Festival of Trees! P16
Happy Holidays! DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
LGBTQSD.NEWS
>>> FEATURE P16
“Lights On, Clothes Off”
>>> NEWS P5
Trevor Erwin (center), 19, has launched his own clothing store inside his father’s Darrell’s Modern Trends store in Hillcrest. He also has a studio where he makes the clothing he designs. (Courtesy Trevor Erwin)
‘In the clearing stands a boxer’ Local teen fashion phenom stitching in time
A pastor’s new calling
>>> COMMUNITY P100
Channeling Harvey Milk
>>> DINING P12
By Anthony Gioffre Guest Contributor Look out, San Diego! Look out America! Look out world! Here comes Trevor Erwin. The 19-year-old fashion designer with a store in Hillcrest. I didn’t know all this until I started buying his clothing. His company is “Insufficient Fun,” and it is located at 1201 University Ave. (on the corner of University and Vermont) in Hillcrest, inside Darrell’s Modern Trends Thrift Store. When I was 30 years of age, I opened a modeling agency in Upstate New York, a commercial agency with a new faces division for the fashion houses and agencies in New York. One of my major clients was Tommy Hilfiger. I previously worked for Elite/John Casablancas model
management agency, traveling throughout the country for a good 5 years before opening up on my own. Because I had a working relationship with Elite New York, Upstate New York and Northeastern Pennsylvania were my territories, in terms of discovering new faces for Elite New York, while operating my commercial agency in that region. So I have a history of seeking out young new talent. Circa 1990. It was a good time for me. Unfortunately, it was not for many people as AIDS hit the fashion industry like a sledgehammer. One of my good friends, the director of Perry Ellis Men, predicted the end of the “male up-and-coming fashion designer.” Because of AIDS, investors were shying away from investing
in young gay male designers, for fear of losing them to AIDS and thus their investments. After all, we lost Perry Ellis in 1986, model Gia Corangi in 1986, Willie Smith in 1987, and Halston in 1990.
See TREVOR page 13
‘Bringing Midge back home’ Little Italy Association and a myriad of sponsors dedicate ‘Piazza Costanza’
By Morgan M. Hurley
.
Feed your head with coffee
CONTACT US
619 61 9- 432-LG BT sales@lgbtqsd.news editor@lgbtqsd.news editor@lgbtqsd .news
(l to r) Denise Neleson, Sheryl Smith and Judy Copeland, all close friends of Midge, with an enlarged photo of her as grand marshall at the San Diego Pride parade, at the unveiling of Piazza Costanza Nov. 28. (Photo by Steve Silva)
Margaret “Midge” Costanza was a self-described “loudmouthed, pushy little broad” who made a name for herself on a national scale, but her ties to San Diego – especially its Italian and LGBT communities – have now been memorialized forever. On Tuesday, Nov. 28, which would have been Costanza’s 90th birthday, the Little Italy
See MIDGE page 4
NOMINATIONS FOR ‘HILLCREST HONORS 2023’ OPEN THROUGH DEC. 3 The second annual Hillcrest Honors has opened a nomination period through Sunday, Dec. 3, to give community members the vopportunity to suggest nominees for the 26 categories included in this year’s program. Founded by Rick Cervantes and Benny Cartwright in 2022, the Hillcrest Honors aims to uplift the people, businesses, organizations, and events that make Hillcrest such a fabulous neighborhood to live, work and play in. Unlike other local awards events, the Hillcrest Honors are not selected by popular vote, but by a holistic look at nominees who have made an impact over the last year. Categories range from things like Fabulous Bar and Fabulous Server, to Fabulous Philanthropist, Fabulous Community Volunteer, and special awards categories of Hillcrest Icon, Heart of Hillcrest, and Hillcrest Changemaker. A selection committee, led by Cartwright and Cervantes, will choose this year’s honorees in early December, and the announcement of the honorees will be posted on the @HillcrestSanDiego Instagram account between Dec. 15-31. LGBTQ San Diego County News will also list the honorees in our February edition. A private party to celebrate the honorees will be held in early February at a venue in Hillcrest. To make a nomination, visit hillcresthonors.com by the end of day on Sunday, Dec. 3. RALLY AGAINST ANTI-SEMITISM This Sunday, Dec. 3, 6 pm, there will be a rally “against anti-semitism” and other kinds of hate at the Hillcrest Pride Flag monument, located at the corner of University Avenue and Normal Street. Organizers identify sponsors of the rally to include the AntiDefamation League, San Diego Pride, The San Diego LGBT Community Center, the City of San Diego’s Human Relations Committee, the Harvey Milk Foundation, Metropolitan Community Church, Temple Emanu-El, the Imperial Court, and many others. A flyer regarding the rally states the following message: “Join us as we come together as a community for a peaceful rally to show solidarity with one another against hatred.” For more information, call 619-241-5672.
See NEWS BRIEFS page 3
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
LGBTQSD.NEWS
FEATURE | NEWS
LGBTQSD.NEWS
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
3
Amazon pulled the plug
Local author decides to give away book on exhibitionism By Frank Sabatini Jr. Retired professor Stu Schwartz of Kensington takes the sexual stigma out of exhibitionism in a book he first published more than two years ago through Amazon, called, “Lights On, Clothes Off: Confessions of an Unabashed Exhibitionist.” Unfortunately, Amazon doesn’t appear to have gotten the memo; they recently stopped working with him due to the book’s subject matter. Schwartz used to pose regularly as a nude model for the Museum of the Living Artist at the San Diego Art Institute in Balboa Park prior to COVID-19. He has also modeled for art students at various colleges and has given dozens of readings (with and without clothing) from his book to private groups at residences all over San Diego. Most recently, he presented a reading for a story-telling group at the Diversionary Theatre in University Heights, and continues to schedule them, dressed and undressed, to groups and organizations interested in learning about what makes an exhibitionist tick. “I have been doing this since the age of 18,” said Schwartz, who is now 78 years old and enjoys traveling the globe with his husband, Karl. “My posing and readings are for men and women, gay and straight,” he said, while stressing that “everyone must be over 18 years old.”
He went on to emphasize that exhibitionism is a misunderstood subject. “Some people think that being an exhibitionist is illegal. That is not true if you are doing your exhibitionism for a willing audience. It is not sexual. It simply demonstrates that nudity can be fun and enjoyable,” he added. Schwartz recalls awakening to his inner exhibitionism as far back as his early teens. “Those experiences involved play things with friends and being naked while swimming at the YMCA, back when the Y did not allow bathing suits,” he said. Several years later, at the age of 18, he began modeling nude for art classes while attending West Chester University in Pennsylvania. “I was looking for a job and saw a post on a bulletin board at my college to model for art classes,” Schwartz said. “It didn’t say ‘nude modeling.’ So I met with the secretary of the art department and she said they would love to have me pose for the classes. When I asked if I should wear any particular kind of outfit, she told me the job was for nude modeling.” Schwartz said he wasn’t necessarily shocked. He did recall, however, being initially a little nervous when looking out at a class of about 20 students after shedding his clothing and stepping onto the posing stand. “But within minutes I felt totally comfortable,” he quipped.
Local author and exhibitionist, Stu Schwartz
FROM PAGE 1
NEWS BRIEFS HILLCREST COMMUNITY HOLIDAY PARTY The Kiwanis Club of Hillcrest All-Inclusive, Hillcrest Town Council, and @HillcrestSanDiego have joined forces to host a Hillcrest Community Holiday Party on Thursday, Dec. 14 from 6-8:30 pm at Uptown Tavern. Everyone (21+) is welcome to the party and all Hillcrest neighbors and those who love Hillcrest are encouraged to attend. The festive evening will
include hosted appetizers, drink specials, and visits from several community leaders and elected officials. Guests are encouraged to wear their most festive “onesie” and there will be a contest with a $100 cash prize for the best onesie! The host organizations have come together to organize this party in an effort to build community in Hillcrest. For additional information, contact Rick Cervantes, vice president of the Hillcrest Kiwanis Club, at ricky.rc.cervantes@ gmail.com. Uptown Tavern is located at 1236 University Ave. in Hillcrest.
“I realized that I had no concerns about being naked in front of an audience.” That confidence would later lead him to dancing nude at gay bars in New York and Washington, D.C., while living in Philadelphia. “I commuted to those cities because there were more dancing opportunities in the bars and I didn’t want to be found out by my friends at the time,” he admitted. He also ran a nude-butler service some years ago in San Diego after working as a public information officer for a Florida fire department and as a professor at the University of Florida, where he taught and researched the subject of diversity. Schwartz draws a distinction between his days of being a nude dancer and butler in rooms full of clothed people versus posing nude in a structured environment such as an art class. He says the former generally gave him more satisfaction because “there was a certain level of eroticism to it.” He pointed out that writing his 395-page book, which was released in 2021, was yet another form of exhibitionism — and partly the reason he did so. In addition, he feels the book has been a way of helping other exhibitionists better understand themselves. “Over time, I’ve met quite a few people who are exhibitionists in hiding,” he said. “They either knew I had the bare butler service or danced in clubs or wrote the book. They wanted to learn more and talk with someone they had this in common with.” Lights On, Clothes Off covers Schwartz’s life from “my circumcision in front of family and friends” as an infant to his years in graduate school, thus highlighting many of his exhibitionist experiences throughout the book’s 42 chapters. Provocative encounters involving sexual responses from bar patrons and party goers are not excluded. The book sold hundreds of copies through Amazon in print form and electronically through Kindle. But then in early summer, Schwartz was notified by Amazon that the book’s cover and content do not meet the company’s community standards, even though the cover illustration is an abstract painting with no frontal
Flamy Grant is on fire. (Facebook)
The book Amazon claims goes against community standards.
