LGBTQ San Diego County News April 2023, Issue 4 Volume 13

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Theatre Is Drag. Drag Is Theatre. P14

On Stage P15

QUeer

City Attorney News: Stalking Is All Too Common; Reporting Isn’t P18

Assemblyman Ward News: Lifecycle Of A Bill P18

MCC

By Allan Acevedo

“Out

of the bars and into the streets,” Coco Peru recounted chanting at young bargoers when conversations first began circulating around the topic of “gay marriage,” the legendary drag queen shared on Delta Works’ hit podcast, Very Delta.

Peru compared the long-hard campaigns for marriage equality to our contemporary fights to protect trans and gender non-conforming youth and adults and in some places even drag. The release of the April 3 episode coincides with a temporary victory for opponents of Tennessee’s so-called “Drag ban.”

leaTher feTIsh ball 2023

CrImInalIzatIon

By Allan Acevedo

T

YOUTh Call fOr eNdINg HIVFor our readers who are not familiar with you, please tell us about yourself and your involvement in the community.

My name is Robert Rodriguez, I’ve been in this community going on almost 22 years. I’m a former Mr. Gay California, Mr. Latin Leather California, Mr. San Diego Eagle, Emperor 42 of San Diego, raised thousands of dollars for charities all over San Diego, Producer and Promoter of many events in San Diego

1 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13 LGBTQSD.NEW S APRIL 7, 2023 vo L um E 4 ISS uE 13 La Jolla Institute Institutional Review Board Protocol # VD-259-0822 A3 Approved for use until: 08/23/2023 Eligibility you are healthy, 18+ years old you have been infected with monkeypox and/or received the monkeypox vaccine Participation brief health questionnaire up to 5 study visits with blood draws compensation up to $500 for time and effort VOLUNTEERS NEEDED MONKEYPOX STUDY Have you been vaccinated and/or recovered from monkeypox? lji.org/study donors@lji.org (858)-255-0680 to contribute to scientific research
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COMMUNITY vOICes Big Mike & Friends Featuring CJ Jordon P8
F e Beyond Therapy Monogamy, Polyamory Or Something Else? P9
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A Note from Toni: Honoring Outstanding Women P6
paren T ing How Do We Protect Our Children P12 ho UsT on , W e ha Ve a proBL eM New Rules On How To Be A Heartbreaker? P10 arTIsT prOfIle Featuring Kevin Robert Winger P17 Con V ersaT ions WiT h niCoLe A War Has Been Declared P7 T rans TaLk WiTh C onnor Where is all the Good News? P11 C OUrT News Ex-sailor Ordered To Stand Trial In Gay Murder 33 Years Ago P19
San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus Spills The Tea With BRITPOP P16 Vandal Found To Be Mentally Competent P19
It’s time to get your leather on or shine up that latex gear because the Leather Fetish Ball (LFB) is coming our way for its 10th anniversary. We talked with the producer of the event Robert Rodriguez about the 10-year milestone, looking back on the growth of the ball and what we can look forward for this year’s celebration.
10 Years of freedom to be Yourself!
ational Youth HIV & AIDS Awareness Day (NYHAAD) is commemorated annually on April 10th and is a day to educate the public about the impact of HIV and AIDS on young people.
TENNESSEE’S drag baN TEmPoRARILy oN HoLD

Tennessee’s Drag Ban Temporarily on Hold continued from Page 1

Early March, Tennessee passed a statute which makes it “an offense for a person to perform adult cabaret entertainment,” either “on public property” or “in a location where the adult cabaret entertainment could be viewed by a person who is not an adult.”

The “drag ban” is much more than that, though and are purposefully vague.

Peru’s words echoed a growing sentiment that has identified this political juncture, where over 400 anti-trans bills have been introduced across the country, according to the American Civil Liberties Union, as this generation’s galvanizing moment, akin to time periods such as the AIDS epidemic, the passage and then repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and state and federal victories for same-sex partnership recognition.

Tennessee’s new law broadly defines “adult cabaret entertainment” to include “topless dancers, go-go dancers, exotic dancers, strippers, male or female impersonators.” Punishment includes a class A misdemeanor for first offenses and a class E felony for repeat offenses.

The law also states that it preempts ordinances or licenses that were lawfully adopted or issued prior and prohibits local municipalities from adopting ordinances contrary to this new state law.

The day before the bill was to go into effect, Federal Judge Thomas Parker issued a temporary restraining order against enforcement, but only for 14 days. Judge Parker, a Trump Administration appointee, cited the likelihood that the law would be found unconstitutional in using the TRO.

The organization which sought the protective order is Friends of George’s, a Memphis-based LGBTQ theatre company non-profit that produces “drag-centric performances, comedy sketches, and plays,” including one set for April 14.

They argued that the Tennessee statute was a contentbased restriction on speech and should be struck as unconstitutional because it was also vague and overly broad.

Legal Challenge: Standing

Similar to Florida’s defense to legal challenges of their “Don’t Say Gay” bill, Tennessee attempted to argue that the complaining party lacked standing, the ability to participate in a case. Standing is found by demonstrating a sufficient connection to and harm from the challenged law.

In arguing against the injunction, defendants also argued that the plaintiffs had now shown that either the governor nor the attorney general “had taken or might take any enforcement action against” them.

However, Judge Parker recognized that the law, as written, was too vague to provide proper notice of what conduct was restricted. The Judge even stated the bill would require those in Tennessee to “eat the proverbial mushroom to find

out whether it is poisonous.”

Judge Parker noted that the non-profit had a “reasonable fear of prosecution for conducting shows similar to those it has performed in the past.”

Judge Parker recognized the immediate need for relief because the theatre company was selling tickets to a show while trying to figure out if it should “add previously unnecessary age restriction, cancel the show, or risk criminal prosecution or investigation.”

The issues of causation and redressability were “closer” questions because the statute did not task either the governor or attorney general with enforcement. However, Judge Parker weighted more heavily “the risk of chilling speech because of the Statute’s vagueness” over “the enforcement mechanism’s ambiguity,” quoting a Supreme Court case’s logic: “We would not uphold an unconstitutional statute merely because the Government promised to use it responsibly” (United States v. Stevens).

Weighing in favor of the non-profit was the fact that the statute had not gone into effect and granting the TRO would preserve the status quo.

Legal Challenge:

First Amendment

The First Amendment generally prevents states from limiting speech and expressive conduct based on the ideas expressed. In analyzing first amendment issues, the court will look to see if the regulation is content based, either facially or even if neutral will consider legislative history. Additionally, the court must determine if the law is too vague to give proper warning of what conduct is regulated or if it is so overly broad that it regulates more conduct than is necessary.

