HILLCREST BEACON

complaints; and within 10 years, the sign went dark for decades.

According to HillQuest.com, the next sign, much beloved for its 240 feet of pink neon tubing forming the H I L L C R E S T letters, was unveiled in 1984 after being completely rebuilt. The new sign was 21 feet long, three and a half feet tall, and weighed 800 pounds. The support poles, donated by SDG&E, were 75 feet high with 15 feet set below the ground.

The first official CityFest was held in August of 1985 on the first anniversary of the sign’s relighting.

While CityFest continued each year, another cause for celebration was in 1994, when a cosmetic upgrade was made to the sign’s support poles through a public art project. The upgrade added green glass globes to the poles that sustain the sign’s span on either side of the street and the artist then capped them both with aluminum cones. A new paint job for the fading red metal backdrop of the sign was added for good measure.

In 2009, another paint job was undertaken for the 25th “silver” anniversary of the sign, and the celebration was again brought back under the sign, with a large stage and music lasting into the night.

After several years of flickering and individual letters going “dark” where the neon blew out, the sign was pulled down in 2011, and the community learned that the pink neon used to drive its landmark sign was no longer sustainable.

Thanks to generous donations, a new sign with white LED letters was unveiled in August of 2012. The new LED-based sign was to be more energy efficient and would last longer than the previous gas-driven neon tubing, but the community mourned the loss of the pink neon, just the same. All the character that the billowing pink neon offered Hillcrest’s LGBTQ community was suddenly gone. Besides, who could cozy up to bright white LEDs?

Despite the disappointment with the LED, CityFest continued to bring thousands of people to the heart of Hillcrest to celebrate its new beacon of bright light and the festivities and its footprint continued to expand throughout the neighborhood.

Thankfully, after just a short stint in storage, the old sign was auctioned off by the Hillcrest Business Association and has remained on display within the community ever since.

The sign first went to Brett Serwalt, the owner of Obelisk Bookstore, who was able to take possession of the sign after a three-day auction held in 2012, which became a bidding war between many of our well-known and longstanding Hillcrest business owners. Obelisk was located between Rich’s and Flicks on University Avenue, and Serwalt felt the beloved sign would be a perfect addition to his remodel, after a fire had damaged his bookstore the year before.

For the sign’s 30th anniversary in 2014, the first “CityFest After Dark” was launched, an extension of the typical Noon to 7 pm celebration, adding a 21+ aspect from 7-11 pm, with a special lineup of DJs and light shows emanating from the main stage at Fifth and University avenues, with dancing in the street and an extended hours beer garden.

In 2015, Obelisk closed its doors for good and the original sign went to local business owner Nick Moede, the proprietor of Rich’s at the time. Moede had been one of many who had bid against Serwalt at the previous auction. Rich’s refurbished the neon and mounted the sign from the ceiling in its front bar, facing University Avenue. You can still see the sign lit up every night from the street to this day (so much for not being sustainable).

Even though we were told the new LED sign would not have the same type of “outages” that were typical of the pink neon, it didn’t take long before this was proved incorrect, with letters in the LED sign also often going dark, caused by outages within the technology, and the sign’s bright light began to fade over time.

Fast forward to 2022, and the latest revision of the sign, which we will celebrate on Sunday, Aug. 13. Due to the continued dimming of the sign, it was turned off late last summer and eventually pulled down.

Thanks again to more generous donations, the sign was revitalized once more and unveiled this past February, just in time for Mardi Gras, with its letters lit up in colors of purple, green and gold. With a palette of 16 million different hues now available, the letters can be any color -- green and red for the holidays; rainbow colored for Pride; or a solid color across all the letters. Pink, anyone?

In years past, CityFest activities often took place right under the sign, but expanding crowds forced the majority of the festival to be confined to Fifth Avenue in 1990, and while it returned full force in 2014 for the After Dark activities, once again it retreated to Fifth Avenue after the pandemic.

This year, with the new sign brightening the streets of Hillcrest, the HBA is bringing the CityFest celebration back under the sign. Officials say they will construct a “massive stage under the sign and hold the largest, free, all-ages dance party in the city.”

CityFest 2023

Come celebrate the Hillcrest sign with your neighbors and community on Sunday, Aug. 13, from Noon to 11 pm.

This year, expect over 150 vendors (artists, craftsmen, local businesses, etc.) and a 50-vendor strong international food court with something for everyone. The current footprint extends from University to Brookes, with vendors also along Robinson. Add to all this two cocktail bars, a massive beer garden, Drag Queen Story Time, carnival rides, face painting, a Lego mountain, stilt walkers, street performers, a children’s garden, balloon artists, and live entertainment on two different stages, and you have the perfect street festival.

With over 20 hours of live entertainment this year, the list of performers is so long, we can’t possibly share it here – but you can research all of them by visiting bit. ly/3qlN6Cz

A new addition this year will be Oasis, held in Mural Alley (between Fourth and Fifth Avenues, south of University Avenue and behind The Studio Door and Arreviderci). Billed as “a party within a party,” Oasis will take place from 2-7 pm and offer a live DJ, entertainment, special alcoholic and non-alcoholic cocktails, and the return of WET with Benny Cartwright -- a wet underwear contest. Entrance is free but you must be 21 or over to enter.

A bike corral will be available for those who choose to bike to CityFest, but according to the HBA, parking will be available throughout the neighborhood at many private lots and on the street. Remote and free parking is available at the San Diego Unified School District offices at Washington and Campus streets and at the DMV at Cleveland and Lincoln streets. An ADA accessible shuttle will be available to access these lots from 12 noon until 8 pm. Public transportation is also always a viable option.

Volunteers needed

Like any great event, CityFest couldn’t happen without its many dedicated volunteers. The HBA is still seeking volunteers for the three shifts that are available: Vendor load-in starts early Sunday morning, and you’ll be helping vendors find their booths for the day. The two ID checkassist shifts are to help make sure those who are over 21 with ID can get a wristband for the cocktail and beer gardens. Volunteers will receive a T-shirt, lunch, and even a couple drinks in the beer garden if you are eligible. If you’d like to volunteer, email the HBA at info@hillcrestbia.org For more information about CityFest and all it has to offer, visit fabuloushillcrest.com

Special thanks to HillQuest for a detailed history of the sign to pull information from. Check them out at bit.ly/43UsUpj

—Morgan M. Hurley is the editor-in-chief of this newspaper. You can reach her at editor@lgbtqsd.news.

Hillcrest Town Council is coming back

By Jason Frye, HTC Chair

The need for community is the most valuable lesson of the last several years.

Through our epidemiological isolation, and through the contrivances of incentivized polarization and division, we find ourselves not only realizing the need for community, but most importantly witnessing its power.

For years the Hillcrest Town Council (HTC) came together to provide a voice for the residents of much of the 92103 zip code.

Letters

We have held community forums, performed acts of service, and been the locus for which we can communicate directly with our elected officials.

Unfortunately, the HTC was not unphased during the pandemic. We found ourselves losing the attention of the neighborhood and not serving the needs of the community as well as we had done at our peak.

If you have not heard of us, then this speaks to the deficits that the new and current Board of Directors are working on.

We are even bringing in some old faces from when we were at our best. Community organizer and LGBTQ San Diego County News Community Editor Benny Cartwright has filled a vacancy and brings with him a dynamic

Editor’s Note: We accept and encourage letters to the editor, and we curate our “letters” from emails, snail mail, Facebook, and comments on our website. However, we reserve the right to publish – or not to publish – any particular submission or comment, and if we do choose to publish, it does not mean that we align or agree with the writer’s intentions, assertions or allegations.

Showing her hand

[Ref: “Talking in Circles About Stripes,” Vol. 4, Issue 17, or online bit.ly/3OkypHT]

Dear Mrs. Lothspeich. Struggle for Equality? Drama? Distraction from all the real issues at hand? Look in the mirror, lady, if I am allowed to say that word.

Equality is not having an entire month devoted to your cause. Equality is not a Ford rainbow truck beating a “straight” truck in a dirt road race commercial. Equality is not one of the world’s largest burger chains making “Pride Whoppers.” Equality is not paraded all over the world in your honor. Equality is not your flags flying shoulder-to-shoulder and sometimes higher than national flags.

That’s exaltation. Equality would be a step backward.

As for drama, I wasn’t the one saying I would commit suicide if City Hall didn’t fly an energy and well-established connections that can help us remedy our evaporation.

Currently, we are in talks on how to revitalize and re-establish ourselves. These talks have ranged from the extensive to the more expedient (dissolving and reforming under a different name).

