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ENTERTAINMENT, 9 10 On Our Bookshelf 11 Ten Songs on Following Your Passion 12 Ten Movies on Following Your Passion STYLE & BEAUTY, 13 14 Product Spotlight 15 Wardrobe Remix 18 Spring 2016 Trends INTERIORS, 22 23 Spring Cleaning Kickstart 24 Outta This World Nursery BUSINESS, 30 31 How to Take Better Headshots 32 Career Profile : Social Media and Music 34 I Quit My Job to Follow My Passion FOOD & FITNESS, 39 40 Raising Kids “Right” 47 Workout Spotlight : Booty Barre 48 Yoga Moves for Beginners 53 Mango Mint Smoothie 54 Quino Black Bean Burger 56 Peanut Ginger Soba Noodle Salad 58 Healthy Creamy Dill Sauce 60 Lemon Shortbread Squares DIY, 63 64 Laundry Basket Upcycle 65 Paint Dipped Succulent Planters 66 Watercolor Greeting Cards 68 Twig Coasters LIFE STORIES, 69 70 Discovering My Talent 72 Stand Against Domestic Violence 74 Divorced at Age 30 76 Student Spotlight: The Man Who Forgot to Raise Me FAMILY, 78 79 I’m Sorry, There’s No Heartbeat 83 Photo Diary: Being a Mom 90 Single Mom of Four TRAVEL, 92 93 Best US Travel Sites 98 Most Instagrammable Places in Zermatt Switzerland 2 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
IN EVERY ISSUE 5 Editor’s Note 6 Reader’s Notes 7 Team Obsessions 8 Holl & Lane Girl 104 Regular Contributors 106 Issue Contributors
OUTTA THIS WORLD NURSERY
QUINOA BLACK BEAN BURGER
STAND UP AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
I’M SORRY ... THERE’S NO HEARTBEAT
When planning for the arrival of a little one, often one of the most exciting parts is decorating the nursery. Alaina designed a space themed nursery that will fit her new son both now and far into the future.
It happens to one in three women. One in three women are abused in a domestic violence situation. After Robin lost her sister at the hands of her brother-in-law, learn what she’s doing now to ensure it doesn’t happen to others.
This burger, based on Nashville’s Burger Up recipe had us drooling as soon as we saw it. Perfect for your next Meatless Monday dinner, add in the maple ketchup and a pile of fries and dig in!
It’s the club that you never want to join- the group of one in four women whose pregnancy ends in miscarriage. We talk with Bridget who has suffered through the devastation and learn just how she coped through it all.
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I S S U E S I X | MA R C H / A P R I L 20 16 SARAH HARTLEY Creator, Editor In Chief KIMIKO MAINPRIZE Assistant Editor AIRE PLICHTA REESE Fashion Branding Specialist
MIA SUTTON Editorial and Social Media Coordinator
JESS DOWNEY Social Media Coordinator MEGAN DECKER Advertising Executive STEPHANIE BARCHETTI Public Relations Specialist
I J L
For advertising inquiries, please email advertising@hollandlanemag.com for our media kit. For press and promotion inquiries, please email stephaniebarchetti.pr@gmail.com For contribution inquiries, please email stories@hollandlanemag.com, or check our website for Contributor Openings.
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EDITOR’S NOTE
P
assion is at the very heart of what we try to accomplish at Holl & Lane. Passion in telling your stories, passion in trying to change the conversation, passion to inspire you. And it is with passion that we began this journey that has been wrought with tears, frustrations and heartache. It’s with passion that we celebrate each issue and the excitement that comes from a reader telling us how much a story meant to her. Each moment spent working on H&L is filled with passion. We all work tirelessly on this project as volunteers, with no compensation for the hours upon hours that go into this brand and that is becasue of our passion for this project. We know we’re making a difference, we know we’re starting a conversation, and we know that you need this as much as we do.
We talk to women each day about their stories, and each time you can feel their passion to make a difference, even if they aren’t sure yet just how to do that. In this issue we talked with a woman who lost a sister to domestic violence, who has found her new platform in life to make sure this same fate doesn’t happen to someone else. We talk with a woman who quit her day job to puruse her passion and through it she is changing the lives of entreMAKEUP AND PHOTO BY TAMIE KONZIER preneurs all over the world with her advice and insight. And we talk with a woman who is opening up about suffering through two miscarriages. She is taking the most painful part of her history and sharing it because she knows it has the chance to align her with others who have been through it- to let them know that they are not alone. Each of the women in this issue inspires us and renews our passion in different ways, whether they share mouth-watering recipes, or share new trends and interior style. Each of these women have passion. Each of these women have a purpose. And we’re so thrilled to get to share them with you. We hope you feel their passion through these pages. Yours, Sarah Hartley, Editor-in-Chief
My Current Obsessions JBrand, Eva Wide Leg Jeans, $115 Wide leg jeans are my newest obsession. I’m finding myself drawn to them more and more over my collection of skinny jeans for the sheer comfort level.
Target, Linen Lamp Shade, $8 I love how quickly something as simple as a lampshade can change up the look of the room. I love the barely-there texture on this one, too.
Old Navy, Leopard Print Chelsea Ankle Boots, $37 I have a leopard print shoe addiction, but I have yet to find any little booties that I like... until now. Plus, I love the price tag!
Baublebar, Future Layered Necklace, $48 I’m a sucker for delicate jewels, especially ones that can be layered like this!
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READER’S NOTES This new issue came at the perfect time. I lost a close friend and coworker to suicide 4 weeks ago yesterday. As I finished the article on addiction yesterday I thought "I wish they'd do an article on suicide". I flipped the page and there it was. Weird huh?? Anyway, Shaun sounds exactly like my friend. Always thinking of others, making you laugh, would give you the shirt off her back, you name it, she'd do it for you. The organization that Shaun's family put together sounds great and I'm definitely going to look it up. Everyone is alway so hush hush about suicide and it's so hard for those left behind. So I just wanted to say a huge thank you for shining a light on a subject that affects more people than we realize. - Kristin
I have been loving each and every issue. You are doing something very special, Sarah! I'm so glad to be a (very small!) part of it! - Molly
Finished reading this issue of Holl & Lane last night and wanted to let you know it was another fabulous issue. Keep rocking because I love it!!! - Margaux
I love the story of your magazine! Honest, raw, real stories are what we need in our shiny, pinterest-perfect world! No one wants to talk about how they feel lessthan, or even comment publicly how they feel the same way. - Kate
You share such empowering stories, I love that so much about this magazine. - Shelby
Hello there! I just wanted to let you know I just finished issue 5. That was very well done. I loved the article about the tree houses and a lot of the recipes. Also, your music selection turned me on to some new stuff and some new reads. Thanks so much! - Sandra
Have something you want to tell us? Email editor@hollandlanemag.com! 6 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
Corrections
In our Issue 5 Workout Spotlight, we mistakenly referred to Pole Fitness as Pole Aerobics. The images in that article were by Lynda Allen. www.brassbutterflies.com In our Issue 5 list of issue contributors, we mistakenly misspelled Karen Bajza’s last name. http://weatheredwarehouse.com We regret the errors.
TE AM O B S E S S I O NS W E A DM I T I T, W E G E T OBS E S S E D, TO O. C H E C K O U T W H AT W E ’R E L OVING NO W.
S’Well Bottle, $35 I love how whimsical it looks and the fact that it keeps my water ice cold for HOURS. It's also slim and compact, and oh so durable since its stainless steal. I'm a huge fan. - Kimiko, Assistant Editor
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, $9 She talks a lot about living in authenticity and just being who you are. It really resonated with me, especially in the “perfect Instagram” age we seem to be living in now. I highly recommend it! - Mia, Editorial & Social Media Coordinator Marquee Letters, $10 My sis-in-law bought them for us for Christmas and they are the coolest things ever. They look perfect sitting on our mantel. You can also hang them. What's awesome is they are battery powered and they run on a timer so they come on every night and then go off a few hours later. They help set the perfect little cozy ambiance for movie nights. - Jess, Social Media Coordinator
Nordstrom Plaid Blanket Scarves, $48 I'm loving blanket scarves. They're great for traveling in winter & you can use it as a blanket on chilly planes! - Stephanie, PR Specialist
Daily Burn, $12.99/mo It brings your workouts to you no matter where you are! I love that it offers new workouts every day (I'll never get bored) and also brings you options for different fitness levels and amount of time for each workout. For only $12.99 a month, I'm hooked. - Aire, Fashion Branding Specialist
Pravana Pure Light Shampoo, $20 Now that my hair is a silver/grey color, I am obsessed with Pravana, Pure Light-Brightening Shampoo. It keeps my color vivid and is cruelty free--which I look for in all my hair care and beauty products. - Megan, Advertising Executive
The H&L Girl Is: Creative, smart and capable, she is strong and uses her passions to help others. She enjoys being a part of something bigger than herself. She is innovative and professional but knows how to have a good time. The H&L Girl is modern, genuine and brave.
THE HOLL & LANE GIRL JILLIAN BREMER OF SWEET & SPARK “Nothing worth having comes easy.” Jillian Bremer, of the wildly successful curated vintage jewelry business, Sweet & Spark, has lived by this her whole life, since working with her father and grandparents growing up in a very small town in Western, New York (her high school mascot was a hillbilly!). Having worked in fashion and branding at companies like Gap, Inc. and American Eagle, Jillian took the leap three years ago to launch her own business after knowing she had more to offer. Though originally knowing nothing about vintage jewelry, her father, a longtime vintage jewelry hunter, taught her the ropes and together they curate a beautiful collection that has been featured everywhere from InStyle to The Zoe Report and The Everygirl. It’s safe to say this father-daughter duo is onto something with their eye for special pieces. In Her Words: “Success to me is about happiness and love. It’s the new things that I’m learning every day and connecting with inspiring people that fulfills me.”
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ENTERTAINMENT
“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.” - Hebbel
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WORDS BY AMY COOK
THE CHILDREN’S Press Here by Hervé Tullett What a delightfully fun and interactive book to read with your toddler or preschool aged child! This book starts out with a simple yellow dot on a blank white page and encourages the child (or children, if you are in the preschool and/or daycare business) to “press here.” The child presses and as each page turns the illustrations and instructions get more complex. This book encompasses six of the seven main learning styles; physical- touching the buttons, visual- reading and seeing the images, interpersonal- working with other children to follow the directions, logical- mathematics that include tapping the dot five times, intrapersonal- the child working alone and deciding what to do next, and verbal- all the reading aloud. A fun read for young children. THE NON-FICTION The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls Wow! Have you ever read a book that truly puts things into perspective for you? This memoir will do that and may even motivate you to take action for the better. Jeannette retells the story of her and her three siblings growing up in a state of horrible child neglect disguised as adventure. Told in the voice of Jeannette as a child, this story will make you wonder aloud how it is possible to become something when you have been let down time and time again. Walls gives the reader vivid snapshots of her life and family and allows you to run the gamut of emotions while you flip the pages. A story that could be described as a tragedy is also a tale of what loyalty to a family means and may pose the question: when does devotion to your parents have to end so that you do not self-destruct?
THE CLASSIC The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton This is the beautifully told tale of Lily Bart, a single woman living in New York in the 1920s. Lily lost her parents when she was young and has relied on the charity of family and friends to keep her afloat in the lifestyle which she has become accustomed to. Faced with the choice of marrying for money or finding a way for herself, Lily goes against the advice of friends and family alike as she follows her heart, and her gambling problems, into a downward spiral of despair. Viewing marriage to a wealthy man as a prison and her infatuation with the man perfectly suited to her as not profitable enough, Lily continues to entertain and spend money as though her future as a charming, young woman does not have an expiration date. Keep your thesaurus handy for this novel full of complicated prose, but it is a story intricately woven that keeps the reader’s interest. THE FICTION Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend by Matthew Dicks This is the story of Max, a little boy on the autism spectrum, and his best (imaginary) friend, Budo. Budo’s shelf life as an imaginary friend has almost reached its expiration date when something terrible happens to Max and it is up to Budo and the other imaginary friends to save him. A tale of heroism, faith, and friendship, Memoirs will have you wondering if imaginary friends are really imaginary or if they are as real to those in need of them as the people we see every day on our own journeys. Dicks weaves a magical tale of what it means to be a real friend and standing up for what is right, even when you will never get the credit for it. 10 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
Ten Songs on Following Your Passion WORDS BY MICAH CHAPLIN
Lunatic
Caravan
Eye on the Prize
Fire
Even If It Breaks Your Heart
Somethin’ Special
Andy Grammer A musician’s life is all about following the passion and the art, even though it means a bit of an unconventional path and schedule. Marc Broussard He grew up watching his father play in a band and was determined to follow in his footsteps. Will Hoge or Eli Young Band Will Hoge wrote this song about listening to music as a young man and realizing that’s what he wanted more than anything.
Rise
Rush The lyrics are all about ambition and pushing through to follow your dreams. Gavin Degraw The opening few lines do a great job of setting the tone – “Oh if there’s one thing to be taught, it’s dreams are meant to be caught.” Colbie Caillat This song was featured in the Beijing Olympics. “It takes time, but I’ll never let go. Days go by and I’ll try harder to make it mine, I know.”
Eddie Vedder This song appeared in the movie, “Into the Wild,” which is about a young man embarking on a journey into nature. The upbeat lyrics and melody inspire movement and persistence.
What Are You Waiting For
More
Happy
Usher “Best when under pressure, with seconds left I show up.” It’s a song about never quitting and giving everything you have.
