From Advertising to Mindfulness

Je t'aime Hayr, a St Cuthbert's College alumna, has taken a fascinating journey from being an editor and advertising copywriter to mindfulness teacher and children's book author.

Imagine winning an art prize at five years old and being so overjoyed that you hug the presenter on the big Clouston Hall stage instead of shaking their hand. That's exactly what Je t'aime did, and it was a sign of the imaginative and creative journey she would embark on later in life. The year before, at a year one parent-teacher interview, her teacher told her parents she was "away with the fairies". At the time, it hardly seemed complimentary, but she now laughs about it as a clear indicator of her love for using her imagination.

After studying English and Media Studies at the University of Auckland and completing a Post Graduate Diploma in Creative Advertising at the Auckland University of Technology, Je t'aime started her career as an advertising copywriter. She worked with clients ranging from small businesses to multinational corporations, including Farmers, The Warehouse, Vodafone, and Telstra. During her later years in advertising, she dabbled in meditation using the Headspace app to focus and manage stress in the fastpaced, deadline-driven industry.

After some concerns, she may have left things too late to have children. at 37, she and her partner tried fertility treatment. After the first round of treatment, she became pregnant, with a hormone test revealing triple normal levels.

Her path then took an unexpected turn when she was diagnosed with prenatal depression and anxiety. Near paralysed with fear of being unable to cope with multiple babies; she recalls her first trimester as a living hell. Whilst postnatal depression, menopause and perimenopause are more commonly discussed now, you rarely hear about prenatal depression because there is a societal expectation that a pregnant woman 'glows' and loves being pregnant. She felt ashamed and judged that she wasn't joyful about her pregnancy. Under the watch of Maternal Mental Health, she revisited mindfulness practice and meditation, which profoundly transformed her life.

She recognised falling into a negative feedback loop, constantly thinking that she couldn't cope and would never be happy, and threw herself into mindfulness and meditation, using it to bring herself into the present and recognise that she was fearing the future rather than being present. Breath meditation helped to calm her mind and body while anchoring her in the present.

"The ability to be truly aware of the present moment instead of ruminating on the past or fearing the future, dramatically improved my emotional wellbeing. I wanted to pass these skills onto my children and others, so I became a certified mindfulness teacher," Je t'aime says.

Then, when her boys were two years old, Je t'aime found herself with a new challengetwin toddlers! She sometimes struggled to manage her own emotions in response to her children's strong feelings, tantrums and meltdowns.

"I'd feel angry or stressed and distract or 'shush' them. Instead of rushing to 'fix' their mood, I also needed to be present with their emotions. If we teach our children that emotions are shameful, we can't expect them to be resilient or calm as they navigate future challenges. Mindfulness reminded me of the importance of validating my children's emotions and helping them feel safe expressing them," she says.

This transformational experience inspired her to write The Little Tiger with the Big Temper, a picture book for children and adults that teaches simple mindfulness techniques to improve emotional literacy and resilience. The book has received many positive reviews, including one on the Mental Health Foundation website and featured on TVNZ Breakfast Television and the 1News website. She told 1News: "I was looking for a tool to help me navigate this and help my children learn to self-regulate because we all have to learn how to be better communicators."

The Little Tiger with the Big Temper aims to help children and adults learn mindfulness techniques that improve emotional regulation and resilience. Je t'aime crafted a picture book that could be read to children, providing opportunities for parents to learn alongside their children. The book is an enjoyable story which can be read anytime, helping children understand the mindfulness tools and reminding parents, teachers and caregivers of prompts to use when little ones are navigating challenging emotions.

Je t'aime's passion for teaching others how to develop mindfulness skills and stay present, anchored and mindful is evident in everything she does. Her book is a testament to her dedication to helping others improve their emotional wellbeing. The Little Tiger with the Big Temper is a valuable tool for anyone who wants to learn how to regulate their emotions and stay present.

Her story reminds us that life is full of surprises; sometimes, unexpected turns lead to our most significant achievements.