While the level of activity the HTC has demonstrated recently has been a bit of a decrescendo, the needs for the HTC have ballooned.

We have a crisis involving the unhoused on our streets, feelings that our elected officials are not responsive to our needs, apprehension at the way the neighborhood is changing (from a variety of trajectories), powerful desires to feel connected to

LGBTQ flag. That’s not only dramatic; that’s emotional blackmail. Not one disrespectful word was uttered by me during the La Mesa council meeting, but I did experience for the first time in my life being called a “Cisgender, white supremacist, Nazi bigot.”

And what villainy prompted such dramatic slurs? My daring to suggest only official flags fly on official flagpoles. No wonder you’re calling for me to resign. The impertinence! The insolence! Cancel! Cancel! Cancel!

The original vote to hoist the LGBTQ Flag on La Mesa’s flagpole in 2020 (when City Hall was closed and no one was paying attention) was the distraction from real issues: unlawful COVID lockdowns, businesses going under, rising homelessness, demoralized police, the May riots that left our beloved city in burning ashes.

My entire reason for being on the La Mesa City Council is real issues: Police, permits, potholes, litter, stopping ugly apartment buildings from destroying the charm of La Mesa, and implementing real solutions to the growing homeless problem.

Half the time I show up for city council meetings, I ask myself, “Am I at a United Nations or World Economic Forum meeting?” The agendas are that global and not applicable to La Mesa.

Lastly, I don’t do “dog whistles.” No one has ever accused me of being nuanced. I bluntly condemn Identity Politics. A society our neighbors, and of course, knowing that you are an integral and influential part of the best neighborhood in San Diego.

If you care about Hillcrest, regardless of your postal address; if you find yourself feeling a deepseeded need to do something; if you have always wanted to get involved with something that matters, we need you.

Our monthly community meetings are the second Tuesday of every month at 6:30 pm. We currently meet at AXIS Studios (the building that is home to AWOL bar) at 1475 University Avenue.

Please contact us at hillcresttc@outlook.com to get involved or be added to our email list to learn about more. ▼ built on Identity Politics and not merit will fail.

Current San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria just announced his reelection campaign. His sales pitch:

When you elected me as mayor of San Diego, you made history by electing the first person of color and LGBTQ+ person to be elected San Diego mayor. I am grateful every day for that honor. Winning re-election is an opportunity to confirm that San Diego will not turn back on the progress we have made together. That building a city that works for all of us will continue.

Progress? A city that works for all of us?

San Diego is filthy. The homeless population has tripled under Gloria. The squalor and misery shock the senses; repel residents, businesses, and tourism; and depress the soul. But, hey! He’s the first person of color and LGBTQ+ mayor. Really? Is that what matters?

I knew my amendment was going to cause a stir and not garner support from my colleagues on the dais, but I had to do it. Flying any flag on tax-funded public property that is not 100% representative of all La Mesa citizens is wrong. So is staying silent.

See LETTERS page 7

LGBTQ San Diego County News P.O. Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858-886-9458

PUBLISHER

Eddie Reynoso publisher@lgbtqsd.news

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Morgan M. Hurley editor@lgbtqsd.news

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Jerod Thompson

COMMUNITY EDITOR

Benny Cartwright community@lgbtqsd.news

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Big Mike Phillips

WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtqsd.news

ADVERTISING SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news 858-886-9458

SENIOR COLUMNIST

Nicole Murray Ramirez

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Jason Frye

Korie Houston

Michael Kimmel

Connor Maddocks

Mike Phillips

Neal Putnam

Frank Sabatini Jr.

Patric Stillman

PUBLISHER EMERITUS

Terry Sidie

David Mannis

ASSOC. PUBLISHER EMERITUS

Nicole Murray Ramirez

SUBMISSIONS / NEWS

TIPS

For tips, stories, letters to the editor, or other media inquiries, email editor@lgbtqsd.news.

REPRESENTATIVE

DISTRIBUTION

LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free monthly. © 2023. All Rights Reserved.

EDITOR’S NOTE

The opinions written in this publication’s advertorial, editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

This publication was supported in part by funding provided by the State of California, administered by the California State Library.

Additional support in part has been provided by funding from the City of San Diego.

From Page 6 Letters

Drag Queen support

[Ref: “Sisters in Arms,” Vol. 4, Issue 17, or online bit.ly/4593Z2j]

As we all know, drag queens are awesome entertainers and people. I feel like we’re in the ‘70s again in this country when it comes to LGBT rights and it is beyond upsetting.

–JC Booker, via Facebook

New publisher response

[Ref: “OpEd: Mom, Guess What?,” Vol. 4, Issue 17, or online bit.ly/44S0DRB]

When I saw this headline just now, I had to take a double look, which only made the smile that much more genuine. Eddie has been an influencer in not only Hillcrest, but the LGBTQ+ community here in San Diego. There is a sense of journalistic excellence that will carry forward with the enthusiasm that under his new leadership will carry the LGBTQ San Diego County News into the future.

–Sister Ida Know, via lgbtqsd.news

Congratulations Eddie. I wish you and the paper the best.

–DL Shearer, via lgbtqsd.news

Congratulations! I’m glad to see the return of a local news source. I wish you great success!

–Steve Sallis, via lgbtqsd.news

Back in the saddle

[Ref: “OpEd: How Sweet It Is,” Vol. 4, Issue 17, or online bit.ly/459Z7K7]

It is wonderful news to read that Morgan has returned to publishing as Editor-in-Chief. There are few reasons I have been inspired to write comments. Finding two reasons today has made this Pride Season much more special. My own experiences with Morgan in the past have always been with her urging and inspiring me to find my own voice in print. Congratulations and Thank YOU for being an inspiration.

–Sister Ida Know, via lgbtqsd.news

Big Love for Big Mike

[Ref: “The Shoulders I Stand Upon: How Did I Get Here?,” Vol. 4, Issue 17, or online bit.ly/3OfEtl7]

Great article, Big Mike! Thank you for sharing it. I look forward to your future stories about yours and the lives of all who shoulders we stand upon. Now 76 years young,

I am grateful for the shoulders we all stood upon. Those advocates and activists before us were the shoulders we still stand upon. Past LGBTQ+ generations enabled us to survive and strengthened our shoulders so incoming generations will have the support and gather the strength to prepare their own shoulders that those after us will have them to carry on the work that creates even greater understanding, compassion and acceptance as children of this world. Your writings will share the victories, losses, sorrows and joys as our community continues to reinforce the foundations of equality for all.

—William E. Kelly, via lgbtqsd.news

We owe Tino a big thank you. The fabric of our community here in San Diego would not be as colorful without you. Thank you for giving San Diego that one year that lasted thirty-three.

–Fernan Balsalubre, via lgbtqsd.news

That’s a beautiful story although certainly sad. Thank you for sharing it with us. I’m very glad that you are in San Diego

–Brian Casey, via lgbtqsd.news

Honoring Coyote Moon

[Ref: “My Pride Inspiration,” Vol. 4, Issue 19, or online bit.ly/3qeWLuM]

Well written, Morgan! Her story writes itself … so much passion for all things she cared about.

–Lorraine Neville, Facebook

Excellent story about Moon. I’ve known her for years but never knew much about her bio. Thank you for sharing

–Bradley Bang, via lgbtqsd.news

Absolutely stunning way to share and honor Moon’s story. She was a force, we shall never forget. Ride in Paradise Coyote Moon.

–Sarah Holstrom, via lgbtqsd.news

This is a beautiful tribute to a remarkable woman. May her courage and tenacity spark all of us to activism.

–Bernadette Barry, via Facebook

Rob Benzon tribute

[Ref: “The Shoulders I Stand Upon: Tragedy to Triumph,” Vol. 4, Issue 19, or online bit.ly/3qdvsks]

Thank you for sharing this story of love and compassion among these great friends. Rob’s and Dan’s memories live on through gifts that have helped launch others to be their best selves.

–PFLAG San Diego County representative, via Facebook ▼

Change is coming … how to adapt

In a dynamic, ever-changing neighborhood like Hillcrest, it’s rare to meet people who are actually from San Diego. This neighborhood is one that people from all over come to visit and stay in, many escaping places where they felt they couldn’t be themselves. And while we are so glad that our neighborhood is made up of people from all over, it’s not often you meet someone who was not only born and raised in San Diego, but actually born in Hillcrest.

