News revue: Catching up on the headlines about Vladimir Putin

“ARREST WARRANT ISSUED FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN BY INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURT OVER UKRAINE WAR”

The world just became a much smaller place for Mad Vlad. This warrant specifically pertains to the kidnapping of Ukraine’s children and transporting them to Russia for adoption into foster families and “re-education.” (Can you imagine if this happened to your children?)

Other indictments will follow.

Poisonous Putin is now subject to arrest in multiple countries.

Only Monaco, which has so far evaded the sanctioning of Russian oligarchs, would likely protect him in Europe — so long as he pays off the palace pirates.

Dmitry (“Drunkard”) Medvedev, deputy chair of Russia’s Security Council, referred to the warrant as toilet paper and, indeed, it seems appropriate that toilet paper may one day lead to this chronic crapper’s arrest. The Drunkard also threatened to launch a hypersonic missile at The Hague, “so look carefully at the sky,” he warned. (Another quart of Stoli, Dmitry?)

Meanwhile, Vlad continues to hide out in his closeted cowardice quarters (dispatching doppelgangers to public events) and is whispered to be privately “devastated” by the indictment.

He must also be held to account for the hundreds of thousands of Russian soldiers whose deaths he has caused in pursuit of egoistic Yertle the Turtle imperialism.

WASHINGTON WHISPER

Russian armed forces: 165,713 dead.

Russian private military force: 53,492 dead.

Russian Guard: 7,144 dead.

Total: 226,349 dead.

This has resulted in hundreds of thousands of unhappy widows, children, mothers and fathers — all of whom will all be happy to see Mr. Putin account for the loss of their loved ones.

“’SCARFACE OLIGARCH’ WHO SOLD HARRY & MEGHAN

THEIR HOME FOR $14.7 MILLION DIES IN MOSCOW”

Our own Montecito Russian oligarch, Sergey Grishin, is the latest in a growing number of mystery deaths, believed to be Putin hits in retaliation for criticizing his war on Ukraine.

Cause of death at age 56: “Circulatory problems in his brain.”

Translation: Poison.

Sergey was nicknamed “Scarface Oligarch”after he bought (in 2008) the Montecito mansion where Al Pacino filmed the 1983 cult movie, “Scarface” (not because his third wife, Anna Fedoseeva, once beat him up and, well… scarred his face).

He made his money by committing, he said, “the largest bank fraud scheme ever,” gleefully proclaiming that he almost brought about the collapse of the Russian banking system.

Why stomach-turning Sergey returned to Russia when he was “under fire by the criminal world of Russia and by top government officials of Russia too” (he said) is anyone’s guess.

Maybe he missed borscht and braised cabbage.

“LAWYER WARNS PRINCE HARRY’S DRUG USE COULD THREATEN HIS U.S. VISA AFTER HE ADMITTED TAKING COCAINE, CANNABIS & MAGIC MUSHROOMS IN HIS MEMOIR & TV INTERVIEWS”

Should-a been damned if he did (visa disqualification) but now damned if he didn’t (lying on a visa application is grounds for deportation).

Harried Harry just doesn’t seem to understand that you can’t have it both ways. You don’t get privacy if you turn yourself into a public figure with a book and media appearances, and you don’t get to remain royal if you renounce your royal workload, your family and your homeland.

“AMERICANS HEAD TO EUROPE FOR THE GOOD LIFE ON THE CHEAP”

It’s not just blue state taxburdened residents running to red states. Americans in record numbers are fleeing to Europe, especially Portugal, the new go-to (used to be Prague in the Czech Republic) where “the weather is pleasant, the lunches are long” and the cost-of-living is a breath of fresh air compared to the everinflationary U.S.

“CDC BOUGHT ACCESS TO AMERICANS’ PHONE LOCATION DATA TO MONITOR COMPLIANCE WITH SOCIAL DISTANCING & MORE”

I sincerely hope the CDC discovered that I was NEVER in compliance with their ridiculous lockdown, social distancing and mask policies.

I flew to Whitefish, Mont., where restaurants and bars were open and life went on as normal.

And despite Gov. Gruesome’s travel ban, I drove to Prescott, Ariz., where life went on as normal.

And I flew to Portland, Ore., where everything was locked down except “Defund the Police” morons who amassed in the streets I strolled.

And I set up my own table and chairs outside a restaurant on Coast Village Road in Montecito so I could enjoy my “to go” onsite with others despite someone wanting to sic the police on us. Although this person waited for over an hour, no cops ever showed. Perhaps they had more important things to do than enforce California’s autocratic and hypocritical governor’s mandate.

