Gay San Diego, Volume 10, Issue 8, April 12-28, 2019 by Lgbtqsdnews

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Volume 10 Issue 8 April 12-28, 2019

SDCNG purchases SDCNN newspapers

COMMUNITY VOICES

Julie Main becomes leading female publisher in San Diego

Accepting pronouns

8 NEWS

Push for AIDS memorial continues

DINING

By Kendra Sitton

Wedding and Portrait Photographers International (WPPI) 2017 Honors of Excellence Silver Award portrait by San Diego photographer Derek Chad. (Photo by Derek Chad Photography)

San Diego photographer Derek Chad’s life behind the lens Albert H. Fulcher | Editor Since the invention of photography, many cultures believed that in taking a

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THEATER

Diversionary rocks the stage with ‘Hedwig’

Index Opinion ................................... 6 Classifieds............................ 17 Calendar ............................... 18 Puzzle ................................... 18

photograph, it took part of their soul with it. In great photography, the photographer many times captures the essence of a person, especially in portraits.

San Diego portrait photographer Derek Chad displays all of the elements

see Derek Chad, pg 9

San Diego icon details lesbians in history By Kendra Sitton Third-century martyr Saint Eugenia fled her family and disguised herself as a man to join a monastery in Rome in order to get an education. Going by Eugene, she moved up the ranks to become head of the monastery. However, she soon faced accusations of having a carnal relationship with a woman. At her trial, Eugenia showed her breasts and revealed her true identity. The monks did not think a carnal relationship between two women was possible. She got off. “We can see the amusing doubledness,” SDSU professor emerita Bonnie Zimmerman said while

see Lesbians, pg 4

LGBT+ Studies pioneer Zimmerman explains the history of a French painting that has been read as lesbian since the 16th century during a lecture at the San Diego History Center. (Photo by Kendra Sitton)

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see SDCNN, pg 2 Always Dependable, Always There for You, Always Prepared

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In a deal made official on April 1, 2019, San Diego Community Newspaper Group (SDCNG) bought out the majority of San Diego Community News Network’s (SDCNN) publications, leaving only Gay San Diego under the control of SDCNN publisher David Mannis. Mannis decided to enter the newspaper industry again in 2009 and founded San Diego Uptown News. He later bought Downtown News from SDCNG and grew his newspaper network to six papers stretching across the county. After 40 years in the newspaper industry, he has decided to enter semi-retirement. Semi-retired because he retained control of one remaining SDCNN publication, Gay San Diego (gay-sd.com). “Although I will miss being involved in the Uptown, Downtown, Navajo and La Mesa communities, I’m pleased to retain Gay San Diego and to provide this important platform for the LGBTQ community,” he said. “I hope to build an even broader audience for this publication.” The new publisher for San Diego Uptown News, San Diego Downtown News, Mission Times Courier, La Mesa Courier and the now-closed Mission Valley News already publishes three coastal newspapers. With these four additions, Julie Main is in charge of the largest independent newspaper group in the region. As a woman in the male-dominated media industry, this marks a significant achievement.

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

NEWS

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“It’s a fun industry. The most exciting thing is everyone has a story. It’s very exciting to find out what those stories are and how it affects the people around us,” Main said. “I like that we can be frank and fair in our reporting and not just all bad news — we offer that homey feeling.” Over the years, control of the newspapers has passed between Main and SDCNN publisher David Mannis. The former couple founded SDCNG (sdnews. com) together in the 1980s. Even after their divorce in 2002, they worked together on La Jolla Village News, the Peninsula Beacon, Beach & Bay Press and Downtown News until Main took full control at the end of 2008. The merger led to a shuffle in the editors leading each of the newspapers. Albert Fulcher will stay at SDCNN as the editor for Gay San Diego. Jeff Clemetson is moving to SDCNG’s Pacific Beach office to continue leading Mission Times Courier and La Mesa Courier. Newly-hired editor Kendra Sitton is also moving to PB and will continue her work at San Diego Uptown News. In addition, she is now the editor of San Diego Downtown News, which was formerly under the purview of Fulcher. “The idea of having more county-wide or regional coverage in the communities and the zip codes we are picking up is very exciting. Uptown and Downtown has a lot of exciting news that ties in around the coastline as well. Then, La Mesa and Mission Times, those are very good bedroom communities. It presents a lot of good San Diego stories,” Main said.

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Couple wakes up to strange man in bedroom By Neal Putnam A gay couple testified April 4 about their shock of being awakened by an intruder wearing only boxer shorts in their home and demanding they give him clothes and shoes. The two men testified in the preliminary hearing of Cliff Edwards, Jr., 50, who afterwards was ordered to stand trial for residential burglary and two counts of robbery. Both Mark Dylan Renfro and his boyfriend Robert Alva said they were first alerted when their dog began barking. Then they saw the man at the foot of their bed at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday, Jan. 27. They were living in the 2300 block of Curlew Street in the Bankers Hill area when they discovered the man had somehow broken into their residence. They both identified Edwards as the burglar. “He was just standing there… only wearing boxers. He was

see Courts, pg 5

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

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NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

FROM PAGE 1

LESBIANS sharing the saint’s story at Lesbians in History on March 28, hosted by the San Diego History Center. “We look to the past for what validates our existence in the present,” Zimmerman said. The lecture was part of the Balboa Park museum’s recognition of Women’s History Month and its current exhibit on LGBTQ+ history. Curator of that exhibit and a long-time friend of Zimmerman, Lily Faderman, introduced her to the crowded room. “We do it for the

community, to introduce them to LGBT history, and this is a wonderful element. I think you can see how appreciated it was by the audience. We sold out and people were on the floor,” Faderman said. Many of the women in the audience already knew her — they were former students during her decades-long career at SDSU where she pioneered the women’s studies program or had seen this same slideshow at other lesbian-centered events in San Diego. Now a women’s studies professor herself at SDSU, Susan Cayleff praised Zimmerman for being an icon and pioneering the area of LGBT studies. She came to the event partially because

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the impact the slideshow has had in the community over the past decades in validating and honoring lesbian lives, and also for “the wonderful atmosphere in a lesbian-affirming space.” “She’s [Zimmerman] really so much of San Diego history. She virtually started the lesbian studies at San Diego State. She came here in 1978 and she was in women’s studies, but she very bravely taught some of the first lesbian — some of the first courses in the United States in fact,” Faderman said. “That’s very special.” Zimmerman spent years putting together the visual presentation that tracks how the modern lesbian identity was formed. She follows three

Bonnie Zimmerman said this pornographic depiction of two women was likely meant for the male gaze but it can still be interpreted through a lesbian lens. (Photo by Kendra Sitton)

strands throughout western cultures: sexual behavior between women, passionate or romantic love between women, and cross-gender behavior from women. St. Eugene, or Eugenia, fell into at least two of these categories. Like many women in seeking freedom and safety in the medieval and early modern period, she went through life as a man. Her assumed maleness also allowed her to pursue relationships with women without repercussions. Zimmerman noted historians kept better record of upper-class people, so many lower and middle-class women could have lived their whole lives as men with no record of them unless they were found out. “If they did not get into trouble, we know nothing about them,” she said. Another issue in the incomplete history of lesbians was due to censorship. According to Zimmerman, much of Sappho’s original poetry — which was explicitly erotic — was destroyed by Christians when they came to power. Still, the word “lesbian” is derived from the island where the Greek poetess resided. This intentional erasure or denial of sexual attraction between women is part of what spurred Zimmerman’s work. She literally wrote the encyclopedia on it — the “Encyclopedia of Lesbian Histories and Cultures.” While not a historian, Zimmerman uses what she described as an historical approach to modern lesbians. “I am interested in how people and communities look to the past and things in history to validate who they are in the present,” she said. The women she shared about, according to Zimmerman, probably would not have called themselves lesbians or understood that identity. “But the

choices they made are very recognizable. When we see them, we think that could’ve been me.” Another issue in the historical record is that some erotic content was made for men’s gratification, more than as a validation of lesbian relationships, Zimmerman explained during a slide with an ancient tablet with two women touching. “Is this for the male gaze? Maybe. But I’m a female and I’m gazing,” Zimmerman said to laughter from the audience. She also detailed the passionate letters many prominent women in the U.S. sent to other women. Zimmerman said those romantic correspondences show poet Emily Dickinson and many women in the suffrage movement, including Susan B. Anthony, writing of their passionate love for other women. Zimmerman said, “Women lived in sex-segregated worlds. Romantic love became a way to love each other free of the materialism of marriage.” They created tight bonds, and for many it was seen as the highest love you can have. “It makes you wonder how much lesbian sex was going on … I’d like to think that SBA [Susan B. Anthony] had a healthy sex life.” For her final slide, Zimmerman showed a photo of her grandmother wearing men’s clothing and leaning against two other women. She said she did not know the photo existed until her grandmother died and now she wishes she had been able to ask her about who took the photo. Zimmerman urged the audience to find more lesbian history. “It’s just wonderful to be a lesbian and to be here,” Zimmerman said. —Reach Kendra Sitton at kendra@sdcnn.com.t

gay-sd.com

COMMUNITY VOICES / NEWS

Am I ready for a relationship? Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel Finding the right person who will love you for who you are is one of the great achievements of life. In my work as a psychotherapist, I meet many women and men who tell me, “I want to meet someone wonderful. I’m ready and I want to meet them now!” This initial burst of optimism is laudable, but, is often followed a few weeks’ later by, “Why haven’t I met someone yet? What am I doing wrong?” Sometimes, the answer to that question is, “Perhaps you’re not ready for a relationship.” Gulp. No one wants to hear that. We like to see ourselves as a beautiful, desirable person that anyone great would want to be with. But, why then is it so hard to find a partner with whom you can experience long-lasting, romantic love? To attract wonderful partners, it helps to work on ourselves emotionally and mentally, so that, when we finally meet that terrific someone, we are ready for a healthy, loving relationship. If you want a relationship, but may not be ready for one, here are some ideas to consider:

