Gay San Diego: Vol. 11, Issue 1 by Lgbtqsdnews

Volume 10 Issue 1 Jan. 4-17, 2019

Check out community events Page 14

California law prohibits biological mother to be added to baby’s birth certificate

INTERVIEW

Albert H. Fulcher | Editor

What did celebs have to say in 2018?

COMMUNITY VOICES

20 years of birthday tradition

LEISURE

d e i n e d p i h s t n e r Pa (l to r) Andrea Roehl, Camden Wilde LaBrecque and Chrissy LaBrecque spend their first Christmas together. LaBrecque, Camden’s biological mother, was not allowed to place her name on his birth certificate because the same-sex couple were not married or registered as domestic partners. (Courtesy of Andrea Roehl)

Chrissy LaBrecque and her longtime partner Andrea Roehl just spent their first Christmas with their new 5-month-old baby, Camden, in North Park. Like many new parents, they quickly found out that he was mostly interested in the packaging of the presents under the tree rather than the toys, but they enjoyed the holiday spending time together with Camden and their family for the holiday. However, the past five months have not been easy for the couple as they have had to traverse through California law to get LaBrecque, Camden’s biological mother, on Camden’s birth certificate.

see Parentship, pg 2

Whale watching on Yacht America

DINING

Looking through the lens of 2018 A year in photos and Gay San Diego's top read stories Albert H. Fulcher | Editor

A ‘leap of faith’ pays off

Index Opinion ................................... 6 Classifieds............................ 13 Business & Services ............ 13 Puzzle ................................... 14

Each new year brings reflection as we go through the photos we took and the memories we made. This year, we took dozens of snapshots of our readers from LGBTQ+ events Gay San Diego Let’s go through our photo collection to share some of the pictures that were unable to be published. . From parties to rallies, title holders and events, through the eye of a camera lens we've captured moments in time that are now part of San Diego's LGBT history. Let’s take a look. Jess Winans’ story on the first Out to End Gun Violence event highlighted the need for to raise gun violence awareness and open a dialogue on gun-control. Spearheaded by Alicia Champion and Danielle LoPresti, this event brought in celebrities and advocates from California and beyond, benefiting the Brady Campaign. bit.ly/2LDLwDi

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By Neal Putnam A driver who rammed through barricades at the 2018 Pride Festival in Balboa Park and injured a pregnant woman has been sentenced to two years in state prison. Matthew John Haney, 40, pleaded guilty to assault with a motor vehicle in the July 14 incident when he plowed through a barricade at 10:30 p.m. in the 2400 block of Sixth Avenue, causing a police traffic controller to literally jump out of the way to avoid being hit. Haney then collided with a vehicle on Fifth Avenue, injuring a pregnant woman who was taken to a hospital by paramedics. San Diego Police officers chased him as he drove a black Honda Odyssey in a 22-mile pursuit into Lemon Grove and La Mesa, where Haney abandoned the vehicle and fled on foot. A warrant was issued for his arrest, but he was not picked up until late August. San Diego Superior Court Judge Fred Maguire dismissed charges of hit and run with injury, evading police, and driving on a suspended license after he pleaded guilty to felony assault of the traffic controller. Haney was ordered to pay $500 in hospital costs for the victim and fined $824. He got credit for four months in jail. Probation was denied, as Haney has a prior record for attempted kidnapping and assault in Oregon.

Guy who killed gay friend gets 14 years in prison

Danielle LoPresti performs at the first Out to End Gun Violence event at the Music Box on July 12. (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

see Best of 2018, pg 12

Brandon Kyle Cooper, 38, was sentenced to 14 years in state prison for killing his gay friend, Spencer Thompson, in which he gave a dying declaration and named Cooper as the man who stabbed him in North Park.

see Courts, pg 5 Always Dependable, Always There for You, Always Prepared

Editorial/Letters 619-961-1960 albert@sdcnn.com

Festival barricade rammer gets two years in prison

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FROM PAGE 1

PARENTSHIP Camden was born through reciprocal in-vitro fertilization (IVF), an arduous and expensive procedure. LaBrecque is the biological mother, and Roehl carried Camden and gave birth to him. It wasn’t until they were released from the hospital that they both found out that current California law does not allow same sex couples on the birth certificate for only one reason: They are not married or registered as domestic partners. So they left the hospital with only Roehl listed on Camden’s birth certificate. They are enjoying their life as new mothers, but it is riddled with a barrage of new legal complications that have been confusing, time consuming, and ultimately another high-cost expense. With LaBrecque not listed on the birth certificate, she has been denied paid family leave and other benefits that are available for working parents under California law. “The hospital knew that we were doing the reciprocal IVF,” LaBrecque said. “I’m 40 years old so the pregnancy had to be treated as a geriatric pregnancy. Andrea is almost 30, so the whole time the doctors knew it was my egg and nobody ever mentioned anything about the birth certificate and who would be able to sign and who wouldn’t.” Roehl said it was interesting

(l to r) Chrissy LaBrecque, Andrea Roehl and their 5-month-old son Camden (Photos courtesy of Andrea Roehl)

because they received a large packet of paperwork before he was born, which included the birth certificate form. They completed the package with both of their information, so as far as they were concerned, everything was prepared in advance. “If they would have let us know that there was a difference for same sex couples that are not married we would have done what we would have had to do,” Roehl said. “But no one told us that it would be different because we were unmarried. So we didn’t look further into that and it wasn’t

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explained to us. Even when we delivered, everyone knew that Chrissy was my partner, so there was no surprise and they didn’t ask us if we were married. They didn’t ask if we were married until we were about to leave the hospital.” Roehl said that many people have said that they should just get married, but that is not the issue. “This issue is that we shouldn’t have to get married because a heterosexual couple doesn’t have to get married to be on the birth certificate, even if it is not biologically the father’s son or child,” Roehl said. “That is what is frustrating to me. So I don’t want to tell other gay couples that they should be married first because that is your choice if you don’t want to be married.” Roehl said they decided they wanted to have a baby before they got married, and it is not because they couldn’t afford a marriage license or that they wanted to wait for a big, expensive wedding. “The priority for us is that we wanted to plan on having our child first and we’ll get married when we are ready,” Roehl continued. “We have every intention of staying together, but it is just because you are a same sex couple that you have to [be married], but if you are a heterosexual couple you don’t have to. You should do what you feel is right for your family. The fact [is] that he is

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gay-sd.com biologically Chrissy’s. She’s the mother through DNA and I am the mother through birth and we are absolutely both his mother. That’s why it’s harder, too. We are not just a couple where I birthed him with my DNA and she is just my partner, she is actually related to this child. The fact that they wouldn't let her be on the birth certificate is just crazy to us because he is of her own DNA.” LaBrecque said it was nearly impossible to find direction from anyone when they started going to the courts when Camden was only a few days old. “It seemed like nobody knew or had been put in this situation before to have any solid answer for us,” LaBrecque said. “People were even sending us to go for me to adopt him, but when we went down to the adoption agency, they said it couldn’t be a second parent adoption, again, because we were unmarried, and we are not in a domestic partnership and that I would have to go through an independent adoption. They said that could take up to two years and then cost thousands of dollars.” LaBrecque said she has no intention of adopting her own son. They only want to both be allowed on the birth certificate. She said this is something they are both in agreement on but that it is unfair that they have to go through another expensive process through the court to make this happen. “Petitioning the courts seems like our only option at this point unless we get married to file the paperwork for parentage,” LaBrecque said. “We have to show up [before a judge], there are the filing fees that are $500 or so, and other expenses.” LaBrecque works for NBC 7, who interviewed Family Law Attorney Leigh Kretzschmar, who practices out of Bankers Hill. Kretzschmar told NBC 7 that this is one area of law “that has not evolved as quickly as others [laws] with respect to unmarried unregistered same-gender couples” that has not evolved as quickly as others. Although Kaiser Permanente, where Camden was born, followed current law, Kretzschmar said it is the law that is the problem. She added that this is unfair because heterosexual parents can establish paternity in the hospital after the baby is born, but unmarried, same-sex couples do not

have that option. “Same gender couples are forced to get a court order,” Kretzschmar told NBC 7. “They’re forced to go through an expensive process. It can easily be a $3,000 to $5,000 extra step that they have to undergo, whereas opposite gender couples don’t have to do that.” LaBrecque and Roehl both believe this current law is discriminatory. Governor Jerry Brown signed state law AB2684 Parent and child relationship on Sept. 28, 2018 (bit. ly/2F42U3V), which will allow unmarried gay and lesbian couples to be listed on their child’s birth certificate without going to court. However, this new law goes into effect in 2020 so it is not helping this couple in their problematic journey. LaBrecque said their experience with the court has been nothing short of confusing and arduous, but going before a judge to have paternity declared is what is necessary for them at this point. She was told that this process could take four months or more before they could stand before a judge to hear their case. Roehl said that the entire scenario has been nothing but frustrating. “When we talked to anyone in the offices nobody gave us a straight forward answer that it was a California law, and nobody knew that,” Roehl said. “They kept saying the hospital should have had you sign this form, so we kept thinking the hospital didn’t give us the right form. Nobody ever told us it was California law. We weren’t even sure if it was a Kaiser thing, a hospital policy or if it was California law. Nobody could explain to us why she couldn't be on the birth certificate. They never said it was because we were unmarried. So it left us in the dark, not sure where to go or who to talk to about how to rectify this in the easiest way.” —Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com. [Editor’s note: Mari Payton from NBC 7 published “San Diego Couple Fight to Both Be Named on Their Baby’s Birth Certificate” on Dec. 19, 2018. Excerpts of this article are derived from Payton’s interview with Family Law Attorney Leigh Kretzschmar. Read the entire story here: bit.ly/2TlvznS]t