Only sheeple comply with irrational, politically motivated authority based on fabricated facts.

And sorry to say, this country is full of them.

“BILL MAHER TORCHES SAN FRANCISCO’S ‘CRAZY’

REPARATIONS PLAN: ‘THIS IS MADNESS’”

Five million dollars for each black resident? Plus forgiveness on mortgages and credit card debt?

This is beyond madness, not to mention reckless, stupid, inequitable and utter total nonsense — especially in a state that never allowed slavery.

As U.K. columnist John Junor used to write, “Pass the sick bag, Alice.”

“CNN ANCHOR ERIN BURNETT ADMITS EVIDENCE OF CHINESE MONEY TO BIDENS ‘DOESN”T LOOK GOOD’”

Not only doesn’t it “look good.” It ISN’T good. It is bad, very bad. And reminds me of my column “A Rafter of Turkeys” over Thanksgiving 2021 when I reported the shenanigans of many Biden family members. Under Joe Biden’s presidency, the United States has come to resemble the widespread dysfunction and corruption of his own kooky clan.

“It’s not true,” Joe says, referring to hard evidence that members of his family received more than million dollars from China (the first of many transactions to be uncovered).

Truth is, Joe wouldn’t recognize the truth if it slapped him across the face.

“KATHY HOCHUL’s PLAN TO FORCE NYC SUBURBS TO APPROVE MORE HOUSING SPARKS BATTLE”

Smart people wanted Mario’s little boy, Andrew Cuomo, out of the New York governor’s mansion. But be careful what you wish for. Because New York now has Princess Momby from “Return to Oz.”

Kind of like wanting Joe Biden to give up his pretense of being mentally sound (not to mention honest) and turning the White House over to the cackling Kamel. (Can anyone possibly imagine her up against Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping?)

“CLEANLINESS SEXIST & RACIST”

Professor Jenna Drenten of Loyola University (Chicago) declares that “cleanliness” should be canceled.

No, this is not an April Fool’s prank.

Writes Prof Drenten: “Cleanliness has historically been used as a cultural gatekeeping mechanism to reinforce status distinctions based on a vague understanding of ‘niceness’: nice people with nice yards, in nice houses, make for nice neighborhoods. What lies beneath this anti-messiness, proniceness stance is the history of classist, racist and sexist social structures.”

Chuckle, oink, barf.

“ELIZABETH WARREN CALLS FOR FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM PROBE & BLAMES WEAKENING REGULATIONS AFTER SILICON VALLEY BANK IMPLOSION”

I have never been a fan of Sen. Warren, D-Mass., but she is absolutely correct: Our nation’s banking system is little more than a legalized Ponzi scheme and should be thoroughly investigated, though this will never happen due to the overwhelming influence of bankers, their lobbyists and paidoff politicians.

Ask yourself: Why are many national and international (supposedly) solvent banks scurrying around like banshees to absolve regional involvement banks of their sins (gross mismanagement and disregard for their depositors)? Why should they be so concerned about the financial health of their competitors? Because the big boys are frightened of contagion, from which they are not immune.

When it comes to bankers, their first tactic always is to plead for a government (taxpayer) bailout. And if they get it, their executives celebrate by awarding themselves huge bonuses (your money). But if that fails (as it should) their mantra becomes “all for one, one for all,” lest their house of cards comes crumbling down, and we the people (mostly sheeple) discover, to our detriment, that our financial emperor has neither clothes nor the money we entrusted to their safekeeping. A run on banks is rhythmical, not isolated. Always keep enough cash on hand to see yourself through bank crises.

“STEVEN SEAGAL TO HELP SET UP INTERNATIONAL PRO-RUSSIA MOVEMENT” and “RUSSIA RECRUITS STEVEN SEAGAL TO TEACH MARTIAL ARTS TO ITS SOLDIERS”

For those who missed it, here

Please see ERINGER on A8

At Alamo Pintado Equine Medical Center in the Santa Ynez Valley, Bruno, a handsome horse, goes into a hyperbolic chamber. Troy Herthel, DVM, explains how it works.

Michele Grace Morrow, the Animal Communicator, explains how she developed her ability to communicate with horses, dogs and even alligators. At Happy Endings Horse Sanctuary, C.C. Beaudette-Wellman explains what starting a nonpro t horse sanctuary entails.