FROM PAGE 2

COURTS erratic looking,” said Renfro. “He had crazy eyes, looking all around.” “I didn’t know if he had taken his clothes off (inside). He kept demanding clothes,” said Renfro. “I feared for my life.” “Someone’s after me. Give me clothes,” Renfro quoted Edwards as saying. Renfro told San Diego Superior Court Judge Jay Bloom he found some sweatpants and an olive shirt in his laundry hamper and gave them to him. “He immediately put them on. He said he wouldn’t leave without shoes,” said Renfro. “I told him the shoes were outside,” said Alva, who said the man went outside and Renfro locked the door behind him. “I was incredibly frightened. He said he would not hurt us if we gave him clothing,” said Alva, who added the man demanded clothing three to four times. “Dylan grabbed whatever was on top (in the hamper) and gave it to him,” said Alva. “He was sweating, his eyes were dilated. I assumed he was on some hard drug,” said Alva, who said he grabbed his cellphone and called 911. “Please don’t call the police, he begged,” said Alva, who quoted Edwards as saying, “I’m not a bad person. They’re coming after me.” “He sounded like he was under the influence,” added Alva. The couple said a police officer showed up within five minutes and they gave him a description of the intruder. Police later

• Lower your “DNC” emotions (e.g., desperation/neediness/clinginess) by taking better care of yourself. Treat yourself the way you want your future partner to treat you: don’t wait until he/she/ they actually shows up. Start feeling loved and valued now. • Make your life good before you start to date. Many of us are looking for a partner to make our life better. To some degree, this makes sense. But, if we are looking for someone to dramatically change our life from lonely and miserable to happy and loved, we’re looking for love in all the wrong places. No one can do that for you, and if that’s what you expect, I’ll bet you have a history of short unhappy relationships. • Get rid of your “perfect partner checklist”. This kind of list assumes that you know exactly who will love you best and that you can spot this kind of person when you first meet them. Wrong! Having rigid ideas of your perfect partner is so limiting that you may never meet anyone “good” enough for you. Be willing to be surprised on who you click with; if you have a pattern of the type of people you date, consider getting to know someone who breaks the mold. • Have a solid friendship circle. Don’t expect your perfect partner to be your arrested the barefoot man walking down the street and the couple identified him separately at a facility while he was wearing the clothes they gave him. Deputy District Attorney Jim Koerber showed the judge a photo of Edwards wearing the unbuttoned shirt and pants he was given. Renfro said the screen door to their unit was unlocked, but the front door was locked before they went to bed. A photo of the lock on the door was shown in court and it shows a striker metal plate is missing from the door lock. Renfro said he thought Edwards “used a tool to get in” their residence. Edwards has a prior conviction for burglary in 2009 and attempted robbery in 2015. The robbery charge involving the couple alleges he forced them to give him clothes by force or fear during a burglary. Edwards’ attorney, Liza Suwczinsky, said afterwards that if Edwards is convicted, he could face a maximum term of 35 years to life in prison as part of a “three strike” sentence. Suwczinsky said she did not know the circumstances as to how Edwards was only wearing boxer shorts when he asked the couple for clothes. The judge dismissed two counts of dissuading a witness from testifying and scheduled a trial date of May 24. Edwards pleaded not guilty at the end of the hearing and he remains in the George Bailey Detention Facility on $500,000 bail. —Neal Putnam is a local freelance writer. Reach him at nealputnam@gmail.com.t

everything: this is a set-up for failure. No person — no matter how perfect — can be everything we want and need. We need friends. If you don’t have this kind of friendship circle, begin to cultivate it. It takes time to “grow” real friendships, but you can always start now. • Learn to enjoy doing things alone. This terrifies some of us, but, it’s part of life. If you can’t enjoy your own company, you’ll be desperate to always have someone — anyone — around. Find things you like to do alone and start to do them. It can be as simple as going for a walk, sitting in

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

a coffee shop, potting some plants for your window box/ garden, listening to music, going to the gym/yoga … whatever makes you feel good. • Online dating sites can be ideal for shy/more introverted single men and women. They let you get to know people in a less intensely intimate (e.g. face-to-face) way. You can take the time (and even get a friend to help you) to complete a profile and put photos out there that you are comfortable with. There’s nothing sexier than to meet a person who is happy with themselves and sincerely wants to get to know you. Living a well-balanced and well-rounded life is attractive to others. Prioritizing selfcare, fitness and health makes

you someone that people want to get to know. Having an open heart and mind in meeting others will lead to eventually meeting a compatible partner. If you want a relationship — but aren’t quite ready for one — consider “trying on” some of the above ideas and see if your Mr./Ms. Right doesn’t come your way, maybe sooner than you think! —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.t

Time to save.

OPINION

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

gay-sd.com

Guest Editorial

Creep of the Week: Linda Harvey By D’Anne Witkowski The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network's (GLSEN) annual Day of Silence is Friday, April 12, and you know what that means: Silence. Well, sort of. The anti-LGBTQ right is always very vocal this time of year. According to GLSEN, the Day of Silence “is a student-led national event where folks take a vow of silence to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ people at school.” It sounds, well, pretty tame to say the least (no pun intended!). But to hear Linda Harvey tell it, the Day of Silence is a “weapon” in a “war on children.” This war, Harvey writes on the Barb Wire website, “includes pronouns as a battlefield, schools secretly colluding EDITOR Albert H. Fulcher (619) 961-1960 albert@sdcnn.om CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Assopardi David Dixon Michael Kimmel Jean Lowerison Nicole Murray Ramirez Mikey Rox Frank Sabatini Jr. Kendra Sitton D'Anne Witkowski CONTRIBUTOR www.canstockphoto.com WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA Albert Fulcher albert@sdcnn.com

with deeply disturbed children behind parents’ backs and even teachers encouraging students to join private ‘gay’ clubs on Instagram without parental knowledge.” What? Teenagers on Instagram without parental knowledge? Can you even imagine? The Day of Silence, which GLSEN has been sponsoring since 2001, is a textbook example of peaceful protest. What are people protesting, you ask? According to GLSEN, “Nearly 4 in 5 LGBTQ students don’t see positive LGBTQ representation in their curriculum, nearly 8 in 10 experience verbal harassment and almost a third miss school for feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. The Day of Silence is a national movement to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ students in school, which demands that COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958 mike@sdcnn.com MARKETING MANAGER Francisco Tamayo (619) 272-1279 SALES ASSISTANTS Erik Guerrero SENIOR INTERN Brian Deeb ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 accounting@sdcnn.com

school leaders take action to be more inclusive.” Alas, “inclusive” is a dirty word to Harvey. In fact, she doesn’t believe LGBTQ kids are being bullied. “Here’s how the bullying story goes,” she writes. “We are told that people who claim a homosexual or opposite-sex identity — which no one needs to do, so always keep that in mind — that these folks are relentlessly bullied, are perennial victims and are being ‘silenced’ everywhere. Are you laughing yet? Where and when have homosexuals and their allies been ‘silent’ lately? If only!” LOL! Those big-mouth homos! Those loud lesbians! Those garish gays! Those booming bisexuals. Those thesaurus-using trans folks. OMG, aren’t you laughing so hard right now about them supposedly being bullied? No?

Well, Linda is. She’s not very nice. I’m struck by her aside that “no one needs to [claim a homosexual or opposite-sex identity], so always keep that in mind.” First of all, I’m not sure what an “opposite-sex identity” is, but Harvey doesn’t know either, so at least we’re even. But I’m struck by her claim that her readers should “always keep that in mind.” It sure sounds like what she’s saying is that no one needs to come out as LGBTQ, and if people choose to come out, well, sucks for them and any bullying they experience they brought on themselves. She admits that some bullying happens “and that’s never acceptable.” But then she says that LGBTQ oppression is a “phony narrative” and that it’s “quite a stretch” to accuse people of being bullies just because they don’t see LGBTQ

OPINIONS/LETTERS: Gay San Diego encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email either to albert@sdcnn.com and include your phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff.

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bullying as a big problem but they do see the existence of LGBTQ people as a big problem. “Any person can object to high-risk ‘LGBTQ’ behavior but also, never bully anyone,” Harvey writes (comma placement is all hers). “And of course, faithful Christians believe the Word of God, and so we know this behavior is wrong. So the Day of Silence is an event that, by definition, discriminates against Christians.” Ah, yes. The old “not being allowed to insist that LGBTQ people are gross and damaged violates my religious beliefs” argument. Harvey then asks, “Who are the real bullies here?” You are, Linda. It’s still you. Why are you so bad at this? Thankfully, Harvey knows how to protect innocent wouldbe bullies from being unwillingly exposed to the idea that LGBTQ people are human beings worthy and deserving of respect and kindness. “We are suggesting that parents keep kids home that day and away from the false messages that don’t help anything,” she writes. “Our children will not benefit from lies combined with a flagrant misuse of instructional time.” OK, so if I’m understanding this correctly, the most hardcore anti-LGBTQ students will be skipping school on Friday, April 12, so that they don’t miss any instructional time. Got it. It’s interesting that Harvey thinks that the Day of Silence doesn’t “help anything,” and yet she’s urging parents to keep their kids away from school that day lest they be tempted into humanizing or feeling any compassion toward LGBTQ people. Yep, sounds like the Day of Silence is totally ineffective at reaching people, then. The Day of Silence is, according to Harvey, “a huge con job” intended to normalize “sexual deviance.” Oh, Linda. Shut up. Shut up for us all. For more information on how to participate in the Day of Silence, visit glsen.org/ day-silence. —D'Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.t

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COMMUNITY VOICES

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

Accepting nonbinary, queer and new pronouns Empowerment at our LGBT Community Center and seeing and hearing the pride, visibility, and empowering their “truth.” All I ask is that our younger LGBTQ generation be more patient and understanding of us and our journey in life. I am a proud, Latino, gay man and you should be proud of whatever you identify as. Thank you for listening.