nudity. As a result, Amazon ceased selling the book. “The content does have sexuality in it — but it is stories of me doing my exhibitionist thing for many years. It’s about experiences I’ve had. I don’t consider it pornographic at all,” he stressed. After writing to Amazon three times expressing his bafflement over the decision — and receiving no concrete explanation other than citing community standards — Schwartz decided to give the book away for free electronically to interested takers via his website, lightsonclothesoff.com. The book used to sell for $15.95, plus shipping. It can now be obtained for free through a link at the bottom of the website’s homepage. Schwartz welcomes donations through Paypal and/or Venmo, but they are not mandatory. When asked if he might seek a publisher to re-issue and distribute the book, Schwartz responded, “Probably not. I’m not feeling the need to get the book published again. But I’m
FLAMY GRANT MEETS KICKSTARTER GOAL FOR NEW ALBUM IN TWO DAYS Matthew Lovegood, also known as their drag persona, Flamy Grant, left San Diego in early September with their husband Christopher Lovegood (former server at Hillcrest Brewing Company and trivia host extraordinaire at Gossip Grill) and headed to Asheville, North Carolina, where Matthew is originally from. Their long planned departure unexpectedly came on the heels of Flamy’s debut studio album of religious trauma songs, called
delighted when I get requests from people who have heard about it and to give them a free copy.” Schwartz added that he had planned on penning another book chronicling his life from graduate school to present day. “But given that Amazon dumped me, I lost my motivation to write the second book,” he said. For now, Schwartz revels in traveling with his husband, which includes taking three or four cruises a year, and fulfilling occasional appointments from adult audiences for readings from his book, naked or dressed. If given the choice, he noted with a chuckle, “I prefer to do them naked.” –Frank Sabatini Jr. has been writing about food in San Diego for over 35 years. He launched his own food blog during the pandemic, called, “The Hash Star,” which you can follow at thehashstar.com. He can be reached at frank. sabatini92108@gmail.com ▼ “Bible Belt Baby,” topping the iTunes Christian music charts in August and creating a firestorm of attention -- from each end of the spectrum. “All I ever wanted as a child was to be a Christian music star,” Flamy has often told her followers, and it’s happening. Attacks from far right religious zealots reacting to their album and name actually helped “Bible Belt Baby” climb the charts and it has definitely made Flamy a genuine star; they currently have 17,500 followers on Instagram. It’s important to note that “Flamy Grant” pays homage
See BRIEFS page 15
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
NEWS
LGBTQSD.NEWS
FROM PAGE 1
MIDGE
Association (LIA), along with various local leaders, philanthropists, friends, family, and other well wishers, gathered at the corner of West Ash and Columbia streets for the unveiling of “Piazza Costanza,” a public space that pays homage to the first woman to ever hold the title, “Assistant to the President of the United States.” San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria was on hand to “cut the ribbon,” along with District 3 Councilmember Stephen Whitburn, former state senator Dede Alpert, former congresswoman Susan Davis, among many others, with Marco LiMandri, the Little Italy Association’s chief executive administrator acting as the master of ceremonies. This piazza was a dream come true for LiMandri, who said he first started looking into the idea back in 2015. LiMandri spoke to the developer of the condos under construction at West Ash and Columbia and asked if they could forgo the half block of parking spaces and the existing slope to expand the sidewalk and create a leveled off area. They agreed and soon the 2,000 square feet of space was like a blank canvas. “Then it sat there for four years,” LiMandri said, referencing the delays caused by COVID-19. Soon their fundraising efforts and the project were back on track and the LIA began the formal planning and design process. LiMandri said Little Italy already had two piazzas dedicated to men and he was adamant the next one was named after a woman and he knew Costanza checked all the boxes. Besides, she is the only one of the three who spent time in San Diego’s Little Italy, often lunching with LiMandri himself.
(l to r) Midge Costanza, former San Diego District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis and Lily Tomlin at a party in an undated photon. (Courtesy Bonnie Dumanis)
Rev. Alisan Rowland is leaving San Diego’s MCC church for a chaplain position in Bellingham, Washington. (Photo by Steve Silva)
“I used to run into her on India Street all the time,” he said. While former San Diego District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis, who was a close friend of Costanza’s, was out of town and could not attend, her wife Denise Neleson spoke on their behalf at the ceremony. Dumanis and Neleson were early contributors to the piazza’s fundraising efforts. “You always knew when Midge entered a room because of her unmistakable hearty laugh, New York style banter and quick wit,” Neleson said in her remarks. “She was soon the center of attention at any gathering. But when away from the microphone, Midge was softer, very caring, a great listener, and a tremendous friend. “She always had the courage of her convictions and spoke truth to power,” Neleson continued. “[She] was passionate, powerful, generous, mischievous, funny, inspirational, quirky, and a wonderful human being … Midge was a character who had character and we are all better for the ways she touched our lives.
for judge and later her run for district attorney. Both were successful bids, thanks in part to Costanza’s efforts. In 2005, Costanza started working for Dumanis in the DA’s office as part of the executive team and heading up social outreach, focusing on seniors. Dumanis said Costanza soon became quite close to her parents and they all spent many meals together. “[My parents] were old school democrats and they loved talking politics with her,” Dumanis said. Nicole Murray Ramirez admired Costanza and has fond memories of both her and her legacy. “Midge was one of the best political strategists both nationally and locally and it served women and the LGBT community well, especially during the 1970s,” Nicole said. “We would meet for lunch at times and dish about politics and public officials; she had a wild, cutting sense of humor so she could ‘read’ like the best of queens. “She was very proud of her Italian heritage and would have loved this well-deserved recognition,” Nicole said. The piazza was a labor of love for LiMandri and he’s proud to have led the first effort in honoring her. “In bringing Midge back home – and it was like a homecoming, a truly beautiful event – this was the first tribute; she’s from
She is most deserving of this tribute today.” The daughter of Sicilian immigrants, Costanza hailed from Rochester, New York, where she was also the first woman to be elected to their city council in 1973. According to several obituaries online, she met a then-relatively unknown Jimmy Carter while she embarked on an unsuccessful bid for congress, and later joined him on the campaign trail for his own political run for the presidency. She opened doors for Carter up to women and working class voters and then he thanked her by bringing her to the White House as “Assistant to the President for Public Liaison.” Women did not hold the same status around men in the 1970s, nor the respect or deference as they do today, so Costanza’s matter-of-fact and outgoing manner created quite a stir within the political circles she had been thrust into. After she left the White House, she moved to Los Angeles for a time, and then landed in San Diego in 1990. Dumanis said she first met Costanza when she was running for judge. She attended one of Costanza’s speaking engagements and “got caught up in it.” “She talked about equity and inclusion before it was a popular theme,” Dumanis said. They became fast friends and Costanza soon joined in to help Dumanis with her campaign
Rochester and they don’t even have a tribute for her,” LiMandri said, adding that Mayor Gloria told him he is friends with the mayor of Rochester and has poked fun at him for that very reason. “It was something I’ve always wanted to do, to honor Midge, and the incredible contributions she’s made, not only locally but nationwide. “We want people to know that when they come to San Diego, they need to come to Little Italy and come to Piazza Costanza and look at all the great things she did, all the statements that she made and then look at all the pictures of her,” he said. Part of the design includes quotes Costanza made imprinted on the side of benches. “I encourage anybody in the community, anyone in the county, to just go and sit in Piazza Costanza and read about Midge and learn what an incredible impact she had – on the women’s community, the LGBT community and workers of all kinds,” LiMandri said. “She was a window to the world.” To learn more about Piazza Costanza, visit bit.ly/3uCz0Ph or visit it yourself at the corner of West Ash and Columbia streets. You just might hear her laugh. —Morgan M. Hurley is the editor-in-chief of this newspaper. You can reach her at editor@ lgbtqsd.news. ▼
(left) President Jimmy Carter with Midge Costanza, the woman who became the first ever assistant to a US president after he appointed her to his White House team in 1977. (right) Midge with then-Senator Joe Biden. Costanza spent two years in D.C. and later found her home in San Diego, where she remained active in politics, mentoring young pols and assisting with campaigns. (Photos courtesy Little Italy Association)
NEWS
LGBTQSD.NEWS
by Neal Putnam
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
5
Beloved pastor leaving MCC
She believes “God is sending me” to her next assignment
Dec. 3 is the last Sunday Rev. Pastor Dan and Mo McElroy Alisan Rowland will be at the both came forward with tissue Metropolitan Community Church boxes. “They’re coming in every (MCC) following her surprise direction. That’s how good you announcement Nov. 26 that she are,” she remarked to laughter, is leaving to become a hospital just before receiving her first chaplain in Washington state. standing ovation. She received several standing “I prayed about it. I know ovations during her sermon that that God is sending me there,” Sunday, though everyone said Rowland said. “I love you. they would miss her in her role as “Because of MCC, I was able a staff clergy person. to train to become a chaplain “Rev. Alisan has been a gift to and that gave me the opportunity our church for many years,” said to work as a hospice chaplain Rev. Dan Koeshall, senior Pastor and offer support to people who of MCC. “Her caring attitude were ill before they died,” she and sensitive heart and genuine said. “It was my relationship to concern for others will be missed this church – to The Met – that and we know that we will remain allowed me to have in each others’ hearts.” these opportunities.” In addition to MCC, Rowland After she concluded, Koeshall, is also leaving the Uptown speaking for the congregation, Community Service Center, an told Rowland that they loved her Rev. Alisan Rowland is leaving San Diego’s MCC church for a chaplain position in Bellingham, Washington. (Photo by Ken West-Gale) organization that distributes food and would miss her. and clothing to needy families “God does not work in a “Allie, you will be missed, but “This church created hope for and the homeless, where she has “She blossomed into this vacuum,” he added, turning to we know you will always be with me when I first found it in 1997,” served as its executive director amazing pastor,” said MCC the congregation. “When God us,” wrote Martin Sherman on Rowland shared with those in for several years. church member David Root. calls people, God calls others.” the Facebook page of the attendance at the Sunday service. Despite her busy roles at “She’s an amazing gift to our Cards of appreciation are MCC service. “You helped create this space both UCSC and MCC, Rowland church and our community and being collected in a box in the Rowland said she will remain of unconditional love, where said she has also volunteered to she’s going to be missed.” lobby at the church, located at the online host for the MCC I gained confidence in myself. pastor inmates at the Richard J. “It’s a loss for us, but it’s a 2633 Denver Street in Bay Park. Sunday service that is available You made it possible to find my Donovan Correctional Facility in gain for them,” said Lyn Malone, All cards collected will be given to on Facebook. voice to sing, to preach, and you South Bay. another church member. Rowland on Dec. 3. Rowland previously pastored supported me when I fell in love She will start her hospital Choir Director Armond Her sermon on Sunday, an MCC church in New Orleans with Pam, and you supported chaplaincy position in Washington described Rowland Nov. 26 (when she made her ISO 12647-7 Digital Control Strip 2009 from and she family. Bellingham, on30Dec. 100 60 as 100 “a sweet person.” was titled, 100 60 Washington, 70 devoted 30 100 60 40 100 40 100later 40 70 3 100 70 100 10 25 announcement) 50 75 90 100 70 30 2014-2019 100 40 40 70 40 70 40 40 my 40 40 70 40 70 40 40 A returned to San Diego MCC. She “You helped me cope with my 18, giving her just two weeks to We sure will miss her,” said Al “You Cared for Me,” and she recalled when she left before, best friend’s suicide, with the loss make her move. Smithson, MCC vice moderator. mentioned that statement in telling the congregation on of my dad,” she continued. “You Accolades and well-wishes “She’s been with us for many her sermon. Sunday “God is calling me became a part of my hope. You poured in at the church years. We pray for the best for To learn more about MCC, 100 100 60 after 100 100the70service, 70 30 30 100 100 60this 100 100 100 100 7.4 7.4 25 19 19visit 50 40themetchurch.org. 40 75 66 66 100 100 100 80 70 70 100 70 70 chapter 30 30 100 60 life.” 70 70 away 30 30 again.” 100 40 100 40 40 100 10 40 40 20 70 70 raised 70 70 40 me 70 40 0000 3.1 2.2 2.2 10.2 in40 ministry. You cared immediately newest in 100 her She structured her for me and I’m so grateful.” and through social media, from “We were blessed. We announcement by recounting her Rowland became tearful at both parishioners and MCC staff certainly wish her well,” said Patti –Neal Putnam is a local history with MCC. that point and asked for after Rowland’s announcement Kennedy, also a member of reporter. You can reach him at T:10.25" some tissues. became public. the church. nealputnam@gmail.com ▼ 3%
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
OPINION
LGBTQSD.NEWS
LGBTQ San Diego County News P.O. Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 619-432-LGBT PUBLISHER Eddie Reynoso publisher@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Morgan M. Hurley editor@lgbtqsd.news GRAPHIC DESIGN Chad Bevan creative@lgbtqsd.news COMMUNITY EDITOR Benny Cartwright community@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtqsd.news ADVERTISING SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news 858-886-9458 SENIOR COLUMNIST Nicole Murray Ramirez CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Mike Phillips | Neal Putnam | Frank Sabatini Jr. Anthony Gioffre Connor Maddocks
Opinion
Editor’s Notebook By Morgan M. Hurley
.
