10 minute read
Justina LinthicumDaley
HER HEALTHYWAY
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I faced many challenges coming from childhood obesity into being morbid obese. I've always been the chubby girl smiling all while dying inside facing many traumatic events within my life. In the year of 2013 is when I started my journey and that's when I started loving myself a little bit more than I have. I was determined to get my life together before I turned 40 years old .I decided to have a consultation for the lap band. When I entered this appointment this doctor made me feel like he was really listening to me he listened to all my concerns my family history. I explained all the yo-yo diets I've been on weight watchers diet pills etc fighting trying to lose weight and that I was never taught how to eat.
My fears of having two aunts that had triple heart bypass with one who passed away and one who survived was very fearful for me. Growing up you ate what was presented to you and you must clean your plate. The doctor talked to me for almost 2 hours trying to come up with a plan for me for better quality of life.he told me that the lap band was out of the question and that he suggested that I get the gastric sleeve. I was approved with my insurance once they checked out my medical background and my surgery was scheduled within 2 months.Within this time I had to go through a psych evaluation, nutritionist, sleep study and endoscopy and having to drink clear liquids with no food 2 weeks prior to surgery.
The first 4 days into this liquid diet was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.I believe what helped me was my doctor stating that if he went in he would be able to tell if I've eaten anything and he would come out and stop the surgery and not even start. During my surgery the doctor went in and when I woke up he was there telling me that it wasn't completed. I knew I hadn't eaten anything so I was very concerned on why. He stated that he found some spots on my liver and he had to see if it was benign or not. He wasn't sure if I had cancer. Two weeks went by and I was told that I was cancer-free. He began the surgery again and it was done being completed with having my gastric sleeve. Once getting this surgery you really have to be in a good headspace and you have to learn your body. I had to endure another 2 weeks of liquid diet with completion to that then you have to go through two weeks of puree food, then 2 weeks of soft food and then 2 weeks after you are able to start introducing yourself to solid food.
You will also learn that some foods do not agree with your new stomach. Foods you used to love you don't anymore. Foods that you craved before you don't crave anymore. I also had to cut out sugar which could cause what they call the dumping syndrome. Sugar or certain foods can have me feeling like I want to pass out or lightheaded sick to my stomach or vomiting. So it's kind of like it forces me to eat right. During this whole process I never had support from family besides my grandmother and support from two friends.
Later that year after starting my journey I joined a running group called Black Girls Run South Jersey in Camden New Jersey .They taught me how to condition myself to run and giving me my self-esteem to become a better Justina. I did Cancer Walks In Trenton N.J And I also volunteered for fun runs with my grandson Jace for the Parkinson's Alliance in Princeton New Jersey.
HER HEALTHYWAY
Which gave me great pride doing so. I used to be the Mom who couldn't physically do much with her children and now here I am running the track with my grandchildren. This gives me so much joy to be able to really live my life. A year after that I began to experience abdominal pain and I knew something wasn't right within my body. I was in the hospital from 5:00 p.m. to about 5:00 a.m. with them trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was told that nothing was found. This began to infuriate me because I knew something was not right.
I called my surgeon and traveled to N.Jersey and he had me come in. After tests were ordered for me from the surgeon. The hospital that I went to in A.Jersey called me back and stated that they found something. I went back to the hospital and it appeared that they did not know what they were doing ( when it came to WLS) or what they were talking about.They stated that I had a abscess that needed to be drained off of my spleen. I then called my surgeon and started advocating for my body and stating to him that I was afraid and I wanted him to send for me. He did and when I got to the surgeon's hospital in N.Jersey they found out that I had two ulcers that perforated from stress and a gastric leak and my body became sepsis. All the doctors and nurses kept saying thank God that I came when I came because I could have died if I hadn't come sooner. I wound up spending 18 days without food or water and only hydrated by my IV.
