LGBTQ San Diego County News, Volume 1, Issue 12, March 13-26, 2020 by Lgbtqsdnews

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March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

MarCH 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

enteRtainMent

Tom Goss Live at Martinis Above Fourth C10

on stage La Cage Aux Folles at Cygnet Theatre C12

lGBTQsD.NeWs

Conversations with Nicole C7

Life Beyond Therapy C8

My Good Tootie C14

Trans Talk with Connor C15

Somos LGBTQ Film Show Case at the San Diego Latino Film Festival C11 City Attorney News Using California’s Red Flag Law to combat hate crimes C6

night liFe

CoMMunity VoiCes

Big Mike & Friends C9 Out of the Archives C16

The Bar Social Scene Nightlife for working professionals C18 North County A Latinx Flag Flourishing C5

CeleBRating

What you see is not alWays What you get:

WoMens histoRy Month exPlorinG the her-story of women’s riGhts

Gay men who look in the mirror and lie to themselves

By Paula J. luttrell uttrell

n 1987, Congress declared March as National Women’s History Month in perpetuity. A special presidential proclamation is issued every year, which honors the extraordinary achievements of American women. The first steps to reach this came in February 1980, when President Jimmy Carter declared the week of March 8 as National Women’s History Week. By 1986, 14 states had declared March as National Women’s History Month. This year will also mark the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution, which prohibits the states and the federal government from denying the right to vote on the basis of gender. Initially introduced to Congress in 1878, several attempts to pass a women’s suffrage amendment failed until passing the House of Representatives on May 21, 1919, followed by the Senate in June of the same year. It was submitted to the states for ratification on Aug. 18, 1920; Tennessee became the last of the necessary 36 states needed to secure ratification. The 19th Amendment was officially adopted on Aug. 26, 1920; the culmination of a decadeslong movement for women’s suffrage.

By M.G. Perez senior reporter

nthony Ward, aka “Torch,” has a story to tell. The 29-year-old gay man is a survivor of drug abuse, alcoholism and the addiction of self-hatred disguised as a very poor body image. He says, “[The name ‘Torch’] was given to me by an ex-boyfriend because of my personality. It continued while I was using and promoting clubs and involved in other exotic activities.” Those activities included a dismal collapse into the underbelly of the PnP (party and play) subculture plaguing the LGBTQ community worldwide. He used crystal meth and the highly intoxicating drug GHB for enhanced sexual encounters. “I call it my drug destruction,” Ward reflects. “It was the destruction of my life, my spirit, my emotions and my family. It took me places I thought I’d never go. I worked out my body at the gym regularly and once I used, I lost my worth, my self-respect and I lost my health when I became HIV-positive.”

Women’s History Month continues on C2

CoRonaViRus Disease (CoViD-19)

Pandemic? Panic? Political?

By Jon-Paul emerson

f you do an internet search for coronavirus, you will get about 4,290,000,000 results in 0.76 seconds. Is that overkill? Is that feeding the panic? Too much information is not always a good thing and we humans tend to not think clearly when we panic. Let’s start with the basics. The coronavirus is not anything new. Coronaviruses were first discovered in the 1960s. The earliest ones discovered were an infectious bronchitis virus in chickens and two viruses from the nasal cavities of human patients with the common cold that were subsequently named human coronavirus 229E and human coronavirus OC43. Other members of this family have since been identified, including: SARS-CoV in 2003 (do you remember that outbreak? Was there this much hysteria?); HCoV NL63 in 2004; HKU1 in 2005; MERS-CoV in 2012 (did that outbreak catch this much news and cause this much panic?); and SARS-CoV-2 (formerly known as 2019-nCoV) in 2019. Most of these have involved serious respiratory tract infections. Coronavirus continues on C3

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Anthony Ward (Courtesy photo)

What You see is Not always What You Get continues on C4

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March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

Women’s History Month continued from Page 1

neWs

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womens her-story month triBUte

Valiant WoMen oF the Vote!

We can look forward to more celebrations of women this summer. In the meantime, there are many ways to celebrate women during and after National Women’s History Month.

•Post on social media to spread awareness

By Jon-Paul emerson

of National Women’s History Month.

susaN B. aNTHoNY & eliZaBeTH CaDY sTaNToN

•Support a women’s nonprofit.

The women’s suffrage movement arguably began in 1848, when a women’s rights convention was held in Seneca Falls, New York. The Seneca Falls meeting was not the first in support of women’s rights, but suffragists later viewed it as the meeting that launched the suffrage movement. For the next 50 years, supporters worked to educate the public about the validity of woman suffrage. Under the leadership of Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and other women’s rights pioneers, suffragists circulated petitions and lobbied Congress to pass a constitutional amendment to enfranchise women.

•Host an event to celebrate women. •Support women-owned businesses. •Watch movies written and/or directed by women. •Support women authors, artists and athletes.

Source: National Women’s History Museum

HoN. CHrisTiNe KeHoe

NoTeWorTHY eveNTs THis MoNTH iN saN DieGo CouNTY iNCluDe: March 18, 6-9 p.m. Nasty WomXn’s History Month Showcase at You Belong Here, 3619 El Cajon Blvd. Among those being honored are the women of NASA during the space race; and a multimedia installation exploring connections between Billie Holiday’s “Strange Fruit” and modern-day mass incarceration. A life-sized piñata of Mother Teresa calls attention to femicide and current border issues. This is a noholds-barred event and admission is free. March 19, 5-7 p.m. Women Elevate San Diego Celebration at the San Diego Central Library, 330 Park Blvd. Join Mayor Kevin Faulconer and San Diego first lady Katherine Faulconer to recognize the city’s women leaders at the second annual Elevate San Diego Celebration and Awards. March 31, 8 p.m. “Women in Jazz” at Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave. Allison Adams Tucker’s 10th annual show celebrates the feminine side of jazz. Allison brings together a swingin’ band of talented women. $25 admission with drink specials and dinner packages available So, let’s get out and celebrate women! After all, none of us would be here if it weren’t for a woman!

Kehoe was born in 1950 in New York. She earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of Albany, New York in 1977. She became active in politics in 1978 as a volunteer with the Center for Women’s Studies and Services in San Diego. Kehoe was editor of the San Diego Gazette during 1984-86, and was San Diego County chair for the campaign to defeat California Proposition 64 (1986) and restore AIDS to the state list of communicable diseases. She was the coordinator of the San Diego AIDS Assistance Fund 1987-88, executive director of the Hillcrest Business Association 198889, and a City Council aide during 1989-92. Kehoe, who is a lesbian, is a strong supporter of equal rights for the LGBTQ+ community. A former chair of the California Legislative LGBT Caucus, she was one of five openly LGBT members of the California Legislature, alongside Senator Mark Leno and Assembly members Tom Ammiano, Toni Atkins and John Pérez. Kehoe represented San Diego’s 3rd City Council District from 1993 to 2000, and the 76th District in the California Assembly from 2000-04. She was the city’s first openly gay elected official. In 1998, she ran for the U.S. House of Representatives in the 49th Congressional District against incumbent Congressman Brian Bilbray, but was defeated. Kehoe was first elected to the California Assembly in 2000, winning the primary election unopposed and the general election with 61% of the vote. She was reelected in 2002. Kehoe was elected Assembly speaker pro tempore, the Assembly’s second highestranking position. She is the second woman to hold the post. After two terms in the Assembly, Kehoe ran for the California Senate in 2004 to succeed Dede Alpert in the 39th District. Alpert was termed out in 2004 after eight years in the state Senate. She was re-elected in 2008. She left office in December 2012 due to term limits. Ref: ChristineKehoe.org

HoN. HillarY roDHaM CliNToN

Whether you think she’s likeable or not, there is no denying the significant impact Hillary has made on women in politics and American women in general. Hillary Diane Rodham (Clinton) was born Oct. 26, 1947 and raised in the Chicago suburb of Park Ridge. She graduated from Wellesley College in 1969 and earned a Juris Doctor from Yale Law School in 1973. After serving as a congressional legal counsel, she moved to Arkansas and married future president Bill Clinton in 1975, whom she had met at Yale. In 1977, she cofounded Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families. She was appointed the first female chair of the Legal Services Corporation in 1978 and became the first female partner at Little Rock’s Rose Law Firm the following year. Hillary was the first lady of Arkansas from 1979-81 and again from 1983-92. Hillary is an American politician, diplomat, lawyer, writer, and public speaker. She served as first lady of the United States from 1993 to 2001, as a United States Senator from New York from 2001-09, and as the 67th United States secretary of state from 2009 until 2013. Clinton became the first woman to be nominated for president of the United States by a major political party when she won the Democratic Party nomination in 2016. She was the first woman to win the popular vote in an American presidential election, which she lost to Donald Trump. She is the current chancellor of Queen’s University Belfast in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Hulu has released a new documentary called “Hillary” and it’s a very informative watch. Some reviews say Hillary would be president today if the documentary were made in 2016. Ref: HillaryClinton.com