My Red + Blue He reminds listeners that time is passing by and encourages them to go after what they want without delay. Leona Lewis “I can’t stand by the side and watch this life pass me by. So unhappy. But safe as could be.” HollAndLaneMag.com | 11
Top Ten Movies
On Following Your Passion WORDS BY ERICA MUSYT
The Motorcycle Diaries Based on the diaries of Ernesto Guevara this story follows him and friend Alberto Granado in their journey across South America during the summer of 1952. Their adventure was meant to be all fun and games, but as they made their way through the country, Guevara finds himself transformed by what he sees. The two men witness firsthand the poverty and injustice that so many are living in. This trip is what spurred Guevara’s passion for justice and fight for economic equality. Harold and Maude Harold, a 20 year old man obsessed with death, meets Maude, an 80 year old woman who is fun loving and eccentric, at a stranger’s funeral. They form an unusual bond that leads to a romantic relationship. In their time together, Maude teaches Harold the joy of life and that there is so much to be lived for in your time here on earth! Billy Elliot Billy Elliot discovers a dance class while on his way to a boxing lesson. Before he knows it he is taking dance classes and loving every minute of it. When his coal miner father finds out about Billy’s dance class, he forbids Billy to continue. Billy’s passion for ballet keep him going as well as the support from his instructor, Mrs. Wilkinson. When Billy’s father catches him dancing in the gym he realizes how talented his son really is. Through sacrifice, hard work, and support from those around him, Billy is able to make his dreams come true. Jiro Dreams of Sushi At 80 years old, Jiro Ono is still doing what he loves the most - making sushi. In this documentary you will see the sheer will and purpose that one man has put into his life and career. It will take your breathe away! Jiro is an amazing person who constantly works to improve himself not for money or fame, but for the joy of doing what he loves. The Pursuit of Happyness Christopher Gardner wants to be able to give his son everything the world has to offer. This is an inspirational true story about a man who takes on an unpaid internship at a brokerage company while living homeless and taking care of his five year old son. Gardner’s journey really puts things into perspective. Chris makes sacrifices for him and his son in order to be able to provide the best life he can in the end. This movie will inspire you to never give up on your dreams! Mr. Smith Goes To Washington Jefferson Smith is an optimistic, starry-eyed newcomer to the US Senate in Washington. In an effort to pass a bill that would dedicate land to a boy’s camp in his home state, Smith goes up against corporate America to fight for what he believes in and for what is right. 12 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
Dead Poets Society John Keating is the new teacher at an all boys prep school that is well known for their traditions and exceptionally high standards. Keating is a bit eccentric in his teaching, but he is able to get through to his students like know no one else has. As the students face everyday challenges and high pressure from their parents and the school, Keating brings the boys out of their shells and helps them to pursue their dreams. Julie and Julia Julie Powell is extremely unhappy at work and in order to spice things up a bit she challenges herself to prepare all 524 recipes in Julia Childs’ cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, in one year. As Julie cooks her way through the year we also see the true story of Julia Child and how she herself won over the French with her own passion and appetite for the world. Whiplash Andrew Neiman dreams of being at the top of his class at the music conservatory as a jazz drummer. Andrew is soon discovered by instructor Terence Fletcher and together they work to get Andrew to the top. Together with Fletcher’s terrifyingly unorthodox methods and Andrew’s passion for perfection his life is forever changed. The Rookie Jim Morris always dreamed of playing in major league baseball, but a shoulder injury soon ended his career as a pitcher. Now a father, husband, and high school teacher he is also coaching the varsity baseball team in Texas. When his students learn of his pitching abilities a deal is struck! If the team can win the district championship, then Jim will try out for the major leagues once again. This is a story that shows it’s never too late to chase your dreams.
STYLE / BEAUTY
“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be.” –T. Alan Armstrong HollAndLaneMag.com | 13
PRODUCT SPOTLIGHT
BECCA x JACLYN HILL SHIMMERING SKIN PERFECTOR® PRESSED – CHAMPAGNE POP
creating this look, in comes BECCA’s creation: Becca x Jaclyn Hill Shimmering Skin Perfector® in Champagne Pop (a soft whitegold with pinky peach undertones).
All your favourite beauty product stores and make-up artists/ bloggers have talked about the art of contouring (the utilization of make-up to enhance facial features/structure and give shape to the face) and there are many products out there that boast about giving you the best tools to execute this skill. However, if time is not something that you are able to spare too much of in the mornings, then the art of contouring can prove to be nearly impossible to accomplish.
It comes in a great little compact that contains a mirror and is of a creamy powder consistency. When swept over your cheekbones, brow bones, and used to highlight the bridge of your nose, it truly creates a natural glow that radiates in any kind of light, giving you that ever-coveted dewy and gorgeous skin-look. The reason why it’s so perfect is because it takes just a few sweeps to apply the highlighter, and it also works on any skin tone! Although it does not come with its own applicator or brush, any of your make-up brushes (a blush brush works just fine) can be used, or BECCA also offers ‘The One Perfecting Brush’ for $49.00 if you happen to fall in love with BECCA’s products after you pick up this exclusive highlighter ($38.00) at Sephora only.
WORDS & IMAGES BY IVY O
If you are looking to get that dewy, soft and glowing skin that you see on those gorgeous MUA’s on Instagram or on YouTube, but cannot be bothered to dedicate your whole morning (or day!) to 14 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
The LOOK for LESS : ACC E S S O R I E S WORDS & IMAGES BY MEGAN DECKER HollAndLaneMag.com | 15
Spring is just around the corner... Some of us though, live in areas where winter seems to stick around longer than we want it. If you (and the weather) are not quite ready for any of your Spring/ Summer outfits, then take inspiration from the runways and buy some new accessories as a way to transition your lighterwWinter pieces into fashionable looks. 16 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
Does your head ache for something new? Well take a nod from shows such as Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs and Gucci and find yourself a statement headband. If you decide not to wear prints or color one day, wearing one of these is a great way to add something special to your look. Whether it's covered in jewels or a funky metal it will be the perfect finishing touch to your outfit.
Maybe you are ready to lighten things up on your lower body--try on a pair of lace up shoes. Heeled or flat, they will look great with a variety of garments, from cropped denim to culottes to dresses. Just make sure not to wear something that will cover up the great detail of the laces. Have your ears been bare these last few months because you needed the space for a warm knit hat? Well remove your beanie and replace it with some "shoulder duster"
earrings. Forego a necklace or scarf when you wear these eye catchers--pair them with a light-weight sweater or turtleneck and let them shine. Accessorizing is a great inexpensive way to update or keep your outfits looking current. So if you want to save some money until the warmer months are truly here, check out what your favorite stores have in their Accessories, Shoes and Handbag departments. HollAndLaneMag.com | 17
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S P RIN G 2016 T R EN DS
WO RD S & ST Y LI NG B Y AI RE P LI CH TA REES E / / IM AG ES B Y EM I LY FACKLER REES E
(Opposite) They say bold is better, well that is especially the case when it comes to stripes this Spring! We say bring 'em on in fun retro colors, or unexpected combos. This typically classic print is getting a refresh for the Spring! HollAndLaneMag.com | 19
The year of the shoulder! Whether it's showing it off with an off the shoulder look or with a simple cutout, we know this body part will be getting a lot of attention in the months to come! Bonus, this style comes in one of Pantone's colors of the year for 2016!
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And in this historical year where Pantone graced us with not one, but two colors of the year this light pink shade is not be forgotten! Pair it with a fun whimsical bag and you'll look like you just stepped off the runway!
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INTERIORS
“There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.” -Federico Fellini
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“MISE EN PLACE”
The French saying often used in cooking means to set in place. Mise en place your cleaning supplies to make you much more efficient when tackling your spring cleaning. Having all your supplies with you when you enter the room you are cleaning will save you trips running to different areas of your home to gather things after the fact. Have a handled bucket ready with your glass cleaner, dust cloths, rags, paper towels, trash bags, sponges, squeegees, furniture polish, Clorox wipes, etc. that you can easily carry from one space to another.
EAT THAT FROG!
Brian Tracy’s book, Eat That Frog! addresses the topic of procrastination. Tackle projects you are dreading first. Hate cleaning windows, start there! Hate cleaning the oven, start there! Dread cleaning your closet, start there! By starting with the task you least enjoy, everything else will be smooth sailing from there.
START FROM TOP TO BOTTOM
Clean your rooms from the top of the room to the bottom. In your kitchen wipe down wall cabinets and move to countertops, and then base cabinets. Or in your bedroom, dust ceiling fans, window casings, and tall dressers, move to lower profile furniture, and then baseboards. This will help expedite your cleaning process and keep dust and dirt from falling onto areas you have already cleaned. This tip is especially important because it allows you to touch things once and keep moving!
PURGE!
DON’T GET OVERWHELMED
Tackle one project or room at a time! By breaking your spring cleaning into small, manageable projects you are setting yourself up for success. Start small with the junk drawer in your kitchen or a messy linen closet and work outwards. Focusing on one space at a time will make the best use of your energy, so that you aren’t running from one room to another and spinning your wheels.
MAKE A LIST
Make an outline of what you want to accomplish in the time you have to clean. Whether you have a few hours or a full weekend to spring clean your home, making a list will help you keep focused on the tasks that are most important to you. Crossing things off as you go will give you a visual reminder of how far you have come and help keep you motivated to continue.
RECRUIT HELP
Get your significant other or family members all involved in the spring cleaning process. Divide and conquer! The more people you have working on your to-do list the faster it will go.
DRESS COMFORTABLY
Throw your hair back and put on your most comfortable clothes that you don’t mind sweating in, getting bleach stains on, or getting dirty. Wear loose shirts and pants that allow you the ease to bend and climb in. Put on your most comfortable shoes, as you will be on your feet all day. You are going to be doing manual labor and your attire should reflect that.
Be brutal when cleaning out cabinets and closets. Clear out the clutter! Get rid of stained, broken, or unused items. A good rule of thumb is to trash, donate, or recycle items that you haven’t used in the last six months. It is easy to fall into the trap of holding onto items that have sentimental value or things you may someday fit into again. Passing on unused items is a great way to help someone in need; it also provides a financial incentive by way of a tax write off at the end of the year. Why are you holding on to all those stained Tupperware containers with no lids? Free up space in your cupboards or closets for items that bring you happiness and have a true function in your life!
DEEP CLEAN
Use your time spring cleaning to focus on areas that are often overlooked in your weekly cleanings. Take the opportunity to wash walls, baseboards, or steam clean carpets. These surfaces may not look like they need a good scrubbing, but you may be surprised how in need they were after you get started. Move your kitchen appliances and couches and clean underneath. Wash comforters and curtains that may have been neglected for the winter. Open those windows and get the fresh air flowing!
TAKE A BREAK
Lets face it, for most of us cleaning is not top on our list of fun ways to spend a Saturday. Reward yourself for completing an especially unpleasant task by taking a break to take your dog for a walk around the block, or crank up the music and take a dance break! By allowing yourself a few minutes to unwind you will return to your list of chores with new focus and get-up-and-go! WORDS & IMAGES BY SKYLAR BLACKWELL HollAndLaneMag.com | 23
an
OUTTA THIS WORLD nursery
WORDS & IMAGES BY ALAINA ISBOUTS
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S
ince the day we found out we were having another baby, we knew things had to change. Life change brought us out to Denver from Boston when our son Julian was just four months old. A couple months later we settled into life in a gorgeous, old home in the Highlands neighborhood. We were happy to be settled for good in our forever home with our sweet little boy.
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And then I got pregnant again.
For a little while, we thought we could make it work in the little old house we bought. But after considering some upgrades and the thought of going through construction during pregnancy, we decided to move. Again. But the new house had everything we needed for our family — including a big, empty room perfect for a nursery for the new baby.
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I had so much fun designing Julian’s nursery that I was really looking forward to designing another one. But once we found out we were having another boy, I realized I was kind of out of ideas. My husband and I are space nerds, and this time around, I kept coming back to the idea of a space-themed nursery. How could I do it so it wasn’t overdone, cheesy, and kept the modern aesthetic that Julian’s room had?
I started gathering inspiration where I had started the first time: on Society 6. Society 6 is a great website where you can buy art from artists all over the world that is produced in one central location, which pays the artist but also keeps costs low. I browsed their art prints, focusing on space themed prints, setting aside just the right pieces for a little boy’s room.
We went with modern looking art prints that aren’t too spooky (some of the art looked a little too mature for a little one’s room), focusing on a black, white, and grey aesthetic. The rest of the room was designed around the art that we picked out. I really enjoy mixing pieces from big, mainstream stores with items from smaller handmade shops. A few of the handmade shops featured in the nursery are Ivie Baby, Brim Papery, and The Bees Knees, along with pieces from Ikea and Land of Nod.
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The furniture was easy to pick out. We basically stuck with the same pieces we had picked for Julian’s room, but in darker colors. Same dresser, same kitchen cart that we use as a diaper cart, same night stand. We upgraded the rocking chair in Julian’s room to one we can eventually move into the living room, and moved the older rocking chair into the new nursery. Julian also got a big boy bed, and the crib — which happened to be grey and white — was moved in for the new baby. The tapestry was a last minute addition and I love it. The room really feels like what we wanted; something modern, calming, and perfect for a little boy to grow into. 28 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
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BUSINESS
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.� .-Maya Angelou
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HEADS UP!
Five Things to Know Before Taking New Headshots WORDS & IMAGES BY REBECCA JAFFE
1. Make a statement
Most professionals may want to wear business attire- a sharp suit, a smart looking, tasteful skirt and blazer. If this is going to be your outfit style choice, but you still want to show a little bit of personality, add a pop of color with a solid, bright tie or colorful blouse. Want something nice but more casual? Wear something that makes a statement and is authentic to your everyday style. You want your garments to accentuate, not distract. Try to stay away from overly complicated patterns or colors that wash you out.
2. Ditch the clown makeup
Remember Glamour Shots? By the time they were done with your hair, make up and clothes, you were unrecognizable! When you’re looking to make an impression on a potential employer, client or maybe even a date, be yourself. People appreciate genuineness more than glitz and glam. Plus, how else would someone recognize you? (“You look nothing like your picture I saw online!”) Headshots are meant to represent you authentically. So go for a fresh, clean, modern look, do your hair like you normally would if you were going on an interview/date/etc. The photographer is going to make sure your photos are fabulous so don’t fret!
3. Your Checklist
If there isn’t going to be a makeup artist or hair technician on scene for your session, make sure to bring your make up bag, mirror, brush, styling product, a couple of extra shirts (just in case) lint roller, tissues and most importantly a good attitude!
4. Shake it off
Being in front of a camera when you’re not accustomed can be nerve wracking for most people, and it can show through in your images. Don’t think of it as a hassle, think of it as an experience in self-expression. After all, your headshots are about YOU! It’s also important to work with a photographer who makes you feel comfortable and is professional at all times. If you don’t know one personally, hire a photographer who specializes in headshot and portrait photography. It will be worth your investment!
5. Location
Ordinarily, when you think of a headshot, you may think of the muslin backdops in the studio but the dynamics have changed – today many professionals are opting to taking it outside and on-location (especially those with online businesses.) If you want to showcase the city or town your business is located in, for example, you can set up a shot near a local landmark. If you have a vintage-inspired business, find an old building with a lot of character for your shoot. Always make sure you have permission of course. The options are endless!
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CAREER PROFILE
Addie Perkins
Social Media & Music, American Eagle Outfitters
INTERVIEW BY SARAH HARTLEY // IMAGES PROVIDED BY ADDIE PERKINS
You work in social media for American Eagle Outfitters, how did you get started? What are your overall job responsibilities? I started working for American Eagle Outfitters (AEO) about 5 years ago in the Human Resources department. I was responsible for on-boarding new hires and getting them acclimated to the AEO Culture. I had the pleasure of meeting and on-boarding our very first Social Media Manager. Before then, I never heard of someone doing Social Media for a company -- it was still fairly new. Intrigued, I set up time to speak with the Social Media Manager to learn about her role and before I knew it, I was shadowing her daily responsibilities, which eventually landed me a job in social media! My overall responsibilities range from partnering with bloggers, writing on the blog, and posting daily on Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest and other social media sites. I also work with cross-functional business partners to ensure that we’re getting creative assets on time and showcasing our best product for the season. Another fun thing I get to do for AEO is work on music for the company. I work on the in-store playlists and generate partnerships between musicians and the brand. I’ve been able to interview and attend some great shows on behalf of AEO. Social media is such a fast moving medium, how do you keep up? Do you work with a team to help you manage the various platforms? Social never stops! You’ve got to keep up with the latest platforms, tools and influencers. As much as I love working on social, it can be overwhelming too. Thankfully, I work with an amazing team.
