Gay San Diego, Vol. 10, Issue 16, Aug. 2-15, 2019 Best of Gay San Diego special edition by Lgbtqsdnews

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Volume 10 Issue 16

2019

Aug. 2-15, 2019

gay-sd.com

Best of Gay San Diego 2019 special edition

COMMUNITY VOICES

This week with Nicole

5 DINING

‘Believe’

Siblings in the kitchen

BEST OF GAY SAN DIEGO

San Diego Men’s Chorus performs “Welcome to Burlesque” at its “Cher” concert on July 27 at the Balboa Theatre. (Photo by BIG MIKE PHOTOGRAPHY)

Gay Men’s Chorus embodies six generations of Cher

Albert H. Fulcher | Editor With her signature voice, her repertoire of Billboard charts tops and her ability to continuously adapt to a new generation of audience, taking on the musical legacy of Cher is nearly unthinkable for most musicians. But within minutes, the San

And the winners are…

s CALENDAR

Diego Gay Men’s Chorus undeniably established that there is nothing that this ensemble cannot accomplish, with one fierce performance after another. It was a seamless evening of fun, excitement, beauty and awe of musical excellence. With a sold-out opening night, anticipation in the

Balboa Theatre escalated quickly with “If I Could Turn Back Time,” a rousing beginning performance by the chorus. With fervor, the chorus proved that its arrangements of the chorus’s harmonies are still its first and foremost strength and they did not disappoint, with some of the best

synchronized vocals to date. Without doubt, from bass to high tenor, the one voice filling the rafters of the theatre exemplified choral mastery. In tandem with soloists, imaginative choreography and innovative arrangements this was more

see Chorus, pg 24

Uptown’s LGBTQ+ church leaders reclaim Christian faith Kendra Sitton | Uptown News [Editor’s note: This is part two of a series examining the faith of LGBTQ+ people. Part one can be found at bit. ly/2Gh1AK3]

Local events to watch for

Index 6

Opinion Best of Gay San Diego

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In February 2015, Time Magazine reported on a young evangelical leader who had been dropped from his Christian publisher after refusing to sign a statement that he did not “condone, encourage or accept the homosexual lifestyle.” The young evangelical Time publicly outed as queer was Brandan Robertson — who is now the lead pastor of Missiongathering Church in North Park. This was not the first time Robertson’s sexuality was discussed in ways he could not control. He was mentored by a prominent ex-gay author

while attending Moody Bible Institute in Chicago who eventually outed him to fellow faculty. His mentor’s hypocrisy spurred Robertson to reevaluate the faith he had held tightly since he converted as a 12-year-old. “Moody deconstructed my entire faith. By the time I graduated, I had gone through reparative therapy because I was forced to. I was outed to the faculty. They tried to expel me four times, not because I was doing drugs or anything fun. It was simply because I was questioning what they believe,” the 27-year-old said. “That made me so uninterested in Christianity's fear of difference.” The Time article was the last time Robertson did not have a say in the narrative about his own life. Since then, he has published four books and become a sought-after

Brandan Robertson in his office at North Park’s Missiongathering Church after the launch of his book “The Gospel of Inclusion” (Photo by Kendra Sitton) commentator regarding LGBTQ+ issues in the church. “That was probably one of the most transformative moments because here I was pushed to the national [and] international spotlight. My sexuality was being talked

about. It was also being critiqued by the most influential religious leaders in the country. [They] came out and wrote opeds against me and did radio shows. The people that I looked

see Queer Costs, pg 3

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

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THE BEATLES’ SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND

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FEATURE

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 1

QUEER COSTS up to growing up were now condemning me,” Robertson said in an interview in his office, which sported rainbow flags and copies of his latest book, “The Gospel of Inclusion.” “At that point, that was when my resiliency really emerged as a calling because I was like, everything in me says I should leave this whole world behind because I can't have my book deals anymore. They're calling me a heretic. They don't want me.” Instead of leaving, Robertson decided to use the platform he was given to “blow up the patriarchy dominating this evangelical world,” he explained with a cheeky smile. He credits his stubbornness as the deciding factor in staying with the religion that once saved his life as an adolescent. Robertson is not the only queer person in Uptown to leave conservative evangelicalism and instead work in a church that accepts and affirms their identity. While each of these queer Christians have found places in churches that go beyond just letting them take up a pew and tithe, the journey there was costly. These church leaders lost community, family, jobs, book deals, homes. Sarah Holly was in high school when she came out to her mom as a lesbian and was kicked out. Luckily, she was able to move in with her dad, but for a year she did not have a relationship with her mother. In that time, her mother reexamined her theology to the point of becoming fully affirming of queer identities. Watching her mother transform into an advocate for LGBTQ+ people in Christian spaces is one of the reasons Holly still has hope that the church can change. “The really terrible history of the relationship between LGBT [people and] the church is devastating — and it doesn't need to be the future,” Holly said in an interview at Kettle & Stone in May. A full 40% of teens who are homeless are part of the LGBTQ+ community. A quarter of those teens were kicked out on the same day they came out to their parents. San Diego Pride Executive Director Fernando Lopez was homeless for part of their youth, and they believe religion was a key factor in why they were left without shelter, which had lasting impacts on their faith. “That experience severed me a lot from my ability to navigate my own faith and spirituality because family [is] usually where your connection to faith comes from,” Lopez said in a phone interview. For Holly, to see her mother accept, embrace and even advocate for her daughter is the dream scenario for any queer person who faces excommunication from their family over their identity. Not everyone changes though. AIDS activist Susan Jester’s mother started a conference promoting conversion therapy at a local Pentecostal church in the wake of Jester coming out.

Conversion therapy, also called reparative therapy, attempts to change someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity. It has been proven to be ineffective and mainstream medical practices dismiss it, partially because of its links to suicide and self-harm among LGBTQ+ people who undergo it. Her mother’s public anti-LGBTQ+ advocacy is one of the reasons Jester left San Diego for New Jersey with plans to never come back. Decades later though, she returned to care for her mother in the last years of her life. Jester says the decision to sacrifice in this way was so she could feel at peace with herself and God, not an attempt to finally receive her mother’s approval. “I really felt the call of God, as we say in my world of Christianity, to go home. As much as I never thought I would ever return to San Diego,” 75-year-old Jester explained over tea at Peet’s Coffee. Jester wonders what her parents would have thought knowing that the child they put out was the one who stayed with them until they died. She left her career as a political advisor to return. By that time, her mother was so riddled with Alzheimer’s there was never any reconciliation between them. “I went from running around with presidents and governors to changing my mom's diapers for a few years. It was an interesting dilemma for them because my mom was completely out of it, so she didn't know. But the very person in their family that they rejected, ended up taking care of both of them until their last breath,” Jester said. The lack of strong ties to her biological family is one of the reasons she sought out a church when she came to San Diego. “We all fall onto hard times. Whether it's emotional or relationship or a job or whatever, you need that family support — especially if you don't have it from your human family. It's really important,” she said. “My heart's desire was to find a church so that I could find fellowship and acceptance in a Christian family.” She was initially drawn to St. Paul’s Cathedral in Bankers Hill when she noticed prominent gay activists in attendance at a Christmas Eve service. Of those who attend St. Paul’s, 46% are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and over two-thirds of the priests at the cathedral are part of the community. “There's a lot of Roman Catholics out there and evangelicals like myself that are really hungering and looking for spiritual fellowship but have been rejected from [the] denomination of our childhood,” Jester said. She is now attending an Episcopal seminary so she can continue her work at the cathedral. Being rejected from a family or church always carries emotional pain, but for those who are employed through a church, their situation can be particularly challenging. RC Haus, who is now the music director at University Christian Church (UCC), was the founder of a fast-growing church in National City and a televangelist headed toward

semi-retirement when his wife confronted him about his sexuality. “After 13 years of marriage and pastoring churches, my wife called me one day and was like, ‘I think you're gay,’” Haus said in a room reserved for music rehearsals at UCC. “I was a conservative Christian by faith and I had never wanted to be gay. I never dreamt about coming out and being separated from my kids.” He had always viewed samesex attraction as an external temptation testing his faith. Identifying as gay was incompatible with his fundamentalist faith. “I couldn’t even say the word when I was a preacher. I didn't preach ever on homosexuality

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019 because I couldn’t even say that word — I was so scared of it,” Haus recalled. In the year following that phone call, he and his wife attempted to make it work. He voluntarily took part in conversion therapy and sought out support groups in a sincere attempt to change his sexual orientation. After months of trying to change himself, the couple decided he was not going to change so the best they could hope for was that Haus never "acted on" his inclinations. A lifetime of self-repression is long. The pair decided to divorce. In the aftermath, Haus said he went from having a house in Palm Springs and Texas to being homeless. He worked three

jobs to try to cobble together child support for his five kids. “I'd lost my church, my reputation, my home, my friends,” Haus said. “It was so surprising to me that people and parishioners that I had loved and pastor and vacationed with just overnight were just gone… I lost everything, I mean literally everything, to where I was crawling into an unused church Sunday school classroom with my kids when I had custody of them — hiding under Sunday school tables to sleep because we had no place to go. It was a really, really difficult time.” Haus faced another setback while trying to rebuild his life. He was attending a United

see Queer Costs, pg 23

TOU Tips Phase 5__SD Community News Network_RUN: 08_01_2019__TRIM: 6.1 x 10.96

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COMMUNITY VOICES

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

LGBT domestic violence Conversations with Nicole Nicole Murray Ramirez

ecently, I received a call that a friend of mine was in the hospital with a broken leg, broken arm, and a very badly beaten face. I was told that he been drunk one night and fell down a flight of stairs and asked if I would go visit him in the hospital because he was very depressed. Anytime that friends stopped by it would cheer him up, so of course I said yes, and went to see him one afternoon. I got this call from my friend's boyfriend of about a year who had recently moved in with him and who I didn't know that well. But he seemed like a nice guy, but I thought he was a bit controlling at times. Both of them were in their early 30’s and had good jobs. When I stopped by the hospital my friend looked really bad and I told him that he looked like he fell off a roof of a building rather than a flight of stairs and he should try and not drink so much. Well out of nowhere in our conversation he started to cry and told me what really happened. He begged me not to tell anyone and then began to tell me this horrible story of how he was in a violent relationship and that his boyfriend was always beating him up. But this time it had gone too far but he still really loved this guy. Though the doctors had asked him if he had really gotten beaten up but he stuck to his

events

story. He then told me he felt this time his boyfriend would really stop beating him up and had promised him he would and was visiting him every day. I couldn't believe my ears and asked him how long had his boyfriend been abusing him and he said for the last four months! He told me that he had told no one and only told me because when he got out of the hospital he wanted them to go to a relationship counselor and if I knew any that were good. Well I then gave him what I call a "coming to Jesus talk" and told him he had to break up with his boyfriend or the next time he could end up in the morgue. He started to cry again and said I just didn't understand that they truly loved each other and that his boyfriend just had a bad temper. He thought a good counselor could help him and he did promise that he would stop beating him up. Well needless to say I got very upset hearing all of this and told him he had to break this relationship off period. To make a long story short, my friend got out of the hospital and still with his boyfriend. They haven't gone to a counselor and I worry about him all the time. But now he refuses to talk about his relationship and says everything is “fine.” LGBT domestic violence is a real issue in our community just as it is in the heterosexual community and there is help out there and counseling. Abusers do not change and once they beat you up they will continue to do so. It never ends well. And sometimes you end up in the

@THECENTER

Community Survey: We want your opinion!