ADVERTORIAL / INTERVIEW

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By Trinity Medical ADVERTORIAL What is the P-Shot? The P-Shot (Priapus Shot) is a simple non-surgical procedure using your own blood plasma that results in stronger, harder and longer lasting erections. The P-Shot works by increasing vascularization and blood flow in the penis. Another way to administer the P-Shot is to add stem cells. Adding stem cells to the P-Shot will increase penis size by 10-20 percent per treatment and can be used to treat Peyronie’s Disease. Is the P-Shot safe? Yes. The regular P-Shot normally consists of platelet rich plasma (PRP) derived from the patient’s own blood. The effects can be immediate, but generally take about two or three weeks. The benefits of the P-Shot are stronger, harder and longer lasting erections. Does the P-Shot hurt? No. Topical anesthetic is applied to the penis prior to application of the P-Shot. For certain patients that request or require it, we are happy to administer a mild sedation or even very strong sedation that last for a few minutes to get the patient through the procedure. Will the P-Shot work better with stem cells? Yes. Men seeking to increase the size 10-20 percent, or men with various medical conditions that preclude the use of their own PRP will greatly benefit by adding certified stem cells to their P-Shot. The certified stem cells and the patient’s own Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) can be mixed together for treatment. The P-Shot with stem cells has all of the benefits of the regular P-Shot, plus the added benefit of increasing penis size. The stem cells also are used to treat Peyronie’s Disease (curved or crooked penis) by removing scar tissue causing the condition. If a larger and straighter penis is important to you, the P-Shot with stem cells is the way to go! The effects are cumulative, meaning you will get increased size every time you do it. Can the P-Shot treat erectile dysfunction? Yes, the P-Shot is a safe and

effective non-pharmaceutical treatment for erectile dysfunction with none of the negative side effects of ED medication. This can require up to three separate treatments to achieve the maximum results. Can I party like a porn star with the P-Shot? Yes, absolutely. In fact, we have several clients in the adult movie industry that come to us for the P-Shot. Every adult male seeking treatment for ED or simply wishing to increase sexual performance will benefit from our P-Shot. Can the P-Shot make my penis larger? Yes. Definitely the P-Shot with stem cells is what you need. One P-Shot with stem cells will increase penis size from 10-20 percent. The effects are cumulative, meaning you will gain increased length and girth every time you get our P-Shot with stem cells. It is also important that we help you monitor your metabolism to make sure that your body is able to accommodate the increased size and blood flow. Can the P-Shot be supercharged? Yes. The use of HyperBaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) will make the P-Shot work better. It is best to get the HBOT immediately following the P-Shot. There are multiple benefits of being in pure oxygen under pressure for one hour. The HBOT will increase the oxygen concentration is the patient’s body fluids up to 1,400 percent. The increased oxygen concentration will increase the patient’s metabolism temporarily and allow the PRP and/ or stem cells to work more effectively. Can anyone get the P-Shot? Yes. Every adult male seeking to increase their sexual performance can get our P-Shot. Can the P-Shot be combined with hormone therapy? Yes. We offer hormone replacement therapy for both men and women, including the use of bioidentical hormones. We treat Low-T [testosterone], Human Growth Hormone, Human Chorionic Gonadotropin and others in a complete hormone replacement protocol.

see The P-Shot, pg 5

GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

A Year in Review: What the celebs said

By Chris Azzopardi Cher once jumped out of a bathroom window with her gay friend to escape the police. And if you also didn’t know that you mean as much to her as she means to you, well, now you do. The gay icon of all gay icons expressed just that (see her heartfelt quote below) when she called me in September while promoting her 26th (!!) album, “Dancing Queen.” Other highlights from this year’s interviews with LGBTQ-identifying and -adjacent Hollywood notables: Anna Kendrick opened up about being sexually fluid, “Will & Grace” stars Eric McCormack and Sean Hayes chatted about the show’s revival, and powerhouse actress Viola Davis reflected on her queer evolution. “There’s been sometimes where I was just, you know, heartbroken about things, but it always gives you hope when there are people who think that you’re cute and worthwhile and an artist.” – Cher on her LGBTQ fans “It’s like your queer uncle that was marching back in ’78: Maybe he doesn’t have the loud voice, maybe he can’t march as fast now, but

see Celebrities, pg 4

Adam Rippon (Courtesy of Mitchell Haaseth/NBC)

INTERVIEW

GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

FROM PAGE 3

CELEBRITIES he is still just as important.” – Eric McCormack on the “Will & Grace” revival “Do I care anymore about mass appeal? Do I care about universality if it’s not moving people?” – lesbian musician Brandi Carlile, the most nominated female at this year’s Grammys “I think I haven’t had that emotional love for a lady, which isn’t saying it could

Viola Davis (Courtesy of KathClick)

never happen to me, but I think I’m more of an Emily than a Stephanie.” – Anna Kendrick, who played opposite Blake Lively’s sexually fluid Emily in “A Simple Favor” “Even as a 13-year-old, I saw my friends be conflicted with their sexuality and religion and I was thinking, ‘OK, something’s wrong here.’” – Dan Reynolds, Imagine Dragons frontman “I just wanted to be a beacon for moms who are confused…” – Jennifer Garner on playing the mother of a gay son in “Love, Simon” “If the people are listening to you, you should say something worth hearing.” – Jussie Smollett “At the time, there was that kind of question when you’d go into the audition: ‘Are you comfortable kissing a guy?’ ‘Yeah, of course.’” – Justin Theroux on playing gay in the late ’90s “That was a first for me. I can’t say that I’ve walked in on any gay orgies in the past.” – Margot Robbie on the gay orgy in “The Wolf of Wall Street” “Who knows how and why and who you pick as your friends, but it’s usually me and all my lovely, dear gay friends that I’ve had forever.” – Melissa McCarthy “However you define yourself or don’t define yourself, you should be able to do that with total freedom.” – Antoni Porowski, “Queer Eye” star “I was always me, but I didn’t always own it. And when I owned it, that’s when I found that I was my strongest.”

– Adam Rippon “If you’re queer, your subjectivity is not in the margins – it’s front and center for the life you’re leading. But mainstream stories have pushed queer stories into the margins of storytelling…” – Rachel Weisz, star of two lesbian-led films this year, “Disobendience” and “The Favourite” “There are people on all spectrums of human behavior in the gay community, just like there are people on all spectrums of human behavior in the straight community, so I nix that and I say ‘bye’ to that – I say, ‘bye, Felicia!’ – because that doesn’t make any sense to me.” – Sean Hayes on dismissing those who say Jack is too flamboyant “So, the thought of going to a program like the one in the film at that crucial, vulnerable moment and being told, ‘No, this is 100 percent back on you, and you’re filling a God-shaped hole in your life with these tendencies’ was one of the most harmful and hurtful things that I can imagine.” – Troye Sivan on his role in “Boy Erased” “I have to say I loved him, so I felt it was on me to shift my thinking and it was up to me to understand him.” – Viola Davis on getting acquainted with the LGBTQ community through her friend Slim —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter, @chrisazzopardi.t

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Due to the proximity of the holiday, Guys, Games, & Grub will be held this month on the second Wednesday of the month. Everyone is welcome to join in the fun and choose from our giant selection of board and card games, while enjoying pizza, beer, wine, and soft drinks. A $5 donation is suggested. The GGG team is grateful to John Lockhart, longtime volunteer and host of the popular Live Team Trivia event. John’s last regular Team Trivia session was at the December GGG – look for some new activities coming soon. We are grateful to John’s service since 2011! For more information about GGG contact Gilberto Mercado at outreach@thecentersd.org or 619-692-2077 x 252

