rown Princess arie- hantal

Best Behavior

Princess Marie-Chantal’s guide to modern etiquette for families

By Hester ABA C rown Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece is a New York transplant, mama to five kids, and the founder of her own children’s fashion line, MarieChantal. We caught up with her to learn about her new book, Manners Begin at Breakfast, a beautifully illustrated how-to guide she has written about modern etiquette for families. We hoped to pick up some tips about how to stop our children eating with their fingers, but came away with some profound insights about our impact as parental role models when it comes to manners.

How did you develop a first interest in manners and etiquette? Who was your main inspiration?

When I was little my father was busy building a business. Even though he was busy, he always insisted that we sit down together as a family at breakfast. We were dressed in our school uniforms and our parents expected us to be properly dressed, hair brushed, hands washed before we could sit at the table. It was expected of us at all mealtimes. What I remember isn’t strict austere rules but nice boundaries and happy family time.

What does the title of your book, “Manners Begin at Breakfast”, mean to you? Manners Begin at Breakfast means that we start everyday, at the very beginning of the day, at the table teaching our children the first rules of manners.

What are some of your etiquette pet peeves?

A pet peeve of mine would be when I see a parent and his or her child at a restaurant where an IPad is placed on the table and no interaction is taking place at all. Mealtimes in most cultures are a celebration or a time to share our thoughts with one another.

You wouldn’t do it on a date or hope to never be that person who has no conversation at all when out at a restaurant, so why do it with your child? I understand that children may not know how to sit at the table without an iPhone or a tablet so this is where I stress that one needs to break the habit and teach them the art of conversation and sitting at the table. It’s not hard, you just need to learn to make it fun.

If you were going to single out one piece of advice in your book that could have the biggest impact on the lives of a family, what would it be?

We all want our children to be treated well when they go out into the world and that will depend on how they treat other people. Give them a toolbox to be able to find success. Teach them to be polite and kind to others from an early age, and good manners and a happy disposition should become second nature.

In what ways do you think the digital age has detrimentally affected peoples’ etiquette? Aside from us all being glued to our phones of course!

As a parent, one of our most important roles is to teach children how to behave. This is best taught through being a good role model for our kids. Parents are fundamental in teaching core values to our children. However, n this day and age electronics offer more and more distractions from healthy human relationships. As children grow older technology offers great advances in education and correspondence but also challenges with relationships and self-confidence. It’s important for parents to be present and active in their young children’s use of technology. Teach them wisely and always encourage moderation.

You have five children of very different ages — how do you keep a close family connection and sense of home?

I’m a firm believer in treating people the way you want to be treated and that also applies to how I treat my parents and siblings. I’m hopeful that my children will treat me and their siblings the way they were brought up.

You have created a beautiful children’s fashion brand, Marie-Chantal. How do your passions for etiquette and fashion go together?

Tom Ford once said, “dressing well is a form of good manners”. When I was growing up, my mother told me to always dress nicely because you never know who you’ll run into. She was so right and I’ve passed this advice along to my kids. This doesn’t mean dressing up to the nines every time you leave the house. My rules are simply that no matter what my children wear, try to look neat and tidy.

Tactfully dealing with a tech tantrum

from Marie-Chantal Remember when your child had to give up the pacifier?

Electronic devices are just the same.

Most of us have been guilty at some time or other of giving our children a smart phone or tablet to distract them while we take them on errands, to a restaurant — pretty much everywhere. And then, when we take away the “pacifier,” the children are (unsurprisingly) enraged. So how do we deal with it?

When your child has a tantrum, it’s essential to remain calm and guide them through it. Tantrums are normal in a child’s development, and remember — they don’t last forever. Once the tantrum is over, have a gentle conversation with your child, and explain that they need to learn to regain control of their calmer emotions. Although not easy, a child has to learn to sit with themselves — to acknowledge their feelings and manage them — and know that they won’t always be instantly gratified. Above all, be consistent and compassionate in your approach, and don’t give in.

From Manners Begin at Breakfast: Modern Etiquette for Families by Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece. Published by Vendome Press, available in all good bookstores and online. (March 2020, $24.95))

I was fortunate enough to have enjoyed an international upbringing. I was born in London, raised in Hong Kong and Paris and finally ended up in New York for University at NYU. When my children were little we lived in London and decided to move back three years ago as my bigger kids were at University or about to start. We wanted to be together as a family so we collectively decided to move. I wasn’t ready to be an empty nester with kids living across the pond.

Your book, clothing line, and store are all absolutely beautiful. Where do you get your sense of style from? Would you say you have a signature style?

I grew up with a love of fashion and my mother was and still is so stylish. When we were little and living in Paris you can imagine the feasts of fashion that one is exposed to. The French taught me so much but so did my mother. I always knew that I wanted to have a career in fashion but a gentler one and children’s wear is so perfect. I’m quite simple at heart in my fashion choices and like to keep it elegant even though I’m always in jeans. I try to look smart or with a touch of something lovely.

