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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
eNTerTaINMeNT
The fearless, Emmy-winning Leslie Jordan conquers MA4 C12 on stage ‘Going to a Place Where You Already Are’ C14
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lGBTQsD.neWs
NIghT LIFe
COMMUNITY vOICes
Life beyond therapy Conversations Big Mike with Nicole C7 & Friends C9 How much sex should I be having? C8
The Bar Social Scene Top five tips on making connections C18
The C Word … Community C10
Club San Diego Re-branding Focusing on fun, safety and well-being C16
Trans Talk with Connor C11
Benny on the Block C15
‘LgBTQ+ saN DIegO:
Stories of Struggles and Triumphs’ at the San Diego History Center C3
Rich’s Nightclub Changes Ownership
ryan Bedrosian By nicole murray-ramirez
Ave. 1051 University has long been a
Hillcrest landmark for outstanding entertainment, dancing and socializing beginning in the 1960s as Mickie Finn’s, Metro, Mr. Dillon’s, and for the last 28 years, the award-winning nightclub Rich’s. Popular businessman Nick Moede bought Rich’s 15 years ago and last week announced that he sold the nightclub to his long-time general manager Ryan Bedrosian.
Civil Rights March on Washington, D.C. [Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. speaking.] (courtesy photo)
Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service By ian morton
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ryan Bedrosia continues on C2
photo by Mel Marcelo
Build OUT 2020
san DieGo PriDe anD HaBiTaT for san DieGo HumaniTy partnership addresses need for affordable housing robert leyh, Programs manager, san Diego Pride San Diego Pride members get to work with Habitat for San Diego Humanity for Build OUT 2020 (courtesy photo)
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ow in its third year, Build OUT brings together two very different organizations while focusing on a common cause – affordable housing. This year, San Diego Pride and its partner organizations brought together 60 volunteers from the LGBTQ community to
work at five different locations throughout San Diego County to support the work of San Diego Habitat for Humanity. Build ouT 2020 continues on C2
t should be impossible to think about the U.S. Civil Rights movement and not picture Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Very likely, when you hear that name, the words “I have a dream” come to mind, as this is the most quoted bit of King’s 1963 speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. But King was more than a dreamer or a great orator — he was a doer who spent his time among the people. It is for this reason that having a “Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service” makes so much sense. While King’s birthday was recognized as a federal holiday in 1983 — and observed nationally in 1986 — it was in 1994 that Congress passed the King Holiday and Service Act. The legislation which launched this initiative has been folded into the U.S. president’s “United We Serve” project, which is administered by AmeriCorps, the volunteer arm of the Corporation for National and Community Service. While many businesses give employees this third Monday in January a day off from work, United States citizens are encouraged to “make it a day on, not a day off,” by engaging in volunteer work in their community. As we enter into a new year — and a new decade — with all that modern technology has brought us, it is as urgent as ever that we heed King’s call to action. In his words from that famous speech, “This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy...Continue to work, with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.” As a black man in the early ’60s, King realized, as many marginalized communities still do today, that the work toward equality and equity must not let up; even if they do not see the full results in their lifetime. mlK Day of service continues on C2
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
ryan Bedrosian continued from Page 1
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Build ouT 2020 continued from Page 1
Nick Moede and Ryan Bedrosia (courtesy photo) San Diego Pride members get to work with Habitat for San Diego Humanity for Build OUT 2020 (courtesy photos)
Nick Moede (courtesy photo)
“Together we have created an amazing space that is welcoming to everyone. I know that the legacy of Rich’s will carry on with Ryan as the new owner.”
One of the locations Pride volunteers worked at is in Logan Heights where 11 homes are being built. These homes feature drought-tolerant landscaping, use of sustainable building materials, low-flow plumbing fixtures, and energyefficient Whirlpool appliances. Under the supervision of master builders, Pride volunteers are literally helping to build affordable subsidized homes and bringing people’s dreams to life. The Pride volunteers spent the day performing a variety of construction related tasks that included sawing, painting, and installing fixtures. “San Diego Pride’s greatest strength are the thousands of volunteers who make our events and programs possible all year round. We all know
that San Diego is in a housing crisis, making the work of Habitat for Humanity a vital part of addressing this huge issue facing our region,” said Fernando López, San Diego Pride executive director. “This one event brings out our LGBTQ community around shared values of volunteerism, affordable housing, and sustainability. Build OUT reminds us all what is possible when we work together.” Pride volunteers also supported the funding of Habitat for Humanity by working at all four ReStores located in Carlsbad, Escondido, Kearny Mesa, and National City. ReStores are home improvement discount stores with a simple idea: by selling new and gently used donated goods, Habitat
can fund the construction of new homes in San Diego. Pride volunteers worked as cashiers, performed inventory, helped unload stock, as well as put up and took down displays. Participating in Build OUT 2020 alongside Pride volunteers were members of Impulse San Diego, North County LGBTQ Resource Center, PFLAG San Diego, Stonewall Citizens’ Patrol, and TransFamily Support Services. If you would like to engage in these types of volunteer opportunities with San Diego Pride, please visit our website at sdpride.org/volunteer and register. Civic engagement opportunities like this are available all year long as together we rise.
mlK Day of service continued from Page 1
—Nick Moede
Facebook exploded with accolades of respect and appreciation to Moede and wishes of continued success to the new 35-year-old owner Bedrosian. Moede told LGBTQ San Diego County News that he had been thinking about selling the club to no one else but his popular manager for the last couple of years because he wanted to continue Rich’s legacy of always welcoming all people through its doors and giving back to the community and neighborhood. Moede, who is a past president of the Hillcrest Business Association and a past member of Mayor Faulconer’s LGBTQ Advisory Board, said he would continue to go between his homes in Canada and San Diego. He hopes to do a lot of traveling and continue his civic involvement in San Diego. “Nick Moede is a great San Diegan. As the longtime owner of Rich’s Nightclub, he’s been an important community leader and philanthropist who made an enormous difference in our city. I wish him well as he starts a new chapter in his life, and I look forward to Ryan Bedrosian’s ownership of this local institution,” said California Assembly Majority Leader Todd Gloria. Moede told LGBTQ San Diego County News, “I appreci-
ate all of the support that the San Diego LGBTQ community and the staff of Rich’s have given over the years. Together we have created an amazing space that is welcoming to everyone. I know that the legacy of Rich’s will carry on with Ryan as the new owner.” Bedrosian, who attended Carlsbad High School and is an officer of the Hillcrest Business Association as well as a member of both the police chief and sheriff’s advisory boards, said that things would continue as is at Rich’s with exciting new changes coming in the near future. Rich’s has about 50 employees and Bedrosian started his new ownership by becoming a $1,000 sponsor of Being Alive (a San Diego County AIDS agency) 30th Anniversary Gala set for Feb. 21. Bedrosian, who recently was voted another Nicky Award has been overwhelmed and touched by the outpouring of love and support of the LGBTQ community. “I want to give a huge thank you for all the love and support I’ve received from the community. I’m so excited to continue growing Rich’s and keeping it an important space for our community where everyone and anyone is welcome, can feel safe and be free to be whoever they want to be,” said Bedrosian.
This day also speaks to the importance of community, which can serve as sources of motivation and accountability of our resolve to engage in volunteer work. While King may have been the visible face and orator of the Civil Rights movement, he did not work alone. He counted on the strength and wisdom of those outside of his ministerial background; individuals such as playwright Lorraine Hansberry, poet James Baldwin, singer Nina Simone, and his administerial right hand — black gay man, Bayard Rustin. As was King’s experience, when we put our time and effort into volunteering for the causes about which we care, our own community expands, and we find that the differences that seemed so great actually matter very little. In his 1967 essay, “The World House,” King admonishes us, “This call for a worldwide fellowship that lifts neighborly concern beyond one’s tribe, race, class and nation is in
reality a call for an all-embracing and unconditional love for all men.” When we take the time to answer a call to better our world, alongside our fellow humans, there is just no room left for separation.
“As was King’s experience, when we put our time and effort into volunteering for the causes about which we care, our own community expands and we find that the differences that seemed so great matter very little.” —Ian Morton
So, how do you go about engaging in the MLK Day of Service? One great resource is the Corporation for National and Community Service website: nationalservice.gov. On their
front page is a search engine for volunteer opportunities, organized by ZIP code. If you happen to be employed by a larger company, there might be a project that your fellow employees can get behind — or maybe you can be the one who starts that trend? Lastly, if you type “MLK Day of Service” into your Facebook search, you will find opportunities and events, such as the HRC “Care Bags Assembly” at the Lafayette Hotel on Sunday, Jan. 19. At the start of each year, so many of us resolve to make changes to improve ourselves, and the MLK Day of Service is a great jumping off point to start improving the world. Whether your preferred cause centers around social justice, environmental issues, homelessness, at-risk youth services, or any other number of worthy causes, take the time this Monday to get engaged. As Dr. King wrote, “We cannot walk alone,” and there are friends in the cause waiting to walk with you!
News
lgbtqsd.news
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
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t started with a 50-person ensemble from the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus singing “Glory” from the historical drama “Selma” on the atrium staircase. As tears poured from almost all attendees’ eyes, it was clear the exhibition opening was like no other in the San Diego History Center’s past. So began the 18-month run of the “LGBTQ+ San Diego: Stories of Struggles and Triumphs” exhibition at the San Diego History Center, a collaboration with Lambda Archives of San Diego and curated by noted LGBTQ+ historian and bestselling author Lillian Faderman, Ph.D. The exhibition invites visitors to share an informative and affecting experience, reflecting on the struggles of persecution and the triumphs of community seeking equality. The exhibition provides a catalyst to raise awareness, promote tolerance, and inspire greater sensitivity in our community. More than 150,000 people have experienced “LGBTQ+ San Diego” and it continues to break attendance records at the San Diego History Center in Balboa Park. IMPACT “LGBTQ+ San Diego” has become more than an exhibition; it has provided an ideal venue for San Diego students to connect classroom learning with real-world issues of social justice thanks to the San Diego History Center’s Busses for Diversity education program. Busses for Diversity was generously funded with a grant from The Imperial Court de San Diego and AT&T League Employee group with a matching gift from AT&T. The program provides interactive and discussion-based experiences to promote greater understanding and tolerance. In addition to youth, SDHC has become a venue for diversity training for the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department. Approximately 750 detention deputies have participated in a diversity training program with San Diego Pride and the San Diego History Center. The history center provides a venue for the sheriffs away from their usual workplaces to focus on education and humanizing the stories of LGBTQ+ discrimination to better serve the community. AWARDS San Diego has had a very positive response to the exhibition, which is reflected in the many media accolades and
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energy enhancement to the exhibit titled “Legendary Drag Queens of San Diego.” Featuring nine of San Diego’s most beloved and enduring drag , he exhibit cast a spotlight on the philanthropic contributions of the drag community and its influence on LGBTQ+ equality. “LGBTQ+ San Diego” celebrated San Diego Pride 2018 and 2019 with receptions, lectures, and community presentations and San Diego History Center staff and volunteers continued the tradition of marching in the San Diego Pride Parade. San Diego Rotary Club 33 recognized the San Diego History Center with its 2019 Peace Award for creating the first ever LGBTQ+ exhibit in a Balboa Park museum and fostering peace in our community.