We’ve had a great response to our community-wide survey regarding the future of The San Diego LGBT Community Center – many thanks to all of you who have participated so far. As you may know, the survey is an important part of The Center’s strategic planning process. To do the best future planning possible, we need to hear from as many people as we can to accurately capture the full diversity of ideas and hopes dreams our community has for the future of Our Center. Your voice in this planning process is crucial and will help The Center most effectively serve our community. To participate in The Center’s survey online today in either English or Spanish, use the following links: English: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WPBVTLR Spanish: https://es.surveymonkey.com/r/WH8T6FL

Deadline Extended – Nominations for the Benjamin F. Dillingham, III and Bridget Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor are open through August 9, 2019! Since 2011, our LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor recognizes LGB veterans who served under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and transgender veterans, all with ties to San Diego who have taken the oath to serve our country and have done so with distinction, acting as role models in advancing equality. This year’s LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor Induction Ceremony will take place on Thursday, November 7, 2019, at 6:30 pm at The Center. Nomination form and additional information can be found at thecentersd.org.

hospital or in the morgue. Trust me I know all about abusive relationships. I had one when I was younger and living in Hollywood. If you're in one seek help and don't be afraid to call the police if you need help as they are now trained about LGBT domestic violence when they get such a call. I remain very concerned and afraid for my friend and will continue to try and help him to see the light. But I fear there nothing I can do ... just be here for him if he ever needs me. If you are in a violent relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE. It has resources locally in San Diego that also protect those who suffer from LGBT domestic violence. —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the “Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest” by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2. Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this column are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of Gay San Diego and/or its parent company, San Diego Community News Network (SDCNN). The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages. The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

facebook.com/At.The.Center

Thursday, August 22

Town Hall For The Black LGBTQ Community 6-7:30 pm, The Center As part of The Center’s plan to get input for our strategic plan in order to better serve our community, we’d like to specially invite you to an upcoming Town Hall for the Black LGBTQ Community. This event is aimed at centering Black LGBTQ voices within our community as an opportunity for The Center’s leadership and strategic planning committee to listen to the community and collect feedback on how we can better serve the Black LGBTQ community. This special evening is co-sponsored by The Gender Phluid Collective: PoC LGBTQ+Support, San Diego Black LGBTQ Coalition and Unity Fellowship Church Movement. While all are invited to attend, Black LGBTQ voices and their families’ will be centered! Please join – dinner and refreshments will be provided. For more information, visit facebook.com/events/423293598526515/

Saturday, Sept 28

AIDS Walk & Run San Diego registration is now open! Please join us, and more than 8,000 dedicated San Diegans, as we come together for San Diego’s 30th annual AIDS Walk & Run San Diego, the largest HIV/AIDS fundraiser in San Diego County. With your support, we hope that more people than ever will register for this inspiring community event. There are currently more than 18,000 people living with HIV/AIDS in San Diego County. By participating in AIDS Walk & Run San Diego, you’ll be generating vital support for local organizations that serve those living with HIV. Register today at www.aidswalksd.org and join us!

gay-sd.com

I don’t want to get older

(www.canstockphoto.com)

Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel Dear Michael: I don’t want to get older. I look at old gay men and I don’t like what I see. I don’t want to die young (I’m 29) but I also don’t want to age. Already I see younger guys in their early 20s and feel that I’m on my way out. Who’s going to want me in 10 or 20 years? The woman who cuts my hair is having a Botox party: should I go? It says on one of your Facebook posts that you’re 66. As an old gay guy, are you happy with yourself? If so, how did you manage it? Thanks, Terrified to Get Older Dear TTGO: Sure, you can go to a Botox party. But, why are you so afraid to have some wrinkles? What about being older terrifies you so much? If you use sunscreen and take reasonable care of yourself, you’ll probably age quite nicely and gradually. This will give you time to make peace with your body as it changes. Can you learn to love yourself at every age? If you can’t, you’re likely to be fighting every physical change tooth and nail. Who’s going to want you in 10 or 20 years? Look around at your peers. Hopefully, when you’re all 40 or 50, you’ll still find each other attractive. It helps a lot to like yourself and enjoy your own company. Very few of us are extremely beautiful. If you are, good for you! I hope you’re enjoying the hell out of it! Consider, however, all your other good qualities and develop them, too. It’s very hard to sustain the body/skin/face of a 20-year-old, but you can develop your personality, intelligence, kindness, compassion, wisdom, flexibility and sense of humor until your last breath. How do I feel as an old gay guy? Most of the time, I’m pretty happy: grateful for my good health, cozy home, friends I love and work that I truly enjoy. That said, this body is definitely changing! On a good day, the changes are OK with me. On a rough day, the changes make me sigh and remember how I used to be. Gratitude helps me refocus on what’s going well and ignore the things I can’t do anything about. I go regularly

to the gym and yoga classes, but I go because it makes ME feel good. How did I manage it? I had a lot of wild adventures in my 20s and 30s. Traveling around Europe, Egypt, Yugoslavia and the Soviet Union, sleeping in youth hostels, hitchhiking, enjoying a very active sex life, working odd jobs in different countries and having lots of new experiences. I didn’t wait until retirement to travel and have fun. I suggest the same to you: enjoy your life NOW so you don’t have regrets later. For example, during the years when I lived in New York, Paris and London, I used to go to work, come home around 6 p.m., sleep until 11 p.m., go out to clubs with my friends, come home between 3 a.m., sleep some more and go to work the next day. I did this three to five nights a week. I was in my 20s and 30s and had lots of energy. Needless to say, I could never pull this off now. And that’s OK: I lived that way when if felt right; I live quite differently today. In over 50 years of working, I’ve had several careers: writer/ psychotherapist is the most recent. I enjoyed my previous careers, too — each one taught me something useful: singing in nightclubs taught me how to be comfortable in front of a crowd; being a personal shopper I learned a lot about psychology; and by teaching fashion merchandising at the Fashion Institute of Technology (in NYC), I got good at communicating ideas to large groups of people. Life can become richer and more rewarding as we grow older, wiser and truer to ourselves. Our work, friends and interests change as we do. Getting older can be really wonderful, if you’re willing to enjoy each step on the path … and when in doubt: try saying this to yourself, “I am willing to love myself and enjoy my life at every age” and see what happens! — Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com. Graphic by www. CanStockPhoto.com)

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Sisterly love Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr.

t was the untimely passing of her beloved sister that prompted Emily Green Lake to pursue a lifelong dream of opening a restaurant, which meant leaving her career as a high school literacy teacher. Given the siblings’ mutual passion for pizza, the establishment would pay homage to Kate Green with assorted pizzas named after some of her favorite TV show characters. And it would greet with a charming ambiance loaded with framed family photos. Sisters Pizza emerged in early June after nearly two years in the making. It occupies a 1930s-era building on a quaint corner at Fourth and Brookes avenues. The ample, canopied patio in front feels remarkably Parisian while the interior strikes a Mid-Century design with its curved-back dining chairs and kitchen subway tiles. Green Lake runs the show with her husband Trevor Lake, who applies his eye for detail to dough-making and overseeing the kitchen. Aside from pizzas, which are sold by the slice and in sizes ranging from 14 to 20 inches, the menu extends to home-style Italian dishes similar to what the Green family enjoyed regularly at a restaurant called Garden Pizza in their native New Jersey. “I tried to model Sisters Pizza after that,” she said while citing the enthusiastic welcome Hillcrest has given her venture. She also noted that on the

first Saturday of every month, from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. beginning Aug. 3, the pizzeria will host a “drag story hour” on the patio. It will feature Miss Oona Upland reading children’s books to kids, during which the tykes can savor $1.50 slices as their parents and guardians sip on $6 mimosas. I visited for lunch with a friend who shares my backEast roots as well as my persnickety standards on Italian comfort food. We hit a winner right off the bat with the soup du jour, a Toscano-style pottage that captivates with crumbled sausage, potatoes, kale, fresh thyme, chicken broth and a splash of cream. It’s available for a few consecutive days every other week and shouldn’t be ignored. In our climactic buildup to a couple of sandwiches and several pizza slices, we opted for a Caesar salad made with charred romaine. Sisters brings the salad back to its glory days with anchovies, which played well in the company of shaved Parmesan and garlic croutons. A dish of fried calamari was jazzed up with Fresno chilis and Kalamata olives. The only problem was that the rings and tentacles ranged from tough to tender, and the batter was a bit heavy. The meatballs are of the Italian-American variety you’ll find throughout the Northeast, blending ground beef, pork and veal. We enjoyed them in a sesame hoagie roll and beneath a mantle of melted mozzarella and trusty marinara sauce. They’re also available with spaghetti or a la carte. An eggplant Parmesan sandwich using the same roll

