Life lessons from (culling) books

TEXT & PHOTO: STEVE FLINDERS

In the recent French film, One Fine Morning (Un beau matin – recommended), the main character, played by Léa Seydoux, finds it difficult to part with her dementia-suffering father’s extensive library because, she says, she can see more of him in his books than in the now sad shadow of his former self.

This moving reflection in particular resonated with me because my partner and I had just disposed of a couple of hundred books which had been making our apartment look a mess. Going through our own library proved rather emotional as I re-encountered many old but neglected friends and companions who activated fond memories of happy and sometimes intense experiences in the past, stretching back to childhood.

The clutter had been getting worse for years, but we had seemed unable to deal with it – not a situation of conflict, just a stalemate we’d ignored. It took one of our sons to unblock the issue. With admirable assertiveness, he started to make a pile of books we really don’t need, ex- plaining that his own partner had pointed out how people living together always think it’s the other person who should throw away their stuff and how useful an outsider can be to act as a catalyst. We got down to it and can now breathe more freely in our newly liberated living space.

What relevance does this have for business communication? Here are three reflections on this small domestic experience (and the movie) which I think are pertinent to the world of work.

• Stalemates are easy to ignore in a way that conflicts are not, but they also need attention.

• Asking a respected outsider to arbitrate in a stalemate can kickstart a solution with surprising ease.

• We are, to some degree, the books we’ve read, and we should embrace and nurture the friendships we form with books as an important part of our identity – and as a part of knowing oneself, important for every manager.

There are now even fewer business books on our shelves than before: I’ve rarely loved a book about management. No disrespect to the business gurus, but, for me, the best lessons for managing relationships – professional and personal –are still coming from those battered copies of great novels, going all the way back to Treasure Island and The Invisible Man.