Respectful Hosting

rEspEctfUL hosting AmiDst A worLD pAnDEmic

KimBErLy EvAns

If 2020 has taught us anything, it is the importance of connection and not taking any moments for granted. We are all eager to gather with friends, family and loved ones this holiday season. But there may be some equally anxious feelings coming up as well.

Entertaining during the holidays is a time-honoured tradition of bringing the ones we love together, having fun and connecting in meaningful ways. However, even at the best of times, the preparation for a party, attention to detail and requests from guests can turn good intentions into stressful planning. Adding in health and safety protocols during a world pandemic can make this feel even more daunting.

We need to be cautious of selecting our guests based on our circle of exposure, as well as being honest in understanding the number of people our homes can reasonably hold while allowing for distancing between guests.

Follow these simple steps, to make entertaining at home this season not only fabulous but exceptionally meaningful.

Photo Credit: Tammy Zdunich Photography

Communicate Clearly

The host is responsible for setting the tone of the party. Before inviting guests, it is important to check on current guidelines with the local health authority to determine what is allowed and what isn’t. It is important to note the maximum allowance, but take into account the size of your home. You need to think about how many people can you comfortably (and safely) accommodate.

When sending out the invitation, clearly state what to expect at the party. For example:

“We are excited to open our home to a small gathering. Eight invitations have been extended and we hope you can make it!”

Seating can be arranged with social distancing in mind. Masks and sanitizer should be offered. A host shouldn’t be offended if a party invite is turned down. Health and family situations may require additional precautions.

‘In order for this holiday party to be fun for everyone, please ensure that you do not have a fever, haven’t been in contact with someone who is sick, and are feeling healthy.’

‘You are welcome to bring a mask. There will also be extra masks available to ensure everyone feels comfortable.”

‘We will have a hand sanitizer station at the front door, so please use this when you arrive.’

‘As much as we would love to hug, we are still staying socially distanced and you can expect a big smile along with an air hug upon your arrival.’

If guests choose to not attend, don’t take it personally. If this past year has taught us anything, it is to accept what we cannot control. Guests might even choose to send a thoughtful hostess gift to let them know they were grateful for the invitation and wish they could have attended.

etiquette upon arrival

If you have communicated clearly prior to the party, this should be really simple.

Appetizers and servings can be individualized and offered in ways that minimize handling by guests.

Welcome guests and follow the procedure you had communicated. “Welcome! Coats can be hung in the front closet. I sure wish I could come in for a hug, but this smile and air hug will have to do!” This can even lead into using hand sanitizer. “You need to try this new holiday scented hand sanitizer that I found. Doesn’t it smell delicious?” Keeping conversation light- hearted can help remove any awkwardness.

Setting up Your Home

With physical distancing and safety at top of mind, this can naturally happen by creating a flow from different points in your home. Ensure that the space is clear and furniture has been placed accordingly in the high traffic areas like the entrance. Food and beverage stations are situated to allow for social distancing so everyone attending can feel comfortable.

In times of uncertainty and worry, a little kindness goes a long way. A guest can bring a hostess gift. A host can send a little something home with guests to thank them for coming.

be Compassionate, but Speak up

It is important for you, as the host, to make your guests feel comfortable. Etiquette extraordinaire Emily Post suggests that if someone hasn’t given you enough space or is doing something to make you feel uncomfortable, there are perfectly acceptable ways to address this in a friendly way. Make sure you have an upbeat tone to your voice with no edge whatsoever. (Think Glinda the Good Witch or Oprah Winfrey!) If you don’t receive the reaction you were hoping for, you can either move to another room or step aside until they move and wait, keeping as much distance as possible. A few phrases that might work are:

‘Excuse me, Phyllis. The line starts back there. Everyone’s just trying to stay safely distanced.’

While stepping back: ‘Sorry, Brad. I’m trying to keep six feet away.’

‘Oh hi, Gordon. After you, please,’ said cheerfully.

Food and beverage

Creating food and beverage items that can be handled individually will allow guests to help themselves with minimal contact. If hors d’oeuvres are passed around or set up buffet style, ensure that each item is individually packaged or skewered so that only one needs to be touched at a time rather than a serving dish with a common utensil that everyone touches. Pre-pour wine so that guests can pick up a glass or have a bartender on site so that only one person is touching

Skewers are a great way to create an interesting table, but also reduce the need for common serving utensils.

the items and can safely pass the drinks to the guest when requested.

entertain with Purpose

Purposeful entertaining makes a good party great. Hosting guests in your home means you get to make connections, introduce people to each other with thoughtful details and add sparks of insightful conversation to allow everyone to get to know one another better. For example:

‘If you found $100 on the floor in an empty room, what would your first thought be about what you would spend it on?’ ‘Where is the first place you plan to travel next— when we can travel again?’

make it memorable

After your guests have a lovely time in your home, connect with them afterwards to make a lasting memory. Print a photo from the party or use a classic handwritten card to let them now it meant a lot they came, and wish them joy this season.

Entertaining with purpose and building relationships with friends and loved ones is all about showering guests with thoughtfulness, kindness and love.

Kimberly Evans

Beverages can also be pre-poured to ensure only one person touches the glasses and bottles.