Content-based restrictions are reviewed under the highest level of review, called strict scrutiny. Under this analysis, the law will only be upheld if it is justified by a compelling government interest and is narrowly tailored to serve that specific interest.

In concluding that the Tennessee statute is likely a content-based restriction, Judge Parker likened the case to the R.A.V. v. City of St. Paul (1992). There, a teenager was charged under a bias-motivated crime municipal ordinance which made illegal the burning of crosses or Nazi swastikas or use of other communication to

“arouses anger, alarm or resentment in others on the basis of race, color, creed, religion or gender.”

The teenager erected and burned a makeshift cross in front of an African American family’s home. The Supreme Court unanimously struck down the ordinance as an unlawful content-based restriction noting, “Let there be no mistake about our belief that burning a cross in someone’s front yard is reprehensible. But St. Paul has sufficient means at its disposal to prevent such behavior without adding the First Amendment to the fire.”

The legislative history was pretty clear: The statute’s sponsor, Tennessee State Representative Chris Todd, filed a lawsuit asking a state court to declare a drag show a public nuisance. The show was part of the festivities planned for Jackson Pride’s third annual Pride in October 2022. The public backlash from the suit resulted in the event being moved from a public park to an indoor facility.

Judge Parker highlighted Defendants’ lack of a clear answer to the Statute’s purpose considering current state obscenity laws that covered most if not all the same conduct.

Concerns for self-censorship and selective enforcement were also mentioned in the order.

In all, Tennessee’s drag ban may be on hold for now, but we must wait and see what will next because the TRO is only in place for 14 days.

In the meantime, we must all remember that while this fight was in Tennessee, it impacts all of us because we are a community connected by the trauma of needing to find ourselves before we can find each other.

Those most vulnerable are our youth, especially our trans and gender non-conforming youth. They face higher rates of homelessness, substance abuse, and suicide attempts. These disparities are often due to discrimination, lack of access to healthcare, and societal stigma. Tennessee’s efforts to add more coals to the fire through criminalization only adds to the societal stigma and discrimination. They know that.

In the face of all this, we must stand up, fight back, and remember that drag and drag queens have always been political. Coco Peru said it in her interview, “change doesn’t happen.” We must go out and make it happen.

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“we would not uphold an unconstitutional statute merely because the government promised to use it responsibly.”
(image by shutterstock.com)

How did the idea for the Leather Fetish Ball originally come about?

Leather Fetish Ball started in 2013 when I was Mr. San Diego Leather 2013

How has the LFB evolved and grown over the years?

LFB started with a small crowd of 150 people at a private venue in North Park. Now after several years we are in one of the most popular night clubs in Hillcrest, RICHS with triple plus the number of guests from all over San Diego, LA, Palm Springs, Long Beach, and surrounding cities in attendance.

Like many events, LFB had to be put on pause during the height of the pandemic. What were your concerns then and how were you able to keep LFB alive even when you could not host the event in person?

Yes, we were on pause during the pandemic, I was concerned that because LFB is a larger scale event now, people were afraid to attend when things opened back up. Even though it was a smaller crowd when we first came back, people are now more excited and willing to come and get their freak on.

The 10th anniversary LFB will be held on 4/15. What kinds of things do you have planned to make this ball special?

We will have a variety of Vendors, GoGo Dancers, Live Entertainment, Live Demos, and of course a lot of dancing to music by some amazing DJs of San Diego.

What advice would you give to people just starting to explore the leather fetish scene?

Come enjoy yourself even if it’s your first time at a leather event. LFB is for everyone! Wear your best leather or fetish gear and just be yourself.

Where can attendees buy their tickets?

Tickets can be purchased at RICHSSD.COM/LEATHER

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from Page 1
Leather Fetish Ball
2023 continued
“people are now more excited and willing to come and get their freak on”
Robert Rodriguez (courtesy images)

The day also highlights the HIV prevention, treatment, and care campaigns of young people in the United States, according to Advocates for Youth, which leads the awareness day efforts.

Apart from promoting sexual health education, the policy goal of the organizers this year is focused on decriminalization because state and federal criminal law does not currently reflect the four decades of medical advances and discoveries made regarding transmission and treatment of HIV/AIDS.

Advocates for Youth asserts that that laws “should not place a unique or additional burden on individuals solely as a result of their HIV status” and that those “living with HIV are still treated differently under the law in so many states and communities.”

They advocate for passage of the REPEAL HIV Discrimination Act. The law, according to their website, should “reflect evidence-based, medically accurate understandings of HIV transmission, health implications, and treatment.” The bill currently has 74 co-sponsors, all Democrats, except for one Republican co-sponsor, Puerto Rico’s Resident Commissioner Jenniffer González-Colón.

The bill would require strong transparency with stakeholders and the public. It would require the attorney general, secretary of health & human services, and the

secretary of defense review current HIV criminalization laws, share information with congress, and make the information publicly available.

REPEAL HIV Discrimination stands for “Repeal Existing Policies that Encourage and Allow Legal” HIV Discrimination. Congressmember Barbara Lee (D-Oakland) is the bill’s original sponsor and has introduced a version of the bill multiple times since 2015.

In the findings of the bill, the following key facts are stated:

• In 28 states, HIV criminal laws are classified as felonies.

• In 32 states and two territories, criminal statutes are based on perceived exposure to HIV, rather than behaviors motivated by an intent to harm.

• In 11 states, HIV-specific laws make spitting or biting a felony, even though you cannot transmit HIV via saliva.

• In 24 states, HIV disclosure to sexual partners is required, even if non-infectious.

• In 25 states, one or more behaviors that pose a low or negligible risk for HIV transmission are criminalized.

Not only are there vastly inconsistent and medically misinformed statutes across the states, but the range of punishments is also strikingly and devasting. Five states impose sentences greater than 20 years; for seven states, it’s between eleven and 20 years; and eighteen states impose sentences of up to ten years per violation; seven impose sentences between eleven and 20 years; and five impose sentences of greater than 20 years.

How these laws impact the lives of people living with HIV is little known, partly because the number of prosecutions, arrests, and instances where HIV-based charges are used to induce plea agreements is unknown. Most State HIV-specific laws and prosecutions do not treat the use of a condom during sexual intercourse or adherence to PrEP as a mitigating factor or evidence that the defendant did not intend to transmit HIV.

