Welcome to
SAUCE #008 It seems that the harder times get the more we skaters thrive. I mean, if the world became a wasteland, skaters would be in heaven. The less money everyone has, the more spots we get to skate. What a deal for us! This is also a time of change. We have a new President and big time companies are going belly up, resulting in many new beginnings. Out with the old and in with the new. It’s obvious the previous way we were operating hasn’t worked so let's give the newer, younger generation of companies and citizens a shot at success, so far so good. This past presidential election turned out the largest amount of younger voters than ever before, and look what happened- a good quality president (so far). Why should we bail out big time companies who blew it? I mean, if they can't manage their multi billion dollar companies why should we the people have to pay for that? Give the new guy a chance and support him/her. This is the battle America is fighting with itself. What about the “Trade and Barter” system? To hell with all the money anyway! But then again, skating all the killer new spots seems to defuse the situation all together. Fuck it! Just go skate and enjoy life. It’s a great time to be a skater! Cheers, -PodPictured on front cover: Ben Carnes Blunt Fakie SF,CA
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SAUCE skateboard zine P.O. Box 42124 Portland, Oregon 97242 www.sauceskateboardzine.com sauceskateboardzine@hotmail.com www.myspace.com/sauceskateboardzine
A Barfing –Pod- 50kent photo ‘05
Take Back the Park!! Or
WAR ON GOONS, the Battle for Glenhaven. Words/Art: Bruce Knophler
Photography: -Pod-
Hey dude, do you feel like skating Glenhaven? Yeah, yeah, you heard me. Like Judd said, “did I stutter?” That’s right, I said it. I know, I know. You're way too cool for skateparks these days and that place is so full of goons it is rarely worth skating anyways. Right, right, right. But you know what? That place is actually fun as shit if you can ever get it to yourself once in a while (or even just without the BMX fuck heads who are there blowing it on a daily basis). The problem is the only time I can get it to myself is about 8:30 in the morning on weekends (if I happen to not be hung over that day) just shortly after I finish backing one out, grab a cup of joe, and haul ass to the park to get a couple of runs in before the bizarro show begins. C’mon, man, don’t act better. For Christ' sake it’s a Dreamland park that is actually in Portland’s city limits. If you think those guys are gonna geek it in Portland you're seriously retarded. You know who is really geeking it though? The skateboarders. That’s right buddy. I said it. The skaters are the ones guilty of not having the courage to strap on a pair and handle their shit at the skatepark properly.
Well, actually the one most responsible is the city of Portland for not making it skateboarding only in the first fucking place (not to mention writing the NO PEGS rule on a sign about the size of my nuts and then posting it 8 feet in the air on top of a damn pole). Reading the rules sign at Glenhaven is like trying to read a goddamn fortune cookie at Hung Far Low’s. Jesus, I think everyone in PDX really is stoned. Who the fuck’s idea was that? I guess it was probably the same mental giant who thought instead of providing restrooms, a 24-hour Honey BucketTM conveniently located between 82nd Ave (which, if you did not know, is the most notorious street for the “working ladies” in Portland) and the skatepark would be ideal. Honest to God, that is the only port-a-potty I have ever seen in worse shape than the ones at Burnside. Holy shit, you do not want to even think about what kind of party goes down in there on Saturday night. Hepatitis central baby!! Let me tell ya folks, if lil’ Jimmy has to pinch one off at the skatepark, he may want to just hold it or skate across the street to El Burrito Loco. Anyhow, I digress, back to the point. How come the local Portland skaters have thrown in the towel and handed over the rights to such a great skatepark they worked so hard for? To be perfectly honest, I am not sure myself. So who runs the park? From my own personal observations it appears to belong to a bunch of overweight half ass BMX’ers, teenage smokers, and mentally retarded 8year-olds riding any possible contraption on wheels other than an actual skateboard. I swear to god it is like Multnomah County is trying to establish a Mongoloid colony on 82nd Avenue or something. After all of the work done to get these parks built in the first place, this is all the intestinal fortitude the skaters of PDX got? Are we just gonna surrender the best park (other than Burnside) in the city limits? Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot. Skateparks are so 1998. None of your sponsor me tapes are even gonna get a second look if you're not going to the floods in some tight pants or you film your lines at the public park. Well don’t go punk rockin’ yourself out of a good time just yet, pal. Those of us born without trust funds actually work for a living and would love to just get a session in after work once in a while without having to fight traffic (or some janky-ass fucked up run up) when we really just want to cruise around and crack ollies for an hour. I mean it,s bullshit!!! The park is five minutes from my work but I never go during the week because as soon as school gets out its like hanging out in the parking lot of a God Damn Korn concert or something. How can we change this, you ask? Well just like Obama I am spreading a message of hope. So what does your ol’ buddy Bruce propose? SKATER’S ONLY NIGHT! I’m fuck’n serious man. Starting right now, every Wednesday evening grab your homies and head down to the park to skate your asses off!!! I’m callin in all of the troops. The shitbags, tech kids, early grabbers, longboarders, pseudosurfers, and even the kick turn army. Goose, Maverick, what’s your 20? Call up the Ice Man and set a direct flight pattern for Baconhaven skatepark. We need all the help we can get!!! I don’t care if you ride a longboard, skate in biga bee keeper’s suit, or are just the local 12-year-old with the mean ass “fatty to flatty.” man. We need
