MILONGA CODIGOS YOUR ULTIMATE GUIDE THROUGH A MILONGA
PREPARED FOR YOU BY
TANGO GENTLEMAN
HOW MUCH RULES? There seem to be two extremes inside tango community. One with the 100% strict view about the milonga codigos, where men and woman should sit separately at the milonga and the other one with less respect for the “old” rules, enforcing more “youthful spirit” to tango communities. No matter with which group you can relate more, tango is a social dance and this simple fact of our need to co-exist with others, gives us some obligation to follow certain rules of behaviour inside the community.
If you don’t like traditional milongas, simply skip them. But if you go there, respect the rules. There are many different events and dancing venues, everybody can find something for themselves. Still, if you happen to be a person, who has a hard time following any type of rules, you can certainly respect other people and your dance partners. So here it is – a navigation tool through old and modern, do’s and dont’s, tips and tricks to surviving a milonga with a happy face
BEFORE MILONGA Shower, shave, take care of your hair so it doesn’t interrupt your partner during the dance. Dress nice Smell nice. Perfume is a true delight if it’s nice and not too heavy. Men, have an extra shirt with you. Have mints in your pocket. Turn down the ring tone on your mobile phone (or other devices). Know the music, at least the main orchestras. Why? You need to know your dancing preferences at least, so you can give your best to your dance partners.
MBER E M E R
AT THE
N R E MOD
MILONGA-PART 1 Remember, everybody sees you, you are observed from the first minute you walk into the room. Look your best! Greet the organizer. Don’t change your clothes at the milonga. If necessary, do so in the rest room. Change your shoes away from the tables. Sometimes it’s even possible to “walk in” with tango shoes on, it depends on the venue and weather conditions. Observe the room, tables, dancers, find a seat. Greet and meet friends. Don’t be in a hurry to dance. Observe first. Be present, if you want to dance, show the intent, focus on the person you want to dance with. If you are with friends, stop talking during cortinas (a short piece of non-tango music between two tandas) and use the opportunity or cabaceo or at least let others do so. Smile, be confident, don’t beg for a tanda (3 or 4 tango songs in a row). Before asking or saying yes to a tanda, listen to the music. Is this really a tanda you want to dance? Don’t be afraid to say no, especially if the invitation to dance is rude or inappropriate. Don’t take it personally if you receive a “no”. If you get turned down, don’t ask a person sitting besides. It looks like you really don’t care who you dance with. So, is cabaceo a risk? Sure, you need to know the music, your capabilities and ladies preferences. Never teach at the milonga. But it is very nice to say, that you’ve enjoyed the tanda with a person.
AT THE MILONGA-PART 2 Pay special attention with couples arriving at the milonga and sitting there together. ◦If they sit at the table together, they only dance together. ◦If the man in the couple dances with other woman, other men can invite his partner. ◦If a male and female friends come together, they sit separately, so it’s clear they are not a couple. Man can walk around the room, women remain at their table, so it’s easier for men to find them and invite them to dance. It is always man who asks for a dance, never a woman. This is actually meant to protect a woman to be hurt by being turned down. Good dancer only dancer with other good dancers. Why is this important? As Javier Rodriguez once put it, if an average dancer wants to dance with the best dancers, he or she needs to impove, it is important that people want to improve and they will not improve, if they have no reason to do it. (Check this out – “Hierarchy Among Dancers” https://movementinvitesmovement.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/ja vier-rodriguez-castration-and-more/ ) Skilled dancers dance at the edges of the dance floor, beginners or less skilled dance in the middle of the dance floor.
MBER REME
L A C I S S A L C Y R E V
HOW TO PICK WITH WHOM TO DANCE? How is this person dressed? ◦Shoes can reveal a lot about the level of dancing and technique. Snickers don’t show the best of technique, it’s easy to cheat balance in snickers. The same applies for low heels. ◦Selection of the dress for the evening shows the amount of respect. Why is this important? It is the first sign of respect you’ll get in the embrace too. QUESTION
IS THERE AN X-FACTOR?
•Look at the embrace. Does it look comfortable? •Look at the eyes, face expression during the dance. Is the partner enjoying this tanda? Is the person completely focused on the partner or are their eyes wandering around, looking for the next “victim”? •Does the person know the music, does he understand the rhythm, phrases in tango? •Does the person respect the ronda and other dancers?
CABACEO
INVITING, ACCEPTING AND TURNING DOWN A TANDA
DO'S & DONT'S If you don’t want to dance, subtly look away or turn away your head. Leaders, if a lady says she wants a break, trust her intentions and don’t take it personally. If you see two people talking, don’t interrupt the conversation to do a cabaceo. If they want to dance, they need to be active and present. Let people decide which tanda they want and with whom. Don’t invite by asking directly. Why not? Because people might be focusing on dancing this tanda with somebody else and you might interrupt their cabaceo. In other words, don’t interrupt people while they are subtly looking away, actively trying to avoid turning down anybody. What if you are in the middle of conversation with somebody and you want to dance with them? That is a tricky one, but here are solutions to specific situations: ◦Always ask with a nod. If she responds, you are good to go. ◦ If she is actively looking at you, yes, do a cabaceo. ◦ If she doesn’t look at you, you obviously can’t ask her with a not and here is your answer about this tanda. ◦ If she looks away during the cortina, it means she wants to dance with somebody else. Don’t tap her on the shoulder and ask directly. If you say yes to a tanda, do so sincerely, respect your partner, show appreciation. If you are not happy in a tanda, it’s your poor judgement of the partner’s skills and you should never display your dissatisfaction publicly or to your partner. Ladies, when you accept a tanda, remain at your seat and wait for the man to escort you to the dance floor. This is important to avoid misunderstandings about who is inviting who ... Men, if she nods, go to her table or seat and escort her to the dance floor.