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Coronavirus continued from Page 1

We, by no means, want to make light of this illness that has in fact taken lives and, of course, the elderly and people with compromised immune systems or underlying health conditions should all be extra vigilante in selfcare and cleanliness. But the question still remains: Is the outbreak prevalent enough to be called a pandemic? Is the panic of people stocking up on toilet paper, paper towels and hand sanitizer a psychological response to the anxiety over something we fear we have no control over? Are skeptics and conspiracy theorists correct when they suggest this might also have a political spin? Will the government (health department) come out with an effective treatment plan or even a vaccine (which must have been in development for decades by now) just before this fall’s election so Don John Trump can take credit and glee in his narcissistic God complex while picking up more supporters and votes along the way? Amongst all the hype, please stay calm and remember a few things; we, as a country, have gained control over strains of this virus before, the aforementioned SARS and MERS. This strain is stronger so of course, so you should take extra precautions, but a lot of these guidelines are things we should be doing as civilized human beings anyway: wash your hands, (if you’re a user of hand sanitizer, please know that it must contain 60% alcohol which rules out any “botanical” hand sanitizers), don’t touch your face too much (think of how many things you touch in any given day; door handles, railings, money, ATM buttons, gas pumps) and cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. Some of the most germ-

infested things we own are our cell phones, remote controls, purses and backpacks, and computer and tablet keyboards. Again, it bears repeating — shouldn’t we be cleaning these things we seem to use so much anyway?! This strain can live on hard surfaces for up to 3 days and although San Diego is a dogfriendly city, dogs can carry the virus as well so it’s probably a good idea to leave your four legged friends at home for now. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) is updating their website almost daily with new recommendations and updates about the outbreak. They do suggest certain plans of action if you have elderly family members or friends who are at higher risk of complications from the coronavirus. You can read and listen to their briefings at cdc.gov. Let’s all take care of ourselves and each other and calmly get through this. If you are feeling sick and you’re not sure if it’s allergies, the common cold/flu or worse, quarantine yourself. Know that the three main symptoms of the coronavirus are fever, cough and shortness of breath. Also be aware that the test results for the coronavirus take up to 48 hours. And lastly, follow the suggestions of the CDC and be aware of your surroundings. Source: CDC/Mayo Clinic *Editor’s note: The information in this commentary/ opinion piece is “as of” our print date 3/13/20. This story is continually developing. This is by no means to be used as advice from any particular physician. If you have any concerns about your health, please contact a healthcare professional.

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

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What You see is Not always What You Get continued from Page 1

Despite his strong stature and looks on the outside, Ward never believed he was good enough when he looked in the mirror. It’s a common delusion with gay men who have been medically diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder. Chemical addiction is a symptom and coping mechanism. Addiction in the LGBTQ community has been treated through Stepping Stone of San Diego since its early beginnings in 1976. It’s been honored nationally for its residential treatment of drug abuse, HIV and other health interventions, recovery, education and prevention services. Two years ago, the organization opened its Stepping Out program designed as an outpatient facility to help those who completed the residential program and desired support for long-term sobriety. One of those programs is a support group for improving body image. The program is facilitated by Rebecca Gangl on Wednesday nights in the treatment center at Illinois Street and University Avenue in North Park. “This is a mental health issue,” says Gangl, “body image has to be treated that way. You can’t stay clean and sober if you hate your body. We provide a safe space for men to take their personal journey in healing.” Anthony Ward was one of the first participants in the group and credits its support with helping him stay sober. “I remember this particular homework assignment we were given to allow our body to dress itself. No mirror, no judgement, just wear what’s comfortable.” Ward had never done that, instead choosing to believe his delusion in the mirror. In the current culture of misinformation, the biggest lies could be coming from you. A recent study done by researchers at Chapman University near Anaheim revealed some facts about what men are really seeing in the mirror. The study

found that 20% of straight men and 39% of gay men reported trying to hide one aspect of their bodies, usually their bellies. Studies about men and their body image continue to gain momentum. In fact, Southern California is an epicenter of research on this reality. The Body Image, Sexuality, and Health (BISH) Lab at San Diego State University focuses on the scientific study of body image and health behaviors. Aaron J. Blashill, Ph.D., is director of the BISH Lab and a published expert on the subject. Blashill is quoted online on the evidence-based, industry standard website, consumer. healthday.com, saying, “Men, regardless of their sexual orientation, place greater emphasis on physical appearance [of prospective mates], compared to women,” Blashill continued. “As a result,” he said, “gay men may be more likely to both objectify their partners and themselves.” The BISH Lab at SDSU is currently recruiting participants for the Body Pride body acceptance program. Researchers are looking for persons who identify as gay, bisexual, or sexually attracted to men, aged 18-35, and speak English. Another program invites Spanish-speaking men to apply. ¡PrEParate! offers assistance to Latino men in the community with access to HIV prevention care like PrEP. For more information, go to bishlab.sdsu.edu/current-projects/ Meanwhile, the Stepping Out program in North Park is now opening its Body Image support group to anyone in the community. Gangl hopes the Wednesday night meeting is the safe place men will come to let go of what she calls the “dirty secret.” “The ‘dirty secret,’” she says, “is that you cannot have mental health and be disconnected from your body, whether with drugs and alcohol or dysmorphia. It’s not healthy to start turning on our

own body.” Anthony “Torch” Ward hopes to return to the Wednesday night group soon to check in on his progress. He also has plans to pursue a career

as a personal trainer and Reiki healer. He says there’s no better way to continue to heal himself and pass on his story of recovery to others than in front of the mirrors

that almost destroyed him. His “torch” also has a new meaning: “Fire, yes, can be destructive, but it also can be healing, too, because it’s warmth and it’s light.”

symptoms of BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) • •

• • • • • •

Frequent thoughts about appearance (at least an hour a day). Spending a lot of time staring in a mirror and/or reflective surface while fixated on the perceived flaw, or in some cases, complete avoidance of mirrors/reflective surfaces. Covering up the disliked body area (for example, using hats, scarves, make-up, body position, or posture). Repeatedly asking others if you look okay (also referred to as ‘reassurance seeking’). Frequent appointments with medical professionals/cosmetic surgeons to get the disliked body area “fixed.” Repeated plastic surgery or dermatologic treatment Keeping your obsessions and compulsions secret due to feelings of shame Emotional problems, such as feelings of disgust, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, suicidal thinking, etc.

source: international oCD Foundation (Courtesy photos)

noRth County

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March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

Leo Chiachio and Daniel Giannone

a latinx Flag

floUrishinG with commUnity collaBoration in north coUnty By M.G. Perez senior reporter

f Pride has a texture, Leo Chiachio and Daniel Giannone have contributed to its progression. They are married Argentinian artists trained as painters who now use threads and fabric to create hand embroidery and textile mosaics. They “paint with needles” and a genuine understanding of family — not a traditional family, but their own. Their current residency at the Lux Art Institute in Encinitas often features mosaics of themselves and their dogs filled with humor and fantasy sewn from a strong LGBTQ legacy in Latin America. Now they are looking for collaborators from North County to continue their passion for a rainbow flag imagined through a Latinx lens.

No artistic experience needed, just a desire to create community. They are also asking for contributions of cotton textiles like bed sheets, tablecloths, and old T-shirts. The cloth will be dyed into colors of a Pride flag and then used as the canvas for personal messages of love and support unfurled in the form of a Latinx flag. The community flag event is a partnership with the North County LGBTQ Resource Center, where the collaboration will be held on Saturday, March 14, from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Once Chiachio and Giannone have completed the creative collaboration, it will stay in North County through June. The Center’s Pride by the Beach celebra-

tion has been granted permission to display the newly created Latinx flag during the event Saturday, June 13, near the Oceanside Pier. “It’s an honor,” says Pride by the Beach Director Lisa Nava, “we heal through art, we understand through art and it’s a perfect setting as part of our 14th annual family-friendly festival.” Nava points proudly to the fact that the North County event in June is free and safe for children with a no-alcohol policy within the festival’s confines. This year’s theme is #BESEEN2020 and features the annual Queer Variety Show on the main stage. Applications for the show are now being taken at https://www.pridebythebeach.org/queer-variety-show

upcoming PriDe oN THe BeaCH signature events: Drag Takeover @ The Belly up Tavern April 21, 2020, 6-11 p.m. Tickets on sale now! Pride Build Days Make signs and help create pom-poms May 2, 9, 23 3220 Mission Ave. #2, Oceanside, CA 92058 Pride by the Beach Pre-Party Any donation June 12, 2020, 5-9 p.m.