DINING

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

Sisters Pizza 3603 Fourth Ave. (Hillcrest) 619-255-4200 sisterspizzasd.com Prices: Salads and appetizers $8 to $14 Soups, $7; sandwiches, $11.50 to $14 Entrees, $15 to $17 Signature pizzas, $16 to $28 Pizza slices, $3 to $3.50 was equally commendable. The sliced eggplant was neither bitter or soggy—pitfalls that result from improper cooking. This was prepared just right, thus offering that elusive tinge of sweetness that further enhanced the red sauce. There are 10 signature pizzas. All of them are available in fairly large slices. The choices are playfully named in Kate’s honor. The thick-crust “Sophia Petrillo,” for example, is a Sicilian-style pie topped simply with mozzarella and red sauce. It beckons to the character who played Dorothy’s mother on The Golden Girls sitcom. “Kate loved that show,” noted Green Lake while pointing to the sauce-less “Uncle Jesse” pizza topped with olive oil, mozzarella, ricotta and fresh basil. It reflects the namesake character from Full House, another TV show Kate enjoyed. We shared four different slices by cutting each in half. The regular pepperoni pizza lived up to those we grew up with in Buffalo, N.Y., thanks to the small cup-shaped pepperoni containing modicums of their own precious, flavorful grease. The “Rooftop BBQ” is the best barbecue chicken pizza I’ve had, considering I was never a

Assorted slices that were cut in half

Grilled Caesar salad

Extra-comforting Toscano soup Meatball sub sandwich

Owners Emily Green Lake and her husband, Trevor (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) big fan of such zany toppings introduced decades ago by California Pizza Kitchen. Here, the tangy barbecue sauce was applied lightly over grilled chicken breast, mozzarella, fresh cilantro, and red onions. Everything jived. My aversion to goat cheese had me skipping over the O’Becian, which is topped also with white sauce, mushrooms and pesto. But my friend gave it a firm thumbs up, noting that no one ingredient overpowered the other. In comparison, the aforementioned Uncle Jesse was drier and more understated in flavor. But that’s exactly what I expect from this type of white pizza, which sings to red pepper flakes and some type of dipping liquid on the side, such as olive oil or marinara. Regardless of toppings,

Sisters puts forth an impressive pizza crust that verges on the thin side. It offers both crunch and chew, not to mention a discernible yeast flavor—a common missing element that drives us East Coast transplants into squawking hissy fits. Draft beer and California wines are available. In addition, happy hour is held from 4 to 7 p.m., Monday through Friday, when appetizers are $3 off, select draft beers are $5 each, and wines sell for $6 per glass. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at fsabatini@san.rr.com.

OPINION

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

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Changing how we age with HIV Positive Thoughts: By Theo Smart When the dashing and magnificently bearded Dr. Giovanni Guaraldi took to the stage at last fall’s HIV and Aging conference in New York City, and described a nearly 100-year-old person living with HIV, I was more than a bit skeptical. Not of the researcher — he’s done some of the most brilliant research on aging with HIV. Guaraldi also advocates a “rethink” of care services provided for people living with HIV as we age, particularly now that about half of us are over 50 — and by 2030, as many as 40% of us will have reached the age of 65. Rather than our routine HIV care, we increasingly need comprehensive multidisciplinary services to match our more complex needs. Even in middle age, we need a more aggressive approach to screening, diagnosis, and management of many conditions associated with aging. The firebrand activist Jules Levin of the National AIDS Treatment Advocacy Project (NATAP) has been broadcasting this message for years now — sounding the alarm that we, the aging HIV community, are headed for a services gap. Based upon study after study documenting rates of frailty, aging-related complications, and disability among people living with HIV that are much higher than what is seen in people of the same chronological age in the general population, he believes that HIV care systems are totally unprepared to provide the services many of us will need. His warnings seem to be falling on deaf ears, due at least partly to ageism and denial. People don’t like to think about all the ailments associated with “growing old.” Quite possibly, there is some measure of survivor’s guilt as well. After all, when we received our diagnoses, many of us never expected to even make it to 50 (with the exception of a growing number of us who weren’t diagnosed until later in life). We’re still kicking — why should we be complaining about the natural aging process?

But it does not seem to be entirely natural. First, there’s all the damage that HIV does to the body: our brain, our gut, our other organs such as the heart and the immune system — both before we can get onto treatment, and then due to chronic inflammation caused by low levels of ongoing replication, co-infections (such as CMV and hepatitis), and other factors. In addition, the long-term survivors among us are often dealing with the legacy effects of the older, more toxic antiretrovirals. Even the new ones have side effects, some of them insidious, subtly altering our metabolism and even damaging our mitochondria — the energy generators of our cells. On top of that, many of us have had rough lives emotionally, punctuated by loss, dealing with structural inequalities and bias, internalized stigma, and depression. Consequently, we haven’t always taken the best care of ourselves, and some of our lifestyle habits are self-destructive. It’s no wonder that many of us are showing more wear and tear than is usual for our age. In fact, several years back, Dr. Guaraldi published a study showing many of the complications of aging seemed to be happening 10-15 years early in people living with HIV. That said, other studies have shown that many going to the larger HIV clinics and on the current antiretrovirals do pretty well compared to other middle-aged people, at least over the short term. And there’s a good explanation for this — simply being in routine care may allow well-trained clinicians to detect problems early and nip them in the bud. Which brings me back to this 99-year-old gentleman from Lisbon, Portugal. My initial instinct was to dismiss him as an anomaly. A case of one. But the more I thought about it, it was not so simple. He was very ill when he was diagnosed at the age of 84 — very late, with a nadir CD4 count below 100 — but has since recovered and seems to have flourished with good attentive care. There’s a good report on him online (bit.ly/99year-old), with a cute video clip of Dr. Guaraldi at bit.ly/ Guaraldi-clip. At the HIV and aging conference, Dr. Guaraldi

EDITOR Albert H. Fulcher (619) 961-1960 albert@sdcnn.om

SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958 mike@sdcnn.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Michael Kimmel Nicole Murray Ramirez Frank Sabatini Jr. Kendra Sitton Theo Smart

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CONTRIBUTOR www.canstockphoto.com WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA Albert Fulcher albert@sdcnn.com COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 accounting@sdcnn.com

identified factors that could help explain why this man has done so well. First, he lives in a healthy environment. He’s never had financial difficulties (and the related stress), and he has assistance from a loving 70-year-old daughter who lives next door. Then there’s that Mediterranean lifestyle and diet, with good cardio every day walking up and down the hills of Lisbon, and, I would imagine, plenty of olives and fish. Dr. Guaraldi referred to these factors collectively as “social protection,” which based upon his research in a larger HIV-positive cohort, might be used to help predict which people might be at greater risk of frailty and age-related illness. But lest one think that such outcomes might be limited to those lucky enough to live in Portugal, another study presented by Dr. Nancy Mayo of McGill University at the HIV and Aging conference found similar factors associated with “aging well” in a cohort of over 800 Canadians living with HIV. Looking specifically at frailty, the study found that some health conditions greatly increased the risk, such as having lung disease, arthritis, or cognitive problems. But about 14% of the cohort seemed to be aging particularly well. Among modifiable factors associated with greater resilience were being physically active, not smoking, not suffering from stigma, having friends and family (not being lonely), and keeping mentally fit. “You have a big role in how you are going to age,” Dr. Todd Brown of Johns Hopkins University said at another meeting organized by NATAP’s Jules Levin last fall in New York, in a talk emphasizing what people could do for themselves to build resilience and to maintain a good quality of life as they age. I, for one, would be happy to live in good health well into my 70s and later, as my older siblings are doing. In my own life, I’ve seen how changing my diet and losing a significant amount of weight has profoundly improved my quality of health — and even my concentration. Building resilience is something we have to do both on a personal level but also in our communities and in our health

systems. At the personal level, now is not the time to be burying our heads in the sand. Knowledge is power. Many of us will recall how, back before antiretrovirals made HIV into a chronic manageable condition, we had to learn all about the various opportunistic infections and drug development — often becoming more aware of the scientific research than our own doctors. This issue takes that approach, reviewing what is currently known about the health risks we face — we need to know what our health care providers should be watching for, and what steps we can take to improve the way we age. One of the challenges is that access to quality care for aging people with HIV is uneven in this country. There is a lack of trained skilled providers and services prepared to deal with consequences of these complications and health emergencies in this population. Many of our HIV clinicians simply aren’t trained in the nuances of providing care for people who are aging, and it can be extremely difficult to get timely referrals to a specialist when we need one. Efforts are underway to address the services gap that require our communities’ full support (see “Addressing the Needs of Older Adults Living with HIV” in the Spring 2019 issue of Positively Aware). For many of us, the care we receive is limited by what Medicaid or our insurance plans will cover — and this needs to be as much a part of our national activist agenda as the current efforts around prevention. We can also build resilience for aging well into the health system and

OPINIONS/LETTERS: Gay San Diego encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email either to albert@sdcnn.com and include your phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff. SUBMISSIONS/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@sdcnn.com. For breaking news and investigative story ideas contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2019 San Diego Community News Network

communities through our activism. We also focus on a few of the activists who are each responding in their own way to scale up research and improve the service package and psychosocial support for our communities — and to improve elder care in general. “It’s not just HIV. We don’t take care of our older people and that is a problem across the country and many parts of the world,” said Dr. David Wohl of the University of North Carolina at NATAP’s forum. “The problems with age transcend any one disease. But HIV is really unique in many ways. HIV and the epidemic forced the FDA to think harder and differently about how to approve drugs. The epidemic helped us think about how, as communities, to organize to push politicians and policy makers to push drug companies to do the things they ought to do. There are many examples in medicine where HIV has leapfrogged us and helped other disease states. And maybe it is HIV that can help us revolutionize geriatrics because we need a different model for how we take care of, and how we consider, older people. We can do that. We are the tip of the spear.” —Theo Smart is a contributing writer for Positively Aware; this article first appeared in the Spring 2019 issue of the magazine. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody and Q Syndicate, the LGBT wire service. Visit their websites – http://hivplusmag. com, http://positivelyaware. com, http://poz.com and http://thebody.com – for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.