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VAN WIE STONEY, Pamela

Well adored Santa Barbara educator, businesswoman, community volunteer, and devoted wife, mother, grandmother and friend, Pamela Van Wie Stoney, passed away March 20, 2023, after a courageous and miraculous battle with CNS cancer for over 12 years. Pam was born June 1, 1940, in Glendale, CA to Marybelle and Ralph Spencer Van Wie where she enjoyed dancing and teaching ballet. She was a Golden Dragon! A loyal alumna of Glendale High School, she met annually with her High School friends. Attending UCSB brought her to Santa Barbara where she was an active sorority member and cheerleader, graduating in 1962 with a major in Elementary Education. She served her alma mater as a 6 year member of the UCSB Alumni Association Board of Directors and served as an advisor to her Chi Omega sorority chapter for many years. Pam was a teacher at Roosevelt School, St. Michael’s Nursery School, and Monte Vista School in addition to owning 2 Hallmark Shops. The Courthouse Docents, Assistance League, and P.E.O. Chapter IJ were supported by her leadership skills far into her retirement. She enjoyed travelling the globe with friends and family. Pam is lovingly survived by her husband John, son Todd (Sylvia) Stoney, daughter Lisa (Brendan) Busse, and grandchildren Shaye and Colton Busse and Sara Stoney. Special thanks to the staffs at Cottage Hospital, Sansum Clinic, and Serenity House, plus Dr. Mukul Gupta and Dr. Alois Zauner. In lieu of flowers please make donations to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Celebration of Life will be held April 13th, at Harry’s Plaza Cafe, Santa Barbara from 3-5 PM.

LONG, Elaine Gilbertson

12/16/1937 - 3/10/2023

Elaine Long passed away peacefully on March 10. One of two children, born Elaine Constance Gilbertson in Richland Center, Wisconsin to George and Harriet Gilbertson.

Elaine attended high school in Madison, Wisconsin where was elected Homecoming Queen her Senior year. Later she attended University of Wisconsin, Madison where she met her future husband, James. Elaine graduated college and worked for the County of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She married James on April 23, 1960 and later had two boys, James Jr and John. In 1966 Elaine and her family moved to Santa Barbara, then a few years later to Galveston, Texas for a couple of years, then back to Racine, Wisconsin.

In 1972 Elaine, James and her two boys came back to Santa Barbara, calling it home for the rest of her life. Elaine enjoyed the Santa Barbara weather and being able to play tennis year round. She was very active in the tennis community and served on the board of directors for the Santa Barbara Tennis Patrons.

Elaine was preceded in death by her husband of 62 years, James. She is survived by her sister Edie, two sons, James Jr and John and 4 grandchildren, Stephen, Matthew, Emily and Christopher. The family would like to thank the wonderful caregivers, especially Aires for her loving attention, at the Casa Naomi where she spent the last three years of her life.

A private funeral service will be held on Wednesday, March 29, at 10am at the Santa Barbara Cemetery.

HEIDENRICH, Wilma M.

Wilma M. Heidenrich, 92, went to be with her loving Savior on Friday March 17, 2023, while still living at her home in Carpinteria, CA.

Wilma was born May 23, 1930, in Ypsilanti, Michigan to Clifford & Ola Smith. Wilma married Fred on May 28, 1949, in Wayne, Michigan. They moved to California in 1965 and lived in Carpinteria for 51 years. Fred died in 2005.

Wilma was a lifetime member of the W.E.L.S. and was currently a founding member at Our Redeemer Evangelical Lutheran Church in Santa Barbara. Wilma also attended church at Prince of Peace Evangelical Lutheran Church in Thousand Oaks, CA with her daughter Janet.

Wilma worked at various places in food service while finally retiring in 1988, from Aliso Public School in Carpinteria. Wilma worked tirelessly as a volunteer for the Carpinteria Historical Museum as both a docent and a “hot dog wrapper”. She also volunteered weekly at Friends of the Library. In the past Wilma also helped at the Braille Institute, was a driver for H.E.L.P, and lead many bible lessons at a local nursing home. She was an active member of the Carpinteria Senior Group and loved playing Bunco.

Wilma leaves behind her 2 daughters; Janet Beilke of Ojai, CA and Charlotte (Rev Michael) Bater of Onsted, Michigan; 4 grandchildren Brittany (Adam) Dutter, Amanda (Philip) Gronholz, Rev Noah (Missy) Bater, and Dustin Beilke, as well as 9 great-grandchildren; Georgia, Brayden, Addison, Harper, Emersyn, Hudson, Chase, Thaddeus, & Finneas.

A memorial service will be held at Our Redeemer Evangelical Lutheran Church, 770 Vala Drive, Santa Barbara, CA on Thursday March 30, 2023, at 11am with Rev. J Prober & Rev. N Bater officiating. The service will also be live-streamed. www.orlcsb.net.