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

puBliC seRViCe / opinion

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LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie

City attoRney neWs

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672

Mara W. elliott —Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

35-year-old Clairemont man threatened on Facebook to “shoot up” a gay bar in Hillcrest and then kill himself. He reiterated those threats to law enforcement after being detained. Our office intervened with a Gun Violence Restraining Order (GVRO) to prevent this attack. This is just one example of more than 300 situations where our office has obtained a GVRO to avert potential gun violence tragedy in San Diego. While the majority of cases referred to our office involve domestic violence or threats of suicide, we’ve also found GVROs to be a valuable tool for preventing hate-fueled violence in our community. Using California’s Red Flag Law, our office obtains GVROs to safely remove firearms from individuals who pose a danger to themselves or others. They also serve another purpose – preventing the person named in the order from acquiring new guns and ammunition. We established California’s first GVRO program and are training hundreds of other agencies throughout California on how to use this life-saving tool. Hate crimes have increased dramatically since their decade-low rate in 2014, and they increasingly target individuals as

UsinG california’s red flaG law to comBat

hate CRiMes opposed to property. With this law, we protect the most vulnerable populations in our city, particularly those who face discrimination and even threats of violence because of their race, religion, national origin, gender identity or other characteristics. As city attorney, my job is to ensure all our citizens feel safe in their own communities. A GVRO was obtained in each of these cases to prevent a potential hate crime: • A 50-year-old man confronted three Muslim women in Little Italy, forcefully bumping one with his shoulder. He pulled the hijab off another woman’s head, and punched the third woman, the victims testified in court. He yelled at them, “Go back to your country!” When San Diego Police went to his apartment, he answered the door with a handgun in his hand. The officers observed an AR-15 assault rifle, tactical vests and ammunition inside. He was arrested and charged with three counts of battery and a hate crime. The police confiscated seven long guns (some with scopes), a doublebarreled shotgun, two handguns, and hundreds of rounds of ammunition. •A 38-year-old Ramona man left disturbing telephone messages referencing

bullets and guns at the San Diego offices of an English as a Second Language school, after he got into a political argument on Facebook with the school’s director. When he learned the school was planning a field trip to Ramona he left messages saying he didn’t want “those [expletive] illegals up here” and that his neighborhood was “MAGA territory.” •A 30-year-old man stated that he wanted to purchase automatic weapons and large capacity ammunition magazines in Arizona, and then commit the largest mass shooting in U.S. history and broadcast it on Instagram. He mentioned a school in the Poway Unified School District, and stated he wanted to kill people based on their race. These disturbing examples demonstrate how powerful GVROs can be at thwarting hate crimes and preventing gun violence. Our office will remain proactive and vigilant in our effort to prevent this kind of violence, and I want to continue to work together as a community to stamp out hate. I urge community residents to report dangerous conduct to the San Diego Police Department immediately. With your help we can protect all San Diegans, regardless of who they are or where they come from.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news SENIOR STAFF REPORTER M. G. Perez SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips Connor Maddocks Dana Wiegand Jon-Paul Emerson Korie Houston Mara W. Elliott Michael Kimmel Neal Putman Paula J. Luttrell Tootie DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff. SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

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CoMMunity VoiCes

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

Conversations with nicole CaliFoRnia pRiMaRy eleCtion RepoRt

nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

ormer Vice President Joe Biden is on his way to becoming the 2020 Presidential nominee of the Democratic Party. Now the big question is who will be his VicePresidential nominee. Top individuals being mentioned are Senator Kamala Harris, Senator Elizabeth Warren, Senator Amy Klobuchar, and Stacey Abrams. If Biden picks Harris as his V.P. and wins, or if she is chosen as his Attorney General, this would leave a vacancy in Harris’ U.S. Senate seat which Governor Newsome would appoint her replacement. Word from many Democratic leaders throughout California is that State Senate President Toni Atkins would be their top choice to be named as our states U.S. Senator! In the local congressional races, City Council President Georgette Gomez made it to the November runoff after being out spent by millions and word is that a vast majority of the candidates who did not make it are endorsing Gomez as they don’t want to see another congressional seat being bought by a millionaire. Candidate Janessa Goldbeck did not score points by making there be two LGBTQ+ candidates for this Congressional Seat and not having any solid record with the local LGBTQ+ community. But she did impress many of us and her endorsement by the UnionTribune was also impressive. I believe Janessa Goldbeck has a very bright future ahead of her and many of us could see supporting her for public office in the future. Hopefully she will do the right thing and endorse Gomez! One the subject of doing the right thing, Sarah Davis who was clearly beaten by Councilman Chris Ward for the 78th State Assembly seat should drop out and endorse Ward, thus saving LGBTQ+ support and money, and shifting the focus to other candidates like Gomez. Chris Ward is obvi-

ously going to take this seat in November and as Sarah was one of the top winners for the local Democratic Central Committee. By dropping out and endorsing Ward she would be doing the party a huge favor and would make a good future candidate for office. Lorena Gonzalez was one of the biggest majority vote winners for the State Assembly and her future bid for Secretary of State is looking better than ever. Brian Maienschein continues to face right wing Republican opposition though he came in first. We need to focus on his re-election to the State Assembly. Now it’s time for Democrats to unite behind the strongest and best new voices for the San Diego County Board of Supervisors; Nora Vargas and Terra Lawson-Remer. Of course Nathan Fletcher, our popular County Supervisor was a top vote getter for the Democratic Central Committee. As expected, Steve Padilla placed number one for the Chula Vista City Council Seat in District 3. Our city’s first elected woman City Attorney Mara Elliot smashed her two opponents with almost 72% of the votes. Stephen Whitburn beat out four opponents to place a very comfortable number one in votes for the San Diego City Council Seat – District 3, and with the strong endorsement of the San Diego Democratic Party and almost every Democratic club in San Diego including Democrats for Equality. Stephen Whitburn is the clear front runner for the November runoff. Kelvin Barrios was, as expected, the top choice for the 9th district City Council seat and so was Raul Campillo in District 7. Barrios and Campillo for City Council in November! Marni Von Wilpert will also make an outstanding Councilmember in District 5. San Diego City Measure C (Convention Center Expansion/Homeless Projects/Road

Improvements) ended up just short of the two-thirds majority needed to pass and is a big loss for our city…period! It’s time for our community to disown Trump fanatic Gina Roberts who has done more to harm our community as a so called “Transgender Activist”. Roberts destroyed the local San Diego Log Cabin Club by her embracing and supporting every homophobic right wing Republican office holder including “Sheriff Joe” in Arizona. Gina Roberts has never been a part of our LGBTQ+ community. She has always stood with our enemies and those trying to take away our rights. She is a traitor to our fight for equality and gives comfort to the right wing homophobic as there “Token Tranny” as some have called her. Yes, I still call upon Carl DeMaio to apologize for his television commercials attacking our transgender military troops in one of the most negative political ads ever concerning the Transgender Community. I have also called upon him to make a donation in the same amount of money he spent on those ads to a non-profit transgender organization. DeMaio’s husband Jonathan Hale has made it very clear that he does not agree with DeMaios transgender position yet many are still attacking Hale, even suggesting he kill himself. The hatred and ugliness from this past primary election must stop, from presidential campaigns to local campaigns! At times I’ve dreaded looking at Facebook because of all the negativity and I fear that soon it will get much worse. And now for a little political gossip! I heard some interesting “words on the street” recently. The question for you is; which male congressional candidate who came in number one in his district is dating a female congressional candidate who came in number one in her district? Hmmmm?!

CoMMunity VoiCes

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

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Main title: poWeR, loVe anD pResenCe

What happened to the unstoppable power of our youth?

liFe BeyonD theRapy Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

s young people, most of us start off feeling pretty powerful. We have the confidence, naiveté and energy of our 20s and are excited about all the sweet, untasted possibilities of life. In our 30s, we get our first taste of being older: we are no longer the hot new twink on the scene (if, indeed, we ever were) and we notice wrinkles and other unwelcome physical changes. On the plus side, we’re typically coming into our own career-wise and relationship-wise. In our 40s, we may be approaching the middle of our life, settling down in a long-term relationship and career, enjoying security but missing excitement. As we enter our 50s, 60s and beyond, many of us feel invisible. We don’t have the looks to be on magazine covers and no longer turn heads when we walk into a room. For some of us, this is when we feel our power begins to ebb. And, if you define power by physical attractiveness, it’s true that we’re losing power. And yet…isn’t there more to power than that?