Conversations with Nicole Nicole Murray Ramirez As someone who grew up in the 1950s and ‘60s I recently finally came to terms that I have had difficulty in accepting and understanding some changes that have and are going on in our LGBT community. For me, my “truth” and life has been as a homosexual, a pre-operative transsexual and now a gay man. My generation has always had a difficult time with the word “queer” because for us this word was always a very negative, ugly and violent word used against us for decades. When some of our younger LGBTQ generation started using and describing themselves with the word queer it has made many of us uncomfortable and reminded us of past attacks and bad incidents in our lives. I also come from a time that we fought just to be called gay men and women and not homosexuals. We were the gay community and that covered all of us and honestly the word lesbian was added, and we became the gay and lesbian community. Many people thought that was dividing the men and women in our community when in truth it was empowering our lesbian community. Having lived as a pre-operative transsexual in Hollywood and fighting for transsexual equality I have to admit it was difficult for some of us when the word transgender came about and the transgender umbrella was lumped in with transvestites, cross-dressers, drag queens all under this umbrella. In in my days, transsexual meant you wanted to change your sex period. I grew up in the era of Christine Jorgenson, an American trans woman known for having sex reassignment surgery in her 20s in 1951, having to go to Denmark to have the surgery done. Recently I have come to realize that I have not only been uncomfortable with the changes in our community labeling, especially now that it has gone to LGBTQIA+. But although I have not liked these changes

—Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the “Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest” by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail. com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2. (www.canstockphoto.com)

and really not understood them, in my own way have come to accept them. Recently, I have realized that in not fully accepting these changes I have disrespected individuals and many of our younger generation and for this I am truly sorry for and apologize to anyone who has felt disrespected or dismissed. My generation has to accept that our younger people have the right to make these changes and be not only who they want to be but called what they want to be called just as us homosexuals fought to be called gay. I do still believe our LGBTQ organizations have and are doing a bad job in educating not only our community but the heterosexual “straight” community about the changing LGBTQ community and especially the transgender community. The truth is that many in our community do not really know how to correctly describe the LGBTQ community especially our transgender brothers and sisters. Yes I have had difficulty with the new using of pronouns by many of our growing younger LGBTQ community. I still don’t really understand it but it’s the right of everyone

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Resume to David Mannis at David@sdcnn.com (619)961-1951

to be called and accepted by their own terms and it’s up to me to respect and acknowledge that — period. Many of my generation do not like change, but that’s our problem and actually too bad as change happens in every generation. The suicide rate among our younger generation is high so it’s up to us to be supportive and more understanding. We don’t always have to “get it,” It

is up to accept these changes which make their lives and their “truth” more livable and freer to be who they are. So if they want to use pronouns and be called he, she, they, them, etc., so be it. I know many of you are wondering what happened to bring me to write this column and admit my faults. To be honest, it was attending last Friday’s Transgender Day of

Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this column are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of Gay San Diego and/or its parent company, San Diego Community News Network (SDCNN). The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages. (Graphic by www.CanStockPhoto.com)t

events @TheCenTer Thursday, May 2

13th Annual Dining Out for Life® San Diego

Friday, May 17

11th Annual harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast

Don’t miss the 13th Annual Dining Out For Life® San Diego. Each year, Dining Out For Life® San Diego draws thousands of participants who dine out with family and friends for breakfast, lunch, dinner and/or drinks at the event’s participating locations. Those locations – some of San Diego’s most generous restaurants, bars, coffee and ice cream shops – agree to donate 25 percent or more of their food and liquor sales from that day to support HIV services and prevention programs at The San Diego LGBT Community Center. Visit thecentersd.org/DOFL for all things #DOFLSD.

Saturday, June 22

12th Annual Pachanga de Frida

7:30 am, hilton San Diego Bayfront

6-10 pm, The Center

The Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast is designed to bring together more than 1,000 diverse San Diegans – business, labor, Democrats, Republicans, all communities, all ages, all San Diegans who support equality and justice – to celebrate the memory of this influential civil rights activist. Proceeds benefit the social services programs of the San Diego LGBT Community Center. Visit us at events.thecentersd. org/hMDB for tickets and more information.

Each year we celebrate the birthday of Frida Kahlo, commemorating the legendary life of one of the most influential Mexican painters of the mid-twentieth century. Attendees will enjoy live music, art exhibits by local Latin@ artists, a Frida look-alike contest, great food and tequila! Proceeds from this event benefit The Nicole Murray-Ramirez Latino Services @ The Center. Ticket available soon! For more information contact ricardo at latinos@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x116. For sponsorship opportunities contact Megan at events@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x255.

www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

facebook.com/At.The.Center

NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

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Push continues for San Diego AIDS Memorial By Kendra Sitton Uptown Planners approved the creation of Olive Street Park to go forward at its April 2 meeting as the fight continues over whether the site will hold an AIDS memorial. The motion for the park passed 10-3 despite loud opposition from some board members and a neighbor who announced she is suing the city to keep the section of the property she has incorporated into her yard. The proposed AIDS memorial, which would honor the 8,000 San Diego victims of the AIDS epidemic and give their friends and families a place to pay them respects, was not included in the presentation by the developers of the site. This led some board members to oppose the park entirely because the memorial will likely be included in a second permit that will not need to come before the community planning board for approval. Member Amie Hayes accused the city of purposefully using the permit process to keep Uptown Planners from having input on the AIDS memorial, which some worry would create foot traffic and crowding in Bankers Hill. She said the city is trying to bifurcate the projects to get around their work to oppose the memorial at the Olive Street Park. Hayes is the author of a MoveOn petition to block the AIDS memorial from the

Developer presents plans for Olive Street Park at Uptown Planners Meeting, which does not currently include an AIDS memorial. (Photo by Kendra Sitton) Olive Street Park site. Since it launced in 2017, it has gained 36 signatures. However, an effort she led to send a letter to city officials demanding a proposed memorial come before the committee for approval failed to pass by one vote while four members chose to abstain. The fight over Olive Street Park in Bankers Hill is just the latest speed bump in the decades-long push to bring an AIDS memorial to San Diego. The most recent iteration of that effort is led by longtime LGBT activist Nicole Murray Ramirez, AIDS activist Susan Jester and San Diego's first lady Katherine Stuart Faulconer, who together co-chair the AIDS

Memorial Task Force. Their work was bolstered by the sale of the Truax House, the first AIDS hospice in San Diego. Assembly member Todd Gloria spearheaded an effort to tie the proceeds of that real estate sale to the development of Olive Street Park, including an AIDS memorial. The Olive Street property was donated to the city in 1908 to create a park but the 0.69-acre lot has laid idle for more than a century as it awaits full funding. According to Jester, the task force was already turned down by five other potential memorial sites, including Balboa Park. “I believe Olive Street Park is an entirely appropriate place for an AIDS memorial

… We wanted to pick a place where someone could come and sit and reflect pray or meditate in honor of loved one,” Jester said. The task force developed the idea of a quiet park setting for the memorial based on feedback from loved ones of the disease’s victims. Ramirez said he fielded emotional phone calls for years from people who wanted a place where they could honor someone who passed in the epidemic. “We went through the AIDS epidemic. We lost hundreds of friends. We saw people who wouldn’t pick up their children’s ashes, funeral homes wouldn’t take their bodies. There were so many awful things that happened in the AIDS epidemic that people today don’t know about,” Jester said. One idea mentioned at the Uptown Planners meeting was placing the memorial at the recently approved Normal Street Promenade. Jester said she believes this is more in an effort to fund the promenade with the proceeds of the Truax House sale than to properly honor AIDS victims. “Some folks saw dollar signs because they need to fund the promenade as well. Put a plaque up on the promenade and we’ll get a million and a half bucks,” Jester said. She said the memorial should be a place for people to come, be quiet and be reflective in an

outdoor setting that provides people the privacy of their thoughts. “I don’t see that happening at a promenade.” “Because of the money attached to this AIDS memorial, people want it at Hillcrest,” Ramirez said. While Ramirez and Jester did not know the exact details of Gloria’s deal with City Council, they both remember the funding from the Truax House being tied to the Olive Street Park, not to an AIDS memorial that can be placed anywhere in San Diego. Jester said there is nothing limiting the number of AIDS memorials in San Diego to one. However, if the plaque is located underneath the Pride flag as mentioned, she said it will undo decades of work to break the stereotype of AIDS being referred to as a “gay” disease. According to Ramirez, the task force is intentionally working to include all victims of AIDS as well as the women who often served as caregivers for victims. Jester said if a plaque were placed on Normal Street, it would not be a quiet place to sit and lay flowers for someone on their birthday or the day they passed, as many victims’ loved ones have requested. “The worst place I can think of to put an AIDS memorial is the middle of Normal Street on a promenade,” Jester said.

see AIDS, pg 9

NEWS / FEATURE

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 8

AIDS

that at one of the meetings, one of the [neighbors] stood up there and said ‘I don’t want those ashes flying in the air,’” Ramirez said. “It’s been a very emotional, heartbreaking thing for me.” More than 8,000 people died from AIDS in San Diego, but Jester and Ramirez contend not all of those names will be included in the memorial because it could open them up to lawsuits. “A lot of folks who have relatives who’ve died of AIDS don’t necessarily want to be identified as having a gay son or drug addict daughter,” Jester said. “They [the opposition] think there’s gonna be masses of people there which there are not … I don’t see hundreds of people.” Ramirez said Olive Street Park would be a meaningful location because of where the funds for the park came from and because a children’s playground will be next to it. “The Truax House was sacred ground for us,” he said. Ramirez said that hearing children playing closeby would also be a reminder that life goes on. According to Jester, out of the top 10 largest cities in the U.S., San Diego is the only one without an AIDS memorial.