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We’ve got someone who manages customer relations. She’s the one responding to customer’s complaints and general comments . I also have two fantastic bosses who help with the overall strategy behind AEO. We’re a small but mighty team of four, and I honestly couldn’t do my job without their help and support. What does a day on the job look like for you? I usually start the day checking emails and firing up Facebook, Instagram and various other programs that we use to help with our social posting. I scroll through our hashtag #AEOSTYLE for UGC (user generated content) that we can repurpose for our platforms. We have some incredible followers who really know how to style our product. Depending on the day, I’ll attend various meetings that help market our products. I’m lucky to work with such a talented and collaborative group of people. It’s teamwork that enables us to come up with great content. Where do you see social media moving for businesses in the future? One great thing about Social Media is that it’s always evolving. You never know what feature a platform can come up with that makes social exciting and fun. I think social media will continue to become an integral part of any business as it connects the customer to a brand on such a personal level. Customers can communicate with each other, while also feeling connected to the brand. It’s amazing stuff. >>
What tips do you have for others who would love to work in social media? Know your stuff ! Social isn’t all about regramming and posting. There is an actual strategy behind what we do. Study different content to understand what resonates with followers. Each brand has a different way of measuring the success of social media, so it’s crucial that you understand the brand’s point of view before interviewing. Be creative, have fun and don’t be scared to share your ideas. What is the number one tip you'd give to bloggers and business owners about growing their social media following? I think each business, blogger, influencer, etc. has a different goal for measuring their success. If their goal is to grow followers, use hashtags that are appropriate to your post. See what hashtags are trending and use these to become part of a larger conversation. Work with influencers in your area to cross promote. If your goal is to generate more sales via social, I would recommend using paid advertising to get your message out there. Bottom line is to have fun! What is the best part about your job? The toughest? The best part about my job is my team. My team is like a second family to me. No matter how stressful a day can be, they’re always there to make me laugh. Having that support system is truly the best. As for the toughest? Brainstorming! We’re always challenged to come up with new ideas, new initiatives and new ways to promote our brand through social. The good news is that I love a good brainstorm challenge and thrive with this type of request. Sometimes, my concepts bloom into actions and other times they’re duds. Either way, you’ve got to learn to roll with the punches and keep going. Since social media is 24/7, are you ever "off work"? How do you relax? Even though Social is 24/7, I still have a great work life balance. I’m a big fan of nature and exercising, so you can usually find me hiking in the woods, oming at yoga, or running on pavement! Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10? I recently got engaged to my best friend, RK. I’m so excited to start a life together and eventually a family. Being happy and healthy with him and living life in the moment is what I’d like my five-year plan to be. 10 years from now, I’d eventually like to start my own business that incorporates social media, design and doughnuts. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never met a doughnut I didn’t like.
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I QUIT MY JOB TO FOLLOW MY PASSION Melyssa Griffin has created her own online empire. With thousands of loyal followers looking to soak up what she has to teach, she has developed a following that allowed her to quit her job in teaching to pursue her work on The Nectar Collective full-time.
INTERVIEW BY KIMIKO MAINPRIZE // IMAGES PROVIDED BY MELYSSA GRIFFIN
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Tell us a little bit about your background - what were you doing BEFORE The Nectar Collective? Before I launched The Nectar Collective, I was working as an English teacher in Japan. Throughout my life, I’d always been focused on bringing people together in the name of community, as well as teaching others. I can remember when I was in elementary school, I color coded my younger brother’s books and created a teaching curriculum to help him learn how to read. It’s funny to look back on those moments now and see how they’ve come together to form the foundation for what The Nectar Collective has become. You made a big leap and quit your job to follow your passion: how did that first week after feel? It’s been a couple years now, so it’s hard to remember that first week specifically. But I can say that the transition was both a little nerve-wracking and a lot exciting. I had a gut feeling that I could do this if I really gave myself the chance, so even though it was a bit scary, I was optimistic. Tell us more about The Nectar Collective and what drew you to it. I formed The Nectar Collective first as a self-development and lifestyle blog. I created resources, blog posts, and an e-course designed to help people live better, more fulfilled lives. But in the first year or two, I wasn’t entirely focused on one goal or vision. I didn’t really know what “The Nectar Collective” meant to me, but I’ve found that it’s rare to start a business that never evolves. Now, after many months of experimentation, TNC has changed and grown in ways I never really thought were possible -- at least not for me. Now, it has a clear personality and vision. At its core, TNC is a resourceful community for people who want to turn their passion or skill into their full-time job. It’s for go-getters, creatives, and those who are sick of settling for less than they know is possible. What is a typical day like at The Nectar Collective? The beauty of The Nectar Collective is that there really aren’t any typical days. For a long time, I tried to run my business on a normal, 9-5 schedule, because it had been so drilled into me that I assumed there was logic to it. But now, I realize that inspiration and motivation don’t have a Google Calendar or planner. They don’t care about my 9-5 mentality. They strike whenever they feel like it. So, I’ve learned to not feel guilty about working odd hours if it feels right. Overall, I know this has led to better, more inspired work. As for what I do during my days, it can range from social media and blog posts to teaching free workshops or creating content for new e-courses or products. I also run a private Facebook, host a Twitter chat, and do frequent Periscope classes, all for bloggers and 36 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
entrepreneurs, which allow me to connect with my community on a regular basis. What was the scariest thing about following your passion and quitting your job? Like most people, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to make enough money. Luckily, I found that with some hard work, making money wasn’t as difficult as I’d made it out to seem. After about two years of running my first business, I started to get pangs of, “I don’t really like this anymore.” That’s the most recent “scary thing” I’ve dealt with. It was a lot like falling out of love with someone. You don’t want it to happen, but you also know that you won’t be happy if you stay. So, after two years of running that business successfully, I decided to quit and pursue online teaching (like e-courses and workshops) full-time. It was the best decision. So, as with all relationships, sometimes things take turns that we didn’t initially expect, but just because something ends, doesn’t mean something better isn’t waiting for us. What three pieces of advice do you have for people who are on the fence about following their passions? Do it. Just freakin’ do it. You might feel scared about money or experience or not knowing how your family will react or any number of things. There will always be a reason not to do something. Focus on the reasons why you should...the freedom you could feel, the joy of knowing that you’re living to your fullest potential, the increased income if you work hard. It’s possible, and I believe in you. Do it. Before you start your business, decide on your “why.” Why are you starting it? Why is it important to you? Write it down and keep it near your desk or wherever you’ll be doing business. Let it guide you. At one point during my three years of being in business, I realized that I had forgotten my “why” and was chasing an ever-growing paycheck. I took on partnerships and clients that didn’t always feel right to me, because I was focused on my bank account. Now, I’ve regained my focus on the things that matter most: community and the people I’m helping. So, find your “why” and don’t lose sight of it. None of us knows everything, or really even much of anything. When you’re starting out, it’s easy to look at big players in your field and think, “I’ll never get to where they are” or “wow, they know so much!” Don’t count yourself out before you’ve even given yourself a chance to get in the game. And truly, you will reach your own level of success, in whatever way that means for you. So, stop looking to other people to validate your worth or experience. Learn from others, but don’t be afraid to put on your blinders and focus on your own shit. We’re all just making things up as we go along.
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What has been your most uplifting moment so far in your new venture? That’s hard to say. I don’t think there has been one particular moment that stands out as the best. There are just so many tiny moments that have come together to create this beautiful experience. One thing that I do is take a screenshot whenever someone sends me an exceedingly kind email, tweet, or social media message. I keep them all in a folder on my computer called, “Sunshine.” I feel like all of those messages, from people who have been motivated by or learned from my work, are the most uplifting memory or moment for me.
your tail feathers off. The people in your life usually mean well, they just don’t know what to expect. Try not to blame them. Instead, just blow ‘em all out of the water with your success. What do you do for fun when you aren't busy following your dreams? I’m an ambivert, right in the middle of being an extrovert and an introvert, so I have just as much fun sitting at home with my dog and Netflix as I do at a music festival. My boyfriend and I love to eat, so we’re always either Yelping new places to try in LA or cooking a new recipe. We’ve also been watching shows at a local improv theater and love to frequent farmers markets. Travel and nature are also two of my biggest passions, so I love getting out into the world and experiencing new people, places, and feelings.
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Have you had any negative comments/feedback from people around you about your "leap of faith"? I’m lucky that most people have been overwhelmingly supportive. I do have family members who took months or years to fully understand what I do and tell me that they’re “proud” of me. I’ve also had numerous friends come to me with various job listings that they found on Craigslist or something similar, assuming that starting my own business was some sort of cover for, “I’m poor and desperate.” My best advice is to just keep your head down and work
At Holl & Lane, we love a good quote - what is one of your favourite pieces of advice or a quote that keeps you inspired? “If today were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?” - Steve Jobs
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FOOD & FITNESS
“There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.� -Nelson Mandela
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RAISING YOUR KIDS “RIGHT” A N D L EF T AND UP A N D DOW N
YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S MOST IMPORTANT ROLE MODEL. FROM THE WAY YOU TREAT OTHERS TO YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE TO YOUR DEDICATION TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, YOUR CHILD IS WATCHING AND INTERNALIZING THESE MESSAGES.
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Believing that physical activity is not only important but can be fun is the message we should be sending our children from the day they are born. Allowing them to observe and interact with us exercising makes it comforting, “normal” and hopefully, habitual. So, get up, grab a kid (or two or more) and get moving! It is motivating for you, bonding time for everyone… And if you're moving fast enough it's harder to hear any whining. WORDS BY EDEN COIRO // IMAGES BY NICOLE BEDARD
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TRICEP DIPS 1. Position your hands shoulder-width apart on a secured bench or stable chair. 2. Slide your glutes off the front of the bench with your legs extended out in front of you. 3. Straighten your arms, keeping a little bend in your elbows to keep tension on your triceps and off your elbow joints. 4. Slowly flex at your elbows to lower your body toward the ground until your elbows are approximately 90-degrees. (Maintain elbows pointing back – not “winging” out to sides). 5. Keep your back close to the bench. 6. To return, press down into the bench to extend your elbows, returning to the starting position. Note: Keep your neck long and shoulders down as you perform exercise.
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Modifications 1. Instead of extending your legs straight in front of you, maintain bent knees at 90-degrees. The closer your legs are to your body the less challenging the exercise will be. 2. Decrease range of motion during flexion of your elbows (aka don't go down as far). Challenges 1. Include your child in the exercise! Have your little one sit/lie across your lap as you perform your dips. 2. Take your dips only halfway up on the return – maintaining flexion in your elbows continuously. Goals / Reminders 1. Your goal is to challenge your triceps without recruiting your deltoids (shoulders) or your lower body (including your feet) to do the work. 2. At no point should you go lower than 90-degrees in your elbow bend. This may cause undue stress on shoulders and neck.
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JUMP SQUATS 1. Squat down by flexing at the hips and bending your knees. 2. Create a long line from your glutes to the top of your head. Head facing forward. Weight predominantly in heels. 3. Jump straight up, reaching arms as high as you can. 4. Return to the ground with “soft,” bent knees and let your arms swing back, behind you. Perform 20 jumps.
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Modifications 1. Increase the rest period between jumps. Instead of doing them consecutively, hold your squat position as you regain form and stamina. 2. Don't jump as high. Decrease difficulty by making your “jumps” into “hops.”
Challenges 1. Perform exercise as a “single leg jump squat.” Hover one leg above the ground and power up using stabilized leg. Land on same leg. Switch after performing 10 on one side. 2. Perform jump and tap your feet together at the height of your jump. Land in squat position in which you began.
Goals / Reminders 1. Increases strength in legs and bottom: hamstrings and quads as well as glutes. Increases leg stabilizers: abductors and adductors (outer and inner thighs). 2. Confirm that your knees do not pass over your toes while initiating jump as well as landing. 3. Allow your arms to aid you in balance, momentum and cadence. Swing them naturally back as you prepare for your jump and swing them up as you leave the ground.
ROLL UPS (above) 1. Lying on ground, legs hip width apart, feet planted in ground, knees bent, arms long behind you holding a ball. 2. Float ball up and overhead - without using momentum – slowly flex upper body, rolling up from the ground to bring ball to child. 3. Let child tap ball. Then raise arms (and ball) up into the air. Maintain arms parallel or slightly in front of ears as you sequentially articulate down to starting position. Perform 20 roll ups.
Challenges 1. Place legs in a table top position (feet off ground, knees bent at 90 degrees) and perform full roll up. You can even rest heels on child’s stroller footrest for comfort. 2. Instead of passing ball in front of you as you flex up, maintain arms slightly in front of ears, ball overhead. Keep ball directly overhead through entire exercise. This creates a longer lever from your hips to the tips of your fingers rather than just hips to shoulders.
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Goals / Reminders 1. Increases the strength of your core/abdominals and flexibility of spine. 2. Focus on releasing tension in hip flexors. If you feel “gripping” in the front of your hips, walk your feet further forward or readjust your range of motion.
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SOCCER KICKS 1. Facing stroller, stand with your feet hip width apart. 2. Transition weight primarily to the balls of your feet, while your heels still touch the ground. 3. Bend your elbows and hold your hands in close to your body. 4. Tap your right foot to the front of the stroller footrest. Then quickly alternate to tap your left foot to the stroller footrest. 5. As you feel more comfortable increase speed while focusing on maintaining balance and breathing. Perform for 1-minute. Rest. Repeat 3x.
Modifications 1. Decrease the speed of the activity. Begin just with toe taps to the stroller without increasing momentum. 2. Decrease the height at which you're tapping. If you're tapping the stroller footrest bring it down a bit and tap the wheel.
ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS PREVIEW? Challenges 1. Change your “soccer kicks” to “high knees.” Bring your feet higher than the height of the footrest during this drill. 2. Increase your speed. Goals / reminders 1. Keep your back straight from head to glutes. Recruit the muscles of your abdominals, hamstrings, quads and hip flexors. 2. Land softly on your base foot.
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SPRINT INTERVALS – TABATA METHOD 1. Pushing stroller, begin running at a challenging pace for 20 seconds. 2. After 20 seconds, return to a slow walk for 10 seconds. (This is one repetition). Perform 8x (equivalent of 4- minutes of intervals). Modifications 1. Change your sprints to a “fast-paced-walk.” 2. Perform full exercise (20-second sprint followed by 10-second recovery) however, space out the repetitions. For example: perform 2 repetitions and then move on to a different exercise. Once completed, perform 2 sprint interval repetitions, etc.