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

Personal power is based on strength, confidence and competence that we acquire over the course of our lives. It’s a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction, and meaning. Personal power is more an attitude or state of mind than an attempt to

events@TheCenTer The San Diego LGBT Community Center • 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 • www.thecentersd.org

I will get involved in 2020

April 1st CENSUS We need our community to be counted. For more information about the 2020 Census, visit: CountMe2020.org

Participaré en 2020

1 de Abril CENSO

Necesitamos que nuestra comunidad sea contada. Para obtener más información sobre el Censo 2020, visite: CountMe2020.org

The Center will be a Questionnaire Assistance Center, or QAC, providing information about the Census in 59 languages and provide the tools necessary to fill out the Census online, over the phone, or by requesting a paper form. For more information, visit our Virtual Assistance Center at www.CountMe2020.org or contact CivicEngagement@thecentersd.org.

APRIL 30, 2020 thecentersd.org/DOFL

Don’t miss The Center’s 14th Annual Dining Out For Life® San Diego! On Thursday, April 30, 2020 San Diego’s most generous restaurants and bars will donate 25% or more of their sales to The Center’s HIV/AIDS services and prevention programs. Sign up your bar or restaurant today at thecentersd.org/DOFL!

maneuver or control others. When externalized, it’s likely to be generous, creative and humane. Now, let’s talk about love: when we’re young, we may fall in love monthly/weekly/ daily with some beautiful new person. Our love affairs are often intense, dramatic and full of strong emotions. Sex is riveting and breakups can feel suicidal. And as we get older, how does our definition of love change? Through the wisdom born of experience, we can create a life full of emotional safety and self-love, recognizing that most of our dissatisfaction in relationships comes from trying to make our partners fill the needs that — in reality — we can only fill for ourselves. “Presence” is such a great word. I did a lot of research on its meanings. Here are the two I like best: “the bearing, carriage, or air of a person” (e.g., ‘“He has a very distinguished presence”) and “a noteworthy quality of poise and effectiveness” (“She possessed a strong, commanding presence”). Most of us aren’t born with a strong presence; we have to earn it. It typically comes from surviving tough times and emerging more grateful, grounded and awe-inspiring. Presence is a quality that grows as we do. It’s the ability to know who you are and to be that person wherever you go, no matter who you’re with; the ability to draw deeply on yourself in all of life’s constant changes. As young queer folks, we seem to have unlimited confidence and energy. But, over time, as we hit obstacles and get knocked down, we may grow discouraged and lose our confidence. Often, we just give up.

Some of us lost our fire years ago. Others spend their entire lives on the sidelines watching everyone else make choices and take action. What happened to that unstoppable power of our youth? After 18 years as a psychotherapist for San Diego’s LGBTQ community, I remain strongly optimistic that we can regain the power and optimism of our younger years while simultaneously developing a deeper access to love (on all levels) and an increasingly powerful personal presence. I am offering a workshop on this very topic: “Power, Love & Presence: The Joys of Getting Older” on Saturday, March 21, from 1:30-3:30 p.m. The workshop is limited to a maximum of 20 men and will address questions such as: • How can your sex life get better with age? • Where is the power in aging? • Are you experiencing more love as you get older (or less)? • What brings you peace? • What have you longed to try but haven’t (yet)? The workshop is hosted by Patric Stillman and The Studio Door, located at 3867 Fourth Ave. (in Hillcrest). The fee for the workshop is $35.

For more information, go to: .lifebeyondtherapy.com/ workshops/

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CoMMunity VoiCes

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

Big MiKe anD FRienDs Big Mike phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

aving the great fortune of living in San Diego for the past 30 years has given me the opportunity to cross paths with so many amazing individuals who have touched my life. I have always said, “Be kind to everyone you meet, you just never know how many of them could change your life in a positive way.” I have been very blessed by so many of you in our community and elsewhere who have been there for me in my times of need. One thing I was taught growing up by my parents was to never be afraid to ask for help in life. It is a vital part of growing and succeeding and as you grow, make sure to help others who may come to you asking for help. One of those individuals in my life who I reach out to and who took the time to help me, and continues to help me, is my very good friend and mentor Vidal Espinosa. Many years ago, Vidal and I met through his partner Jeff Redondo who, at the time, was working at the LGBT Center. It wasn’t until my business partners and I were having major problems with Harvey Milk American Diner that Vidal and Jeff, of Invictus Advisors, reached out to us to help straighten out our finances. Vidal and one of my business partners stayed up the entire night going through all the numbers to find the answers to continue the restaurant. Vidal presented his findings to our investors and gave them a positive solution, which they denied and led to us closing our doors. That was a very hard time in my life; seeing my life’s dream gone. I was depressed and very stressed during that disappointing time. The great thing though was Vidal and Jeff were always there for me. Especially Vidal, with his encouragement for me to move forward in life and not let what happened bring me down, but to take it as a lesson to better my future. Invictus Advisor International Consulting Group helps with tax planning, profit strategy and business analytics, providing great advice from a talented and knowledgeable group of professionals who are highly capable of helping your business grow successfully. I only wish my business partners at the time would have allowed Vidal and Jeff to come in and manage what could still be a successful restaurant. Learning the hard way sure is painful. What I love about Vidal and his company is they encourage people to ask for help and he is ready to help find a solution. All you need to do is ask — it could save your business or finances. Thank you both for being there for me. Known by so many as Vidal “The Shark CFO” Espinosa, he has earned respect and been noticed in his field with many awards such as Best San Diego Accounting Firm (San Diego Union Tribune, San Diego CityBeat), Latino Champion Business Leader Award (San Diego Union Tribune), and finalist for CEO of the Year (San Diego Business Journal), just to name a few. Vidal loves numbers so much, he has made them his life’s mission and primary profession; he loves dissecting those tedious reports and translating them into colloquial language, so that business owners and entrepreneurs can understand them. My own father was a math teacher when I was growing up and going to school; I hated math and could only make D grades, so I totally count on people like Vidal.

ViDal espinosa Vidal and Partner Jeff Redondo

not personal, that it’s business, and don’t take business home — leave it at the office — it’s easier said than done but make that effort.” Vidal and Jeff both love anything Disney, Jeff enjoys making Vidal happy and he loves seeing Jeff happy. They love to go to Disneyland as much as time will allow them, knowing that they’re in the Magic Kingdom of love and fantasies always strengthens the love they already have for each other. Vidal said to him that Disneyland is his happy place, where he and Jeff go to decompress, relax. “I don’t see it as escaping, I see it more as forgetting about the real world and enjoying the magic of being surrounded by likeminded people, people that enjoy this alternative reality.” I think we all could use a Magic Kingdom in our lives. What I admire about Vidal is that he and Jeff give back in so many ways, even going as far as creating their own charity groups: Enciende Tu Vida (a charity that helps young Hispanic entrepreneurs navigate their dreams by guiding them though mentorship) and Invictus Advisors (a charity that helps entrepreneurs accelerate their startup companies). These organizations are here to help empower Latinos and anyone who wants to do their best, ask for help and pass it forward to others that need a lift up. It takes different people, cultures, smart minds and hearts full of love and kindness to share the world. Vidal has a heart of gold along with all these qualities, and his goal is to help others achieve their potential and find great success. Thank you, Vidal, for helping better the world with your knowledge and dedication. Never stop. I asked Vidal for a quote to share and here is what he said: “If you are going to do something, do it excellent or really f*ck it up majorly. Don’t do things half-assed.” To contact Vidal, please check out: vespinosa@invictus-advisors.com or 619-677-6512; invictus-advisors.com

Big Mike and Vidal

Vidal’s childhood was more than normal, he considers himself very blessed. Growing up with two brothers, Miguel Angel and Gilberto, they were raised by his mother and grandmother; sadly, Vidal’s dad passed away when he was just 11 years old. They were very fortunate to be raised with privilege; he was able to attend private schools, go on amazing trips, and have everything one would want or need. But with all the material things in life, he and his brothers were sheltered from the real world. They were brought up in a crystal box, thinking that everyone was the same as them. Vidal told me what a shock it was to him when the realization set in that there was another world other than the one he had been raised in. Vidal never blamed his mother or grandmother, he said they only did what they thought was best — he only wished they had told them at an earlier age so that it would have been more of a reality check for him. Vidal realizes that both his mother and grandmother were only protecting them, and he knew how much they both loved him and his two brothers. Now, he is living and growing his family life with his partner for eight years, Jeff Redondo, who is Vidal’s anchor and biggest supporter. They are opposites when it comes to business, the ying and the yang, if you will; Jeff is a people person, he loves engaging (even though he is shy) and enjoys being “The Boss” in a good way. Sometimes cleaning up Vidal’s messes, he centers Vidal and tries to bring him back to focus. At times, Vidal says he fights it but then realizes it’s for his own good. They have their differences, as every couple does, but they strive to not let petty things get in the way. It can be very complicated working with your partners, but you must learn to differentiate. Vidal’s advice to anyone doing the same: “When you are having a business discussion, let them know that it’s