‘LgBTQ+ saN DIegO:
StORieS Of StRuggleS aND tRiumphS’ at the SaN DiegO hiStORy CeNteR By Bob morris
(courtesy photos)
awards “LGBTQ+ San Diego” has received, including proclamations from state and local governments. The history center received the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Award at the 43rd annual Nicky Awards ceremony. The award was presented to the history
7th aNNual
human Trafficking awareness rally lGBTQ san Diego County news
center by the Hon. Toni Atkins, president pro tempore of the California Senate. Each year, San Diego Pride seeks community-wide nominations for their Spirit of Stonewall Awards. The San Diego History Center was honored to receive the 2019 Spirit of Stone-
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wall Award for the “LGBTQ+ San Diego” exhibition. CELEBRATIONS The history center celebrated many LGBTQ+ milestones, none more significant than the 50th anniversary of Stonewall, for which SDHC welcomed a high-
he Junior League of San Diego’s (JLSD) annual awareness rally focuses on human trafficking on a local level and how people can recognize the signs of those currently held captive. The main purpose of this event is to listen together, walk together, and raise awareness about human trafficking in San Diego. This year’s event speakers will be announced soon. Human trafficking is a serious crime, a violation of human rights, and represents an economic cost of $800 million in San Diego each year. Thousands of men, women, and children are affected by this crime annually. Knowing what it is, the signs, and what to do if you become aware of it is important for the safety of our society. Legislators and those “in the trenches” will speak
‘LGBTQ+ SAN DIEGO’ 2.0 Throughout the course of “LGBTQ+ San Diego,” the exhibition has had a tremendous impact on the San Diego community, as a meeting space, an educational programming venue, and as a host for diversity training. Therefore, the history center is pleased to announce that the exhibition will be refreshed, renovated, restyled, and reborn within the museum, ready to welcome new visitors to experience this vital history, and with a focused intention on use for needed diversity training. On Jan. 26, 2020, “LGBTQ+ San Diego: Stories of Struggles and Triumphs” as we know it today will close. It will be relocated and reopened on Feb. 3, in its new incarnation. The San Diego History Center thanks the public for their overwhelmingly positive response to the exhibition. The history center also thanks its corporate sponsors and the individual donors, contributors, and volunteers who have made the exhibition a reality. Lastly, the history center thanks Lambda Archives for their collaboration, and the “LGBTQ+ San Diego” Community Advisory Board co-chaired by former California state Senator the Hon. Christine Kehoe and businessperson and community activist Mr. Robert Gleason. The help and support given has been an incredible gift to the San Diego History Center and our community, and we are proud to continue this impactful work. —Bob Morris is an advancement consultant at the San Diego History Center.
at our rally so we may get a glimpse of recent findings from local studies measuring the extent and nature of involvement in sex and labor trafficking in San Diego. We will discover how local companies can ensure there is no association with human trafficking in their operations or supply chains and how they can support trafficking-free labor. JLSD strives to give the community information about how to “Know the Signs” of both sex and labor trafficking. WHEN: Saturday, Jan. 25, 1-3 p.m. WHERE: Sixth Avenue and Laurel Street (Balboa Park), open to the public! Please visit their website at JLSD.org and get involved. (courtesy photo)
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
COUrT News
lgbtqsd.news
Peter Bentz (courtesy photo)
trial begins in
presumed murder of gay man By neal Putnam
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gay man was murdered in his Ocean Beach apartment by a sex partner who was angry that the man videotaped him having sex with a woman, a prosecutor has told a jury. The body of Peter Bentz, 68, has not been found, but his blood was found in 17 locations in his Greene Street apartment after a police cadaver dog alerted investigators to it despite someone cleaning the apartment, said a prosecutor. Deputy District Attorney Jeffrey Dort told a jury Jan. 7 he will ask them to convict Brian Eleron Hancock, 49, an electrician from National City, of first-degree murder. San Diego Superior Court Judge Joan Weber is presiding. Hancock’s attorney, Jimmy Rodriguez, told jurors that Bentz met Hancock when he hired him to do electrical work and they had a consensual sexual relationship even though Hancock is married to a woman. “To this day, no one knows what happened to Mr. Bentz,” said Rodriguez, who said Bentz had a habit of inviting strangers to his apartment. The defense attorney told jurors to focus on the changing stories of two women including Hancock’s own wife. Both women have signed cooperation agreements with the DA’s office and given immunity. “Mr. Hancock may be many things, but he is not a murderer. He may be a bad husband, but he is not a killer,” said Rodriguez, who said he will ask for an acquittal. Dort told the 7-woman, 5-man jury that Bentz was last seen alive on Nov. 20, 2017, when a security camera showed him leaving a gym. Dort said his belongings were found strewn near a freeway that included a napkin with Bentz’s blood and Hancock’s DNA on it. Hancock used Bentz’s credit cards to buy bleach, a shovel, dolly, a table saw and he used Bentz’s 2006 Toyota Highlander days after Bentz vanished, said Dort. Four days before Bentz disappeared, Hancock brought over a woman who watched the two men have sex, said the prosecutor. The woman, Rosa Hammond,
then had sex with Hancock. Bentz may have videotaped it and posted it online, said Dort. This made Hancock very angry and he told a witness that he stabbed Bentz seven times, said Dort, who quoted Hancock as saying “it was difficult, he was a big guy.” Bentz’s phone pinged at Hancock’s home after Bentz disappeared, and it also pinged for four hours in Campo, where Bentz is believed buried, said Dort. The phone never registered a location afterwards. Hancock told a witness he was “worried he didn’t bury him deep enough (as) someone would find him,” said Dort. “The body is just too heavy,” Dort quoted Hancock as telling his wife. Police and investigators searched sites in Campo but couldn’t find a body. Rodriguez said Hancock and Bentz shared “a mutual vice — drugs,” and his client supplied Bentz with drugs. Rodriguez said Hancock came over to Bentz’s home and found him making a sex video with three other men. Hancock wanted to be part of the video for cash, and Bentz paid him by giving him his car keys and credit cards, said Rodriguez. Kirk Bentz, the victim’s younger brother, testified as the first witness, saying he noticed his brother’s computer, monitor, all camera and video equipment, and all jewelry were missing from his apartment. “I used to love Brian,” said Rosa Hammond, who said he was her ex-boyfriend. Hammond testified Jan. 9 she went with Hancock to Bentz’ apartment and she watched “Peter and Brian…having sex on the couch.” She said she had sex with Hancock afterwards, and wondered if Bentz had videotaped them. Hammond said a stranger on Facebook sent her a video that she could not open, saying she was featured on the video. She said she alerted Hancock. She also said she saw Hancock steal a credit card from Bentz’s wallet while he was in the bathroom. The trial is estimated to last until Jan. 29. Hancock has pleaded not guilty and he remains in jail on $2 million bail.
News
lgbtqsd.news
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
Community Activist Tasha Williamson: (Democrat) First African American woman running for mayor. Co-founder San Diego Compassion Project, Building Justice. Member Jacobs Center for Neighborhood Innovation, National Urban League. www. tasha4mayor.com
San Diego Mayoral Forum Thursday January 23, 2020 National University Sanford Education Center 11355 N. Torrey Pines Road, San Diego, 92037 5:30-6:30 p.m. hosted reception 6:30-8:00 p.m. candidates forum Free with RSVP to www.strategicalliancesd.org
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According to Iris Garcia, president and chair of the San Diego County Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, this community forum is non-partisan. She said, “the Strategic Alliance does not endorse any candidate. We sponsor this event to educate and empower our members and the public.” The Alliance will endorse future propositions and ballot measures that ensure an inclusive economy for everyone. TOU Phase 7__San Diego Community News Network: Uptown News_RUN: 01/01/2020__TRIM: 6.1” x 10.96”
Mayoral Forum Preview By m.G. Perez senior reporter
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n the heels of Mayor Kevin Faulconer’s final State of the City address, the bright light of San Diego politics now turns to his replacement. Term limits kept the Republican mayor from running again. Next week, San Diego County’s three largest ethnic chambers of commerce unite to find out what candidates will do to help San Diegans survive and thrive in the new 2020s decade. The newly partnered Strategic Alliance is made up of the Asian Business Association, Central San Diego Black Chamber of Commerce, and the San Diego County Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. In October, the trio of organizations signed a memorandum of understanding with priorities that include sharing business resources, sponsoring educational workshops, and joint advocacy for the tens of thousands of local businesses they represent. The Strategic Alliance hosts its first San Diego Mayoral Forum on Thursday, January 23rd at the National University Sanford Education Center in La Jolla. The focus and title of the free community event poses the question, “What Does a Strong & Inclusive Economy Look Like With Our Next Mayor?” According to www.abasd.org, there are four candidates slated to appear.
Council Member Barbara Bry: (Democrat) San Diego City Council President Pro Tem (District 1). Technology entrepreneur, founder Athena San Diego, Run Women Run, board member Planned ParenthoodPacific Southwest, president Children’s Museum of San Diego. Bachelor’s degree, Sociology and master’s degree, Secondary Education from University of Pennsylvania, Master’s degree Business Administration from Harvard University. www. barbarabry.com Assembly Member Todd Gloria: (Democrat) California State Assembly Majority Whip (District 78). San Diego City Council (District 3) Council President, Interim Mayor. Native San Diegan, District Director for U.S. Congresswoman Susan Davis, San Diego Housing Commissioner. Bachelor’s degree summa cum laude, History from University of San Diego. www.toddgloria.com Council Member Scott Sherman: (Republican) San Diego City Council (District 7). Small business owner, life-long San Diegan, volunteer and supporter Make A Wish Foundation, YMCA, Burn Institute, Children’s Convalescent Hospital, Wounded Warriors project. Grossmont College. www.sherman2020.com
THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SAVE.
You did it, San Diego. More than 600,000 of you are thinking about energy differently. By using less electricity from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m., you’ve helped save energy and contributed to a cleaner environment for us all. Because of you, when is truly in. Visit us online for tips on how to continue your success with Time-of-Use.
Find tips at sdge.com/whenmatters
Time to save. “The Strategic Alliance does not endorse any candidate. We sponsor this event to educate and empower our members and the public.” — Iris Garcia
© 2019 San Diego Gas & Electric Company. All trademarks belong to their respective owners. All rights reserved. Actual savings may vary and will depend on various factors, including geographic location, weather conditions, equipment installed, usage rates and similar factors.