Yes, I was born in May of 1980 at what was then referred to as “University Hospital” – now UC San Diego Health Hillcrest. I was also lucky enough to get to spend a good deal of my youth in the neighborhood. My mom worked

About Commissioners’ Homophobic/ Antisemitic

Remarks

The media has been doing a solid job of covering and educating the general public about the San Diego County Human Relations Commission and the recent homophobic and antisemitic remarks made at three meetings by its own members. More specifically, the media has covered how the Commission Chair allowed those comments to be made unchallenged and did not call the speakers out of order. Despite pleas from leaders within both communities, no apology was made to either the Jewish community or the LGBTQ community for these attacks that in an accounting firm that had its office on various parts of Fourth Avenue in the 1980s and early ’90s. Being that she was a single parent and even then, childcare was expensive, I would often ride the city bus after school from our Allied Gardens neighborhood to Hillcrest to hang in my mom’s office. Her co-workers would often give me a $5 bill and send me on a walk up the street to Baltimore Bagel (now Einstein Bros. Bagels) to get the box of a dozen bagels that were like $2.99 or something after 2 pm. have brought pain and hurt to these two communities.

My family also enjoyed eating at the Chicken Pie Shop when it was on the corner of Fifth and Robinson (most recently Starbucks, now vacant), and we’d usually sit at the same window booth that had a direct view of the entrance to The Brass Rail (now called The Rail).

I watched with curiosity as the evening crowd would go in and out of that bar, having no idea that in 2001, it would be the first San Diego gay bar I would visit after turning 21.

When I was 15 years old and started to understand that I was gay, I really wanted to get to Hillcrest. Even though the bus only cost $1 back then, I didn’t always have $1, and if I did, I wanted to save my dollars for my favorite – the Jumbo Jack Meal at Jack-in-the-Box, which was only $2.99 then. I realized that I could ride my bike to Hillcrest from the house I grew up in if I just took a few streets, then followed El Cajon Boulevard all the way down.

One Commissioner called the LGBTQ community, especially transgender people, and I quote “An abomination before God.” I must give much credit to former Commissioner Caroline (Cara) Dessert (CEO, The San Diego LGBT Community Center) for her leadership in our efforts to rightfully have that commissioner removed after he doubled down on his hate speech and has refused to this day to retract his hateful words.

The Commission took a vote and refused to remove him.

In fact, many Commissioners supported his hate speech as “free speech” and he remains on the Commission to this day. We lost three outstanding Commissioners who resigned after this vote, including transgender and Filipino community icon Julia Legaspi who was the subject of this hate attack.

This non-action by the Commission occurred about a year ago and, I believe, set the stage for the current antisemitic remarks by two Commissioners who have not only stood by their remarks, but one still serves on the Commission.

This County Commission was created by our County Supervisors to “help reduce discrimination and intolerance.”

The San Diego County Human Relations Commission has absolutely failed in its mission and has lost its way.

As many of you know, I lobbied for more than 30 years to get this Commission reinstated and worked closely with former Supervisor Ron Roberts, District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis,

That first trip I took to Hillcrest on my bike only lasted a few minutes as once I got to the neighborhood, I was a bit overwhelmed and realized I hadn’t made a plan as to where I would go once there. There wasn’t easily accessible internet service back then, where I could’ve just looked up suggestions for coffee houses or places to go. So I had a look and turned back around. It was a nice bike ride.

Ever since about two years after that, Hillcrest has been my home-away-from-home or home. I have had a connection to this neighborhood since birth, and I care a lot about it. I have seen it grow and change quite a lot – but it is also experiencing another period of pretty drastic growth, and there are a variety of mixed feelings about it.

As one of San Diego’s central, urban neighborhoods, filled with vibrant nightlife, dining, and more, it is a very desirable place to live. It’s minutes from downtown, and close to just about everything else.

The city is facing a housing shortage and it’s not uncommon for there to be heavy competition for available rental units. San Diego is now the most expensive rental and housing market in the United States, and all of us in Hillcrest are especially seeing that. As the city works to solve this crisis, all sorts of new development is happening. Some development, like we have never seen before in Hillcrest.

For example, after nearly 40 years of sitting vacant, the Pernicano’s building at one and former Supervisor Nathan Fletcher. We could never get the third vote until we saw the horror of the attack at the Jewish synagogue in Poway. Only then did Nathan get a unanimous vote to move forward.

I recommended that the Commission be named after civil rights icon former Supervisor Leon Williams and Nathan succeeded in doing that. I served as this Commission’s first elected vice-chair and was successful in getting my six proposals passed by the Commission during my term:

1. That every meeting would start with recognizing whose land we stand on;

2. Supporting the establishment of a permanent Holocaust museum in San Diego County;

3. Supporting the continuing of “Friendship Park” at the Tijuana/USA border;

4. Supporting the re-naming of the infamous bridge in Alabama after the late Congressman John Lewis;

5. Supporting the national campaign to get a U.S. postage stamp named after civil rights icon Bayard Rustin; and,

6. Establishing the Commission’s annual awards on United Nations Day, which in 1948 adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

While I am appreciative of the Commission’s support and vote for my six proposals, I cannot think of any other stances this particular Commission has of the neighborhood’s most visible intersections, Sixth and University avenues, was finally torn down last year to make way for an eight-story apartment and retail development. As the project nears completion, it is almost unbelievable to see, no matter how long this development has been in progress now. It stands tall over the previously very prominent buildings, like the former City Deli space on Sixth and University, and the Guild Theater building on Fifth. It butts up against the back patio of Number One Fifth Avenue, and if you haven’t been back there lately, it’s wild. The entire back patio is surrounded by the development and it’s a fascinating example of the old and new coming together in the neighborhood.

This is part of Hillcrest’s ever-changing, dynamic nature, but it’s perfectly understandable that some people are concerned about what is next for the neighborhood. Many of the new apartment buildings have price tags starting around $2,000 for a 300-square-foot studio, all the way up to $5,000-$6,000 a month for a two bedroom. This will certainly bring in a different class of people to the neighborhood, which has for many years been affordable for the many service industry workers and young LGBTQ people who came to find their place. Will Hillcrest remain affordable for these groups?

Also, as I alluded to in my column last month, these new developments may bring in non- taken. In fact, this Commission has held two Community Town Hall Meetings, supposedly to get feedback from the people in North County and South Bay. And with 25 members on the commission, only about six showed up at both community meetings!

The County Human Relations Commission has lost the support of our County’s diverse communities. Today, a dark cloud continues to not only hang over it, but to grow. Now the elected District Attorney and Sheriff have rightly resigned from the Commission, and I applaud their statements and stand against antisemitism and homophobia.

If this Commission is to continue, it must take strong stands and send strong messages of change to the general public.

My recommendations:

1. The current chair must step down and new leadership elected.

2. The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) should be given a permanent seat as other organizations have, and two more Jewish Commissioners should be appointed.

3. A strong statement against antisemitism (which is on the rise

LGBTQ people who are attracted to the shiny new buildings and their amenities, situated in the midst of a neighborhood that has a lot of exciting things going on. Will these people care about our neighborhood’s history and the importance of the spaces we have created? Will the future residents of the building that basically surrounds Number One Fifth Avenue’s popular outdoor patio complain about the noise and find a way to have it shut down? Will we lose our neighborhood identity, or even our designation as a gayborhood if it changes enough?

These are all questions and concerns that many are grappling with. The neighborhood has changed many times over its 125-year history, but this time, we risk losing the LGBTQ identity that was created over a 50+ year time period, due to a society that wouldn’t accept us anywhere else in town. I think it’s important we fight for our gayborhood, no matter how much the physical neighborhood changes.

One way to do this is to support the Hillcrest Business Association’s LGBTQ Cultural District Proposal. According to the proposal, “Hillcrest and its rich LGBTQ+ history requires creative solutions to ensure it is preserved and protected. We must take action now to ensure its longevity as a hub for LGBT culture and business in San Diego.”

See TO ADAPT page 17 in San Diego County) must be put forth by this Commission as the Board of Supervisors has done; and a strong statement in support of the LGBTQ community, especially the transgender community, must be made.

4. The new chair must commit to calling any hate speech – made by a Commissioner or during public comment – “out of order.”

I do want to thank our Commission’s hard-working staff during this difficult time and I also salute the City of San Diego’s Human Relations Commission for its decades of bringing communities together.

Even though I continue to receive hate calls, I will always stand up for any community subjected to hate speech. Thank you for reading this. Please contact me if you have any comments.