your help dude. As long as your shred sled has four wheels (and no handle bars) you're in. THIS SHIT IS FOR REALS. The Bacon boys have been putting up a valiant fight but they are pinned down and taking heavy losses and calling for back up. STAT! Rocco Caravelli Smith Grinds the Bowl, aka: The Ash tray
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Most importantly, when you skate, act like you got a pair and skate around the park as fast as you can. The faster the better. This practice will scare off all of the little tards on unidentified rolling contraptions and can even help to keep the BMX dildos from monopolizing the entire skatepark. In fact, skate so fast and “Bio” that you lose your breath and have to take a rest. Now, while you are catching your breath, take the time to give some pointers to a few of these aforementioned fucktards. I’m not talking about being a pad nanny or a MARK. I’m talking about telling a few of these dip shits how to behave in a Goddamn public skatepark. You know, simple lessons about using common sense and paying attention to the little things like STOP THROWING YOUR FUCKING CIGARETTE BUTTS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BOWL! Or, get the fuck out of the middle of the skatepark if you are going to have a conversation with your blown out high school sweetheart. Can’t you guys go finger bang behind the dumpsters or something? (Have you seen these teenage girls trolling for dudes at the skatepark after school? They look more Haggard at 15 than most of the bar flies at the Sandy Hut do at 27. I guess that is what a steady diet of Carl’s J.R. and reality T.V. will do for you.) Speaking of ghetto eats, who the fuck keeps leaving their shitty-ass McDonalds wrappers and trash strewn all over the bowl? For Christ’s sake, if you are stupid enough to eat that shit please be smart enough to hide the evidence. Oh yeah! Evidence! I almost forgot. Last week I was skating the park and some local teenage goons were having a Reefer “Pow Wow” right underneath the tree located about 15 feet west of the park. That shit is seriously not acceptable Now don’t get me wrong, the Bruce praises “Jah” and all that shit but did
-Pod“SKATE” parks are made for “SKATEBOARDS” not bikes! Skateparks are built for skaters by skaters. Bikers, go build your own “BIKE” parks. Damn, get it together already!
Rocco Caravelli, Crailslide
you guys happen to notice the soccer Mom standing 10 feet away? Yeah, that one over there. The one who drove up in the teal Subaru with her wussafied uber P.C. Portland husband. They are the ones who appear to be at the skatepark to support their goofy looking kid but are secretly praying he will eat shit just hard enough to scare him away from skateboarding forever (and maybe start playing something more sensible like La Crosse instead). In addition, they are just looking for an excuse to write a letter of complaint to the city and start making some pissed off phone calls to close the park down. I am not shitting you, dude. I have seen it happen before. Just ask the kids in P.V. Arizona who lost their skatepark (one of the better original parks in the Valley of the Scum). Fuck man, roll that shit up in a Euro next time and go take a walk around the softball field or something (or maybe just into on-coming traffic on 82nd avenue.) C’mon skaters, get your shit together, cuz I am tired of this crap. I am no longer afraid to skate the closest park to my house because of a bunch of retarded kids and ignorant BMX fucktards. Now get your shit together, strap on a pair, grab the shred sled, and head to Glenhaven (Baconhaven) to join the Bruce in this WAR ON GOONS. And for your information, wars are won by fighting one battle at a time. If we can pull this off and take back Wednesday nights, maybe we can spread skaters-only night to two days a week, then three, then all week. Then we move on to Pier, and eventually push them across the river into Vancouver. I believe there is a possibility that at this point we will be able to begin negotiations and work to create a BMX/Retard reserve within the "Couve’s” city limits. As a consolation they can have all the parks in Vancouver’s city limits, as I am just looking for an excuse never to go back there again (except maybe to buy some fireworks). In summary, here is the agenda and your mission: (billeted for your convenience.) - Strap on a pair and head over to Goonhaven for a “sesh” once in while (especially Wednesday evenings) - Run out the Retards who ride scooters and related apparatuses - Loosen up your pants (that shit is 21st century Disco man) - Stop doing Early Grabs and pushing Mongo - Tell all The BMX tards to GO FUCK THEMSELVES and that the Bruce said “Suck my Balls.”