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COMMMUNITY VOICES / NEWS/ ADVERTORIAL

GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

A more confident and less anxious new year

FROM PAGE 1

COURTS Thompson, 38, was found on University Avenue at 9:34 p.m. by a San Diego Police Officer, whose body-worn camera picked up the last statements of Thompson. He was stabbed in the abdomen on May 29, 2017. The two gay men were longtime friends but had a falling out earlier that day. Cooper had been staying with Thompson in his North Park apartment. A six-man, six-woman jury convicted Cooper of voluntary manslaughter on Aug. 29 after acquitting him of second-degree murder. San Diego Superior Court Judge Charles Rogers imposed the maximum 11 years for manslaughter plus a year for using a knife and two years for injuring

FROM PAGE 3

THE P-SHOT Is there a Shot for women? Yes, it is commonly known as the O-Shot and has many benefits including increasing sensation, better lubrication and improves urinary incontinence which can occur after child birth. Does my own PRP have any other applications? Yes. Your own platelet rich plasma can be used for PRP facials giving you smoother more youthful appearance and can be applied directly into painful joints and other parts of the body to eliminate pain. PRP can also be used in the scalp for hair regrowth. PRP has amazing benefits to patients that qualify, but not all patients will qualify. For those that don’t qualify, stem cells may be the answer. Do stem cells have any other applications besides P-Shot? Yes. Stem cells is a new

or positive thought, e.g., “I know my wife loves me” or “My husband has given me no reason to think he’ll leave me”. Every time the worry 4. thought (step one) comes up, do steps two and three. That’s it! It’s simple. The challenge is doing it consistently so that the worry thoughts (step one) are eventually replaced by the neutral/positive thoughts (step three). Make sure that you write this down. Create two columns: put the worry thoughts (step one) in the first column and the corresponding replacement thoughts (step three) in the second column. Most of us have the same worry thoughts over and over. We feel powerless to do anything about them, allowing them to invade our thoughts and dreams. Using this thought-replacement technique will shift that. Using it over time can actually eliminate the worry thoughts. Anxiety-reducing breathing: In this technique, you take in air through your nose, pause

a previous boyfriend and a store employee in a shoplifting incident. Cooper is required to serve 85 percent of his 14-year term, which is nearly 12 years before he can be paroled. He received credit for serving 645 days in jail. As of Dec. 26, Cooper remains in the George Bailey Detention Facility, awaiting transfer to state prison. He was ordered to pay $1,530 in funeral costs. Cooper worked at the nowclosed City Deli in Hillcrest as a cashier and busboy for 10 months, according to his probation report. He became homeless with a drug problem until Thompson took him in. Cooper said he had been clean for 17 months but relapsed just three weeks before he killed Thompson. “I made a huge mistake,” said Cooper to a probation

officer. “I never wanted to hurt him to the point that he would perish.” Cooper repeatedly denied stabbing Cooper to police until he heard his friend's last words naming him as his attacker. He later claimed the stabbing was in self-defense and claimed that Thompson had tried "hitting on me." Thompson's DNA was found on the knife and handle. Numerous surveillance cameras showed the two walking around North Park and then Cooper leaving by himself. In 2005, a boyfriend of Thompson's was punched in the face and had surgery to repair some injuries. Cooper pleaded guilty to battery and received a three-year prison term, according to court records.

frontier of regenerative medicine. In addition to the uses mentioned above, stem cells can be used to treat Parkinson’s, Multiple Sclerosis and Alzheimer patients, autistic children, regenerate painful hips and knees, can be used for hair regrowth and the list goes on and on. Give us a call to discuss your particular needs. How do I get my P-Shot in Mexico? We make the process very easy. After you call and make your appointment, we will pick you up at the San Diego Airport or alternatively at the border parking lot on the California side and transport

and then exhale as if you’re breathing out through a straw. Here are the steps: Breathe a full breath 1. in through your nose. 2. Hold it for 4 seconds 3. Slowly breathe out through puckered lips (as if you’re blowing through a straw) That’s it! It sounds weird, but, damn, it works! Thanks to the late Mac Eaton (a wonderful colleague and friend) who turned me onto this. Another anxiety-reducing breathing technique is alternative nostril breathing, which is a part of most yoga instruction programs. It’s much easier to do if you have a video to watch, so go to www.youtube. com/watch?v=WxEqooqgCEs and follow the steps. (I was going to explain it here, but it’s difficult to follow without visuals). I have been doing these two kinds of breathing for years now and they really work. As with anything new, it feels a bit odd at the beginning. But, do either one of them (or both)

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a few times and soon you’ll be able to do them quickly and easily. You don’t need any props for either technique and – be using them – in only a few minutes, you’ll feel less anxious and more confident. Let your body help to calm your mind. In conclusion: We all worry about life’s constant challenges, that’s normal. But, when worry and anxiety interferes with your life, your sleep and your peace of mind, then it’s a problem. The good news: you can do something – in fact, a lot of things – to make 2019 more confident and less anxious. Please give these techniques a try and see if your new year isn’t a whole lot better.

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t’s a new year. So what? What’s really going to change? Unless we take an active role in creating change, this new year will be pretty much like the last one. How would you like to have a more confident/less anxious year? Sounds good, doesn’t it? But, how is that possible? That’s what this column is about. As 2019 begins, you can begin to increase your confidence and comfort in your life as you chip away at your worries and fears. “How can I do this?” Never fear! Michael the psychotherapist is here! Here are several techniques that I’ve used with my clients (and myself) for about 25 years now. They work! Please give them a try: you have nothing to lose but your anxiety, worry and fear.

Take a few minutes and write a list: “What I’m afraid of.” Put everything on it that you worry about. Get it out of your head and onto that phone screen/piece of paper. This step alone calms many people: you can more objectively look at the thoughts you’ve been scaring yourself with (probably for years). Thought replacement: A big part of feeling anxious is anticipating something bad happening. You imagine a negative future outcome, over and over. So, let’s replace these fear-inducing thoughts with thoughts that are neutral or positive. Try this technique: Identify what you are 1. repeatedly thinking that’s making you anxious. For example, “I am afraid my husband/ wife is going to leave me.” Write it down. Imagine a huge STOP 2. sign appearing in front of you as you decide to STOP thinking that worry-creating thought. Replace that negative 3. thought with a related neutral

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GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

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Guest Editorial

Creep of the Year: Donald Trump By D’Anne Witkowski Hello there. Congratulations. If you’re reading this that means you lived through another year of President Donald Trump. As I write this there are so many scandals and crimes unfolding that I honestly can’t keep them all straight. The Defense Secretary has resigned, Trump wants to take away food assistance from poor people, we’ve pulled out of Syria apparently without any kind of plan, Russian President Vladimir Putin is talking about nuclear war, Trump shut down the government because he didn’t get funding for his stupid border wall, Michael Cohen is going to jail, and Trump is clamoring to shut down the Russian investigation. It’s amazing, and alarming, EDITOR Albert H. Fulcher (619) 961-1960 albert@sdcnn.om CONTRIBUTING EDITORS (619) 519-7775 Sara Butler, x118 Jeff Clemetson, x119 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi Michael Kimmel Neal Putman Nicole Murray Ramirez Mikey Rox Frank Sabatini Jr. CONTRIBUTOR www.canstockphoto.com WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA Sara Butler, x118 Jess Winan, x102

how numb we as a country have gotten to constant scandals and flagrant incompetence. But no matter what happens, Trump’s supporters will stand by their man. They have found each other. It’s a love story like no other. But instead of running through a field in slow motion while violin music plays, it’s Trump on a golf cart puttering through a hell scape of burning crosses and swastikas toward a crowd of white people in Make America Great Again hats while a chorus of thousands of babies crying and begging for their families plays on a loop. Ugh. I hate it so much. 2020 can’t come fast enough. And yet. So much more damage will be done between now and then. No matter who becomes president next, there

is going to be a lot of work to do. The amount of damage Trump and his administration has done to LGBTQ people is huge. Transgender people have been their favorite target. Trump is trying to roll back every gain that trans folks made under President Barack Obama. We’ve seen direct attacks on transgender service members, transgender students, and even transgender prisoners. You’ll recall that Trump attempted to tweet trans service members out of the military because he said the country just couldn’t afford all of these trans troops mooching off of Uncle Sam for their health care (and by health care Trump was likely only thinking “sex change operations” because he is callous and dumb).

