of the city. Go for the hiking, stay for the lush green sur- more beautiful street art displays. The Mission also houses Dolores roundings, tall trees, and milky fog. You'll feel like you were dropped Park (pictured)—a popular weekend picnicking spot—which boasts in the middle of Hogwarts, which is never a bad thing. swaying palm trees, sloping emerald hills, and impeccable views of the city's skyline.
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Mount Davidson One of the best-kept semi-secrets of the city, Mount Davidson is essentially only known by local photographers and longtime residents. Enjoy stunning city views and quaint hiking trails with an ambience similar to that of Sutro Forest. No Mount Davidson romp is complete without capturing #thatsftree (pictured). The best time to go is in the morning, when Karl (the fog) tends to drop in and say hello.
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f i L e l p m i S e Th
e r t s r i a n a n i g n i r o l p x e + g livin
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eam
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aybe you’ve seen those “Adorable Tiny House” biographies reposted on Facebook, or perhaps you’ve thumbed through a recent issue of Better Homes and Gardens, featuring the utopian biography of fashionable wanderers who spend romantic evenings wrapped in ethically sourced wool blankets and bathe in natural hot springs. I eat these stories up like a hot fudge sundae. The pictures, the sunlight, the strategically placed Birkenstocks. Let me be clear that I adore these folks (who apparently are part human, part offspring of Mother Nature herself ). I honestly attempt to emulate them, and I genuinely expected life on the road to be like what I saw in my Instagram feed. I hate to disappoint you, but I am not one of the aforementioned gypsy souls. >>
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Allow me to introduce myself:
I’m Olivia, and my husband and I travel with a labrador and a toddler, in an 180 square-foot vintage Airstream trailer that happens to be over a half century old. The Airstream part of that equation qualifies me for the ultra-hip nomad crowd, but let me tell you there is nothing idyllic about breaking your 50 year old sewer attachment and having poo-water leak out of your “home” because no modern RV dealer carries a replacement. The A/C goes out, I spend dozens of hours polishing the aluminum exterior, and my four year old sleeps about 32 inches from my head. There have been days we have driven for 15 hours straight. Sometimes our windows leak, and yes, we have spent the night in the parking lot of Wal Mart. I just want to be honest. Living a simple, small life on the road has been nothing like what I thought it would be. Let me back up: Before we sold everything to live debt free and travel the U.S, we had a lot. We’d worked hard to reach the coveted “six figures”, invested, and bought lots of things, stuff, and more things. I’m not going to detail how materialistic I was, because honestly, reading about how my trailer leaks poo-water is a lot more interesting. Long story short, we reached a breaking point, decided to make a major change and hit the road. I thought replacing one “picture perfect” life with another “picture perfect” life would somehow solve my problems. I quickly learned that the issue wasn’t what I was doing with my life, it was the expectations that I placed on myself and my insatiable desire to please and impress others. So there I was, three months in to living on the road, not yet having mastered the wanderlust-drenched fabulousness of this lifestyle. Thankfully, my husband is an extremely logical person, who shared his infinite wisdom with me one night. The Cliff Notes of the conversation went like this: “Olivia. You are ruining this experience because you care too much about achieving perfection, and that prevents you from being present and enjoying the moment.” It was a face-palm moment that has completely changed my outlook. I’ll say it again: Living a simple, small life on the road has been nothing like what I thought it would be. And that’s ok.