Another objection to the Olive Street Park site is that at less than an acre, it is too small to hold a “regional” memorial that could accommodate people from across the county. The opposition has seized on this designation of “regional” as a way to oppose the memorial on the basis that it conflicts with San Diego’s general plan. However, the task force is pushing back on that language. “We never called it a regional memorial. All we wanted was this to be a marker to remember those who’d passed,” Ramirez said. “There can be an AIDS memorial anywhere. This is not the regional memorial — just a beautiful marker with people’s names, the story of AIDS and AIDS organizations.” Ramirez and Jester also said misinformation is being spread about the park holding large events. They think people are imagining it like the Vietnam Memorial, while they said in reality, the memorial would be much smaller and would not attract huge crowds. Jester said only about 100 people come to the annual World AIDS Day event in Hillcrest. “I and others just want it [the AIDS memorial] some1 2/5/19 8:06 PM whereCMI_Half_Page_English_Bleed.pdf so people could come —Reach Kendra Sitton and remember… it got so bad at kendra@sdcnn.com.t

FROM PAGE 1

DEREK CHAD that transforms portraits into works of fine art. A multiaward-winning photographer, he understands and practices photography artistry with expertise, utilizing his keen personal and technical skills. Going through his portfolio, he shows that he is a master of composition, understands the elements of natural and manmade lighting, and expertly combines these elements whether shooting in color or black and white. Higher on the scale of superb photography, Derek Chad invokes emotion with his subjects, creating an immediate impact. Regardless of the composition of the photo, he understands his

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019 subject. Whether posed or capturing a moment in time, his works tell a story, an essential element that engages the observer. His portraits are much more than photos, they are pieces of fine art. From wedding portraits to nudes, his signature style is evident and differentiates his work from other artists. There are many driving forces that bring all of these elements together, and as a family man with young twin sons, Derek Chad talks about his art, his family and his work in the world of competitive photography. When did you get into photography and what drew you into it? I’ve always been a fan of photography and after college it became a hobby and interest. But, it wasn’t until I had

Derek Chad earned a silver award in the nudes category from this series of portraits.

(l to r) Derek Chad and Clint Marsh with their twin sons Hudson and Logan (Photos by Derek Chad Photography)

kids that it became something I really focused on. My husband and I have twin boys that are now seven years old. When they were born I wanted to make sure I had some great photos of them and document their lives the best I could. So I started learning as much as I could online and attended conferences like WPPI (Wedding and Portrait Photographers International) that would help advance my knowledge and understanding of photography. I have always been passionate about portraits. When I was getting started I gave wedding photography a lot of my attention. Wedding photography helped me learn

see Derek Chad, pg 12

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DINING

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

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Pods of male, female and drag mermaids have splashed into Sirens Bar & Restaurant, the new Hillcrest venture by restaurateur and former “Top Chef ” contestant Frankie Terzoli. “Tails were flipping and glitter was flying,” said Terzoli of the recent debut his “merpeople” made at the seafood-centric establishment. The performers will appear randomly at celebrations and community events held at Sirens. In addition, Terzoli is holding drag shows at the establishment during brunch on the last Sunday of every month, starting April 28. A portion of sales from those brunches will go to the San Diego LGBT Community Center. “I know that any money given to The Center will directly impact the community that supports the restaurant,” he added. Terzoli has also committed to giving 50 percent of his dinner sales on May 9 to The Center in support of its annual Dining Out for Life event, which supports HIV/AIDS services and prevention programs. 3797 Park Blvd., 619-510-4933, sirenssd.com.

Frankie Terzoli with Sienna Desire at Sirens. (Courtesy of Sirens Bar & Restaurant) Tijuana-native Gaston Corbala has opened Son of a Toast in a former tattoo parlor in North Park. The eatery slings slices of French white bread (and gluten-free bread) that are toasted and topped with a variety of sweet and savory ingredients. Corbala graduated from Mexico’s Culinary Art School and founded Gringo Grilled Cheese, which later turned into Grater Grilled Cheese with multiple locations throughout San Diego

County. He has since sold the brand. “I grow concepts and sell them,” he said with the hope this newest venture will take off. Among the toppings that land on the toasted breads are chocolate chip Nutella, fresh berries, prosciutto di Parma, goat cheese curds, smoked turkey and more. The menu also extends to crafty cold brews and non-alcoholic cocktails. 3066 University Ave., 619-3268125, sonofatoast.com.

The longstanding Nashville dining concept known as “meat and three” has been adopted by chef-restaurateur Jeff Rossman at Terra American Bistro, which operated in Hillcrest for a number of years before relocating to the east College Area. The meal option allows guests to choose one meat and up to three “down-home” side dishes for a cost ranging from $15.95 to $19.95. The meat and side options will rotate throughout the season. Rossman also completed a light remodel of the restaurant, which is acclaimed for its farm-totable credo. 7091 El Cajon Blvd., 619-293-7088. terrasd.com.

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Frankie Terzoli with Sienna Desire at Sirens. (Courtesy of Sirens Bar & Restaurant)

Urban Kitchen Group’s new executive chef, Tim Kolanko, is heading up Cucina Urbana’s next “beast feast” dinner on April 16. The spotlight is on buffalo, which will be served in several dishes such as cannelloni with roasted

Gourmet toasts rule the day at a new North Park cafe. (Photo by Reed Byrd) Pete DeCoste of Pete’s Seafood and Sandwich in North Park is flying in more than 200 pounds of soft-shell Ipswich clams from New England for his upcoming clam fest on May 5. The Boston-area transplant holds the event every few months at the eatery, starting at 11 a.m. and until supplies run out. And they always do, he says. The steamers are touted for their sweet-salty flavor.

DeCoste serves them with clam broth and drawn butter, and sells them for $13 a pound, which yields about 15 clams per order. Customers are encouraged to call the restaurant in advance or sign up for email blasts in the event the clam beds back East close unexpectedly, in which case the event will be postponed. “It’s happened a couple of times,” DeCoste said. 3382 30th St., 619-255-8940, bostonpetes.com.

Local chef Nick Nappi of On the Fly Bone Broth & Soup

Co. recently debuted his chicken bone broth and bone-broth soups at the North Park and Pacific Beach farmers markets. Prior to securing slots at the markets, he was catering the products for private clients, which he still does. Nappi uses locally sourced ingredients and sells the broths and soups in 32-ounce biodegradable containers for $15 and $13, respectively. They are also available in 8-ounce sipping cups for $3 each. In addition, The Patio Express (928 Fort Stockton Drive) in Mission Hills now carries his line. Health gurus and nutritionists say bone broth helps rebuild the immune system, promotes restful sleep, and regenerates skin, hair and nails. ontheflysd.com.

Medicinal bone broth shows up at two local farmers markets. (Courtesy

— Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san.rr.com.t

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tomato sauce, and a strawberry-rhubarb tart using ice cream made of buffalo milk. The multi-course dinner will be served family style. Tickets are $85 per person. 505 Laurel St., 619-239-2222, urbankitchengroup.com.

of ontheflysd.com)

DINING

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

Two truckers and a frittata Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr.

t was the crack of dawn. I had just exited my vehicle in the immense parking lot of Perry’s Cafe when a 20-something guy emerged from the cab of a U-Haul truck a few yards away. Unshaven and wearing sandals over soiled white socks, he asked if I’d eaten here before. “Yes, several times,” I replied as we concurrently moseyed into the 34-year-old diner. “I’ve been on the road all night from Arizona and I heard they have great coffee and omelets,” he said in eager need of both. Moments before he seized a stool at the 13-seat lunch counter, and as I settled into a nearby booth alongside a partition of glass blocks, I advised him to try a frittata instead of an omelet. Seemingly unfamiliar with the dish, he nodded amicably and took up conversation with a folksy waitress, telling her about the moving business he runs for “Zonies” who relocate to California. I ordered the Mexican frittata — a departure from my usual Italian sausage frittata. Minutes later, a ruggedly handsome man donning a ball cap with the name of some labor union on it sat in the booth in front of mine. He knew a few surrounding customers and ordered ham steak with eggs. Through eavesdropping, I learned he drives produce to Midwest cities and sleeps on a cot inside his 12-wheeler during the trips. He routinely kicks off his journeys with breakfast here. Perry’s has been something of an urban truck stop and blue-collar haven ever since the late Constantine Georgakopoulos founded the

two-room restaurant in 1985. Located at the lip of Old Town, it has also become a haunt for office workers and hipsters seeking anti-trendy food served in brisk, generous fashion, which is precisely what you’ll find here from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. daily. The three-egg frittatas are about as elaborate as things get. The menu refers to them as “fancy omelets.” Technically, they are open-face omelets that don’t get folded over. With nearly a dozen types to choose from, you end up with mouthfuls of meats and/or veggies entrapped in the eggs. My Mexican frittata contained an abundance of shredded beef and was covered with a blotchy mix of jack and cheddar cheeses. Its puffy mass and craggy exterior caught the eye of the U-Haul driver, who jokingly blurted, “That looks like a brain with melted cheese on it.” He was right, although I suspected this was the first frittata he ever laid eyes on. Despite his unsavory comment, the dish was appealing. But not as stimulating as the sausage frittata. From a choice of sides that include home fries or hash browns, I chose a generous serving of refried beans made with lard. They come with flour or corn tortillas, a ramekin of mediocre salsa, and a scoop of whipped butter, which pairs as swimmingly to frijoles and tortillas as it does to pancakes. In past early-afternoon visits, when families, professionals and younger folk start appearing, I’ve forked through a range of dishes — all tasty fare that hardly fits into today’s “elevated” category. Though the Reuben sandwiches are made with lean and thickly cut corned beef, which isn’t roasted in-house, the corned beef hash originates from industrial cans. And I don’t mind.