–Nicole Murray Ramirez is a lifelong Latino and LGBT activist and advocate, a longtime city commissioner, and is the Queen Mother of the International Imperial Court of the Americas. He can be reached at nicolemrSD1@gmail.com.

Hal Frost and the early years of the Brass Rail

I’m very pleased and excited to be asked by this publication to share my history as I witnessed and lived it. As of August 18, 2023, it will be 34 years since moving to and living in San Diego, creating amazing friendships and a loving family.

When I first moved to San Diego in 1989, I did not know anyone, except my best friend Tino Graziano, who had moved to San Diego for HIV/AIDS health care.

I needed a job, so I went out and applied at every gay bar in town for employment but had no luck. It was a bit overwhelming, I must say. Moving from San Antonio, Texas, where everyone knew me, to San Diego, where I was just another face in the crowd, was truly challenging and scary for me. About a month before Tino died, I finally did get a part-time job working at Embassy Suites Hotel downtown as a banquet server for the Christmas holidays.

It just so happened that the manager at Embassy Suites who hired me was also gay, and shortly after I started working there, I became his roommate. One day after a long shift, he invited me to join him and a couple of his friends to have a beer at The Brass Rail. I was hesitant at first, because every time I had walked by, it seemed to have a very dark and depressing atmosphere, but I decided to go anyway. I have to say, I am very glad that I did.

Jason, the bartender who was on duty that day, was flirting with me; you must remember that I was still young, thin, and desirable, lol, at least I thought I was. I decided I better take the opportunity to ask him if the bar had any openings for a bartender. Jason leaned over the bar and whispered in my ear, “If you have sex with me, I will get you a job here.”

Now mind you, Jason was a handsome man, had done porn in the past, and I needed a secure job, so I whispered back in his ear, “Ok, but you will have to get me the job first, then I will have sex with you.”

I felt weird at first, but I also took it as a compliment that he would take the time to help me just to have sex with me.

Well, Jason came through and I started working at The Brass Rail on Tuesday, December 25, 1989. It was the best Christmas gift I had ever had. Yes, I did keep my promise to Jason; unfortunately it was not enjoyable at all, the sex was boring, but I was always grateful to him for helping me get the job and we remained friends until he died a few years later of AIDS.

A little history

Back in 1958, The Brass Rail was located downtown, and it was purchased by Lou Arko, who converted it to a predominantly gay-customer-based bar. In 1963, the building was sold to make way for a new high-rise and Lou moved to the northwest corner of Fifth and Robinson avenues in Hillcrest, the site of today’s Chase Bank.

The new location was smaller and no longer had a restaurant, but back then it was mostly men who made their new home around its piano bar. Without even realizing it at the time, this straight man had started what is now the San Diego “gayborhood” in Hillcrest.

Ten years later, in 1967, Lou was again forced to move the business due to redevelopment, and he moved across the street to its current location. The bar was half the size it is now, but still it prospered. Lou met his wife Carol (who would later own Number One on Fifth) in 1976, and the couple acquired the Brass Rail property in 1992 (in addition to the bar).

In 1993, Art Cunningham bought the property and began expanding the bar’s footprint, buying up neighboring storefronts. One housed Finest City Properties and another was Hillcrest Travel. When Art passed away, his daughter, Gayle Santillan, took the reins and later oversaw an extensive remodel in 2016, giving it a “prohibitiontime feel,” and she rebranded the bar as The Rail.

Gail recently sold The Rail to Urbano Pelicano (a prior manager at Numbers) and his business partner, Isaac Vargas. I think it safe to say we all wish them a huge success in keeping this historical institution alive and prosperous.

The Brass Rail opened the door for me and gave me a place to belong in San Diego. It was here where I found my new family and met so many people in my community. Back in those early days before computers, the bars were a place we gathered, they were our community centers, but add the fact that they also served liquor and had dancing, and they became our escape.

An Ode to Mother Hal I’ve been fortunate to have met some great people in my life, many who are still in my life to this day; individuals who have left their mark on my personality, abilities, commitment, and loyalty, and influenced me to become a better person. Hal Frost was one of these few people. He changed my life.

Many of you may not know him, but for many in San Diego, he was simply known as “Mother Hal,” a title he loved to be called over the years. Many of his employees, of which I was one, considered him caring and loving. Sometimes strict but in the right way, he was thoughtful and very giving. He loved his food, and loved cooking, especially when he could feed all of us.

I remember our first meeting as if it were yesterday. The day after New Year’s Eve, Lou Arco (the owner of the bar) called a meeting with all the staff to introduce us to the new general manager, Hal Frost. Hal took full control and told us right out front that most of us would be replaced. Scared that I was going to lose my job after just being hired the week before, I asked to talk to Hal in the office.

We went in, I introduced myself and told him that I had just been hired on Christmas Day and to please just give me a chance to prove myself. I told him that I’d been living in San Diego since August and was finally happy to find an opportunity to work in a gay bar.

Hal said, “I will give you the Monday through Friday day shifts.” He gave me three months to prove myself, and if I did good, I could keep the shift.

I had to find a way to let people know who I was and that I was the new day bartender at The Brass Rail. In my mind, there was only one way to do this; I decided to go out every single night to the Imperial Court de San Diego, to host charity events in the bar. Over the 15 years that Hal managed the bar, it raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, most of which went to AIDS causes. He was very proud that The Brass Rail had such a positive reputation and was known for hosting so many benefits to help give back. every bar on their busiest nights, those designated as “the place to be,” and I would introduce myself to everyone. I’m not afraid to talk to people, thank God.

Hal always considered that the bars would be a safe place to be in those early days of all the hate and discrimination.

The cool thing is that Hal gave me 100 “buy one drink get the second one free” cards to help me get people in to see me. The cards were only good for my shift and had an expiration date. They worked well, I must add, it gave me the opportunity to build a day crowd, and the rest is history.

Hal had a good sense of judging people; so many of us – like Nigel Mayer, Joey Arruda, Michael Mack, Michael Lunsford, Charlie Gaffey (RIP), Fernando Lara (Miss FiFi), and Sandy Davis, who already worked at the Brass Rail before Hal took over – we were just a small group of guys who got our start at The Brass Rail and were able to move forward in many great ways that benefited our community. We all still do our best to stay in touch and consider each other family.

It was even then I met and became great friends with Nicole Murray Ramirez, who started the DreamGirls Review. I grew up watching Hunter, Marilyn, Miss FiFi, and so many girls from those early days. I also witnessed the first ever performance of Chad Michael on the Brass Rail stage. Chad would go on to win the first RuPaul’s All Stars and has become a San Diego icon in her own right. I am blessed to have a wonderful and loving friendship with both Chad and his amazing husband Adam to this very day.

It was because of Hal’s love for our community that he always encouraged an open-door policy to welcome groups, especially

Sadly, nowadays we are going backwards in our country, with all the hate and discrimination as if it never changed.

Hal never got the credit for a lot of the chances he took back in those early days, but then he never looked to be praised, his reward was seeing a full bar, people having a great time, and a successful evening.

Few people know this, but Hal started the first Wet and Wild at Peacock Alley. When he took over The Brass Rail, it was Hal who started the first Latino Night, with the support and encouragement of Franko Guillen (aka Francesa); then Hal started the first Hip Hop Night, and both nights had lines down the block. Of course, then the other bars started doing the same nights that Hal had created. It makes my heart feel good to tell Hal’s story and all the good he did.

Hal quietly passed away peacefully in his sleep a couple hours after he was released from the hospital for heart problems. I had picked him up and drove him home, and I remember walking him inside his house, giving him a big hug, and saying I love you. Hal in return said: “Thank you and I love you too.” I told him I’d call him in the morning before I came over to visit, to see if he needed anything. A few hours later, his brother called to tell me that he had gone in to check on Hal and discovered he was at peace and no longer in pain. That was June 22, 2016, and I lost one of my favorite human beings in life.

I miss my dear friend, he was my family, he always had my back. He was amazing, loving, caring, loyal and all the bars he managed were very successful.

Thank you, Hal, for being a trailblazer and part of the fabric of our community for over 25 years, and creating a new kind of gay and lesbian nightlife. In my mind and heart, and I’m sure in many others’ as well, Hal will always be remembered as the

Job Hunting for Success

Fall is coming and that means a time of renewal after the hot, lazy summer. For many it’s a time of change, whether it’s going back to school, coming home after a summer job away from home, or maybe just a continuation of regular life and job responsibilities.

But this brings up some questions: Are you happy with your job? Are you looking for something new that better fits your skills? Are you working in a hostile environment that is wreaking havoc on your body and soul?