The Buy-Nothing Guide to Being More eco-Friendly

“Reduce, Re-Use, Recycle” doesn’t mention BUYING MORE STUFF

By Hester ABA I f one of your resolutions this year was to be more eco-friendly, you might have started off by buying a reusable water bottle, picking up some stainless steel straws or investing in your own coffee cup for your daily latte. If you’re truly trying to go green though, it’s worth bearing in mind that the classic adage to “Reduce, Re-Use, Recycle” doesn’t mention BUYING MORE STUFF anywhere. As natural-born consumers, our instinct is to solve all our problems by consuming more, but when we’re trying to reduce our impact on the planet, we need to do the opposite! Here are some ideas for how to go green in NYC without spending a single cent.

Clothing swaps The fashion industry is a huge source of pollution (ranked as the 5th most polluting industry worldwide) and lots of our fast fashion, impulsebuy items end up in landfills. What’s the solution so we can still scratch our itch for new-to-us items and clear out our closets at the same time? Clothing swaps! Grow NYC organize regular swaps across New York City, and they are free to attend. Just bring clean, reusable, portable items such as clothing, housewares, games, books and toys, and take home new-to-you items. Check out Grow NYC’s website (www.grownyc.org) for dates and locations of upcoming swaps. You can also take a look at Meetup.com which is home to a huge and varied selection of clothing swap meetup groups.

Optimize your utilities If you’re lucky enough to have central heat, try turning the temperature down by one or two degrees, and encouraging your kids to grab a sweater or wear socks indoors instead of hitting up the thermostat. You can also turn the heat off once everyone is in bed and

Trash Facts

• The average American generates 4.5 lbs of waste every day • New York only recycles about a fifth of its garbage (18% from homes and 25% from businesses) lagging behind cities like San Francisco and Seattle • About a third of residential waste is made up of food scraps and yard rubbish, which can be composted but which when it ends up in landfill can generate harmful methane gas • Most public housing in New York City does not have easy access to recycling services. New York’s nearly 400,000 public housing residents recycle less than 2% of their household waste (source: The New York Times Jan, 2020)

on again at breakfast time. If you’re in an apartment building where the communal areas are sweltering, call your super and gently encourage them to adjust the heat. These measures will also help to save you dollars and cents off your electricity bills.

Check Craigslist’s free page Craiglist’s “free” page is filled with all kinds of weird and wonderful items people are giving away. If you have your own transport for picking up large furniture items and if you’re happy to get your hands dirty to “upcycle” pieces, you can furnish an entire apartment just with freebies! And on the other side of things, if you have items you need to get rid of, consider posting them here or on your local parenting Facebook page before you put them out on the sidewalk.

Cut down your food waste New York sends an astounding four million tons of waste to landfill every year, and almost a third of that is food waste. Although most of this is generated by grocery stores, manufacturers and the restaurant industry, individual households can still do their bit to help. Meal-planning and keeping supplies of easy-to-cook staples like rice, beans and pasta in your pantry can help you to avoid ordering take-out or doing a hungry bodega dash. If you find yourself regularly throwing away uneaten fresh produce, consider switching to frozen vegetables especially when it comes to broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, peas and green beans which are just as good frozen as fresh.

Eat less meat Whether it’s trying out “meatless mondays” or transitioning your kids’ sandwich fillings from deli meats to cheese or PB&J, you don’t need to go full veggie or vegan to have a big environmental impact with your diet. We love following plant-based instagram accounts from New Yorkers like @veggiekins and @bonberi for inspiration for our meat-free meals!

Don’t let a nice gesture turn into trash While we’re big fans of New Yorkers’ habit of leaving books and other small belongings out on the sidewalk for passersby to pick up, please check the weather forecast before you do this! We see so many sodden books and pieces of clothing which then just end up in the trash. If you have kids’ books in good condition to give away, consider asking your local school’s Parent Coordinator if they take library donations.

Bring your own bag Keeping a tote bag in your handbag or laptop case will save you picking up the plastic. And we all have tote bags we can press into service as in New York they’re given away with so many purchases. Pop one in each of your bags (we like to zip them into our inside pockets) so you won’t forget.

Mason jars for your takeout coffee habit Like a good hack? Wrap rubber bands around a mason jar and voila! You have the perfect reusable coffee cup which won’t burn your hands when you fill it with hot coffee.

Creative composting

Want to try composting in New York City but your apartment building doesn’t offer it? Don’t be discouraged! Grow NYC has more than 70 food scrap drop-off locations around the city where you can bring fruit and vegetable scraps, non-greasy food scraps, coffee grounds, tea bags, egg shells, cut or dried flowers and much, much more. Just avoid meat, fish or daily products and check out the full list of do’s and don’t’s as well as their list of drop-off locations on the Grow NYC website. You don’t need a dedicated composting receptacle either - you can compost in a paper bag lined with newspaper, and keep your compost in the refrigerator or your freezer to avoid bad smells.

Volunteer to garden New York has tons of opportunities to get your hands dirty, even if you don’t have a garden of your own. Check whether your local public school has a gardening program, or get involved with the Governor’s Island Teaching Garden during the open season (May 1st to October 31st 2020) where your kids can take part in gardening workshops, take tours and learn about nutrition. You can also visit NYC Service’s website to search for volunteering opportunities at your local park or playground.

Consolidate your Amazon deliveries We’re all hooked on Amazon, but getting single items delivered separately uses unnecessary resources when it comes to both packaging and delivery vehicles. Use the “Shopping List” feature or fill your cart and only checkout once a week to make your Amazon habit more eco-friendly. You can also choose to select an “Amazon delivery day” so that all your packages arrive on the same day of the week.