Happy December dear readers. I want to start out by thanking Eddie Reynoso, our publisher, for giving me the opportunity to be the editor of this paper. I took quite a long hiatus after I left Gay San Diego, and honestly forgot how much I love doing this. It’s a lot of work but it is very rewarding. Thank you to Benny Cartwright for being my wingman and support system. And thank you to Big Mike Phillips for always showing up with a smile and your camera to document the important events around our community. I also want to thank Nicole Murray Ramirez, who took several random texts from me the other night about Midge Costanza and I had no idea he was in San Francisco about to give a speech at the 45th anniversary of the murder of Harvey Milk. Nicole is the hardest working activist I have ever known and while she still has a knack for being controversial (which has toned down over the years), she is without a doubt the biggest icon in our community. Full stop. Besides, as the saying goes, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” We are publishing Nicole’s full speech from that same rally (page 10), so make sure you read it. We do need a renaissance in 2024. Last but certainly not least, I want to thank all of you for supporting our efforts here. We are very proud of this little hyper-local LGBTQ newspaper, and we truly enjoy bringing you as much news about the community as we can fit into its
monthly pages. We did trim the paper down to 16 pages but have packed it full of news and other tidbits we think you will enjoy or benefit from. We brought back the opinion page and letters and the reaction has been great. One of my favorite things has been having Frank Sabatini Jr. back with his Foodie Flashes. I always learn so much and look forward to trying out the latest food trends and spaces that he shares with us. And I was so impressed with the resourcefulness of Connor Maddocks’ column on trans travel. I think I’ll be sharing that one again since it’s travel season. Benny always has the best perspective and doesn’t hesitate to call himself out when necessary. He’s been a stalwart leader in this community for decades and I’m so proud to call him friend and to have him as part of this paper. I don’t know how he stretches himself so thin with all he’s involved in, but sure glad he does. Big Mike’s new column has been an absolute hit! We sat down in late May and I asked him to shift his focus to writing about our community’s history from his own eyes. He is a great story teller, I told him then – and the proof is in the pudding. He has been doing a bang-up job and his columns have been hitting it out of the park every month. The most important thing to all of this is that you’ve
responded -- as readers of the hardcopy paper, as followers of our online stories and breaking news through social media, and as advertisers – and we truly appreciate you all so much. We recently found out that 15 of the 20 highest-read online articles in the past year of the paper have been published since June. That really made us feel good to know we are accomplishing our goals, and reaching our audience, so thank you again. We were also happy to see that the previous managers of this specific periodical quickly struck out on their own and launched The Word, which publishes just one day before we do each month. As a result, we lost a couple of our columnists who rejoined them, and that’s okay. They deserve to be where they feel most comfortable. We are happy with what we are doing here, and I wish them all great success. To be honest, I really don’t see The Word as our competitor; my job is to bring you news and lots of it; they seem to be more of a feature magazine, which is also a good thing to have. So there is room for both of us. One thing I am extremely excited about in the coming year is having a new theater reviewer on board. It truly is the perfect fit and I can’t wait for her to start. The lovely Ms. B (Chris Barone) will be hitting up theaters on our behalf and dishing her love
of everything stage out on the page every month. Can’t you just see it!? We will also be launching a calendar section, so stay tuned for that. The logistics of the calendar are still in the works but I look forward to having one. There is so much happening in our community and it all deserves to be shared. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us – by email, by posting on a story online, or by commenting on our Facebook page – we want to hear from you and we love sharing your words in our letters to the editor. And of course you can always approach us while out and about. We love that, too. My cover story on Margaret “Midge” Costanza was a joy to write, and made me feel I’d come full circle. The very first obituary I ever wrote was Midge’s, back in 2010, when I was a copy editor at San Diego Gay & Lesbian News (sdgln.com). I did a lot of research on that article and was hoping to lean on it as a resource, but alas, all the work many of us put into sdgln.com has disappeared into the ether. Anyway, make sure you read that story; the leaders of Little Italy are so passionate about this new public space they designed specifically as an homage to her. She also meant a lot to our LGBT community and we meant a lot to her. Go check out Piazza Costanza next time you are in Little Italy (Corner of W. Ash and Columbia). I’m excited to share that we may be undergoing a re-branding soon – plans are still under wraps but we will share as soon as we can and maybe even include you to provide input. So long for now -- it’s a scary world right now, but I hope you can find some solace and happiness in the coming weeks with loved ones or your chosen family. Until 2024 … –Morgan ▼
PUBLISHER EMERITUS Terry Sidie David Mannis ASSOC. PUBLISHER EMERITUS Nicole Murray Ramirez NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVE Charles Wellman charles@rivendellmedia.com 908-232-2021 EXT 225
CALIFORNIA SALES REPRESENTATIVE Scott Wazlowski advertising@ebar.com 415-829-8937 DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free monthly. © 2023. All Rights Reserved. SUBMISSIONS / NEWS TIPS For tips, stories, letters to the editor, or other media inquiries, email editor@lgbtqsd.news. EDITOR’S NOTE The opinions written in this publication’s advertorial, editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.
This publication was supported in part by a grant from the City of San Diego
OPINION
LGBTQSD.NEWS
Letters Editor’s Note: We accept and encourage letters to the editor, and we curate our “letters” from emails, snail mail, Facebook, and comments on our website. However, we reserve the right to publish – or not to publish – any particular submission or comment, and if we do choose to publish, it does not mean that we align or agree with the writer’s intentions, assertions or allegations.
Upsets at San Diego Pride
[Ref: “Lopez suddenly resigns from San Diego Pride,” online at bit.ly/3SXWDvJ]
Fernando has taken San Diego Pride to places we could never have imagined or dreamt of. Their vision locally, nationally and internationally has been remarkable. Not only are they a visionary but a creative genius who can think way beyond the box. I admire and respect all that they have done and the places they have taken SD Pride. –Judi Schaim (past board president, San Diego Pride), via lgbtqsd.news
Bathhouse boys
[Ref: “The Shoulders I Stand Upon: History of San Diego’s Bathhouses,” Vol. 4, Issue 27, or online at bit.ly/40gHnM5] I had my first experience as a gay man in this bathhouse and will never forget what it meant to me. So glad they still have a bathhouse in san diego, love club
san diego it’s run so well can’t wait to go there and live my gay lifestyle. –Steven Whiting, via lgbtqsd.news
Ode to Flicks
[Ref: “Flick’s 40th anniversary photo gallery,” Vol. 4, Issue 27, or online at bit.ly/3T4IWuS] When I moved here from LA in 1983 it was new, but small! Only the left part was open! Great music and videos back then! –Bjorn Palenius, via lgbtqsd.news One of the first places I went to (circa 1987), as a young man. Congratulations, Flicks on your well deserved anniversary. –Carlos C., via lgbtqsd.news
Capturing a spirit
[Ref: “Obituary: Eric Anthony Crew (1985-2023),” Vol. 4, Issue 25, or online at bit.ly/47ADggB] Sorry to learn this sad news. I met Eric when I reached out to him to add his oral history to the collection I was contributing to at Lambda Archives. Thank you for capturing the breadth and depth of his short life. –J. Marcus Newman, via lgbtqsd.news
Ab0ut body shaming
[Ref: “Body shaming 101: I’m okay with my body, you need to be, too,” Vol. 4, Issue 25, or online at bit.ly/40gHnM5] It’s an unfortunate reality that gay men are the worst offenders of weight cruelty. Like Benny, my nephew, I also grew up in
San Diego, but I don’t remember this being an issue in the 1970s. I guess we were still low in numbers at that time in San Diego and respected one another because of it. We were trying to make our mark like NYC and had no time for turning against one another just because of a weight issue! I finally left San Diego in 1981 and headed to San Francisco to live. I think it was most likely the ’80s where we started to thrive and show our bodies off on the streets of Polk, Castro, and Folsom. This is when things about body image really began to change. I was muscular at the time, thank God! Attitudes changed and it seemed to become that we were more than who we were at the time! People, we are still fighting for our freedom, so we need to be united within and stop hating among ourselves!! Peace out. –Thom Cartwright, via lgbtqsd.news Benny, your story hits home for many of us. At 76, ageism is an added experience you will have. I am no longer that man with six-pack abs that showed in photos of my youth. I move more slowly with less certainty and my memory is not as sharp or quick as it was in my youth. Sooner or later, those who are lucky enough to live as long and lead as active of a life as I have, will see their skin begin to sag and shrivel as age spots and wrinkles ravage their complexion and muscles weaken. While I joke that the six-pack I had has dropped lower and
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29 now I carry a pony keg, I have become accepting of myself and am a better person for enduring and accepting the evolution age brings with as much grace as possible. My message to people of all body types, shapes and ages is that the journey of life ends too soon for too many … embrace and accept your journey, reflect and be thankful for your life. Don’t judge or be judged on changing appearances but on what you and others contribute to the world while you are alive. –William (Bill) Kelly, via lgbtqsd.news With a booty like mine, you know I’ve heard this song before.