Perry’s Cafe 4610 Pacific Highway (Loma Portal) 619-291-7121 perryscafesd.com Prices: Frittatas, omelets and other egg dishes: $7.75 to $13.95 Pancakes, waffles and French toast: $6.35 to $9.35 Sandwiches and burgers: $7.10 to $11.50 Combo Mexican plates: $9.60 to $11.25 Various berries served atop pancakes and French toast start out frozen. Only the bananas are fresh. No big deal. As for those coins of sausage loaded into my go-to frittata — or the chorizo I enjoyed previously in an omelet served with a preformed tablet of hash browns — a waitress once indicated to me those foods also hail from big distribution companies. But the cooking at Perry’s is gut-warming for the most part. Prices are still reasonable for the ample portions you get, and service is fast and chummy. In addition to all-American breakfast and lunch fare, the menu embodies an assortment of pedestrian Mexican dishes

leave good-enough alone. As shown by its bustling atmosphere, resistance to change doesn’t always chase people away. — Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of ‘Secret San Diego’ (ECW Press) and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at fsabatini@san.rr.com.t

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such as tacos, enchiladas and burritos that I’ve yet to try. “Our menu is almost exactly the same as when we first opened,” said the founder’s grandson as I was paying my bill at the front register. In an age when restaurants come and go at the drop of a crumb, and when consumers have grown increasingly restless for the latest and greatest kitchens, it’s nice to step into a place that knows when to

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Refried beans and tortillas are served with whipped butter.

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A short stack of buttermilk pancakes

The Mexican frittata

Little has changed at Perry’s Cafe since it opened in 1985. (Photos by Frank

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FEATURE

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

FROM PAGE 9

DEREK CHAD many different kinds of photography quickly because it is very demanding in regard to the skills and techniques that are necessary to excel in that industry. I wanted to jump into wedding photography because of my own experience looking for a wedding photographer when my husband and I were planning our own wedding. We had a hard time finding a photographer that we were comfortable

with who was also talented. I wanted to be that talent and comfort for other LGBTQ couples. As my career has grown, I no longer offer full wedding day coverage but do provide creative portraits on wedding days when requested. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m excited my career gives me the opportunity now to only shoot the portraits I love shooting. Has photography always been a profession for you? If not, when did you move towards photography as a profession and how was the transition?

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I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t officially start my photography business until 2013. I went to school at UCSD and studied music and political science. I later went on to get my MBA from the University of Phoenix. After my MBA I started working in the insurance industry. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like it. So when my kids were born, we had to move to another city. In 2011, I became a full-time dad. [I] Started portrait and wedding photography in 2013. I love being a stay at home dad, it is the best, but I wanted to do something for myself on the side. In 2013, it kind of

2016 WPPI Silver Award winning portrait

2016 WPPI Silver Award (Photos by Derek Chad Photography)

went from there and became something bigger than I had ever imaged. I am so fortunate to be able to do both of the things I love. What draws you to portraits? Portraits tell a story while giving me an outlet to be creative. I enjoy making people look like the best versions of their true selves. It lets me make a statement and celebrate individuals/ individuality. When you approach portrait photography, are there certain things that always a part of the process? My clients tend to trust me and the creative process. So, I actually like to go into a session without a lot of planning. Sometimes, based on the person, I will have them bring a prop or two and/or certain clothing they prefer to be photographed in. Then we just take it from there. I like to get to know the person, so we usually meet or chat on the phone a lot before the session and get to know each other. Tell me about some of your award-winning portraits. Weddings and Portrait Photographers International (WPPI) is an international print competition held every year in Las Vegas, Nevada. Photographers from all over the world go each year to compete in their print competition where prints/images are judged by a panel of highly recognized and accomplished photographers. Each

entry is judged and given a score. If you are given a high enough score you are awarded a silver or gold award for the submission, which is a very challenging thing to accomplish. Over the past three to four years, I have been submitting images to this competition and I absolutely love it. I have learned so much from the other entrants and judges. Just watching the whole thing happen live in Las Vegas is exciting, whether you win an award or not. When an entry is awarded the audience does a nice little clap and it is the best feeling when it is yours being judged and it receives that response because you know you have won. I have received 13 awards from WPPI. One of them received second place this past year in the Fine Art Nude category. Can you share your family life with us? I believe people would love to know a little bit more about the man behind the camera. My family is everything to me. My husband and I have lived together since 2001. We met online while he was studying abroad at Oxford in England, UK and I was living in Arizona. Two months after we officially met, I moved to San Diego, the rest is history. We have made the best life together. He and I had always wanted kids and we were fortunate to have twins that were born in 2011. Their names are Hudson and Logan and they

see Derek Chad, pg 19

FEATURE

gay-sd.com

This is Ben Platt ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ actor-singer talks telling his story with debut album and the problem with a coming-out announcement By Chris Azzopardi It comes up casually, as Ben Platt prefers. Tucked into “Older,” a theatrical juggernaut that doesn’t even try to hide the fact that the actor-singer introduced Evan Hansen to the world (because why would it?), the line is a personal aside expressed on an otherwise universal ballad about wishing to speed up time in your youth, only to hope for more of it as you age: “And will I get to know myself in the place I am / Get to fall in love with another man, and understand.” If you didn’t already know Ben Platt is gay, this is how he wishes you’d find out. Casually. The theater star turned pop crooner came out in his personal life when he was 12, then landed his Broadway debut in “The Book of Mormon” as Elder Cunningham in 2012. He went on to bag a Grammy and a Tony (he has an Emmy too, putting him on EGOT watch) for his

moving portrayal of the titular teen in “Dear Evan Hansen,” also on Broadway. And, of course, he brought literal magic to the “Pitch Perfect” franchise, as super nerd Benji Applebaum. But Platt’s earnest and emotional Atlantic debut “Sing to Me Instead” is his first public expression of self, at 25. “The main reason I wanted to make this music was to have the opportunity to go around the country and play it live and have that live connection, because that’s what I grew up loving the most,” he says, “and singing live is my favorite thing to do.” In addition to a 12-city tour, Platt will also star alongside Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Lange and Bette Midler this year as a high school go-getter who’s eager to be the actual president — but first, student government — in the forthcoming Netflix comedy series “The Politician,” which debuts Sept. 27. The series, he says, is, “in

Ben Platt, theater star turned pop crooner came out in his personal life when he was 12.

true Ryan Murphy fashion, very queer-positive.” During our recent conversation, Platt also discussed being the reason so many people are crying, LGBTQ stigma in Hollywood, and why he thinks we should move beyond coming-out announcements. (Chris Azzopardi) How do you process the fact that you’ve been making so many people cry with this album? (Ben Platt) You know, it’s a strange thing. I think it’s just nice to see that people are finding ways to connect to it. I tried to make it as sort of specific as possible because usually that kind of thing begets the most universality, and it’s been really nice that that’s really been the case. And I hope it’s all good, cathartic-type tears and not the bad kind! (Laughs) How did these songs come to you? In waves? All at once? First in waves. I think when I first sat down to write the album I tried to just lean on what came in terms of what I thought deserved to be sung about, because I come from the theater, so I feel like my philosophy has always been that you only really sing when there’s something emotionally valuable enough to sing about, and that ended up being largely the relationships that I’d had and a couple I was in while writing. So I think it was a mixture of trying to lean on those experiences and those emotions, then also accruing phrases and ideas and conceptual things that I felt hadn’t been necessarily stated that way before or said that way before and finding a way to join them. What hadn’t been conveyed that you wanted to say with this album? “Grow as You Go” is the one that comes to mind only because I had never really heard a song that addressed this copout thing that always tends to happen when you’re in a relationship and you get to a point where it gets a bit too scary and the person backs out with the excuse of, “I need to go find who I am and I don’t have enough legs to stand on as my own person.” Of course that’s valid in many cases, but I’ve also found out that it’s kind of something to hide behind. I think if the connection is strong enough, and theoretically if it’s a special enough person

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

Actor-singer Ben Platt (Photos by Julian Broad) and it’s the right person, then it shouldn’t really keep you from experiencing personal growth and finding who you are just because you happen to be with someone else who is also figuring those things out. Was there ever a time you didn’t think an album like this, where you could be your out, authentic self, would be possible? I think, yeah. If we’re all realistic about the world, it’s not all roses and it’s not all fantastic and we don’t live in a vacuum where it’s all pure acceptance. And particularly as an actor, there’s a lot of stigma surrounding what you’re castable as when you’re out of the closet, and sort of what characters you can play and how people will view you going forward. But as far as the decision (to be out), it really was a no-brainer, because if I was gonna try to do something that felt authentic to me and was gonna sort of express any kind of truth in my own life, then there would be

no room to edit it or change it just because I hadn’t expressed those things before. You say there’s a stigma to be out if you’re an actor. Do you think gay actors and musicians are asked to keep their sexuality quiet when promoting projects and has that ever happened to you? I’m sure that’s something people encounter. I know that’s definitely not something we’ve moved forward from in general. I have been really lucky personally to work pretty much only in environments where it was incredibly accepting and open — and, I mean, I grew up in the theater where everyone is gay, so it was never an issue (laughs). And I don’t necessarily think that an actor’s private life, regardless of their sexuality or any of that, is pertinent when you’re playing a different character. I think when you’re promoting something, it’s about the project and the work. What

see Celebrity, pg 14

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FEATURE

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

gay-sd.com

FROM PAGE 13

CELEBRITY was beautiful about this experience was the work: It was sort of built into the work itself, and it was part of what the content is. And I think it gave me an opportunity to discuss it in the context of art rather than sort of trying to interject it into a conversation about work that was really sort of irrelevant to it. But I do maybe think there is pressure to present a certain accepted form of masculinity, or to feel like you can still fit into certain boxes so you don’t limit yourself. I’m hopeful that is slowly fading away and that everybody can just accept that actors are chameleons and we can play who we can play. Is it necessary to still make a coming-out announcement in 2019? I gather that you think it’s not? I just don’t think it should be perceived as an abnormality at all, and in and of itself, having to announce something suggests that it’s departing from the norm or that it’s something that needs to be addressed. I think it should just be part of who we are – same as that I’m Jewish, and I’m also gay. The more that it can become an assumed part of reality, the better. In putting forward your own authentic self with this album, have you consciously had to work against the sort of nerdy-kid persona that’s been your staple? Sure — sure! Less the archetype and more so the specific role of Evan Hansen, I think, especially in the context of music, just because I think most people, as far as my voice, are most familiar with that album. So I’ve tried to really embrace the emotionality of that and how beautiful it is that people connected to that character and my interpretation of that character, and try to use that as a fire under my butt to create my