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But wanting to come between trans folk and health care wasn’t limited to the enlisted. The Trump administration also worked to roll back protections from discrimination by health care providers. Then there was the scraping of rules put in place during Obama that allowed trans prisoners to be housed in facilities that aligned with their gender identity in order to protect them from sexual and physical assault. And, of course, they also scrapped the Obama Administration’s guidance for schools about LGBTQ kids, guidance that was put in place to help a population of young people who are often the most vulnerable, especially in areas that lack a certain je ne sais quoi (a.k.a. diversity).

Perhaps Trump’s biggest kick to LGBTQ people was his appointment, and the Senate’s confirmation, of Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, not to mention all of the lower courts that are being stacked with right-wing judges hostile to LGBTQ rights. This will shape how the law treats, and mistreats, LGBTQ people for at least a generation. Which is, of course, the point. Reshaping the courts has always been the goal of right-wing conservatives. And to their credit they have never taken their eye off of that prize. Overturning Roe v. Wade and, more recently, unraveling marriage equality, is something they want done by any means necessary. Which is why they have embraced the moral shit show that is Donald Trump, some even equating Trump with Jesus himself. You can pay to have sex with porn stars, cheat on all of your wives, swindle people out of money, and lie constantly, but as long as you’re willing to make sure poor women can’t get abortions and gay guys can’t say “I do” after tongue kissing each other, then praise be hallelujah! I know a lot of people are hoping that Robert Mueller will swoop in and save us from President Ignoramus. But that’s really wishful thinking. It’s dangerous thinking, too, because it inspires inaction and complacency. The truth is, the only person who can save us is us. This means voting, but that’s the bare minimum. We need to put our time and money behind candidates who reject the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Republican agenda. We saw some good things happen in 2018, like Democrats taking the U.S. House. But things will hardly be smooth sailing. I fully expect House Dems to give Trump hell, but Trump will no doubt lash back harder than ever before. If he’s going down he’ll take the whole country with him. 2019 is going to be a hell of a ride. Buckle up. —D'Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.t

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The state of the Democratic and Republican parties Conversations with Nicole Nicole Murray Ramirez

es, it’s true I have been a registered Republican, Democrat and Independent. While I am now a registered Democrat, I support and vote for who I believe is the best candidate — not the party — and thus do not vote for some Republican candidates, especially in San Diego where there are more moderate and pro LGBT civil rights supporters. When I first came to San Diego in the early 1970s it was truly a conservative Republican city with token Democratic party opposition. Now, there are more voters registered as Democrats, followed by Independents and then Republicans. Of the last seven mayors that I have served and advised, five have been Republicans and two have been Democrats. While I have always strongly believed in the two-party system, I now believe our nation needs a good solid third party. I also believe that we need to get rid of the electoral college and the candidate getting the majority of the votes should be elected our president — period! Right now I am concerned about the future

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of both the Republican and Democratic party as those that are registering as Independent are growing every year. While I am proud Latino and gay man I do not vote for candidates just because they are Latino or LGBTQ, although I would like to see more qualified Latino or LGBTQ candidates elected to office. As I have been saying for

these few last years “The Golden State is turning brown” and interestingly, Latino LGBT candidates have been elected to public office more than ever. Eric Bauman was the first openly gay man elected state chairman of the Democratic party in California. He resigned on Nov. 29, 2018 amid sexual misconduct allegations. The only two Democratic

candidates to replace him are both gay men: Marine veteran and Latino activist Will Rodriguez-Kennedy and former Democrats for Equality president Craig Roberts. The Democratic party seems to be spilt between moderates and liberal progressives, with some even calling themselves “Socialist Democrats.” The Republican party seems to have turned into the “Trump” party with some even calling themselves “Nationalist.” This past election in California just about wiped out the Republican party in our state. In San Diego, for the first time in history, our city council has a Democratic super majority of six with a Latina lesbian recently elected its president. Among the candidates vying for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president will be a gay mayor, a Latino who was formerly mayor, two African-American senators and probably up to four women. Hopefully someone will challenge Trump, or he will be impeached or resigned by next year. As I have said before, I strongly believe in the two-party system and if the Republican party does not become more moderate, pro LGBT and in tune with Latino issues, it is probably doomed. And if

the Democratic candidates become too liberal and left wing “Democratic Socialist” they could lose the presidency again. In San Diego’s upcoming mayoral race the leading candidate is a gay man of color. There could also be a woman candidate who registered as an Independent but will probably be supported by the Republican officials; additionally, there will three mayoral candidates who are registered Democrats. There are now three LGBT councilmembers and next year there could be four. While I believe that San Diego has had some of the best and most moderate Republican office holders in America, I believe our current mayor could be the last Republican ever elected in our region. There seems to be a fight for the “soul” of both the Democratic and Republican parties with majority of Americans polled wanting a viable third party. I not only urge everyone to be registered to vote, but to educate yourself about not only the candidates but also their political parties and platforms, both national and statewide. Get involved because 2020 will be the most important election in our lives … period!

see Nicole, pg 9

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LEISURE

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A whale of a tale Whale watching with Next Level Sailing

Humpback whales are easily identified for their large tails divided into two lobes called flukes, normally with a serrated edge and a deep notch in the center. (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher) Albert H. Fulcher | Editor With a slight off-ocean breeze, we glided through San Diego Bay, leaving the beautiful landscape of behind us. The morning crisp air brushed across our faces as the sun began warming our backs. Mists broke over the bow, bringing the fresh smell of salt water as the undulate

ocean beckoned the boat as it reached the open water. Slowly heading through a fair-to-middlin’ marine layer, the air cleared, and the quest had begun. On this day, the short voyage the crew accommodated me as a quest and approximately 25 people who were visually impaired, many getting the first tastes, feel and sounds that sailing in

open water provides. It wasn’t long before we heard the first breach and the words we all had been waiting for: “Thar she blows!” It was like a step back in time aboard 19th century yacht America in full sail. As we neared the pod of humpback whales, Captain Troy Sears, cut the engine and the America drifted in circles as we watched these magnificent animals, some with calves, as they fed in open water, apparently oblivious or uncaring whether we watched or not. When they ate, the hump of the whale’s back would breach high above the water line and as it disappeared, its large fluke pulled out of the water pointing to the sky as we watched

MICHAEL KIMMEL Psychotherapist Author of "Life Beyond Therapy" in Gay San Diego 5100 Marlborough Drive San Diego CA 92116 (619)955-3311 www.LifeBeyondTherapy.com

it slowly withdraw into the ocean. Everyone aboard watched and listened from all sides for the next whale to appear, never knowing where they would breach again after an average 10-minute dive. (They can dive for up to 30 minutes.) This is just one adventure that Next Level Sailing offers aboard the replication of the world’s most famous racing yacht, the America. With a rich record in sailing, from the original to this replica (which was built in 1995), this low, black schooner earned its reputation both past and present. As our guide for the day, Fathom Neft took over as coxswain, who recently passed her captain’s test, and told us how

the original America put race yachting on the map. This is why the most prestigious trophy in sailing is called The America’s Cup. Originally built in 1851 to prove that the United States’ mastery of the ocean was as defined as the British Royal Navy, the America won the Royal Yacht Squadrons’ 100 Guinea Cup — awarded to the winner of the race around the Isle of Wight. When Queen Victoria asked who came in second, the famous answer was, “Your majesty, there is no second.” And in short, The America’s Cup was born, named after this infamous boat that continued to be a part of U.S. history

see Whale watching, pg 9

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 8

WHALE WATCHING until her destruction in 1945 during World War II. At a cost of more than $6 million, the replica we sailed on was built in 1995. She is 139 feet in length, weighs 226,000 pounds, has a mast height of 105 feet and possesses a grand 5,900-squarefeet in sail. Captain Troy first participated in the 1987 America’s Cup as a fan. By 1995 had risen to Designated Federal Officer of the 29th Defense of The Cup in San Diego. He began Next Level Sailing with his friend Eddie Novak in 2003, purchasing two former America’s Cup racing yachts, the Stars & Stripes and the Abracadabra. In 2005, he partnered with “Papa Doug” Manchester to bring yacht America into Next Level Sailing’s fleet. Next Level Sailing took over sole ownership of the America in 2017. Captain Troy lives aboard

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GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

and has sailed America more than 100,000 nautical miles.