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Thank you for being so honest about it, it’s just life and no one’s business what our body looks like. Do your thing for you. Gay judgment is not my favorite thingh about our community and we can do better. xoxo –Joelle, via lgbtqsd.news
More love for Big Mike
[Ref: “The Shoulders I Stand Upon: How Did I Get Here?,” Vol. 4, Issue 17, or online at bit.ly/3OfEtl7] Such a heartbreaking yet inspiring story Mike. I’m glad you gave San Diego a chance and built a new life and made many friends, all thanks to Tino. –Tin Aung, via lgbtqsd.news ▼
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
LGBTQSD.NEWS
COMMUNITY VOICES
The gif t of givi vin ng
The Imperial Court is still gifting with love
It is now that time of year when we celebrate the holidays and show gratitude by sharing with those who are not as fortunate as many of us are. San Diego’s LGBTQ community has proven that we are a very giving, loving, and generous group of caring individuals. Working in the bars, especially The Brass Rail in the very early 1990s, opened doors for me in this area personally, by watching the Imperial Court de San Diego and all the amazing events/fundraisers they did all year round to help those in need. I learned in those early days that the Imperial Court did not just help our own community, but any human being that needed food, medicine, financial assistance, blankets, Thanksgiving meals, Christmas meals, toys, Easter baskets for the kids, and so on. The Imperial Court has always been a huge example of what charity really means and they truly walk the talk and lead by example. Working in this environment and witnessing these acts of kindness every single Wednesday and Sunday evening really touched my heart, as people gladly donated money for these causes to help others in our community. I would even donate part of my tips during my shifts in those days, just so I could help make a difference.
Fernando “Junior” Buendia, Jr., founder of “We Care,” gathered thousands of toys annually from members of local LGBTQ sports teams.
It was at this time in 1990 that I met Empress Nicole the Great (Nicole Murray Ramirez), who in 2007 would become Queen Mother of the Americas and head of the International Court Council, the oldest and one of the largest LGBTQ organizations in the world. Nicole invited me to join the organization, because as he said,
(l to r) Big Mike, Nicole Murray Ramirez and Michael Lochner gearing up for the annual Turkey Drive. (All photos courtesy Big Mike Phillips)
“I see a lot of potential in you and I see you have a big heart, you would be a perfect fit for this organization.” I did agree to join, but at the same time, I felt that I would be better behind the scenes. You see, I never felt comfortable wearing those beautiful uniforms that so many would and still wear. I love to see everyone else in them, though. Giving back has changed my life forever; knowing that I, along with so many others, can join together to help provide love and support and bring people together, has been a true gift in return for me in life, as well as helping me become a worthy human being. The Imperial Court gave me that opportunity, the Scott Carlson Thanksgiving Dinner (later renamed the Scott Carlson/ Dan Ferbal Thanksgiving Dinner), held yearly at the San Diego LGBT Community Center auditorium, was one of the first fundraisers I ever did with the Court. It was mind blowing, and still is to this day, to see the generosity of our community; not only those who donate, cook, and serve, but someone has to store and refrigerate all those turkeys until the big day every year, and that happens to be Hillcrest Brewing Company (thank you Joey Arruda). It takes a lot of planning to make all this happen. For the most part, my dear friend, former emperor, and past Imperial Court board president Mikie Lochner, has taken on the responsibility of leadership for so many years. It is a lot of hard work, thanks to all the volunteers who are members of the Court and many others in our community, as well. It is always so wonderful every year to see our elected officials and community leaders come and volunteer their time serving and helping in every way. Mayor Todd Gloria, former mayor Faulconer and his wife were in attendance this year, and many others, including Assembly Pro Tem Atkins and many others in the past. Also, for the past 15 years, Nicole Murray Ramirez, Mikie Lochner, and myself, have made it our mission to collect turkeys and gift cards, not only for the
above mentioned Thanksgiving dinner, but also for individual families, senior homes, the Barrio, abused women’s housing, people living with HIV and cancer, and so on. The Court has literally helped hundreds of people every year to give them the same Thanksgiving as others have, with a hot meal, love, and compassion, because of the generosity of our amazing community. The Imperial Court even served “to go” boxes of food during the COVID-19 epidemic. This holiday event has been part of my life for over 25 years,
and soul, just because we are there to make them feel included as human beings with a hot meal and a room filled with so much love. We have people from all walks of life that join us at The Center, who sit together in fellowship of care and gratitude, and many are our own LGBTQ brothers and sisters, who are not welcomed by their own families. We feed the sick, those living with HIV, cancer, the homeless, and just anyone who may be alone and hungry. WOW, it still gives me goose bumps to this day.
Then-Mayor Kevin Faulconer and wife Katherine work the serving line at the Scott Carlson/Dan Ferbal annual Thanksgiving Dinner held at The Center.
I don’t think I have ever missed helping to gather food and money for the Thanksgiving Dinner. It has always been a day of love, sharing, inclusion and appreciation for everyone; watching all those smiles, knowing that there were people in the community who care for them and did not leave them behind on this day, we give thanks. I will tell you it is so heartwarming to hear the thank yous and the stories of what others must do just to survive alone. The feeling of gratitude from so many of these people that attend really touches the heart
More giving still to come After Thanksgiving comes the blanket drive. Every year, we collect money, blankets, jackets, and even socks from our community, to help keep those on the streets warm, especially veterans, families with children, and the elderly. Together with Nicole and Mikie, as well as many Court members, we do our best to collect as much warmth as possible. And as soon as the blanket drive is over, the Court starts the Toy Drive. In 1975, Emperor Craig Morgan and Empress Nicole the Great held a toy drive
for the Marine Corps’ “Toys for Tots.” However, when it became known the toys were being donated by gays, the Marines refused to pick them up. As a result, the Imperial Court has been doing their own toy drive ever since. About a decade ago, I approached my dear friend, Fernando Buendia (aka “Junior”), who was heavily involved with many of the local LGBTQ sports leagues, and asked him if he could send out an email asking our sports teams to donate a toy. Well, Junior went one step further; he created his own event called “WE CARE,” which encouraged our LGBTQ sports team members to donate toys each year. In the 10 years since, Junior has collected more than 80,000 toys, allowing the Imperial Court to make so many children happy. On top of that, so many of our generous community members and business have always stepped up by donating toys as well. Yes, the Imperial Court does a handful of back-to-back events during the holidays, but they are raising much needed funds all year long. So many amazing, caring, and loving people have been and still are a part of the San Diego Imperial Court. Life in San Diego for me has always been a treat and that’s why I call it home, to have such loving and caring friends who include me to help with such great causes. The Court has and always will be a beacon of light, hope, and love to the people of San Diego; no matter who you are, they have your back. Thank you to our LGBTQ community, I am so proud to be a part of this love, compassion, generosity, and inclusion. One last comment, if I may. I would like to express my gratitude to our Publisher Eddie Reynoso and our Editor Morgan Hurley for this opportunity to share and write my stories from my life, as I have experienced them here in San Diego. It has been a true honor to be a part of living, working, sharing, and giving back these last 34 years here in San Diego. I know how blessed I am and that is because of so many of you who have stood by my side and supported me, my ideas, my challenges, and my charities, you are always here to support me. And a huge thank you to you for reading our news outlet the LGBTQ San Diego County News and thank you for taking the time to read my column. I am truly humbled. With all the challenges in the world we are facing, I believe in my heart that good will always be around, especially in the incredible community I live in. It is easy to get involved, all you need to do is show up, whether that be to volunteer, donate your time, resources, money or just show up at an event that is raising money. I look forward to seeing many of you in 2024 as we continue to help make the world a better place for us all. These are the shoulders I stand upon. –Big Mike Phillips is a local photographer, bartender, and longtime LGBT activist and fundraiser. You can reach him at bmsd1957@gmail.com ▼
COMMUNITY VOICES | NEWS
LGBTQSD.NEWS
My weekend on the circuit While I have spent plenty of time in our local bars and nightclubs, one type of nightlife experience I had never taken part in is the “circuit party.” What is a circuit party? It’s described by some sources as a dance and social event for gay men that extends through an entire night and into the following day. Circuit parties are held along with a number of affiliated events in the days leading up to and following the main event. These types of parties are held around the country, with many gay men spending thousands of dollars a year on travel, outfits, and admission to these events. As social as I am, many people don’t realize that I’m very uncomfortable in large crowds and will usually avoid our local bars during their peak hours when they are wall-to-wall with revelers. And as I get a bit older, the quieter the bar the better for
me, which is why I usually just go to afternoon happy hours (but yes, I admit, sometimes my plan to just stay for happy hour extends late into the night). But circuit parties just never appealed to me. Whether I wasn’t comfortable with my body image (these events are known to be filled with very beautiful, scantily-clad men), or I couldn’t afford it, or the thought of being on a crowded dance floor made my anxiety skyrocket. I also always had the idea that these events were cliquey and full of “mean girl” gays. So, I just stayed away from the scene. Well, that all changed this year. As many of you know, I worked the door at venues around town for years, including Rich’s, Numbers, Uptown Tavern, and others during a variety of special events. It was such a pleasure to be there and get to greet everyone who came through the door but as my day job commitments got busier and I really just got tired of working every weekend, I mostly retired from my door gigs. But I still get the itch every once in a while and when I’m asked, I usually say yes. Over Pride weekend in July, I was asked to work the check-in table for the Unite! Music Festival, and over Thanksgiving weekend, I worked for the Turn San Diego Glow Festival. And what a marvelous experience it was. The love, energy, and good vibes I felt all weekend long were incredible. It was exhausting -the parties during Pride weekend went til 6 or 8 am, and two of the Thanksgiving weekend parties went til 5 am, but I really enjoyed every moment of it. All of my