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
OPINION
lgbtqsd.news
letter to the editor LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie
Dear Editor: Even a bi-weekly free newspaper should either follow the basics of objective journalism or cease publication. Your front-page “Persons of the Year” article singing the praises of mayoral candidate Todd Gloria made no mention or disclosure that its author was Gloria’s mayoral campaign manager. Hard-hitting sycophantic praise disguised as news. Did the Gloria campaign pay your full advertising rates for these front-page and inside column inches of promotional campaign advertising? Or conversely, will your publication disclose and timely report that full market value as a campaign contribution to Gloria? David Lundin
OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification.
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news SENIOR STAFF REPORTER M. G. Perez SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips Benny Cartwright Korie Houston Michael Kimmel Robert Leyh Connor Maddocks Bob Morris Ian Morton Kevin Perry Neal Putman Tootie Romeo San Vicente DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.
OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff. SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.
COMMUNITY vOICes
lgbtqsd.news
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
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Conversations with Nicole Bayard rustin To receive governor’s Pardon Nicole Murray ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.
Democratic Party $3 Million sexual abuse settlement Well I’ve known former State Chairman Eric Bauman of the California Democratic Party for many decades. He was always a rough “Mayor Richard Daley” type of political operator but now it seems he had a much darker side. Bauman was forced to resign last year after eight former party staffers (both men and women) brought lawsuits against him for sexual harassment and abuse. Well the California Democratic Party last week settled all the lawsuits at a cost of $3 million dollars much of which will go to attorney fees and taxes. Bauman was openly gay and was elected in a close election. I lost all respect for him when he okayed a gay baiting lying hit piece against Carl DeMaio from the state party during an Orange County State Senate recall campaign led by DeMaio which was successful. It seems that while he was state chairman, Eric sexually abused at least one of his staffers and sexually harassed and intimidated many more including our own Will Rodriguez-Kennedy, who rumors have it received over $150,000 in a settlement. Will is currently Chairman of the San Diego County Democratic Party and State Chair of the California Young Democrats. RodriguezKennedy has been greatly credited with leading the successful effort that resulted in the state party changing its policies to better protect its staff members and change the workplace culture. Why are 99% of the political scandals, forced resignations, lawsuits involving LGBTQ elected public officials ALWAYS gay men? Thank goodness we still have role models like Todd Gloria, Chris Olson, Robert Garcia and soon Stephen Whitburn.
Will Rodriguez-Kennedy (courtesy photo)
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ayard Rustin is in many ways a forgotten hero and leader of the Black Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 60s. A “socialist” and an openly homosexual man, Rustin lived during a time when it was homosexuality was against the law. Homosexuals were considered deviants and perverts and were sent to mental hospitals where many were subjected to lobotomies and electric shock treatments. The 50’s were also the times of the “McCar-
thy Era” (U.S. senator Joseph McCarthy) which involved witch hunts, police harassment, beatings and entrapments and false arrests against homosexuals, making accusations of subversion or treason without regard for evidence. Next week, Jan. 21 marks the anniversary of Bayard Rustin’s arrest for deviant “sex crimes” (homosexual acts) in Pasadena, California in the 1950’s. This arrest followed this Civil Rights icon all of his life. Rustin was a mentor and advisor to Martin Luther King Jr. and a director of the historic March on Washington in the 1960’s. After I and the International Imperial Court System led the successful campaign to get a Harvey Milk U.S. Postage Stamp, we immediately launched another national letter writing campaign for a Bayard Rustin U.S. Postage Stamp which we partnered with the National LGBTQ Task Force who has been a great national co-sponsor. Last year at a meeting with popular State Senator Scott Weiner (chair of the LGBT Legislative Caucus) we discussed our ongoing campaigns for the Bayard Rustin Stamp and getting War World II veteran and gay icon Jose Julio Sarria in the California Hall of Fame. Senator Weiner brought up Bayard’s arrest record and how it should be pardoned by California Governor Gavin Newsom. Senator Weiner and his outstanding staff immediately got on this and included California LGBT Legislative Caucus and the California Black Legislative Caucus. Well now I am very proud to say that next week I will be flying to our state capitol to speak at Senator Scott Weiner’s Bayard Rustin’s Official Posthumous Pardon! There is a good chance Bayard’s partner Walter Naegle will be flying in from New York for this historic event. Thank You Senator Scott Weiner and God Bless You for making right a true injustice!
hillcrest and gaslamp getting Promenades! Not only is Hillcrest getting a Pride Plaza (Promenade) were the Rainbow flag and Rainbow Walk are but now comes word that the downtown Gaslamp Quarter is also looking at a future promenade and I’m 100% in support of these plans.To me a great Innovation in public places and more pedestrian activation. Vote “Yes On C,” and let’s move San Diego forward!
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COMMUNITY vOICes
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
lgbtqsd.news
how much s ex sho uld I b e hav i ng ?
LIFe BeYOND TheraPY
Every one of us has her/his/their own preferences, desires and pleasures. It can be a lot of fun to explore yours, whatever they are.
Michael Kimmel
— Michael Kimmel
—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.
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’ve been an openly gay, San Diegobased psychotherapist for about 20 years. Before that, I was a middle school counselor in San Francisco, preschool teacher in the Bronx, social worker for terminally ill children and their families at San Diego Hospice, helped parents regain custody of their kids for Children’s Protective Services, was as an intern for “Sesame Street” and – shortly after I came out – enjoyed a brief career as a go-go boy in a popular gay club in NYC (but that’s another column). I give you this background to let you know that I’ve been helping people of all ages with their mental health for about 40 years, in some way, shape or form. Recently, a friend asked me, “As a mental health professional for San Diego’s LGBTQ community, what is one of the most popular questions you get asked?” I thought that was a good question, and it didn’t take me long to answer it… (photo by pressphoto for freepik.com)
“How much sex should I be having?” quickly came to mind. It’s a good question; one that most of us
events @TheCenTer
are curious about. We want to know if we are “normal”; are we having the same amount of sex as most people in our situation? We want to know if we are having more than the average person (if so, “yay!” for us) or if we’re having less than the norm (in which case, what are we going to do about it?) Leaving the comparison factor aside – which is a challenge – how do we know how much sex we should be having? To help you answer this question, here are seven sexrelated questions I encourage my clients to ask themselves (I encourage you to write down your answers). 1. “How fulfilling is my sex life? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.” Be honest, no one else has to know. 2. “What about sex do I really enjoy?” Be specific.
new Year, new You!
3. “What about my sex life is lacking?” Another way to ask this is to say, “What’s missing?” or “What do I want more of?”
Take your sexual health and well-being into your own hands in 2020 and get tested at The San Diego LGBT Community Center. The Center offers the OraQuick HIV Rapid Antibody test, as well as the UCSD Early Test, a specialized viral load test that can detect acute/very early stage HIV infection as soon as one week after potential exposure. HCV (Hepatitis C) Rapid Antibody testing is also available. Clients can immediately be connected to counseling, care, and needed resources. Testing hours are Monday - Friday from 9am - 8pm (last appointment at 7pm), and Saturday from 10am - 3pm. All testing is free and confidential or anonymous. Appointments are preferred. For more information, visit thecentersd.org/programs/ bethegeneration or call 619.692.2077 x101.
Free hIV and hepC testing www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077
Twitter: @LGBTCenter
facebook.com/At.The.Center
4. “Do I want to have more sex more often? If so, with whom?” This may sound obvious – “Hell, yeah!” – but bear with me here. If I’m going on Grindr on a regular basis, am I meeting guys I really enjoy hooking up with? If I am going out to Gossip with my posse, am I meeting women I’m actually interested in? 5. “Am I using sex to avoid something?” Some of us use sex to avoid feeling lonely, angry, scared, confused…you name it. Sex can be a diver-
sion (like food, alcohol, drugs, etc.) and we use it to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. We think it’s easier to just get laid than it is to face what’s behind all that mediocre sex (it’s rarely great sex if it’s sexas-avoidance). Maybe it’s time to face your unhappiness and do something proactive about it, instead of trying to screw it away…just sayin’. 6. “What does sex really do for me?” Get me closer to my partner? Distract me from the job I hate? Make me feel attractive and desirable? Help me feel connected with another person/other people? Check your motivation. 7. The last of these seven questions may be the most productive: “Now that I know what I want, what am I going to do about it?” Do I need to tell my partner/friends with benefits/ booty calls/Grindr hookups? If so, how will I ask for what I want? Sex is a fascinating subject. I love helping my clients explore it and see how they can make their sexual/erotic life the way they truly want it to be without shame. We all deserve a rewarding and meaningful sex life. Every one of us has her/his/their own preferences, desires and pleasures. It can be a lot of fun to explore yours, whatever they are. Feel free to use these questions – and any other way(s) you can learn about/experiment with/be curious about sex – to make sex an enjoyable and important part of your life… because you deserve it.
lgbtqsd.news
COMMUNITY vOICes
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
BIg MIKe aND FrIeNDs Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.
I
really do enjoy this opportunity to introduce so many people who live in San Diego that have become my friends. I love the fact that I have this platform to share with those of you who stop and read my column (thank you, by the way) how wonderful these individuals are that I call my friends. It was 1996 and I was 37 years old, working at Rich’s as a bartender. Now try and picture this: There was no internet like it is today. We, as a community, would go out to the bars to socialize and to meet others in a safe LGBTQ environment. It was then that I met this beautiful underage boy (I didn’t know he was underage at the time, 19 to be exact) named Tali Lopez, who I found out later was sneaking into the club so he could dance. During that time, located next door to Rich’s, was a coffee house called Euphorbium that all the underage kids would go to, mostly gay kids that wanted to be around other gay people. It wasn’t till recently that Tali told me how he would get in undiscovered. See, in those days we didn’t have security like we do now. The front door person was the one who would check IDs and took the door cover for the evening. You can only imagine how many times mistakes were made. Oops? Tali was very clever; at that time, there was no smoking patio connected to the side door in the parking lot and Tali would get someone he knew to open that side door so he could slide in with the crowd. Those were the days when you got away with being cute and innocent, that’s for sure. Interesting fact about Tali’s name — his full name is Neftali Lopez. Neftali comes from the Bible, the origin of his name is Hebrew, which means, “one who helps in the struggle.” A full-blooded Puerto Rican born in the Bronx, New York, Tali moved to San Diego when he was only 4 years old in 1979. His parents had divorced by the time he was 2 years old, and his mother stayed in New York while his dad moved to San Diego to go to work with the company his grandfather worked for. Growing up with his dad’s side of the family, he was showered with love, especially by his grandparents who doted over his older sister Tamara and himself as little kids. Tali went to Rancho Bernardo High School and at 16, he “came out” as gay. Even though his grandparents were Jehovah’s Witnesses, they loved him unconditionally and never once did they shun Tali or make him feel like they didn’t love their grandson for exactly who he was. Tali was very fortunate to have that kind of family love and support especially when so many kids were not being accepted and instead, were thrown out of their homes for telling families they were gay. Over the years, while growing up and finding out who he was as an individual, Tali discovered the joy of becoming an artist. But finding that love came with a price in his life. No stranger to adversity, Tali had his fair share of demons. As do many young, gay men, he struggled with substance abuse for many years. Because of his abuse, he ended up in federal prison for five years, from 2006 to 2011. He can honestly say that even though it was a very dark time in his life, it saved his life. While in prison, his cell mate, another gay man,
San Diego artist
Tali Lopez Big Mike and Tali Lopez (corutesy photos)
was also an artist, a painter. Tali had never picked up a paint brush before in his life. So, with plenty of time on his hands, he startled doodling and playing around with his cell mate’s paints. He took to it like a fish in water. Alberto, Tali’s cell mate, was a realist painter, painting landscapes and portraits. But he quickly learned that this was not his style, what he really loved was abstract, expressionist and street art works such as those created by Basquiat. There are times when certain doors open, even the ones we do not want to open to learn and find our true self. After five years of serving his sentence in prison, he realized that he hadn’t been living the life he wanted to live, that’s where he learned to paint and has become his life’s passion today.