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community. So, take notice of these winners. You might find a new place for your favorite food, a nonprofit that you never thought of volunteering for, a business that you need or desire. This issue highlights professionals, influencers, servers of the community, food, dining, art and all the other things that make our gay lives fulfilled, fabulous and fun. Consider this not only a guide and a celebration of our winners, but referrals from your peers to trusted organizations and the people behind them that can enrich your life. Congratulations to the winners and all the nominees. Thank you for serving and caring for our community. May your success and your impact on our local LGBT community continue. —SDCNN staff

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DINING & ENTERTAINMENT AMERICAN CUISINE Gold - House of Blues San Diego 1055 Fifth Ave. houseofblues.com/sandiego 619-299-2583 Silver - Crest Cafe 425 Robinson Ave. crestcafe.net 619-295-2510 BAKERY Gold - Bread and Cie 350 University Ave. breadandcie.com | 619-683-9322 Silver - Frost Me Café and Bakery 55 West Date St. frostme.com | 619-287-2253 BAR Gold - #1 Fifth Ave. 3845 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2YdkcAq | 619-299-1911 Silver - Flicks 1017 University Ave. sdflicks.com | 619-297-2056

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BARBEQUE Gold - House of Blues San Diego 1055 Fifth Ave. houseofblues.com/sandiego 619-299-2583

BURGER Gold - House of Blues San Diego 1055 Fifth Ave. houseofblues.com/sandiego 619-299-2583

COMEDY CLUB Gold - Comedy Heights 4590 Park Blvd. comedyheights.com 619-993-3402

Gold - Phil's BBQ 3750 Sports Arena Blvd. philsbbq.net | 619-226-6333

Silver - Burger Lounge 406 W. University Ave. burgerlounge.com | 619-487-1183

Silver - Grand Ole BBQ y Asado 15505 Olde Hwy 80, El Cajon flinnsprings.grandolebbq.com 619-312-0714

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Silver - Martinis Above Fourth Table + Stage 3940 Fourth Ave. ma4sd.com | 619-400-4500

BARTENDER Gold - Charlie @ Pecs Bar 2046 University Ave. pecsbar.com | 619-296-0889

Silver - Baja Betty's 1421 University Ave. bajabettyssd.com | 619-269-8510

Silver - David @ Ortega's | A Mexican Bistro 141 University Ave. ortegas.com | 619-692-4200 BREAKFAST Gold - Café on Park 3831 Park Blvd. cafeonpark.com | 619-293-7275 Silver - Snooze and A.M. Eatery 3940 Fifth Ave. snoozeeatery.com 619-500-3344 BREWERY Gold - Hillcrest Brewing Company 1458 University Ave. hillcrestbrewingcompany.com 619-269-4323 Silver - Stone Brewing Co. 2816 Historic Decatur Road stonebrewing.com 619-269-2100 BRUNCH Gold - Baja Betty's 1421 University Ave. bajabettyssd.com | 619-269-8510 Silver - Great Maple 1451 Washington St. thegreatmaple.com 619-255-2282 BUFFET Gold - Barona Resort & Casino 1932 Wildcat Canyon Road, Lakeside barona.com |619-443-2300 Silver - Valley View Casino & Hotel 16300 Nyemii Pass Place, Valley Center valleyviewcasino.com 760-291-5500

CASINO Gold - Sycuan Casino Resort 5469 Casino Way, El Cajon sycuan.com | 619-445-6002 Silver - Barona Resort & Casino 1932 Wildcat Canyon Road, Lakeside barona.com | 619-443-2300 CATERING Gold - Hanna's Gourmet 2864 Adams Ave. hannasgourmetsd.com 619-280-5600 Silver - Banyan Kitchen + Café 2690 Historic Decatur Road banyankitchensd.com 619-546-0650 CHINESE CUISINE Gold - Hong Kong Restaurant 3871 Fourth Ave. hongkongrestaurantsd.com 619-291-9449 Silver - Dumpling Inn & Shanghai Saloon 4625 Convoy St. dumplinginn.com | 858-268-9638 COCKTAIL Gold - Martinis Above Fourth | Table + Stage 3940 Fourth Ave. ma4sd.com | 619-400-4500 Silver - #1 Fifth Ave. 3845 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2YdkcAq | 619-299-1911 COFFEE SHOP Gold - Lestat's Hillcrest 1041 University Ave. lestats.coffee | 619-564-6616 Silver - Influx Café 3000 Upas St., #103 influxcafe.com | 619-795-0680

COMFORT FOOD Gold - House of Blues San Diego 1055 Fifth Ave. houseofblues.com 619-299-2583 Silver - Crest Café 425 Robinson Ave. crestcafe.net | 619-295-2510 DANCE CLUB Gold - Rich's 1051 University Ave. richssandiego.com 619-295-2195 Silver - Flicks 1017 University Ave. sdflicks.com | 619-297-2056 DELI/SANDWICH Gold - The Deli Llama 3702 Fifth Ave. delillamasd.com | 619-295-4666 Gold - Hillcrest Sandwich Shop & Catering 3780 Fifth Ave., #1 hillcrestsandwich.com 619.293.0247 DESSERT Gold - Extraordinary Desserts 1430 Union St. extraordinarydesserts.com 619-294-7001 Gold - Chocolat 3896 Fifth Ave. chocolat-hillcrest.com 619-574-8500 DINNER Gold - Parma Cucina Italiana 3850 Fifth Ave. parmaitaliankitchen.com 619-543-0049 Gold - insideOUT 1642 University Ave., #100 insideoutsd.com | 619-888-8623 DONUT SHOP Gold - Golden Donut 2360 University Ave. bit.ly/2OfvdBP | 619-298-2352 see Donut Shop, pg 10

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FROM PAGE 9

DONUT SHOP Silver - Donut Bar 631 B St. donutbar.com | 619-255-6360 DRAG QUEEN Gold - Chad Michaels Silver - Remington Scott Kienbusch (Mariam T) DRAG SHOW VENUE Gold - Lips Restaurant 3036 El Cajon Blvd. lipssd.com | 619-295-7900 Silver - Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400 FAMILY RESTAURANT Gold - Hob Nob Hill Restaurant 2271 First Ave. hobnobhill.com | 619-239-8176 Silver - Parma Cucina Italiana 3850 Fifth Ave. parmaitaliankitchen.com 619-543-0049 FARMERS MARKET Gold - Hillcrest Farmers Market 3960 Normal St. hillcrestfarmersmarket.com 619-299-3330

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Silver - Little Italy Mercato Farmers' Market 600 W. Date St. littleitalysd.com/events/mercato 619-233-3901 FEMALE IMPERSONATOR Gold - Chad Michaels Silver - Kickxy Vixen-Styles FINE DINING Gold - Mister A's 2550 Fifth Ave. asrestaurant.com | 619-239-1377 Silver - Trust 3752 Park Blvd. trustrestaurantsd.com 619-795-6901 FIRST DATE Gold - two.seven.eight. 3687 Fifth Ave. concepttwoseveneight.com 619-278-0080 Silver - Jaynes Gastropub 4677 30th St. jaynesgastropub.com 619-563-1011 FOOD SERVER Gold - Dennis @ Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400 Silver - Sunny @ Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400

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GREEK CUISINE Gold - Olympic Café 2310 University Ave. olympiccafesd.com 619-692-9082 Silver - Alexi's Greek Café 3863 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2y2Rurp | 619-297-1777 HAPPY HOUR Gold - Baja Betty's 1421 University Ave. bajabettyssd.com | 619-269-8510 Silver - Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400 HEALTH FOOD STORE Gold - Nutrimart Nutrition Superstore 3854 Fifth Ave. nutrimartusa.com/nutrimart-hillcrest 619-220-6808 Silver - Jimbo's…Naturally! 92 Horton Plaza jimbos.com | 619-308-7755 HEALTHY DINING Gold - LIV Juice Bar and Smoothies 1251 University Ave. bit.ly/2OeB6PK |619-688-3997 Silver - Plumeria Vegetarian Restaurant 661 Park Blvd. myplumeria.com | 619-269-9989 Silver - Freshii freshii.com | 619-323-0723 HOT WINGS Gold - Hillcrest Brewing Company 1458 University Ave. hillcrestbrewingcompany.com 619-269-4323 Silver - Wingstop 3085 University Ave. urbnnorthpark.com 619-255-7300 INDIAN CUISINE Gold - Tandoori Hut 3890 Fifth Ave. tandoorihutsandiego.com 619-295-4488

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Gold - India Palace Banquet & Catering 3960 Fifth Ave. indiapalacehc.com 619-294-8886 Silver - Taste of the Himalayas 1260 University Ave. tasteofthehimalayassandiego.com 619-888-5853 see Italian Cuisine, pg 11

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FROM PAGE 10

Silver - Pete's Seafood and Sandwich 3382 30th St. bostonpetes.com | 619-255-8940

ITALIAN CUISINE Gold - Parma Cucina Italiana 3850 Fifth Ave. parmaitaliankitchen.com 619-543-0049

MARGARITA Gold - Baja Betty's 1421 University Ave. bajabettyssd.com 619-269-8510

ITALIAN CUISINE

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Silver - Miguel's Cocina 2444 San Diego Ave. miguels-cocina.com 619-298-9840 Silver - Ponce's Mexican Restaurant 4050 Adams Ave. poncesrestaurant.com 619-282-4413 see Martini, pg 14

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FROM PAGE 11

Silver - Common Stock 3805 Fifth Ave. eatcommonstock.com 619-738-3425

Silver - two.seven.eight. 3687 Fifth Ave. concepttwoseveneight.com 619-278-0080

MARTINI Gold - Martinis Above Fourth | Table + Stage 3940 Fourth Ave. ma4sd.com | 619-400-4500

Silver - Kairoa Brewing Company 4601 Park Blvd. kairoa.com | 619-295-1355

PLACE FOR A HOOK UP Gold - Club San Diego 3955 Fourth Ave. clubsandiego.com 619-295-0850