Although HIV, and even AIDS, currently is viewed as a treatable, chronic, medical condition, people living with HIV have been charged under aggravated assault, attempted murder, and even bioterrorism statutes because prosecutors, courts, and legislators have failed to update their incorrect views and demonize the blood, semen, and saliva of people living with HIV as a deadly weapon. In fact, individuals who are convicted after an

HIV-based prosecution often must register as sex offenders in at least six States for consensual sexual behavior.

This failure to act is unacceptable in the face of multiple peer-reviewed studies that demonstrate these laws do not reduce risk-taking behavior or increase disclosure by people living with HIV. Worse, there is increasing evidence that they reduce the willingness to get tested.

In many instances, the continued existence and enforcement of these types of laws runs counter to scientific evidence about routes of HIV transmission and may undermine the public health goals of promoting HIV screening and treatment, according to the National HIV Strategy.

In February 2019, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) launched the Ending the HIV Epidemic: A Plan for America, a new initiative with an ambitious goal to end the domestic HIV epidemic in ten years. The stated goals include reducing new HIV cases by 75 percent by 2025 and by 90 percent by 2030.

In this plan, HHS recognizes that stigma is debilitating barrier preventing people living with, or at risk for, HIV from receiving the health care, services, and respect they need and deserve.

Many of the jurisdictions identified as a priority for the first five years of the plan are

in states that have stigmabased criminal statutes for perceived exposure to HIV. These statutes run counter to the goals of this new initiative and stand in the way of ending the domestic HIV epidemic.

A public health announcement: All people are responsible for practicing behaviors that protect themselves from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

So, laws that place the legal responsibility for preventing the transmission of HIV exclusively on people who have been diagnosed clearly undermines this public health message intended to shift risk-taking behavior and increase HIV and STI testing.

A list of San Diego County HIV prevention, treatment and care service providers is available online through the County of San Diego’s website.

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“all people are responsible for practicing behaviors that protect themselves from hIv and other sexually transmitted infections”
youth Call for Ending HIv Criminalization continued from Page 1 (image by shutterstock.com)
5 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13 N ews
Paid for by GLBTQ VOTE SAN DIEGO P.O. Box 33915, San Diego, CA 92163
Founders: John McCusker & Nicole M. Ramirez U.S. Congress Juan Vargas Scott Peters Mike Levin San Diego City Council Joe LaCava - District 1 Marni von Wilpert - District 5 Raul Campillo - District 7

hONOrINg OUTsTaNdINg wOM eN IN MY dIsTrICT

a NOT e frOM TONI

Toni g. atkins

—Toni G. Atkins represents the 39th District in the California Senate. Follow her on Twitter @SenToniAtkins.

Every March in celebration of Women’s History Month, we have a tradition in the Legislature of celebrating women from each Senate and Assembly district who are accomplishing amazing things in their communities. This year, the California Legislative Women’s Caucus celebrated Women Making Herstory with a ceremony at the Capitol on March 20.

My choice for our 39th Senate District Woman Making Herstory is Toluwalasé “Lasé” Ajayi, MD. Dr. Ajayi is a community hospitalist and pediatric palliative medicine physician at Rady Children’s Hospital-San Diego and an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at UC San Diego School of Medicine. She is the ninth woman, and first Black woman, to be elected president in the Medical Society’s 152year history.

In addition to selecting Dr. Ajayi for this recognition, I continued my annual tradition of honoring Women of the 39th District, based on community nominations. For 2023, I selected 23 remarkable women. They are a diverse group of high achievers and community

leaders, representing a wide variety of occupations, vocations, and life experiences. You can read about all of these women under the District tab on my website, sd39. senate.ca.gov

Two New Bills to Expand, Protect Reproductive Access Reproductive rights are under attack at the national level. Recently, a Texas judge heard arguments in a lawsuit that threatens to reverse the Food and Drug Administration Approval of a medication that has been safely used to do medication abortions for more than two decades.

In California, we are doing everything in our power to remain ahead of the curve to make our state a safe haven for both those seeking reproductive services, and those providing reproductive services.

I have introduced two bills this legislative session that focus on training and shielding abortion providers, so that they can continue to provide reproductive services without disruption – Senate Bill 385

and Senate Bill 487.

SB 385 helps expand the network of abortion providers in California by expanding and modernizing training for physician assistants, and allowing them to perform first trimester abortions within the scope of their clinical and professional education and training. By having more providers in our state, we can better ensure that Californians, and those coming here for reproductive health care, can get the services they need.

SB 487 protects health care providers from facing penalties for performing abortion care services and gender-affirming care services on people coming from out of state. SB 487 also protects providers from facing penalties in California if they travel out of state to provide services. Shielding providers in California helps reassure them they can continue to practice here without retaliation.

Tax Deadline Extended for Eligible Californians

To help alleviate some of the hardship caused by the severe winter storms, the Federal Emergency Management Agency issued a disaster decla-

ration for counties that experienced flooding, mudslides and significant property damage in December and January.

All residents of impacted counties, including the County of San Diego, now have until October 16, 2023 to file both federal and state tax returns and make tax payments. The extension is applicable to both individual and business taxes and also applies to quarterly estimated tax payments.

Of course, for everyone eligible for the California Earned Income Tax Credit and the Federal Earned Income Tax Credit, if you are able, the sooner you file the sooner you get money back for your household.

Mark These Days in Your April Calendar

The damage California has endured from these latest storms also is a good reminder that we can’t let up in the fight to reduce and remove the threats caused by climate change. And, as we once again celebrate Earth Day on April 22nd, it’s a good time to redouble our commitment to that fight. Through record funding and innovative bills, the Legislature has been a constant force in ensuring California sets and meets responsible climate goals. That will absolutely stay true in 2023.

Finally, I want to say a special thank you to all of the young people and their allies who will be taking part in GLSEN’s annual Day of Silence on April 14th. The voices of young people are an important force against all the attacks that are being launched against the LGBTQ+ community—and on the 14th, their silence will speak volumes.

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458

PUBLISHER

Terry Sidie

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER

Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619.241.5672

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news

EDITOR IN CHIEF

JP Emerson editor@lgbtqsd.news

COPY EDITOR

Brittany Berger iceberger88@gmail.com

SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news 858.886.9458

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619.807.7324

WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Allan Acevedo Berto Fernández

Big Mike Phillips

Brittany Berger

Chris Ward

Connor Maddocks

Korie Houston

Mara W. Elliott

Michael Kimmel

Neal Putnam

Patric Stillman

Toni G. Atkins

DISTRIBUTION

LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every first Friday of the month. © 2023. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS

LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff.

SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS

Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2023 LGBTQ San Diego County News

Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s advertorial, editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

“This publication was supported in part by funding provided by the State of California, administered by the California State Library.”

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APRI l 2023 volume 4 I
Senate President pro Tempore Toni G. Atkins with Toluwalasé “Lasé” Ajayi, MD (courtesy image)

COMversaTIONs wITh NICOle

—Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I first want to acknowledge with my respect the land on which we stand of the Seminole people.

I bring you greetings from San Diego, California, the home of the largest military complex in the Western Hemisphere. Thus, I wish to pay respect to our veterans and active-duty military that are with us this evening. Would you please stand so we can acknowledge your service to our great nation.

Tonight, I speak to you as a Latino and LGBTQ+ citizen who comes from the times of Joe McCarthy of the 1950s and his national anti-homosexual campaign. I come from the times of the Stonewall Riots in the 1960s and the beginning of the Gay Rights Movement across this nation. I come from the times of Anita Bryant in the 1970s who launched her national “Save Our Children” campaign right here in Florida. I come from a time that with just a stroke of a pen by a judge or your parents, homosexual Americans were sent to mental hospitals, and many were subjected to electric shock treatments and lobotomies, never to return the same. I grew up in a time when I wasn’t only called queer and faggot, but also spick, wetback and greaser.

I say to you and America: “Read my silicone lips: We are never ever going back into the closets.”

My fellow LGBTQ+ Americans, a war has been declared on us by the radical conservative Right Wing of this nation. But they do not know our history or our resolve. We were here long before Christopher Columbus and other invaders of the sacred native land. We were here as two-spirit people that were respected by their native brothers and sisters. We were at Valley Forge with openly homosexual Revolutionary Ward hero Baron von Steuben (and his homosexual lover) whose statue stands across from the White House in Lafayette Park.

We have fought and died in every American war.

a war has beeN deClared on tHe lGbtQ+ CommunItY

And by the way, drag shows have been performed at military bases since the 1800s, especially during World War I and II when even then President Roosevelt praised the efforts of these drag shows which raised millions for the Army Emergency Relief Fund.

But it isn’t only our community under attack with growing hate crimes. And so, LGBTQ+ America says to you: We stand with the Jewish Community. We stand with the African American Community. We stand with Women’s Rights to control their own bodies. We stand with immigrants and Dreamers! We stand with the Latino Community. We stand with the Asian Pacific Islander Community. And hear me loud and clear, we stand for gun control. And we LGBTQ+ Americans in every state say to you this evening: We stand with you Florida and our message to your governor “the new Joe McCarthy”, is that in every state we stand ready to fight and oppose your presidential campaign, every step of the way. But we cannot do this alone. Would your straight/ heterosexual allies, families and friends here please stand so we can acknowledge you and thank you for your support.

In closing, we LGBTQ+ Americans want to say to our brothers and sisters from Russia and Ukraine here with us tonight, we stand with you. And most importantly to those trying to erase our transgender community, we say: when you attack the “T” in LGBTQ+, and our youth, you attack all of us.

Lastly, in the 1970s when Anita Bryant launched her anti-homosexual campaign, we of the Imperial Courts were one of the first to hold benefits for the Dade County Coalition. And today, we are pleased to announce that the Imperial Court of Florida and the International Imperial Court System will be distributing over $1,000 worth of checks to Equality Florida and the ACLU Florida this week.

I say to you we will win this radical right war against us because “History indeed is on our side.”

Yes, we will win! Si se puede! Yes, we can!

From the bottom of this old queen’s heart: Thank you and God bless you all.

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COMMUNITY vOIC es
The following is the acceptance speech given by City Commissioner Nicole Murray ramirez after being honored with the harvey Milk Medal award at the 2023 International d iversity honors in hollywood, florida on april 1, 2023
Florida State Senator Shevrin Jones, Nicole Murray Ramirez and City of Fort Lauderdale Mayor Dean Trantalis (courtesy images)

bIg MIke & frIeNds

big Mike phillips

—Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-807-7324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

Iam excited to introduce our readers to amazing and caring people who live, work, play, and do business in our community and city. Learning about people of all lifestyles, talents, and personalities who I think would be interesting for our readers to enjoy. San Diego has a wonderful diversity of individuals who make our slice of paradise the greatest place to live and enjoy each other’s uniqueness.

I was very fortunate to bartend in the LGBTQ+ community here in San Diego for over thirty years, and in the process, I was able to meet so many amazing people who I proudly call my friends. One such amazing woman I met while I bartended at Bourbon Street so many years ago was CJ Jordon. We became fast friends. CJ was THE Principal at Laurel G. Rodriquez Elementary, San Diego Unified School District, where she nominated me to be a Principal for a Day at her school in 2008. OMG what an amazing honor and opportunity to be surrounded by so much love and curiosity from these beautiful children. Truly one of my high lights in my life. As an educator she is so full of compassion, patience, and willingness to teach these kids to grow up to be the best they can be. It is my privilege to introduce you to my all-time favorite Principal CJ Jordon.

How did you end up in San Diego and what do you love about it?

I am born and raised in San Diego, a true native and never moved away. I am grounded here by my family and dear friends. I just love this city. I describe it as a big little town. The people are cool, diverse, and eclectic. When I travel, it’s just beautiful to fly back to our paradise.

Tell us about yourself.

I have been a school administrator for the last 23 years but have been in education for over 35 years. I am entering the next phase of my life, which is retirement. I am single and no kids but again I have been around children as a career for a long time. Excited about that next adventure

post education. I am a Latinx woman, youngest of 3 and enjoy lots of socializing outside of work. I believe in finding that work home balance for your mental wellbeing. I love the craft beer industry and enjoy a good IPA.

In your professional life

what makes your work stand out and how has it changed your life?

Our District has evolved, strongly shifted, and embraces the LGBTQIA community and students. There are shifts in departments created to

support to our Gay students, families, and staff. We are the second largest District in California. My career has taught me patience, seeing change, taking risks, and trying to support those who feel the least supported.

Where do you see yourself in five years with the goals you have, to live your best life ever?

Enjoying new hobbies, getting healthier, traveling. I want to learn to play the guitar and also get back into my art background. I come

later life, I love being called CJ. It keeps it simple. Who inspires you in life to do your very best and why?

My mom has been a very hard worker, till this day. She is one of 7 sisters, and they were all working Latin women all their lives. They were inspiring growing up. My big sister is a bad ass, love her! I have so many dear friends that are super grounded, goal oriented, compassionate, and just amazing human spirits. I try to surround myself with those types of Spirit animals.

When asked, what’s the one question you always answer with a lie, and what is your most embarrassing moment?