WALKING LUNGES (below) 1. Stand upright, feet together, stroller in front of you, and take a controlled step forward with your right leg, lowering your hips toward the ground by bending both knees to 90-degree angles. 2. The back knee should point toward - but not touch - the ground, and your front knee should be directly over the ankle. 3. Press your right heel into the ground, and push off with your left foot to bring your left leg forward, stepping with control into a lunge on the other side. Perform 20-lunges.
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Modifications 1. Bring yourself into a lunge position, lowering your hips toward the ground by bending both knees to 90-degree angles. Return your body to the standing position – still with legs staggered – do not push other leg forward. Perform 10 “static” lunges on one side and then switch to the other side. 2. Attempt walking or static lunges without bringing yourself down as far. Maintain a larger angle behind both knees during execution.
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Challenges 1. Make your sprint intervals longer – perhaps 30-35 seconds. Keep your recovery the same. 2. Increase number of repetitions. You can do it!
Goals / Reminders 1. Sprints build stamina as well as endurance. They increase your heart’s ability to pump blood throughout your body efficiently and effectively. 2. Sprints are supposed to be anaerobic (without oxygen uptake). If you find yourself able to “sprint” for long periods of time without recovery you are NOT sprinting – rather, you are running or jogging.
Challenges 1. While in the lowest position of each lunge, perform a single jump returning to the ground in the same lunge position. Step forward with other foot, lunge, jump, return to lunge and then continue. 2. Perform the walking lunges backwards. Instead of traveling forward with each lunge, travel backward, pushing off with your front foot. Goals / Reminders 1. Lunges increase the strength of your quads, hamstrings and glutes. 2. At no point should you feel discomfort in your knees. Maintain 90-degree angles behind your knees while lunging, keep your chest lifted and shoulders back evenly distributing your weight.
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Carrie Aquino, Age 33
Studio Owner, Fitness Instructor, Medical Aesthetician, wife and mother of 2. How did you get started with bootybarre? What led you to it? After instructing yoga and pilates since the age of 19, I was intrigued by the up and coming popular barre workouts. I did quite a bit of research and proceeded with my Bootybarre certification three years ago. Moving to the small town of Lexington, Ohio from Columbus Ohio around the same time, no one knew what barre was. As I began to teach this format in the area, it caught on like wildfire and everyone was loving the results, not to mention a fun, energetic workout that kept them coming back for more! After opening a small studio on my own, I felt like I could use a little help! Two studios later and eight instructors (a mix of barre and yoga), we have what it takes to meet the demand in the area! What exactly is bootybarre? Bootybarre is an awesome blend of yoga, pilates and ballet inspired moves. This workout also includes resistance training and cardio segments to burn those calories and aid in sculpting long lean muscles. I offer levels 1-3 in every class. What can newcomers expect from one of your classes? I have new people join us every week and I have clients who have been with me for years! I continually mix up my material, yet keep my instruction clear and precise so its easy to follow to those just starting out.
WORKOUT SPOTLIGHT
BOOTYBARRE INTERVIEW BY KIMIKO MAINPRIZE // IMAGES PROVIDED BY CARRIE AQUINO
What is the best part about a bootybarre workout? The most challenging part? The best part of bootybarre is the feminine aspect that comes along with the workout. You are not bulking up, you are toning up and creating strength and flexibility at the same time. We create a great looking booty, trim down the waistline and define our arms! Everything most women are striving for. The most challenging part of bootybarre is always mind over matter. Pushing through that last set of pulses, sinking a little lower, and not letting those legs give up! I was never a dancer, I get asked all of the time. People always say, “I’m not flexible” or “I’m not coordinated”, well, that’s why you should go! Do you need to be a dancer or can anyone do a bootybarre workout? Bootybarre uses quite a bit of ballet terminology such as first and second position, plie, and releve. With consistent verbal and physical correction coming from a quality instructor, these terms become second nature for a barre fly. By using proper form and good cueing, we lessen the chance for injury. You gain confidence, grace, balance, and a killer physique. What three tips do you have for people who would like to maintain a healthy lifestyle? 1) Eat well. Eat well can mean so many things, to me, it’s eating to fuel your body. It only performs as well as the food you put in it. You can work your butt off in the studio 7 times a week, but if you eat like crap, your body has nothing to show for it. 2) Be consistent with your workout. Be physically active at least 5 times a week. It doesnt always have to be the same thing, mix it up and keep yourself interested! Explore and step outside your comfort zone, which leads me to.... 3) GET OUTSIDE! Hike, bike, paddle, run- do whatever you love to do outside, but get out there. Fresh air does the body and mind so good. Unplug, disconnect and take in what mother nature has to offer us. HollAndLaneMag.com | 47
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YOGA MOVES WORDS BY ALISSA MUNTAIN // IMAGES BY AMY JO IMAGES
The typical public perception of Yoga has changed significantly in recent years from what many people think of it being. We tend to envision someone sitting on a mat with their legs crossed meditating, maybe a gentle stretch here and there, right? I know thats what I always thought of when people talked about yoga. Though meditation can and should play a role in your yoga practice, it doesn’t have to mean you sit on your mat and meditate for an hour. That’s the beauty of yoga, its possibilities are endless and it can mean many things to different people. No matter what your goal with your practice is, you will constantly learn and grow. Yoga is not just about working out, it’s about a healthy lifestyle. The practice of yoga allows students to be still in a world consumed with chaos. Peace and tranquility achieved through focused training appeals to everyone. Yoga helps us relieve stress and unclutter the mind, and helps us get more focused. There are many different types of yoga. Hatha or Vinyasa are the forms most often associated with yoga, combing a series of basic movements with breathing. Power yoga is a faster, fitness based, higher-intensity practice that builds muscle. Ashtanga is built of a series of poses, combined with a special breathing techniques (if you ever been to a class involving this practice you may refer to this breathing technique as the “Darth Vader” noise). Another popular type of yoga practice is Bikram or Hot yoga, which combines a series of 26 challenging poses performed in a room heated to a high temperature. No matter what route you go with yoga the benefits you will see both mentally and physically will have you hooked. I know for me personally I can appreciate all types, there may be days where I want to do a nice slow flow to stretch out, and other days where all I want to do is be upside down or in a challenging arm balance. Yoga brings together physical and mental disciplines that can help us achieve peacefulness of the body and mind, helping to relax, manage stress and anxiety leading us to live an all around healthier lifestyle! If you’re just getting started, give these five poses a try. You may surprise yourself !
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CHILDS POSE or Balasana This calming pose is a resting posture that can help quiet the mind, easing stress and anxiety. While gently stretching your lower back, hips, thighs, knees and ankles, it is also good for your nervous and lymphatic system! It increases blood circulation to your head which reduces headaches! It is just one of the key postures that you can come to in the middle of a class whenever you need to catch your breath. I start and end all of my classes and my own personal practice in this posture!
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TO DO: Start in a kneeling position. Drop your bottom toward your heels as you stretch the rest of your body down forward. In the fully stretched position, rest your arms in a relaxed position along the floor, rest your stomach comfortably on top of your thighs, and rest your forehead on the mat. Don’t force your bottom to move any closer to your heels than is comfortable, then just let your whole body melt into this stretch. As your flexibility grows you can widen your legs letting your stomach come closer to the mat.
PLANK POSE or Phalakasana
My favorite pose in yoga! There really is nothing better than a good solid plank! It literally works every part of your body, with particular focus on the arms, wrists, shoulders and abdomen. Building endurance and spinal support by strengthening the core muscles, this also aids in a better posture!
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TO DO: From a standing position, forward fold, step or jump both feet back 4-5 feet into a push-up position. Spread the fingers wide apart with the middle finger pointing forward, press into the palms with the arms straight. Tuck the tailbone under so the legs, hips and torso are one straight line. Press the crown of the head forward and with toes tucked, press the heels back. Breath and hold for 1-4 breaths, or if in a fitness based yoga you may hold for up to a minute or more! To modify this pose you would just come to the knees. As you build more core strength you can lower down to a low plank variation by coming down onto the forearms. To release out you can bend the knees to the floor and sit back into a childs pose.
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DOWN DOG or Adho Mukha Savasana Often the first yoga pose you may encounter during a yoga class, the down dog or the downward facing dog pose is an amazing stress-relieving pose that helps in waking up the senses and reduces fatigue and tiredness. It helps in improving bone density and preventing bone diseases such as osteoporosis in women! It also rejuvenates the body by improving blood circulation, and this pose can help in relieving neck pain by reducing stiffness in the upper body.
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TO DO: From a plank pose, curl the toes under and push back raising the hips and straightening the legs. Spread the fingers and ground down from the forearms into the fingertips. Outwardly rotate the upper arms broadening the collarbones. Letting the head hang, move the shoulder blades away from the ears towards the hips, engage the quadriceps strongly to take the weight off the arms, making this more of a resting pose.
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A good way to check that the distance between your hands and feet is correct is by coming forward to a plank position, if you started out in plank the distance between the hands and feet should be the same in these two poses, just be sure not to step the feet toward the hands in Down Dog in order the get the heels to the floor. This will happen eventually as the muscles lengthen! Beginners can try bending your knees and coming up on to the balls of your feet. For a more advanced Down Dog you can begin to raise one leg making this more of a balance posture or a Three-legged down dog variation, but in doing that the shoulders and pelvis need to remain square to the floor! If you can apply the principles of alignment with a bit of mindfulness in action, you’ll be standing on “three legs” in no time!
HALF TWIST POSE or Ardha Matsyendrasana This little twist feels amazing! This twist is traditionally known to massage your abdominal organs, detoxify your liver and kidneys, and stimulate digestive fire. It also helps with your spinal flexibility and range of motion, relieves thoracic or mid back spinal tension, strengthens your abdominal oblique muscles and stretches your hip rotators and hip. It also opens the chest and increases the oxygen supply to the lungs!
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TO DO: Sit up with the legs stretched out straight in front of you, keeping the feet together and the spine erect. Bend the right leg and place the heel of the right foot beside the left hip. To modify the full twist you can keep the right leg straight. Then take the left leg over the right knee, placing the right hand on the left knee and the left hand behind you.Twist the waist, shoulders and neck in this sequence to the left and look over the left shoulder. Keeping the spine erect, hold and continue with gentle long breaths in and out. Breathing out, release the left hand first (the hand behind you), release the waist, then chest, lastly the neck and sit up relaxed yet straight.Repeat on the other side. HollAndLaneMag.com | 51
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CROW or Bakasana
Oh the joy of crow pose (YES you CAN do it!) I have a true passion for this pose, I will never forget the first time I got my toes off the ground. It may have only been a half an inch and only for half a second, but they got off the ground and the simple act of trying and kind of getting it gave me the confidence to keep at it. It is such an empowering pose and helps you build strength to get into even harder arm balances! This balance is really an all over body workout- it strengthens the arms and wrists as well as strengthening and toning the core muscles. As you begin to really find that “lift" in this balance, you will realize you’re engaging just about every muscle in your body!
TO DO: To come into Crow Pose from standing, squat down and place your hands flat on your mat about shoulder-width apart with the fingers spread wide. Now, keep the hands and feet where they are but lift the hips up toward the sky, bend the knees and lift the heels off the floor so just the balls of the feet are down. Gently press the knees in to the backs of the triceps and begin to shift your weight onto the fingertips, picking one foot at a time off the floor. Bend the elbows if necessary for balance. Use the core to draw the navel in toward the spine to stabilize and find that "lift" in the center of the body that eventually allows you to straighten the elbows and hold. Be sure to bring your gaze just between the hands to maintain balance.
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DROOL WORTHY RECIPES AHEAD
Mango-Mint Smoothie WORDS & IMAGES BY MOLLY WANTLAND
Ingredients: • 1 handful spinach • 1/2 - 1 cup frozen mango pieces • few sprigs of fresh mint • juice of 1/2 of a grapefruit • 5-6 ice cubes • 1/2 - 1 cup water Instructions: Blend all and enjoy!
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Quinoa Black Bean Burger WORDS & IMAGES BY CATHERINE SHORT
Burger Up is a restaurant in the 12 South neighborhood of Nashville that puts an amazing spin on traditional American fare. Their meats are locally sourced and they have a drink selection that is top notch. A popular item on their menu is a delicious quinoa black bean burger. This vegetarian burger is inspired by their "Marathon Burger" and would be the perfect addition to your next meatless Monday menu. It's full of flavor and texture and once adorned with your favorite burger toppings it'll satisfy even the biggest carnivore. Ingredients: • 1 1/2 cups cooked quinoa • 1 carrot, peeled • 1/4 small onion • 2 tbsp ketchup • 1-2 cloves of garlic • 1 tsp paprika • 1 tsp ground cumin • 1/2 tsp chili powder • 1 tsp. salt • 1 (15 ounce) can black beans, rinsed • 1/2 cup oats • Olive oil • Hamburger buns Maple Ketchup: • 2 parts ketchup • 2 parts marinara sauce • 1 part maple syrup • A couple twists of fresh ground pepper Topping Suggestions: Cheese, lettuce, tomato, guacamole, pickles, ketchup, mustard Instructions: 1. Cook the quinoa according to package directions. 2. In a small bowl mix the ketchup, paprika, cumin, chili powder and salt. 3. In a food processor chop the carrot, onion and garlic until fine. Add the rinsed black beans and spice mix until blended well. Fold in the quinoa and oats until desired consistency. If there is too much liquid add in more oats. 4. Form into 6 patties. 5. Heat 2 teaspoons olive oil in a non-stick or cast iron skillet. Add the patties and cook for 5-6 minutes on each side.
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Peanut Ginger Soba Noodle Salad WORDS & IMAGES BY JENNA SHOLINDER
Cook Time: 30 minutes Makes: 2 servings Ingredients: • 6 ounces soba noodles • Salt • 1 tbsp + 1 tsp sesame oil • 2 tbsp coconut aminos or tamari • 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar • 2-3 tbsp grated ginger (freeze first for easier grating) • 1 1/2 tbsp honey • 1 tbsp chunky all natural peanut butter • 1/2 tsps siracha • 4 ounces of tofu, sliced • 2 radishes, thinly sliced • 3 scallions, sliced • Sesame seeds, for garnish (optional) • Half an English cucumber, julienned • 1 small carrot, julienned • 5-10 snap peas, julienned • 1 sheet of toasted nori, cut thinly with scissors or flaked Instructions: 1. Cook soba noodles in a large pot of salted boiling water for about 3 to 4 minutes. Be careful not to overcook. As soon as they are cooked, rinse well in cold water. 2. Prepare sauce by whisking together sesame oil, coconut aminos, apple cider vinegar, grated ginger, honey, peanut butter and siracha. Set aside. 3. In a hot pan add 1 tsp of sesame oil. Place sliced tofu between two sheets of paper towel and press to remove moisture. Add a good sprinkling of sea salt to one side and place salted side down in the hot pan. Salt the other side and toast for 2 minutes until crispy and flip. 4. Add a couple spoonfuls of sauce to the cooled noodles and stir to combine. Stir in the half of each of the julienned vegetables and scallions. 5. Serve garnished with remaining vegetables and sliced nori. Top with crispy tofu and enjoy!