“Watching him grow into a loving and caring young man touches my heart. I admired how he gives back to this community by volunteering his time and donating his art to help raise needed money. Tali loves to surround himself with positive people that don’t take themselves too seriously. He loves to make those people he surrounds himself with laugh, he’s a goofball and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself.” — Big Mike Phillips
It’s 2011, Tali had come back to San Diego to start a new life and needed a job, I was working at Jimmy Carter’s Mexican Café at the time and trying to open Harvey Milk’s Diner during that time as well. I suggested he come in for an interview. In fact, shortly after that, he did come in for an interview and my business partners agreed with me that he would be a great fit for our restaurant. Now imagine this good looking, tall Puerto Rican with tattoos and his tight pants becoming a quick favorite to so many of our customers. Tali was eager to get back on his feet and start a new life for himself; he worked hard by picking up extra shifts, never going home early and encouraging others to come in to eat when he was working. By doing all of this, he was able to build up a huge clientele. He is the biggest sweetheart and once you meet and get to know him, you just can’t help but fall in love. Over the years, Tali has dedicated his time by becoming involved with different organizations to give back. One such group was GMSR, Gay Men’s Spiritual Retreat, where he sat on the board, and also committed to Stepping Stone of San Diego by
donating his time. He has also used what he loves to do most by sharing and donating paintings to fundraisers benefitting Being Alive and other organizations that help raise money for different charities. It was those years when he got home, that he continued to go to his meetings and get help through Stepping Stone that he met the love of his life Kyle Clifford, even going as far as to get him hired as a cook at Harvey Milk’s Diner. They have been together now over six years and married one year as of Oct. 13, 2019. Tali has never really had a real relationship with
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anyone before meeting Kyle. Not to say they don’t have their struggles like any other couples, but they make their marriage work. Just recently, Kyle joined the planning committee of The Recovery Ride, a charity bike ride that raises money for local San Diego nonprofit organizations in the areas of recovery from alcohol and drugs, and HIV/AIDS education and treatment. I, along with Tali, am so proud of him; he is so thrilled to be giving back to the community that has given so much to both of them. This is Kyle’s very first fundraiser — if you would like to help support him and The Recovery Ride, please go to: Join.therecoveryride.org/ KyleLopez. I know he would truly appreciate your generosity. They both are happy living together in Mission Hills with their two beautiful dogs Alexander and Hamilton. Nowadays, you can find Tali waiting tables at Jimmy Carter’s Mexican Cafe. He has been a server there since 2014. He can honestly say that’s he loves his job and the people he works with. Tali brags about having the best boss anyone can ask for. Jimmy Carter is one the most generous, caring and compassionate people he has ever met, let alone worked for. It’s hard to compete with that, I also worked for Jimmy Carter and I would have to agree 100% with Tali. Just to give one example, Jimmy Carter closed his restaurant on a Saturday night, one of the busiest and most profitable nights, just so all of his coworkers could attend their wedding. Tali did not ask Jimmy to do this, he did it out of the kindness of his heart and to show his support for Tali and the LGBTQ community. That speaks volumes about the kind of person that Tali works for. Big mike and friends continues on Page 17
All are
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COMMUNITY vOICes
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
lgbtqsd.news
The C wOrD … COMMUNITY Tootie —Tootie is synonymous with Lips, executive director at the El Cajon Boulevard Business Improvement Association, and chair of the Mid-City Community Parking District, vegan and mahu. Contact Tootie at Nefertootie@gmail.com.
S
ervice comes in so many forms, you just need to know you want to get involved. It may be just a whim to want to join a community cleanup like what happens at The Homebrewer on Tuesdays on The Boulevard. Free beer! Or like my boyfriend and a friend of his used to make sandwiches and distribute them to the homeless population that camp out in the East Village. Sometimes our community service grows out of a job or business endeavor, or sometimes it grows into one. Rodney Schwan has made caring for others with his healing hands his life’s work for 20-plus years. In the early days of the AIDS crisis, San Diego provided a landing pad for people who made their way to Mexico, specifically Tijuana for experimental treatment and cancer treatment. The desperation caused people suffering with their diagnosis to seek out treatment that hadn’t gone through rigorous testing in the U.S. and drugs that “might” work and was cheaper than AZT. This is before the “cocktails” and way before PrEP and most treatments failed, some quickly and some took time. These people ended up at a spa to recuperate where Rodney was working doing massage and skin care. “The treatments there guided me to volunteer and introduce aromatherapy, massage, reflexology, music and energy therapies.”
comes with commitment “Our commitment to helping others, volunteering and community services leads us to our purpose.” — Rodney
(photo by Tootie)
Rodney already had some experience in working with AIDS patients while training with aromatherapy in 1992 in London. “I was introduced to how aromatherapy, massage and compassionate care could help AIDS patients.” He found that these therapies were very useful for a variety of symptoms and pain. His ongoing studies led him through San Francisco, Sacramento and then San Diego, all the while volunteering within the community and using his increasing knowledge to do symptom management. Rodney presented 68 case studies showing the efficacy of these modalities and gained more and more people to serve. One case stands out: a patient in a coma woke up while Rodney was tending to him and while holding his hand he said, “This is your purpose Rodney.” His family was outside a quarantine room at UCSD medical center. The family was then able to connect with love and process their goodbye.
Our commitment to helping others, volunteering and community services leads us to our purpose. “As a volunteer, there was a patient who was diagnosed end-stage AIDS. Aromatherapy and holistic energy helped him with cognitive memory care. He lost his eyesight but recovered and survived for years. He came back five years later to celebrate with a cake.” Service to others or our communities, our neighborhoods clears the way to understanding what we would do for free is what we enjoy doing. There’s been pushback on the old adage, “Do what you love, and the money will follow,” almost since it was verbalized. Yet it makes complete sense that true success comes through complete commitment. Rodney committed his study, work and then his free time to using the tools of aromatherapy, and body work into hospice and palliative care. His involvement with hospice came by way of a skincare client Blair Bloom,
who was head of the foundation at San Diego Hospice and opened the door to his volunteering there. They worked to acquire grants to start the program. This led to more and more opportunities for service and eventually a business. “Back in 1997, my volunteerism transitioned into a grant-funded program to develop a sustainable aromatherapy and integrative medical program, which then went into being fully funded through 2013.” He was also able to pass on the good work to teach others through his work with medical professionals. “We had doctors from around the world come and train to certify and pass medical board certification in Palliative Medicine. This continued on after the closure of SD Hospice through UCSD and Scripps Medical.” Never thinking about where we end up, we set off on just doing a good thing. Good for the people we are trying to help or the issue, and good for us who find so much happiness in the act of giving. Rodney’s lineage in natural medicine can be traced back to his grandmother, “My grandmother was an RN assistant and mountain herbal medicine woman. She also guided me into hospice and encouraged me along the way.” He’s been there for others, their families and his very own. His mother went into hospice and his father had brain cancer. Acceptance by our friends and family is so important and while they don’t totally understand the level of our commitment to a cause they can help so much by just supporting, Rodney’s support came from his dad’s understanding. “My father finally got what I was doing while caring for his end-stage brain cancer. He taught me what patients actually need.” Caring for seniors is so rewarding for Rodney. “Being present and volunteering to elderly is the most heart- and soul-rewarding, soul-learning experience of all. Every day I learn and pay their wisdoms forward within SD community.” There are so many ways to get involved and make a difference in someone else’s life at whatever stage. If you’ve been inspired, Rodney can offer opportunities through contacting him at his email, rodneyschwan@me.com.
lgbtqsd.news
COMMUNITY vOICes
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
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The rainbow in us all
TraNs TaLK wITh CONNOr Connor Maddocks —Connor Maddocks has been a civil rights advocate in the San Diego transgender community for years. He does trainings on legal and personal transition information. He continues his work, even though he is now retired. Contact Conner at Neon411@gmail.com.
Y
esterday in beautiful Hillcrest, as hundreds of community folks gathered around, the very first rainbow crosswalk was unveiled in front of the Hillcrest Pride Flag/ Memorial. There were wonderful speakers and then the time came for the ribbon cutting. People jumped right in to be the first to do the catwalk on the crosswalk. I was amazed at how many people were there, from our high-level politicians to all our neighbors. These are the kind of events I love to attend. Everyone is smiling, happy to be there, seeing old friends and meeting new ones. I am surrounded by happy voices. It is these moments that give me a glimpse of “what could be” if we just stopped looking for differences and started looking for what we have in common. It has been a long, slow road for the trans community; to finally be at a point that these ceremonies and special events really are inclusive. When I see the trans flag on the sidewalk next to the Pride flag, I think it’s so beautiful, and I consider it inclusion. When I see the brown stripe on the flag, I see another example of inclusion. Now if we can just take it a step further. If it’s appropriate, do you have trans members in your group? If you are a sports team, do you have trans folks playing alongside you? I could name many more, but I think you get the gist of it. How about our folks of color? Have you made the road to your organization easy to follow? Is there bullying? I am so shocked to hear about bullying and threats being made to people right now, but why should I think it’s any different? Why do I believe that it’s only the trans community and the gay community, the people of color, nonbinary, etc. — it goes on and on. I guess it happens any time with people from different experiences, or in our case what is it? Gays only want to hang out with other gays, lesbians with lesbians and trans folks, etc. You get the idea. I think we should have more inclusive social gatherings and events where people can really get to know each other. We could be real
San Diego’s Gay Mens Chorus and San Diego women’s chorus sing together at the rainbow crosswalk celebrations (photos by Big Mike Phillips)
neighbors, real community members. I remember when I first came to San Diego back in 2003. I came to help my parents; my mother was in a nursing home due to a massive stroke and my Dad, who at 84 was a stalwart companion, chose to go every day to sit by her side from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., seven days a week. My job was to drive him there and stay because I had nothing better to do. I would go to physical therapy with her sometimes, watch her struggle. A month after I got here, she passed away. So now what would I do with my time? I went to the The Center and asked about transgender services. At the time, they didn’t even understand what I was talking about.