Urinal Showers Words by: Oby/Dane
Photos by: Oby/-Pod-
Okay, I have no idea what to write about in this issue. My buddy Scott emails me with some weird sayin's from our friend Dane in Bastrop, Louisiana. (This was cool of scott to put his anti-gravity trowel down for a minute. Yeah, they make those. He and I only know how to use them.) Dane is an awesome guy. Let him back you into a corner, and you will hear this until the sun comes up toward the mighty Mississippi.....
50 Cent Kent Summers tailblocks some renegade ‘crete down south photo: Oby
"I bought a urinal shower kit the other day, seemed like a good idea at the time. A product marketed to the man on the go, one simply hooks a pipe with a shower head up to the top of your run-of-the-mill convenience store mens room urinal and vwallah, an instant shower ensues as long as you can hit the flusher. The major drawback however, is that the other patrons of the public restroom do not react well to a fully nude grown man showering at the urinals. Also, it makes one helluva mess on the floor. The convenience factor of the device is totally lost on the minimum wage help who are tasked with cleaning the restroom. The fact that I was running late for work after a two day drinking binge seemed to carry little weight with the police, and I was arrested for indecent exposure. Fucking Pigs!!! I feel confident that I can beat the charge in court. If not, I will sue the manufacturer and recooperate my losses. Any-who, do not fall prey to the high pressure urinal shower salesman in your neck of the woods, let
him know that you have been turned on to the dark side of the urinal shower kit. Actually, If one of these salesmen approaches you, I highly recommend pulling a knife on him and robbing him on the spot. They usually carry a lot of cash on their person, as they have probably sold an assload of urinal shower kits before they could hit you up. BEWARE!!� DANEger Ryan Smith Pole Jams in Little Rock, Arkansas
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Easy Rider Words and photography: -Pod-
As a kid I remember my mom gassing up our old Buick for 72 cents a gallon. That was, I think, somewhere around the year 1978. That’s about 10 bucks to fill up!! Wow, how times have changed. Just last year, as I’m sure you all remember and will never forget, gas prices were at an all-time high of about 5 bucks a gallon!!!! That really put a damper on things. It cost a small fortune just to drive to and from work, let alone take a roadtrip across the country just to go skate. My van, aka The SAUCE Box, is a 1980 Dodge Ram Van with a huge V8 motor and gas tank that costs about 85 bucks to fill each week during that time. Needless to say, my van full of friends didn’t see the open road last year (2008). What was I gonna do? I had to get out and roadtrip and skate/explore my surroundings. Well, I decided I’d let the rest of the world stress on these outrageous gas prices and I was gonna hit the road anyway on my motorcycle, a 1975 Honda CB 550 Four.