Next Level Sailing

Whale watching is available in San Diego yearround and Next Level Sailing boasts a 99 percent rate of seeing whales. Next Level Sailing also has a whale-watching guarantee. No whales, no fees. (It also has a seasickness guarantee as no guest has experienced seasickness in the bay and only 1 out of 200 in the ocean.) During anytime of the year, humpbacks, fin, minke and orcas can be seen. Gray whale watching runs December through April and blue whale watching is in late spring, summer and early fall. Next Level Sailing offers more than whale-watching tours. Its four-hour America Tour explores the power of the American Navy from the San Diego Naval Base to North Island. From May to August, guests get an interactive sailing experience with its 39th Annual Beer Can Races. Themed sunset sails

Humpback whales are easily identified for their large tails divided into two lobes called flukes, normally with a serrated edge and a deep notch in the center. (Photos by Albert H. Fulcher) offer spectacular evenings as the America sails out to Point Loma to watch the sunset over the water while looking at Downtown's lit skyline.

Movies are shown off the sail for family movie nights and it also offers Tiki and Wine & Cheese nights. All of the America’s tour packages include entry into the San Diego Maritime Museum, home berth for the yacht. Next Level Sailing is also available for private charter trips and as a unique venue for weddings. It can incorporate nearly any themed event. The America can carry up to 76 guests for day trips and has an overnight capacity for 12, with a commercial galley and heads below decks. All guests are encouraged

to bring their own food and snacks, dress in layers and wear comfortable shoes. Tours offer a cash bar of beer and wine on board, but guests can also bring alcohol as long as they pack plastic cups. For more information on Next Level Sailing’s adventures, visit nextlevelsailing. com. For private charter trips, call 858-922-3522 and ask for Fathom, or email fathom@nextlevvelsailing.com. —Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.t

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An adult humpback whale, along with her calf come up for air while feeding off the coast of San Diego “Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest” by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Hillcrestqueen5@ gmail.com.

FROM PAGE 7

NICOLE

Big Mike’s Birthday Fundraiser Big Mike Phillips is holding his 20th Anniversary of Big Mike’s Birthday Fundraiser on Jan. 19 at Riche’s San Diego from 5-8 p.m. Big Mike is asking for a $20 or more donation to benefit Florence Elementary School and The Matthew Shepard Foundation. 1051 University Ave. —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/ gay activist for almost half a

Big Mike Phillips (Courtesy of Big Mike Phillips) century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the

Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this column are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of Gay San Diego and/or its parent company, San Diego Community News Network (SDCNN). The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages. (Graphics provided by www.canstockphoto.com)t

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Vietnamese sensation Point Loma’s newest Asian eatery is all the rage

Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr.

oon after Banh Mi Hoi An opened in July next door to Bookstar/Barnes & Noble on Rosecrans Street, consumers with a taste for banh mi sandwiches and grilled meats began rejoicing. The applause stemmed largely from members of the Facebook group, Eating and Drinking in San Diego, as well as from LGBT patrons of The Hole in the Wall bar, which is in short walking distance. Having recently discovered the fabulous Saigon Star in Mission Gorge, my hankering for Vietnamese food finally led me here for a comparison taste test. I brought along a friend who also loves the food at Saigon. Our consensus was that the dishes at Banh Mi Hoi An are more exciting and complex. That declaration came only halfway into our lunch, after wolfing down a couple of pork skewers marinated in onions, lemongrass and five spice. This was glistening, unctuous pork with premium Asian flair. And for only $3 per skewer. Another starter, dirty french fries, featured a sprinkling of similarly seasoned pork over the thin-cut potatoes, plus

caramelized onions and a fried egg on top. It was a refreshing departure from carne asada fries, and would undoubtedly help sober you up if stumbling out of The Hole in the Wall with an extra pitcher of beer in your belly. The restaurant is owned by Duy Nguyen, one of the nicest guys in the industry who spent the last 20 years working in the financial world. Admitting he took “a leap of faith” when switching careers, the venture has so far paid off with a steady stream of savvy customers bestowing praise on his scratch-made meals. Meats are cut onsite and even things like pate, mayo, and a hot sauce constructed with four different peppers from his home garden are made in-house. While pondering our next choices, a woman at a nearby table interjected by recommending the chicken curry, citing that it was the fourth time in a month she had ordered it. The dish isn’t listed on the menu, but it’s available regularly as a special. I was hell-bent on eating a banh mi sandwich — or two. My friend, however, deferred to the customer’s testimonial and ended up with a superb stew of shredded thigh meat, potatoes and carrots set in a medium-thick broth flaunting yellow curry, star anise, cloves and bay leaves.

Banh Mi Hoi An 3145 Rosecrans St. (Loma Portal) 619-226-2524 banhmihoiansd.com Prices: Appetizers and salads, $4.50 to $11.95 Banh mi sandwiches, $4.50 to $7.95 Lunch combos, $7.95 to $9.95 Rice and noodle entrees, $8.95 to $11.95 “This tastes like the holidays,” she effused. I agreed after stealing a few spoonfuls, and had also noticed how far removed it tasted from Thai yellow curry. This was more seductive and multi-dimensional. The banh mi rolls are about the only thing Nguyen doesn’t make in-house. He sources them from Paris Bakery in City Heights. And they’re as every bit airy on the inside and crusty on the outside as baguettes you’d find in old European bakeries. I ordered two of the sandwiches — Vietnamese meatball and grilled beef. Both were in the good company of fresh cilantro, sweet pickles, raw jalapenos, shredded carrots and judicious smears of the housemade mayo. The loosely rolled meatballs are made of ground pork shoulder and contain fish sauce, garlic and five spice. They’re designed to smash apart inside the sandwich and meld into

A niche is filled in Point Loma for Vietnamese food (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) the veggie fillings. For better, for worse, the meat becomes a little mushy but yields the right amount of fattiness and flavor. I liked the beef banh mi better because the sesame-accented meat offered a firmer chew and didn’t flop out of the roll as much as the crumbly meatballs. In keeping with tradition of these French-inspired sandwiches, the proteins didn’t dominate the sandwiches. Nor were they overly scant. The famous Vietnamese noodle soup known as pho is missing from the regular menu. But it’s offered as a daily special, at least through the winter months. Nguyen says he cooks the beef-based broth for two days and tosses in filet mignon or oxtail. On this day it contained both, a tempting prospect during chilly weather, but not possible given everything else we ordered.

Nguyen’s inclusion of “Hoi An” in the restaurant name is a tribute to the namesake city along Vietnam’s central coast where his grandmother was born. It’s also where the late Anthony Bourdain gushed over pork skewers along the city’s ancient streets in an episode of CNN’s “Parts Unknown.” “He really put Hoi An on the tourist map,” Nguyen noted. The restaurant serves beer and wine and also offers happy hour from 3 to 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday, when drinks and appetizers are 20 percent off. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at fsabatini@san.rr.com.t

Dirty fries with grilled pork and egg

Chicken curry

Grilled beef banh mi with taro chips

Marinated pork skewers

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Pho Royal in North Park has permanently closed. The address went dark right after it was tented for termites in December. A family member from the ownership indicated it wasn’t financially feasible to continue running it, but added Old Town’s new mezcal-centric Tahona Bar will encroach on an existing storage space behind the bar to create a candle-filled speakeasy named Oculto 477. Co-owner Steven Sadri said it will open in late February or early March, and that design details are still in the works. He added that a door for customers to enter into the intimate confines has yet to be created. 2414 San Diego Ave., 619-255-2090, tahonabar.com.

Natural Style Chicken has come to the heart of Hillcrest. (Alternative Strategies)

Hillcrest recently became home to a second location of Natural Style Chicken, Restaurateur Chris McAfee explained to us that he recently closed his Smok’d Hog barbecue eatery in Hillcrest for a move to Vail Headquarters in Temecula, where he will share a 6,000-square-foot commercial space with three other food venues. He will also gain a full liquor license. “It was an opportunity I had to jump at,” said McAfee, who started the business as The Whole Hog four years ago at the triangular intersection of Park Boulevard and Robinson and Indiana streets. He plans on reopening at the new location by late February. He said a larger kitchen will allow him to introduce breakfast sandwiches and sell more

A new place for chicken wings has flapped into Hillcrest. (Courtesy of The Blazzin Buffalo)

Chicken wings and tenders rule the day at The Blazzin Buffalo, a fast-casual eatery that recently opened across the street from Bronx Pizza in Hillcrest.

that Pho Royal’s second location in Lemon Grove (6937 Federal Blvd.) will remain in operation. A different lease-holder will move into the space in January with a Cajun-style seafood eatery called Shrimp Heads. 2832 El Cajon Blvd.

A speakeasy will soon operate behind this Old Town bar. (Courtesy of Tahona Bar) which opened its primary restaurant at 3944 W. Point Loma Blvd. in 1979. Famous for its rotisserie birds, which are sold in whole, half or quarter portions, the new branch took over the former Tokyo Ramen. The menu also features ribs, chicken egg rolls and housemade sides such as potato salad, onion rings and refried beans. In addition, turkey and duck can be pre-ordered for parties or dinners to go. 501 University Ave., 619-542-9844.