I finally found a men’s group and it was wonderful. I asked them if they had ever tried to go to The Center to meet there; they said they were not welcome there and they would never go back. A year later, we lost our meeting spot so what were we to do? Thankfully, I had been doing some transgender workshops with the Center’s public policy person, AJ Davis. Our workshops were great, and many trans folks came to them despite being told not to go near the center. I asked my men’s group to move to The Center but it took some serious work and promises. If they didn’t like it, we could leave. If they did like it, we could do more
things. This is how I build community: reaching out to folks and getting them onboard. The Saturday group I believe was there first, then the FTM/SO group. Here we were in the LGBTQ Center, the men’s group was in the library, and the women’s group was meeting in the other group room. And no one talked after their meetings. It’s sad that all that time, now lost, we could have been meeting new friends and learning about what it is to be the L, G, B, T and the Q. I am hopeful that the current trend of wanting to get to know and helping each other out, if practiced, can make a big change in our neighborhoods, and a huge change in our lives.
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eNTerTaINMeNT
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
lgbtqsd.news
W
hen you love life as much as Leslie Jordan does, you are eager to share your journey. The aw-shucks dynamo is bringing his Southern sass to the stage at Martinis Above Fourth on Jan. 29-30, so we caught up with him for a revealing preview. “It’s stories about a little boy who fell out of the womb and landed in his mama’s high heels!” giggled Jordan. “I ended up in Hollywood in a time when it wasn’t really kosher to be gay. I’ve always had gay agents, it’s the weirdest thing. Even as early as ’82, when I got to Hollywood, I remember my agent telling me, ‘You keep your feet on the ground, honey. Keep your hands at your side and you put your voice in the lower register.’ It’s kinda the journey that I’ve taken in Hollywood.” But before Tinseltown was lucky enough to have him, Leslie sought a career in the equestrian arts – that’s a fancy term for horseracing, honey.
Crossing Jordan
the feaRleSS, emmy-wiNNiNg
leslie JorDan
CONqueRS maRtiNiS abOve fOuRth By Kevin Perry
within. Young gay people, you have got to vote. You’ve just got to. It is so important, this year especially. Don’t do like me, don’t wait till you’re 42! Please vote. You don’t think it matters, but it does. Oh, it matters.” Ever since he traded the booze for YAYs, Jordan’s world has truly opened up. “I wasn’t a very masculine kid; I wasn’t good at sports. I was asked a few years ago to throw the first pitch out for the Washington Nationals against the Chicago Cubs in memory of the people who were massacred at the Orlando nightclub. And I had never held a baseball in my life! So there’s this whole story of me, the little sissy kid, redeeming himself in front of 38,000 people, cuz I did really good!” Jordan said. The world is finally acknowledging the bubbly, boundless joy erupting from Leslie Jordan, but some people took their sweet time. “Straight guys used to come up to me
“A change has got to come from within. Young gay people, you have got to vote. You’ve just got to. It is so important, this year especially. Don’t do like me, don’t wait till you’re 42! Please vote. You don’t think it matters, but it does. Oh, it matters.” — Leslie Jordan
(courtesy photos)
leSlie JORDaN unforGeTTaBle ChaRaCteRS
BRoTHeR BoY “Sordid Lives” 2000
BeveRLeY LeSLIe “Will & Grace” 2001-2018
QuenTIn FLeMInG “AHS Coven” 2014
SID “The Cool Kids” 2019
“I’ve been riding my whole life. I started exercising racehorses on a tiny farm to get ‘em fit for the racetrack in Cartersville, Georgia. It was very near the house where I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. When the horses shipped in the fall to New York, I went with them. Literally, in the back of the horse van!” Jordan said. It was a wild ride indeed, but Jordan’s boundless enthusiasm was soon reined in by the entertainment industry’s lackadaisical pace. “When you’re a jockey, you’re waiting for that really good mount,” Jordan said. “Y’know, that really good horse. And when that really good horse comes along, you’re the same jockey that you were yesterday, but all of a sudden, everyone thinks you’re the best. And when I got into acting, I thought, ‘It’s the exact same.’ I’m just sitting here waiting for that one big part and when that one big part comes along, I’ll still be the same actor I was yesterday, but everyone will be applauding me.” While Leslie was searching for that ever-elusive breakthrough role, he took a toxic detour into the shadows of substance abuse. “I am in recovery from drugs and alcohol, that’s 22 years,” confided Jordan. “When I got sober at 42, I had never registered to vote. That is such a source of shame for me. We were just drinkin’ and druggin’ and who had time to vote? Who even woke up in time?” Pivoting from infectious laughter to introspection galore, Leslie beseeches, “A change has got to come from
and ask, ‘Hey, aren’t you on TV?’ And I’d tell ‘em I was on ‘Will & Grace,’ and they’d say, ‘My girlfriend watches that’ or ‘my wife watches that.’ They would never say ‘I watch that.’ But by the time we went off the air almost eight years later, there were guys out on the street, y’know, with the construction crews, yelling, ‘Hey, I love you on ‘Will & Grace.’’” Summoning the gravity of his role in LGBTQ history, Jordan punctuates, “That’s progress.” Never one to dwell on the somber, Leslie adds a sudden flourish of gleeful self-promotion. “Y’know, I won an Emmy – let me get that in real quick! When I won an Emmy, I really didn’t have a speech prepared because who knew I was gonna win? My God, I was up against Ben Stiller and Alec Baldwin and Patrick Stewart. But when I won, I said, ‘Y’know there’s two ways to combat homophobia. One is through humor. I learned that in dodgeball in junior high school! When they yelled, ‘Smear the queer!’ I was up there tap dancing to make ‘em laugh. And the other way is to put a face on it. With ‘Will & Grace,’ people allowed these four characters into their homes and we laughed and we loved and a lot of progress was made.” From his high-heeled birth to his eventual tap dance with destiny, Leslie Jordan has been leaving his footprints on gay culture for decades. To tiptoe through the triumphs with him, buy your tickets to “Over Exposed” at Martinis Above Fourth, January 29th and 30th. Otherwise, you’ll be filled with gin and regret.
CaLeNDar
lgbtqsd.news
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
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Jan17 30 JaN 3
RoCkY HoRRoR “The Rocky Horror Show” is now playing through March1 at the OB Playhouse & Theatre Company. An outrageous musical comedy featuring a Transylvanian transvestite, a cryogenically preserved zombie motor biker and Frankenstein’s monster in Greek god form. This sexual parody of horror and science fiction films premiered onstage in London in 1973, becoming the popular cult classic film The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1975. $32-$46. 4944 Newport Ave. obtheatrecompany.com
JaN 18 FoRePLAY SHoW A women power tour foreplay show at the Dub. I Nick named it the Dub for the W in women and warehouse, it’s a warehouse in Miramar, 7574 Trade Street, Suite B. A live comedy and music show that features all women performers in Celeste Barbier, Veronica May, Lauren Rachael, and the amazing Sean Wiggins all the way from Hollywood. All on one stage at the Dub. Pre-sale tickets on sale now for only $12 or $15 at the door. BYOB, food and beverage available for purchase. Support the Women PoWer Tour and women on stage. By buying tickets to this show, you get a $5 coupon code off the big show in Feb. Venmo me @Tonya-Armenakis for tickets. bit.ly/388qmXX
JaN 18 TRICk: TuRnS TWo TRICK is back to stay for 2020 every third Saturday! Trick San Diego is celebrating its 2nd birthday Jan. 18 at The Merrow with our two crowd favorites DJs Mateo Segade & Sindri from LA. You may remember a few months back these boys tag teaming sets Expect to vibe all night until 2 a.m. or go home early with a new Trick. As always we are providing free clothes check and the theme will be cakes! So serve them up and dance, dance, dance. Jockstraps encouraged or just whatever you feel you want to wear. Think sexy sleepwear attire or sophisticated sleaze. $10. 1271 University Ave. bit.ly/2FVwlDI
JaN 20
PAPA TonY’S FAReWeLL PARTY After hosting over 3.000 social events, this is Papa Tony’s last one. This event is my last opportunity for hugs and farewells from my beloved friends in the community. No charge for stopping by, starting at 5 p.m. for hugs and friendship. The restaurant is offering a $25-per-person buffet (which includes tax and tip) for dinner starting at 6 p.m. This is a great opportunity to add true friends to your life. How do I know? That’s how every event at this location turns out! DiMille’s Italian Restaurant, 3492 Adams Ave.
JaN 24
PRoJeCT TRAnS MovIe nIGHT Project Trans would like to formally invite you all to Movie Night at The Center. Come join us as we watch films that defy society’s norms and expectations. Watch a film whose protagonist’s life journey is a mirror reflection of our own community’s adversities and triumphs! Free. 6-7:30 p.m. 3909 Centre St.
JaN 24 SAn DIeGo kInGS CLuB It’s a new year!! Join the San Diego Kings Club as it kicks off 2020, and it enters into its 20th year! $7 gets you in at 7 p.m. show starts at 8! DJ Kinkyloops keeps the party going all night long! Don’t forget the Gossip Hotties keep the cool drinks coming. The Gossip Grill, 1220 University Ave. gossipgrill.com
JaN 26 GRAMMY AWARDS WARDS vIeWInG PARTY It’s the music industry’s biggest night - The Grammy’s! Come to Uptown Tavern and watch onscreen performances by some of music’s biggest artists, and root on your favorite award nominees! Hosted by Alicia Keys. 5-8 p.m. Uptown Tavern, 1236 University Ave. bit.ly/30nI1IJ
JaN 26 Ja
CBD FARMeR’S MARkeT & CRAFT SHoW Come join us for the CBD and Crafts Farmer’s Market at the Hillcrest Athletic Club. Sip on some free kombucha while meeting to hemp and CBD experts. CBD is legal and can enhance your health and hemp life! This is not just any farmer’s market but an experience on engaging in live music, local art vendors, entertainment and much more! Free. 1243 University Ave.
JaN 28 uPToWn PLAnneRS oPeRATIonS & ouTReACH CoMMITTee Add our first 2020 Operations Committee meeting to your calendar now. We’ll be discussing bylaw amendments and other CPG reforms. Agenda will be posted on our website, as always. All welcome to attend! Mission Hills/Knox Library 6-8 p.m. 215 W. Washington St.
JaN 29 Ja u unCoRkeD & MovIe unDeR THe STARS Join us in San Diego’s only urban oasis for movie night at insideOUT featuring “Dream Girls”. Get comfortable in our elevated lounge next to our fire pits or bring your own pillows and blankets. 1642, University Ave, Suite 100. Free. bit.ly/2Nu30Eq
JaN 29/30 LeSLIe JoRDAn oveR exPoSeD! In EXPOSED, Leslie Jordan invites his audiences behindthe-scenes of his childhood and career! Offering a charming an hilarious look-back at his life experience as a flamboyant youth raised as a Southern Baptist, as well as the “unbelievable real-life stories” and treasured anecdotes from his renowned stage and television performances. 8-9:30 p.m. $50. (Another performance Thursday, Jan. 30) Martinis Above Fourth Table + Stage. 3940 Fourth Ave. bit.ly/2QUNzY6
JaN 29
InFeRno Inferno is back at Flicks! With the hottest GoGo boys and DJ Taj on the decks! It’s the weekend you wont want to miss! No cover. 1017 University Ave.