MARTINI

Silver - insideOUT 1642 University Ave., #100 insideoutsd.com | 619-888-8623 MEXICAN CUISINE Gold - El Zarape Mexican Eatery 3038 Adams Ave. elzarapeeatery.com 619-794-0358 Silver - Ponce's Mexican Restaurant 4050 Adams Ave. poncesrestaurant.com 619-282-4413 MOVIE THEATER Gold - Landmark's Hillcrest Cinemas 3965 Fifth Ave., #200 landmarktheatres.com 619-298-2904 Silver - The Lot 2620 Truxtun Road thelotent.com |619-566-0069

NIGHT CLUB Gold - Rich's 1051 University Ave. richssandiego.com 619-295-2195 Silver - Flicks 1017 University Ave. sdflicks.com | 619-297-2056 OUTDOOR BAR Gold - Kairoa Brewing Company 4601 Park Blvd. kairoa.com | 619-295-1355 Gold - Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400 Silver - Gossip Grill 1220 University Ave. gossipgrill.com | 619-260-8023 OUTDOOR/PATIO DINING Gold - Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400

Silver - Pecs Bar 2046 University Ave. pecsbar.com | 619-296-0889 PHO/NOODLE HOUSE Gold - Pho Fifth Avenue 3807 Fifth Ave. phofifthavenue.com 619-260-3555 Silver - OB Noodle House & Sake Bar 2218 Cable St. obnoodlehouse.com 619-450-6868 PIZZA Gold - Bronx Pizza 111 Washington St. bronxpizza.com | 619-291-3341 Silver - Filippi's 1747 India St. realcheesepizza.com 619-232-5094

Silver - Kairoa Brewing Company 4601 Park Blvd. kairoa.com | 619-295-1355

POKE Gold - San Diego Poke Company 3533 Adams Ave. sdpokeco.com | 619-501-5960

Silver - Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave. urbanmos.com | 619-491-0400

Silver - The Prado 1549 El Prado cohnrestaurants.com 619-557-9441

NEW RESTAURANT Gold - insideOUT 1642 University Ave., #100 insideoutsd.com | 619-888-8623

PET-FRIENDLY DINING Gold - Kairoa Brewing Company 4601 Park Blvd. kairoa.com | 619-295-1355

NEIGHBORHOOD BAR Gold - #1 Fifth Ave. 3845 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/2YdkcAq | 619-299-1911

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Silver - Poki One N Half 3030 University Ave. onenhalf.com | 858-874-6760

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Gold - Juniper and Ivy 2228 Kettner Blvd. juniperandivy.com 619-269-9036

PRIDE EVENT Gold - San Diego Pride Parade & Festival 3620 30th St. sdpride.org | 619-297-7683

ROMANTIC DINING Gold - Salvatore's Cucina Italiana 750 Front St. salvatoresdowntown.com 619-544-1865

Gold - Mister A's 2550 Fifth Ave. asrestaurant.com | 619-239-1377 see Romantic Dining, pg 15

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FROM PAGE 14

ROMANTIC DINING

SPORTS BAR Gold - Fiesta Cantina 142 University Ave. fiestacantina.net | 619-298-2500

Gold - Parma Cucina Italiana 3850 Fifth Ave. parmaitaliankitchen.com 619-543-0049

Gold - Yard House 1640 Camino del Rio N., Space 157 yardhouse.com | 619-574-0468

ROOFTOP LOUNGE Gold - Kairoa Brewing Company 4601 Park Blvd. kairoa.com | 619-295-1355

STEAKHOUSE Gold - Donovan's Steak and Chop House 570 K St. donovanssteakhouse.com 619-237-9700

Gold - Top of the Bay 1835 Columbia St. glassdoorsd.com/top-of-the-bay 619-564-3755 SALAD Gold - Tender Greens 110 W. Broadway tendergreens.com/locations/ downtown-sd 619-795-2353 Silver - Olympic Café 2310 University Ave. olympiccafesd.com 619-692-9082 SEAFOOD Gold - Mitch's Seafood Point Loma 1403 Scott St. mitchsseafood.com 619-222-8787

WINE BAR Gold - FruitCraft 1477 University Ave. fruitcraft.com | 877-484-6282

Silver - Born and Raised 1909 India St. bornandraisedsteak.com 619-202-4577

Silver - Vino Carta 2161 India St. vinocartasd.com | 619-564-6589

THAI CUISINE Gold - Amarin Thai Cuisine 3843 Richmond St. amarincorp.com | 619-296-6056

SPANISH CUISINE Gold - Cafe Sevilla 4016 Wallace St. barrabarrasaloon.com 619-291-3200

Silver - Evolution Fast Food 2965 Fifth Ave. evolutionfastfood.com |619-550-1818

Silver - Négociant Winery 2419 El Cajon Blvd. negociantwinery.com 619-535-1747

Silver - Sushi Diner 7530 Mesa College Drive, Ste B sushidiner1.com | 858-565-1179

Silver - The Fish Market 750 N. Harbor Drive thefishmarket.com 619-232-3474

Silver - Café Gratitude 1980 Kettner Blvd. cafegratitude.com 619-736-5077

Silver - Red Fox Room and Steakhouse 2223 El Cajon Blvd. redfoxsd.com | 619-297-1313

SUSHI Gold - Wonderful Sushi 1288 University Ave. wonderfulsushihillcrest.com 619-291-0240

Silver - Lotus Thai Cuisine 3761 Sixth Ave. hillcrest.lotusthaisd.com 619-299-8272

BUSINESS & RETAIL ACCOUNTANT Gold - Rowling & Associates 8889 Rio San Diego Drive rowling.com | 619-295-0200 Silver - Abbas Jenson & Cundari 1940 Fifth Ave. ajccpa.com | 619-298-9699 ACUPUNCTURE Gold - Circle of Living Wellness Center 4538 Park Blvd. circleofliving.com | 619-220-0878

Martinis Above Fourth | Table + Stage Silver - Bodhi Massage and Wellness Center 3678 Fourth Ave. bodhimassagesandiego.com 619-274-2744 ADULT BUSINESS Gold - Pleasures and Treasures 2525 University Ave. pleasuresandtreasures.biz 619-822-4280 Silver - Manfest San Diego 1295 University Ave. manfestsd.com | 619-497-1970 ANTIQUES Gold - India Street Antiques 2361 India St. indiastreetantiques.com 619-231-3004 Silver - Mission Gallery Antiques 320 W. Washington St. missiongalleryantiques.com 619-692-3566

APPLIANCE STORE Gold - Appliance Alley 1691 Hancock St. appliancealley.com 619-291-8452 ART GALLERY Gold - Alexander Salazar Fine Art 225 W. Market St. alexandersalazarfineart.com 619-531-8996 Silver - Calypso Collective 502 University Ave. calypsocollective.com 619-228-9459 Silver - Meyer Fine Art Inc. 2400 Kettner Blvd., #104 meyerfineartinc.com 619-358-9512 see Attorney, pg 16

858-800-2405 VOTED # 1 IN GAY SAN DIEGO SHOP ONLINE OR COME VISIT OUR SHOWROOM OF MODERN AND TRANSITIONAL PIECES AT GREAT PRICES. PICKUP, DELIVERY AND INTERIOR DESIGN SERVICES AVAILABLE!

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GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

BEST OF GAY SAN DIEGO 2019 AUTO REPAIR SHOP Gold - Mission Hills Automotive 308 W. Washington St. missionhillsautosd.com 619-299-9367

FROM PAGE 15

ATTORNEY ATTORNEY Gold - Susan Hartman 8880 Rio San Diego Drive, #800 sandiegoduilawyersblog.com

Silver - Hillcrest Smog Test & Auto Repair 3864 First Ave. bit.ly/2GqZQO8 | 619-297-4059 BANK Gold - California Bank and Trust 4305 University Ave. calbanktrust.com | 619-521-4000

619-260-1122 Gold - Rachel Young 101 W. Broadway

Silver - Union Bank 1201 Fifth Ave. unionbank.com | 619-230-4666

rpylaw.com | 619-584-0505 AUTO DEALERSHIP

BARBER Gold - Bear Hair by Chuck Mitchell 4002 Park Blvd., B2 bearhairbychuck.com 619-694-8482

Gold - Marvin K. Brown Auto Center 1441 Camino del Rio South mkb.com | 877-611-6882

Silver - Vince's Barber Shop 2030 India St. littleitalybarbershop.com 619-623-0798 BIKE SHOP Gold - Adams Avenue Bicycles 2602 Adams Ave. aabikes.net | 619-395-8500 Silver - MJ's Cyclery 3841 Park Blvd. mjscyclery.com | 619-228-9220 BILLIARDS Gold - College Billiards 5303 El Cajon Blvd. college-billiards.com 619-582-4550 Gold - On Cue Billiards 8308 Parkway Drive, La Mesa oncuebillardsca.com 619-463-8759

BOUTIQUE Gold - La Loupe Vintage 3337 Adams Ave. laloupevintage.com 619-578-2944

COLLECTIVE Gold - San Diego Recreational Cannabis (SDRC) 1299 Camino del Rio S. sandiegorecreationalcannabis.com 619-906-5546

Silver - Loved & Aesthetics 2910 University Ave. loveand aesthetics.com 619-487-9302

Gold - March and Ash 2835 Camino del Rio S., #100 marchandash.com 619-314-7336

Silver - Sara's Selections 8376 La Mesa Blvd., La Mesa bit.ly/2Swt1nT | 619-464-1714 BRIDAL SHOP Gold - D'Angelo Couture Bridal 4560 Alvarado Canyon Road, Ste 2A dangelocouture.com 619-497-1949

CONSIGNMENT/RESALE Gold - Design Consignment Gallery 8840 Miramar Road designconsignmentgallery.com 858-800-2405 Silver - Consignment Classics 3602 Kurtz St. consignmentclassics.net 619-291-3000

Silver - David's Bridal 980 Camino De La Reina, Ste A davidsbridal.com | 619-220-8008

Silver - Hillcrest Pawnbrokers 3748 Sixth Ave. hillcrestpawn.com | 619-297-1224

CAR WASH Gold - Uptown Carwash 4157 Normal St. uptowncarwashsandiego.com 619-297-9274