Oh goodness! Big Mike, you are asking some tough questions. The lie is, well, what some say about how they are feeling. When asked, how are you? We give the easy way out sometimes, the “ok”. We need to be more accurate because it also helps each other if a day isn’t going well or getting some emotions out. The lie is we are not honest enough. I don’t mean blunt but honest about gauging where you are. As for the embarrassing, thank goodness there wasn’t social media in my 20’s because my partying years were fun and embarrassing. My dear friends can tell you those stories. Nobody needs to know my stories from 30 years ago...ha-ha.

If you could give someone advice about your art, hobby, or business, what would you tell them?

Search for your passion, or passions, in what you love. Find the people around you that will help you with it or work with you on it. Stay focused and humble. Mistakes are great learning tools for you. Lastly, try to read people better. The emotional vampires out there bring you down and it’s too much drama for your soul and heart. Surround yourself with the lovers of life, adventure, and curiosity.

Do you enjoy cooking?

If so, what is your favorite food to eat? If not, what is your favorite food and your favorite restaurant to eat from?

from 5 generations of artists and the career took up some creative time. Need to tap into that again.

Do you have any nicknames?

I had lots of nicknames. In many Latin families, they can be flattering or embarrassing. Guera, Guerita, Clave (loved to use tools), but my favorite is I am known as Yaya to my family. My Abuelo nicknamed me, and I cherish it very much. He is no longer with us, but I feel his presence every day in my backyard garden area. In my

I have a few things I love to cook. Paella and ceviche. Lately I am into Asian flavors, Thai food, noodles, lumpias and sushi. Don’t get me wrong, Mexican is still my go to. Unos tacos de Al Pastor!

Gratitude is so important in each of our lives, what are you most grateful for, and how do you pay it forward?

Grateful for those who are on my side and make me laugh so much. Laughter is so key in a world all wound up. Whenever I can, I support the closest with their needs and do some random acts of kindness as much as I can. Help someone today, so they can help someone tomorrow.

8 lgbtqsd.news ssue 13 COMMUNITY vOIC es
APRI l 2023 volume 4 I
Photo by Rikke Photography
CJ Jordon (courtesy images)
“search for your passion, or passions, in what you love. find the people around you that will help you with it or work with you on it.”
CJ JOrdON

lIfe beYON d TherapY

—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

In the LGBTQ community, our relationships don’t always mirror heteronormative ones. I discovered this over twenty years’ ago when I began working as a psychotherapist to San Diego’s LGBTQ community. In fact, the longer I worked here as a psychotherapist, I began to notice that many of my clients were not in monogamous relationships. About fifteen years’ ago, at my clients’ requests, I started offering workshops at The Center on the topic: “Monogamy or Open Relationship?”

These workshops were packed.

Why? Because no one else was talking about this stuff and yet LGBTQ women and men were having all kinds of polyamorous relationships (often fraught with some embarrassment and shame).

Polyamorous relationships were such a hot topic that I even got a book deal to write about it. Six years’ ago, when I wrote my book, “The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Relationships” (the publishers insisted on aiming it exclusively at gay men), I focused mostly on monogamous and open (non-monogamous) male-to-male relationships, Today, I’d like to dive deeper into the many options to monogamy that we have as LGBTQ men and women.

If you’ve never thought about alternatives to monogamy and having multiple romantic relationships, this might seem like a strange topic for you. If so, begin by thinking about your friendships. Our relationships with our friends are usually loving and affectionate, but they aren’t exclusive. We have plenty of love to give. Each friendship is unique, with its own intensity, shared activities and (mutual) emotional commitment. Expand that concept from friendship to romantic/ sexual relationships, and you begin to get the idea of how polyamory can work.

Here’s a brief overview of some terminology:

Non-monogamy is an umbrella term that means dating or having sex with more than one person, e.g., polyamory and open relationships. An open relationship can refer to several different relationship arrangements in which someone dates or has sex with people outside of their primary partnership.

Polyamory is a about loving/ having sex with more than one person at a time. Polyamory can take a near-infinite number of forms. There are throuples (three people who date each other together); solo polyamorists (who may have many lovers without having a primary partner); and a V, (one person dates two people who do not date each other). There are also other relationship styles that are more individual-focused, like solo polyamory: viewing yourself as your own primary partner, challenging the idea that needing a partner is the “right” thing to want. Relationship anarchy goes even further: going beyond the idea of romantic love as the ultimate goal of a loving, passionate and erotic life. It invites you to rearrange society’s priorities, giving you a whole lotta room to decide what matters most to you, and to change and adjust it – over time - as you desire.

If

tions we have. We don’t have to do it like straight people have always done it: we can be more creative and experiment with different kinds of rela-

tionships to see what most fulfills us.

Over the years, I’ve enjoyed supporting my clients in their explorations of monogamy, polyamory and other options to structuring relationships. If you’re interested in exploring polyamory for yourself, here are some suggestions:

• Stay curious about yourself and your erotic/sexual/ emotional desires.

• Approach polyamory with an open mind: try to let go of what your parents told you about how relationships “should” be.

• Stop apologizing for what you want. Instead, hold yourself accountable and be healthily assertive.

• Educate yourself (through content creators and other on-line/real world resources) about polyamory and its many variations. Learn about it from different sources/points of view.

• Be willing to be more courageous and curious about how you love and express yourself sexually.

• Honor yourself and others with relationships that feel right for you.

Ultimately, it’s absolutely fine to choose monogamy and equally okay to explore alternatives. Give yourself the freedom to experiment with different forms of relationships and discover what works best for you: monogamy, polyamory or something else!

9 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13
COMMUNITY vOIC es
MONO gaMY, pOlYaMOrY Or sOMeThINg else? Visit thecentersd.org/DOFL for the full list of participating locations. THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 2023 GIVE BACK
miss The Center’s 17th Annual Dining Out For Life® San Diego! On Thursday, April 27, 2023,
generous restaurants
to The Center’s
Health and Wellness Program,
Don’t
San Diego’s most
and bars will donate 25% or more of their sales
Sexual
including HIV services and prevention efforts.
(image by shutterstock.com)
“give yourself the freedom to experiment with different forms of relationships”
you’re thinking, “This is all pretty confusing, what’s the point?”, you’re not alone. To me, the purpose of all these terms is to show us all the op-

hOUsTON, we have a prObleM

korie houston

— Korie has almost a decade of experience working within the LGBTQIA+ community. Holding various positions within Social Justice advocacy in higher education and journalism in queer publications. He currently works at the University of California, San Diego providing support and championing causes for marginalized communities on campus.