The plan was to make a trip from Portland, Oregon down the west coast PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) to skate and visit friends along the way and end up in my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. I would take my time and allow 3 weeks for the ride one way where I would leave my bike in Phoenix at my Dad’s house for the winter and fly back home just in time for Halloween at Burnside. My ride started at the end of September just as Fall was approaching and turning the landscape different colors while the temperature was starting to drop as well. It was easy to get my things packed as I really wasn’t taking much- the cloths on my back, a second set of cloths, my camera bag and my skateboard. My first major scheduled stop was San Francisco for Ben Carnes’s birthday. So I hit the road on Thursday in hopes to be there by Saturday. I had divided that part of the ride into 3 legs which would put me in front of the Golden Gate Bridge to take some tourist photos to document my progress. I was going to cut over to the coastal highway from Grants Pass, Oregon, but due to rain, I had to stay on the I-5 until Northern California. I had stopped to skate in Weed, California. They’ve got a real nice cement park there with a larger bowl surrounded by a snaking flow area. It was very windy and I was the only one skating so I put in my time then pushed onward. I awoke Sat. morning in a motel 6 along the I-5. Today I would cut over to the coast through wine country, Napa Valley. Wow! What a great ride! The views are breath taking while the roads were smaller and windy, A good change from the monotonous I-5. I ended up in Santa Rosa, so I decided to check out the old park there. I remembered this park from all the old skate videos in the early '90s, so I had to go and get some! This park was super fun! Damn, How parks have evolved in the past 15 years! The place is a rolling snake-run covered with graffiti that is a blast to power through! Good scene there, and a recommended stop for a chance to skate a good piece of skateboarding history. Next it was off to San Francisco and it’s Golden Gate Bridge to get my tourist photographs along with the other tourists from around the world (an estimated 9 million visitors each year). Snap, snap. Now it was off to the city to celebrate Ben’s birthday. Well, I was too late. Turns out everyone blew it out on Friday night 'till the break of dawn, and it showed. Saturday night was recovery night. Fine with me. I had just rode 750 miles. Time to get a SF burrito and chill. Relaxing payed off as I spent the next 4 days skating the new Dreamland park and street skating with Ben, Freddie, Shawn John, Josh, and Shawn Hughes. We mobbed around town, street skating and bombing hills. We even fit in a casual stop at Larry Flint’s Hustler club. A nice club but definitely
nothing compared to the clubs of Portland. S.F. is way rad and I wish I could stay, but it was time to push onward down the coast. Thanx to Jenny and Alessia for a place to park my motorbike and crash. Ben Carnes B/S Nose Grind San Francisco
The next scheduled stop was Ventura, CA to visit Frank Atwater and friends. This was a two day ride down the sunny coast through Big Sur and Santa Cruz. I had to stop in Santa Cruz to check out the legendary Dearby Park, another piece of skate history from the 90s that consisted of a graffiti covered ditch-like snake-run that empties into a wide bowl-
-PodShawn John is always messing around. Here he goofs off with a proper Nose Wheelie. San Francisco, CA
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Josh Heath
Slob Air at Bob’s, Phoenix, Arizona
like area. Once again, no lips here to grind. Just flowing ‘crete to style out on. The locals kill it! Santa Cruz also has a new cement park located on the other side of town that looked pretty good, but was packed with kids. So I continued onward to and through refreshing and green Big Sur. I stayed the night in another Motel 6 and then continued on to Ventura. By this time the weather was great. Nice, warm, and sunny. California Dream’n. I arrived there in Ventura at Franks house on Friday afternoon just in time for the Friday night beer drinking bike ride with all the friends. Good times! Saturday late afternoon we went to skate Art Vega’s pool. Art (R.I.P.) is no longer with us as he had passed on from a deadly asthma attack but his pool remains skateable as it has for the past 15 years. The pool has seen many rip rides by many throughout its history. Art’s nephew, Isaac, has been respectively keeping the sessions going on to this date. Frank, Isaac, and Gary Cease took to it like they have for many years while I shot some photographs. Rock’n’Rolls, Grinds, Feebles and Boardslides made for a good session in Art's backyard. Thanx Art and Isaac!
Gary Cease Feeble Grinds Arts historic bowl. Ventura, CA
During the Friday night bike ride, Dave from Fivepoints skateshop said that Sunday was the day to hit the road and skate some killer stuff, so Dave, Peewee and I were off. First, it was off to the San Pedro DIY park under the bridge. We arrived there at about 10 a.m. with a cooler-full of
beer and water, ready to skate. We skated for about an hour and a half. (Wish we could have skated there all day. That place is way rad!) But there were some other good spots to check out throughout the rest of the day. Next it was off to East L.A. to skate the Belvedere skatepark. That place was super fun! We skated again for about an hour and a half before hittn the taco trucks for lunch. Some of the best tacos I’ve ever had! Next it was off to Venice to roll around. We ended up skating a real good mini ramp at a church. It was a bigger mini with a sturdy build. While Peewee and I were a bit toasted by the sun, Dave kept it going with a never ending bag of tricks and well concealed brews. Finally it was time to make the trek back to Ventura, hopefully with time to spare to skate a permission pool that Frank and Gary had set up. The owner was cool as he was going to refinish his pool and thought it would be a good idea to let us ride his 12 ft. square before filling it back up. That was a great idea and a good way to end the weekend!! Thanks a lot man!