Pastor Michael Sweeney prayed and went on a fast with me during this time. After two attempts of trying to stop this leak they were able to clip
and glue it to stop the leak and I was able to get my life back on track. 3 years into my journey my grandmother passed. My grandmother raised me and she was my everything. My depression and anxiety started getting the best of me and here I was again starting to be that emotional eater letting my weight pile back on. I started realizing what I was doing again to my body and my mind so I started going to therapy to get me back in the right headspace.
The meds that I was on for depression made me regain also. I then spoke to my surgeon and he wanted to give me the gastric bypass. Just the thought of the gastric bypass made me cringe, but I took a leap faith knowing that I would make it through. Since that day I’ve been in a pretty good head-space mentally and physically and I continue to live my life as healthy as I can. You come across a lot of naysayers that believe that weight loss surgery is so easy, well I'm here to tell you it's much harder than you think and they will never know until they walk in your shoes. I'm happy I was able to utilize this tool and I realized dedication to lifestyle changes that I made I'm always learning how to eat better, healing after trauma, uplifting myself and those around me.Always putting my best foot forward.. rooting for myself.. continuing to love myself.. despite any challenges I face... These days I look at myself as God's warrior. And with him all things are possible.
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I see that family is so important to you, especially being a single-mom (I no what that’s like), what are the lessons and or wisdom you give your children on
I was born in the late 1970’s, when children were respectful and had manners and basic values. I was taught to cook, clean, sew, read, write, enjoy art and music, groom myself, know my giftings. None of these were taught as gender specific, but as things needed to take care of myself when I was on my own.
I tell my children all the time that my job is to prepare them for life outside of my home. I want both my sons and daughter to not need another person to cook their meals.
I want them to know their gifts and begin now thinking about how to build a business doing what they are good naturally. I have never been married and have been a mother for almost 26 years. I tried to fill in the gaps the best way that I could. I’ve been both self-less and selfish. I speak to my children in a solution-based manner because I used to live with a problem mindset. That mindset almost killed me honestly, as my coping mechanisms began to turn on me. I have been an example of successes, failures, and resilience in front of my children. That is the lesson I offer to them, and the wisdom is all things occur to show others God’s realness in all situations.
The pandemic has changed our lives beyond belief, are potential clients still reaching out to you?
I am currently rebranding to offer services in what I was just describing. I do have clients who still reach out just for beauty services, and my mental health population I continue to work closely with. I am also an essential worker, so I have not ever stopped seeing anyone in person.
How has Texas treated you?
Houston is the unexpected lifesaver. I left New York in 2015 at the height of my career, and at the depths of personal despair. I “ran away” here wanting to go as far as I could possibly have gone. The one thing about being a helper, or the “go to” person for everyone else’s issues is that you are often not reciprocated what you give out. After a series of very bad financial decisions, an active addiction where I was no longer functional and all-around personal defeat, I came to Texas to give up. I was beat down and broken. I thought I came here to die, but what I have discovered was recovery, and another chance to live. It seems as I have become alive for the first time in my life. The woman that left New York in 2015 is not the same woman sharing this today. I am really proud of who I have become, flaws, scars, missing pieces, all of it. I really like this Tifini. She is amazing, and authentic, and while everyone else may have already known, I now know too. The best thing is it is not based on what I do. I am learning serenity and contentment with who I am. I am flawesome.
We all have times when we laugh beyond belief. Tell us what are your favorite times?
Today it’s when my oldest son who currently lives in San Diego, California, calls us to Facetime myself and my other 2 children for the day. It’s 4 squares of catching up, screenshots of funny faces, corny jokes and bonding. My dog Kolbi Jack makes me laugh often, as he is my emotional support animal. Surprisingly, I’ve experienced a level of joy in having him I never knew existed. Who knew I’d be proud to be a “dog mom”? My sidesplitting laughter comes from daily WhatsAp videos between my best friend Shirley and I. She is still in New York, but this has been our method of communicating since living in Houston. She is the funniest person I know.