In lieu of flowers you may remember Wilma by making contributions to Our Redeemer and Prince of Peace Lutheran churches.

KELLY, Dorothy

“Auntie Dorothy loves us so much, that she makes us love ourselves.”

Dorothy Ireland was born October 2nd, 1925, in Liverpool, England to loving parents, Isaac and Mary Ireland. Her parents, known to everyone as Eric and Polly, raised her in a happy home with music, dancing and many warm family gatherings.

At age 13, Dorothy’s brother, John was born. She loved being his big sister. When their father passed away, she took on many extra responsibilities.

Dorothy vividly recalled World War II, the air raids, the time hiding in bomb shelters. Her memories were rich with stories of peril and camaraderie and moments of great levity that kept them going. She recalled family and friends as well as strangers truly being there for each other. They often gathered at each others’ homes and sang together. This love of music and gatherings stayed with her throughout her entire life.

As a young woman, Dorothy worked at Lockheed, where she met her husband, an American named Richard Kelly. They married, and moved to America, where she would settle in and bring her mother Polly and brother, John to join her, first in California, then Long Island, then back to Los Angeles, California. She had a successful career at AT&T as a manager and expertly ran her department. Dorothy didn’t have her own children but her maternal instincts were always evident as she absolutely adored every child she ever met. When her brother, John, and his wife, Barbara, became parents to three daughters, she poured her affection onto them for their entire lives. Dorothy and Richard moved to Santa Barbara in the 1980s after she retired. Her love has continued to flow into her great-nephews and nieces, and also to their children.

Dorothy did volunteer work including, AIDSCAP where she put her considerable cooking skills to work to lovingly feed people, and she and her friend Ron Johnson sang together and traveled to residential facilities. bringing joy and entertainment.

Dorothy had the heart to truly tune in to people and get to know them. She cared about others deeply with a genuine empathy that is rare. She also had the courage to stand up for what is right and stand against what is not. As early as the 1940s when she first came to America, she stood up against segregation and racism and was continually willing to do so at all costs. She came to the defense of people who were ostracized or mistreated and stood up to injustice her whole life.

Dorothy is known by her friends and family for her kindness and caring, her warm hugs, beautiful gardens, spirit of adventure, bright bold laughter, brilliant British wit, love of a good party whether as guest or stellar host, her ability to lend an ear or a hand, her love of children and good friends of all ages, and for her exuberant, endless gratitude.

Upon discovering she had stage four cancer in February, she boldly began making plans to live the end of her life as she had lived all along: with bravery, courage, grace, love, celebration and gratitude. She immediately began enjoying more chocolate! She hosted half a dozen parties in her home, so she could say her good-byes to her loved ones. She was grateful for her life and she was not afraid of death. She knew she would be in the loving arms of God for eternity. Dorothy passed away peacefully in her home on March 17, at age 97, surrounded by family and friends and abundant love.

Her faith in God was deep and strong. She walked the walk. We are all grateful for her. The people who are fortunate enough to know her can’t imagine a life without her, but we are fortunate because she showed us how to live. The impact she has had on our lives cannot be put into words, but our hearts hold volumes.

Dorothy is survived by her sister-in-law, Barbara, her nieces Mary, Kathy and Cynthia, her loving extended family and countless precious friends, many of whom are now “Family”. She was known to so many, affectionately as Auntie Dorothy.

We wish to thank Assisted Home Hospice for bringing a high level of care and dignity to her final days on earth and we would like to thank the angels who dedicated themselves by never leaving her side as she prepared for this next part of her journey.

If you wish to honor Dorothy, please consider the following:

Show kindness to a stranger.

Give real help, to someone who is in need.

Encourage someone. Tell them the good you see in them.

Be good to all creatures great and small.

Notice the beauty in the world.

Be brave enough to think for yourself and ask the hard questions.

Be grateful for something. Be grateful for someone.

DOBRESKI,

Carole Anne

Carole Anne Dobreski passed away on Saturday, March 11, 2023, after a lengthy battle with Alzheimer’s disease. She was welcomed into Heaven by her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Carole was born in Rutland, VT and was raised in Worcester, MA where she met her husband, Art. After having their three children they moved to California, settling in her beloved Carpinteria.

Carole was the cherished wife to Art for over 60 years, mom to Michael Dobreski (Suzy), Kathy Sharp (Randy) and Maureen Learned (Jeff). She was also a wonderful gramma to Andrew and Kendall, Nathan and Grace, Michael, David, Benjamin, Shanna, Connor, Lacey, Mia, Jemma and Dawson and great-gramma to Parker.