Maybe it’s time for a change!

We all know that change can be scary, and we also know that new jobs and job hunting can be especially scary and stressful. But there are ways to minimize at least some of that stress.

Here are some tips I’ve compiled to help:

Be Prepared

Know your skills. Take a personal inventory of your entire self, not just what you think of as job skills.

For instance, being organized. Is your home, your ways of keeping up with paying bills, attending appointments, car maintenance, keeping up with children, etc., fairly organized? Do you have a system? These are job skills! Employers love organized people.

Creativity! There are lots of different ways to have creativity. We usually think of creativity as painting, drawing, needlework, or maybe with music. These are great creative outlets and you can use these when worded appropriately on your resume. Don’t forget all the other ways we are creative. Part of living in the world as our true authentic selves is an incredible work of creativity. Think of all the ways in which you are and have been negotiating your place in the world. How am I going to dress? What do I want my hair to look like? Choices of make-up or facial hair. If you are stealth, you must have thought of so many ways to make that happen for yourself.

Are you handy around the house? Do you come up with ideas to personalize your habitat, or maybe something broke and you figured out a way to fix it on your own. All these things need creativity, so if you are like me and think you don’t have a creative bone in your body, think again and translate these skills into workplace bonuses on your resume.

Being creative, being organized, being a self-starter, and being confident are all traits you have if you have done all or many of the things above.

Know yourself and never undermine all the skills you have, because you are a rockstar! Sell it and you’ll have step one down.

Next, take a good hard look at what makes you happy. What are you passionate about? In order to be successful, you should love your job and it should love you. Putting your body and soul into going to work every day should not be drudgery or negatively stressful. Think about any jobs you might have had that made you happy, then reach for the stars. Come up with a list of jobs you would like to have, then see if you have the skills required for it.

Be realistic! I always wanted to be a doctor, but unfortunately, I could not pass all the classes to get there. So, my job hunt is not going to include things like neurosurgeons or family practitioners. One big regret I have in my life is that instead of pursuing my dream of working in the medical field, I was so angry with myself for being too stupid that I ditched the entire idea. Don’t do that! Every kind of occupation has many important supporting roles for people. Figuring this out is paramount to job satisfaction and a happy work life.

If you think you might need a few more skills to do what you really want, going back to school is always an option, and often you can go to night school to get those additional tools into your toolbelt.

Research

Spend some time reading through websites, job search pages, local newspapers, and reading descriptions of the type of job you want.

Know the job market. Which jobs are in demand?

Think outside the box. If you like food, for example, check out all the different types of jobs in the food industry. My neighbor is a sales rep for a local food company that caters to almost every major venue in San Diego. You don’t have to cook it, but you can sell it.

Look at jobs that reflect your own personality. If you are shy and not very sociable, maybe a sales job is not for you. But there are lots of jobs where you can work on your own remotely or in an environment that needs a self-starter. Don’t count out opportunities until you really examine them. When you know your market, you can actualize what skills you have to bring to the workplace, and you will be better prepared for that all important interview.

Resume

There are places that can help you with your resume, or maybe you have a friend or acquaintance who has some mad skills. Your resume should be tuned to the job you are going after – it’s easy once your resume is done to create new ones that are customized to a different job by adding or changing a few items. Get a Linkedin account, or join other job search sites. Get your bad self out there!

Translate the abilities you worked on earlier into amazing skills that you possess. For

I’m not your Manic Pixie Dream Gay

Houston we have a problem. What is the problem you ask? Well simply put, our community has an issue with femininity. Let’s talk about it.

I watch a lot of movies and television. The trope of the manic pixie dream girl has plagued cinema and literature for decades. For those of you who don’t know what that means, the trope is essentially a young woman whose entire purpose is to teach a man about what life means to them. An unobtainable creature of no particular habit whose sole purpose is to be a man’s North Star. But what about when that same trope applies to the emotional constipation that’s dating within the queer scene?

Let’s face it, physical relationships, whether a one night stand or a friend with benefits, sounds appealing to many in our community. I’ll pose some questions. What’s the line drawn between this mythical enigma and the femininity of flamboyance? Why do we value femininity when it comes from celebrities, reality stars, and all others in that category, but not from the people who continue to walk that line every day?

I don’t identify as feminine or masculine, I’m just Korie. I’m an imperfect person as we all are and guess what? That should be enough. But there is this deep rooted stigma attached to the friendships, dating and all of the parallels that happen to go with someone who’s a little more limp-wristed than your average masc4masc darling. So why is this a problem you ask? Breaking it down for you, all of the same reasons you praise and love someone for being their most authentic self and remind them to be a little extra are equally some of the same reasons you don’t want them in your orbit. “They’re too much.” “Can you tone it down?” or “You’re a little too flamboyant.” Those are all sentences that I’ve heard before. After a while, it strikes a nerve. Am I the problem?

The answer to that question is “No.” When your dating profile requires a caveat that says “Looking for someone a little more low key,” that’s a preference, but isn’t that also just a dog whistle for saying “looking for someone less gay?”

When I walk into a room I light it up. Charisma. Uniqueness. Nerve. Talent. I was once ghosted by someone who for all intents and purposes embraced the aspects of me being extra. Yet at the same time, I truly felt like their own substitute for a life lesson. Someone else whom I was once interested in told me that I’m really not the “type” they were looking for, while doing everything else that would signify we were dating. Before that revelation, I did find out that previous partners all fit the same type. But, I was something a little different to him. We won’t give this man a nickname, but maybe I’ll change my mind.

That being said, what is this deep rooted fetishization of a “man’s man”? I am your type, as you learn valuable lessons from me. I spark joy, creativity and a sense of adventure in your life, but I’m not dateable. If we learned anything from Netflix’s “Glamorous” it’s that we should never settle for the person who says you should “tone it down.” I am not your manic pixie dream gay. I’m my own person with wants and needs beyond superficial companionship.

So why is this such a problem to me? Aside from the fact that it hits close to home, across all walks of life our community often doesn’t seem able to move the needle past internalized homophobia and misogyny, yet at the same time takes on the mannerisms that we deem as “feminine.”

There is this innate desire to be taken care of. To have a man for all intents and purposes be this dutiful and strong caretaker; who also can change a lightbulb, deadlift a weight number that doesn’t exist to me, and lastly, be able to take charge in the bedroom until you can’t walk. The pinnacle of masculinity, as some would believe.

Yet, there’s the people out there who aren’t as strong, not as bulky and at the end of the day, you’d call them a little softer in comparison. Those are the same people within this community who some would say blaze trails in ways you would never anticipate because you count them out. Do we have a problem with femininity or do we have a problem with the perception of weakness? Is it not strength to show up as your truest self?

Drag queens, trans women, people who fall under the spectrum of butch and so many more have done more work for this community than I have the ability to speak on; from the movements of Stonewall to the spaces we continue to occupy. Yet these are the same people who we have the same questions of. Those questions range from why are they so feminine? to how are they not feminine enough? The wisdom espoused by these same individuals is enough to teach you a lesson within yourself yet not enough to make you see yourself with them. This isn’t to say, you can’t have a “preference,” because we all do. This is to say that there’s more to life than our perceived standards of beauty. There’s more to life than a narrow view whether someone is presenting in the way that you perceive as right. Lastly, there’s more to life than placing expectations on people who don’t know what your endgame is.

If movies like “500 Days of Summer,” “Garden State,” “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World,” “Love Simon,” and “Call Me by Your Name” have taught me anything, it’s that I am guilty of it too. I’ve watched these films over the course of several decades and it taught me that I create an aura of mystery at times instead of being real.

I do know that I gravitate toward people who tend to see me in a way that isn’t truly genuine. As I said and will say loudly, I am not your manic pixie dream gay. I am not here to heal you, I am not here to teach you, and my purpose in life exists outside of you.

As someone who has felt the need many times to conform to the expectations of others, I crumble under the weight of pressure. At times I don’t feel good enough, but unlike our characters in many of these films, I don’t get to walk into the sunset. I’m left wondering, did I just waste my time again teaching lessons instead of learning from them?

Think about the people in your lives who you treat this way. Are they a lover or a lesson? Is the entire relationship built around catering to their needs? We’re all our own main characters but you are not someone else’s main character. Gender and presentation do not have to go hand-in-hand and these deep rooted traits of masculinity vs femininity are not helpful for how we as a society move forward. Is this a binary we place ourselves in or one that others have already created for us?