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I never thought I would see the sun set over the red rocks of Zion, or swim in the crystal clear waters of Glacier National Park. I never thought I would share a home with wild animals in the quiet forest, use generators for power, or pack in my water supply. I never thought I would stand among the tall trees of the Redwoods, or spend days with no cell reception, internet or TV, just talking with my husband about our dreams and watching our daughter roast marshmallows in the fading light. I never thought that I’d make friends all over the country, and immerse myself in so many different ways of life. I could have never imagined the power of these moments, large and small. Yes, I was completely unprepared for the reality of living on the road, but I’ve learned to embrace this uncertainty and just live in the moment. So, when tasked with writing an article of what full-time RV travel is like, I have no concrete answer. Some things are consistent. I wake up to the smell of my husband’s coffee and him reading his bible on the edge of our bed each morning. Some things are ever-changing, we rarely spend more than a few nights in the same place and I can’t plan past the week because our itinerary changes almost daily. There is a lot of information on the internet about how to create a tiny home or renovate a vintage trailer. You can seek out dozens of blogs and social media accounts dedicated to the beauty and novel of a nomadic lifestyle, but what I’d like to share is that life in 180 square feet can be incredibly challenging. I believe that living on the road is equal parts bucolic and demanding. If it’s as difficult as it is rewarding, why do we do it? Why is the tiny-house/wanderlust phenomena sweeping the nation? For me, this has been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to let go of material things and begin to release myself from perfectionism and societal expectations. In layman terms: I’m retuning to being “me”. I believe God gave me this opportunity to experience more than wearing tribal printed maxi skirts and photographing breathtaking landscapes…it’s been a chance to live completely free of the things that weigh me down and discover how to embrace the meaningful things in life, whether it’s in a house, a trailer, on the beach, in the mountains….or the parking lot of Wal Mart.
And that’s what full-time RV travel is like, folks. ✴
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Regular Contributors
Click on any name below to find our contributors around the web!
AMY COOK, Books Wife and mother by day, nerdy bookworm by night. Her superpower is substitute teaching middle schoolers. Lover of wine, literature, pie, and all things Gone With The Wind.
ERICA MUSYT, Movies Erica is a 30-something Virginia native who is passionate about family, friends, and the movies! She buys books faster than she reads them, loves ladybugs and all things purple. A movie star at heart, Erica is delighted to be a contributor to the Holl and Lane movie section!
MICAH CHAPLIN, Music By day, Micah works in the insurance industry, but she’s also a part-time librarian and bartender. She is an author and blogger with a passion for baseball, music, and craft beer. A native Iowan, she goes to more concerts than movies and occasionally serves as merch girl for musicians passing through her city.
IVY O, Beauty Singer, blogger and recovering perfectionist, Ivy is also French grade school teacher by day who has a shameless affinity for all things fashion, beauty, food, photography and pockets. You’ll most likely find her browsing her favourite clothing and beauty stores at her local mall, or with her nose in a good book and a soy latté in hand.
MEGAN DECKER, Style Megan and her husband live in Portland with their amazing dog, Rico. She has worked in fashion for the last 10 years and lives and breathes it. Other aspects of life that she has a passion for are: exploring new restaurants, music, outdoor activities, traveling, animals and community involvement.
KELLY AGNEW, Recipes Millennial, yoga enthusiast, flexitarian, healthy eater and exercise addict. Kelly is a marketer by day and a lifestyle blogger by night. She is passionate about inspiring women to take control of their lives by balancing nutrition, exercise and general well-being. She shares her stories in hopes to inspire others to live holistically and fully.
CHRISTINE CONTANTSIMARD, Recipes
JENNA SHOLINDER, RHN, Recipes
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Christine is currently studying to be a Pastry Chef at San Francisco Cooking School. Once she graduates, she hopes to work somewhere in Europe. Last year, Christine and her husband moved from Ottawa, Canada to San Francisco, California.
Jenna Sholinder lives outside Vancouver in Mission BC. She is surrounded by farms and fresh produce which is often reflected in her recipes. Jenna is an Registered Holistic Nutritionist and received her Registered Holistic Nutritionist designation from the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition. She runs her food blog as well as a general nutrition practice with an interest in pre-natal health.
CATHERINE SHORT, Recipes
EDEN COIRO, Fitness Eden Coiro is a fitness professional voted “Boston’s Best Exercise Instructor” by The Improper Bostonian, and winner of “Best Fitness For Moms” by Boston’s A-List. As a mother of three children under three she finds creative ways to stay fit, involve her children in her healthy lifestyle and keep a positive outlook on the three-ring-circus that is her life.
SARAH WISSINGER, DIY Sarah is a project assistant by day and blogger by night. She co-authors The Surznick Common Room blog with boyfriend, Nick, where they share DIY projects, delicious recipes, home decor, budget-friendly fashion, favorite books, and more! You can find her singing and dancing at a concert or binge-watching a Netflix show!