Over the years, Carole cared for many children whether in her own home or as a teacher at El Montecito Early School. She delighted in teaching, playing, and singing to them. She was Gramma Carole to many.

Carole lived a life that exemplified love, service and generosity. She opened her home to many, extending love and kindness to all that entered. Carole loved her Savior, Jesus Christ and that inspired her in all areas of her life.

Carole was a blessing to those who knew her and she will be greatly missed.

A Celebration of Life will take place on Sunday, April 2, at Montecito Covenant Church at 1:30pm. In lieu of flowers please donate to Montecito Covenant Church Children’s Ministry.

LEWIS, Sally McIntyre

Sally McIntyre Lewis passed away peacefully at home on March 18, 2023.

She was born in Huntington, Long Island, New York, on June 11, 1928, the youngest child of Otto Everett McIntyre and Virginia Pomeroy McIntyre. She graduated from Rosemary Hall in Greenwich, Connecticut, in 1945 and from Bryn Mawr College in 1949. She married J. Morgan Lewis in 1949. The Lewises and their four children moved to Santa Barbara in 1968. Morgan Lewis passed away in 1970. Sally was remarried to Edmond Jerome McKearnan in 1976. He died in 2015.

Sally was an artist who started drawing as a young child and continued through the last weeks of her life. She took classes at Silvermine School in New Canaan, Connecticut, the Art Institute of Chicago, and later at UC Santa Barbara and Santa Barbara City College. She also participated in private local drawing groups. Throughout her life, Sally drew and painted landscapes and abstracts and was particularly skilled at figure drawing and portraits. She also expressed herself visually by creating a nurturing, colorful home and garden.

Sally loved animals. As a teenager, she took her horse with her to boarding school. Later, she doted on family pets, rescued strays, kept bird feeders and birdbaths full, and contributed widely to wildlife charities.

She was a member of First Church of Christ, Scientist, Santa Barbara, and volunteered for many years in its Reading Room on State Street.

She is survived by four children (Maggie Lewis Thomas, Sara Lewis Murre, Susannah Lewis-O’Dea, and O. Evan Lewis), two stepdaughters (Layne McKearnan BenBen and Ann Cahill), nine grandchildren, and four step-grandchildren.

The family will gather privately to celebrate her later this spring. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to First Church of Christ, Scientist, Santa Barbara or the World Wildlife Fund.

YEE, Michael Barry

Santa Barbara native, Michael Barry Yee, passed away peacefully but unexpectedly with loved ones by his side on March 6, 2023.

He was the first son born to Katherine Grace Yee and James Thoon Yee. He attended and graduated from local schools, including Santa Barbara High, SBCC and UCSB. He moved to San Diego to study medicine but eventually left to be with his late wife, Diana, and stepdaughter Andrea in San Francisco. There he started a new career in law enforcement by joining the Police reserves in the Bay Area.

Later, the family lived in Tucson for several years. There Michael worked for several federal government agencies including Corrections, Border and Customs and later DEA. After suffering health issues, Diana left her medical practice and Michael retired from the government. Diana passed on while they were living with her daughter in Wisconsin.

After the death of his beloved wife, Michael moved back to Santa Barbara to spend time with his family. While living there, he renewed his passions for music, cooking, learning, and teaching. He also helped with some social groups. Through these pastimes, he met the new love of his life, Jo Anne. They spent 22 years together before his passing. Not being fully satisfied, he went back to school and completed a nursing degree. After working for a hospital, he went to Sansum clinic where he become Director of Nursing. He also was a clinical instructor for the nursing program at SBCC. After instructing for SBCC and working with the college Covid clinic, he retired. His proudest achievement was mentoring nurses and teaching future nurses for the community.

Michael left this world, having pursued several interests and passions and having loved, cared for and inspired many people from all walks of life.

Michael is survived by: his wife, Jo Anne Sciortino, his daughter Andrea Martin (Kelly), his brothers Leonard (Michelle) and Richard (Mary), and his nieces and nephews Jared, James, Katherine and Sara. Also by his extended family, Jennifer and Fabio Hidrobo, Janette, Ed, Alexa and Andrew Kennedy, and Loni, Daniel, Kieran, Declan, and Carly Babai.

Memories and condolences are invited to be shared at a memorial service on Friday, March 31, 2023, at 12:00 pm at McDermott-Crockett & Associates Mortuary, 2020 Chapala Street, Santa Barbara.

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