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Healthy Creamy Dill Sauce WORDS & IMAGES BY KELLY AGNEW
Serves: 4 meals Total cook time time: 10 minutes Ingredients: • 1 cup cashews, soaked • 2/3 cup almond milk • 3 tbsp apple cider vinegar • 2 tbsp lemon juice • 2 tbsp olive oil • 2 tsp maple syrup • 1/4 tsp garlic powder • 1/2 tsp salt • 1/4 cup fresh, chopped dill Instructions: 1. Combine all ingredients, except dill, in a high speed blender. Blend until creamy and smooth. 2. Transfer to pot. Add chopped dill and stir. 3. Heat on low, continuously stirring, until heated through. If mixture becomes too thick, add water or almond milk to thin. 4. Serve over pasta (gluten-free if necessary) or spiralized zucchini. This recipe is vegan, gluten-free and dairy-free.
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Lemon Shortbread Squares WORDS & IMAGES BY CHRISTINE SIMARD
Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 1 hour, 1 hour cooling. Makes: approximately 20-30 squares Ingredients: Crust • 1 cup butter, soft • 2 1/2 cup flour • 1/2 cup sugar • 1/2 tsp salt • 1 tsp of lemon zest Lemon Filling • 6 large eggs • 1 1/2 cup sugar • 1/4 cup flour • 1/4 cup cream • 1 cup lemon juice (approx. 4 lemons) • zest of 1 lemon • 1/4 tsp salt • 1 tbsp of powdered sugar for sifting Instructions: 1. Heat oven to 350 F. In a mixer (or by hand with a fork), cream butter and add flour, sugar, salt and lemon zest. Mix until large clumps form. 2. Press into a 13 x 9 pan lined with two crisscrossed rectangles of parchment paper that overhang about an inch on all sides. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the edges are a little golden. 3. Meanwhile, prepare the lemon filling by whisking the eggs and sugar. Add the flour, salt, cream, lemon juice, and zest- mixing after each ingredient. 4. Pour over the warm crust and cook for 30-35 minutes, until set. 5. Cool to room temperature, then refrigerate for 1 hour. 6. Sift the powdered sugar over the top. Carefully lift the parchment paper to take the rectangle out of the pan. 7. Cut into squares. Serve cold.
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CO N T RI B U T E WE ALL HAVE A STORY TO TELL. LET US SHARE YOURS. APPLY TO BE A CONTRIBUTOR.
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DIY
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.� -Harriet Tubman
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DIY LAUNDRY BASKET UPCYCLE Who doesn't need a little help in the organization department? Here is a surefire way to make sure that being organized means looking pretty too! Supplies: • Wicker basket • Chalk (optional) • Painters Tape • Paint Optional step: Visualize and draw a faint chalk line where you'd like your paint to go. This can be trial and error, or if you're brave just go for it with the tape. Instructions: 1. Using painters tape, tape a line all the way around the bottom of the basket. Press down on the painters tape to make sure the seal is solid and to ensure you don't get bleed throughs. 2. Next, paint under (or on top of for a different look!) the line. Depending on how faded, or bright you're looking for this could take between 1-3 coats. 3. Let dry until paint is no longer sticky or tacky and peel the tape off ! Voila! WORDS & IMAGES BY KRYSTAL KRISTIANSEN
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DIY PAINT DIPPED SUCCULENT PLANTERS Spring is almost here and it's the perfect time to add some greenery to your life! Make these cute paint dipped planters to house your new succulents and cacti. They're easy to make, inexpensive, and customizable to your color palette! Supplies: • Stemless wine glasses • White paint • Gray paint • Plastic dish for dipping • Wax paper, string, and/or binder clips • Plants and potting soil Instructions: 1. Dip the bottom of your stemless wine glass into white paint. Allow as much paint to drip as possible and hang to dry with string and binder clips. Once mostly dry you can move to a sheet of wax paper to dry upside down. 2. After white paint has completely dried, dip the glass into gray paint. Try dipping at a different angle so the colors don't overlap entirely. Again, allow as much paint to drip as possible and hang to dry with string and binder clips. Once mostly dry you can move to a sheet of wax paper to finish drying upside down. 3. After all paint has completely dried, fill with plants and potting soil. WORDS & IMAGES BY SARAH WISSINGER
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DIY WATERCOLOR GREETING CARDS Over the past year I've become passionate about sending out little cards to friends and family. Everyone loves getting mail and it always puts a smile on my face when I think about someone I love receiving a simple thank you note, or a hello, or a get well soon card. Making your own pretty watercolor greeting cards is simple! Supplies: • 8.5x11" white cardstock paper • 4.5x5.75" envelopes • Shallow dish filled with water • Watercolor set • Paintbrush Instructions: 1. Cut your 8.5x11" sheets of card stock into 8.5x5.5" half-sheets (once folded, they will fit in your envelopes.) 2. Dip the end of your half-sheet into a small dish of water 3. Use your watercolors and paint brush to paint as desired 4. Allow to dry completely and then press flat in a heavy book 5. Fold in half and customize with your text and message on the inside WORDS & IMAGES BY SARAH WISSINGER
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DIY TWIG COASTERS WORDS & IMAGES BY JESS DOWNEY
Rustic décor makes everything feel cozy. Like sitting by the fire with a blanket on a cold winter's night. Here's a fun and extremely inexpensive DIY project to add just the right amount of rustic touches to any room in your home. Supplies: • Twigs (These can be collected from outside or purchased from a store) • Twine (any color of your choice) • Sponge brush • Tacky glue • Wire cutters Instructions: 1. Trim twigs into smaller pieces with wire cutter. Aim to make each twig about 4 inches long. You'll need about 15-20 twigs to work with to make a 3.5 inch coaster. Also trim any excess spots sticking out of the twig. You want it to be as flat as possible so it fits well with the other twigs. 2. Lay twigs out flat and piece together like a puzzle. It's OK to have some gaps as they'll likely lessen once you put everything together, but aim for as tight of a fit as you can. 3. Attach and secure twigs with twine and glue. This is best done by taking twigs by twos. Put a little glue on one end of the twigs and weave the twine in an out, tying it as tight as you can. The glue will help secure everything. Then repeat on the other end of the twigs. 4. Take two more twigs and repeat step 4 until all twigs are attached together. If you have any issues weaving the twine in and out, you can use tweezers to help pull it through. 5. Once all twigs are attached, add a thin layer of glue between each twig. Let dry overnight. The finished product will likely bend and feel a little "flimsy", but that's normal. As long as the twigs are securely attached to one another, you're good to go. 68 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
LIFE STORIES
“Passion is one great force that unleashes creativity, because if you're passionate about something, then you're more willing to take risks.� -Yo-Yo Ma
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DISCOVERING MY TALENT
What would you do if you suddenly discovered you had a hidden talent at the age of 37? Would you cautiously explore, or jump in whole-heartedly? For Elizabeth Silva, she jumped in and hasn’t looked back. WORDS & IMAGES BY ELIZABETH SILVA
“I can’t,” I sighed as I dropped the graphite pencil onto the drawing pad. “I’m just no good.” My drawing of a coffee mug looked more like a west coast bagel – shapeless, flat, and uninteresting. An elective my first year of college, art class was supposed to be an easy A. I thought it would be a given. I had always been an artistic person: writing, photography, and creating music felt natural to me. Much to my surprise, I had no drawing talent whatsoever. What appeared effortless for students in art class was impossible for me to execute. After I applied paint to my drawing, I ripped it up and threw it away. Defeated, I closed the drawing pad and dropped the class; it would be another twenty years before I picked up another graphite pencil, and soon after, a paint brush. The term self-discovery conjures up images of youth: teenagers and twenty-somethings pushing the limits of parental rules, the expectations society impresses upon them, and authority. In a quest to explore creativity, spirituality, boundaries, bodies and minds, self-discovery unfolds itself for some in the back seats of cars, in permanent ink, in a thick haze of smoke, in black lipstick, and in raging music. For me, I happened upon my journey of self-discovery with a pencil and a paint brush at the age of 37. It was July 4, 2014. It was a warm and bright Friday morning; warm because it was sum-
mer, bright because I was going to spend the entire day with my son – just the two of us. For a mom, there isn’t anything that fills your warm and fuzzy quota like unadulterated time with your favorite little person. He was three and already taking an interest in art. In the weeks prior, he’d come home from preschool with multi-colored construction paper of various shapes and sizes, painted, scribbled, glued, stamped, and always sparkling. My husband connected with my son through sports, cars, and all things “boy,” while I struggled to find that one thing that would become “our thing.” Because of the interest he was showing in art, I thought maybe I’d give it a shot. There was only one problem: I couldn’t do art. That I knew for sure. I set out early that morning to purchase art supplies: paper, graphite pencils, watercolor paints and a few inexpensive brushes. I returned home feverish with excitement. After all, I was hoping to ignite his little heart ablaze with artistic ingenuity, a passion for self-expression, and most importantly, something we could call our very own. In the days leading up to our first art session, I searched Pinterest for inspiration. I combed through children’s books for easy scenes to paint. I printed ideas from websites for watercolor projects and things to draw. I was nervous but I was ready. I setup a workspace in the kitchen. My son’s brown eyes were as big as saucers, clicking open and shut with anticipation. At one end of the counter, my son teetering on a kitchen stool glided a loaded paint brush over his art paper. Happy with the results he announced, “I’m done!” and ran off to play with toy cars as three-year-olds are wont to do. I was crushed.
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I sat there in my kitchen blinking at a blank page overwhelmed by what to do. With no one watching, I began to float my brush across the page, attempting to mimic an image of a mermaid I found online. The scent of water on paper was earthy, simple,
intoxicating. I began to mix colors on the art paper and let them take shape organically; I worked them until suddenly—and almost magically—a mermaid was formed. She had a ragged tail, large, round hips, and dirty, ocean-stained hair. She was beautiful. She was mine. “Is this good?” I asked my husband when he got home, suspicious of what my brain was telling me. “You painted that? Whoa. And wow.” Artists often talk of “happy accidents” which refers to a pleasing result in an art project when it was not planned or intended at all. To me, my mermaid was just that, a happy accident. Not convinced I could create another equally lucky piece of art, I continued to paint, and paint, and paint until it started to feel natural. Through this process, I began to see my world through a lens of an artist. Shapes, lines, and forms became interesting, inspiring, enchanting. Colors became richer, deeper. I began to see beauty in imperfection, in the small things, in the insignificant. For the first time in my life, I saw something new: me. For the first time, I wasn’t just a wife, a mom, a writer, a musician, I was also an artist. A badge I wear proudly today. I find it ironic that I spent my entire life trying to be someone else. Then one day I realized there was nobody else I’d rather be but the very person I had been all along. Like literary critic and novelist Ralph Ellison wrote in The Invisible Man, "When I discover who I am, I'll be free." And I am.✴
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STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
O
ne in three. What would you do if I told you since this time last year one in three women experienced domestic violence? Ignore it? Be outraged? Offer help? I am not a victim. Unfortunately, my sister was. On April 16, 2013 she was murdered by her husband because she wanted to leave him. She was tired of the abuse. She had only been married to him for two short years when this happened and for those two years she experienced verbal, mental and physical abuse by a man that said he “loved” her. Too often we ignore that bruise on someone’s face or that timid, almost scared, posture of co-worker, relative or a close friend. After all it’s not happening to us and it might be mean to have an uncomfortable conversation about personal issues. We almost always convince ourselves it will go away or it’s not as bad as we imagine. Domestic violence is never all right. NEVER! It’s a person breaking someone’s nose, burning them with cigarettes, raping or threatening them with greater violence. Or in my sisters case, murder. It’s ugly and it has to stop now. I have taken steps these last three years to educate myself and others on eliminating this oftentimes silent scourge. These dedicated people are the ones who make sure emergency shelters are open so at 2am a victim has somewhere to go. Or they provide training to the victims. Domestic violence has been an issue for far too long. What can you do? First, learn about your local programs by going online to find out where the closest program is and how you can support them and the coalition. Then add your voice by saying “Not in my home, not in my business, not in my city, not in my state, NOT EVER will I accept violence.” They need your voice, whether you are volunteering your time, donating a few dollars or just telling colleagues that this must stop now! Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are when you were born and when you find out why.” I suggest the “why” is to raise your voice for those who can’t… the abused, the raped and those who have died. I urge you to join me and others across the world to speak up and say “NOT NOW, NOT EVER!” WORDS BY ROBIN GRAMES
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Learn more at the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, www.ncadv.org HollAndLaneMag.com | 73
DIVORCED At Age 30
WORDS & IMAGES BY RACHEL PERKINS
I
fell in love. I got married in my 20’s. Settled into a beautiful condo with our pup, Miss B. I had a great job and my career was in full swing. Life was going well and on track for greatness. Then, in a flash, or so it seemed, it all came crashing down. I got laid off. Our love faded. I was sleeping on the couch. I closed my Facebook account. I was packing my things to move out and signing on the dotted line. I was divorced at 30. Like most divorces, mine did not end on speaking terms. Reality was, it was draining, unhealthy, lengthy, but it was the best thing that had happened to me. A silly thing to say right? Not until you hear my story. Shortly after moving out, I found myself living on the floor of my Grandparents attic and was a huge disappointment to some of my Catholic family members. I was working part time, which made my living situation limited and living in our condo was NOT an option. Cucumbers became my best friend since my eyes were so swollen from crying. My dog became my only sanity. If it wasn’t for her, I would not have left my room or gone outside much. She kept me moving and got me out, even if it was for a short period of time. My Grandparents kept me company when they called me down for dinner. My friends called often to add their support, but I felt like a burden on their happy, harmonious, married and unmarried lives. I was the “Debbie Downer” of our group and felt like I was a failure. Yes. Since my marriage was failing, I was failing at life. In all hon-
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esty, I was embarrassed, because I held marriage in such a high light and now that light had gone out. Soon, depression set in and the “heart break” diet was in full effect. My life was at a low and I didn’t have anyone who could relate to what I was going through. I was too young to be going through this and I thought that keeping distant from everyone close to me would give me an excuse not to talk about it or face the reality of my divorce. Boy was I wrong. Talking about it and accepting my situation became the best medicine to heal my broken heart. My mom was at the forefront of my turn around, calling me daily and pushing me towards a new life. She said, “One day you will look back and ask yourself, ‘Who was that girl,’ and being divorced is not the end of the world.” I would roll my eyes when she would say it and just give a monotone response, “Okay Mom.” In the end, as most mothers are, she was right. It was not the end of the world and I was not going to let it be. Baby steps, forgiveness, and being surrounded by loved ones. That’s what it takes for anyone to move forward in a situation like this. The first step I took was accepting that divorce was not the end of my life or the end of me. It was a new beginning. A time for me to start fresh and get back to finding who I was and what I loved. A time to get back to life for what it was worth, which was a lot. >>
The second step I took was seeking therapeutic help. I needed to talk to someone who was on the outside and who could help me deal and reaffirm what I was feeling and going through. I needed someone who could be honest with me, even if it was not what I wanted to hear like, “It will take a good year or so to really be able to heal from this” or “This isn’t about the other woman. It’s about you and him and moving on and finding your self worth again.” It felt like a couple punches in the gut, but it proved its truth a year later.