Houston, we have a problem. I’ve been talking in my sleep at night making myself crazy. I’m navigating the line between friend or lover. We learn so much from pop culture and all forms of media about how dating is such a minefield between apps, casual conversations in bars and having meet-cutes at your local coffee shops. As idealistic as this all sounds it feels like there are so many rules attached to each of these interactions. I was once told rule number one is that you’ve got to have fun, but baby when you’re done you’ve got to be the first to run. Joking aside, shows like Sex and the City debated these topics and I’ve heard loud and clear, “Don’t seem too eager”, “Don’t text too much after the first date”, “Don’t f*ck on the first date.” Or do, honestly, it’s your preference. It all feels so arbitrary and antiquated yet I keep finding myself going through the same pitfalls wondering where I stand with a potential crush or just finding someone attractive. Honestly, it’s exhausting. But how and when do the rules apply?

I’m not going to sit here and say just a few years ago it was easier to find your match because it wasn’t. I’ve asked countless people spanning all walks of life what was dating like pre apps and it’s a mixed bag of similarities. Are we lucky that everything and everyone is more accessible?

I’m really not sure about that. Striking up a conversation on the cesspool that is Grindr feels empty. “Hey how are you?” Turns to “Nudes?” and finally “Let’s f*ck.” You’ll inevitably be #Blocked. That’s a love story in three sentences. Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by someone on a dating app. Let’s be honest, whether we swipe for our friends, get on Tinder for a free meal or flaked on a date at the very last second a lot of us are guilty of something.

I love making new connections, but the cost is sometimes feeling as if people want to be my friend more than they want something serious and I start thinking… “Should I text him?”, “Is he interested?” “Why would he pick something to do that feels so date-like?”

MIssION C ONTrOl:

new rules on How to be a Heartbreaker?

These questions plague me constantly and the reality is these thoughts shouldn’t dictate my ability to be direct with someone I’m interested in. Needless to say, there’s nothing wrong with cultivating new friendships but let’s be real, I want more. So, what happens when you feel maybe you’ve done all the right things, and it still turns a little messy? Story time.

I was recently ghosted by someone, we’ll call him DiGornio. If you’re a little perplexed by the nickname, the company slogan is “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGornio.” Extra context, he’s a handsome man who works at a pizza place, but the rest is a secret I’ll never tell. The reality is he’s not delivering anything but confusion. “It’s not delivery, he’s just a dick.” in every sense of that sentence. We texted frequently for a few weeks and eventually we met up for… well I’m sure you can all guess (sorry mom and dad). Anyways, strings of followup texts and cancelled plans later came the silence. Do I call ghost busters? Is the call coming from inside the house? Contrary to what people may believe, ghosting is a response and a very clear one at that, but it’s still bewildering when

you’re on the receiving end. It doesn’t feel great when one day they’re there and the next they aren’t. With these conflicting emotions on what could so have done differently, I decided to do what any sane and rational person would. I called upon my friends to set me on the right path or at least tell me what they perceive the rules are.

Mission Control to Ground

Zero, my heart is floating out in the cold depths of space that we call dating. SOS? For those of you who are new here, I’m your beloved Korie Bradshaw & my friends Luis, Brian, Anthony and Bria are here to round out my views on love, sex and relationships. I ask once more what are the rules of dating? In this case what rules do I need to set for myself when I’m putting my heart on the line?

Luis, my Samantha…got me wondering why do I care so much? F*ck or be f*cked and move on. After all is said and done life is too short to worry about these men. Albeit he had his own problems to navigate with a clingy gentleman caller and continuing to set intentions with people that he’s not looking for something so serious. Within our discussion

experience resonate with anyone else?

Anthony, my pearl clutching Charlotte, still the ever hopeless romantic but he’s not above a good make out session on the first date. Even when he’s ready to deviate against his rules he somehow manages to find a reason to go back to it. One night at the club he had a scenario with a man we’ll call the witch. Why? His hat was giving American Horror Story: Coven. Ryan Murphy couldn’t be more proud. Anthony decided to make out with this man for what seemed like eons and all he got out of it was strep throat. I received several text messages after that night out saying that a curse was put upon him. I didn’t learn anything from this scenario but I’m sure Anthony did.

Lastly, we can’t forget Bria, the closest equivalent in my life to Stanford. Bria is someone who always keeps me humble, and lord knows I need it. She’s genuine, down to earth and can bring humor to a situation along with a sense of realism. She recently found a new boo thing and she seems happier than I’ve seen her in a long time. The beauty of our friendship is the highs, the lows, the ghosting and the roasting are all experienced in a way that is so natural for us to share with one another she reminds me of the humanity in everything. Even if you followed the “rules” and your situation turns from a blossoming connection to a doomed one in the blink of an eye, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure, at least that’s what I’ve been allegedly told. A direct quote from her is “If something is meant for you, then why does it feel so forced?” She’s not wrong, and this applies to all the people that have come and gone from our lives.

we concluded that while living life in his own parameters the golden rule is to be honest about what you want, we’re not here to waste each other’s time. I won’t name his cling-on, but I can tell you that sometimes even those who seem so assured of what they want actually don’t care about how they navigate the road there. I couldn’t agree more but can we tell that to DiGiornio?

Brian, the Miranda in my life, says the rules aren’t so simple. His main one he’s created for himself is, believing who someone is when they show you the worst versions of themself. As someone who is sometimes willing to give too many chances, the points of no return sometimes hit harder than ever and he finds himself asking the question, “What was the point?” Is it wrong to believe the best in others? Brian recently had a brief man friend we’ll call.

Cadet Kelly. (Please watch the Disney channel original movie starring Hilary Duff for reference of what this man does for a living). Anyways, Brian and our Cadet weren’t a match. For the cadet it went from “I haven’t had anything serious in a while”, to going ghost in a matter of weeks. Does that

To DiGornio I say, thank you for the sex, in that sense you definitely delivered. But where’s that pizza you promised at my doorstep? For everything else there’s a lesson to be learned. I willingly give up my time and energy to men who are undeserving and simply put I can do better. I’m equally the problem in learning how to manage my expectations of a potential partner. No one owes you anything in life, but it would be growth across all levels if people were just honest more often. No one is one hundred percent genuine in every aspect of life and I’ve made my share of mistakes. When it comes to dating though, my own rule is to just be authentic.

