The speechless Issue
Volume 2 // Issue 2
QUiNTEsseNCe
Maria Miller
Kayley Anderson
Lily Yates
Peter Quinn
Nessa Woosley
Maria Koli
Copy editor
Editor-in-chief
Allison Heithoff
In this issue
FRom the EditoR...
1
Sam Wie
Some feelings are unable to be tr experiences cannot always be ac the limitations of language. These for words and evoke a part inside among the most inspiring. When essence of the
3-4
5-7
8-10
11
taciturn tunes
disquietude
overture
sur
23-25
26-28
29-31
32
autophobia
Crushes
awe
wis
m Wiegand
Tom Hermanek
Ava Dreessen
Robert Killgore
Molly Gubbels
Hope Stratman
Mr. Elliott
be translated to words. The thoughts inside us sometimes struggle to be pinned down, and the most impactful be accurately described. Despite the pages and pages of words in a dictionary, there are still feelings that defy These are the feelings that accompany both the best and worst moments of life, the ones that leave you at a loss nside of you previously untouched. While these instances can be some of the most vulnerable, they can also be When it comes down to it, life is the sum of these indescribable feelings. Here in this issue, we captured the very of them. I hope they help you remember how it feels to be completely and utterly speechless.
Contributors
Koliopoulos
11-13
14-16
17-19
20-22
surreality
wanderlust
optimism
reminiscence
32-34
35-37
38-40
41-46
wistfulness
autonomy
procrastination
photography
2
the sounds of the issue
By: Tom Hermanek
taciturn tunes 3
Flightineschs As you flip through the pages of our literary magazine, allow these tunes to set the mood. They have been hand-selected by our staff and are available on our Spotify account.
kusanagi (intrumental) // odesza 0_0 // Hot sugar natural cause // emancipator wurlitzer // the lushlife project resonance // home vision // m83 ezra // Flume slumlord’s RE-lease // neon indian when the sky falls // black milk still a soldier // ancient astronauts 4
the feeling of anxiety or uneasiness
By: Molly Gubbels
Disquietude 5
Faded green wings spread over my lungs and polish my rib cage with every careful movement. These are not the butterflies that inhabit beautiful gardens, these are the crippled moths from which I am made. Moths which fill my mind and body begging for escape. Climbing up my throat, suffocating me with each careful movement, they plead for a light they have never known. Who am I to deny them? I allow them to withdraw and the moths that have gained their freedom are envied by the moths that will never see that glow. In a jealous rage, they destroy the order of my mind, turning their careful movement to violent chaos. I am a slave to their flight, bound by shackles which retract with every beat of their broken wings. My mind has become a hideous moth garden, a prison in which I am starved of sunlight.
disquietude 6
7
The Exhileration of Performance
By: Ava Dreessen
Overture 8
9
“One day more, another day another destiny.
“Be the hero of your story ‘till it’s done, why go promenade when you were born to run?”
“And the best that we can do is hope a blue bird will sing its song as we stumble along.”
“It’s time to tear through that door, it’s time now to soar.”
Overture 10
the hallucinatory
By: Maria Koliopoulos
surreality 11
It’s safe to say we have an affinity for the ethereal, Sticky lights and eye glints. S o m e t i m e s the smallest things are really the most interesting to think about. Your eyelids are getting heavy but what dances behind them is anything but drowsy. Drift off to the sound of the wind Drift in to iridescent surreality. I guess you could say that everything here sparkles, glints. o h b o y, h o w l o v e l y e s t r a n g e m e n t c a n b e.
surreality 12
13
THe Longing to travel
By: Allison Heithoff
WaNdeRLuSt 14
The sleepless night preceding departure // the fleeting sense of weightlessness accompanying takeoff // the hum of an unfamiliar airport // the emergence into a new destination // the transformation of expectations into real sights and sounds // the return to reality // the yearning to experience it all over again...
15
The feelings that overwhelm traveling are more than just sensations. They are the products of a mind experiencing a renewed passion and a broader scope of life. They are the very essence of our existence, the most pure and free-spirited manifestation of living.
belgium
Zurich
the atomium
the atomium
oxford
wanderlust 16
the more favorable side of events
By: Kayley Anderson
optimism 17
“This used to be an affluent neighborhood, but then everyone moved west and things changed. The priests who used to live in the rectory at the back of the Church started getting knocks on the door from people asking for food. They’d make him a sandwich and eventually we started making sanwiches for 500 people.”