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The third step I took was more of a leap. I began socializing with friends and getting back to doing things I loved. I had a love for the outdoors and grew up an athlete, but in the past few months the most athletic workout I got was walking my dog or rewinding the ending of Sleepless in Seattle, crying in joy for Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks’ character with the hopes that would be me some day. Not sure if it would take part on an Empire State Building, but something along those romantic lines. After seeing friends and sharing laughs, I realized that staying in a dark room doesn’t get you far. It keeps you where you don’t want to be. Depressed.
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The first outing I took was to New York City. Best part, it was my 30th birthday and what better way to get out of a funk than with friends. It wasn’t easy, but I knew I had to go. At one point the darkness crept in and I considered keeping my week old sweatpants on and thought that staying home would be just fine. Fortunately, with the pressure of my NYC friends and my Grandparents, I put one foot in front of the other and headed out to the big city to celebrate being me. The leap turned into a jump in the right direction. My efforts led to other baby steps that turned to big steps towards more things that I loved. New Year’s Eve was around the corner and I didn’t have plans, but I made a point to get back into running. A local running store was having a New Year’s Day run and what better way to kick off the new year than with a dose of endorphins. While on the run, I met another runner who became my training buddy and friend. She and I went on to do more races, meet new friends, and enjoy some beach time. The year continued with saying yes to after-work happy hours and making plans for a snowboarding trip to Colorado. Each step was getting easier and easier. I was getting back to becoming myself and really living life again. This time on my own terms. After about a year, I found myself in a suit, standing tall, and ready to face what lie ahead of me at the court office. Along with my lawyer, I sat outside wondering if “He” would attend the divorce hearing and wondering how I would react. I was confident, calm, and ready to move on. As each minute went by and I waited, my name was called. I looked around and sat down at the table. He wasn’t there and I knew he would not be coming. With a smile on my face, I knew I had made the right decision and I was ready. Funny thing is if it had been a year ago I would have been angry, sloped down in my chair hiding, or slumped over in despair. Instead, I was calm, cool, and ready for what was ahead of me. It was at that moment that I realized what my next and final step would be. Forgiveness.
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I signed the papers, shook my lawyer’s hand, smiled at the judge, and went home. My grandparents hugged me, I called my mom, and sat down with my pup in my lap. For the first time in a long time I let out a sigh of relief. It was over. It was finally over and I had survived the ordeal. At the time it felt like hell, but now it felt really good. I felt strong, light on my shoulders, and at peace. Looking out the window I saw a new, wonderful life that I had embraced and more was waiting for me. As I backed away, I caught my reflection and saw a woman of strength, happiness, and confidence. One who could ask, “Who was that girl a year ago?” ✴
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STUDENT SPOTLIGHT
To The Man Who To Raise Me WORDS BY ANONYMOUS
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I
found you online last week. Social media is kind of cruel like that - offering instant access to the skeletons from your closet with a quick click of a button. I’m not even sure why I looked. Curiosity, I suppose. You look so different. You’ve gained weight, and your hair has become so white. You look old. You look happy. And it hurt. Being the age that I am, I was practically trained on social media detective work in school - so, I found your post online. The one about me. Did you want me to see it, or were you just looking for another pity vote? It made me so angry. You twist words and make me out to be the bad guy, when I was the one left with the bruises. You post about missing me, but you never try to contact me. Even through the anger, somehow, I’m not surprised. It’s typical of you. And I should know better than to expect you to change. It’ll be seven years this summer since I last heard your voice - did you know that? I wonder if you think about it much, or at all. Maybe just on holidays? Maybe just on my birthday? Or Father’s Day? You probably don’t. What am I thinking? I have your stubbornness, you know. Your eyes too. Perhaps that’s why it’s been so long. I saw a lot of you in myself and that terrified me. I thought if I got away, made a better life, I wouldn’t have to feel your hold anymore. But it was still there. Softer than before, it was there all the same. It was there when I looked in the mirror, it was there when I felt myself losing my temper, when I felt afraid or alone, and it was there in the men I dated. You always said your biggest fear was I’d end up with a man just like you - and no matter how hard I would fight, I found myself doing just that. I won’t use names, or details, but know that I’m okay now - he’s gone, and I’m safe. It broke mum’s heart seeing me with him, hearing about all the things he did to me. I hate myself for putting her through that again. She blamed herself. I wonder if it would’ve hurt your heart too, if you would blame yourself - or if it wouldn’t even matter. I guess it wouldn’t. I spent a lot of time pushing people away - I became quite cold. It just seemed easier than letting anyone else in. But I'm older now - I know I deserve better. I've started standing up for myself and just doing things for myself - and it feels okay. It was scary at first, gaining that independence, but I know it's good for me. I bought a car - isn't that crazy? I'm in school too - straight A’s
- are you proud? I have one year left and then it's off to the real world. I'm in the best place I've ever been, and yet somehow I find myself thinking of you. Wondering if you'd be happy for me - if you'd even care at all. I have a "real" dad now too. I'm sure that will upset you, but it shouldn't. You never wanted to be a dad. It didn't make you happy. You resented me for holding you "hostage." Parenthood isn't for everyone, and it wasn't for you. Sometimes I wonder if it could have been. Maybe if things had been different. You felt like you had to make a choice between being a father and being gay - I wish you knew I wouldn't have cared that you were gay. You were my dad. I just wanted you to love me. But you resented the label of fatherhood and what you felt was preventing you from living the life you were born to and took it out on me. You were so angry with me. I remember so many nights silently crying so as to not wake you and make you angry again, cradling my swollen limbs, wondering how I could make you happy and what I was doing wrong. My new dad - he never gets angry with me. He's what I needed. He laughs with me when I'm happy, and he holds me when I'm sad. He looks after mum too. You should see the way he looks at her - it's beautiful - enough to make you believe in love again. I don't think I've ever met a man with a bigger heart. He wanted to adopt me, you know? So, he could really be my dad. But it's more complicated than signing a few papers. It's okay though, he's my dad in my heart. It feels nice having a "real" family. We play games together - it's nice. Did you find a new family? Or are you alone? I hope you're not alone. I guess I just want you to know I'm okay. I'm not mad anymore. I've stopped waiting for your apology - I know I won't get one, and that's okay. I forgive you anyway. Sometimes, I hear a song you used to sing with me, or I'll be at a bar and someone orders your drink - tonic and gin with lime - and I miss you. I wish you were here to see me doing well at school, to see me get my first internship, and one day start my own family - but you don't want to be, and I have to accept that. So, just know that it's okay. I wish you all the best, and know that I've found my best self, and part of that is in thanks to you. You gave me something to overcome, and now I'm stronger and more confident than ever. Because of you, I know how to appreciate the amazing father and life I have now. So, thank you for that. I hope you too are able to find acceptance and love within yourself, and that you were able to find the life you wanted - even without me in it. ✴
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FAMILY
“Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.� -Jon Bon Jovi 78 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
I’M SORRY... THERE’S NO HEARTBEAT One in four women will suffer a miscarriage after becoming pregnant. Sometimes early in pregnancy, sometimes when they are farther along. One woman braves the anguish to share her experience in joining the “secret community” she never wanted to be part of. WORDS BY BRIDGET COUSINO
I
remember trembling while taking the pregnancy test. Two blue lines appeared almost immediately. My heart was jumping out of my chest. We were pregnant...again, and I was so worried and anxious that I forgot to feel happy. My husband and I had agreed that when it was time to start our family, we would freely let it happen, even if that meant having our babies close together. Yet here I was freaking out about how I was going to be a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, etc., while raising two children under the age of 2. Elise had just turned 9 months old and I enjoyed EVERY minute of being pregnant with her. I felt wonderful the majority of my pregnancy and never felt more womanly and more proud of my body in my life. I didn't realize that I'd enjoy being pregnant so much. It truly was a beautiful experience and she was such an incredible blessing to us! I just kept thinking about wanting more time to get to know her, how was my body going to handle nursing while growing a baby, and when was I going to sleep?! I felt incredibly selfish and I was ashamed. My husband was reassuring but I could tell that he was worried too. I called my OB/GYN to let them know of my pregnancy and scheduled my twelve week appointment. I had major guilt about being so anxious and worried. I spent a lot of time assuring the baby that we loved and wanted him/her. Unfortunately, I felt pretty miserable during this pregnancy and it was evident to those closest to me. Elise's first birthday party was at the end of June and around my ten week mark so we shared our good news with friends and family. That day I also found out that some of our closest friends were expecting their second child and our due dates were two days apart. It was pretty awesome news! Everyone was happy and excited for us. We both went back to work and shared our news with our bosses and co-workers as well. >> HollAndLaneMag.com | 79
I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I had been walking around thinking that I was pregnant and telling people that I was pregnant and our baby's heart had already stopped beating??!!
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The Sunday before my twelve week appointment. I was having a really rough day. I felt awful and my mood wasn't much better. My husband had just expressed his frustration to me by saying, “you don't even act like you're pregnant.” I was hurt and angry, and he was right if we were comparing it to my last pregnancy. Fighting back tears, I got up to use the restroom. The next thing I remember is coming out of the bathroom to tell him, “there's blood.” We had an immediate sense of urgency, dread, guilt, and worry. He had me lie down and we called the on-call number for our OB/GYN. We were told how common spotting is during pregnancy and to try to relax. I could come in for an ultrasound the next morning. I seriously don't think we slept that night.
types of miscarriage, and pregnancy loss. I don't know how it was possible but my heart broke even more as I read the stories of loss and heartache. I found forum after forum and I couldn't stop reading. I wanted to validate these parents and their babies and share in their grief. I was now a new member of a 'secret community' that I didn't want to join. I kept trying to minimize our loss because others had experienced multiple loss or had been further along in their pregnancies. I kept trying to talk to God. I wanted to pray, but forgot how. I just kept asking Him to help me.
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I remember walking into the doctor's office feeling like I was in a fog. I tried to be lighthearted with the ultrasound tech as she worked to get measurements but I couldn't stop my voice or my body from shaking. I knew it wasn't good when she told us that she needed to do a vaginal ultrasound because the Doppler wasn't picking up a heartbeat but I quickly agreed and prayed with my whole body that our baby was just in the wrong position. Then the wind was knocked out of us when she said, “I'm sorry...there is no heartbeat, and your baby is only measuring at 8 weeks.” I honestly don't remember how I got up and walked out of there. I was crying so hard that I couldn't see straight or breathe. My husband kept hugging me and saying he was sorry. A doctor came in and told us how common miscarriage is and what I was experiencing was called, a “missed miscarriage,” which means that my body continued on with my pregnancy for 4 weeks before it recognized that our baby was no longer alive. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I had been walking around thinking that I was pregnant and telling people that I was pregnant and our baby's heart had already stopped beating??!! I didn't understand and along with the bazillion other emotions I was feeling, I felt morbid. I asked the Doctor what needed to happen next and he spoke about letting things happen naturally or scheduling a DNC. He said we didn't need to make a decision right away and that it was okay to call back in a day or so. We left with heavy hearts and feeling lost.
I don't remember falling asleep but I woke up in a lot of pain and knew that I needed to get into the bathroom immediately. It all happened so quickly and I felt like a child and didn't know what to do. There was so much blood and I couldn't stop shaking. I just sat on the toilet and cried and cried. Jim did his best to console me. I felt like a crazed person staring into the toilet wondering if our baby was in there. I started freaking out about not flushing the toilet and how I would get our baby out! When my mother heard how distressed I was, she grabbed a pair of latex gloves, a container, a small strainer and reacted without hesitation. A mama bear's instinct and unconditional love for her child and grandchild in action. There is no handbook for experiences like these so we just did the best we could. We blessed our angel baby with holy water and said our goodbyes. I found an excerpt that reminded me of my faith and read it out loud: "You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty – he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so that the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
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We began sharing our devastating news and received lots of well meaning, “at least you have Elise, it was God's plan, 12 weeks isn't that far along, I know EXACTLY how you're feeling, etc...”. It didn't help at all to hear these things, it fact it stung, badly. I was so much more grateful for those who shared a silent hug, held my hand, just said they were sorry, or cried with me. I learned very quickly of the type of support I would offer others moving forward. At home, I felt like a robot and just wanted to sleep. I spent time with Elise and tried to rest. I was exhausted but my mind was all over the place. I wanted to learn all that I could about miscarriage and how it was my fault that it was happening. I needed answers. I felt so naive and dumbfounded reading about all of the different 80 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
The coming days were somewhat of a blur. Jim was back to work and I was still bleeding, crying, and sleeping a lot. I went in for a check up a couple weeks later and was told that I still needed to pass a centimeter of tissue or I could end up with an infection. In hopes of avoiding a DNC, I was prescribed a medicine that would cause me to have contractions and bleed again. It was excruciating. I felt so numb. Once I was done with the medication, I went in for an ultrasound to make sure it had worked. I told Jim that I just couldn't wait for this to be over. The ultrasound showed that the medication had done it's job. But instead of feeling the relief that I thought I'd have, I was devastated that there was no longer any physical trace of our baby. I sat and cried in the parking lot for almost 20 minutes before I could drive home. I couldn't believe how truly empty I felt. >>
When I returned to work, I was able to function with much help from my closest friends. At home weeks had gone by and it wasn't getting any easier to cope. I felt alone, critical of myself, critical with how Jim was coping, terribly afraid that something bad was going to happen to Elise, not wanting to leave the house, not wanting to be in our bathroom; just broken. I couldn't understand being together for 11 years and not being able to connect with my husband like before. He asked me to go speak to a Priest with him. I didn't want to go at all but I went. I walked into our meeting with such an attitude. I was pretty much quiet the whole time and then I looked up and said, “ I just have one question. When does the Church expect me to be pregnant again?!!” The Priest looked me in the eye and kindly said, “you don't let me or anyone else tell you when that time is...” It was just what I needed to hear in that moment and it gave me a glimmer of hope. It was still hard for me to pray for myself but I kept trying. I realized that I needed some grief counseling both individually and with my husband. He agreed and for eight weeks we met with a therapist who among other things, specialized in perinatal grief and loss. I was starting to feel safer and starting to believe that things really were going to be okay.