Ben Platt “Sing to Me Instead” (Photo by Julian Broad) own stuff and to put my own self out there rather than a road block of, “Let me try to change the way that I’m viewed.” Hopefully just by virtue of the

fact that I’m now presenting myself free of any character, that’s just gonna change the perception regardless of how I posture myself. Does maturity explain the beard? Yeah — well, I just prefer to have a beard whenever possible. I’ve just been playing teenagers so much, like in “The Politician,” that I’ve not been able to have one. I’m enjoying it while I can. Alongside Blake Shelton and Zac Efron, you were included in People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2017, as Sexiest Broadway Performer. Were you prepared for that moment in your career? Certainly not! (Laughs) That was not something that was ever on my sort of preconceived bucket list! I mean, it’s very flattering and very nice, but it was never a conscious goal. It was not like the Tony and the Broadway of all of it, but it was lovely to see! And it made me feel good — and made me want to go out and go on some dates! Are LGBTQ youth reaching out to you expressing what this music means to them? Are you seeing the same tweets that I’m seeing? It’s hard to gauge. This is the first time I’ve released music on my own, so this is the first time I’m experiencing,

like, how to experience the way it’s being received. There are so many different measures of that, but definitely as I give the social a scroll, if you will, there are beautiful messages from people. Of course there are messages from youth, particularly LGBTQ youth, who feel really affected by the representation and feel really seen and like they can see themselves in the art, which is something that’s obviously very beautiful to me. But what’s been the most heartening to me is how innocuous that aspect of it has been and how it’s really been about the music itself, and how regardless of walk of life or sexuality or age, people are really finding ways that these songs fit into their lives, and that’s the ultimate gift: that they become so malleable. That’s been really beautiful. That songs that are very specific to your own life can have universal appeal? For sure. And that I can sort of express an experience that can then make it maybe easier for someone else to go through that same experience or an experience like that. What have you learned from other out artists, like Sam Smith and Troye Sivan, when it comes to navigating the music world as an out artist? I would say from all artists,

not just queer artists. But certainly all of my favorite artists, queer or not, are sort of the ones who are true to themselves and more singular to themselves and not really wasting any time trying to fit into a preconceived box. Something that’s been really wonderful about working with Atlantic is they’ve been so reverential to my vision, allowing me to lead the way creatively and really trusting my instinct and my gut feeling, and allowing me to be the kind of artist I wanna be and not sort of “pick a lane” in any way. I think the only reason it’s been successful thus far and people are connecting with it is because they’ve allowed me to be individualistic. And so I certainly admire any artist, queer or not, who is able to blaze their own path in that way. Just if you’re authentic, I think that’s the most attractive quality beyond just a beautiful voice, feeling like this is undoubtedly exactly who you are. —As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.t

gay-sd.com

A rock star like no other By David Dixon

Some musicals become increasingly well-known over time. One such example is the edgy rock musical comedy-drama, “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” With a book written by John Cameron Mitchell, who originally starred as Hedwig Robinson himself, the show follows a genderqueer East German rock singer. It was an Off-Broadway hit at the Jane Street Theatre in 1998 and later adapted into an acclaimed (although financially unsuccessful) movie that starred Mitchell and was written and directed by him as well. This musical didn’t get mainstream attention until it was staged in 2014 at the Belasco Theatre, starring Neil Patrick Harris. While the Broadway staging featured several script changes, including a subplot involving a fictitious “Hurt Locker” musical, the 20th Anniversary Legacy Production at the Diversionary Theatre is a more traditional adaptation, with some San Diego humor thrown in for good measure. Hedwig (non-binary performer, Jeremy Wilson) is visiting San Diego with her Jewish former drag queen husband, Yitzhak (Cashae Monya) and rock band, the Angry Inch, to perform and narrate her life story.

Wearing a variety of colorful Peter Herman wigs, she discusses her awkward adolescence, her love of music, and flawed relationships with men. The singer is especially hostile when discussing her ex-boyfriend, a successful rocker Tommy Gnosis (voiced by Wilson on Matt LescaultWood’s audio), as she claims he doesn’t give her credit for his success. Since Tommy is performing across the street, Hedwig’s dissatisfaction and rage grows throughout the concert. Mitchell’s dialogue is often very funny, with crude puns and in-your-face raunchy jokes that reference famous rock stars and songs. He also displays Hedwig’s cruel behavior towards her husband, which makes the charismatic vocalist sometimes very unlikable. Wilson, onstage for almost the entire evening, acts and energetically sings and dances to Michael Mizerany’s sensual choreography. It’s a performance that requires total commitment from beginning to end, and Wilson never seems overwhelmed by the challenge. Monya gets plenty of memorable moments as well, and sings with rawness and feeling in songs such as “Tear Me Down” and “Exquisite Corpse.” A creative choice from Artistic Director Matt M.

Hedwig’s Jewish former drag queen husband, Yitzhak (Cashae Monya)

THEATER

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

Hedwig (non-binary performer, Jeremy Wilson) (Photos courtesy of Simpatika) Morrow was his decision to have Monya wear sunglasses for a big portion of the performance. I wasn’t sure at first if this would work, given how expressive Monya can be. Hence, for the first half, Monya’s portrayal relies more on her strong vocals and body language to carry the performance. Morrow’s decision pays off later when Monya takes off her sunglasses, and audiences see in her eyes the internal pain that Hedwig has caused Yitzhak throughout their marriage.

In Stephen Trask’s musical numbers, the stars are backed by Hedwig’s band, which is made up of keyboardist Patrick Marion, guitarist Jim Mooney, bassist Linda Libby and drummer David Rumley. Not only do they bring a punk rock edge to the production, but they also are given visually distinct looks through Elisa Benzoni’s cool costumes. The one-act production runs for 105 minutes and Morrow creates the atmosphere of a rock concert, rather than that of a traditional musical. Justin Humphres’ set, Curtis Mueller’s lighting, and Adam J. Thompson’s projections all contribute to the hallucinatory atmosphere. While the music elements are a big draw of the show, Morrow is still able to convey

Mitchell’s moving message about personal acceptance. It’s a theme that will likely appeal to a lot of LGBT theatergoers. Morrow’s rendition is both a thrilling love letter to rock and roll and a fascinating look at gender identity. Twenty years later, Mitchell’s original narrative might be an even bigger draw for “ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between.” “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” is running at the Diversionary Theatre through May 5. For tickets or more information, visit diversionary. org or call 1-619-220-6830. —David Dixon is a freelance film and theater writer. He can be reached at daviddixon0202@gmail.com.t

THEATER

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

gay-sd.com

‘Life After,' a musical with life lessons Theater Review Jean Lowerison

t’s a pain, having a famous father who seems never to be home when you need him. In Britta Johnson’s new musical “Life After,” 16-yearold Alice Carter (Sophie Hearn) has a psychically bruising argument with dad Frank (Bradley Dean), accusing him of valuing his job as a motivational speaker over that of being her father. Angry words are exchanged on both sides. Frank calls her later to make amends, but Alice does not call him back. The next thing Alice gets is a call from mom Beth (Mamie Parris), “You should come home. Something has happened.” Frank has been in a fatal car crash, and now Alice blames herself. “Life After” is her voyage of discovery to find out what really happened. Helping (and sometimes confusing) her in the endeavor are elder sister Kate (Charlotte Maltby) and best friend Hannah (Livvy Marcus), along with Alice’s English teacher Ms. Hopkins (Dan’yelle Williamson). A heavy topic for a musical? You betcha. Johnson, a new face on the theater scene from Stratford, Ontario, has written book, music and lyrics for “Life After,” now in its American

Sophie Hearn as Alice Carter (center) with the cast of "Life After," running March 22 – April 28 at The Old Globe. (Photos by Jeremy Daniel)

premiere at the Old Globe Theatre. The Globe’s artistic chief Barry Edelstein directs. In this show, Johnson explores topics of grief, loss, guilt and the inevitable messiness of life with a clever, intelligent and moving book and a score that is of the next generation: reminiscent of Sondheim (Johnson reports that she was fascinated as a child by “Into the Woods”) with fast lyrics and a pop undergirding. This show even has a mythological

aspect: three shape-shifters called Furies, who serve as a sort of Greek chorus. The script jumps around between now, then and Alice’s fantasies – the physical changes accomplished visually with movable fabric panels (by Neil Patel) and Japhy Weideman’s lighting. Some of the fabric has also been used in costumes by designer Linda Cho, and by Sven Ortel for projections. It’s all very clever and economical – and best of all, it works. Japhy Weideman’s lighting maintains the almost other-worldly aspects of the plot,

as does Ken Travis’ sound design. And with a terrific cast of engaging characters, the intriguing music and human problems we can all identify with, “Life After” is a winning show. Hearn nails Alice’s roller-coaster emotional ride from hurt to guilt to confusion and final acceptance (when she learns to do what Frank suggests in the song “Control What You Can”) in a terrifically nuanced performance. She’ll break your heart with her final song, “Poetry.”

(l to r) Bradley Dean as Frank Carter and Sophie Hearn as Alice Carter

Now Playing!