preconceived notions about the “circuit boys” were put to rest. While I didn’t partake on the dance floor, I found everyone to be incredibly nice and grateful to have me there. Hundreds of well-built men in jockstraps and bikinis passed through my line and every single person was so kind. In fact, another reason I was tired of working the door at the Hillcrest nightspots was that so many people have become incredibly rude in recent years. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too keen on arguing with 21-year-old college women about a $10 cover charge anymore. And this past Sunday, the Turn festival ended with a day party at The Merrow in Hillcrest, and the mood was more “chill,” so I was able to spend less time working, and more time hanging out and enjoying the music and atmosphere. I made so many new friends, people I might not have even considered friendships with before, and I am so grateful I gave this experience a chance. These guys (and some women who attend) are full of love, and just want to let loose and live life to the fullest. It helped me remember the importance of these spaces – especially for gay men -- to come together and be free. Speaking of spaces for gay men, I want to apologize to local promoter Paul Gunn, known for events like TRICK and HANMANDLE. Paul is bringing back his TRICK event tonight (Friday, Dec. 1) at The Rail, and it’s looking to be a great time in a space specifically designed for men of all types. In his marketing materials, Paul wrote something that struck me as off and in my
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29 anger about it, I called him a misogynist and threatened to use this column to call him out on it. The line that struck me was: “We strive to keep this event a male only space for you to feel comfortable in so you needn’t bring your girlfriends. Fag hags are so 90’s.” I’ve thought long and hard about it and realized there is value in a space for men and men only. In fact, someone explained it over this past weekend while I was working at the Turn Festival. The main security guard at the event was female. She was lovely, gay-friendly, and totally open to the community. At one point, she wanted to peek her head into the main room where the dance floor was and she said there were noticeable gasps from the guys when she walked in. The room was full of men in jockstraps, many feeling the sexy, energetic vibe of the room, and enjoying each other’s bodies. When a woman is brought into the equation, it can change the vibe. This person explained further that gay men have also felt like “protectors” of our female friends. For years, non-LGBTQ women have come to gay bars to feel safe from the male gaze they get in traditional bars, and when the men are in a hyper-sexual environment with each other, they can’t take on that same protector role. Just as many women create spaces exclusively for women, sometimes gay men need their own spaces, too (and of course, inclusive of trans men). I get it and understand why Paul wants to create a malepositive space, especially since so many of our bars have been
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overrun by non-LGBTQ people in recent years. It’s made things uncomfortable. I will hold to my feeling that Paul’s statement “Fag hags are so ’90s” is a bit off-color, as I feel he could have made the point that this is an intentional men’s space without denegrating “fag hags.” I have no problem with the word “fag” -- I use it lovingly all the time with my other gay friends (and some idiot once anonymously tried to get me in trouble with my employer when I lovingly referred to my friends in a photo as “my fags.”). But “fag hags,” in my opinion, are those women who us gay men “dragged around” to everywhere we went so we wouldn’t have to go out alone, these were the women who loved us unconditionally no matter how awful we were to them sometimes. These are the women who are a part of our community because they “get it” and will always have our back. I regard them differently than the new crowd of folks who come to our bars because “it’s cool” and don’t adhere to our community norms. With that said, I don’t believe Paul is a misogynist and I apologize for my very public post calling him that. We may disagree on some terminology but that’s ok – no one agrees on everything. I’m excited for his event and look forward to this space to celebrate male sexuality and have a good time. Happy holidays! –Benny Cartwright is a longtime activist and community leader. Reach him at community@ lgbtqsd.news. Follow him on Instagram @BennyC80 ▼
Enjoy December Nights’ new ‘mobile experience’ and ice skating rink Community members are invited to participate in the festive December Nights in Balboa Park. The annual event will be held this weekend, starting Friday, Dec. 1, from 3 to 11 pm, and then on Saturday, Dec. 2, from 11 am to 11 pm. December Nights, which will transform the park into a winter wonderland with an ice rink near Panama Plaza, has been welcoming millions of guests over the last four decades and is San Diego’s largest free event. More than 1,600 performers, 70 performance groups and five stages will make up the entertainment, with museums open to the public for free and 200+ food vendors of every kind. This year city staff have launched a new feature – a mobile website called December Nights Mobile Experience, which will make it easier for attendees to navigate the festivities and create their own unique experience. Made available through a partnership between the City of San Diego and San Diego Community Power, the mobile website will include information about parking, transit, food, vendors,
entertainment and performance schedules, maps of attractions, and even offer time sensitive alerts. “Our December Nights celebration is a joyous and beloved annual tradition that helps San Diego kick off the holiday season,” said San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria. “I want to thank our City of San Diego staff and everyone who bring this event to life every year.” On Friday, at 6 p.m., Mayor Gloria will join Councilmember Stephen Whitburn and event organizers for a festive tree lighting ceremony on the Spreckels Organ Pavilion Stage. There will be free shuttle services available from various locations, a free bike valet, and free and pre-paid vehicle parking options with shuttle service from outside the park, but a reminder that parking is limited and attendees are encouraged to find alternative transportation. MTS will run a free shuttle from the City College transit hub to Balboa Park. December Nights will take place “rain or shine.” To learn more, visit the mobile website at experience.arcgis.com. ▼
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
COMMUNITY VOICES
LGBTQSD.NEWS
2024: Year of the LGBTQ renaissance
Remembrance Days.” So I was thinking about all these special days, but I don’t remember many days for just US. You know, us Trans, NonBinary, Gender Divergent, Agender, Trans Masc, Trans Femme, Intersex, Gender Non-Disclosure, Neuro-fabulous, and everyone else in our awesome community. So as my gift this year to my very special siblings, no matter where you are, I dedicate these following days to you. Feel free to celebrate them whenever and however you like, because we do it our way!
A rebirth, a revival, a renewal
(l to r) Nicole and Harvey Milk in an undated photo. (Facebook)
(Editor’s note: On Monday, Nov. 27, 2023, Nicole Murray Ramirez spoke at a vigil at San Francisco’s Harvey Milk Plaza, on the 45th anniversary of the assassinations of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk. Below is a printed copy of Nicole’s speech from the vigil.) Good evening, mi comadres y compadres. First, I would also like to acknowledge that this is Native American Heritage Month and that we stand on sacred Native land and give our love and respect to them for honoring us, as two-spirited people since before so-called “explorers” stole their land. I bring you greetings from San Diego and our 37th elected Mayor Todd Gloria, our city’s first mayor of color and mayor from the LGBTQ community. San Diego is also the home of the largest military complex in the Western Hemisphere. We are proud that Harvey was stationed in San Diego in the 1950s. He was a Navy Commander (sic) but was witchhunted out of the Navy after being interrogated and mercilessly harassed and threatened for three days. Would our veterans and active-duty military people with us tonight please raise their hands so we can acknowledge your service to our country? You know, I met Harvey Milk in the early 1970s in a Polk Street bar named Kimos. Empress 1 Jose introduced me to him and informed me that he was running for Supervisor, just like Jose did in 1961. Well, standing in front of me was this hippie guy with a ponytail and I, then a pre-operative transsexual in a mini skirt and go-go boots, had the nerve to tell him he needed to cut his hair if he was going to win. We became friends, especially after finding out that in 1964 we both were Republicans and voted for Barry Goldwater for president. I worked with Harvey Milk and other activists across the state when we fought off the Briggs Initiative that would have fired all LGBTQ teachers in California. What I loved about Harvey was his sense of humor. Last time I spoke at a San Francisco rally was last April at the “Drag Up! Fight Back” drag/transgender rally and march. A shout out to Junita More and Sister Roma. The night before the rally, I channeled
in Jose and asked her for advice on what I should say. And so, last night, I channeled my old girlfriend Harvey and you know what he told me??? “You in danger, girl!” And he is right. I come from the 1950s and ’60s and we are now facing the return of the Joe McCarthy, Anita Bryant, and Jerry Falwell days. We are all indeed in danger. As I said to you all last April, our message to America is … read my silicone/Botox lips: “We are never ever going back into those damn dark closets.” For in 2024, it will be: “Out of the closets and into the voting booths.” Harvey Milk was a visionary of his times and one of the first gay leaders to reach out and support and build bridges to other communities and causes. As a Latino who grew up being called not only a queer and faggot, but a wetback, spick, and greaser, I will never forget Harvey’s support of Cesar Chavez and the Mexican and Filipino farm workers and of the Grape Boycott. This year, the Human Rights Campaign declared a “State of Emergency” for LGBTQ Americans. Well, I say in 2024, we must declare a “State of War” for our LGBTQ community as a cultural war has indeed been declared on us for the upcoming 2024 elections. And, they are out to erase our transgender community … and then all of us. Today, in San Francisco, I, the Queen Mother of the Americas, call upon our LGBTQ+ community to declare 2024 the year of the LGBTQ Renaissance. A rebirth! A revival! A renewal! … of LGBTQA+ activism, organizing, and voting. A year where we will focus on building bridges and support for other communities and causes. In solidarity for a woman’s right to control her own body. In solidarity with the Black community and stopping the suppression of their vote and erasing their history. In solidarity against the rise of hate crimes against the Asian Pacific Islander communities. In solidarity with Labor, unions and working families.