It was time for the work week to begin for most, so it was then my time to get back onto the road and pursue my next objective, visiting Randy Colvin in Prescott, Arizona. That was gonna be a two day ride through the desert, but not before tackling the L.A. freeways!! A nice brisk ride down the P.C.H. that fed into dreaded L.A. As soon as I arrived I immediately got stuck in traffic due to a van that had blown up and was now on fire by the side of the road. After about an hour of this, I managed to haul ass straight through this huge city and head for the desert oasis, Palm Springs. I arrived there about 4:30 pm and it was HOT! My riding schedule had to change. I got a room and then hit the road at 4:00 am to avoid the blistering desert heat. Travelling through the desert is best when done in the early morning or evening while the temperatures are cooler and the sunrise and sunsets are a spectacular sight. A nice pleasant ride to the Arizona border followed by another peaceful ride through the back roads of the Arizona desert, where the Vultures are the only ones who know where you are. Make sure you have plenty of gas and water; nothing out here at all!! I met up with Randy at the Prescott park around 2:00 pm and skated for a bit. Then met up with Lanny Kearns. Good to see some old friends. We celebrated friendship over a BBQ. Good times. It was then decided that Jason, Josh, Randy, and I would go check out the Two Guns pool in Northern Arizona on Saturday. It took a few hours to get to the pool
-Pod-
PeeWee, F/S Wallride to F/S Air off in East L.A.’s Belvedere Park
and when we got there we discovered that it was a small six foot lefthanded kidney with super tight transitions in the deep and cool deck
Two Gunns looks better than it skates. Randy Colvin’s F/S grind is our ticket out.
coping. It was almost impossible to skate and even harder to just catch a simple grind. We weren’t going to leave until somebody got a grind, and Randy was the man for the job. A few serious tries and a F/S slash was got and we were gone! I ended up hanging out in Prescott with Randy and his family for a few days until the Phoenix heat would drop below 100 degrees. Once the temperature dropped I hit the road for one last ride through the desert before my final destination of Phoenix, Arizona to visit my family and friends. It was during this ride that I had really thought about my journey and what it meant to me. I had a great time and wished that I could continue on. This was just an amazing experience and I’m glad that I had the opportunity to be able to do this and wish that all of my friends would someday get the chance to travel and skate our beautiful country via Motorcycle. This was the true meaning of freedom and quite possibly the “American Dream.” Not to mention that this whole 3 week trip cost me about $135 bucks in gas for a 1,650 mile trip down the west coast! Finally, I had reached the ending point of my trip, but not before I skated a couple pools and ramps with my friends and visited with my family.
Wow, what a great trip this was. I highly advise everyone to get out and take a trip of a lifetime at any cost. You wouldn’t want to go through the rest of your life wishing you had, would you? -Pod-
Bob F/S Feeble on his ramp in Phoenix, Arizona
Permission pools are prety darn good. You have plenty of t Gary Cease Proper R
time with no bust factor. Thanx to the guy who let us skate! Rock’n’Roll Ventura, CA
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Chris Hogan enjoys a nice warm winter day in Harrisburg, Oregon. Pivot to Fakie
-K.Baker
Wrex Cook B/S Disasters the barrier at Chandler, Arizona
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“You don’t know what it’s like to have midget legs!” Colt 4.5 Bonless to Tail Little Rock, Arkansas
-PodIf Diamond Dave could skate, he’d be kicking rock’n front grinds like this. Willis Kimble Burnside, Oregon
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Dave Smith Nose blunts in a perfect Arizona ditch
-B.Cooper
Fire Hydrants are so 90’s. So what! Jason Lsolini B/S Flip Tempe, Arizona
-PodHot Carl Campbell and Kelly Baker session an Arizona pool that is now filled with water. Not to worry, there is another right around the corner.
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-PodScott Sorenson takes this B/S Smith through the corner.
Ballard, Washington
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Peter Gunn can skate it all, even random rails on the side of a road. Portland, Oregon
Mike “Confessor” Rips through the corner for a grind. Arizona Pool
Sequence: Hammeke
-A.Forjan
Chris Maalof has got Pop!! Ollie Tuck Knee somewhere in the Arizona desert
-PodMike Kearney gets a few last runs in at Nordy’s. Wallride, Portland, OR
-PodWallie or giant Pole Jam? You decide. El Sketcho gets it. Portland, OR
-K.Baker Jimmy Moore fills his quota of one photo per issue. “Gotta get that shoe deal!” Bonless high to low at Bob’s ramp. Phoenix, Arizona
Think Tank Screenprinting is skater owned and operated in Portland, Oregon
STYLE POINTS
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With little tranny available, 50 cent Kent gets the ladder via f/s Grind in one of Arizona’s many skateable gems