This house-cured bacon will land in breakfast sandwiches when The Smok’d Hog moves to Temecula. (Photo by Chris McAfee)

smoked meats by the pound. 32127 Temecula Parkway, thesmokdhog.com. Owner Fahad Ibadi brings to the operation many years of experience making wings. He was longtime co-owner of Legends Wings in National City and worked in eateries that served wings before that. His menu offers 14 different sauce options, plus grilled chicken and shrimp that lands in salads, sandwiches and wraps. There’s also french fries topped with Buffalo-style chicken or pulled pork, which is slow-roasted onsite for five hours. By later this month, he plans on introducing several vegan options, such as mock chicken wings and breaded cauliflower in Buffalo sauce. 120 Washington St., 619-5429848, blazzinbuffalo.com.

San Diego will likely become home to an establishment boasting the largest commercial whiskey collection in the world when reps from Guinness World Records conduct an inventory count at The Whiskey House, located just outside the Gaslamp Quarter. Exceeding the collection of whiskeys at the Aero Club in Middletown, which offers several hundred labels, The Whiskey House greets customers with 2,800 choices from all over the globe. The tally by Guinness is scheduled to conclude Jan. 15. Co-owner Alex Minaev and business partner, Ryan King, started out with a mere 200 bottles when they opened the bar/restaurant four years ago. Minaev attributes the growing

GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

A world record may be set for a San Diego whiskey bar. (Alternative Strategies) trend in whiskey drinking to the massive collection, which includes Scotch whiskeys that are more than 40 years old. Potential contenders for the world record are Jack Rose Dining Saloon in Washington, D.C., and a hotel in Sweden. But unless they quickly beef

up their commercial inventories and register them with the organization, The Whiskey House takes the title. 420 Third Ave., 619-546-6289, thewhiskeyhousesd.com. —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san.rr.com.t

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David Renier from San Diego races around the second barrel during the Barrel Race competitions at the Hot Rodeo Palm Springs in Banning, California on May 13. (Photos by Albert H. Fulcher) participated in rough stock, roping, speed and camp events. Expert horsemanship, ranching skills and excellent sportsmanship were demonstrated by all the contestants. Competitions on both days included calf roping, team roping, break-away roping, pole bending, chute dogging, barrel racing and flag racing. Winners received buckles for each event, and each participant’s total score for the two-day competition decided the all-round winners in each category. bit.ly/2Q9CQVX

FROM PAGE 1

BEST OF 2018 Albert Fulcher spent a weekend of celebration throughout the Palm Springs area, which featured a pool party, dancing under the stars, and a kick off concert on Friday night with headliner Brandon Stansell, an upcoming gay country singer/ songwriter (bit.ly/2CEXmtZ). Held at the A. C. Dysart Equestrian Park in Banning, California May 12-13, entrants

Jessica D'Nalga takes her final walk before being crowned the 46th Princess Royale on April 15. Held at Rich’s San Diego on April 15, Imperial Court royalty from years past and Imperial Court community members celebrated as the 45th reigning Prince Royale

Paul Rhodes and Princess Royale Cheryl Lynn Styles stepped down, making room for the 46th royal prince and princess titleholders. With votes by the community and the Court,

the evening ended with fulfilling the completion of the 46th Court with the investiture of Prince Royale Steven Blocker and Princess Royale Jessica D’Nalga. bit.ly/2EWFJs5

San Diego’s LGBT News source Volume 9 Issue 6 March 16-29, 2018

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NEWS

Candidate Malbrough speaks, Nordstrom drops out

BEATING THE ODDS

Dockless bikes in Hillcrest

q INTERVIEW

By William E. Kelly Editor’s Note: This is the second in a three-part series. Read the first in the series online at bit.ly/2tGWqD9. On June 5, San Diego County will hold primary elections for the following seats: county board of supervisors; county assessor/ recorder/county clerk; county treasurer/tax collector;

Liz Carmouche, a 125-pound bantamweigh t women's MMA fighter, is ranked No. (Courtesy of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu) 6 in the world.

Former Christian rocker comes out

First openly lesbian fighter makes Albert H. Fulcher | Editor In 2010, when Liz Carmouche decided she wanted to compete in the MMA (mixed martial arts) professionally, she did so with a “head on” approach. She was

i THEATER

her way to the top of MMA rankings

told it would take a year or more of training before she ever saw the ring. But the veteran Marine Corps aviation electrician beat the odds, getting her first chance to fight professionally within four months of starting her training.

Now after 11 wins and six losses, Carmouche is currently the No. 6 ranked 125-pound bantamweight women’s MMA fighter in the world.

see MMA, pg 11

Homelessness in the LGBTQ comm unity

Mayor brings interfaith discussion Albert H. Fulcher | Editor

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The Interfaith Shelter Network (ISN) has been an effective program for the homeless throughout San Diego County, so far helping 8,000 homeless individuals gain access to resources and services to get their lives back on track. San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer joined the (ISN) in asking LGBT-friendly congregations to join the network and open their doors to homeless individuals at the ISN Summit on March 5 at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral. “We know there are a number of LGBTQ individuals experiencing homelessness and they need our help. That’s why we are asking LGBTQ-friendly congregations, who understand their needs, to join our care network and provide a temporary place for them to begin turning their lives around,” said Faulconer in a press release.

to LGBT–affirming congregations

Candidate Ken Malbrough

(l to r) ISN Summit panelists, The Very Rev. Penny Bridges, Trisha Brereton, Fernando Lopez, Gary Owen, and Jonathan Herrera (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

The ISN Summit discussion addressing the summit. “This panel consisted of The Very is a network that works and Rev. Penny Bridges, dean, with your help and participaSt. Paul’s Cathedral; Trisha tion, I think you will see the Brereton, ISN executive dibenefits in so many ways. That rector; Fernando Lopez, San is why I am optimistic about Diego LGBT Pride executive our opportunities to begin makdirector; Gary Owen, ISN voling a real difference.” unteer; and Jonathan Herrera, Faulconer said that combatsenior advisor on homelessne ss ting homelessness is about crecoordination for the city of San ating that safe space for those Diego. in need, regardless of someone’s “You all represent the fabrace, color, religion, gender, sexric of our city for wanting to ual orientation, national origin, do the right thing and helpage or disabilities. ing people get back on their feet,” Faulconer said when see ISN,

● Opening statement “The county has $2 billion in reserve tax dollars just floating in a cloud of unknown use by county supervisors,” Malbrough said. He said he pledges to “seek community input” on how these reserve tax dollars can best be utilized and would like to see them invested in “chronically neglected or underfunded areas,” such as housing and public safety in underserved communities. “My priority is reducing our homelessness epidemic and addressing this issue region-wide,” he said. “Providing access to health and human services is the primary and more affordable method to avoid the pathway to homelessness and incarceration.”

pg 15

Editorial/Letters

see Candidates, pg 5

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district attorney; county sheriff; county board of education members; community college district members; and superior court judges. In the first of this series, I spoke to Omar Passons and Lori Saldana, two of the six candidates I interviewed who wish to represent District 4 on the San Diego County board of supervisors . Each candidate I spoke to agreed to focus on the challenges facing seniors, and was offered the opportunity to state their priorities, objectives, goals and plans to address and achieve those priorities, as well as share their experience and qualifications. Following are the highlights of responses by candidates Ken Malbrough and Marcia Nordstrom.

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OUT & About Gay San Diego - An evening of ghoulish fun, the community comes out in full throttle with an array of costumes for the annual Nightmare on Normal Street on Oct. 27. bit.ly/2TiW0ur Now an annual tradition, San Diego Leather Pride evolved from its bar origins in 1982 with the coronation of the first San Diego Leather titleholder. In 1994, it introduced its first Ms San Diego Leather and then further expanded its reach in 2015 with its first San Diego Bootblack. Today, the yearly event is a major five-day festival of history, fun, and education — and the awarding of the 2018 San Diego Leather Pride (SDLP) titles. bit.ly/2Rn6hsp

see Best of 2018, pg 16

After a five-day festival, San Diego Leather Pride sashes Mr. San Diego Leather 2018 Doriam Couto on March 17.