The cover of the San Francisco Examiner 45 years ago. (Harvey Milk Archives)
See NICOLE SPEECH page 14
Let’s celebrate every day Happy December everyone. If there is anyone out there who actually reads my column, you might remember that I give out gifts every December. So this year, I have something extra special for you; yes you, that one person who actually reads this, and thank you for reading. So here we are again, that time of year where we give thanks, remember those we lost to AIDS on December 1, National World AIDS Day, and Chanukah from Dec. 7-15. Of course we can’t forget Christmas. But did you know there are over 100 different observances that last a month, remembrance days, celebration days, and well just days to recognize something we missed during the rest of the year? Let’s take a look at a few of these. It’s National BINGO Month, yay, and Gift of Sight Month, Made in America Month, and National Cat Lovers Month (can’t leave out the cats). It’s also Learn a Foreign Language Month and the ever important National Tie Month. One of my favorites is National Human Rights Month. If you prefer to celebrate weekly, here are some really great ones. National Cookie Cutter Week; another one of my favs, Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week, from Dec. 1–7; Computer Science Education Week Dec. 6-12; Las Posadas week, Dec. 16-24. What is a Posada anyways? National Handwashing Awareness week is Dec. 5-11, and of course there is Kwanzaa from Dec. 26 through Jan. 1. Now how about those very special days!!?? Here we go. This is real my friends. This is WOKE December. In no particular order. Antarctica Day; Pie Day; National Eat a Red Apple Day; Mutt Day; Play Outside Day; Green Bean Casserole Day (another of my personal favorites); Cookie Day; and Sock Day. Oh boy, there is Krampusnacht Day and we all know what that one is. Then there is Day of the Ninja, and Bathtub Party Day. There are Days for Joy, soil, slime and microwave ovens. The list goes on and on and on. I tried to pick a favorite, but nobody can just have one, right? So my personal two very favorite December Days are Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day and National Chocolate Covered Anything Day. What more does one need from life? If you want to see all the special days, I found these in Parade Magazine at bit. ly/40WYjr7. Or you can just Google, “Special
• National Buy Underwear That Matches My Gender Identity Day (maybe for the first time) • National Trans Folk Rock Day • National My Binder is Killing Me Day • International I’m Going to Need a Bigger Bra Day • National I’m Gonna Pull My Facial Hair Out With Tweezers Day • International Trans people Rule the World Day • Non-Binary Read a Book Day (any book, just read a book) • Trans Femme Let’s All Go Shopping at Sephora Day Agender, Non-Gender, All Gender Let’s Go Shopping at Sephora Day • International I Hate My Wig Day • International Find a Hot Barber Day • Trans Masc I want to cut my boobies off day (pretty much every day) • All Trans People Let’s Eat Vegan Day (well except for Connor) California Trans Eat Free at In N Out Burger Day • National Help Me Find a Doctor, any Doctor Day • National Pay Trans Folks a Living Wage Day (seriously) • National Let’s All Stare At, Follow, Heckle and Ridicule Cis People Day • International Day of DDDDXXXX Surgery • San Diego See How Many Labels I Can Give Myself Day • International Hottest Trans Surgeon Day • National Trans Bingo Day (cuz we like Bingo, damnit) Now one day for each month: • Jan. 12 National Say Happy Birthday to Connor Day (it’s my column so I get to do this) • Feb. 13 Come Out to Your Pet Day • March 26 How Do I Do My Shot Again? Day • April 8 Let’s All Dress Up for Transgender Day of Empowerment • May 21 I think I’ll Change My Name Again Day • June 10 I Need a New Therapist Day • July 4 I Will Wear My New Bikini (or Trunks) to the Beach and Take Off My Shirt While I’m There Day • Aug. 1 I’m Going Back to the Beach and This Time I Will Take Off My Shirt For Sure Day • Sept. 30 Come Out to My Pet Again Day • Oct. 31 Dress Up as a Trans Person Day • Nov. 20 Actually Go to Trans Day of Remembrance This Year Day • Dec. 1-31 National Give Yourself the Gift of Love and Acceptance Day
There you go and please feel free to add your own special days. Wishing everyone a very very safe and happy December, with hopes and wishes for a New Year without all those haters. –Connor Maddocks (he, him, his) is a Transgender activist, trainer, speaker, and advocate. You can reach him at neon411@gmail.com ▼
LGBTQSD.NEWS
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
LGBTQSD.NEWS
DINING
(l to r) Coffee mavens Gia Giambalvo and Sarah Girdzius (Courtesy Mnemonic Coffee)
New queer-owned coffee shop in Bankers Hill
Elevated paella at Fisher’s (Courtesy Fisher’s)
Paella pleasures
Spain’s favorite party dish just became more accessible at Fisher’s in Little Italy, where paella is served every Saturday and Sunday in discshaped ceramic dishes that easily feed three to four people. The paella is also available to-go on weekdays with a 24-hour notice. In either case, the cost is $86. Served over a bed of Spanish rice, the dish incorporates a number of proteins: two types of fresh shrimp, clams, mussels, mahi mahi, chorizo, chicken, and beef sausage. Fisher’s adds a spin to the recipe with the addition of artichokes, green beans and pimento peppers.
Customers can view the paella in the making – along with other seafood dishes from the regular menu – through large windows that peer into the spacious kitchen. Fisher’s made its San Diego debut earlier this year. It started out as a four-table seafood restaurant in 1989 just outside of Mexico City and has since expanded to 31 locations in Mexico and Spain. Most of the seafood at each location is sourced from regional waters. 555 W. Beech St., 619-915-4823, fishers-sandiego.com
Bunny Chow hops into North Park When was the last time you heard someone suggest going out for South African food? Probably never. Well, now you can take the lead by recommending a splurge at Bunny Chow, which opened Classic bunny chow of South Africa (Courtesy Bunny Chow) a second San Diego location in North Park. There is also grilled chicken (The original kitchen resides at 7128 accented with piquant peri peri sauce, Miramar Road.) a staple in South African cuisine. And The restaurant is co-owned if you’ve never tried bobotie, this is a by South African natives Andrew good place to start. The pie-like dish Georgitsis and Gary Wolfson. They features beef or lamb, plus ginger, bring to the table a host of traditional garlic, curry powder, raisins, apricots recipes from their homeland, many of and more. It’s topped with bechamel which are influenced by settlers from sauce and comes with salad and a all over the world. choice of rice. The name dish, bunny chow, Bunny Chow’s menu leans for instance, traces back to Indian heavily toward char-grilled meats migrants. Here it consists of a partial and also offers a decent selection loaf of hollowed-out bread filled with of cocktails and mocktails popular a fragrant curry sauce draping your throughout different regions of South choice of lamb, chicken, seafood Africa. 2850 El Cajon Blvd., Suite C, or vegetables. 855-276-2540, bunnychow.co
An iconic fast-food fish sandwich done better (Courtesy Hob Nob Hill)
Reinvention continues at Hob Nob Hill Extended weekend hours, plus new kitchen equipment, signage, lighting and menu offerings have descended on San Diego’s historical Hob Nob Hill. The Bankers Hill restaurant, which is nearly 80 years old, recently announced it will stay open until 2 am on Fridays and Saturdays. “We realized that San Diego doesn’t have many nighttime spots,” said marketing manager Edwin Real. “Someone has to provide that for us otherwise we’re going to have this reputation of being a sleepy town that closes early at night.” With the extended hours comes a late-night menu that includes steak and eggs, and Cincinnati chili. Real also pointed out a few “secret employee dishes” listed on a flip-card menu found on every table. Those dishes include “Kelsey’s meatloaf” named after a Hob Nob server, plus a fish sandwich with American cheese on brioche that pays homage to the Filet-o-Fish at McDonald’s. In addition, the full-bar restaurant has created a separate side-door entrance for late-night arrivals, and added gold lighting along the exterior roof line of the building. “We’re doing some flourish now,” Real said. 2271 First Ave., 619-239-8176, hobnobhill.com
Married couple Gia Giambalvo and Sarah Girdzius are off to a robust start since recently opening Mnemonic Coffee. The 550-square-foot coffeehouse is located on the ground floor of 41 West condominium building in Bankers Hill. The shop offers a range of “thoughtfully prepared” dairy-free coffee drinks, as well as non-alcoholic beverages that borrow from the cocktail scene. “We love the cocktail culture and wanted to learn about drink styles, so we pulled from that by offering ‘zero-proof’ drinks made with coffee, tea or our house-made sodas and syrups,” said Giambalvo, adding that she and Girdzius previously worked for Escondido-based James Coffee. If you’re hankering for something with a little pucker, for example, the “Pony Boy” enlivens the palate with grapefruit, saffron syrup and Topo Chico mineral water. There are also seasonal offerings, such as the “Ginger Spice” made with apple cider, ginger syrup, cinnamon and apple foam, as well as the “Mint Condition,” comprising espresso, peppermint syrup and oat milk. The drink is served with an Andes chocolate-mint as a nostalgic sidekick.