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

enteRtainMent

lgbtqsd.news

inger, songwriter and actor Tom Goss has been making music since 2006 with albums, concerts and so many appearances that bring him closer to the passion of performing and making the world a better place. The handsome troubadour is married and off the market but he is one bear-loving guy and we think the bears love him back. This time around, he comes to Martinis for a special night with two special performers for an evening of comedy, music covers and laughter. Joining Tom will be comedian and musician Deven Green and music connoisseur Ned Douglas. You know Deven from the cult series “Welcome to My Home” and her “Welcome to My White House” YouTube parodies, and as a judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” She’s also been in Trixie Mattel, Katya, and Jinkx Monsoon videos and proudly performs her live music shows at notorious brothels abroad. Ned Douglas is originally from London and is now based in LA as head of music for Dave Stewart Entertainment. As a credited music programmer and engineer, Ned has an extensive client list: No Doubt, Katy Perry, Stevie Nicks, and Celine Dion, just to name a few. This creative genius now comes out of the studio and onto the stage with the same brilliance you have heard all these years. We chatted with Tom about his upcoming performance and a little about what’s new for him. This is what he had to say.

Q&a

toM goss PUts the GUitar down and joins in the fUn at martinis aBove foUrth By Cesar a reyes

Cesar A. Reyes: What is new with Tom Goss? Tom Goss: I just released a new record, “Territories,” and I’m in the process of releasing a series of videos that tell the story behind the album. In my opinion, it’s my most compelling and emotionally layered work. I’m very excited to have it out in the world. I spent the fall touring the country and I’m working on a new tour this summer. CAR: We are looking forward to your Martinis Above Fourth performance in San Diego. What are you looking forward to with this performance? TG: I’m looking forward to cutting lose, laughing and having fun with my friends. CAR: Sharing the stage with two other talents can be exciting; what is it about Deven Green and Ned Douglas that made you want to collaborate onstage? TG: First off, Deven and Ned are icons in their own right. What they’ve created and accomplished over the years is astounding. Each of them brings something completely different to the table, both personally and musically. Besides that, they’re funny, sweet, kind and a pleasure to collaborate with. I’m humbled to call them part of my chosen family.

(Photo by Joey James)

CAR: “An Evening of Comedy and Covers”? We know you as the gay troubadour — what is different about this show? TG: Well, I’m still a gay troubadour! [laughs] But you’re right, this show is a much more interactive show. Deven is a comedian as well as a musician (you may know her as the viral sensation Betty Bowers, “America’s Best Christian”) so there’s a lightness that we start from. Our goal is to make people smile, laugh and sing. That’s what we want more than anything. You should come expecting a jovial experience. CAR: This is not your first time in San Diego, what

are some of the things you enjoy doing when you’re in town? TG: I always say, that given a choice, everyone in the world would live in San Diego. It’s the perfect mixture of big city and laid-back surf town. The weather is beautiful, people are friendly and it’s got such a great neighborhood feel. I love exploring the neighborhoods and searching for the perfect fish taco. CAR: Where else can folks catch you online and for new music? TG: I’m @tomgossmusic on all social media. You can connect to it all, or find merchandise at tomgossmusic.com

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lgbtqsd.news

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

PLEASE NOTE POSTPONEMENT of 27th San Diego Latino Film Festival

Per the SDLFF: “With the new recommendations from the California Health Department announced just late last night; we regret to inform that we have made the extremely difficult decision to postpone this year’s 27th San Diego Latino Film Festival. Over the next few days we will try to re-organize ourselves & comprehend the totality of this announcement; and come up with new plans for moving forward; and new 2020 festival dates.”

Todos Cambiamos

Tu Me Manques

Gaytino! Made in America

Storm Safety_LGBTQ San Diego County News_RUN: 3/13/20_TRIM: 6.1” x 10.96”

soMos

LATINO FILM FESTIVAL 2020: lGBtQ showcase

Storm Safety_San Diego Community News Network Mission Times_RUN: 3/13/20_TRIM: 6.1” x 10.96”

PosTPoNeD

BE SAFE KNOW HOW TO WEATHER A STORM

By Cesar a reyes

eeing our stories reflected on the big screen is something that always makes us feel proud to be Latinos. Every year, the San Diego Latino Film Festival presents stories from all over Latin America, but also provides space for stories from our own LGBTQ community to be represented in the “Somos” part of the festival. The LGBTQ showcase changed its name from CineGay to Somos as an evolution that showcases and gives a voice to the different stories within our community. Somos is not just about giving LGBTQ community members representation, it also gives visibility and an insight for the audience at large into the community’s stories, challenges and triumphs. The film festival takes place March 12-22 at the AMC Fashion Valley 18 movie theaters. The San Diego Latino Film Festival is an 11-day celebration of Latino cinema, arts and culture. The festival will present more than 160 films from Latin America, the United States, and Spain as well as Opening Night and Closing Night parties, the fifth annual Sabor Latino-Food, Beer & Wine Festival, Q&A sessions with visiting filmmakers, free student screenings, and more. Media Arts Center San Diego’s San Diego Latino Film Festival was established 26 years ago initially as a student film festival (Cine Estudantil), focusing on works by Latinos and/or about the Latino experience. Since that time, the San Diego Latino Film Festival has developed into one of the largest and most respected Latino film festivals in the world. Media Art Center San Diego is not just in charge of the film festival but has become an organization with diverse statewide programs and services for residents, visitors, and independent and amateur filmmakers. With its location at Digital Gym on El Cajon Boulevard in North Park, the building offers a movie theater that showcases many independent films throughout the year, a technology center with media arts classes and workshops for youth 17 years and up (both in and outside the classroom), and serves the people of marginalized communities by using media as a tool for social change and artistic expression. This year, Somos presents a diverse list of films in the showcase. With features like “Todos Cambiamos” (We All Change), a film from Panama that introduces us to the life of Federico Ponce. A father and successful businessman, Ponce faces hard decisions in order to live his authentic life as Lizzie and struggles with what those choices will signify to his wife and kids. A story that will touch everyone’s feelings is “Tu Me Manques” (I Miss You) from Bolivia. This film shows us the grieving process for a father, Jorge, following the suicide of his son, Gabriel. After turning to his son’s ex-partner for help, Jorge discovers a side of Gabriel’s life that he did not know or did not want to understand. Aside from strong-themed films that will make us think and reflect, the festival offers films that present the triumph to live in liberty and honesty of who you are. The one-man documentary “Gaytino! Made in America” introduces us (in his own words) to Dan Guerrero, an award-winning television director and producer, and delves into his adolescence as a Chicano gay male in 1950s East Los Angeles. The film also explores his interaction with Chicano history and the influential roles his famous composer and musician father, Lalo Guerrero, and his childhood best friend, acclaimed painter Carlos Almaraz, played in his life. These three movies are only a taste of what the festival has to offer in the Somos showcase. For full listings, show times and to purchase tickets, visit SDLatinoFilm.com.

SDG&E crews are always ready for the next storm. Are you? Here are some ways to prepare.

Before a storm:

• Prepare an evacuation kit that includes hygiene items, clothes, bedding and medication. • Monitor weather conditions on TV, radio or internet. • Evacuate when advised by authorities or if you are in a flood prone area. During a storm:

• Don’t touch any downed power lines and report them immediately to 911 or SDG&E. • If using a portable generator, make sure you know how to operate it safely. • Avoid making unnecessary trips and let others know where you are going. After a storm:

• Contact SDG&E or a licensed professional to relight your appliances and pilot lights.

• Avoid using electrical equipment in wet areas. • Use flashlights instead of lanterns, matches or candles.