“People are transient, you never know if you’ll see the same face twice. But everyone of them has a story and everyone of them has a reason that’s not laziness or whatever else people like to say. Everyone of them has innumerable value.”
optimism 18
“Good Morning, it’s a nice day out here, well I guess it’s a bit chilly. I can’t complain though because I’m alive and I think that’s pretty great.”
19
the enjoyable recollection of past events
By: Peter Quinn
reminiscence 20
“The living owe it to those who no longer can speak to tell their story for them.� -Czestaw Mitosz
21
Reminisence is the enjoyable recollection of past events. Certain objects are catalysts to bring back memories of how things used to be. Walking into an antique store is one of the prime examples of this. It feels like stepping into a time machine, creating the illusion that you are in a completely different time era.
reminiscence 22
THe Fear of being alone
By: Maria Miller
Autophobia 23
I live, to put it simply, in the middle of nowhere. There are maybe five other houses in the surrounding area, but they’re just about opposite of a stone’s throw away. It is nice sometimes, like a getaway, but there are days where the isolation loses its serenity. The endless fields become an ocean, and I am left stranded, waves constricting my increasingly shallowing breaths. Lost at sea. To put my feet back on steady ground, I immerse myself into the traffic with illuminating street lights that don’t even appear until five miles out from the house. The point of this excursion isn’t necessarily interaction. I don’t have to be going anywhere or speak to anyone. It’s all about feeling like part of the population again; like I’ll never actually be alone.
Autophobia 24
25
The First time catching feelings
By: Nessa Woosley
Crushes 26
27
Butterflies invade her stomach every time he walks by her locker. His face burns bright red whenever she asks for a pencil in class. Having a crush is an almost indescribable feeling. The excitement of a new spark is scary, puzzling, thrilling, and sometimes consuming. Often you find yourself in fifth period daydreaming about your crush’s smile and trying to figure out if them saying “hey” this morning meant something more then realize you were distracted the whole lesson. It’s just something about that person. Having a crush can be the best or the worst feeling in the world, but it’s always worth the fall whether it be falling in love or falling into your bed crying with Netflix and ice cream.
Crushes 28
the feeling of wonder
By: Robert Killgore
awe 29
Sports stadiums are everywhere in the U.S.: places for people to relax and enjoy whatever sport they are watching. You can forget about life for a while and just take in the beautiful stadium right in front of you. When you walk into that stadium for the first time, there are so many things to look at. First, you take in the shining basketball court or the well kept dirt and grass of a baseball stadium. The players. Next, you take in the sights and smells of the game. The crack of the bat and the sound the ball makes hitting the catcher’s glove. There are just some of the many sensations in the world of sports. You try to process these elements of sport, but never fully. No matter how many times you go to that beautiful game, you can’t help but be in awe.
awe 30
31
the vague longing for memory
By: Lily Yates
wistfulness 32
“She was standing on the deck in the sun, watching me push my niece. She’d come every weekend for Sunday dinner and sit in her favorite chair waiting for the meal to be ready.” -R.S.
33
“I’d go out in the heat - I don’t even know if my family knew I was gone - because with the breeze and sweat pouring down your back you just don’t have to think any more.” -N.W.
“But everything finally sort of got better when I came home - I mean Wenceslaus. But I guess ‘home’ is pretty close too.” -J.O.
wistfulNESS 34
the courage to live life on your terms
By: Hope Stratman
autonomy 35
You. You determine who you are and who you will be. Your decisions, your thoughts, and the course your life takes are entirely determined by one person - you. Others can have influence; they come and they go, they inspire and they teach. But in the end you are the single person that you can entirely count on, that can save, change, embrace, ruin, enlighten, or steer your life. That power is only yours, and this is frightening - after all, it’s absolute control over a living being. But it is also a gift. You have, in this life, the ability to live to the fullest extent that you are able. Don’t throw away your shot. This is your one life, and you have the duty, the capability, and the power to construct and form it. Make something of it.
autonomy 36
37
the habit of postponing Responsibilities
By: Sam Wiegand
PROCRASTINATION 38
“I got so much procrastinating done today.�
Procrastinator? No. I just wait until the last second to do my work because I will be older, therefore wiser.
39
“Nothing makes a person more productive than the last ten minutes.�
Procrastination 40
41 photography by emily koster
photography by Sarah Sloboth 42
43
photography by Claire Pape 44
45
photography by Renee mergens 46
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