Giambalvo pointed out that oat milk is used across the menu in lieu of regular milk. The menu covers all of the coffee classics too, such as espressos, pourovers, cortados and cold brews. And tea drinkers are in luck with varieties such as blue jasmine, ruby oolong, white peony, and a couple of ceremonial teas that are steeped multiple times. So why the name “mnemonic,” which describes a technique or system used to assist memory? “We chose the name because coffee can be a mnemonic device,” Giambalvo noted. “Coffee is like a metric for time — and memories are formed around sensory things like coffee.” The couple aimed for a 70s-style motif when designing the shop. They chose bright colors and wood paneling to create a welcoming vibe. “We wanted a place that feels cozy and lived-in, not sterile,” Giambalvo said, while adding that the shop also carries donuts from Donut Star in Mission Hills. Mnemonic Coffee is open from 7 am to 2 pm, Tuesday through Friday, and from 8 am to 3 pm, Saturdays and Sundays. 2604 Fifth Ave., mnemonic.coffee
OpenTable recommends dining here. (Facebook)
Hot and in demand San Diego restaurants are finding themselves more and more in notable rankings by national media and popular online portals. OpenTable is the latest to show us some love. Using new metrics and consumer reviews, the site named two restaurants in San Diego County as being in the top 100 within the U.S. Jeune et Jolie in Carlsbad earned a 4.9 rating out of OpenTable’s 5-star system. The charming, intimate restaurant was applauded for “re-imagining French cuisine” in its four-course menu priced at $115 per guest. Popular dishes include veal tartare, duck with preserved plums, and inventive
seasonal desserts. 2659 State St., 760-637-5266, jeune-jolie.com Ranking the same is Young Blood in the East Village. The cocktail-centric speakeasy by CH Projects is famous for its sexy, hidden atmosphere in which patrons enter through a refrigerator door. It offers a three-course special meal for $67, which was called out by OpenTable as “an experience akin to none.” When we inquired what dishes make up that meal, we were told to just come in and take the gamble as the kitchen decides on a whim. 777 G St., 619-446-0002, consortiumholdings.com
Let them eat steak
The new Galpao Gaucho that recently opened downtown in The Headquarters at Seaport District offers nearly 20 different proteins, served traditionally by handsome skewer-wielding “gauchos.” Think top sirloin, bottom sirloin, ribeye, filet mignon, lamb chops, grilled salmon and more, as you settle into the massive space previously occupied by Seasons 52. A commodious salad bar flaunting more than 40 items, which are included in the all-you-can-eat feast, runs $48 for weekday lunch and $72 for weekends and dinner. This is the chain’s seventh location, and the first for San Diego. The others are located in Northern California, Las Vegas and South Carolina. 789 W. Harbor Drive, 619-373-9969, galpaogaucho.com. –Frank Sabatini Jr. has been writing about food in San Diego for over 35 years. He launched his own food blog during the pandemic, called, “The Hash Star,” which you can follow at thehashstar.com. He can be reached at frank.sabatini92108@gmail.com
A new Brazilian steakhouse has sizzled into downtown San Diego. (Courtesy Galpao Gaucho)
COM VOICE | PUZZLE
LGBTQSD.NEWS
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
Q-PUZZLE
FROM PAGE 1
TREVOR
That’s just some of the history of fashion designers from that time. AIDS is not as scary today as it was back then. As the years went on, my interest in fashion, clothing, models and such fell by the wayside, as I pursued other career interests. Not since the ’90s have I been interested in new design or talent until I started buying Trevor’s clothing and discovered he was only 19 years old. I recently purchased a jacket for the fall at Trevor’s Insufficient Fun store. Nearly everywhere I traveled that day people asked me where they could get that jacket. I encountered seven people in one afternoon asking about the jacket, and where they could get one like it. I was only too happy to pass on the information. With my aforementioned history, coupled with my age, I feel it is my duty and responsibility, to bring this exciting young man’s designs to the attention of the LGBTQ community here in San Diego. I think it’s important for several reasons. I sat down with Trevor for one of my famous interviews, of which I have not produced or published in nine years. All that said, here is my interview: Anthony Gioffre (Anthony): Okay Trevor, how did all this designing start? Trevor Erwin (Trevor): Well, it just came out of left field. I was a boxer before and have traveled the country with the sport. I was very much into boxing, However due to an accident, I had to have reconstructive surgery twice. The surgeries were successful, but it pretty much ended what I hoped to have been my boxing career. As you can imagine, I fell into a slight depression, because I didn’t
from qsyndicate.com
(l to r) Debbra and Darrell Erwin are the owners of Darrell’s Modern Trends. (All photos courtesy Erwin family)
have any direction. And that bothered me. I thought to myself that my parents own a clothing store. I could make clothing and sell it at the store. So, it was out of desperation for direction and just seemed like the most logical one for the time. This was to be my purpose, which was now lacking. (Anthony): Where do you get your inspiration? (Trevor): Honestly, my inspiration comes from my desire to find myself … period. I know that sounds strange, but I am actually inspired by my lack of direction. The clothing I make each round helps me find direction. As time goes on, I feel that I am less lost than I was before. However, I’m not where I want to be. I know that I can do much better with the right tools. I’m not a rich kid whose parents give them everything on a silver platter. I have to work for what I have, and I will have to work hard to reach the next level. So it’s me finding myself as I go to the next level of design. It’s a matter of emotional satisfaction for me. So it kind of works backwards for me. I get my inspiration by my own desire to discover myself. The rest is my artistic vision. (Anthony): What do you think has been your greatest accomplishment thus far on
The front sign shows all three Erwin businesses that are thriving under one roof.
Darrell’s Modern Trends brightens up Hillcrest
By Morgan M. Hurley If you’ve driven down University lately, you’ve noticed that something on the otherwise stale four corners of University and Vermont avenues has pushed some of the mattresses aside and made room for what appears to be a fun and bustling new thrift shop: Darrell’s Modern Trends. Outside, there is a mannequin always poised to greet you. Inside, owner Darrell Erwin has a massive stock of furniture and clothing and sublets to two other businesses, one owned by his son Trevor – Insufficient Fun (see story on this page) – and the other to his wife of 35 years,
13
Debbra; her store is called ¢ Street Wear. The Erwin family moved their original store to Hillcrest one year ago this past October, from its previous location in Point Loma. He said business has grown steadily, about 20% each month since their arrival. Erwin said he buys Costco overstock and other vintage and refurbished furniture items and they get about 10 or 12 couches every month. He also has about 5,000 pieces of clothing inside the store. Much of that is vintage, he said, but they have lots of new clothing and they specialize in vintage concert gear – shirts, jackets, etc. – which he buys at auction. If the merchandise doesn’t sell at a concert, it gets auctioned off and
your journey? (Trevor): Probably selling about a thousand items since I began. (Anthony): Has anything been disappointing for you? (Trevor): I like my clothing. I think it’s good but I know I can do better. It takes more tools than what I have available to me today. I have a design studio that is growing in capacity. It will just take time. More resources than I have available to me right now. (Anthony): So what can we expect from you in the future? (Trevor): Well currently, I am in the running for a threemonth internship in Milan, Italy. If that comes through, you can expect maturity and growth in my designs. That’s what I’m hoping for. My impression overall of this young man was that he is extremely well spoken. His talent at his age can only grow and grow. I am impressed with this young man’s desire to find and discover himself. Reinventing himself at age 19? Through his own designs? I think that’s brilliant. He is clearly wise beyond his years. He is located on the corner of University Avenue and Vermont. What I hope for him is that one day “Insufficient Fun” will become sufficient. Just not too soon. Erwin said he buys a lot of items this way. “Customers can browse, we have fitting rooms and really great customer service,” he said. “That’s what people really like.” They even offer free delivery anywhere in San Diego for the furniture items. The conversation shifted to his youngest son Trevor, profiled above. “He’s always wanted to have his own clothing line, so we just supported him,” Erwin said. “We are really proud of him. He spends probably 10 hours a day making clothes, designing clothes, 7 days a week. He’s really ambitious.” Erwin said they gave Trevor about 250 square feet of space in the store, which is raised up and closed in, just dedicated to letting him do his thing. Darrell’s Modern Trends will be participating in Taste ‘N’ Tinis and SHOP Hillcrest promotions and are looking forward to meeting new potential customers. Erwin said they have a big Instagram following and offer 15% off for their followers who come in. Check them out at @DarrellsModernTrends. To learn more about what Darrell’s Modern Trends has to offer and the services they also provide, visit darrellsmoderntrendsca.com. ▼
Everything Jamie Lee ACROSS
DOWN
1 Comes out on the beach
1 Wing for Julia Morgan
5 Biters of Caesar’s girlfriend
2 Conflict with boxers
9 Mosque heads
3 “Perry Mason” star Raymond
14 Ill-mannered oaf
4 Show boat, for example
15 Boob, to a Brit
5 Top floors
16 Assaults with a spray
6 Trough diners
17 Seduce
7 Misfire sound
18 It penetrates the meat
8 From A to B, to Debussy
19 “Come, come!”
9 Stalemate
20 1983 Jamie Lee Curtis flick
10 Animals at a football game
23 Disney’s Mickey and
11 BenGay target
Minnie, e.g.
12 Angry in., for example
24 Anka’s “___ Beso”
13 Direction away from NNE
25 Comes to
21 Drop shot, to Mauresmo
28 Rubber attachments
22 Hit the road
33 Netflix series with a gay FBI
25 “What’s it ___ to you?”
agent
26 Blue, to interior decorators
34 2019 Jamie Lee Curtis flick
27 Afghanistan’s capital
35 Obstacle, to Shakespeare
28 Mireille, whose name rhymes
36 U.S. investment
with “penis”
37 Anal insertion procedure
29 Eng. class about Wilde
(abbr.)
30 Chemical salt
38 1994 Jamie Lee Curtis flick
31 Time to come home
41 Ursula Le Guin writes it
32 Gertrude with a beer mug?
43 Native of Socrates’ land
34 Trick joint, maybe
44 What acceptance of gay rights
36 Some old pics
should do
39 She loved Franklin and Lorena
46 Enjoy Nick Malgieri
40 Dike problem
47 Glad tidings
41 Teetotaler’s choice, perhaps
48 2003 Jamie Lee Curtis flick
42 They’re surrounded by
52 Let out
skyscrapers
53 Fruit cover
44 Big water heater
54 Place for a rocker
45 Poet McKuen
58 The Pointer Sisters’ “___
47 Screen siren Garbo
Excited”
48 Turn the meat at Hamburger
59 Suffix with leather
Mary’s
60 When actors should come
49 “Julius Caesar” setting
61 Be a voyeur, e.g.
50 Smooth sailing
62 Lightly burn
51 Lavish party
63 Reading at Metropolitan
55 Sometime label of David
Community Church
Bowie 56 ___-de-sac 57 Line of Todd Oldham dresses? SOLUTION on page 15
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
COM VOICES | NEWS
LGBTQSD.NEWS
FROM PAGE 10
NICOLE SPEECH In solidarity with all immigrants, undocumented and my Latino community. For listen up California, because the Gold State is turning brown. In solidarity for gun control and changing our criminal justice system. In solidarity against the rise of hate against the Jewish community and yes, against the Muslim community. These causes must be all of our causes. This is an LGBTQA+ renaissance I know Harvey Milk would want us to have. And most importantly, to make our LGBTQA+ youth and students a priority as they are coming out in record numbers like never before. Let us stop saying that our youth are our future. Our youth are our here and now. And we need to support them now more than ever. In closing, I want to acknowledge the legacy of Mayor George Moscone and thank his family for continuing his legacy by his children’s continuing involvement in equality for all. I want to also take this time to thank you San Francisco for giving us the first LGBTQ band in America, the first gay men’s chorus, the first Imperial Court chapter in North America, the first LGBTQ business association, the first Gay Games, the first Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and the Names Quilt. And I ask you all to support our national Bayard Rustin U.S. stamp campaign just like you supported our successful Harvey Milk stamp campaign. And do check out the movie “Rustin” now showing on Netflix. And I want to personally thank you San Francisco for not only giving us Harvey Milk and George Moscone but also Mark Leno, Milton Marks, Jim Hormel, Bevan Dufty, Sylvester, Honey Mahogany, Bob Ross, Ann Koeberg, Del Martin and Phyliss Lyon, Carole Migden, Roberta Achtenberg, Cleve Jones and future Congressman Scott Weiner. And I urge you all to support LGBTQA+ candidates across the state and am urging the President of the State Senate Toni Atkins to become a candidate as our next governor. And now I have the honor of reading a message from Harvey’s nephew, who indeed has become
a global advocate giving hope to countless LGBTQQ+ people around the world, Stuart Milk: “There are moments in the world where our collective destiny has been decided. 45 years ago today, I lost Uncle Harvey to a brutal assassination that he knew was likely to occur; and Harvey’s election, his 11 months in office, defeat of the discriminatory Prop 6, and his historic call for us all to join him in being authentic, out, and proud, was such a moment. That brutal assassination of both Harvey and George on Nov. 27, 1978, became one of those moments that would symbolize the character and future of human progress and social justice. A moment of history when a torch is passed like Seneca Falls, like Selma, like Stonewall — and Harvey’s prophetic message, ‘let the bullets that enter my brain destroy all closet doors’ sent an example across the world, that we will no longer remain invisible.” Thank you, Stuart, for continuing the legacy of your beloved uncle. I leave you all with these words: “A community, indeed a movement, that does not know where it came from and whose shoulders it stands on … does not really know where it’s going.” Thank you Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club for reminding us tonight whose shoulders we stand on. God bless you all. –Nicole Murray Ramirez is a lifelong Latino and LGBT activist and advocate, a longtime city commissioner, and is the Queen Mother of the International Imperial Court of the Americas. He can be reached at nicolemrsd1@gmail.com ▼
AUTHENTIC AUTHENTICMEXICAN MEXICANCUISINE CUISINE || NOW NOWOPEN OPEN
GUESTS MUST BE 21+ TO ENTER THE CASINO. PLEASE PLAY RESPONSIBLY.