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Q Puzzle an anaGram of CaTs aCross 1 have sex, with “around” 5 bankhead’s home, for short 9 macho doll 14 Shakespeare’s hathaway 15 Sherman hemsley sitcom 16 linney of “tales of the City” 17 balkan native 18 historic Stonewall event 19 like a bottom 20 She plays bombalurina in “Cats” 23 Saturn model 24 Rent contracts 25 Robert of “the brady bunch” 27 Org. that makes Stanley wear a cup? 28 Diana or grace 32 Streisand’s “funny girl” role 35 “glen or glenda: ___ two lives” 36 “i’ll pay” 37 Ref for woolf 38 poor Dick’s book? 41 fair grade 42 One way to have one’s meat 44 ___ were 45 visibly shocked 47 Nocturnal release 49 essen exclamation 50 Nine inches
51 Regard 54 Charlotte of “facts of life” 56 She plays Jennyanydots in “Cats” 60 land in the sea 62 pennsylvania city 63 glinda portrayer in “the wiz” 64 gertrude painter 65 Screwdriver, e.g. 66 Synagogue chests 67 Rainy country for eliza 68 “the ___ baltimore” 69 anagram of “cats,” and the theme of this puzzle DoWn 1 Sexually unrestrained 2 tatum of “the bad News bears” 3 One way to serve your meat 4 matt of “all the queen’s men” 5 bunghole’s place 6 Cockeyed 7 Cat’s cry 8 person in opposition 9 it makes bread spongy 10 Rugby star Roberts 11 She plays Old Deuteronomy in “Cats” 12 bite it 13 make money
21 actor milo of “Oz” 22 painter Kahlo 26 “the Name of the Rose” writer 28 like the nose on your face 29 musical based on “la bohËme” 30 Nemesis of tinkerbell 31 James baldwin’s the evidence of things Not ___ 32 make a hole in 33 get juice from a fruit 34 he plays macavity in “Cats” 35 britney Spears’ “___ Curious” 39 pop singer Cleo 40 Where to find lots of pricks 43 unusual power 46 whip the butts of but good 48 poet-novelist may 49 On top of that 51 “Cats” was based on his poems 52 gay former Nfl player tuaolo 53 abbey residents 54 torn and others 55 lickety-split 57 b in leviticus 58 ending with switch 59 One of the tweed drawers 61 thornton wilder, for one QSyndicate.com
Solutions on page 17
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
eNTerTaINMeNT
‘going to a Place where You already are’ Writen By Bekah Brunstetter Directed by Hannah Logan Jan. 17-Feb. 16 OnStage Playhouse 291 Third Avenue, Chula Vista
CharaCTers IN LOve aND CONFLICTs OF BeLIeFs By m.G. Perez senior reporter
T
he question of heaven and whether it exists is the starting point. OnStage Playhouse, billed as the only live theatrical stage in the South Bay, launches the new year with a warm and funny play about faith. “Going to a Place Where You Already Are” is written by Bekah Brunstetter. She is most widely known as a writerproducer for the sentimental hit NBC television show “This Is Us.” San Diego audiences have also seen her work in the 2018 La Jolla Playhouse production of “The Cake” which follows a religious conservative baker and her refusal to make a wedding cake for a lesbian couple. In “Going to a Place Where You Already Are,” Brunstetter also uses coupling with characters in love and in conflict with their beliefs. “She does a really good job of a balanced portrayal of different points of view. She’s really good at that,” says Hannah Logan, director of the Onstage Playhouse production opening Friday. Logan, herself, is a well-known theatrical force in the San Diego theatre community having presented her work at venues including the La Jolla Playhouse, San Diego Repertory Theatre and Diversionary Theatre. “She (Brunstetter) doesn’t tell you what to think. She lays out the scene with brilliantly crafted dialogue and lets the audience decide … that’s really great in any kind of art particularly theater,” Logan continues. In this play, the story includes two couples in their own worlds. An older married couple, Roberta and Joe, attending a funeral. Cut to a scene somewhere else and we meet a young woman named Ellie and her overnight lover Jonas. An enigmatic Angel is intertwined in both stories played by local veteran performer Patrick Mayuyu. We soon learn the Angel is out and proud. Mayuyu describes
the moment, “Roberta asks if he’s been in love. He admits it’s a ‘he’ and not a ‘she’ that he’s in love with.” With that, the playwright uses this character to nudge humans in the right direction as they face their adversities. “Hannah has really given me permission to play with the idea that the Angel is wise and loving, but also curious, joyful and playful.” OnStage Playhouse is an intimate 66 seat performance space that allows the audience to feel a direct connection with actors performing just a few feet from them. James P. Darvas has taken the helm as Artistic Director with an intention to grow the theater and increase the voice of artists. Darvas insists, “throughout history, different groups of people were told to keep quiet. I disagree with that. I want to hear them yell at the top of their lungs with what’s going on in their lives, their experiences, and once we listen to that we generally can understand we are all fighting for the same thing. It can open up a dialogue.” Later in the ambitious OSP Season, Darvas will take on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play “I Am My Own Wife” by Doug Wright based on conversations with Charlotte von Mahlsdorf. He has performed the one-person show before that tells the story of the East German transgender antique dealer who lives openly for years despite the threats of oncoming Nazi and Communist regimes.
“Going to a Place Where You Already Are” features JODY CATLIN as Roberta; MIGUEL GONGORA as Jonas; RICHARD RIVERA as Joe; HEATHER WARREN as Ellie; and PATRICK MAYUYU as the Angel. Tickets are available at onstageplayhouse.org or through the box office at 619-422-7787. A pay-what-you-can performance is scheduled for Thursday Jan. 23. No reservations. First come first serve for tickets. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. for an 8 p.m. curtain.
You never know who is watching over your shoulder. (l to r) Heather Warren, Miguel Gongora Jr., and Patrick Mayuyu join the cast of “GOING TO A PLACE WHERE YOU ALREADY ARE.” Opens Friday. (photo courtesy of OnStage Playhouse)
lgbtqsd.news
COMMUNITY vOICes
lgbtqsd.news
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
15
The question I posed for this week’s column sure opened up the floodgates! People are passionate about san Diego’s gayborhood Hillcrest, and they had a lot to say in response to this week’s question that i posed on facebook:
“If you had unlimited money/resources, what is one thing you would do to improve our gayborhood, hillcrest?”
BeNNY ON The BLOCK Benny Cartwright —Benny Cartwright is a local LGBT activist and Nicky Award’s 2018 Man of the Year and 2019 Best Writer/Columnist. Benny can be contacted at Benny.bc.cartwright@gmail.com.
B
eing someone who has been hanging out regularly in Hillcrest since at least 1995 as a teenager (fun fact: I like to call myself a “native Hillcrester” as I was born in what is now UC San Diego Medical Center in the neighborhood), I’ve seen a lot of change in the area over the past 25 years. When I first starting hanging in the gayborhood, Hillcrest was at its peak following the “gay gentrification” that had taken Hillcrest from a run-down urban neighborhood, to a fabulous destination with some of the most unique dining opportunities in the city, lots of shopping and boutiques. Hillcrest even had a Gap store at the corner of Fifth and University avenues for many years, and of course, all of the cool coffee shops, bars, and happening nightspots. The neighborhood is still pretty awesome, but things have changed. People are flocking back to urban living, and many other center city neighborhoods that were once run down, too, have come back. Most notably North Park and Little Italy, which are now known to be some of the hottest spots to live and play in the entire region. Hillcrest got a little left behind when the other nearby neighborhoods started to come up and has its own issues. Many noticed high turnover and vacancies in business storefronts, run down infrastructure, and of course, the challenges that being a neighborhood with a high population of unhoused neighbors brings. Don’t get me wrong. I still believe that Hillcrest is San Diego’s most fabulous neighborhood, but we’ve got work to do. Here’s what people had to say about what they would do to improve the neighborhood if their resources were unlimited:
First, there were those who want to see more social and support services for people in need. Jesse Fantoni would “house all the homeless.” Tryce Czyczynksa said she would “open a meeting/event space geared for women, trans and youth.” LaToya Langford would like to see affordable housing for those who are independently disabled noting that “it’s really hard to find a condo or a house under Section 8 these days for those who are independently disabled.” Jae Red Rose is interested in seeing a “trans homeless shelter and dropin center.” Andy Anderson would love to see more mental health resources including those for veterans available in the area. Michael Carr suggested “a shelter and rehabilitation center to help get some of the homeless off the street and into homes and jobs.” Joseph Santapaola suggested “building a large LGBT Center that offered evening programs like a cinema with cinema seating, board rooms for rent by local businesses for meetings, lots of office spaces but with an open concept to encourage collaboration between departments. On the opposite side or on top of create housing for youth not supported by other means as well as a stepping place for sober living and homeless.” Parking is a frequent complaint by many who live in or visit the neighborhood: Zach Hayes was the very first to comment on the post and suggested building a parking structure in the neighborhood, while Thomas Michael retorted, “there’s plenty of parking. You just need to be willing to park a few blocks away from your destination.” Brian Jaeger agreed with Hayes that there needs to be some sort of solution to the parking issue saying, “driving is a convenience and privacy and comfort issue. You’re in control of your schedule and safety. If a friend wants to come from Poway to have a drink with friends at Baja Betty’s, a car trip (evening) will take 15 minutes. Park and walk in. Bus? Train? How long does that take with how much effort, and with what reliability and safety? That’s the problem that needs to be solved.” Patrick Santana reminded people that the number of parking spaces in Hillcrest has only increased in recent years, contrary to what many believe based on the recent installation of bike lanes. “There have been over 300 parking spaces added by the Uptown Community Parking District to the Hillcrest area since the eastern University Avenue bike lanes were striped. Hillcrest today has more on-street parking spaces then it did two years ago. And at minimum another 40-70 spaces will be coming online in the next few years with the Normal Street Promenade,” said Santana. And on a related note, Andrew Caldejon said, “I’d build
streetcar lines not beholden to car traffic from Hillcrest to downtown, the airport, the airport, North Park, and University Heights.”