From all our stories, even Anthony’s spellbinding night with the witch, we need to tell ourselves the truth even if it’s hard to hear. As far as these “rules” go maybe Marina and Dua Lipa are correct in their assessments, but we’re all capable of so much more. Don’t be afraid to be too much, to make a move, and lastly don’t let everyone else’s experiences dictate how you move forward. So, what rules do you create for your own dating journeys?

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APRI l 2023 volume 4 I
“don’t seem too eager, don’t text too much after the first date”
(photo by Ashley Kaplan @kaplan.photography)
new

TIred Of The bad News?

TraNs Talk wITh CONNOr Connor Maddocks

—Connor Maddocks has been a civil rights advocate in the San Diego Transgender community for years. He does trainings on legal and personal transition information. He continues his work, even though he is now retired. Contact Conner at Neon411@gmail.com.

Every day we hear more and more hateful, hurtful, and downright dangerous legislation and hate from around our country. I live in San Diego, California with some of the most positive and Trans-friendly legislation in the United States. Yet I and those I talk to are a little bit scared, we worry. Could this hate become a reality here? I don’t foresee it in the near future, probably not in my lifetime, but I am a true believer in Never Say Never.

So, I thought to myself, there must be some good news out there, there must be positive, uplifting Trans news somewhere. So, I went out in search of it. In keeping with the “it isn’t all bad out their” vibe, here is what I found.

Let’s start at the top, the U.S. Government, on March 30, 2023, the eve of the National Trans Day of Visibility, Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal (WA-07) Co-Chair of the Transgender Equality Task Force, and Senator Edward J Markey (D-MA), along with representatives Sarah Jacobs (CA-51) our San Diego representative, Mark Pcan (WI-02), Mark Takano (CA-39), and David Cicilline (RI-01) have re-introduced a bill in both the Congress and the Senate which if passed will make history for our Trans/Non-Binary communities in the U.S.

The bill is called the Transgender Bill of Rights and was first introduced into the legislature last year by Jayapal and Markey, and they have said they will reintroduce it every year on that date until it passes.

The resolution has no real bite to it and is simply symbolic but keeping the needed protections the Federal Government should be implementing in the limelight may at some point generate actual legislation for us.

Some of the points of the Resolution include amending the Civil Rights Act of 1964 by explicitly citing gender identity and sexual characteristics are protected. Protections for students and student athletes to support and affirm their gender identities. Employment protections as well as housing and healthcare rights and protections.

Thank you, Congresswoman Jayapal and Senator Markey,

for keeping our collective voices in our national legislature.

Continuing with the Federal Government thanks to President Joe Biden, you can now select X as your gender marker on your passport book. There are no longer any requirements to bring any proof of gender either medically or legally.

In late 2023 on the passport card, Consular Reports of Birth Abroad, expedited passport requests will be available. Thank you, President Biden, and the U.S. Department of State.

Next up is our favorite airport team, the TSA. Joking of course but the agency is working on being more and more Trans/Non-binary friendly.

In 2022 they have made some recent changes to their policies. First up is the gender marker. TSA agents will be informed of the X gender marker on passports and state identifications. They have updated the imaging body scanners to be more inclusive by changing the software so it will set off less alarms, which happens way too much for our community. They are working with airlines to update passenger booking processes to include the Non-binary gender marker on airline tickets. Hopefully traveling while Trans will be a little less stressful in the coming years. GO Team TSA!

Finally, from our government, you can now self-identify your gender to Social Security. When you apply for a new card, say if you change your name, you need to bring the court order for the name change with you, but then you can tell them the gender marker you want without having to produce a legal or medical affirmation.

WTG Social Security!

In other news right here in San Diego, we now for the first time ever have a complete Gender Affirming Health Care Clinic who provides everything from primary care, hormones to all Trans/Non-binary, and surgical options for those 18 and older. UCSD’s new Gender Health Program is fully up and running. The new Program Coordinator Rai Khamisa LCSW, is on the job. They can get you started and point you in the right direction no matter what services you are looking for.

UCSD has brought together a great team of doctors and surgeons who are fully trained to work with each individual person to make their transition personalized and seamless.

Can you tell I am very excited by this?

For years most of us here in San Diego who opted for some kind of surgical procedure had to travel somewhere else. Most went to the Mecca of Trans surgery, San Francisco, and they still have many of the

very best doctors in the U.S., probably even in the world. Traveling for surgery is costly and having to be away from home for sometimes a month or more is prohibitive for many. Even though insurance companies now cover the medical costs, not all of them will cover transportation, food, and lodging. If you have been there, you know how expensive San Francisco is! So, an alternative right here in San Diego is such a wonderful thing. We know people heal faster and better when they are home and surrounded by supportive family and friends. I want to give a shout out to Dr. Jill Blumenthal for all her hard work over many years fighting to bring better healthcare for us at UC San Diego.

For Trans Youth Rady Children’s Hospital’s GEM Clinic offers many of the same services for youth, utilizing many of the same UCSD doctors and surgeons from the Gender Health Program.

In 2021 the PBS NewsHour/ NPR/Marist poll showed that two-thirds of Americans OPPOSE any type of anti-Transgender legislation! That’s two-thirds!!! So, it’s obvious the Republicans, no surprise here, do not actually talk to their constituents or listen when they do. All this vile hate legislation and the push by the Republican lawmakers to incite their citizens to bring this hate into their own smaller communities is really a very small minority. This is what we must hang onto. This is what we can hope for in the future, that these lawmakers will be ousted, and more intelligent and unbiased lawmakers will replace them. The good news is two-thirds, let’s always remember not to pass up opportunities where we can open another heart and mind, until the day we can just live our lives in peace and joy.

Sources: Pramila Jayapal Congressional Web page https://jayapal.house.gov/2023/03/30/ jayapal-markey-introduce-landmarktrans-bill-of-rights%EF%BF%BC/

Them https://www.them.us/story/trans-bill-ofrights-congress

US Dept. of State Passport Office https://travel.state.gov/content/ travel/en/passports/need-passport/ selecting-your-gender-marker.

html#:~:text=It%20means%20you%20 can%20select,another%20gender%20 identity%20(X)

NewsWeek

https://www.newsweek.com/tsa-changing-system-that-flags-transgender-people-threats-gender-x-1693743

PBS https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/ new-poll-shows-americans-overwhelmingly-oppose-anti-transgender-laws

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(image by shutterstock.com)
wHere Is all tHe Good news for us anYwaYs?