I’m not dreaming; I’m living in a reality that can always change for the better. How I choose to present and walk into a room should have no bearing on my desirability. In the end, all I have to say is, how can we all show up more defiantly and confidently in our relationships?

–Korie Houston is a local social justice advocate. Reach him at koriehouston@zoho.com.

Sorry/Not Sorry

When I lived in England, I was surprised how many times I heard people say, “Sorry.”

Not “I’m sorry,” just “Sorry,” It seemed like the whole country was apologizing for the slightest little thing, over-and-over again. Was there really that much to apologize for? What does it say about a country that was constantly apologizing? Are they overly polite, a bit too defensive, highly considerate … Or a little bit of each?

Meanwhile, here in America, for some of us, apologizing has almost become a reflex. Apologizing is part of our desire to be liked by others. Saying “I’m sorry” when you’ve accidentally (or purposely) hurt someone is a mature, empathic thing to do.

There’s nothing wrong with apologizing, but being over-apologetic isn’t a good thing. Passive people seem to be sorry for everything, even their existence. I’ve had clients who didn’t feel like they had the right to take up space, to stand their ground … to be themselves. Many of them were trained to be constantly “sorry.”

It’s a hard habit to break. Believe me, I know.

As a young, skinny, gay boy with terrible posture, big ears and coke bottle glasses, I was always apologizing; for being too loud, wearing clothes that were too bright, dying my hair, wearing makeup, loving David Bowie … you name it, I was apologizing for it. My self-esteem was in the gutter.

If you’re an over-apologizer, like I used to be: consider these ideas to put “sorry” in its proper place:

1. Know when not to apologize.

Cut down on unnecessary apologies by acknowledging what you can’t control. If something’s not your responsibility, why apologize for it? Way too often, I used to say, “I’m sorry to bother you.” At work, we may need someone to do something (it’s usually part of their job). Our request is not an imposition. Of course, if we are asking for something unreasonable, e.g., “Could you stay until midnight to finish that project?” then an apology may be appropriate.

2. Be open and honest.

If your puppy is barking on a Zoom call, rather than say “I’m sorry,” you could explain that her dog walker is running late. Instead of apologizing for background noise, you can let the others know you’re doing some home remodeling. And if you need something urgently, let the other person know why.

3. Learn from it.

If something doesn’t go as planned -- even if it’s your fault -- instead of “I’m sorry,” acknowledge what went wrong and what you can learn from it: “That didn’t go as I’d hoped. Here’s what I’ll do differently next time.”

4. “Not Sorry.”

Let’s talk about those people who never apologize. These folks are either afraid to appear weak (they’re insecure) or they’re so self-absorbed that they don’t ever think that they need to apologize (they’re narcissists). A little dose of humility might do them a whole lot of good.

5. Use empathy, not sympathy.

Sympathy is saying, “I’m sorry that happened.” Empathy is saying, “It sounds like that was hard for you.” There’s nothing wrong with sympathy, but empathy can actually deepen a relationship. You could, if someone’s baby is screaming bloody murder in line behind you at the supermarket, turn to the mother and say, “You know, I feel just like she does today.” You might make a new friend, and you’ll certainly make someone in a tough situation feel better.

6. Try gratitude. While over-apologizing drains our self-esteem, gratitude is a mood boost. So instead of saying, “I’m sorry for being late” to your friends waiting for you at Rich’s/ Gossip Grill/InsideOut, instead, you could thank everybody for their patience. Shift the paradigm.

7. Don’t be sorry for self-care. Sometimes this means setting a boundary and saying “no.” When you stand up for yourself, it normalizes the idea that you’re never too busy to take care of yourself. This is healthy assertiveness, not aggression. Try this and you’ll stop doing things you don’t want to do.

Since COVID is considered “over” now, we’re (once again) in transition. As we all find our footing in these “Sorry/Not Sorry” times, situations will arise where we want to apologize, but let’s not overuse it (too passive) or never use it (too aggressive). Look for the middle ground between the two extremes; some people call this “healthy assertiveness.” Check it out – it’s a nice place to live.

–Michael Dale Kimmel is a local licensed psychotherapist (LCSW 20738) in private practice, and a published author. You can learn more about him and his work at lifebeyondtherapy.com.

Behold the dramatic redo at The Lafayette Hotel

It takes just one step through the front door of The Lafayette Hotel to realize you are in an unrecognizable property compared to a year ago.

The unveiling of the hotel’s $31 million renovation occurred in late July to the tune of eight eating and drinking establishments miraculously fitted into the main lobby and its offshoot spaces. And as tradition holds, we are told the historic property will remain a place that welcomes LGBT-related events and pool parties.

Among the hotel’s new venues is Beginner’s Diner, which greets with neon signage, a chrome-trimmed lunch counter and a 24/7 kitchen that slings classic American fare with gourmet twists.

Taking over the spot formerly occupied by The Red Fox Room, which moved across the street, is Quixote, an Oaxacan-inspired restaurant that might leave you thinking you’ve just walked into a 200-year-old church.

Customers are greeted by stained glass windows, baroque pews and flickering candles.

There is also an elegant game room and cocktail lounge called The Gutter, which offers two bowling lanes at $30 an hour. Central to the remodel is the stunning Lobby Bar, where drinks are served under a large glass atrium amid old-timey brass lamps and views of the hotel’s swimming pool in the back.

“The Lafayette hotel has historically been a space for the LGBT community, and it will continue to do so,” said marketing rep Justine Marzoni-Mead as she pointed out additional restaurants due to open in October. Those will include a French-style steak house called Faux Pas; the agave-centric Mama Intento, and a jazz nightclub called The Mississippi Room Rooms throughout the 2.5acre hotel have been remodeled as well, and with a spa featuring Roman-style baths due to open later this year.

The redo was conceived by locally-based CH Projects, which purchased the hotel more than a year ago. It brought on Brooklynbased Post Company and various local and international artists to help create the transformation.

2223 El Cajon Blvd., 619-2962101, lafayettehotelsd.com

Keeping it local

Increased efforts are being made nationally to eat, shop and bank within our communities, thanks to seasonal campaigns put forth by the non-profit American Independent Business Alliance (AMIBA). For the month of August, the organization is running “Choose Indie Local,” which encourages consumers to patronize independentlyowned eating establishments within their locales.

Brad Weber of El Cajon, who owns Local Umbrella Media, is AMIBA’s only partner representing San Diego County. He has helped AMIBA promote awareness on a number of other initiatives, such as buying from gay-owned businesses during Pride month in June, as well as black-owned businesses in February, and women-owned companies in March. He does so through social media channels and free monthly newspapers that reach more than 140,000 mailboxes within San Diego County.

“Big corporations are actively building roads in our communities, and it is our job to build our own roads,” he said.

Among his favorite places for eating at independently owned restaurants during “Choose Indie Local” month are: Harley Grey in Mission Hills, Barrel & Board in Hillcrest, The French Gourmet in Pacific Beach, Soichi Sushi in University Heights, Ponce’s in Kensington, and Cali BBQ in Spring Valley (and Harley Grey and Barrel & Board are both LGBTQ-owned).

“But don’t just limit yourself to these,” he added. “My advice is walk through San Diego neighborhoods, stop in and try them all. When you dine at independent restaurants, the money stays within the community and it gets reinvested locally. These business owners are often friends and neighbors, so it’s important to keep it local.” amiba.net

Pinky fingers out

A few hundred people turned out in late July for the daylong soft opening of Brittania Tea Rooms, which officially opens Aug. 4. The business occupies the space that formerly housed Country Waffles in the Midway District. It is owned by Selina Stockley, who also runs Shakespeare’s Corner Shoppe on India Street in Mission Hills.

Stockley and her team transformed the space into an elegantly whimsical environment appointed in colorful décor influenced by scenes from Alice in Wonderland. The “Mad Hatter’s Room” in the rear of the building, features a window looking into an artistically constructed fantasy garden. Clocks, mirrors and flowers are found throughout all areas.

Brittania will offer four sittings for afternoon tea, at 11 a.m., noon, and 2 and 3 p.m. every Friday through Tuesday. Themed teas are also on the schedule in the coming months, such as Shakespeare’s Bridgerton/ The Next Chapter, August 14-18. Check the website for details and a complete list. 2323 Midway Drive, 619-683-2748, afternoonteasandiego.com

Changes coming to ‘restaurant row’ in San Marcos

Known for decades as the Old California Restaurant Row, the 10-plus acre stretch of property will undergo gentrification under the developer San Marcos Restaurant Row LLC. For better or worse, the current plans are to incorporate 200 new housing units into the area, a 1.5-acre park, a small amphitheater and updated dining options throughout more than 10,000 square feet of designated commercial space.