Get more tips at sdge.com/safety

enteRtainMent

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

‘LA CAGE Aux FOLLES’ OPENS AT THE CyGNET

With Razzle Dazzle anD ReleVanCe By M.G. Perez senior reporter

mention of “La Cage Aux Folles” almost always includes a special pursing of the lips and at least a feeble attempt at a French accent. There is very little that is routine about this Tony Award-winning Best Musical, opening at Cygnet Theatre March 14, for a seven-week run. With a book by Harvey Fierstein and music and lyrics by Jerry Herman, the story packs plenty of pizazz that includes elaborately costumed musical numbers and a score highlighted with “The Best of Times” (a lyric with a double entendre), “Masculinity,” and “I Am What I Am” — the first act finale that has become a much celebrated gay anthem. The musical is based on the 1973 Jean Poiret play, “La Cage Aux Folles,” and not the 1978 French film of the same name, which added some characters. It’s a love story of un-wedded bliss between Georges and Albin, two men partnered for 20 years lovingly entangled in their family business running a drag night club in St. Tropez. Comical chaos ensues involving Georges’ son (fathered during a one-night fling) who announces his impending marriage to a fiancée with a bigoted, right-wing politician for a father. In contemporary terms, it could be a mashup of “Meet the Parents” and “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” If the storyline rings a bell, keep ringing it. The Poiret play also triggered the 1996 American comedy film “The Birdcage,” starring the late Robin Williams and Tony Award-winner Nathan Lane as the flamboyant husband who also happens to be the star drag performer at the couple’s club. San Diego veteran actor David McBean makes the grand entrance as Albin, aka ZaZa, in the Cygnet production. During tech rehearsals earlier this week, McBean was still counting costume changes as designers perfected the look of the show and his character who is a quintessential centerpiece to the story. “Everything is that glamourous sequins and feather boas and really fun celebration of the 1970s,” McBean says, “along with the makeup and lots of eyeliner, big lashes and bright colors.” He is a seasoned performer known by San Diego audiences for his versatility and ability to transform himself for a role. Besides the camp and over-the-top glamour, “La Cage Aux Folles” and its prior incarna-

tions have always had a vibrant consciousness of self-acceptance and a message of standing up for oneself to fight bigotry and prejudice. McBean says, “the audience will absolutely relish and appreciate what’s being represented on stage and its relevance.” The original Broadway production opened in 1983 as the AIDS epidemic was exploding across the country. The show’s successful run was an encouraging light in the darkness of fear as the gay community grappled with a dying generation and the hate and discrimination it created. In 2020, there is again a growing national fear over a very different health crisis, an unraveling of civil discourse in politics, and a new wave of discrimination against the LGBTQ community particularly with gender identity. The coincidence of similar circumstances 40 years later is not lost on McBean and his fellow cast members, who include Lance Arthur Smith as Georges, Jake Bradford as his son Jean Michel, and Cygnet newcomer Megan McCarthy as Ann, the unknowing fiancée. The production team is led by artistic director Sean Murray with music direction by Terry O’Donnell and choreographer Luke Harvey Jacobs. If theater does indeed inspire, this production has a powerhouse of performers ready to entertain and encourage the audience. “Stepping out of that idea that how other people perceive me defines my worth, is a huge message that our children absolutely need to hear and that our queer children need to hear, in particular, as they are identified and discriminated against,” reflects McBean. He adds, “I would have loved to have seen somebody speak this when I was a child…I am who I am.” In response to the growing coronavirus disease outbreak, a statement from the Cygnet team reports that the theater has increased already thorough cleaning protocols and is providing hand sanitizer at multiple locations on property. The statement also says in part, “our theater-going community is a warm and friendly group. Nevertheless, we encourage you to forgo handshakes and hugs and instead utilize the fabulous and thematically appropriate ‘Jazz Hands’ method of greeting. If you aren’t feeling well, we ask that you please call to reschedule your tickets. We will waive all exchange fees due to illness until further notice.”

David McBean (right) as Zaza (Photo by Karli Cadel Photography)

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CalenDaR

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March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

March MaR 14 GAy MeN’S SAFAri PArk AdveNTure Join other gay men for a tour of the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, Escondido, CA. Hosted by Queer Conscious, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Tickets available at http://bit.ly/33eKQ0e

MaR 16 reCoGNiziNG ANd ProTeCTiNG HiLLCreST’S LGBTQ HiSTory Hosted by Lambda Archives of San Diego. As part of a new comprehensive planning effort in Hillcrest, the city of San Diego is documenting LGBTQ+ history in Hillcrest and the buildings, structures, and sites important to that history. Please join the city of San Diego for an open house to share your knowledge of the people and events that have shaped LGBTQ+ history in Hillcrest, and the resources (both existing and lost) that represent that history. This information will be used to identify buildings, structures, and sites worthy of preservation, and will be the first step in developing a plan to interpret and celebrate Hillcrest’s rich LGBTQ+ history. This event is Monday, March 16, from 6-8 p.m. at The San Diego LGBT Community Center. For more information, please contact Michael Prinz, senior planner for the city of San Diego at 619-533-5931 or mprinz@sandiego.gov.

MaR 20

LGBTQ+ PuNk NiGHT! All are welcome! Doors open at 8 p.m. $15 at the door or $10 with donation items. Featuring Cochinas Locas, Trap Girl, Sector 7G, The Gay Agenda and Flaunt. All donation items will go to The San Diego LGBT COMMUNITY Center. These products go into kits that are used for their LGBTQ+ outreach programs that help out youth, seniors, and families that are currently going through a housing crisis. 8 p.m. Til Two Club, 4746 El Cajon Blvd.

MaR 21

MaR 19 JoHN LLoyd youNG: BroAdwAy’S JerSey Boy John Lloyd Young is the Tony and Grammy award-winning actor who played Frankie Valli from Broadway’s “Jersey Boys,” as well as the Clint Eastwooddirected Warner Bros film. “John Lloyd Young: Broadway’s Jersey Boy” is a celebration of classic hits from the ‘50s and ‘60s presented in the authentic acoustic style of original rock ‘n’ roll, doo-wop and R&B standards, along with tracks from Young’s critically acclaimed debut album “My Turn.” Martinis Above Fourth; doors open at 6 p.m. for dinner and seating performance at 8 p.m. http://bit.ly/3aNYtGe

MaR 21 2020 SPriNG “Power, Love & PreSeNCe: THe JoyS oF GeTTiNG oLder” LGBTQ San Diego County columnist (“Life Beyond Therapy”), workshop facilitator and psychotherapist Michael Kimmel will present a workshop based on his upcoming book: “The Gay Man’s Guide to Aging Well”. If you enjoyed his September 2019 workshop (“The ART of Aging Well”), this workshop has all-new content. This will be an interactive experience: participants will be actively participating and talking with different men throughout. The workshop is limited to a maximum of 20 men. Come join us as we explore these questions with a safe, supportive group of men facilitated by Kensington psychotherapist Michael Kimmel. The workshop is hosted by Patric Stillman and The Studio Door, located at 3867 Fourth Avenue (in Hillcrest). The fee for the workshop is $35. 1:30PM – 3:30PM For more information, contact: Michael at 619-955-3311 (beyondtherapy@cox.net) or Patric at 619-994-2263 (patric@thestudiodoor.com)

Send calendar events to editor@lgbtqsd.news

TALi LoPez ArT exHiBiTioN Come join us for a night of fun and art. Hosted by Robin Borrelli and John Ackert. Everyone attending will receive a free raffle ticket at the door for their chance to win an original piece of art from Tali Lopez. 5:30 p.m. at Park Boulevard Art Works, 4421 Park Blvd.

MaR 22 ArMAdA dAy AT LeGioN It’s the Armada Day at Legion! Don your Armada gear, and come watch some pro rugby, while supporting the amateur club you love. A portion of all proceeds purchased through this link will be donated to the Armada Rugby Club. http://bit.ly/2W3H3RD

MaR 27

divAS weLCoMeS: evAH deSTruCTioN San Diego Divas welcomes “Dragula” superstar, Evah Destruction. 7-10 p.m. at Rich’s.

MaR 21 TriCk AT THe Merrow Every third Saturday of the month, Trick takes over The Merrow with great music from DJ Reaubert (from Honey Please and Ruffhouse NYC), installations and hot performers. A space for sophisticated sleaze, queer expression and men to cruise men. Wear what makes you feel sexy; if you feel hot in it, wear it! Free clothes check. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. The Merrow, 1271 University Ave. $10 tickets in advance at https:// bit.ly/2Q9DPbz

MaR 27 ServiCee STATioN AT THee Merrow Join Service Station for a night of kink, dance and fellowship. Here is your chance to try something new or just have fun. Host Angel Fairfax entertains while Keith Johnson brings the kink. Go-gos and special DJs on deck. Clothes check available. 10 p.m.-1 a.m. at The Merrow, 1271 University Ave. $5 at the door.