COSMETIC SERVICES Gold - Medical Age Management 3911 Normal St. manageyourage.com 619-795-6700

Silver - North Park Car Wash 3419 University Ave. northparkcarwashes.com 619-280-5484 CHIROPRACTOR Gold - Fix Body Group 1010 University Ave., C-203 fixbodygroup.com | 619-295-9791 Silver - Inner Balance Institute 1764 San Diego Ave., #140 innerbalanceinstitute.comv 619-543-9999

Silver - Palmer Skin Body Waxing + Aesthetics 3900 Fifth Ave., Ste 140 palmerskin.com | 619-481-4087 CREDIT UNION Gold - San Diego County Credit Union 502 University Ave. sdccu.com | 877-732-2848 Silver - Mission Federal Credit Union 269 W. Washington S. missionfed.com | 858-524-2850 see Day Spa, pg 17

San Diego Gay Men's Chorus "Jingle"

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Celebrating our 75th Anniversary! 1944 - 2019

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gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 16

DAY SPA DAY SPA Gold - Bodhi Massage and Wellness Center 3678 Fourth Ave. bodhimassagesandiego.com 619-274-2744 Silver - Palmer Skin 3900 Fifth Ave. palmerskin.com | 619-481-4087 Silver - The Knotstop 1080 University Ave. theknotstop.com | 619-296-5668 DENTIST Gold - Dr. Jeff Keeny 1807 Robinson Ave. drkeeny.com | 619-295-1512 Silver - Dr. Andrew Zakarian 3501 Fourth Ave. naturaldentalarts.com 619-574-0900 DERMATOLOGIST Gold - Hillcrest Advanced Aesthetic Dermatology 3737 Fourth Ave. drheimer.com | 619-299-0700 Silver - Dr. Mona Zohdi Mofid 8929 University Center Lane, #202 drmonamofid.com | 619-412-2371 DOCTOR Gold - Daniel J. Bressler, MD 501 Washington St., #705 drdanielbressler.com 619-298-0256 Gold - Janette Gray, MD 3636 Fifth Ave. cbbwbonline.com | 858-454-9771 DRY CLEANER Gold - Hillcrest Cleaners 3702 Sixth Ave. | 619-291-2791 Gold - La Mission Cleaners 105 Washington St. 619-295-4139 Gold - Ogden's Cleaners & Laundry 1294 University Ave. bit.ly/32MfflP | 619-297-1808

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

BEST OF GAY SAN DIEGO 2019 FAVORITE COMMUNITY ACTIVIST Gold - Benny Cartwright Gold - Fernando Lopez sdpride.org/fernando-lopez Silver - Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 2260 El Cajon Blvd., Ste 868 sdsisters.org FAVORITE POLITICIAN Gold - Assembly member Todd Gloria 1350 Front St., Ste 6054 a78.asmdc.org | 619-645-3090 Silver - San Diego County Supervisor Nathan Fletcher 1600 Pacific Highway, Room 335 supervisornathanfletcher.com 619-531-5544 FIGHTING GYM Gold - Title Boxing Club San Diego 2852 University Ave. titleboxingclub.com 619-677-1341 Silver - 10th Planet San Diego Jiu Jitsu 6008 Mission Gorge Road 10thplanetsandieog.com 619-282-5855 FINANCIAL PLANNER Gold - Mary Stockton - Stockton Financial 4365 Executive Drive, Ste #800 marystockton.com 858-623-8945 Silver - Rowling & Associates 8889 Rio San Diego Drive rowling.com | 619-295-0200 FLORIST Gold - Dave's Flower Box 2405 El Cajon Blvd. davesflowerbox.com 619-298-7547 Silver - Green Fresh Florals + Plants 3785 Fourth Ave. greenfreshflorals.com 619-544-0504 FURNITURE STORE Gold - Boomerang for Modern 2475 Kettner Blvd. boomerangformodern.com 619-239-2040

Silver - India Street Antiques 2361 India St. inidastreetantiques.com 619-231-3004 GARDEN SUPPLY Gold - Walter Andersen Nursery 3293, 3642 Enterprise St. walteranderson.com 619-224-8271 Silver - Armstrong Nursery 10320 Friars Road armstronggarden.com 619-563-1433 GYM/WORKOUT STUDIO Gold - Fitness Together 4019 Goldfinch St. fitnesstogether.com/mission-hills 619-794-0014 Silver - Adam Winter Lifestyle 3974 Dove St. adamwinterlifestyle.com 619-981-2326 HAIR SALON Gold - Bear Hair by Chuck 4002 Park Blvd., B2 bearhairbychuck.com 619-694-8482 Silver - Richard Joseph Salon 1717 University Ave. richardjosephs.com 619-542-1144 HARDWARE STORE Gold - Hillcrest Ace Hardware 1003 University Ave. acehardware.com | 619-291-5988 Silver - North Park Hardware 3090 University Ave. bit.ly/2Ya5PwZ | 619-295-2125 HOSPITAL Gold - UCSD 200 W. Arbor Drive health.ucsd.edu | 858-667-7000

Mariam T JEWELER Gold - Stuart Benjamin & Co. Jewelry Designs 7510 Hazard Center Drive, #405 stuartbenjamin.com 619-297-7666

LOCAL COMMUNITY EVENT Gold - San Diego Pride Parade and Festival 3620 30th St. sdpride.org | 619-297-7683 Silver - San Diego Gay Men's Chorus' "Jingle" sdgmc.org | 619-432-2244

Silver - Leo Hamel Fine Jewelers 1851 San Diego Ave., Ste 130 leohamel.com | 619-299-1500

Silver - San Diego Leather Pride sdleatherpride.org

Silver - Jewels on 5th 6975 Fifth Ave., #130 jewelson5th.com | 619-269-5853

see Manicure/Pedicure, pg 18

Silver - Scripps Mercy Hospital 4077 Fifth Ave. bit.ly/32PLQay | 619-294-8111 HOTEL Gold - The Lafayette Hotel 2223 El Cajon Blvd. lafayettehotelsd.com 619-296-2101 Silver - Hotel del Coronado 1500 Orange Ave. Coronado hoteldel.com | 619-522-8082 INSURANCE BROKER Gold - Ronald Ferrero-Pham Farmers Insurance 4682 Iowa St., Ste 202 bit.ly/2Zbo6eA | 619-325-4555

Thank You for Voting For Us! • Best Dinner • Best Italian • Best Romantic Dining • Best Family Restaurant

Gold - Hal Wilson - Farmers Insurance 16516 Bernardo Center Drive, Ste 150 bit.ly/2Y4IMZq | 858-487-4880

Ready for a kick start to a healthier you? Come in for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss our Medical Weight loss Program! Lipolean Injections $25 first time! • Reduce stored body fat • Energy Boost • Faster Metabolism • Free Personal Training and Weight Loss Consultation

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GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

BEST OF GAY SAN DIEGO 2019

gay-sd.com

PET BOARDING/DAYCARE

FROM PAGE 17

Thank you for the votes folks. San Diegans and Camp Run-A-Mutt agree that cage-free is the only way to go. No longer does board = bored. Camp RunA-Mutt created this concept nine years ago with the commitment to letting dogs be dogs. It’s a no brainer when dogs are so easy: they love sun, grass, water (to splash and drink), other dogs, people and no cages. And their humans love our Muttcams, superior customer service, and doing business with people who love dogs. Running this business over the years, we’ve made some amazing friends, both two and four-legged variety, and we appreciate you letting us share in the lives of your pups. Thanks again for your support.

MANICURE PEDICURE MANICURE/PEDICURE Gold - Beauty Lounge 3745 Fifth Ave. hillcrestbeautylounge.com 619-255-2591 Silver - Bayside Nail & Spa 900 Bayfront Court, #105 bit.ly/2ObH2sD | 619-677-3338 MASSAGE Gold - The Knotstop 1080 University Ave. theknotstop.com | 619-296-5668

Gold - Camp Run-A-Mutt 2900 Fourth Ave., Ste 206 camprunamutt.com 858-272-6310

Silver - Markham Petty OPTOMETRIST Gold - Urban Optiks 3788 Park Blvd. uoosd.com | 619-683-2020

Silver - Little Buddies Pet Care lovelittlebuddies.com 619-481-8202

Silver - The UnOptical 1010 University Ave., C109 theunoptical.com | 619-655-5369

PET GROOMER Gold - Pet Palace 3827 Ray St. petpalcegroomingsd.com 619-291-6565

PERSONAL TRAINER Gold - Ryan Gans 4019 Goldfinch St. fitnesstogether.com 619-794-0014

PHARMACY Gold - A.H.F. Pharmacy 3940 Fourth Ave., Ste 150

Silver - Fido & Co. Canine Country Club 2811 University Ave. fidoandcompany.com 619-295-9663

Silver - Brian White Fitness 3919 Fourth Ave., Ste D youshouldbedoinglit.com 619+800-1625

Diversionary Theatre

ahfpharmacy.org | 619-574-9700 Silver - Medical Center Pharmacy 3904 Park Blvd. mcprx.com | 619-295-3109

PILATES Gold - Beyond Pilates 423 W. University Ave. beyondpilates.com 619-872-2593 Silver - The Pilates Spot 3524 Adams Ave. thepilatesspotsd.com 619-546-0554

PLUMBER Gold - Bill Howe Plumbing, Heating & Air 9085 Aero Drive, Ste B billhowe.com | 619-286-6348 Silver - Ideal Plumbing Heating Air Electrical 5161 Waring Road idealservice.com | 619-583-7963 REAL ESTATE AGENT Gold - Tony Azar 3930 Idaho St. tonyazar.com | 619-944-9601 Silver - Jeffrey Rowling 636 San Antonio Ave. rowlingrealty.com/about-san-diego-realtors 858-522-0443 REAL ESTATE OFFICE Gold - Ascent Real Estate 6112-A Regents Road ascentrealestate.net 858-453-3500

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Silver - Rowling Realty 636 San Antonio Ave. rowlingrealty.com/about-san-diego-realtors 858-522-0443 RETIREMENT LIVING Gold - St. Paul's Manor 2635 Second Ave. stpaulseniors.org/services/stpauls-manor 619-239-2097