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Ongoing Events

Auditions - The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus wants you to live your best life in 2019, and audition to be a part of their Motown show to be held at the Balboa Theatre April 1314. After applying online at SDGMC.org, potential singers will be contacted by chorus members to reserve their audition times on Monday, Jan. 7, 7-10 p.m.; Saturday, Jan. 12 1-4 p.m.; or Monday, Jan. 14 at 6-7 p.m. Potential dancers will have their auditions on Wednesday, Jan. 16 at 7 p.m. Auditions will be held at the University Christian Church at 3900 Cleveland Ave. bit.ly/SDGMCAudition Free dance classes - The Center and The San Diego Ballet are holding free dance classes this winter. Looking for a fun work out? Looking to socialize? Join their 10-week, hourlong dance sessions geared toward LGBTQ individuals and same-sex couples. 18-plus. 7-8:30 p.m. Jan. 7, 14 and 18; Feb. 11 and 25; and March 4, 18 and 25. The San Diego LGBT Community Center at 3909 Centre St. bit.ly/WinterDancing ‘TRYST’ - The Diversionary Theatre is announcing “TRYST,” a new dance cabaret by Michael Mizerany inspired by “La Ronde.” Based on a controversial classic, “TRYST” explores the power of human connection through sexual interludes across time, social class and gender. The show features choreographers Blythe Barton, Matthew Carney, Desiree Fejeran, Brittany Taylor, Sadie Weinberg and Michael Mizerany; and dancers Marty Dorado, Jake Bevill, Beverly Johnson, April Tra, Kevin Truitt, John Diaz, Jordan Daly, Brianna Bellamy, Karina Martinez and Kiona Daelyn. $15$30, group, student, educator, senior and military discounts available. Jan. 10-13, times vary. Diversionary Theatre at 4545 Park Blvd. #101. bit.ly/TRYSTDiversionary

Women in Blue - Tickets are now on sale for the ninth annual “Women in Blue” Luncheon. The event is a celebration of female leadership, diversity, and empowerment of women. This year’s theme, “Courage Knows No Gender,” embodies the resilience, strength, and bravery of the fearless female leaders serving America's Finest City. The event will take place on March 7 with registration starting at 11:30 a.m., followed by a program and lunch at noon. Located at Hilton San Diego Bayfront Hotel, 1 Park Blvd. Prices start at $125 and sponsorship opportunities are also available. bit.ly/2EUufV1

learn about the struggles to overcome persecution, the battle with AIDS, bullying and intolerance, the power of the community, and the tremendous strides taken in the fight for equal rights. The exhibit curator is noted author and historian Lillian Faderman. Runs through January 2020. 1649 El Prado, Suite 3. bit.ly/2o5PrxG

Friday, Jan. 4

‘RuPaul's All-Stars’ - Head over to MO’s Bar and Grill for the Official “RuPaul’s All-Stars” S4 Viewing Party with Chad Michaels. This season, Monét X Change, Latrice Royale, Trinity Taylor, Farrah Moan, Valentina, Monique Heart, Jasmine Masters, Naomi Smalls, Gia Gunn, and Manila Luzon will all battle for the crown. Viewing space is on a firstcome, first-served basis. 6:30 p.m. at MO’s Bar and Grill, 308 University Ave. bit.ly/RuPaulMOs Concert night at The Merrow - Rock bands The Aura & Øvation, The Fogels and DAB are coming to Hillcrest. 21+. $8. Doors at 8 p.m., show at 9 p.m. at The Merrow, 1271 University Ave. bit.ly/TheMerrowRocks

Saturday, Jan. 5

‘The Hour of Great Mercy’ - Tickets are on sale now for the world premiere of “The Hour of Great Mercy” by Miranda Rose Hall and directed by Rosina Reynolds. “The Hour of Great Mercy” is a poetic new play with music follows Ed, a gay Jesuit priest, who leaves the Catholic Church to reconcile with his estranged brother in an isolated icy Alaskan township. Playing Jan. 31-March 3. Tickets available in packages $45-$220. Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd. #101. bit.ly/HourofGreatMercy.

Night of Fantasies #LetsWalkTogether this holiday season for a Night of Fantasies, the inaugural kinky cabaret fundraiser. Hosted by members of California’s leather community, the cabaret will donate 50 percent of proceeds to San Diego Leather Pride 2019, and the remaining 50 percent to a charitable organization chosen by performers and volunteer staff. 4:30-5:30 p.m. The Merrow at 1271 University Ave. bit.ly/FantasyFundraiser

‘Struggles and Triumphs’ – The San Diego History Center in partnership with the Lambda Archives of San Diego brings the first-ever exhibition in Balboa Park focused on the history of San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community. Visitors will experience and

Auditions - Join the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus for their Info Night Party to hear them sing and learn what it’s like to be a member. 7 p.m. at the University Christian Church at 3900 Cleveland Ave. bit.ly/SDGMCAudition

Monday, Jan. 7

Tuesday, Jan. 8

Name and Gender-Marker Changes Clinic - The Center is holding a Free Name and Gender-Marker Changes Clinic for transgender and non-binary community members. As part of the clinic, attorneys and law students will provide assistance and guidance filling out forms required to apply for a court order necessary for a name change and/or gender marker on birth certificates and other official documents. Walk-ins will be assisted based on availability, so it’s encouraged to make an appointment for by emailing TransClinic.SanDiego@gmail. com. This clinic is sponsored by Pride Law at University of San Diego School of Law, Tom Homann LGBT Law Association, and The San Diego LGBT Community Center. 6:30 p.m. or 7:15 p.m. at the San Diego LGBT Community Center at 3909 Centre St. bit.ly/NameClinic

Wednesday, Jan. 9

Trivia night - Start the new year off right and join the Men @ The Center for The Center's GGG: Game & Trivia Night. The GGG — Guys, Games & Grub — features an evening of board games, food, drinks, and socializing. $5 suggested donation. 6 p.m. The San Diego LGBT Community Center at 3909 Centre St. bit.ly/GGGNight

Thursday, Jan 10.

Wildfires benefit concert - The Merrow is hosting a benefit concert for animal victims of the California Wildfires featuring Paloma Loca, Rat City Riot, Mafia Rusa, Death by Stereo and Lower Class Brats. 100 percent of the proceeds will be donated to the Humane Society of Ventura County, which is caring for wildlife, domestic and farm animals that are in dire need of medical attention, food and care. $15. 7p.m. at The Merrow, at 1271 University Ave. bit.ly/Punks4Tails

Friday, Jan. 11

Janice, Nathan & Tony Swing by Martinis Above Fourth for a performance by Janice, Nathan & Tony with

ACROSS

1 Queen of heaven, to Socrates 5 Partners of bottoms 9 Fashion designer Jacobs 13 Lesbian character in “No Exit” 14 Pull down 15 John Goodman's “Normal, ___” 16 Affluent, to Frida 17 Part of San Francisco's BART 18 Title for Chablis 19 ...you have ever been to a concert of ___ 22 Reproduced nonheterosexually? 23 “I Could Have Danced ___ Night” 24 “Lazy River” start 27 Drag queen's hose problem 30 Doubleday of baseball fame 32 Gore Vidal, ___ Edgar Box 34 Type of sucker 35 ...your favorite diva is Britney ___ 36 “Fancy” singer McEntire 38 ...you own every vinyl album of

___ (with 41-Across) 40 Bullets and cannonballs 41 See 38-Across 43 Type of job 45 Keep out 46 Tatum of “The Bad News Bears” 47 It's hung in a deli 49 Hi-___ graphics 50 He comes between Larry and Curly 52 Gay-friendly student org. 54 ...you voted for ___ 58 “Mommie Dearest” star Dunaway 61 Noncommittal words 62 In order (to) 63 Poet Gidlow 64 Yarborough of NASCAR 65 “Survivor” homes 66 Lesbian couples may do this 67 Mireille of “World War Z” 68 Words before were

Saturday, Jan. 12

Barrio Art Crawl - The Barrio Art Crawl is a free, self-guided tour consisting of murals, open studios, galleries, and local businesses throughout the Barrio Logan Cultural District. Come enjoy art, live music, food, vendors and more. Participating spaces include Chicano Park, Chicano Art Gallery, Iron Fist Brewing, La Bodega Gallery, Border X Brewing, the Barrio Logan Flea Market, Viva La Vida Gift Shop, The IN Gallery, San Diego Vintage Company, Golondrina, Beat Box Records, AgevCo and others. Free. 4-10 p.m. bit.ly/BLArtCrawl

Wednesday, Jan. 16

New Year Mixer - The San Diego Equality Business Association is holding their first event of 2019 — the Prosperous New Year Mixer — at the Porto Vista Hotel in Little Italy. Free with advanced registration. 6-8 p.m. at the Porto Vista Hotel, 1835 Columbia St. bit.ly/NYMixer