Two weeks went by before I miscarried at home again. This time I knew what to expect and handled myself differently than the last time. I cried but this time I was more angry. I no longer trusted my body and if this is how I was going to be repaid for trusting Jesus, then I was pretty sure I knew where that left me. I was completely broken. We decided to take our baby's remains for some testing. It was a tough decision but we just wanted to know what we were possibly looking at moving forward. We waited two agonizing days and were told that it wasn't anything genetic that caused the miscarriage. Our baby was given back to us in a beautiful hand painted box. I didn't expect that and it was one of the nicest things that anyone had done for us during this time. I never expected that we'd be “here” again and there were things that I handled better and things that I handled worse this time around. We still got the well-meaning, “...at least you can have a child, maybe you're only supposed to have one...” and it still hurt and pissed me off. I was still deathly afraid of Elise getting hurt or me ruining her because of how I was handling myself.
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Four months after our loss, we were pregnant again. This time around, I tried to remain grateful and calm. I had learned the hard way last time and wasn't going to go down that road again. We went in for an early ultrasound around 6 weeks. This time we saw our sweet baby and heard his/her heartbeat. It was music to our ears! Once you see and hear the heartbeat, chances of a miscarriage reduce greatly. We were cautiously relieved and this time we only told a handful of people we were expecting again. I did my best to soak in every moment of being pregnant and not be fearful. We were asked to come back two weeks later to make sure things were progressing nicely. We couldn't wait to see and hear our baby again.
Except we wouldn't. The ultrasound tech quickly turned off the monitor and apologetically told us (again), “I'm sorry...there is no heartbeat, and your baby is measuring a week smaller than it should be.” I laid there with my hands covering my face and remember feeling like my tears were burning my skin. I just kept shaking my head and saying, NO! I wanted to leave but the nurse really wanted me to speak with a Doctor before leaving. I guess maybe she thought it would help. We were again told how common “this” is and until a woman has 3 miscarriages there's probably nothing to worry about in regards to conceiving and having healthy pregnancy. I don't remember the rest of the conversation because all I kept thinking was, it's nine days before Christmas and here we are again. How are we going to get through this again? I decided to go home and wait for things to happen naturally, not knowing how long my body would take this time. I hated that it was Christmas time but was grateful to be off work through the end of the year. I didn't leave the house much but I made my husband promise to still do our family traditions with Elise even if I wasn't with them. It was so hard.
My faith was tested in ways I never imagined and I wasn't proud of the way I dealt with it. I was finally able to talk with God and I let him know that if this was my cross to bear that I'd gladly do it...I just wanted to help someone else not feel alone or crazy! I told my husband that I needed a year to just be a wife and mother, to renew and strengthen my faith, and to be good to my body again. Our family and friends rallied around us again and loved us without judgment. Those who had survived loss like ours, reassured us and let us know that they understood. As much as I hated joining the “1 in 4” community, I am so grateful for all the love, support, guidance, prayers, silence, and acknowledgment of all of our babies. I have a beautiful statue of a baby sleeping in angel wings in our flower bed and we plant new flowers every Spring in their honor. I also wear an angel ring so I have something in their memory close to me daily. I'm thankful Elise was too young to understand exactly what was happening. I did let her see me cry and she knew that Mommy was sad and didn't feel well. I tried very hard to protect her from the darkness that I was experiencing, knowing that at one time, she was the reason the light inside me stayed alive. We are also beyond humbled and grateful that she became a big sister when we welcomed our son James Jr., nine days after her third birthday! ✴
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MISCARRIAGE STATISTICS
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Definition: A pregnancy that ends on its own within the first 20 weeks of gestation
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Most common type of pregnancy loss
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10-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage
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Most common cause of miscarriage is chromosomal abnormality
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Women who’ve had a previous miscarriage have a 25% of having another
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Increase in maternal age affects chances of miscarriage HollAndLaneMag.com | 81
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PHOTO DIARY: LIFE AS A MOM
Life as a stay-at-home mom in Southern California isn't fantastically glamorous or full of captivating moments, but it holds plenty of adventure. Spending the days playing in the sand with my two boys and husband, and making a loving, secure environment for them is truly a dream realized. Luke is an inquisitive four-year-old with a penchant for anything mechanic, doing chores, and being a protective and bossy older brother to his two-year-old brother, Wes. Regardless of the bossing around, Wes copies everything Luke does and has an enthusiastic interest in football and cookies. Motherhood has a great humbling affect. It has caused me to leave my selfish and trite inclinations behind, in exchange for the love and satisfaction a life full of service brings. It's my most cherished calling and blessing, and this is a part of our life story.
I love creating and preparing meals. Time in the kitchen is time well-spent (in my opinion, although that wasn't always my opinion), and it's even better when there are little sous chefs running around. Sure, it may take longer and the messes are larger, but I love seeing the look on the boys' faces when they successfully crack an egg or get to lick the spoon. It's those small bonding moments that hold the fondest memories. WORDS & IMAGES BY ABBEY RODRIGUEZ HollAndLaneMag.com | 83
(Above) After breakfast, we play and get crafty. Luke is currently learning to cut paper (riveting stuff !) and write his name, so I am constantly finding tiny snips of paper all over the house and pencil marks on the surface of the table. They are small reminders that life is physically chaotic and messy, but simple and treasured. I know in 10 years from now when they are teenagers, and life is mentally and emotionally chaotic and messy, I will look at the same table and miss these moments.
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(Left) Life with boys means many adventures into the forest with friends and capturing six-legged creatures. Our collection is growing at an alarmingly rapid place, and I'm considering opening a reptile pet shop (even though I refuse to touch half of them.) They teach me bravery in unanticipated ways, and life is filled with more focus and intention.
Oh, the blessed naptime! Once we've had lunch and one o'clock rolls around, heads hit the pillows and some downtime commences. Although, if I'm being honest, I end up falling asleep alongside Luke most days. A lady needs her beauty sleep, ESPECIALLY a mom!
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Whenever I peek my head through the door to check on Luke and Wes while they sleep, the words of my favorite song, "Life's An Hourglass" by Mindy Gledhill, play in my mind: "Close your eyes, sleepyhead, while angels linger in your dreams, and hold you in their feathered wings..."
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I've realized that most behavioral problems with these boys can be cured by feeding them, ample sleep, and lots of hands-free time where we are uninterrupted by gadgets and simply enjoying each other's company. (Fart jokes inevitably make their way into our hangouts, and warrant the most laughs.)
(Above) We usually find our way to the beach in the late afternoon and pack a picnic dinner to enjoy during sunset. The lull of the waves crashing against the sand is calming, and I love the smell of salt in our hair. It's basically free therapy, and another way to explore and get the wiggles out. The view isn't too terrible, either. ;)
(Left) "Celebrate what you want to see more of." I recently discovered this quote by Tom Peters, and it's a new motto by which I want to live our life. And what exactly do I want to see more of ? Love, kindness, appreciation, awareness, quality relationships, and experience, to name a few. This picture beautifully sums up all of those thoughts, and is one I will forever cherish. HollAndLaneMag.com | 87
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I'm tired at the end of the day and always ready to Netflix binge with a bowl popcorn. Being a mom is the hardest work I will ever do. There are many tears, stained clothes, frustrations and helpless moments, but those things for which we work the hardest are always the most valued and loved. My family is my world, and what a wonderful world it is.
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I’M A SINGLE MOM OF FOUR
Being a single mom is tough. Being a single mom of four? Tougher. But Claire manages to raise her children with strength, love, and positivity by showing that it’s the best way to live her life. WORDS & IMAGES BY CLAIRE CHRETIEN
B
eing positive goes a long way! My main goal in life is to bring happiness to those around me.
As a single mom of four, there are so many times, too many instances, that you just feel like crying and think: How can I resolve this problem, this issue, this situation. Often I have gone to bed wracking my brain to find solutions on my own. No one to consult. See, the trick is not just finding one solution. The trick is finding two to three solutions, as back up plans… just in case! As a single parent, my middle name has become ‘Miss Solution’. I have brought up my four kids to always find solutions regarding their questions, their challenges, or when trying to find themselves. I have three sons and one daughter. I always try to keep in mind that all children are different. They have their own special needs and own special personalities. We live in a world that is often not very warm and sometimes very harsh. I feel, we, as parents and adults, 90 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
can make a huge difference just by teaching our children what matters most in their hearts, and that is happiness. By doing so we, ourselves, need to be happy all the time. Yes it is hard, but it can be done. Happiness involves cleaning. Since 2007, I have been cleaning. When I say cleaning, I mean ‘friend-cleaning, relationships-cleaning, thought-cleaning, house-cleaning!’ The less baggage, the lighter the trip. Keep it simple. Simple is the best. It is such a relief to be surrounded by positive friends, positive relationships, positive thoughts, and a positive household. If you think positive, you are happy. If you feel positive, you reflect positivity. If you look positive, you release confidence and therefore, can accomplish anything. Your children will follow your example and start repeating your habits and share their happiness with their friends, and their families. What better way to live your life, right? Such a rewarding feeling. >>
My situation, my life, did not turn out the way I had dreamed of. I wish I could have had the fairytale story of having my four children with my one true Prince. Often I compared myself, and still compare myself, to Cinderella. Working hard, day in and day out, to make everyone around me happy - me last. My kids always came first and still do. Their happiness was, and is, very crucial to me. I noticed that no matter the age, if I was happy they were happy. If I was troubled, they were worried. To stay and keep happy you have to dedicate at least two hours of your day for you. It can be going to the gym or splurging in a hot relaxing bath, or it can be a brisk walk while listening to your favorite music, or even to go window-shopping. Another thing that makes me feel good is driving my truck with the windows down, feeling the air on my face and letting my hair fly in the wind. Whatever you do, do it for you. Do what makes you happy! It is so important to remember this strategy. Being positive is the remedy to so many things. It keeps you healthy, keeps you focused, and keeps you happy. Another trick that I highly recommend is meditation. I do it daily. I find that 10 minutes a day is the best thing to revive my energy.I do it in my bubble bath, on the bus, at my desk, or in my bed. Whenever I feel like I need rejuvenating I meditate.
Being a single parent of four had many restrictions, money-wise. I could not afford the overseas’ trips, I could not afford new bikes, new skates, etc. All I could afford was unconditional love, many many many hugs, smiles and kisses. Instead, we would go on picnics (and still do), play football, Frisbee, go to the beach, tobogganing, the simple stuff, the cheap stuff. Being single and together with my kids as a family was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, despite its challenges.
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Raising a 6 year old and a 2 year old alone, while renovating my house that was up for sale to move closer to my family, after a sad and long divorce, was NOT the plan. Raising twins and a 14 and 10 year old on my own, after another hard and long divorce, while trying to keep my head high, to this day, makes me proud. Being a single Mom, for now, makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Being a single mom, compared to sharing my four beautiful children married to the wrong man, not only once but twice, was the best decision ever. I realized that I was not happy seeing my ex-husbands unhappy. Their unhappiness meant that my children felt it and made us all as a family, unhappy. In a nutshell, being a single Mom could have been the best gift that life has given me. Of course I wish I had the perfect husband/soulmate. I wish I would have brought up my four amazing kids in full family happiness and lived life easier. I believe that there are hundreds of reasons why these situations are put on our paths. I believe that mine was to share my stories with many of you who deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated for who you are and the strength you have in being the best single Mom and Dad you are.
Today, my ex-husbands are happy with their girlfriends and I am happy with my children. I know one day I will find my soulmate and focus on my happiness first. Being a single mom and making a difference in helping others be happy is my destiny for now. Being a single parent has its ups and downs but we have to keep focusing on the ups and keep all of our dream boards updated. I create my dream boards on a yearly basis. It is an important project to do with your children and individually. Creating a ‘dream board’ is perfect for the soul and will bring you and your child closer by discussing their dreams and your dreams as well. Through those nine single years, I have learned to listen very carefully to the individual needs of my children, I have grown into a better Mom, a better woman. I have cried, sworn, written, breathed, screamed, prayed, read and wrote and read and wrote again and again… My nine years alone opened my eyes to my surroundings. I became involved in my children’s activities. I organized Christmas parties. The parents and kids were so appreciative of my time and work. I was consumed by happiness. A very rare strength overcame my body in an indescribable way. I believe that the love for my kids and my strength made us conquer it all. You can as well. Say it out loud, scream it out loud: I WILL CONQUER IT ALL WITH THE LOVE FOR MY CHILDREN AND MY STRENGTH!!! I WILL FOCUS ON MY HAPPINESS AND THE HAPPINESS OF MY CHILDREN!!!! I will contribute the best I know how and make a difference in their future.
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Remember, you are the role model. What they see they will remember for the rest of their lives. Represent calm, positive, happy and any other qualities you wish to pass on to your child. Make them the difference of our future. I know you can do it. ✴
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TRAVEL
“It is your passion that empowers you to be able to do that thing you were created to do.” -T. D. Jakes
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The Best U.S. Travel Sites
ARIZONA Traveling the United States offers many wonderful, breathtaking options. The US is unique in its varied climates and terrains, and has cities ranging from uptown to downhome. Following are a selection of great options for a weekend getaway or a weeklong retreat. WORDS & IMAGES BY TOM MATTINGLY
AUSTIN HollAndLaneMag.com | 93
ARIZONA
Sedona, AZ (Above) Two hours north of Phoenix, and an easy drive through the beautiful Sonoran Desert, Sedona sits just south of the breaking point in Arizona climates. Take in the red rock vistas, enjoy one of the many spas or resorts, and branch out to other local attractions such as Oak Creek Canyon, Montezuma’s Castle (opposite page) and the Grand Canyon. For an extra treat, rent a cottage and spend the week like a local-waking up to sunrise in the mountains, getting out of the crowds, and living amongst the glory of this amazing city.