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Winner of the Gold Award for Best Credit Union

2019

It’s not big bank banking. It’s better.™

SOLAR COMPANY Gold - Sullivan Solar 8949 Kenamar Drive, Ste #101 sullivansolarpower.com 858-271-7758 Silver - Solartech 9410 Bond Ave., El Cajon solartechonline.com/SanDiego 619-743-9193 TANNING SALON Gold - iTan Hillcrest 660 University Ave. itan.com/locations/hillcrest 619-298-1826 Silver - Hollywood Tans 9331 Mission Gorge Road, Ste 106, Santee hollywoodtansantee.com 619-258-4248 see Tattoo/Piercing Studio, pg 19

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 18

TATTOO/PIERCING STUDIO TATTOO/PIERCING STUDIO Gold - Church of Steel 1433 University Ave., A churchofsteel.com 619-232-5752 Silver - Avalon Tattoo II 1502, 3039 Adams Ave. avalontattootwo.com 619-280-1957

BEST OF GAY SAN DIEGO 2019 VETERINARIAN/ VETERINARIAN HOSPITAL Gold - Bodhi Veterinary Hospital 2200 University Ave. bodhisd.com | 619-225-5838

Silver - LunchboxWax Hillcrest

Silver - Kensington Animal Hospital 3817 Adams Ave. kensingtonvet.com 619-584-8418

Gold - Pilgrimage of the Heart

WAXING OR THREADING SALON Gold - Palmer Skin Body Waxing + Aesthetics 3900 Fifth Ave., Ste 140 palmerskin.com | 619-481-4087

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

1040 University Ave., B-205 lunchboxwax.com | 619-831-8877 YOGA STUDIO 2601, 4081 30th St. pilgrimageyoga.com 619-677-2022 Silver - Corepower Yoga Hillcrest 1080 University Ave. corepoweryoga.com 619-295-9642

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GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

BEST OF GAY SAN DIEGO 2019

gay-sd.com

THANK YOU!

Camp Run-A-Mutt™ would like to thank you for voting us Best Dog Daycare & Boarding for 2019

SEVERN CROW 2019

CAMP LOCATIONS: CALIFORNIA Chula Vista East County Kearny Mesa Los Angeles/LAX Los Angeles/South Bay Mission Hills Point Loma San Marcos Sorrento Valley

COLORADO Denver

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GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

gay-sd.com Ongoing Events

CityFest volunteers needed – CityFest this year is on Aug. 11. We're really looking forward to celebrating the best of urban life! Hillcrest has it all; music, art, craft beer, excellent food, pets, diversity, and community. This year's event is from noon until 11 p.m. CityFest raises money to help clean and improve the neighborhood of Hillcrest. CityFest is looking for volunteers for the event. We have two opportunities. Vendor Loading: we need people to help with vendor load-in. Your shift will be from 7:30-10:30 a.m. We'll need between six and nine people. You'll be directing vendors to their booth space. Donation Gathering: we need some spunky and energetic people to collect donations to keep CityFest free to all. Your shift will be from 2-5 p.m. and we'll equip you with creative donation jars and spot prizes to give to donors. Volunteers needed at the bar. For your volunteering, you'll receive a “Fabuteer” T-shirt or hat, and drink tickets for the beer garden. Email Colin at wavecolin@ gmail.com.

‘Little Shop of Horrors’ – Take a musical journey through the streets of skid row to a rundown flower shop where a bloodthirsty plant from another world eagerly awaits its next victim. Full of delightfully demented humor, this long-running off-Broadway musical comedy was inspired by Roger Corman's shockingly schlocky B-movie. Enjoy all the bloody good fun of

doo-wop inspired songs like “Somewhere That’s Green,” “Feed Me” and “Suddenly, Seymour” with this creepy, campy creature feature ... starring some of San Diego's best musical theater talent! Runs through Aug. 4 at New Village Arts Theatre. $28-$50. 2787 State St., Carlsbad. bit.ly/2XlbErQ

Red Dress Party 2019 – Red Dress Party San Diego is a whimsical fundraising event where everyone is encouraged to be brave, let loose, and celebrate impact. Like the name suggests, attendees are required to wear a red dress, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. This serves as a powerful sign of compassion and solidarity for those affected by HIV/AIDS and as a way to unite the crowd in one radiant theme. Pre-sale tickets now available at discounted prices for this Sept. 14 event. General admission: $60. VIP admission: $160. Port Pavilion on Broadway Pier. 100 N. Harbor Drive. bit.ly/2HnWRpr ‘Rock of Ages’ – Journey back to the sexy 1980s era of big: big bands, big egos, big guitar solos and big hair! Aqua Net, Lycra and liquor flow freely on the legendary Sunset Strip rock music scene. Amidst the madness, aspiring rock star Drew longs to become the next big thing in music, and longs for fresh-off-the-bus newcomer Sherrie, a Kansas kid with stars in her eyes. This musical comedy lovingly nudges the fashion of the 1980s and features some of the best rock hits from the time with music from Styx, Journey, Bon Jovi, Whitesnake and many more. Runs through Aug. 25. $45. The Old Town Theatre, 4040 Twiggs St. bit.ly/2Y1aDVa

‘Mystery Science Theater 3000 Live’ – Tickets are already on sale for the hilarious Peabody Award-winning hit TV comedy coming to San Diego on Jan. 25, 2020, with an all-new Mystery Science Theater 3000 Live: The Great Cheesy Movie Circus Tour! Join creator and original host, Joel Hodgson, in his final tour and the world’s greatest – and only – movie-riffing robots, Tom Servo, Crow, and Gypsy, as they take you on an exhilarating roller-coaster ride through some of the cheesiest films ever made $45.50-$65.50. Balboa Theatre, 868 Fourth Ave. bit.ly/2Y3R5ji

Friday, Aug. 2

Meet the author – J. R. Strayve, Jr., author of the “First Spouse of the United States,” will be available to discuss, sell and sign his timely and provocative fiction novel during Friday Night Liberty, from 6:30-8:30 p.m. In a story that parallels today’s political and social unrest, there are no taboo subjects. Readers will follow the sexual and political evolution of a gay activist and his husband’s quest for the White House. Washington shenanigans, rabid politicians, relentless media, social change and the remedy for today’s non-functioning legislature are fair game. In chapter one, Marine Corps fighter pilot Lt. Ricardo “Rocky” Chambers receives the Medal of Honor in the White House East

Room. Rocky is the man most men would like to be and the epitome of what many women want. But things are not always as they appear. A searing scene between Rocky and the president, rife with sexual tension, shows readers immediately there is no looking away from this dynamic character. Startling, surprising and dramatic scenes, blended with characters one really cares about, make this debut novel a must read. Comickaze – Liberty Station. Barracks 15. 2750 Historic Decatur Road. Suite 101. bit.ly/2Mnuiwn

Tuesday, Aug. 6

Live performances at The Merrow – 91X Loudspeaker’s Timothy E. Pyles presents a local music showcase featuring live performances by Stay for the Fireworks, Minimum Contacts and Kitty Plague. $5. Doors open at 8 p.m., show at 9 p.m. 1271 University Ave. bit.ly/2GzMxv8

Friday, Aug. 9

Women of Power – Women's rights affect all women regardless of orientation! Join the San Diego Area Chapter of NOW as we engage and test the feminist knowledge of the LGBT community on why women's rights are important not only to cis-women but to lesbians and transgender women, too. We will be engaging attendees on questions about what you might think is a constitutional right and what isn't. What rights you have in California and what you don't and how you came to have the rights as LGBT that you do today. Enjoy the Resizters as they rock out with protest music and women empowering sounds all night! $5. The Gossip Grill. 6-9 p.m. 1220 University Ave. bit.ly/2Ywe2Qb

ACROSS

1 Gay Bob, for example 5 Man with a steel rod 10 Dab at fresh lipstick, e.g. 14 John Goodman's “Normal, ___” 15 LuPone Broadway role 16 Wild party 17 Drivers get off on it 18 It lessens the bottom line 19 Column by the decimal 20 With 22-Across, she will soon play Sabrina in the “Charlie’s Angels” franchise 22 See 20-Across 24 Genre of Samuel Butler 25 Goes around 26 She has played Madison Lee in the “Charlie’s Angels” franchise 30 Big name in Chicago 33 Mardi Gras mo., often 34 Emcee Pat 38 Kind of tea

39 Changed from red to pink 41 Georgia spread on the screen 42 One-time link 43 Reproduced without breeders 45 Grizabella, on Broadway 46 Metal teeth near the package 48 Heart-shaped mollusk 50 Penguin perches 52 Evidence in a Scoppettone novel 53 She has played Dylan Sanders in the “Charlie’s Angels” franchise 56 It may be removed in SRS 57 Run out of 58 City in the land of Rilke 60 Twist an arm 61 Belgium treaty city 62 Man, as a cruising goal 63 Worship service, for Mychal Judge 64 Tumblers’ sites 65 State, to Cocteau

Saturday, Aug. 10

PrEP Social – Come to PREP Social, a free clothing swap for trans women and the nonbinary community, hosted by Good To Go San Diego and Prizila Dajia Vidal! The event will include pop-up clothing swap, resources, entertainment, PrEP info and sexual health topics. Although not required, don't forget to bring clothes/accessories to swap! Free. Good To Go San Diego. 4-6 p.m. 3830 Park Blvd. bit.ly/2OqS39G

Sunday, Aug. 11

CityFest Art & Music Festival – San Diego's ultimate summer art and music festival takes over Fifth Avenue from noon until 11p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 11, during Hillcrest CityFest! The 36th annual celebration of community spirit features live bands, electric dance music DJs, arts, crafts, and food that attracts over 150,000-plus visitors from San Diego and Southern California! This is San Diego's largest and best art and music festival, stretching nearly half a mile in size over nine city blocks. A grand stage with live music and headliner bands will keep you entertained from noon until 7 p.m., followed by headliner DJs and wellknown talent. A massive cocktail bar and MillerCoors Beer Garden featuring Hop Valley Brewing Co.'s Reveal Pale Ale, will keep you hydrated and entertained, and over 250 vendors will give you plenty of shopping opportunities. Located in the colorful and vibrant community of Hillcrest, our quaint shops and restaurants along Fifth, Robinson, and University avenues will come alive with community spirit, giving you a place to dive into and explore. bit.ly/2XRWEWz