KRYSTAL KRISTIANSEN, DIY Krystal is a self-proclaimed DIY addict, Wife and Mama from Atlantic Canada. She loves comfy, lived in spaces, appreciates a good cup of coffee and isn’t afraid of a little (or a lot) of colour in her designs! When she’s not at the park with her handsomes, she’s in the workshop, or blogging projects at mintygreendream. com.
JESS DOWNEY, DIY Jess Downey is a freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, stationery store owner, and DIY-er. She’s a former Brooklynite who now lives in the Midwest with her husband and dog, Brooklyn. Most days you can find her creating crafts and tasty food and drinks and writing on her lifestyle blog, Chaotic & Collected. On other days, she’s pinning things to cook or craft, eating bacon, drinking beer, or watching Food Network.
NICOLE BEDARD Photographer
MOLLY WANTLAND Photographer
STEPHANIE LAGERMANN Photographer
Lifestyle blogger, full-time adventurer and amateur baker. In her blog, a short blonde, she shares musings on life, style, adventures in gluten-free baking and beyond. She strives to live more graciously than yesterday and to grow in her faith each day. For Catherine, it’s important to stretch her mind, travel far and always have a stash of dark chocolate.
Nicole is a Commercial, Editorial and Lifestyle Photographer focusing on Family and Children. She began her photography career in the sports/ fitness industry, which has provided her a unique skill set to capture quick playful moments and fun facial expressions of energetic little ones.
Molly is a family and portrait photographer in Middle Tennessee, with a love for family, friends, and Oldies music. Her intent in each session is to photograph real personalities, genuine emotions, and those ‘small moments’ that make life so sweet!
Stephanie is a self-taught photographer who enjoys capturing life in her lens. Aside from photography she enjoys bookstores and collecting coffee mugs. She is also slightly obsessed with her dog, Walter.
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issue Contributors
Click on any name below to find our contributors around the web!
EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS
Tabitha Keese, Crafty Hideaway
PHOTO CONTRIBUTORS
Raven Roxanne, H&L Girl
Ruby Tuesday, Inside the Mind of an Addict
Cover Photo - Shelby Larios
Meg Logan, Au Naturale Shauna Mae Diliberto, Vintage Shop Like a Pro Lynne Knowlton, Homeward Bound Kandace LaLande, Mini Makeover Geneya Terlouw & Karen Bazja, Mini Makeover Carrie Nardini, Career Profile Christine Elliott, Inside the Interior Nicole Bedard, Ten Tips for Better Photos Heather Poulin, Workout Spotlight Kathy Westergaard, Stuck in a Food Rut Molly Wantland, Blueberry Banana Smoothie Rachel MacKay, Chocolate Chunk Beet Cookies Rosalind Saso, Infinity Scarf 114 | Holl & Lane, Issue 5
Adaena Tray, Let’s Yomance! Meg McLemore, Making Strides for Shaun
Page 8 - Stephanie Lagermann Page 12 - Stephanie Lagermann Page 20 - Nicole Bedard
Dwayne Gresik, Student Spotlight
Page 30 - Stephanie Lagermann
Jenny Williams, Gigantic Task of Motherhood
Page 40 - Nicole Bedard
Brianna Heiligenthal, Photo Diary Life as a Mom Katie Higgins, Truth About Working Mothers Shanna Everts, Truth About Working Mothers Vanessa Roberts, Truth About Working Mothers Cari Lyle, Truth About Working Mothers Olivia Berg, The Simple Life Jennifer Lerner, Most Instagrammable Places
Page 43 - Nicole Bedard Page 62 - Nicole Bedard Page 73 - Nicole Bedard Page 79 - Molly Wantland Page 85 - Stephanie Lagermann Page 93 - Nicole Bedard Page 99 - Nicole Bedard Page 114 - Molly Wantland
#mystoryispowerful Each moment of your day captures a portion of your story. And we believe all stories are powerful. We want to share in your life so tag your photos with #mystoryispowerful to be featured in the magazine and on our Instagram account!
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