LGBTQSD.NEWS FROM PAGE 3
BRIEFS
to one of Lovegood’s childhood idols, Amy Grant. Since moving to North Carolina, Flamy has been on the road practically non-stop touring and will continue to do so into 2024. Two weeks ago, Lovegood launched a Kickstarter campaign, setting a $30,000 goal to fund their next record, which will be recorded in Nashville. The goal was met in 48 hours, shocking even Lovegood. Since then, Lovegood has added “stretch goals,” which allow them to offer things like trucker hats and prayer candles for purchase along with new pledges. To date, the Kickstarter is at $47,281 with 16 days to go on the 30-day campaign. The new album is described on the Kickstarter website as “A disco/gospel/folk/funk record so draggy it will usher in the second coming. Let’s give the end times the soundtrack they deserve.” If you’d like to learn more about the campaign and donate to Flamy’s “Big Gay Christian Record” efforts, visit bit. ly/3uDzKUe GREAT TURNOUT FOR TOWN HALL HELD TO DISCUSS ‘PLAN HILLCREST’ AND LGBTQ+ CULTURAL DISTRICT Approximately 80 community members gathered on the dance floor at Rich’s San Diego on a rainy Wednesday evening in mid-November for a town hall meeting to discuss the proposed Hillcrest LGBTQ+ Cultural District. Presented by Vibrant Uptown, and co-sponsored by the Hillcrest Business Association, the Hillcrest Town Council, Kiwanis Club of Hillcrest All-Inclusive, and @ HillcrestSanDiego, the event gave participants the opportunity to share their input on the big changes coming to the neighborhood. With the City of San Diego’s Hillcrest Community Plan Amendment (“Plan Hillcrest”) currently in the draft process, some community members are working to develop a proposal to create the Hillcrest LGBTQ+ Cultural District, which will attempt to preserve the vibrant community that LGBTQ people have built in the neighborhood over the last 40+ years. The proposed Cultural District has been in the works for several years by community members and the proposal includes provisions for housing at all income levels, creation of the LGBTQ+ Cultural District, protection of the neighborhood’s safe spaces, and proposes a new renovation of the DMV property. After opening remarks by representatives of Vibrant Uptown, Councilmember Stephen Whitburn, and Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest Nicole Murray Ramirez, community members were able to choose from a variety of breakout discussion groups to engage on topics such as celebrating LGBTQ history, mapping the future, and community growth. Moderators of the breakout groups reported back after the discussions, with a variety of opinions and ideas expressed by participants.
NEWS Murray Ramirez also announced at the event that thanks to the Hillcrest Business Association and San Diego GLBT Historic Task Force, new street light banners will soon be installed in Hillcrest honoring local LGBTQ heroes and icons. Currently, the banners honor nationwide celebrity LGBTQ icons. A mockup of the banners was shown featuring longtime Hillcrest businessman and philanthropist Chris Shaw, creator of the “MO’s Universe” group of bars and restaurants, which are now all independently owned. Those who wish to learn more about future development plans for Hillcrest should visit planhillcrest.org. Also check back to LGBTQ San Diego County News in a future edition for a more detailed look at the proposed changes to Hillcrest. NEW LEADERSHIP AT PRIDE ANNOUNCED Following the sudden departure of Fernando Z. Lopez from their role as executive director of San Diego Pride before Thanksgiving, the organization’s board of directors announced Thursday afternoon, Nov. 30, that Sarafina Scapicchio and Jen LaBarbera would assume the roles of interim co-executive directors, effective immediately. Scapicchio most recently served as Pride’s deputy executive director and LaBarbera as director of education and advocacy. The pair will split up the leadership role under a “co-leadership model,” which board members say was proposed by the current staff leadership team. During this interim period, Pride’s philanthropy, operations and finance, and entertainment departments will fall under Scapicchio’s leadership, and LaBarbera will oversee areas related to education and advocacy, programs, and marketing. “This collaborative approach ensures a seamless transition, reflecting San Diego Pride’s commitment to continuity and elevating the talents within the organization,” said board of directors co-chair Noah Lomax in an email to community supporters. “[It] also underscores the organization’s dedication to fostering an inclusive and empowered leadership structure.” It is unclear when the organization will open its formal executive director search and what leadership model will be employed in the new role. For more information, visit sdpride.org. LOCAL COUPLES THERAPIST TO HOLD SPECIAL BOOK SIGNING FOR COMMUNITY Jennine Estes Powell, LMFT, who established Estes Therapy here in San Diego decades ago, has written a book with co-author and fellow therapist Jacqueline Wielick, MFT and said she is looking forward to celebrating its release with the LGBTQ community. The book, “Help for High Conflict Couples,” is based on her many years of couples counseling and the “tough” interactions that some therapists shy away from. The book’s cover says it uses “emotionally focused therapy and the science of attachment to build lasting connections.”
Despite her successful group therapy practice, teaching other therapists how to work with couples, dozens of therapy-based blog posts (Relationships in the Raw) long before blogs were a thing, and creating the popular #BeingLOVEDIs movement campaign, Estes Powell simply wanted to do more for couples after all she’d seen and experienced. Hence, this new book, which digs deep and provides a roadmap for couples in trouble. “I wanted to reach more people and make a bigger impact,” she said. “And then, out of the blue, a book publisher got wind of what I was up to and reached out to chat about writing a book. “I didn’t want to write your run-of-the-mill, boring communication book,” she continued. “I wanted to dive into the real nitty-gritty, the tough stuff that highly-escalated couples struggle with and therapists are afraid of.” Estes Powell admits she has a
Jennine Estes Powell, LMFT
learning disability but has never let it hold her back. She was once told by a professor that she’d never make it to grad school. Instead, she’s thrived ever since. “Because writing is difficult for me due to my learning disability, I knew I couldn’t tackle this alone, so I asked Jacqueline Wielick, MFT, to join me in the project,” Estes Powell said. “We crafted this book to address the common issues that trip up high-conflict couples. It’s not just a talk-it-out kind of deal; it’s a step-by-step guide, a playbook if you will. We’re laying out the roadmap to heal those wounds from the past and improve communication.” San Diegans may remember Estes Powell’s #BeingLOVEDIs campaign – which connected people through photos of them with a hand-held chalkboard where they share their idea of what it means to be loved – and many within the local LGBTQ community took part in the project. To watch a video of the #BeingLOVEDIs campaign, visit bit.ly/46DmPic To celebrate the release of “Help for High Conflict Couples,” Estes Powell has scheduled a reading and signing event, which will take place Friday, Jan. 12, at 5:30 pm at The Sinclair on G Street, 643 G St., San Diego. Expect a fun evening with a book reading, comedy, live music, and even a circus! Estes Powell and her wife are both trapeze artists who have performed at various venues around the
DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
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Melissa Etheridge coming to town (Courtesy photo)
county, including at the San Diego Pride Festival. If you are interested in attending the book reading, you can RSVP by calling 619-5580001. To learn more about all the offerings of Estes Therapy, visit estestherapy.com FILMOUT PRESENTS 50TH ANNIVERSARY OF JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR FILM Based on Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s masterpiece Broadway rock opera, the film adaptation of Jesus Christ Superstar has reached a milestone and FilmOUT is bringing it to San Diego. The film will screen on Wednesday, Dec. 13, at 7:00 pm. at Landmark Hillcrest Cinemas, located at 3965 Fifth Ave. Through the same brilliant lyrics and music of the smash hit play, the film recounts the last days of Jesus Christ (played by Ted Neeley). The perspective is that of Judas Iscariot, his betrayer (played by Carl Anderson, who also played Judas in the Broadway version). As Jesus’ following increases, Judas begins to worry that Jesus is falling for his own hype, forgetting the principles of his teachings and growing too close to the prostitute Mary Magdalene (Yvonne Elliman). After Jesus has an outburst in a temple, Judas turns on him. Neeley and Elliman were understudies in the Broadway and touring versions before being cast as leads in the 1973 film, which runs 1 hour
online and $15 at the door. To learn more or purchase tickets, visit bit.ly/47VoFfr MELISSA ETHERIDGE TO PERFORM AT BELLY UP Grammy- and Oscar-awardwinning lesbian rocker Melissa Etheridge is bringing her latest tour “I’m Not Broken” to the Belly Up on Monday, April 1, at 8 pm, with an additional date just added, April 2, at 8 pm This intimate venue will be a great experience for true Melissa fans, with prices ranging from $95 for advance general admission (standing); $167 reserved loft seating (available over the phone 858-481-8140 or in person at the box office); $175 for her tour package (GA ticket and VIP gift pack); and $275, which includes a photo package (photo packages are sold out for April 1). Melissa’s latest album, “One Way Out,” was recorded in 2021 and is full of songs she wrote in the 1980s and ’90s that were never published or made available until now. This is a 21+ event and attendees must show ID for entry. Most of the venue is standing room only – so if you have special needs or want to sit for the show, take note of the loft seating above. The Belly Up offers a full bar and food. For more information about the show and tickets, visit bit. ly/47AxZ8G. The Belly Up is located at 143 S. Cedros Ave., in Solana Beach. ▼
Q-Puzzle solution from page 13
and 46 minutes. Tickets are $12
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DECEMBER 2023 VOLUME 4 ISSUE 29
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Festival of Trees at insideOUT
November 19, 2023 Photos by Big Mike Phillips