Q puzzle Max oF _M*a*s*H_ aCross 1 Cowardly lion actor 5 Lake ballet dancers 10 She played gay in _Silkwood_ 14 Personal lubricant ingredient 15 Man of morals 16 Cocksure Aesop character 17 Green of _Buffy_ fame 18 Furnish food 19 “It ___ Necessarily So” 20 Start of a comment about Klinger by Col. Potter 23 Bottom support 24 Small fry 25 Lily Tomlin’s _ ___ Me_ 28 More of the comment 34 Conflict with boxers 35 NASDAQ rival 36 _Mamma ___!_ 37 Prefix with type 39 More of the comment 40 _Of Thee ___ _ 42 Cold war prog. 43 Dench of _Notes on a Scandal_ 45 Actress Chase 46 More of the comment 49 Favored by heaven 50 Rudy Galindo’s milieu 51 It’s hard and woody 53 End of the comment

60 Heal, like a bone 61 Moral code 62 Ready to go in 63 It comes before date? 64 Classic western 65 _The Bells ___ Mary’s_ 66 Have an opening for 67 Gaydar, e.g. 68 umlaut pair DoWN 1 unit of flagellation 2 Toward shelter 3 _The ___ Baltimore_ 4 Vacation spot in Delaware 5 Gives the ax to 6 Be ambiguous 7 Nick and Nora’s dog 8 Coward of _The Scoundrel_ 9 Fairies 10 using the mouth a lot 11 Icy pellets 12 Marine eagle 13 Eligible for Soc. Sec. 21 Bonehead 22 Oscar winner Marisa 25 Bring shame to 26 _Zami_ author Audre 27 Perfectly clear

29 Mauve hanky fetish 30 Colleague of Marlowe 31 Lips service? 32 Cries from the sties 33 Pester, as Jack to Will 38 Force out 39 Spots on TV 41 Movie where Cher played gay 44 Having no point 47 What some did at Stonewall 48 Gertrude with a beer mug? 49 Water near San Fran 52 Mike holder 53 A girl named Frank 54 Low-calorie 55 “Aren’t ___ lucky one!” 56 _Star Trek_ guy full of wrath 57 The 411 58 Ending with Pride 59 Goes down on 60 Toto’s home st.

QSyndicate.com

Solutions on page 17

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

CoMMunity VoiCes

lgbtqsd.news

asK anything, tell Me What you thinK

My gooD tootie tootie —Tootie is the Mistress on the Mic at Lips Thursday thru Saturday nights at Lips and Sundays for Gospel Brunch as Sister Nun of the Above. She is single and slightly engaged. Mother of two dogs and wears many wigs throughout a day. She is a volunteer, a boss, a change maker, and an activist. Add to that she knows all the best vegan and vegetarian places in San Diego. Email questions to nefertootie@gmail.com

y Good Tootie wants to hear your deepest secrets about sex and love, relationships and sex, sex and friendships… and did I mention sex? Anonymously. Get off and get it off your chest. I pinky-promise to be honest and candid and keep it fun, I expect the same from you. Also fun. Listen to my “Campfire Shitshow” podcast interview, where I mention this article. http://bit.ly/2TFqD0g Pass it on.

Hey there, My Good Tootie. I am a new nudist here (about two years) looking to meet some fellow nudists. Is there a club or place here in San Diego? I’m new to town and new to all of this. Just looking to hang out for now in private, as I am shy and want a friend with me my first time at Black’s Beach or someplace like that. I really want to go to a hot springs. Right now, I have two roommates and finding time when they’re not home is difficult. Luckily, I can get an hour in here or there, cleaning and walking around the apartment nude. I think I may really connect with men who are also unclothed but nervous and never did that in a non-sexual way. Maybe I should try it with someone I’m not attracted to, in order to keep from getting aroused. I’m really not sure about all of this. This is a big step. Dear My Good Newdist: Freedom is great and one day you’ll be able to drop-trou at the door when you get home from work and not worry about roommates. San Diego and Southern California is rich with oppor-nudities! A hiking trail in Riverside, hot springs in the desert, private clubs in Palm Springs, nudist retreats here in San Diego’s East County, naked yoga, Black’s Beach, San Onofre’s Trail 6 Beach, and private individuals who would love to have you over to their place. Sometimes, there are lines drawn between naturists’ need to bare all and sexuality. In mixed groups or private public areas, sexual arousal and acts are not welcomed or even tolerated. Getting comfortable with friends who also love to strip down is useful in redirecting your energy. Meetup.com offers groups and events that nudies would enjoy and then there’s Nudies (www.nudies.club). Get out of town to get out of your drawers. Sometimes being in foreign places releases our inhibitions. Place an ad, answer an ad, make a friend and go watch a movie, barbecue, hot tub over at their place. Being a nudist

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

means freedom and love of your body, and an appreciation of others. Spend concerted time loving and pampering your body, massages, skin treatments, tanning, daily moisturizing regimens, artistic selfies, temporary tattoos —

they will all make you want to show off what’s down under. Remove the shame, stigma and taboo and you’ll remove the things that hold you back from being au natural.

Hi Tootie! I am divorced and starting my entire life over from scratch. Being married for years, I lost all the things that made me...me. I am rediscovering those things, and I am happier overall. I’ve made new friends and rediscovered sex with men. In my new life, I have found one thing I miss and that’s falling asleep with someone. While married, it was my wife, and now I am looking for that experience with a man. I fall asleep thinking about what it would be like to do that with a guy. I am unsure of where to find someone to simply cuddle with at night and maybe have sleepovers. Not really looking for a relationship, just a friend I can cuddle with for the physical aspect of having a guy fall asleep in my arms sometimes. I’m in my mid-40s looking for a casual kind of thing where we can sometimes crash out together. Am I being selfish? Are there others who feel this absence like me.

(Photo by freepik.com)

My good Divorcee, I love that you found yourself again…and men. Never too late, and while I hope you parted with your wife as friends and that the life-change

didn’t take a huge toll on family and friends, a life lived without, is a life half lived. It’s hard to have new guys you meet come over for fun and then stay till morning. That may happen once in a while but then they think it’s leading to something else, and not breakfast. More unholy relationships are started by a sleepover. https://www.certifiedcuddlers.com/cuddlers_list/ I’m not trying to sleep talk you out of it, just saying that being upfront in saying what you’re looking for is the best policy. College kids away from home love a cuddle buddy, other divorcees love a cuddle buddy, bears are known for hibernation, wayward couch-surfing travelers https:// www.couchsurfing.com/ are more comfortable in a bed snuggled up (hide your valuables) — be open and be prepared. When you have that “why did you bring a banana to bed?” moment, how do you handle it? That kind of thing can keep you up all night. Make a friend that you can condition into cuddling and sleepovers; I’m thinking camping trips, a small tent, cold weather, a soft comforter and long johns…or a dog. Get a dog. They make the best on-demand cuddle buddies. https://www.sdhumane.org/

lgbtqsd.news

CoMMunity VoiCes

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

san Diego leatheR pRiDe is heRe, Can those titleholDeRs Be tRans? (Photos by Scott B Smith)

tRans talK With ConnoR Connor Maddocks —Connor Maddocks has been a civil rights advocate in the San Diego transgender community for years. He does trainings on legal and personal transition information. He continues his work, even though he is now retired. Contact Conner at Neon411@gmail.com.