The developer insists that historical elements of the area will be preserved and incorporated into the master design.

Until final plans are officially approved this fall by the San Marcos City Council, businesses on the row, such as Old California Coffee Company, The Old California Mining Company, and IHop, will remain open for the foreseeable future. Although closing on Aug. 18 is The 55 Yardline Bar and Grill, which has begun at other properties. Smrestaurantrow.com

Let’s talk ‘best pizza’

Two San Diego pizzerias recently received high honors in their rankings by two different media outlets.

The ever-popular Bronx Pizza in Hillcrest was named the best pizza in the state of California by the online travel guide, Far & Wide (farandwide.com).

Using data from Tripadvisor, the site called Bronx’s pies, “NY pizza done right.” It also applauded the pizzeria’s “huge slices.” 111 Washington St., 619-291-3341, bronxpizza.com

Tribute Pizza in North Park was named one of the 50 best pizza kitchens in the country by an Italian-run global travel guide called 50 Top Pizza (50toppizza.it). Tribute ranked number 36 on the list. The business was commended for its “good and varied” pizzas that strike “a mix between the New York-style pizza and the traditional Neapolitan style.” 3077 North Park Way, 619-450-4505, tributepizza.com.

–Frank Sabatini Jr. has been writing about food in San Diego for over 35 years. He launched his own food blog during the pandemic, called, “The Hash Star,” which you can follow at thehashstar.com. He can be reached at frank.sabatini92108@gmail.com. ▼

Artist Profile: Cuauhtémoc Kish

By Patric Stillman

Cuauhtémoc Kish, an accomplished local fabric artist, has traversed a remarkable journey from a small Pennsylvania town called Natrona Heights near Pittsburgh, to becoming an inspiring creator of fabric artworks.

Born in 1949, Kish, soon to celebrate his 74th birthday, recalls how he left Natrona Heights at the age of 17, seeking a path beyond its conventional and conservative constraints. The discovery of his own identity as a gay individual was a secret he guarded to avoid any potential discomfort among his parents’ friends and family.

“I knew I was gay but I was too young and alone to know what that meant. I didn’t have community resources like they have today.”

Kish decided to serve in the Army, spending three years stationed in Germany, which opened the door to a transformative adventure across various European countries, including stays in England, Denmark, France, and Italy.

With the intention of pursuing higher education through the GI Bill, Kish settled in Pennsylvania after his military service. Joining his brother, he enrolled in Slippery Rock State College. Subsequently, he earned a scholarship in Theater Arts at Westminster College in New Wilmington, Pennsylvania. His academic endeavors eventually led him to the University of Nevada, Reno, and San Diego State University. During this period, Kish explored diverse jobs, including working in casinos, studying court reporting and getting a cosmetology license.

“During those days, I never really considered the visual arts. I found my creative release in the theater and with writing.”

Finally settling in San Diego, Kish worked at local newspapers as a theater critic. His brother persuaded him to write children’s stories. Though they were never published, he found some success writing adult stories for several publications. He eventually self-published a book called The Sissy Chronicles.

His journey as a visual artist began unexpectedly during his time at Ayers Rock (Uluru) in Australia. Visiting a small cultural center, Kish encountered a captivating artwork created by the talented artist Caroline Sharkey. Enthralled by the beauty and intricacy of her artwork, he felt an immediate connection and decided to pursue fabric art. Without prior experience in sewing, Kish took the leap by enrolling in a local class taught by fabric artist Karen Cunagin. Guided by Karen, he quickly honed his skills, gaining mastery in the craft.

Kish’s artistic expression evolved over time, spanning a range of themes, from dancers and drag queens to political influences. His love for Mexico, fostered during his three-year sojourn there, inspired his art, often incorporating elements inspired by Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera’s renowned works. Fascinated by the culture’s richness, he found himself particularly captivated by the duality of life and death as represented by the use of Day of the Dead skeletons in Mexican folk art.

In his artistic journey, Kish sought to embrace his identity wholeheartedly, even adopting a new name to reflect his uniqueness. The transformation resulted in adopting the moniker “Cuauhtémoc Quetzalcoatl Kish” symbolizing the God, the King and himself as “the Queen.”

His partner, Jorge, has been an essential pillar of support throughout his artistic endeavors, the couple having met during a bike ride in Balboa Park in 1999.

Kish’s artistic process is fueled by inspiration drawn from his surroundings and experiences; be it political events, the inauguration, or personal encounters. While he occasionally accepts commissions, he values the freedom to create for himself, cherishing the creative flow unrestricted by external demands.

Reflecting on his journey as a fabric artist, Kish advises young aspiring artists to embark on a similar path of self-exploration. He encourages them to learn and refine their craft, taking inspiration from mentors, peers, and the artistic community.

For fiber artists, he recommends joining the national organization Studio Artists Quilt Associates (SAQA) and to participate locally with Visions Museum in Liberty Station, where they can make connections and find specialized workshops. For Kish, fabric art goes beyond the traditional perception of quilts, and he strives to elevate it to a new level of appreciation.

Kish’s artistic voyage has been one marked by discovery, self-expression, and unwavering dedication to his craft. His works are a testament to the beauty and complexity that fabric art can embody, a celebration of the diverse tapestry of life itself. As he continues to weave his art through life’s journey, Kish stands as an inspiration to all who seek creative liberation in their pursuit of artistic passion.

Cuauhtémoc Kish can be found online on Instagram at @cqkish and Facebook at @ Cuauhtemoc.q.kish.

–Patric Stillman is a fine artist and gallery owner of The Studio Door. If you are an artist in San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community and would like to be featured in an artist profile, please contact Patric for consideration at patric@thestudiodoor.com.

Lesbian Films, Happy Endings

ACROSS

1 Loads

2 Narrow walk

3 Lake of Ohio ferries

4 Beauty queens wear them

5 Antonio Bandera’s meat

6 Pigged out (on)

“___

FROM PAGE 2 BRIEFS

The New Children’s Museum created a new position for Hook-Held; that of Chief Strategic Advancement Officer, based on her experience helping to develop The Center’s strategic plan while there. In addition, she will be leading the development, membership, and marketing and communications departments, and will serve as a “key thought partner” to the New Children’s Museum’s CEO Elizabeth YangHellewell. She will officially join the team on Aug. 28.

“Rebekah is a passionate community advocate and the ideal person to lead telling the stories of impact at The New Children’s Museum,” said YangHellewell, in a press release. “As we celebrate our 40th anniversary this year, we are poised for our next transformative phase of growth and organizational development. Rebekah will play a key role in furthering our mission to spark creativity, exploration and a sense of belonging for all kids and families in our community.”

Hook-Held has become a mother herself in recent years, along with her wife, Shawna, making the move especially pertinent.

“As a parent of two young kids myself, I understand the transformative impact The New Children’s Museum has had on generations of San Diego youth,” Hook-Held said in the release. “I am excited to work with this incredible team to shape and share the Museum’s stories, including the world-class art installations, creative and educational programming, and accessibility opportunities that bring enriching museum experiences to more kids and families, within and beyond our walls.”

For 40 years, The New Children’s Museum has been the perfect collaboration of contemporary art museums, children’s museums, and community resources, which come together to offer art education programs and installations to create a “rich environment to foster creativity” with the children who visit. To learn more, visit thinkplaycreate.org

The highly-competitive, federally-funded program grants up to $30,000 for students who “demonstrate leadership potential, academic excellence, and a commitment to public service.” About 60 students are selected annually nationwide.

“As a 1999 Harry S. Truman Scholar, I am deeply honored to be nominated by President Biden to serve on the Foundation’s Board of Trustees,” said Mayor Todd Gloria in a press release. “I know how critical it is to support young people interested in careers in public service. That’s what the Truman Scholarship provided me, and I look forward to helping ensure it continues to develop America’s next generation of talented public servants.”

Chaired by former Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, the board is made up of 19 members and includes other administration officials and members of Congress. While the board meets on a bi-annual basis, the role is a volunteer position, receives no compensation, and must be approved by the Senate. For more information, visit truman.gov of her life, helping strengthen her leadership abilities. We welcome her to San Diego and wish her the best of luck.

Looking for a job? Visit cbp.org

Biden Nominates Gloria For Foundation Role

President Joe Biden recently selected San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria to serve as a trustee on the Harry S. Truman Scholarship Foundation. The foundation is a government foundation that oversees the selection of scholarship recipients, promoting careers in public service.