Chicago, IL (Right) Featured in movies from Ferris Bueller to Home Alone, and everything in between, this vibrant city is a great place to spend a week enjoying cityscapes and local neighborhoods. Festivals abound throughout the summer; in the winter, watch for the Christmas Market. Take a river tour and learn about the architecture; stay in a boutique hotel (the Allegro is always a great choice) or a historic monument (the Palmer House lobby will wow, and the rooms are spacious and comfortable). Don’t miss out on the pizza-but stay away from anything you’ve heard of from 20 years ago. Ask a local or the hotel concierge where they take their family-the local places are always better than the known chains. And no trip is complete without a visit to the Field Museum and the Shedd Aquarium-both are incredible, and will help you create memories you’ll cherish for years. 94 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
CHICAGO
CHICAGO
AUSTIN Austin, TX (Right) Austin is 100% Texas, while also being the anti-Texas. “Keep Austin Weird” is a local mantra, followed closely by “please don’t move here”. While Austin grows larger every year, don’t let that stop you from visiting-Austin is like no where else. An amazing food scene (Gordough’s Donuts is a food truck gem, as is Lucy’s Fried Chicken), walking SoCo (South Congress Avenue), an amazing collection of unique shops for all tastes and budgets, and waiting with hundreds of others for bats to emerge from under a bridge are just a few of the fun times to be had. Just outside of town, the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center is a peaceful retreat, and when you don’t want peace, the music scene is incredible-from major festivals to local bars, there’s always a show to see. The Driskill is a good choice, albeit high end, for a comfortable stay; for more budget friendly options, Austin is another great place to rent a house for a few days. In season, a University of Texas Longhorns game is worth the trip. Austin is also the home to the best migas to be had-a breakfast dish of Mexican heritage that can change your life.
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Akron, OH Yes, Akron, OH. Akron has had years of bad luck with industries pulling out, but it’s also home to hidden castles and friendly people. Stan Hewitt Hall is the former home of the founders of Goodyear, and rivals any European manor house. Tours are offered daily, and for the more adventurous a “nooks and crannies” tour is offered showing the rarely seen corners of the 65,000 square foot home. Stay in a bed and breakfast-The O’Neil House is a great option, and the former home of the founder of General Tire. The innkeeper is amazing and offers a truly gourmet breakfast daily. Akron is also home to a growing microbrwery scene-indulge yourself with a tour, or find a favorite pub to spend an afternoon.
New York, NY The Big Apple-the icon of so many fantasies. Fashion, finance, art, history-it’s all here. For a great weekend trip, book a boutique hotel and see a show on Broadway-it’s absolutely pricey, and absolutely worth it, but there are options to help. The TKTS booth offers discounted tickets, and many hotels offer packages. Hit the Guggenheim for both an architectural and art icon; visit Rockerfeller Center and take in the view from the rooftop deck; see the murals at the Empire State Building, and of course visit the 9/11 memorial and Freedom Tower. Don’t forget that New York is a city of neighborhoods, and each offers a unique perspective on this city that we all know, even if from a distance. Take an afternoon to walk a street and visit the shops and restaurants; visit Central Park; take the ferry to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. There is so much to do in New York, and while the surroundings are often familiar, the vibe is constantly changing. Absorb the energy and have fun learning more about a place that’s an icon in American culture.
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KEY WEST Key West, FL A tiny island with a big personality, Key West offers everything from family fun to all-night dance parties. Flying in to Key West saves a lot of time, but driving from the Miami or Ft. Lauderdale airport through the keys, you can feel the stress leave with each bridge between the islands. Fleming Street offers entertainment of all varieties, and you’ll find something to match any taste. Speaking of taste, finding the best Key Lime Pie is never a bad activity…and the walking will help work off the calories. Reject anything green-real KLP should be the color of custard. Take the time to visit the Southernmost Point-a photo op only, but one you should do. Visit the Ernest Hemingway Home to learn more about the Titan of American literature, and the Key West Light to learn more about the island’s maritime history. Nightlife is easy to find and always fun; a sunset cruise offers a romantic opportunity, while the sunset celebration at Mallory Park offers a party. B&B’s are plentiful and comfortable, and offer all things of the Conch Republic just outside the door.
Boston, MA In this historic city, modern amenities are all around. Boston itself is a trip to enjoy-Red Sox games, Faneuil Hall, the Bull & Finch Pub (inspiration for “Cheers”) and many other sites offer opportunities to lose yourself in the New England culture. Day trips are easy from Boston. Salem, MA is a short drive north, with the Peabody Museum and the city’s famous witch trials; Strawbery Banke in Portsmouth, NH a couple of hours north, but offering an interpretive city spanning three centuries of history, often within the same restored home. The mansions of Newport, RI are just south, offering tours throughout the year and a chance to see how the upper class lived at the turn of the 20th century. Take an afternoon trip to Lexington, and see where the Shot Heard ‘Round the World took place. With many options, Boston will wow you with its history and its modernity.
BOSTON
BOSTON While all of these destinations are great choices, there are many more out there-visit a city you never thought you would, embrace the culture, meet the locals, and spend time not in the chains, but in the little, unknown, unique locations. Anyone can take a tour; make sure you take yourself on an adventure.
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The Most Instagrammable Places In
Zermatt, Switzerland WORDS & IMAGES BY KIMIKO MAINPRIZE
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The Glacier Mountain Paradise - Panoramic View
Take the Gondola from the village all the way to the highest point, the Glacier Mountain Paradise to witness the Matterhorn up close and personal, not to mention several other gorgeous peaks and alps.
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The Glacier Ice Palace
While up on the top of the mountain, take a quick elevator ride down to see the Glacier Ice Palace - a carved out wonderland of sculptures and architecture. As you walk through the glacier, take note of the diamond like sparkle around you - it’s pretty incredible.
The Wildlife
If you take a hike up to Blatten, you are sure to see many cows with their enormous bells around their necks, and herds of sheep carefully gated to passersby. They make you feel like you are transported back to simpler times.
Blatten
Not a huge fan of heights? Take a hike up one of the many trails from Zermatt to Blatten, a quick little hike, but a beautiful view. You will see sheep and cows along the way, and can rest at a few restaurants at the top to take in the surrounding beauty.
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The Grand Zermatterhof
Looking for a little history? Check out one of the first hotels built in Zermatt that helped it rise to its ski-holiday glory, The Grand Zermatterhof. A bit reminiscent of a Wes Anderson movie, the Grand Zermatterhof is both simple and stunning. It also has a luxurious restaurant attached that serves some of the finest cheese dishes in the village.
Gorner Gorge
If you aren’t afraid of heights, and can handle steep staircases and slightly rickety boards, then the Gorner Gorge is worth a visit. Only about 20 minutes from town, this is a crossing over the river that is sure to dazzle you with waterfalls and gorging rocks. This pass was first built in the early 1900s as a crossing and has been maintained ever since.
View of Zermatt
While on a hike to Gorner Gorge or Blatten, be sure to turn around and take in the entirety of Zermatt. It’s a chalet filled little village, but it looks so nicely snuggled in between the surrounding mountains. HollAndLaneMag.com | 101
The Matterhorn
It doesn’t really matter where you are in Zermatt, it’s hard to miss this stunning peak in all its glory. From the train ride into this car free town, to trails up to the peak, this is an incredible Mountain Top to witness - both in clear weather and when the clouds roll in around its peak.
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Coeurs des Alpes
(Above) If you are up for a little luxury, try staying at the Heinz Julen decorated Coeurs des Alpes. The most darling breakfast buffet is included at this boutique hotel owned and run by the MĂźller-Julen family. There is not a bad view from this stunning hotel, not to mention the entrance through a cave makes you feel like a movie star.
Woli
(Left) A trip to Zermatt wouldn’t be complete without a quick picture with Woli, the mascot of Zermatt. This little guy can be found at Guest Services at the bottom of the village, and even at the top of the Glacier Mountain Paradise.
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C l i c k o n any n am e b elo w to f i nd o u r contr i b u tors aro u nd the web.
AMY COOK, Books Wife and mother by day, nerdy bookworm by night. Her superpower is substitute teaching middle schoolers. Lover of wine, literature, pie, and all things Gone With The Wind.
ERICA MUSYT, Movies Erica is a 30-something Virginia native who is passionate about family, friends, and the movies! She buys books faster than she reads them, loves ladybugs and all things purple. A movie star at heart, Erica is delighted to be a contributor to the Holl and Lane movie section!
MICAH CHAPLIN, Music By day, Micah works in the insurance industry, but she’s also a part-time librarian and bartender. She is an author and blogger with a passion for baseball, music, and craft beer. A native Iowan, she goes to more concerts than movies and occasionally serves as merch girl for musicians passing through her city.
IVY O, Beauty Singer, blogger and recovering perfectionist, Ivy is also French grade school teacher by day who has a shameless affinity for all things fashion, beauty, food, photography and pockets. You’ll most likely find her browsing her favourite clothing and beauty stores at her local mall, or with her nose in a good book and a soy latté in hand.
MEGAN DECKER, Style Megan and her husband live in Portland with their amazing dog, Rico. She has worked in fashion for the last 10 years and lives and breathes it. Other aspects of life that she has a passion for are: exploring new restaurants, music, outdoor activities, traveling, animals and community involvement.
KELLY AGNEW, Recipes Millennial, yoga enthusiast, flexitarian, healthy eater and exercise addict. Kelly is a marketer by day and a lifestyle blogger by night. She is passionate about inspiring women to take control of their lives by balancing nutrition, exercise and general well-being. She shares her stories in hopes to inspire others to live holistically and fully.
CHRISTINE CONTANTSIMARD, Recipes
JENNA SHOLINDER, RHN, Recipes
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Christine is currently studying to be a Pastry Chef at San Francisco Cooking School. Once she graduates, she hopes to work somewhere in Europe. Last year, Christine and her husband moved from Ottawa, Canada to San Francisco, California.
Jenna Sholinder lives outside Vancouver in Mission BC. She is surrounded by farms and fresh produce which is often reflected in her recipes. Jenna is an Registered Holistic Nutritionist and received her Registered Holistic Nutritionist designation from the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition. She runs her food blog as well as a general nutrition practice with an interest in pre-natal health.
C l i c k o n any n am e b elo w to f i nd o u r contr i b u tors aro u nd the web.
CATHERINE SHORT, Recipes
EDEN COIRO, Fitness Eden Coiro is a fitness professional voted “Boston’s Best Exercise Instructor” by The Improper Bostonian, and winner of “Best Fitness For Moms” by Boston’s A-List. As a mother of three children under three she finds creative ways to stay fit, involve her children in her healthy lifestyle and keep a positive outlook on the three-ring-circus that is her life.
SARAH WISSINGER, DIY Sarah is a project assistant by day and blogger by night. She co-authors The Surznick Common Room blog with boyfriend, Nick, where they share DIY projects, delicious recipes, home decor, budget-friendly fashion, favorite books, and more! You can find her singing and dancing at a concert or binge-watching a Netflix show!
KRYSTAL KRISTIANSEN, DIY Krystal is a self-proclaimed DIY addict, Wife and Mama from Atlantic Canada. She loves comfy, lived in spaces, appreciates a good cup of coffee and isn’t afraid of a little (or a lot) of colour in her designs! When she’s not at the park with her handsomes, she’s in the workshop, or blogging projects at mintygreendream. com.
JESS DOWNEY, DIY Jess Downey is a freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, stationery store owner, and DIY-er. She’s a former Brooklynite who now lives in the Midwest with her husband and dog, Brooklyn. Most days you can find her creating crafts and tasty food and drinks and writing on her lifestyle blog, Chaotic & Collected. On other days, she’s pinning things to cook or craft, eating bacon, drinking beer, or watching Food Network.
NICOLE BEDARD Photographer
MOLLY WANTLAND Photographer
STEPHANIE LAGERMANN Photographer
Lifestyle blogger, full-time adventurer and amateur baker. In her blog, a short blonde, she shares musings on life, style, adventures in gluten-free baking and beyond. She strives to live more graciously than yesterday and to grow in her faith each day. For Catherine, it’s important to stretch her mind, travel far and always have a stash of dark chocolate.
Nicole is a Commercial, Editorial and Lifestyle Photographer focusing on Family and Children. She began her photography career in the sports/ fitness industry, which has provided her a unique skill set to capture quick playful moments and fun facial expressions of energetic little ones.
Molly is a family and portrait photographer in Middle Tennessee, with a love for family, friends, and Oldies music. Her intent in each session is to photograph real personalities, genuine emotions, and those ‘small moments’ that make life so sweet!
Stephanie is a self-taught photographer who enjoys capturing life in her lens. Aside from photography she enjoys bookstores and collecting coffee mugs. She is also slightly obsessed with her dog, Walter.
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C l i c k o n any n am e b elo w to f i nd o u r contr i b u tors aro u nd the web. Writing Contributors
Photo Credits
Abbey Rodriguez http://www.alongabbeyroad.com/
Kimiko Mainprize http://sliceofheavenloft.blogspot.ca
Addie Perkins https://instagram.com/addie_perkins/
Krystal Kristiansen http://mintygreendream.com
Aire Plichta-Reese http://sparkleeveryday.tumblr.com/
Megan Decker https://instagram.com/zyla2decker
Alaina Isbouts http://www.soalaina.com
Melyssa Griffin http://thenectarcollective.com/
Alissa Muntain https://www.instagram.com/muntain_5/
Micah Chaplin http://unabashedly--me.blogspot.com
Amy Cook https://www.facebook.com/amysusancook
Molly Wantland http://www.simplyMphotography.com
Bridget Cousino
Rachel Perkins http://rachelperkins.webs.com
Page 62 - Nicole Bedard http://www.nicolebedardphotography. com/
Rebecca Jaffe http://www.rebeccajimagery.com
Page 69 - Jacky Mitrius http://www.howlandrose.com/
Robin Grames
Page 71 - Stephanie Lagermann https://www.instagram.com/inherlens/
Carrie Aquino http://www.evolvebarreyogapilates.com Catherine Short http://ashortblonde.com Christine Simard http://gourmetine.com
Sarah Hartley http://www.sarahhartley.net
Claire Chretien
Sarah Wissinger http://www.thesurznickcommonroom. com/
Eden Coiro Http://MindBodyBaby.com Elizabeth Silva http://mostlyforkeeps.com/ Erica Musyt http://www.lookingtothestars.com Ivy O http://www.findingtheglitter.blogspot.com Jenna Sholinder http://realfoodwanted.com Jess Downey http://www.chaoticandcollected.com/ Jillian Bremer http://www.sweetandspark.com/ Kelly Agnew http://www.kmnutritionandwellness.com 106 | Holl & Lane, Issue 6
Skylar Blackwell Tom Mattingly
Photo Contributors
Stephanie Lagermann https://www.instagram.com/inherlens/ Nicole Bedard http://www.nicolebedardphotography. com/ Molly Wantland http://simplymphotography.com/ Jacky Mitrius http://www.howlandrose.com/
Cover - Jacky Mitrius http://www.howlandrose.com/ Page 6 - Nicole Bedard http://www.nicolebedardphotography. com/ Page 22 - Molly Wantland http://simplymphotography.com/ Page 30 - Stephanie Lagermann https://www.instagram.com/inherlens/ Page 39 - Nicole Bedard http://www.nicolebedardphotography. com/
Page 78 - Jacky Mitrius http://www.howlandrose.com/ Page 82 - Nicole Bedard http://www.nicolebedardphotography. com/ Page 92 - Nicole Bedard http://www.nicolebedardphotography. com/ Back Cover - Jacky Mitrius http://www.howlandrose.com/
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