lthough I have had friends in the Leather community since my first San Diego Pride, they were not close friendships. I would go through the Leather realm every year and learn a little bit. It never occurred to me to really find out what their community was all about. I knew one Trans guy in the Leather world and he seemed to really enjoy it but again, our conversations around the community were superficial at best. Fast-forward 16 years and suddenly I have some much closer friends who have not only been involved in the Leather community but have embraced it as a part of how they live their lives. My friend Jerry McCracken said this: The Leather community will give you a sense of honor; you learn self-respect; you learn to be gut honest. He went on to say there was a roundtable talk a few weeks ago. A group of folks listed out at least 30 different groups whose interests overlapped. I’d not sat down and really thought about it until that night — it boiled down to something really simple: We were all marginalized. You discriminate against one group and you’ve hit a slippery slope. Theater, for instance, was on our list. It was amazing how different groups interact if there is a group that is marginalized. All groups are in danger of being marginalized. These words from Jerry gave me an insight into how the world of leather, at least in San Diego, confirms my guess that all the great people I meet every year at Pride really are nice people all year-round. Back to the rest of my circle of friends: they all seem to get very involved — above-and-beyond kind of involved. The newest member of the group is Serafine Sawyer. She and I actually met at The Center and I didn’t even know she was part of the Leather community. Then one day, I saw a picture of her wearing her sash, which read Miss San Diego Leather 2019. Wow. So, I asked if she could find some time in her very busy life to explain to me about the intersection of Transgender and Leather. Is it a place we are welcome? What is life like for a Leather Trans woman? Ms. San Diego Leather 2019: Personal statement seraFiNe saWYer After coming out as Trans, many of my friends and family quietly stepped back or walked away. I was lost. The San Diego Leather community was incredibly welcome and supportive. It’s also why there were more than 42 Trans-nonbinary titleholders worldwide in 2019. This includes the current International Mr. Leather Jack Thompson and San Diego’s own Bootblack Pup Rowdy and so many more. This amazing Leather community is steeped in a history of supporting those on the fringe and protecting our personal and sexuality expression. I was drawn to this community because it spoke to my heart, and it allowed me the freedom to express my sexuality — a freedom which many in the larger LGBTQ+ community consider deviant and are less than supportive of. The Leather

you Bet they Can, anD ouR CoMMunity MeMBeRs shoW up anD MaKe us pRouD. community has unified around promoting one’s San Diego Leather out, I feel the need to show freedom to consensually engage with others Boot Black 2019: other Tran’s folks that there is however you wish. Personal statement room for them in the leather What kept me here was the family I discovcommunity. That it’s not just alexaNDer WilliaMs ered and the relationships I built. I connected for the cisgender “Tom of I had always had some kind with the San Diego Leather women through Finland” type. Leather is full of interest in Leather and kink. the San Diego Girls of Leather. This group is of all different people and body I thought it was a really hot just one of many smaller groups that make up shapes. This is something aesthetic, and then I learned our community. We’ve spent time over bonSerafine & I have been trying to that it’s more than that. Folks fires, at events, and just hanging out during do with our EveryBODY events in the Leather community are our monthly meetings. There’s more than 25 we’ve hosted throughout our constantly working to be their years of Ms. San Diego Leather titleholders title year. We created events in best selves, often using the and dedicated community women leaders who the leather community where it practices of BDSM as a tool to are always holding some event, class, retreat was intentionally a safe space achieve this. or roundtable. San Diego has a vibrant womfor people who didn’t typically Honestly, I didn’t think that en’s community just waiting to be discovered. feel welcome at those places. there was space for guys like My title year as Ms. San Diego Leather 2019 Those EveryBODY events were me in the Leather community has been one of the most incredible years of incredibly empowering, to see until Tyler McCormick became my life and I’m truly honored to have served. the bar packed with folks I the first Trans man to win IML Throughout this year, my two title husbands never saw in there, folks that in 2010. He inspired me to get (Pup Rowdy, San Diego Bootblack 2019, and looked like me! involved in the local comJody Mitchel, Mr. San Diego Leather 2019) So if a new adventure is what munity. Being in the Leather and I have formed strong connections. We have you are looking for check out community has helped me to be spent nights traveling between one event and the San Diego Leather Pride a better, more authentic version another, just wondering if we were going to even going on 11/19. There will of myself. Sure, I’m much more get enough sleep before the next day’s activbe games for the kids and big aware of myself sexually, but ity. Jody and I have spent many hoursPublication: in the for the tallerMarch people. 13th I’m also more open to commu-NewsgamesRun LGBTQ San Diego County Date: car traveling to distant Pride events eating I forMedia: one had Print no idea & the Size: 4Ó x 3.56Ó nicate issues, learn and grow. I Web Del Taco. I’ve celebrated with him and cried in Leather Community was so embrace change instead of run his arms. His charisma is infectious, and it’s involved and evolved. I am so from it. I also picked up a bunch spurred me to continue when I was running on very glad there is at least one of fun and kinky skills along Website: empty. Alex is always right there when I need https://lgbtqsd.news/ organization that I know of that the way. Who else can say they him, either in the stands at the event,Digital or set- Archive (Examples): teaches and expects the very https://lgbtqsd.news/digital-archive/ can safely set folks on fire?! ting up for pup night at the Eagle…he’s been best of each member. Where As a Tran’s person in leather my serenity and voice of reason when I just everyone is treated the same. who has the privilege of being can’t deal with things. I showed up, lost and alone — a middle-aged Transwoman. But I kept coming back — volunteering, gently asking questions, and slowly learning more about this rich and dedicated community…and before I knew it, it was my community — it was my new family. The local connection we form with each other binds and protects us, it’s tied to a strong and beautiful history that we honor and remember. We are a facet in a worldwide community grounded in promoting sexual freedom and dedicated to each other. This is my Leather community; this is my family.

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So, that is Serafine’s story; Trans women are indeed welcome. From talking to all these people, I realize that the Leather community seems to be a place where those who don’t fit in very well elsewhere, fit in here just right, like it was waiting for them. Another good friend of mine is Alexander. He also wanted to write about his experiences with San Diego Leather. I have known Alex for quite a few years and he is just a great guy. Here is what he had to say:

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CoMMunity VoiCes

March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

lgbtqsd.news

nations of the Four Directions 1989-2010

N out ut o oF the aRChiVes Dana Wiegand —Lambda Archives, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to collecting, preserving and teaching the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in San Diego and the Northern Baja California region, is located at 4545 Park Blvd., in University Heights. To learn more, stop in or visit their website at lambdaarchives.org.

ations of the Four Directions was an LGBT support group for Native American members of San Diego’s LGBT community, co-founded by Karen Vigneault, Tom Lidot, Travis Anderson, and Bobby Rubio. The group aimed to create a support group that kept Native American two-spirit culture alive through lesbian and gay pride, to re-educate people about the highly respected role that two-spirited people had in Native American culture, to unite Native Americans who lived on the reservations with Native Americans that lived in urban areas, and to visibly represent their tribes and identities within the LGBT community. Nations of the Four Directions was the first Native American group of its kind in San Diego history, and represented local tribes, such as Kumeyaay, Luiseno, and Cupeno as well as other non-local tribes like Cherokee, Blackfeet, and Yaqui. The group was formed around 1989 after a San Diego Pride parade with

co-founder Karen Vigneault stating that “the spirit told all of us at the same time this is it.” They worked with other LGBT organizations founded by people of color and their leaders, such as Jim Cua and his organization Gay and Lesbian Asian/ Pacific-Islander Social Support (GLASS) and Marti MacKey of Lesbians and Gays of African Descent United (LAGADU). The name was developed with the intention of representing all of the Indian Nations, as the “Four Directions” had a spiritual context in Native American culture. The North (white) represented the tribes’ elders, the East (gold) represented rebirth, the West (red or black) for spiritual discipline, and the South (green) represented physical discipline. Being two-spirited in native culture was not something that was stigmatized in most tribes; some considered two-spirit people to be special beings. The group recognized that Native Americans were a forgotten minority within the LGBT community and fought against the racial discrimination and bias that was prevalent in the community at the time. Native American traditions played a large part in the Four Directions’ meetings. The meetings opened and closed with traditional prayers and the burning of sage, they sang, played drums, and participated in what co-founder Tom Lidot called “spiritual release” with their brothers and sisters. The spiritual component was important, as the Four Directions wanted to help their members in urban areas re-connect to their traditions. Lidot, who had worked on the reservations with the Indian Health Council regarding the AIDS epidemic, focused on connecting urban LGBT Native Americans with their LGBT brothers and sisters living on the reservations. Being LGBT on the reservations was dangerous; Lidot spoke about how the out gay people on the reservation were harassed and physically assaulted in public regularly in a 1996 interview with Frank Nobiletti. He stated that they did not want to be seen speaking publicly with him because he ran the AIDS programs and others on the “res” might think they had the virus. At its peak, Nations of the Four Directions had about 17 members but continued to work with LAGADU and GLASS to enhance the visibility of people of color in the community. Nations of the Four Directions marched for the first time in the 1990 San Diego Pride Parade and received a great reception from the crowd, with some crowd members with Native heritage running out to march with them. The group dissolved around 1996, when leaders were devoting more time to other projects, but was reformed in 2006 by Karen Vigneault. Karen believed that since there were 18 local reservations (the largest concentration in the United States), an organization that created a sense of community for LGBT Native Americans was much needed. The reformed group ran until approximately 2010 and held weekly meetings at The Center. .

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March 13-26, 2020 voluMe 1 issue 12

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Nations of the Four Directions marching at San Diego Pride in the early 1990’s at Balboa Park. (Left to right: Walter Twofeathers, Jim Abrams, “Giselle”)

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Karen Vigneault (left), “Johnny,” and “Giselle” listening at a meeting at the Indian Human Resource Center.

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