RECLAIMING THE ROLE OF FAMILY IN LIFELONG DISCIPLESHIP

RECLAIMING

THE ROLE OF FAMILY IN

LIFELONG DISCIPLESHIP

SOME THOUGHTS FROM TERRY WILLIAMS, WAY2GO 2020 keynote speaker

Imagine for a second a healthy heartbeat in the family, where there is… • a strong foundation in Christ, that gives them purpose and a destiny • a loving environment that gives them confidence to dream • security in who they are, to risk doing something new • safety to explore, with a safe harbour to return to • identity in the past, so they can change the future • someone who will be in their grandstand, while they seek to grow What a wonderful vision that is! We live in a fast-paced and changing world, which creates challenge and pressure for families. Many parents feel ill-equipped to care for the spiritual needs of their children. What is the role of the church, and how can the church best support families in their vital role?

RE-EMPOWERING THE FAMILY AS PRIMARY SPIRITUAL CAREGIVERS The rise of professionalism within the church is one of the factors contributing to the stripping away of confidence in the family as primary spiritual caregivers. The rise of a Sunday School movement a couple of centuries ago saw the church take on the responsibility for the Christian Education of the young and this quickly became a global missional strategy. This was further reinforced late last century with the rise of the ‘professional worker’ employed by local churches. Today, the church, through its programmes and activities, continues to promote itself as the primary centre for discipling the young, mostly overlooking the biblical importance given to the family household. However, the most important building blocks in the holistic development of children are parents who have a disciplined intentionality about their spiritual parenting. As we engage, individually and corporately, in the mission given to us by Jesus to ‘make disciples’, there is an urgent need to reclaim the role of the family in lifelong discipleship. The church must assume the role as a training and support agency for parents to be the soul doctors for their children. The spiritual formation of children begins with the spiritual formation of their parents. Families are in great need of support and the church has a real opportunity to do so through things like: • Raising a priority (and not guilt) about

developing a family spiritual plan • Providing support through informal coaches, mentors or surrogate grandparents • Exploring what intergenerational events could look like • Providing devotional and faith conversation resources • Creating opportunities for families to serve together in mission • Hosting marriage and parenting courses The likely result (and NOT the promise) is that children and young people will develop a lifelong faith where they are actively serving Jesus. This is what every Christian parent wants. However, we are faced with the sad reality, reinforced by consistent statistics, that many children growing up in Christian homes, walk away from the church and their faith in teenage and adolescent years.

MORE CONVERSATIONS… One of the common reasons why young people leave the church and the faith, recorded in the plethora of books and research pieces on this issue, is that ‘my parents and the church did not answer my questions’. In reality, space to explore these questions was not provided — it was not a priority. It is more important than ever for households around their meal tables, driving

in the car to activities, on the walking path, to open up these conversations and explore life and faith together. More conversations— less debates. More putting faith into action —less preaching. This has become even more important with the rise of screens and devices within our homes. As children and young people seek out answers via the phone in their pocket, the need for families to nurture face-to-face interaction is crucial. How do we control technology and not let it control us? How do we put in place healthy boundaries for all to flourish, including the adults in the house?

Terry Williams has spent his lifetime advocating for families. Spend any length of time with him, over a good cup of coffee, and you will hear his passion. Terry longs to see the church embrace its call to support and nurture families to be the primary spiritual caregivers of their children.

Scripture Union New Zealand is excited to have Terry Williams speak at our three WAY2GO Children’s Ministry Conferences in 2020, as well as hosting events around the country helping families to navigate a world of screens. Terry is a gifted communicator, with global experience and a passion for all things family. Don’t miss out on hearing him speak. For more information head to www.sunz.org.nz

CHURCH & H ME

PARTNERING TOGETHER BY KAREN WARNER | Baptist Churches of NZ

We all know that the home is designed to be the place where families love and grow together and nurture health and well-being. But the home, through the family, is also the most powerful influence in the faith formation of children and teens. Parents are the first educators of their children and provide the foundation for spiritual life. As churches and leaders, our role is to help strengthen and expand that faith formation. Family life and societal pressures have changed significantly in recent decades and it’s vital that we do all we can to assist and encourage families to continue growing in their faith together. Our goal is to create a culture where families and faith can flourish. When the church and the home partner together two things happen, the church acknowledges the home as the primary place of spiritual nurture and families value the importance of the faith community in helping to nurture that faith. They work together to see children grow spiritually, develop mentoring relationships and learn to take an active part in the life of the faith community. The church’s role is to provide support and nurture to families as they undertake these tasks. It also provides a community to which the whole family can belong, share in, and live out the Christian faith. This partnership sees spiritual nurture as something that is home-centred and church-assisted, rather than church-centred and home-assisted. This is a shift in mindset from how we have often operated in the past. God’s design, as shown in Deuteronomy 6, is for generational discipleship. This means

that faith is integrated into family identity and practice. In her book, It Takes a Church to Raise a Parent, Rachel Turner writes, ’The skills that the church gives to parents are not to help them ‘pass on’ their faith, but to enable them to confidently help their children develop their own.’ We want our children to develop their own authentic, independent relationship with a living God, out of which their character and behaviour will flow. Together the church and family can intentionally enable children to experience what it means to be a disciple of Christ. As Ivy Beckwith says, ‘A church program can't spiritually form a child, but a family living in an intergenerational community of faith can.’

WE WANT OUR CHILDREN TO DEVELOP THEIR OWN AUTHENTIC, INDEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP WITH A LIVING GOD. "