Thursday, Jan. 17

High Tech Fair - The Fleet Science Center is hosting its 2019 High Tech Fair, connecting local students with STEM-related businesses. The goal of the event is to show students real-world applications for the science they learn in schools. This event is for students grades seven through 12. Last year, over 2,500 students from 47 schools across San Diego County took part in the Fleet's 2018 High Tech Fair. More than 30 companies participated representing industries with a focus in aerospace and defense, biotech, energy and sustainability, environmental science, higher education, technology and finance. Participating students engaged in booths to explore circuits, interact with floating magnets, make laser-cut name badges and experience VR simulation. Free. 5-8 p.m. at the Balboa Park Activity Center, 2145 Park Blvd. bit.ly/HighTechFairt

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solution on page 13 DOWN 1 He got a blow job ... with a trumpet 2 Seminal computer 3 Some cans and bottles 4 Gaily colored flower 5 It rusts the Tin Woodsman 6 Trireme propellers 7 Like the beginning of “GWTW” 8 Slow kind of mail 9 Drop down like an eagle 10 “Now I get it!” 11 Disencumber 12 Queerly shy 20 Stats on a stallion 21 Labium 24 Not like the gay couple of SNL 25 Frost starter 26 Flaming queen's crime? 28 Tim of “Private Practice” 29 Clean-air org. 31 Golden Girl Arthur 32 Hot blood

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LIFESTYLE

gay-sd.com

Be awesome in bed

Five tips to becoming his go-to booty call By Mikey Rox We’ve all had a random hookup we hope comes back for more. Maybe they look yum naked or throw down the good-good like Thor’s magic hammer. Perhaps they give great postbang convo or cuddle like an Olympic-level big spooner. Whatever’s got you giddy for that one-time fling, here’s how to turn it into a regular thing.

Be available but play it cool

If you’re lucky enough to get a ping for a repeat session, act natural — and suppress your eagerness to respond immediately. Let the text sit for 15 to 30 minutes, then hit back that you’re out with friends at the moment (people with active social lives are much more attractive than those loafing on the couch — to me at least) but suggest a time that you’ll be home (even if you already are) an hour or two later. Yeah, playing this card may mean that the object of your ass-fection will move on to the next bro in line or be unavailable when you finally are, but this strategy allows you to pick up around your place and it gives you some measure of control from the onset since he’ll recognize that you’re not going to drop everything to get him back in your bed. If you’re the one reaching out when you’re thirsty, send one text and one text only. He got it — even if he hasn’t responded. Don’t get all Glenn Close about your non-relationship by blowing up his phone. Nothing makes people run for the hills faster than a creeper with boundary issues — no matter how big your dick or good in bed you think you are.

Keep yourself and your digs presentable

I met a guy at a bar once that I got just drunk enough to go home with. I very rarely go to “their” place, and his spot was a perfect example why: Mattress

on the floor, overflowing ashtrays next to the bed, the pungent smell of cat waste wafting through the barely furnished shanty. Totally turned me off. I couldn’t jet quick enough. I expect that you don’t have this problem — I assume most homos (even the younger ones) don’t live in squalor – but if you look around your home and see anything that a guest might find offensive, like dishes piled high in the sink, pet hair everywhere, or a shit-stained toilet, clean it. Visitors deserve to come into a respectable situation and failing to present yourself in a put-together manner basically says you don’t give a fuck — about you or them.

Show your interest, not your desperation

If you’ve managed to get the dude in your bed on multiple occasions, good on ya; you’re reaching pro status. But with that comes “feelings” a lot of times, and that scares some people. Don’t catch emotions. Coyly let him know you’re interested, but don’t be desperate about it. Not the sex, not the “something more.” It may evolve into that one day, and you’ll know if the sentiment is reciprocated (if you’re self-aware, at least), but for now, go with the flow, let things happen, be easybreezy, my friend. You’ll both have more fun that way.

Remind yourself that this is casual

If you find yourself developing more than lust for your now-frequent bed buddy, step back and assess the situation. Were you looking for a significant other when this started? Has he expressed a similar interest in you? Are you two on the same page, or is this just you getting ahead of yourself? Will this ruin the good thing you have? And what’s his deal? Is his life messy? Is he double-double toil and trouble? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

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I’ll be the first size-queen to tell you that you don’t have to be hung like a college basketball player (only reason I watch the games; it’s March Madness in my pants, y’all) to be a boss in bed. I’ve slept with a few men lacking manhood who more than made up for it with all the right moves. A solid bangarang is about confidence, self-awareness, focusing on your strengths (maybe your make-out game is strong, and he loves to kiss), and giving that boy what he wants and needs times two. Ask what he likes and follow through. Just don’t be weird, OK? Personally I’m turned off by someone who’s overly aggressive and/or too panty — at least at first; we can work up

GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019 to the kink — and neither of those first-fuck habits will warrant a follow-up sesh. Play it safe (figuratively “and” literally) while building the foundation for anticipation of the next time. If it’s memorable, they’ll be back for more — guaranteed.

—Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox.t

COMMUNITY

GAY SAN DIEGO Jan. 4-17, 2019

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Top 2018 Gay San Diego read stories online

Phenomenal local impersonators headlined the day at the Del Mar Fair celebrating Out at the Fair on June 9. (Photos by Albert H. Fulcher) FROM PAGE 12

BEST OF 2018 Those who ventured out to the San Diego County Fair had a full day of family-friendly fun with two stages,

dancing, dining, magicians, music, comedy, hunks to dunk, drag shows and more. The non-stop entertainment at both the Paddock and the Coors Rock-On stages kept people of all ages entertained for the day. bit.ly/2BYMPbR

OUT & About Gay San Diego - San Diego Bootblack 2018 Shilo Vix prepares to march in the 2018 San Diego Pride Parade on July 14. bit.ly/2R9ljCO

OUT & About Gay San Diego - From all walks of life, many went to The Red Dress Party for music, dancing, charity and to help fight the ongoing battle against HIV and AIDS at the Port Pavilion on Broadway Pier on Sept. 29. bit.ly/RedDressGSD OUT & About Gay San Diego - North County LGBTQ Resource Center holds Pride by the Beach at the Oceanside Civic Center on Oct. 13. bit.ly/NCPride18

1. "So long, but not Farewell," by Albert H. Fulcher bit.ly/2ApmlzU 2. "The 'Mayor of Hillcrest' has landed," by Nicole Murray Ramirez bit.ly/2DsQ6Qd 3. "Husband of Navy man accused of murder," by Neal Putman bit.ly/2BQiGZV 4. "Hot gay rodeo action," by Albert H. Fulcher bit.ly/2Q9CQVX 5. "Hidden treasure in Hotel Circle," by Frank Sabatini Jr. bit.ly/2LJIIF0 6. "Vice President Mike Pence is on my radar, wonder why?" by Mark Segal bit.ly/2R0uRQl 7. "Silent Night," by Albert H. Fulcher bit.ly/2CGw1Yo 8. "Let your rainbow flag opinions be known," by Nicole Murray Ramirez bit.ly/2GPHdGe 9. "2018 election wrap-up," by Nicole Murray Ramirez bit.ly/2BRNQSX 10. "GLBT Vote 2018," by Nicole Murray Ramirez bit.ly/2AsB5OD 11. "Guest Editorial: Lowercase b," by Hannah Heimer bit.ly/2R1Uu3b 12. "Best of Gay San Diego winners," by SDCNN staff bit.ly/2Sy2Xrx 13. "A vision for change," by Morgan M. Hurley bit.ly/2nABqr9 14. "Making his mark," by Delle Willett bit.ly/2DittAV 15. "Empowerment through music," by Albert H. Fulcher bit.ly/2ArqCmw

(l to r) George Takai with Richie Adams after the premiere showing of "American" at the Museum of Photographic Arts on Sept. 25. "American" kicked off the 2018 GI Film Festival. Special guest George Takei attended the GI Film Festival as the leading actor in “American.” Both films focus on World War II events and the important roles and services that Japanese-American military members provided. In addition to Takei, the directors of each film are expected to

attend the opening night celebration and will participate in a panel discussion after the screenings. (bit.ly/2QEs6k0) Takei also provided a personal interview on how important the message of the film was today and its similarities with current government policies, bit.ly/2SragRP

OUT & About Gay San Diego - Sen. Toni Atkins has fun with the crowd at this year's Stonewall Rally on Oct. 13, kicking off San Diego LGBT Pride weekend. bit.ly/2s1sQ7O —Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.t

The Rob Benson Foundation fundraiser on July 13 at the historic Burham house next to Balboa Park ended with a men's burlesque fashion show provided by ManFest.