Others wanted to see infrastructure, landscaping, and arts and culture improvements. Noel Villagrana would like “more uniform landscaping throughout the neighborhood so you know it’s all Hillcrest.” Derek Soderholm wants “concrete decorative intersections and paver sidewalks.” Kathleen Connell would like to see “lots of trees [planted] everywhere.” Sue Heim agreed saying, “bring back some trees and greenery! All the trees cut down in recent years have ruined the skyline and raised the heat levels (no shade on asphalt streets).” Taj Al-Taji said, “I would invest in a large dog park with astroturf. The GLBTQ communities are avid dog lovers and we treat our pups like our babies.” Dan Soderberg had a few ideas related to these ideas, including, “Restore the village character. Try scraping off all the ugly plaster, tack-ons, plastic, and trendy weathered wood. Then restore the original beautiful facades many buildings once had. Get AT&T to move. Maybe utilize that space for centralized parking, put a city park on top of it. Make one section in Hillcrest closed to autos and make it a pedestrian mall — a la the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica.” And the “new” Hillcrest sign is a point of contention for some (quick history: the Hillcrest sign, which had gone dark for several decades in the late 20th century, was re-lit in 1984. It was a neon sign, but the Hillcrest Business Association had to replace it in 2011 with the LED sign that now hangs. The 1984 neon sign proudly hangs in the front room of Rich’s Nightclub now). Eric Hufford said, “Bring back the neon [Hillcrest] sign and get rid of the LED one!” Jeff Fleming agreed saying, “Absolutely! I love our pink, neon sign.” Taj Al-Taji reminded folks that they can always see the old neon sign inside of Rich’s but Hufford and Fleming stood strong on their opinions that they want to return a neon sign to the street. Sue Heim jumped in to say she agrees with Hufford and loves the neon but reminded folks that “[the neon sign] is just not environmentally friendly or cost effective.”
On politics Jon Philips said, “I’ve lived in Hillcrest over 30 years, it has changed a lot. I wish we had better representation in the city, there are too many politicians with their own agendas, not caring about the citizens that voted for them.” On street crossings Fleming, quoted above regarding the Hillcrest sign, also had a fun suggestion about pedestrian crossings. “Change all the crosswalk recordings to RuPaul’s voice saying ‘Sashay across Fifth [Avenue], honey!’” said Fleming. Noah Cohen added that the don’t walk signal should say “Shantay you stay.” Other fun ideas include “A roller disco,” suggested by Clarione Guttierez. “A 50-ft. bronze sculpture of Nicole Murray Ramirez [this paper’s associate publisher] holding Kylie Minogue on a unicorn,” suggested by Eric Hufford. “A decent size resort style hotel,” said Justin Parker, And the ever fun Chris Andino suggested “more bathhouses.” And one person just wants peace Luke Terpstra, one of Hillcrest’s friendliest residents, who served as the chair of the Hillcrest Town Council for nearly seven years, had a wonderful suggestion. “Getting everyone a place to live in peace and harmony.” I definitely support that! As you can see, people love our gayborhood and want to see the best for it! I look forward to working together with all sorts of groups like the Hillcrest Business Association, the Hillcrest Town Council, the newly forming Friends of Hillcrest (I’ll share more on that soon), our City Council office, and all of our community members to see the neighborhood we want to see!
If you want to see all of the comments that were made, and the vibrant discussions that were had, feel free to check out the public Facebook post on my page at this link: bit.ly/30doASR.
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
eNTerTaINMeNT
lgbtqsd.news
(courtesy photos)
a private mens health club
Club san Diego re-branding focusing on fun, safety and well-being By m.G. Perez senior reporter
T
he new year brings a new look and a new attitude to Club San Diego. The Hillcrest mens health club at 3955 Fourth Ave. has been an established sexual playground since it opened in 1982. As a private members-only club (daily memberships available, free memberships to active or retired military), it operates under strict city regulations and has for years been known as the non-descript mystery building. “It’s our ‘coming out’ year,” said Club San Diego (CSD) Manager Richard Watts. Watts is leading the club’s rebranding and renovation efforts which initially started in 2018. Last May, a fire triggered by fumes from improperly stored paint rags during the $400,000 construction renovation, shut down the operation. The accident gave club management an unexpected opportunity to regroup and reenergize the CSD rebranding. Doors opened again for business in late October and patrons have since experienced the gradual rollout of new services and cosmetic improvements now in full force. Watts continued, “We want to be the ‘phoenix rising from the ashes’ and attract the new generation that doesn’t see sex the same way as we did back in the day.” The new marketing campaign includes sex-positive messages promoting a more community-minded business. The official slogan describes CSD as “a health club where men can enjoy and connect with other men in a safe environment permitting nudity, fantasy and feelings to be explored. Make a friend for an hour or a lifetime.” Health and the well-being of patrons are a priority for the management team. The newly designed lobby presents a welcoming, clean, fresh environment along with prominent signage of a zero drug and alcohol tolerance policy. Violation of that policy, stalking patrons while on property or taking photographs can lead to a lifetime ban from the facility. In the new year, Club San Diego is also partnering with the AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), the STI treatment clinic and specialty pharmacy with a branch conveniently located across the street at 3940 Fourth Ave. AHF specializes in PrEP, PEP, and HIV treatment.
Hookups =
Visit www.squirt.org to hook up today
lgbtqsd.news
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
eNTerTaINMeNT/COMMUNITY vOICes/BUsINess & servICes
Big mike and friends continued from Page 9
Through specific funding sources, the nonprofit pharmacy can see people regardless of the ability to pay or lack of insurance. It offers a treatment commonly known as a “morning after pill,” which could benefit members of CSD who feel they may have made unhealthy choices. According to Joshua Kessler, AHF pharmacy specialist, “the medication you are referring to is known as PEP, which stands for post exposure prophylactics. If possibly exposed to HIV and not on PrEP, then a person would be able to get PEP, which must be taken with 72 hours of exposure. Taking PEP will block the possibility of contracting HIV.” For more information, go to ahfpharmacy.org. Following last year’s fire, the CSD management team turned to other mens health clubs/sauna owners for support and inspiration — in particular, the Midtown Spa in Los Angeles, which heavily promotes health and social events to encourage business as it does in its other locations near San Pedro and Denver. At CSD, the weekly special events now include a Movie Night Monday, Woof Thursday (catering to the bear community with food and fun), and Fantasy Friday (for fetish and toy play). There is also a barely legal discount with a free six-month membership for patrons ages 18 to 21 years old and college students 25 years old and younger with valid student identification.
“The younger generation doesn’t want sex and play in a seedy environment. They want to socialize and meet up,” said Watts in his description of the club’s rebranding. “We want to be more community minded and develop long-term members.” The safe space environment now extends to the club’s employees, too. Last year, the entire staffing was restructured in order to implement more rigorous hiring requirements. They were all encouraged to reapply under the new standards which include random drug testing and a skill set with knowledge of technology and social media. The club now has a staff of 15 full-time employees and one part-time worker. Many of them with a college degree or who are pursing higher education. Starting this week, CSD will host a Wednesday night “GAY-mer” event from 8 p.m. to midnight led by a professional video game master with tournaments planned for the future. Other updates can be found on the growing CSD social media platforms and the new website at clubsandiego. com. The club is also making a pitch this year to have its first float ever in the San Diego Pride Parade as an attempt to change its image and come out of the closet. “It’s about time,” quipped Watts, “When you pick up someone at the bar or need a place to ‘host’ … we are your safe place to have some fun without any worries.”
BUsINess & servICes
San Diego artist Tali Lopez and some of his pieces (corutesy photos)
aTTOrNeY
There is so much I love about Tali, one is our friendship, he is like my younger brother, he is part of my family. Watching him grow into a loving and caring young man touches my heart. I admired how he gives back to this community by volunteering his time and donating his art to help raise needed money. Tali loves to surround himself with positive people that don’t take themselves too seriously. He loves to make those people he surrounds himself with laugh, he’s a goofball and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself. He always keeps the joy alive while you’re with him. I asked Tali to give me a quote to leave with those who read this column about him. In his own words, “Getting sober is the best thing that I have ever done to take care of myself. And even though
life has shown me things that I never wanted to see, it made me the person that I am today, and I wouldn’t change one single thing. Life has knocked me down a few times, it has shown me things I never wanted to see. But one thing is for sure ... I always get back up.” And getting back up is exactly what has happened as he inspires young artists, his friends and his community that we are all are art, a creation of beauty. Like I always say, “Good art doesn’t match your coach.” Be your original self. Thanks, Tali, we all look forward to seeing what beauty your brushes will create in the future.
COMPUTer/IT sUPPOrT
To contact Tali for his artwork or even commission him, Neftalisworld@gmail.com Website: Talilopez.com
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
NIghT LIFe: The Bar sOCIaL sCeNe
lgbtqsd.news
so no one told you life was going to be this way... I’ve come to realize that friends always do come and go, and the desire to build new friendships can be draining. At least for me, making connections in the bar feels less like building and more like maintaining a status quo.
hOUsTON, we have a PrOBLeM
— Korie Houston
Korie houston —Korie has worked within the LGBTQIA+ community since coming out in college in 2014. With five-plus years of experience working with marginalized communities in various positions such as a peer educator at California State University San Marcos’ Gender Equity Center, a writer at the RAGE Monthly Magazine and as a host at Baja Betty’s. He currently works at University of California San Diego providing support to students. His journey as an undergraduate student at CSUSM provided him the skillset and depth he has in his current role.
A
A common saying tells us that you have three kinds of friends: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime. I’m fortunate enough to have some friends who I believe could be friends for life, but I also have a lot of people who I would consider just friends for a season. Some of these people are folks who I’ve met out at a bar. We share stories, laughs and some fond memories, but sometimes there’s that thought: Is this person really my friend? Going out is such a staple of adult life for many people over the age of 21, and yet with so many people around you, it can also be a lonely experience. There is no universal experience to friendship, and with that sentiment, what does it mean to establish meaningful relationships in the bar scene? There’s such an appeal to friends at the bar. They’re usually low maintenance, up to grab a drink and chances are you’ll already be going to the same place. It’s an easy approach to friendship, but would this friendship have any meaning (beyond a brief greeting and exchange of pleasantries) if you saw them outside of your shared drinking spot? Let’s break it down for you. We’ll use pop culture references to paint this picture. In television shows like “Friends,” “How I Met Your Mother” and “Cheers” (to name a few), their characters routinely meet in one central location, whether it’s a bar or coffee shop. Television takes this idea of bar regulars and turns it into a staple of their daily lives. But, I always ask myself, how are these people able to find time almost daily to be with their friends? They usually all met in their respective locations (with the exception of those with sordid back stories) and hit it off, almost instantly becoming best of friends. Yet their friendships persist and transcend past the bar scene. It’s exciting and makes for decent, easy-to-follow television, but does this set an unrealistic standard for people going out? In the real world, anyone with a few years of adulthood behind them realizes that friendship is a little more complicated, and few friendships reach that level of intimacy (and those that do are hard to maintain with the pressures of adult life). I have relationships with all sorts of people from the bars I frequent (Baja Betty’s, Gossip Grill and Redwing to name a few). People there truly treat me like family. But, in these same places I have people who I see that I don’t really know, yet there’s this appearance that we’re close. We hug; we sing songs and share conversations in a space that usually lends itself more for loudness and camaraderie. But, that’s what you look for when you’re out in the scene, isn’t it? The answer to all of these questions is pretty nuanced. In my own experience, I love meeting new people and forging connections, but, at the same time, it can feel a little stagnant. As someone who’s lived in San Diego from elementary to college,
ToP five TiPs on maKinG ConneCTions: (photo by freepik.com)
I’ve always felt like I’ve had an easier time with maintaining a social life. But, as time has gone on, I’ve come to realize that friends always do come and go, and the desire to build new friendships can be draining. At least for me, making connections in the bar feels less like building and more like maintaining a status quo. There are no expectations other than be here at this time and have some cocktails or a coffee or whatever gets your night going. In a sense, it feels like they take on the role of fixtures in a routine. If I were going through a hard time and needed a close friend to confide in, these are not likely to be the friends I would call upon. At this point, if you’re unsure who among your friends are bar friends, think about the types of people you talk to on a regular basis. If you tend to only exchange texts to plan what time you’re going to the same place
night after night, there’s one of your answers. If it’s hard for you to picture what they might look like in daylight, that’s also a sign. They’re usually people you know where your lives are connected through one place. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re still connected, just in a different way. You may not have a friendship that would give the “Golden Girls” a run for their money, but bar friendships are rewarding in other ways. The biggest is reliability. You know that, going to your favorite bar, you will almost certainly have the relief of knowing someone in the room who you can chat to and laugh with, even if you’ve only chatted in passing before. The bar regulars you connect with, like all friendships, can be complex. Yet these friendships, like all the others, hold a central location in the diverse patchwork of social connections that we maintain. At least I like to think they do.