New San Diego Border Patrol Chief Is A Lesbian

Patricia McGurk-Daniel, a 24-year veteran of the US Customs and Border Patrol, was recently transferred from Yuma to San Diego, where she is taking over as Chief of the San Diego Sector. McGurk-Daniel, originally from El Paso, Texas, admitted to the San Diego Union Tribune that she left home “early” due to “family objections to her sexual orientation.”

After getting a degree in music, she was recruited for the Border Patrol while working behind a bar, and was the only female in her academy class. Her first post with the Border Patrol was in Nogales, Arizona.

Taking over for retired chief Aaron Heitke here in San Diego, McGurk-Daniel told the UT that her first order of business will be to get out in the field.

“One of my first jobs is going to the front lines and listening to my employees,” she said. “That includes my radio operators, that includes my mechanics, that includes agents on the front line and seeing where they are emotionally and mentally.?

She told the UT that she believes being a woman and a member of the LGBTQ community has helped her career in the Border Patrol, teaching her patience and empathy because of the discrimination she has always faced due to her intersectionality. She said she is certain her career has benefitted from both aspects

GOSSIP TO HOST ‘FISHNETS AND FILM’

Come out to see a combination of queer cinema and drag at an event that celebrates the Bear community this weekend, when Gossip Grill hosts “Fishnets and Film,” on Saturday, Aug. 5, starting at 6 pm, with a red carpet at 5 pm.

Created in 2021 by Robby Kendall who wanted to screen his first effort at filmmaking (a dark comedy about drag queens) and as a way to celebrate queer performance art and queer cinema, it has evolved into a film festival of its own. Kendall’s alter ego is Sweet Nothing, and she will emcee the event on Aug. 5.

There will be a “bear-themed” program featuring Tom Goss, who will rub elbows with VIP guests before the show at a preshow mixer. Goss’s bear-inspired film, “Reshaping Beauty” will screen, as well as a lesbian feature film to be determined, but local stand-up artist Cassidy Stains will keep attendees in stitches before the screening.

The films will be followed by a live Q&A period, hosted by the founder of the Film Consortium, Jodi Cilley.

Kendall is excited to have Tom, Cassidy and Jodi with him in San Diego. Fishnets and Film has events and recurring events all over Northern California.

For more information, contact Robby Kendall at Fishnets.Film@ gmail.com.

The Center Library Reopens

The San Diego LGBT Community Center’s popular and longstanding library has reopened to the public. Hours are Monday through Friday, 10 am to 4 pm. The Center has over 6,000 LGBTQ books available for perusal in their library. Come in and get your library card and check some out. With these warm summer days, spending a little time at the library and then going home to read a good book is a great way to pass the time. For more information, email seniors@thecentersd.org or call 619-692-2077, ext. 147, or visit thecentersd.org. ▼

FROM PAGE 9

To Adapt

If the city were to designate Hillcrest as such, there would be some added protection to ensure that this place maintains its identity. Learn more at hillcrestbia.org/lgbt-culturaldistrict.

Finally, support our local LGBTQ venues, businesses, bars, organizations and establishments! I know our community can be particular, but right now we need to be there for everyone who is trying to create and maintain spaces for us. A recent series of Facebook threads about a possible Hamburger Mary’s franchise coming to the neighborhood garnered a lot of negative feedback. We need more LGBTQ venues, not less. Let’s give everyone a chance who wants to make it here, and support them! Otherwise, we might become like every other neighborhood with our best dining option being a corporate chain restaurant like a Chili’s (and no hate on Chili’s, it’s a favorite, but we’re lucky to have more unique options)!

Next Sunday, Aug. 13, is the annual Hillcrest CityFest and I hope you’ll spend a few moments that day thinking about why Hillcrest is so important and worth saving – and then come out and celebrate this neighborhood with all you’ve got that day!

–Benny Cartwright is a longtime activist and community leader. Reach him at community@ lgbtqsd.news. Follow him on Instagram @BennyC80. ▼

FROM PAGE 11

Success

example, write something like this: I am an organized, selfstarter who enjoys looking at the big picture without losing sight of the details of any task. I am diligent and persistent and always follow through on all my projects. I can look at things in a creative way and find viable solutions that benefit the workplace.

Sell yourself!

Network So many people find a job through a friend, acquaintance, co-worker or others in their networks. Put out the word that

FROM PAGE 10 BRASS architect who helped change the nightlife and the way we partied in San Diego. Happy Mother’s Day, forever, Hal. I will always love and appreciate your dedication to our community, your friendship, support, loyalty, and most of all your love. I love and miss you.

These are the shoulders I stand upon. For more insight on our community’s bar history, take time to Google “San Diego Gay Bar History” and watch this wonderful documentary.

A personal note: I am and will always be grateful to all who have you are job hunting. Make a post on Facebook or Instagram, and add what type of job you are looking for. If you love your workplace, but not your job, check in with HR or even your boss to see what other opportunities they might have.

Keep your mind open. Don’t dismiss something simply because you don’t think you have all the right skills, employers are often happy to train folks who are worth their time and you are worth their time. Don’t underestimate yourself.

The Interview

This is the big moment. All your hard work has come to fruition and it’s time to sell it. Dress for success. Know the company you are interviewing pushed me, allowed me to cry on their shoulders, listened to me, and laughed and joked with me. I will forever be in their debt. In return I cannot move forward without believing and supporting those who have supported me. I believe working together, and listening to each other is how and why we have come as far as we have already.

In my heart, I feel we all want to be loved, as we share our love for those who matter most in our lives, to be there not only for our successes, but also the times that just did not work out the way we may have wanted.

I’m honored to have this platform to share my history, along with those that helped make a difference in my life, as with. Study what kind of questions the interviewer might ask and have your answers ready. Practice at home, maybe with a friend. You have to make yourself stand out from all the other applicants so be savvy about that. What can you say that will make the interviewer remember you? Use that creativity. Be well groomed. Maybe full business attire isn’t the right vibe for this place, so business casual might be better. Be confident! You are amazing! Be you!

–Connor Maddocks (he, him, his) is a Transgender activist, trainer, speaker, and advocate. You can reach him at neon411@ gmail.com. ▼ well as the chance to honor those who joined the cause by caring for our community. I pray this may also enlighten the curious young people and young leaders to understand that we are all human beings and without each other we may never have gotten where we are now.

One day, you as younger community members will have your own history to share, and I pray the new generation that follows you will understand how coming together makes a huge and positive difference.

–Big Mike Phillips is a local photographer, bartender, and longtime LGBT activist and fundraiser. You can reach him at bmsd1957@gmail.com. ▼

“So many times we’re told ‘no’ but not told the reason for that ‘no,’” she explained. “People deserve to understand the why, and we will work with them to figure out issues, be it with insurance or other things.”

Rooney also pointed out that a positive experience at the pharmacy can lead to better health outcomes.

“As I’ve said, it’s not about the medication, it’s about a person and their experience,” she said. “If they dread coming to the pharmacy, they may be less likely to adhere to their medication.”

Rooney said she loves Hillcrest – she’s been a part of the neighborhood for 32 years -- and she can’t wait to open her doors. The pharmacy is full-service, so while her career has focused on the HIV community, they can fill any type of prescription for any condition.

While Rooney herself is not a pharmacist, her business partner Dr. Penaranda is, and she has hired a full-time pharmacist who will begin work soon. Her pharmacist will be bilingual and is an expert in HIV and diabetes care.

Ivy Pharmacy should open in the next month, once they figure out some logistical challenges that come along with opening a business. There will be a grand opening celebration the day before the medications arrive so the community will be able to tour the entire space (community members won’t be allowed beyond the lobby area once medications are in the building). Rooney also hopes to sell and make a variety of other products accessible, like sexual wellness supplies, so people have a place to buy what they need without judgment.

The pharmacy will eventually take all pharmacies (except plans like Kaiser and TriCare, which are restricted to their own in-house pharmacies) and she looks forward to welcoming anyone and everyone looking for a new place to conveniently get their medications and wants to be served by friendly, supportive staff.

While the website was not yet active at the time of publication, Rooney said it will be live within a week and interested customers can reach out to her there. The website will be ivypharmacysd.com. The pharmacy will be located at 3940 Fourth Ave., in Hillcrest.

–Benny Cartwright is a longtime activist and community leader. Reach him at community@lgbtqsd.news. Follow him on Instagram @BennyC80. ▼

9TH ANNUAL BENNY’S RICK &