April 6 – May 5 Extended through May 12

Sophie Hearn as Alice Carter deals with the death of her father

“Life After” Plays through April 28 The Old Globe Donald and Darlene Shiley Stage 1363 Old Globe Way in Balboa Park Tuesday and Wednesday at 7 p.m. Thursday and Friday at 8 p.m. Saturday at 2 and 8 p.m. Sunday at 2 and 7 p.m. Tickets: 619-234-5623 theoldglobe.org Parris’ Beth wants to help the suffering Alice, but she has her own problems to deal with – including her new identity as the “wife of a famous dead man.” She takes out her frustration in the song “Wallpaper,” in which she paints over the wallpaper she’s always hated in Frank’s office. Maltby’s Kate tries to convince her sister that she’s not responsible for Frank’s death, but it’s a hard sell, and the best she can do is be there. Marcus is excellent as Alice’s only friend Hannah. These two girls are not members of the school “in group,” shown amusingly in a scene in which Hannah goes to a reportedly “open” party of the popular kids. Dean’s Frank is excellent as Alice’s dad, and especially amusing in a scene where he does his thing as a motivational speaker, advising followers to “Forgive Yourself.” Kudos also to music director Chris Kong and his fine five-member band, who do justice to Johnson’s fine score. Playwright Britta Johnson is a bright new Canadian face (she’s from Stratford, Ontario) on the theater scene. She began writing “Life After” at the age of 18. I look forward to many more fine plays from her. "Poetry” Video available here: www.youtube.com/ watch?v=GWHB3aZGQcg — Jean Lowerison is a long-standing member of the San Diego Theatre Critics Circle and can be reached at infodame@cox.net.t

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

QueerX Festival — Premiere queer global streaming network, Revry, is proud to present the fourth annual QueerX festival May 31-June 2 in West Hollywood. Formerly known as Out Web Fest, QueerX is the intersection of music, film and industry. Today, QueerX announces its 2019 program lineup as well as the star-studded, opening-night concert headliners. The festival features luminaries in the LGBTQ and media influencer communities with concerts, screenings, industry speaker panels, parties, the Powerhouse Industry Pitchfest and the Revry Visibility Awards. queerx.com

Friday, April 12

‘Angels in America’ — Comprised of two three-hour parts, “Millenium Approaches” and “Perestroika.” Set in America in the mid-1980s, in the midst of the AIDS crisis and a conservative Reagan administration, New Yorkers grapple with life and death, love and sex, heaven and hell. Alternately hilarious and heartbreaking, it was awarded two Tony Awards for Best Play and the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Playing through April 20. Cygnet Theatre. $35-$55. 4040 Twiggs St. Old Town. bit.ly/2EwYGAf

‘Life After’ — The Old Globe presents the U.S. premiere of “Life After,” a rapturously beautiful and stirring new musical with book, music, and lyrics by Britta Johnson, directed by the Globe’s own Barry Edelstein. With choreography by Ann Yee and music supervision, arrangements, and orchestrations by Lynne Shankel, “Life After” will run through April 28 on the Donald and Darlene Shiley Stage in the Old Globe Theatre, part of the Conrad Prebys Theatre Center. 1363 Old Globe Way. $34-$102. bit.ly/2Us1nvO

gay-sd.com

'Sorry Angel' — "Sorry Angel" is a film about a semi-successful writer who attracts the attention of a young man experiencing a sexual awakening in this inter-generational drama exploring gay life in Paris during the early 1990s. The film will be showing from April 12-18. Digital Gym Cinema. Times vary. $11 GA; $8.50 students and seniors; $7.50 members. bit.ly/2YZTEEx

Saturday, April 13

Taste of Hillcrest 2019 — Foodies get ready for a wonderful opportunity to sample the best of Hillcrest's restaurants at the 18th annual Taste of Hillcrest! More than 35 fantastic Hillcrest restaurants are participating in 2019. Craft beer pairings will also be provided. Experience the most anticipated self-guided culinary walking tour in San Diego. Sample bites include spicy pad Thai, delicate sashimi, Italian antipasto, gourmet sliders, bespoke street tacos, and more. Your taste buds will go wild on this culinary journey throughout Hillcrest! Tickets: earlybird, $30; day of event, $35. Two pick up locations to choose from: Rite-Aid or Rich's San Diego. Look for the Taste of Hillcrest shuttle. bit.ly/2OXiss6

SDGMC Presents: ‘Motown’ — The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus presents “Motown: The Music + The Legends.” Join their nearly 200 singers and dancers for music that roared out of Detroit and took a nation by storm. They’ll be at the Civic Theatre, playing some of your favorite classics from superstars like Stevie Wonder,

Diana Ross & the Supremes, Lionel Richie, Gladys Knight & the Pips and the Jackson 5. Three shows over two days, April 13-14. Tickets start at $27. bit.ly/2FR0ovU Walking tour of LGBTQ history of Hillcrest — Join Lambda Archives of San Diego and learn the fascinating story of the people and events that made Hillcrest San Diego's gayborhood! Plus bonus material, including learning where to hitch your horse in Hillcrest, the secret sunken garden, why the ostrich is the symbol of University Heights, and why Sears’ departure from Hillcrest helped make the neighborhood gay! Tickets: Members: $20, non-members $25. 10:30 a.m.-12:45 p.m. 4545 Park Blvd., Ste 104. bit.ly/2UNJK9C

Wednesday, April 17

FilmOut San Diego — Celebrate the 20th anniversary of Jason Shafer's modern-day classic comedy "Trick," with Director Jim Fall in attendance for a Q&A session. "Trick" follows Gabriel (Christian Campbell), an aspiring Broadway musical writer, who meets Mark (J.P. Pitoc), a muscled stripper who picks him up on the subway. They spend the night trying to find somewhere to be alone, but turns out to be a difficult task as they run into one conflict after another. Hillcrest Landmark Theatre. 7 p.m. $10. 3965 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2U2FXRD

Friday, April 19

Sunday, April 14

SpeakUp5K — Join us for the fourth SpeakUp5K San Diego! This is a fun, family-friendly event designed by Cameron Gallagher to help eliminate the stigma associated with teen depression and anxiety. Whether you run, walk, stroll or volunteer, we want you to "SpeakUp" with us. A portion of the race proceeds will benefit the mental health initiatives of Rady Children’s Hospital. 8:30-11 a.m. Embarcadero Marina Park South, 200 Marina Park Way. bit. ly/2ucQEXk The 2019 Royale Gala — Join us as the community honors Prince Royale Steven Blocker and Princess Royale Jessica D'Nalga and invest the 47th Reign of the Imperial Court de San Diego. Rich's San Diego. Doors open at 4 p.m. Investitures 5 p.m. Royale Gala 6 p.m. $25. bit. ly/2Gbt0Bp

OUT at the Park — Join San Diego Pride as they team up with the San Diego Padres for Out at the Park on Friday, April 19 at Petco Park. Grab your friends, family and rainbows as we prepare to enjoy an exciting evening of entertainment and baseball when the Padres take on the Cincinnati Reds at 7:10 p.m. Arrive early and enjoy the pre-game "Tailgate Party,” a happy-hour event in their VIP space from 4:30-7 p.m. in Park at the Park, in conjunction with CocktailFest presented by Southwest Airlines. Then, take your seat with the group as they watch the San Diego Gay Men's Chorus, San Diego Women's Chorus and San Diego Pride and Padres staff perform the national anthem together on the field. Your Out at the Park ticket purchase includes a seat in Pride’s Out at the Park section, a commemorative Out at the Park Padres hat, $5 donation to San Diego Pride and access to the pre-game VIP space in Park at the Park (food and drinks not included). $25. 100 Park Blvd. atmlb.com/2GaynR2

Sunday, April 21

Easter Sunday Easter Egg Hunt – The Imperial Court de San Diego is holding its 17th Annual Easter Egg Hunt at Trolley Barn Park. This event served more than 600 children last year and includes an egg hunt, Easter baskets, bike raffle, popcorn, snow cones, juices, a DJ and a special appearance by the Easter Bunny. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Registration begins at 11 a.m. Presentation at 1 p.m. Corner of Florida Street and Adams Avenue. The Imperial Court is still looking for donations of Easter baskets for ages 1-12. Further info: 619-288-1183.

Thursday, April 25

LGBTs in the News with Thom Senzee — “Spectator or Star Player: We Can all Help End Bullying in Sports,” featuring professional hockey's only player to come out as a gay man, former OHL superstar, Brock McGillis. The forum will be streamed online in front of a live audience via Facebook Live on LGBTs In The News FB homepage. This seminal conversation will focus on ways to end anti-LGBTQ bullying where it usually begins: on school playgrounds, in middle school and high school locker rooms, on athletic fields, ice rinks, soccer pitches and various ball courts. Co-headliner is pro-golf and human-rights phenom Maya Reddy — and also featuring one of San Diego's favorite sons, uber trans-rights advocate and gifted gymnast, Sam Moehlig. Free with RSVP: email your name and number of guests to info@ lgbtsinthenews.com. Gossip Grill. 6:30-9:30 p.m. 1220 University Ave. bit.ly/2UDJdnC.t

QSyndicate.com

Q Q PUZZLE PUZZLE

solution on page 17

AUTO EROTICISM

DOWN

ACROSS

1 Start of a quote by Amanita on “Sens8” 4 Kate McKinnon bits on “SNL” 9 More of the quote 12 “___ your pardon!” 14 Like sex with a historian? 15 Like the Indy 500? 16 “Zami: A New Spelling of My ___” 17 Former hotelier Helmsley 18 Nabor's branch, on TV 19 More of the quote 22 Went lickety-split 23 Consenting votes 24 International agreement 27 Pool parties? 31 Fagged out 32 Come together 35 Sound of three men in a tub 36 Besides that

Saturday, April 20

Mariam's Tea Party — “Mariam's Tea Party: Ladies of Rock” features Mariam T, Evely Rose, Glitz Glam, Bebe Gunn, Gro Tesqua and Kevi Kev for a comedy night of drag entertainment at Urban MO's Bar and Grill. $10. Doors open at 7 p.m., show starts at 8:30 p.m. 308 University Ave. bit.ly/2WXqXX1

37 Hotties 39 Activist Clare Boothe ___ 40 '70s org. of kidnappers 41 Like Trump's ego 43 k. d. lang's “Big Boned ___” 44 More of the quote 47 Hub-to-rim lines 48 Author Crowley and others 49 End of the quote 53 Moby Dick chaser 56 Ballet rail 57 Added stipulations 61 Time that drags 62 Rampagers go on it 63 Big top barker 64 Cheese for Ms. van de Kamp? 65 Goes public 66 “Hair's""___ to Be Hard”

1 Brief amount of secs? 2 Israeli statesman 3 DeGeneres voice role 4 Like one's nuts, perhaps 5 Rub the right way 6 Party to 7 Jessica of "Fried Green Tomatoes" 8 Log Cabin lists 9 Job for Burr's Mason 10 Zenith 11 B'way locale 13 Forget to use the KY? 15 Lyricist Bill of “Side Show” fame 20 Still getting around 21 Mouthful for a stallion 24 Blows away 25 Where to find Norma Bates 26 One of a nice pair of melons 28 Chewy candy 29 Wilde with a statuette?

