Questioning in quarantine

Zachary Khouri

Since the COVID-19 pandemic first began, millions of Americans have been forced to stay inside to protect themselves and their families from contracting the virus.

LGBTQ teens are building especially unique experiences during this crisis: while many teenagers see quarantine as a chance to sleep in and eat comfort food in front of the TV, it has offered LGBTQ teens time for self-reflection.

Chris Smith, who describes their family as “warm and accepting,” has had the opportunity to explore their identity further while in quarantine. Smith’s name has been changed to protect privacy in accordance with Carlmont’s anonymous sources policy.

“I experimented with labels and was able to find what is comfortable for me. Having an online community is one of the best ways to get to know yourself because there are other people just like you, and there isn’t the threat of having to talk to someone face-to-face,” Smith said. Smith uses neo-pronouns, which replace “she,” “he,” and “they” with labels that more accurately describe people who do not fall under the gender binary of “male” or “female.” Examples of neo-pronouns include xe/xem/xyr and ey/em/ eir.

“While I love my pronouns, since they’re such a new phenomenon, I don’t know how comfortable I would feel in an environment full of people who don’t know anything about them,” Smith said. “Being online allows us to spread information and acceptance much easier.” While Smith has primarily had a positive experience, those from unaccepting families are at severe risk of physical or emotional harm. According to The Trevor Project, a non-profit organization focusing on suicide prevention tactics for LGBTQ youth, lesbian, gay, and bisexual teens from unaccepting families are 8.4 times more likely to commit suicide than those who experience little to no levels of familial rejection. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) advocates for parents to have “honest and open conversations” with their LGBTQ children to provide them with a safe space if they encounter anti-LGBTQ rhetoric in school or online. Since LGBTQ students comprise only 8% of American high schoolers, those with detrimental home lives face the brunt of the pandemic blues as they struggle with loneliness and alienation from their friends and family. Taylor Johnson, who does not align with any specific gender identity, described quarantine as a challenging experience. Johnson’s name has also been changed to protect their privacy. “Quarantine has made me develop much self-hate, but I’ve also realized the importance of asking for help and support,” Johnson said. The uneasiness that Johnson emphasized is known as gender dysphoria, described by the Mayo Clinic as “the feeling of discomfort or distress that might occur in people whose gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics.” They recommend that those suffering from gender dysphoria discuss the issue with a healthcare

professional for a diagnosis to pursue hormone treatment or surgery.

Despite their battle with gender dysphoria, Johnson stated that they feel safer at home than they do on campus due to bullying and what they cite as a general “lack of compassion.”

“For those in quarantine who are LGBTQ, please reach out and talk if you’re struggling,” Johnson said. “The most important thing is that you trust [the person].”

Although maintaining a healthy support system is essential, senior Sophia Campbell expressed that quarantine can still be limiting for LGBTQ teens.

“I think one thing that many non-LGBTQ students don’t understand is (that) the little things such as socializing with other queer people at school is very important for the development of gender identity and sexuality. It can be a lot harder than non-LGBTQ students realize,” Campbell said.

However, Campbell recognized that there are both positive and negative sides to the high school experience as an LGBTQ teenager.

“I would describe Carlmont as a moderately safe space because I am comfortable being myself,” Campbell said. “However, there are students who use gay slurs or make reZachary Khouri

marks containing subtle homophobia or transphobia, which is often overlooked. LGBTQ students accept this as a norm when it should not be that way.”

While in quarantine, Campbell has taken advantage of the ample free time to consider how she labels her identity.

“At the beginning of quarantine, I labeled myself as cisgender and bisexual, but now I would say I am comfortable with bisexual, pansexual, queer, or gay. I don’t feel the need to limit myself to one specific label,” Campbell said.

Smith affirmed that the journey towards being an openly LGBTQ person looks different for everyone.

“Keep your safety as your top priority. If you’re afraid of getting hurt, then staying closeted might be the right path for you,” Smith said.

If one struggles to build friendships, The Human Rights Campaign promotes joining the bullying-free online Q Chat Space, where one can communicate with other LGBTQ teens and trained staff from LGBTQ centers around the country.

One of the battles that many LGBTQ teens face, whether at school or in quarantine, is loneliness. Finding a support system can be infinitely more challenging for those who are still closeted. However, they can call the Trevor Project’s LGBTQ crisis intervention hotline at 1-866-488-7396.