1. Don’t be afraid to get to know the staff at whatever establishment you go to. it frequently helps with the process of connecting with patrons. 2. life isn’t like tv and movies. Relationship building takes time and work. 3. as the “friends” theme song states, “So no one told you life was gonna be this way.” life is unpredictable, and so are the people that you meet. be open to finding what you least expect in the seemingly strangest of humans. 4. bars are loud, and so are the people. when you’re going out, it’s bound to happen that you may not get to have those deep, beyond-the-surface conversations. Change your expectations. 5. there’s an appeal to nightlife, but don’t be afraid to make the right connections with friends that maybe do more for you than just meet you out at “the club” at midnight. bar friends can be enriching, but having only bar friends in your life can also be lonely.
Your guide to night life adventures
weDs
CLuB SAn DIeGo Gaymer Wednesdays The newly remodels Club San Diego is expanding the fun you can have when you visit with weekly theme nights. Super smash bros., Mario Kart, and so much more! Show off your gaymer skills! 8p.m.-1a.m.
ThUrs
THe LoFT 80’s night Dance and sing your heart out to totally 80’s pop, new wave, hip-hop, movie sound tracks, and MTV hits from the 80’s. Hosted by Bobby Gordon with Big Gay Sing Along San Diego! 7-11p.m. no cover
JaN 22
Mo’S Dreamgirls Revue One of the best Drag Shows in San Diego featuring the one and only Chad Michaels! Cast changes weekly, but the same amazing experience. Floor opens at 7PM for drinks and Dinner, show starts at 8p.m.
JaN 25
Mo’S & CLuB SAn DIeGo Harness BLACkouT they turn off the lights and turn up the fun! the harness gogos ready to get wild. 9pm-2am cover 8 dollars till 10pm 10 dollars after. Check out Harness After Party at Club San Diego starting at 12!
JaN 31
#1 FIFTH Avenue Barbie’s Doll House Join Barbie Z and her cast of talented dolls for the first show of the year. Always a changing cast of performers to keep it fresh and fun. #1 Fifth Avenue is the place to be for drinks fun and no cover. 8:30 p.m.
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DeeP e INLsLIYD wO OD hO
e n te o s a n v ic By rome
‘MRS. DOUBTFIRE’ COMES TO BROADWAY IN 2020
Someone, somewhere, is keeping count of all the movies turned into Broadway musicals. We aren’t, obviously, though we see what’s going on, and therefore we will call 2020’s “Mrs. Doubtfire” the official umpteenth film-to-the-boards production Broadway has hosted to date. With early plans for a movie sequel scuttled after the untimely death of Robin Williams, this all-singing, all-dancing version is a way to keep the property alive and remind people of the sweetly strange ’90s family comedy about a man who performs in elaborate professional drag as nanny to his own children in an effort to subvert family court visitation rules. 2013 Tony Award nominee for “Chaplin” Rob McClure is going to take on the title role (he also co-starred in another movie-to-stage adaptation, “Beetlejuice, the Musical”) and all the heavy lifting of prosthetic makeup and padded bodysuit costuming that goes with it. Directed by Jerry Zaks, the show begins previews in November through the end of the year, with its Broadway run kicking off in April 2020 at the Stephen Sondheim Theatre. And call us sentimental, but unlike so many of the other movies that have found themselves suddenly saddled with showtunes, we’re kind of rooting for this one.
BRIAN MICHAEL SMITH GETS PAID TWICE
Put this man in the One To Watch category. His name is Brian Michael Smith, and he’s a transgender actor whose name you understandably might not know quite yet. Smith’s been in that dues-paying part of an actor’s life, working his way through occasional recurring roles in series like “Queen Sugar,” where he played a trans police officer. But he’s about to become much more visible, with not one but two new shows waiting in the wings. Smith will be a featured recurring character on the upcoming Showtime series, “L Word: Generation Q,” where trans character storylines are reported to be a more substantial and thoughtful part of the mix than on the original series. Smith will also be a series regular on Fox’s upcoming “9-1-1” spin-off, “9-1-1: Lone Star.” It’ll be the same premise as the original show – people barely surviving enormous natural and mechanical disasters – only in Texas. That means more guns, probably? Probably. “LW:GQ” hits Showtime in December, while “9-1-1: LS” is slated for some time in 2020.
COLIN FIRTH AND STANLEY TUCCI FORM A QUEER ‘SUPERNOVA’
The road trip movie is a tricky one to pull off in the world of independent cinema. It’s a go-to form and it’s been done to death. But then along comes news of a film in which Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci play a longtime gay couple confronting the uncertainties of aging, and we’re giving it the spiritual green light to fill our hearts. It’s called “Supernova,” the second feature from filmmaker Harry Macqueen, and it’s set in England as a gay couple travel around the country in an RV, visiting friends, family and places from their shared life together. The catch is that Tucci’s character has been diagnosed with early onset dementia, so in many ways it’s a farewell tour. Queer stories on film, though still a minority, are far more plentiful in this new century than at any other time in movie history. Even so, stories of elder queer couples, and the way they navigate the challenges of that stage of life, are rare, and we’ll be buying opening weekend tickets, carrying a box of tissues. Also, call us shallow or thirsty or whatever, but we’re also more than a little enthusiastic over the idea of watching Tucci and Firth being homo-romantic. 2020 can’t come soon enough.
JIM PARSONS BRINGS ‘EQUAL’ TO HBO MAx
It’s a producer’s life for Jim Parsons lately, as he and Greg Berlanti (“Love, Simon”) prepare to bring “Equal,” a new LGBTQ-focused docuseries, to HBO Max, the upcoming streaming service due to launch in the spring of 2020. The four-part series will cover highlights of the queer civil rights movement, both the landmark events and the significant, if sometimes unsung, figures who worked to make history. Through a combination of re-enactments and previously unseen archival footage, “Equal” will explore the lives and activism of Mattachine Society founder Harry Hay; Christine Jorgensen, the transgender woman who publicly transitioned in 1951; gay rights and African American civil rights leader Bayard Rustin; and the lesbian civil rights group Daughters of Bilitis. There’ve been some imperfect – and in some cases, such as the recent feature film “Stonewall,” thoroughly embarrassing – attempts at presenting queer history to contemporary queer audiences. But in between seasons of “The Great British Bake Off,” we live in hope for good television of any sort, so if it also happens to be queer then we’ll call it a double win.
Romeo San Vicente is old enough to be a (still quite handsome) historical figure. (courtesy photos)
January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
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January 17 - 30, 2020 volume 1 issue 8
OUT & aBOUT
lgbtqsd.news
the hiStORy behiND the
RAINBOW CROSSWALK
T
lGBTQ san Diego County news
he first rainbow city crosswalk was actually done in Tel-Aviv, Israel. In 2012, when West Hollywood got its rainbow crosswalk, it drew the attention of San Diego LGBTQ activist Eddie Reynoso and the late Michael Calles aka Giggles, “Miss Tantrum and Tiaras.” In 2012, then-Councilman Todd Gloria was already working with the San Diego County GLBT Historic Task Force to establish Harvey Milk Street, the first in the nation. Gloria was also working with Stefan Chicote, Jonathan Hale and the Hillcrest Business Association to establish the rainbow flag and LGBT history monument at University Avenue and Normal Street. From 2013 on, Reynoso never stopped lobbying city officials and San Diego LGBTQ leaders and businesspeople about Hillcrest joining other major cities and establishing a rainbow crosswalk, even attending City Council and their subcommittee meetings. As City Councilman Chris Ward said, “Eddie Reynoso was constantly pushing this project.” In 2016, Reynoso established the Hillcrest Arts Committee and soon established a solid working relationship with Brittany Bailey (a top aide to Councilman Ward), who then became a major backer of the street project as well as Ward and top council aides Molly Chase and Tyler Renner. Soon, Mayor Kevin Faulconer and his staff also became supporters of the rainbow crosswalk project, and as they say, the rest is history. This past Saturday, after more than a decade of lobbying, in Hillcrest, the rainbow crosswalk was finally dedicated with a huge celebration that drew nearly 1,000 people. Speakers included state Senate President Toni Atkins, state Assemblyman Majority Whip Todd Gloria, Mayor Faulconer, Councilman Ward who also emceed the event, and the “Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest” City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez. Both the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus and the San Diego Women’s Chorus performed as well as special drag queen performances led by the infamous “Tootie” of Lips Nightclub. Mayor Faulconer and “Honorary Mayor” Murray Ramirez were given the honor to walk across the rainbow after the official ribbon-cutting ceremony that was also attended by Congresswoman Susan Davis, state Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez, County Supervisor Nathan Fletcher, City Council President Georgette Gomez, City Council member Dr. Jen Campbell and LGBTQ leaders Cara Dessert, Fernando Lopez, Susan Jester, Big Mike Phillips, Nick Serrano and many others. The next major project that Councilman Ward and his staff, as well as Hillcrest civic leaders, are working on is “Pride Plaza,” which will acknowledge the Italian community, education community, labor unions, the LGBTQ community veterans who all have history in Hillcrest, as well as the San Diego Trolley. “After nearly a decade of community advocacy, I am proud that we have made this symbol of LGBTQ pride a reality. Our community has gathered to stand with people of color, with people of all religions, with people of all gender identities and sexual orientations to visibly demonstrate that San Diego is a place of acceptance and love,” said Ward.
rainbow Crosswalk Installation & Community Celebration (by Big Mike Phillips)