30 “A Boy Named Sue” writer Silverstein 32 Whipping boy 33 Vet, of a sort, for short 34 Son of Eric the Red 37 Gay nocturnal flyer? 38 Enjoys the bedroom, perhaps 41 Gladly, old-style 42 Airline to Ben Gurion 45 Safe to swallow 46 Line of Todd Oldham clothing? 50 Part of APR 51 Pitcher Hershiser 52 Russian river 53 Vestment for Mychal Judge 54 Heston's “Ben ___” 55 Disney prince 58 Three R's supporter 59 Article of Marlene Dietrich 60 Like a cunning linguist

FEATURE

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 12

DEREK CHAD

are the absolute best thing that happened to us. Hudson likes playing soccer, baseball, PlayStation, and learning about anything anyone will

Derek Chad Photography specializes in portraits. (Photo by Derek Chad Photography)

MICHAEL KIMMEL Psychotherapist Author of "Life Beyond Therapy" in Gay San Diego 5100 Marlborough Drive San Diego CA 92116 (619)955-3311 www.LifeBeyondTherapy.com

take the time to teach him. Logan likes baseball, soccer, PlayStation, iPads, and really enjoys anything as long as he has friends and family around. The twins are in first grade and love school. They have tons of friends and like camping and having a good time, laughing hysterically at any chance they get. My husband is Clint and he is successful in his marketing and technology career. We are so lucky to have his patience and kindness. The twins are lucky to have him for a daddy. The twins call me Dad and him Daddy. We are the luckiest Dads in the whole world to have the kindest cutest little guys ever. How do people commission your work?

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019 Most people that inquiry for a portrait session are from google searches or referrals. Everything is available on my website at derekchad. com. Clients inquire, we chat on the phone, and take it from there. I commission only a small number of portrait sessions each year to keep me interested, creative, and motivated to be the best portrait photographer I can be. Doing so also allows me to spend most of time with my husband and the kids. They keep me busy with camping trips, vacations, school, baseball and soccer games. Anything else you would like to say? Everyone is a photographer or knows one, am I

right? It is a challenging career and I am fortunate to do only the sessions I want to do with people that I want to shoot with. I am incredibly thankful for my family and everyone who has helped me pursue this passion in such a crowded field. To my clients, all of which I consider my friends, thank you! I am always honored to be chosen as your photographer. I am super proud to be a part of and serve the LGBTQ community doing what I love here in sunny San Diego! Visit www.derekchad.com to see his portfolio and contact information. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.t

LIFESTYLE

GAY SAN DIEGO April 12-28, 2019

Five problems with living in the future By Mikey Rox We all like to daydream about what the future may hold, but when those prospects consume your thoughts more than the present, there’s a real risk of living your own mental and emotional nightmare. Make a conscious effort to enjoy the here and now by recognizing these problems with over thinking life’s uncertainties.

1. You can’t enjoy the present How will you ever find success and happiness in the future if you can’t enjoy right now? It’s a classic catch-22. Because focusing on tomorrow today won’t end as long as you live since as long as you live, there will always be today and tomorrow. Plan for the future, sure, but don’t let the what-ifs take away from your enjoyment of the present.

You get one shot at today, and you’ll never get it again. 2. It can destroy your relationships I’ve been cheated on in the past by guys who’ve told me how much they love me, who were affectionate, who genuinely enjoyed spending time with me — but that didn’t stop them from lying and stepping out. The effect of that behavior makes it harder to build new, healthier relationships, because I often worry if the next guy will do the same in the future — and if I’m constantly sleuthing for problems, problems will arise. I’ve personally found that the only way for me to keep myself in check in this regard is with therapy: talking with someone regularly about my

gay-sd.com doubts, fears, and ultimately the reinforcement of my own self-worth (I’m better off being single than letting a cheater control my emotions), and I recommend seeking professional help if you’re also feeling lonely in this world. 3. The anxiety it can cause you will make you miserable If you’re worrying about the future, you’re probably not concentrating on all the wonderful possibilities it holds. Instead, human nature is honing in on everything that can go wrong, leading to stress and anxiety. There have been times in my own life where my pessimism about what hasn’t even happened yet has physically debilitated me to the point that I can’t get out of bed. I do find solace in a daily routine and checklist, however, that firmly keeps me moving at today’s pace instead of tomorrow’s. 4. Worrying about it can affect what good may come There are amazing things ahead for you, but your endless apprehension about the future can and will affect what’s to come. Every decision we make sets the foundation for what’s next, and you’re doing yourself a disservice (perhaps lifelong) by allowing negativity to cloud your judgment. This isn’t to say that you should rest on your laurels and let the world dictate what happens to you, but also don’t count yourself out before the countdown is done.

(www.canstockphoto.com)

5. It’s out of your control You are only one tiny influence on your future. The rest — all the people and events that live right outside your door — have much greater impact, and there’s no way you can control it. So don’t try to. Live your best in-the-moment life and let nature take its course with your hands on the wheel. You never know where you’ll end up — and that’s the best part. —Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @ mikeyrox. (Graphic by www. CanStockPhoto.com)t

San Diego’s LGBT News source Volume 9 Issue 6 March 16-29, 2018

gay-sd.com

Vote for your favorites Page 16

2 NEWS

Candidate Malbrough speaks, Nordstrom drops out

BEATING THE ODDS

Dockless bikes in Hillcrest

q INTERVIEW

By William E. Kelly Editor’s Note: This is the second in a three-part series. Read the first in the series online at bit.ly/2tGWqD9. On June 5, San Diego County will hold primary elections for the following seats: county board of supervisors; county assessor/ recorder/county clerk; county treasurer/tax collector;

Liz Carmouche, a 125-pound bantamweigh t women's MMA fighter, is ranked No. (Courtesy of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu) 6 in the world.

Former Christian rocker comes out

First openly lesbian fighter makes Albert H. Fulcher | Editor In 2010, when Liz Carmouche decided she wanted to compete in the MMA (mixed martial arts) professionally, she did so with a “head on” approach. She was

i THEATER

her way to the top of MMA rankings

told it would take a year or more of training before she ever saw the ring. But the veteran Marine Corps aviation electrician beat the odds, getting her first chance to fight professionally within four months of starting her training.

Now after 11 wins and six losses, Carmouche is currently the No. 6 ranked 125-pound bantamweight women’s MMA fighter in the world.

see MMA, pg 11

Homelessness in the LGBTQ comm unity

Mayor brings interfaith discussion Albert H. Fulcher | Editor

OnStage Playhouse's "Spike Heels"

DINING

Magic with cast iron

Index Opinion

Classifieds

Calendar

Puzzle

The Interfaith Shelter Network (ISN) has been an effective program for the homeless throughout San Diego County, so far helping 8,000 homeless individuals gain access to resources and services to get their lives back on track. San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer joined the (ISN) in asking LGBT-friendly congregations to join the network and open their doors to homeless individuals at the ISN Summit on March 5 at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral. “We know there are a number of LGBTQ individuals experiencing homelessness and they need our help. That’s why we are asking LGBTQ-friendly congregations, who understand their needs, to join our care network and provide a temporary place for them to begin turning their lives around,” said Faulconer in a press release.

to LGBT–affirming congregations

Candidate Ken Malbrough

(l to r) ISN Summit panelists, The Very Rev. Penny Bridges, Trisha Brereton, Fernando Lopez, Gary Owen, and Jonathan Herrera (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

The ISN Summit discussion addressing the summit. “This panel consisted of The Very is a network that works and Rev. Penny Bridges, dean, with your help and participaSt. Paul’s Cathedral; Trisha tion, I think you will see the Brereton, ISN executive dibenefits in so many ways. That rector; Fernando Lopez, San is why I am optimistic about Diego LGBT Pride executive our opportunities to begin makdirector; Gary Owen, ISN voling a real difference.” unteer; and Jonathan Herrera, Faulconer said that combatsenior advisor on homelessne ss ting homelessness is about crecoordination for the city of San ating that safe space for those Diego. in need, regardless of someone’s “You all represent the fabrace, color, religion, gender, sexric of our city for wanting to ual orientation, national origin, do the right thing and helpage or disabilities. ing people get back on their feet,” Faulconer said when see ISN,

● Opening statement “The county has $2 billion in reserve tax dollars just floating in a cloud of unknown use by county supervisors,” Malbrough said. He said he pledges to “seek community input” on how these reserve tax dollars can best be utilized and would like to see them invested in “chronically neglected or underfunded areas,” such as housing and public safety in underserved communities. “My priority is reducing our homelessness epidemic and addressing this issue region-wide,” he said. “Providing access to health and human services is the primary and more affordable method to avoid the pathway to homelessness and incarceration.”

pg 15

Editorial/Letters

see Candidates, pg 5

Inka’s Bar & Grill

619-961-1960 albert@sdcnn.com

Peruvian Cuisine – A Latin Experience

Advertising 619-961-1958 mike@sdcnn.com

www.sdcnn.com

district attorney; county sheriff; county board of education members; community college district members; and superior court judges. In the first of this series, I spoke to Omar Passons and Lori Saldana, two of the six candidates I interviewed who wish to represent District 4 on the San Diego County board of supervisors . Each candidate I spoke to agreed to focus on the challenges facing seniors, and was offered the opportunity to state their priorities, objectives, goals and plans to address and achieve those priorities, as well as share their experience and qualifications. Following are the highlights of responses by candidates Ken Malbrough and Marcia Nordstrom.

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