QSyndicate.com

Q Q PUZZLE PUZZLE

CHARLIE'S ANGELS

solution on page 22 DOWN 1 Lame crowd 2 Frank of the New York School of poetry 3 Speed to heed 4 Not straight 5 Cash in 6 Where to find hot buns 7 Baby food catcher 8 Miss that was a Cole Porter hit 9 Decoration for skin 10 Do some bullying 11 Isle of Bette Midler’s birth state 12 In-your-face 13 Dry runs 21 “South Park” co-creator Parker 23 Blows it 27 Moslem cleric 28 “Margaret Mead ___ Me Gay” 29 Often-dunked item 30 Cameron, who has played Natalie Cook in the franchise

31 Curtain-raising time 32 Moves a head between one’s legs 35 What the excited snowman might do? 36 Word on an Asian map 37 Jackson, who has played Sabrina Duncan in the franchise 39 Some who like it hot 40 Translates from heterospeak? 43 Sneaky Pie cry 44 Dire destiny 47 Academy newbies 49 Snack with milk 51 Daughter of a gay-friendly prez 52 Fruit with wrinkles 53 Nickelodeon explorer 54 Coral habitat 55 Cinder suffix of fairy tales 56 Bottom of the Thames 59 Circus safety device

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CHARLIE'S ANGELS

FEATURE

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 3

QUEER COSTS Methodist Church (UMC) seminary when he learned the denomination still officially condemned homosexuality. He dropped out after meeting with leaders in the denomination who confirmed to him that the policy was not changing. Since then, he has rebuilt his life as a music teacher and as the artistic director for the San Diego Gay Men's Chorus. He came on last year as the music director for UCC. Eventually, Haus would like to return to full-time ministry but has no plans for that yet. Haus was not surprised when the UMC church, which has 7 million members in the U.S., voted to strengthen anti-LGBTQ+ policies during their February general conference. The vote on the “traditional plan” was brought about because of opposition to Bishop Karen Oliveto — the first openly lesbian bishop to be elected in the UMC in 2016. At a previous job, Brandan Robertson screened her emails. There, he saw the vitriol directed toward the prominent queer Christian. While Brandan Robertson was not surprised by the outcome, he still grieved over the vote. “[The UMC denomination] pushed women in ministry. They pushed all these lines that don't seem very radical from the outside, but from within traditional Christianity are pretty radical. To watch a conservative faction of the church say, ‘We don't want gay bishops and pastors that already are serving in ministry and doing a great job, we don't want them just because they're LGBTQ’ — to see one of the largest denominations in the world decide this was heartbreaking,” Robertson said. Normal Heights United Methodist Church (NHUMC), where Sarah Holly is the children's director, publicly spoke out against the decision. It was still shocking to find herself in a denomination that does not welcome her and people like her, even if the individual church she is a member of is affirming, because that is why she left the Nazarene church a few years ago while attending Point Loma Nazarene University (PLNU). Many professors and pastors were individually affirming, but

MICHAEL KIMMEL Psychotherapist Author of "Life Beyond Therapy" in Gay San Diego 5100 Marlborough Drive San Diego CA 92116 (619)955-3311 www.LifeBeyondTherapy.com

without the denomination backing them, Holly made the decision to attend NHUMC instead. Of the discrimination Holly has faced, these experiences do not top the list. Throughout her childhood and into high school, Holly spent each summer at a small Christian camp in Northern California with her friends. It became a sacred place for her. When she was old enough, she was hired as a counselor. Her girlfriend, the first girl she dated, also attended the camp and was set to work there that summer. When people found out about their relationship, they were asked to leave. “That was pretty hurtful. He [the camp director] just didn't know. He was uneducated and it deeply wounded us and that was really hard,” Holly said. The nondenominational camp did not have a specific policy about LGBTQ+ people according to Holly, so the decision was made partially because no one knew what to do. “It was my childhood camp, so being fired from that was absolutely devastating.” The experience made her so anxious she dropped out of PLNU after her first year. Eventually, her friends convinced her to come back and Holly became involved in LGBTQ+ advocacy on the campus. “That is discrimination and oppression at work and how can I, how can we move forward so that someone else doesn't have to experience that?” Holly said. The homophobia she faced makes painting a new picture of what the church in America can be — a place of healing, inclusion, safety — essential to the work she does now. She is also thankful for the conversations and leadership opportunities living at the intersection of Christian and gay has given her. “Growing up, I didn't even know there were other gay Christians in the world. That was really confusing for me — as it is for so many people coming out who are raised in faith traditions — you actually can be gay and Christian and that's not antithetical to the Bible. I just had no idea growing up. I wasn't exposed to it,” Holly said. Robertson had a similar experience. “I never believed gay Christians actually existed. I'd always believed if you are

homosexual, you could not be a part of the church or wouldn’t want to be,” he said. Holly has worked hard to develop herself as a whole person rather than someone with two identities that do not intersect. “It's been a real gift because [there are] a lot of needs [for] a person who is able to bridge these two communities that so often are opposing each other.” While switching to an affirming church has meant these LGBTQ+ Christians can continue forward in their ministry free from discrimination and other barriers, they also had to overcome internalized homophobia and shame. Robertson did not know it was possible to hold the identity of gay and Christian at the same time.

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019 “I remember the first time I thought that I had same-sex attraction. I walked into the back of my Baptist church and I remember seeing a guy that I found attractive. I realized I had attraction for the first time. And I remembered hearing what the pastor had preached about homosexuality being an abomination. And I literally ran out of the church sanctuary and went into the bathroom and cried in a stall and asked God to take away this thing from me that I thought would literally cause me to go to hell and also make my calling that I felt to be a pastor invalid,” Robertson said. Queer Christians who are a part of non-affirming congregations must grapple with their theology and place in ministry

and calling — but they also must come to terms with accepting themselves. “Maybe I am gay but, oh my gosh, if I am what does that mean? Because my faith at that time was a fundamentalist faith and I couldn't accept that," Haus said. The love and grace of God drew him to faith, but he struggled with reconciling that with what he had been taught about his homosexuality. “Are you in sin or is faith a different color? I had to go through a whole reshaping and re-understanding of my faith.” — Kendra Sitton is the editor of San Diego Uptown News, a publication of San Diego Community News Group. Kendra can be reached at kendra@sdnews.com.

NEWS/ARTS

GAY SAN DIEGO Aug. 2-15, 2019

FROM PAGE 1

GAY MEN'S than a choral performance — it was an unequivocal musical production. There were so many stand out moments, it is impossible to mention them all, but it would be nothing short of profane not to give some high props to some of the essential elements that helped push this concert to higher level. With Joseph Dasilva as Cher and Dustyn Evans as Sonny, we took a journey back in time with “I Got You Babe.” Both delivered the early beginnings of Cher’s career with this iconic song. Dasilva captured the Cher essence and in doing so captured

gay-sd.com

the audience immediately from the first note. Evans was a perfect match, bringing the original duet to life. “Dov'e L'amore” is a stunning song. Flamenco guitarist Juan Marco, a maestro of the guitar encompassed the room with the beauty and complexity of his gift. Flamenco dancer Erika Lopez led the dance troupe with strong tradition of the dance. This powerful grouping with the chorus left the audience in awe and joy as it was truly a cultural experience that many of us are still talking about. Although his solo was short, when Jermaine Staten stepped on stage during “Walking in Memphis,” as he sang his first line, the gasps of surprise and respect of his talent were heard throughout the audience.

A parade of Cher’s costumes past and present

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AJ Bond and Jeffrey Hitchin were a wonderful combination for “Fernando’ and captured the beauty of the song with a lyrical dance of their vocals. Ross Bixler nailed it as lead vocal for “Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves,” another Cher classic that has stood the test of time. Dancers! All of you were at the top of your game, whether interpreting lyrics or performing dancing you added a flavor to the night that was sweet and powerful. Everyone involved knew their place and I have to say you set the stage for Act 2 with your performance of “Welcome to Burlesque.” By the way, the Cher fashion show of present and past was a bonus with some of her most well-known costumes. It brought a lot of personality to the show and I absolutely loved it. To the chorus, I wasn’t the only one in tears with “Song for the Lonely.” Simply beautiful in arrangement and harmony. That was a special gift and it was received with as much passion as

you put into that performance. “The Way of Love” was another moving and emotional choice. Thank you. “Believe” was an incomparable finale for this show. As always, you left us in the audience fueled, engaged and wanting more. The interactivity with the audience and the entire production on stage singing this song together was more than just a moment. It was momentous. The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus took six decades of Cher’s iconic music, and even though I expect an excellent delivery, you always take it to the higher level. “Jingle” is considered by many your best of the season, but this performance was as good as if not better than the holiday favorite. Passion, devotion and your love of music and what you are doing in the community is formidably present. I’m a believer. — Albert Fulcher can be reached at albert@sdcnn.com.

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San Diego Men’s Chorus performs “Walking in Memphis” with soloist Jermaine Staten (Photos by BIG MIKE PHOTOGRAPHY)

Gay San Diego is for sale Publisher David Mannis recently sold five of his six newspapers and is now ready to retire and sell Gay SD. “We appreciate the interest we’ve received but want to be sure the new owner/publisher has a demonstrated passion for/wants to be a voice for the LGBT community and is not just an investor looking for a profit,” Mannis said. “This is a great opportunity for an individual or community organization to take the helm of this important resource and communications vehicle. I’d like to make sure it continues.” Gay San Diego, the only

newspaper serving San Diego’s LGBT community, has been publishing for 10 years with copies distributed every other Friday. Gay SD also publishes the San Diego PRIDE program, which was included in the July 5 of Gay SD and July 12 issue of San Diego Uptown News. Best of Gay San Diego will be published in the August 2 issue. The sale of this hyper-local paper includes the newspaper, its website, digital media and social media platforms. Interested parties should contact Mannis at david@sdcnn.com Or call (858) 750-5631.