CABACEO IN SHORT INVITING, ACCEPTING AND TURNING DOWN A TANDA
If a person does not look at you and you can not use cabaceo, don’t jump in front of her face and don’t ask for a tanda with words. If cabaceo does not “work”, there is no tanda and that’s it.
ON THE DANCEFLOOR Start dancing after the first few beats and remember, you dance with the room, not just your partner. Always dance in the counter clockwise direction. Keep the distance to the next couple in ronda. Don’t overtake another couple’s dancing line. Don’t pass other couples on the dance floor. Don’t zig-zag among couples on the dance floor. If nothing else, at least respect your follower enough, to not move her like a tank or use her as a live shield for protection. Leaders, don’t walk backwards. Never switch partners during the tanda. Don’t communicate with others during the tanda. Keep your focus on your partner, don’t greet and meet friends outside the dance floor. Don’t leave your follower alone on the dance floor. Keep your’s and followers feet on the floor! Avoid boleos, voleos, ganchos … Why? Respect other dancers on the floor. Dance with the room, not just with your partner. If you respect all written above, but still hit other couple on the dance floor, apologize sincerely, make sure that everybody is ok. It is leader’s duty to keep the follower safe and vice versa, it is follower’s duty to protect the leader from bad situations with not following and trusting in his lead. Stop dancing when a song ends, release the embrace and wait for the following song
AFTER A TANDA Say thank you after the end of the tanda. Thank you in tango always means end of a tanda. Don’t response with: “you’re welcome”. Don’t dance during cortinas, clear the dance floor. Men, escort the ladies back to their table/seat. Ladies, let yourself be escorted. Freshen up, check your hygiene.
Dancing more than one tanda with somebody can indicate something more than just a friendship.
WHAT IF
N TIO S E QU
G N I T O O H S E L B U O TR
NOTHING WORKS? It helps if you go to a milonga with a friend you can dance with but seat seperately. In this way you can get a good tanda to start a milonga and others can see you on the dance floor. Dress well, a seductive dress for ladies and a nice shirt and a jacket for men helps too. When you don’t want to dance, do something, don’t look bored. Going to a bar or to a rest room to freshen up, is a good way to entertain yourself and meet other people. Sit in the way so you can look at the dance floor. This is how others can see you and you get a good look at what is going on on the dance floor. Ladies, always sit at the same table. This will make it easier for men to find you. Sometimes the room prevent us from getting a good view to do the cabaceo. Men, if something in the room is blocking you, move closer, stand next to the lady you want to cabaceo. Experienced dancers circulate the room constantly and they never complain about the room, lightening etc. Choose a specific partner for a specific tanda. For example, dancers usually don't dance milonga tanda with everybody. If you meet a person for the first time, start dancing after the first or the second song in a tanda. Vice versa, sometimes it can be offensive to a experience leaders if you invite time only to a third song in a tanda, because it signals, that you don’t want to dance the whole tanda with them. It helps if you make friends in the community or at the milonga, this is how you can “reserve a tanda”. Smelling nice always helps.
SOURCES AND FURTHER READING COPYRIGHT © TANGO GENTLEMAN ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, OR TRANSMITTED WITHOUT A BRIEF QUOTATIONS PHOTOS USED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE FOUND ON GOOGLE AND LABELED WITH A PERSMISSION TO RE-USE. SOURCES AND FURTHER READING BOOK: GUSTAVO BENZECRY SABÁ: EMBRACING TANGO. TECHNIQUES AND METAPHORES BETWEEN TANGO AND LIFE. BLOG: TANGO THERAPIS: HTTP://TANGO-THERAPIST.BLOGSPOT.SI/P/TANGO-ETIQUETTE.HTML BLOG: TANGO SALÓN ADELAIDE; HTTP://TANGOSALONADELAIDE.BLOGSPOT.SI/2013/03/HOW-TO-CHOOSE-DANCE-PARTNER. HTML BLOG: MOVEMENT INVITES MOVEMENT: HTTPS://MOVEMENTINVITESMOVEMENT.WORDPRESS.COM/2011/07/19/JAVIER-RODRIGUEZCASTRATION-AND-MORE/ BLOG: TANGO STORIES AND MUSINGS (BY NEY MELO): HTTP://NEYMELO.COM/2011/10/23/THE-DOS-AND-DONTS-OF-INVITING-AND-ACCEPTING/ BLOG: TANGO DANCE CONCEPTS: HTTP://WWW.TANGOCONCEPTS.COM/ETIQUETTE.HTML BLOG: IN SEARCH OF TANGO: HTTP://YANGNINGYUAN.BLOGSPOT.SI/2013/12/MILONGA-ETIQUETTE.HTML TANGO GENTLEMAN: TRANSLATION OF LONEWALKER BLOG POST IN SLOVENE: HTTP://WWW.TANGOGENTLEMAN.SI/2015/12/01/MILONGA-IN-54-POINTS/ ORIGINALLY POSTED ON TANGO GENTLEMAN: HTTP://WWW.TANGOGENTLEMAN.SI/2016/03/09/MILONGA-CODIGOS-CODES-PRAVILA/