QUeer pareNTINg

brittany b erger

— Brittany Berger (she/her) is a mother of four and an ally to her three Queer adolescent children. Five years of midwifery education has given her the gift of exploring her biases and learning about social justice, activism, and being an ally. Contact Brittany @ iceberger88@gmail.com

This last weekend we joined my husband’s side of the family for a reunion. Nearly 30 of us took over a cul-de-sac of vacation homes and cabins on the Oregon Coast. My children got to see their cousins and reunite friendships, but this time there was a big elephant in the room. That elephant was anticipated but we weren’t sure how it was going to go. My Trans son was going to have to endure three nights and four days with family who we weren’t sure would be accepting or willing to use his correct pronouns and chosen name. I feared how my son was going to handle being dead-named and misgendered.

The weeks leading up to this reunion I waffled about going and if we should avoid family who was misinformed and very opinionated about the state of the country regarding the recent political upswing of anti-Trans legislation. Some of my beloved in-laws are very conservative. What was the best thing to do for our son? Not going would surely only isolate him more in some respects, but going would definitely lead to feelings, discussions, and the need to prepare for crucial conversations.

The first thing I did was have a hard conversation with my son. I wanted to know what he wanted to do and what his concerns were. I’m sure this would be different for every Trans person, but the reality is we had to make a choice. We had to decide if we were ready to request that these less accepting people use the right pronouns and avoid dead-naming our child or risk losing contact with them; that’s a big reality check as we feared that some of the family would not comply and would do so anyways and ignore any requests or bits of education we would provide.

The last thing we wanted to do was to put my child in the spotlight or have him be the center of family drama. However, my son wanted to go, and he felt ready and comfortable with where he is at to be his authentic self with family. So, my husband, our other three children, and myself agreed that we would, in solidarity, use the correct name and pro-

The TraNs ChIld elephaNT IN The rOOM

How do we proteCt our CHIldren wItHout CoddlInG tHem or IsolatInG tHem?

ence. Interestingly, we didn’t have to do any educating, but other family members did that for us at appropriate times. We had no idea we had Allies in our conservative side of the family. Part of the acceptance was that over the last two years we have had a chance to answer some peoples’ “whys” and “hows” and make our supportive stance known, but we had to get through that hurdle to get to this point.

This experience has made me very curious how these situations go for others. I invite our readers to reach out and tell me how this experience was for them as a Trans person or parent of Trans child. What would you have done differently in our situation? What advice do you have for others going through this?

nouns and gently correct those who did not, but to not make a big deal out of it.

This is not the approach that I would suggest is the best way for everybody, but we happen to have enough family who was knowledgeable enough that would likely join us in nonchalantly being consistent, and that is exactly what they did. Maybe it was the accepting nature of the alcohol buzz going around, but by the end

of the weekend there was just less and less correction and more and more people just using the right name. Sometimes people would slip up, but they learned to correct themselves and move on.

Even the one person I was the most concerned about eventually loosened up and began to go with the flow after the first couple days. At first this person kept their kids away and kept a distance but

that was the beauty of having kids; the kids wanted to play and hang out like teenagers do, and so this person had to also give their child space to bond with their cousin and just be kids! In fact, this one person would have actually been more isolated than we were if they hadn’t come around too. We were pleasantly surprised this weekend and my son had a very positive experi-

This is such an important time for our families to prepare to build Allies and acceptance as so much of the country tries to dismantle the hard work of our LGBTQ+ elders. How do we plant the seeds of communication with those who are less accepting of our Trans children and how do we protect our children without coddling or isolating them further?

You can email me at iceberger88@gmail.com

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DECISIoNS THAT I REGRET

ACRoSS

1 debussy work, with “de lune”

6 Opera figure

10 library Id

14 Civic-minded company?

15 What little things mean, in a Cher song

16 Georgia spread on the screen

17 room at the top

18 farmer’s tool

19 like a muscle mary who works out

20 what 40-across did with “decisions that I regret”

23 Sodom suffix

24 Animated dog

25 emulate Clay aiken

26 do a microwave task

28 actor mcCormack

30 blast from a bell

32 senate house, to Caesar

33 live wire

35 more of the quote

37 Like sex with a condom

39 Jackie’s designer

40 Queen of “the equalizer”

43 road reversals

47 area for round balls

48 Come and go

50 fuel in Jamie o’neill’s country

51 novelist de balzac

DoWN

1 sat on, as the boss

2 event for drawers

3 Composer dvorak

4 Prefix that means “queer”

5 they hold balls in pool halls

6 moon over the niles?

7 like lGbt employment

8 “Va-va-va-___!”

Solutions on page 19

13 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13 pU zzle
66
heady
of
job
53 Get better 55 Crime lab stuff 56 Offspring of a queen 57 end of the quote 60 famous Queens park 62 Japanese attack word 63 zipper piece 64 Mick Jagger has a pair of them 65 Overwhelming defeat
make
67 Tongue
Wilde’s land 68 Composer thomas 69 Did Rex Reed’s
discrimination
11
nemesis in
12 land of princess di 13 bitch’s collar attachment 21 Start of a WNBA game 22 Confidential matter 27 Full of angst 29 street associated with Harvey milk 31 rimbaud portrayer diCaprio, to pals 34 ___ de ballet 36 Cole porter, et al., to Yale 38 Organ pleasured by Britten 40 more nuts 41 Uncles in drag? 42 Billy Bean’s four-bagger 44 John Grey, in “outlander,” e.g. 45 broadway title woman of 1925 46 Hid away 47 use plastic at barneys 49 Make fizzy 52 Actor who gets no credit 54 try to put a restraint on 58 “alas! ___ Yorick” 59 Vincent Lopez theme song 61 u-turn from nnw
puzzle
9 like rival divas 10 “___ de-lovely”
tom Hulce’s
“amadeus”
Q
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plaCes, peOple. plaCes! berto fernández

— Berto Fernandez is a Puerto Rican actor, singer, and artist currently performing in Theatre productions all over Southern California. He holds a BA in Communications, and is a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Iwas probably around 8 years old at the time back home in Puerto Rico. I liked school. It was fun to be around other kids and learn new things. By that time, I was already fond of art, since my grandmother was a pretty well-known politically charged oil painter in the island, and my parents took me to an art class for kids on Saturday mornings. I had also played the part of a “jibarito” (a native farmer) in a kindergarten dance presentation, but other than that, I hadn’t really been exposed to Theatre.

Our class teacher let us know that next Friday we were going to the Teatro Tapia in Old San Juan to see the children’s musical Rock’O’Landia. On that day, we took a big school bus to the theater, got there, and lined up in single file to get into the building. It was so beautiful. The red cushioned seats all in rows, the ornate designs of the proscenium and balcony. The drama of it all!

We take our seats, they dim the lights, we all scream of course, and the giant main curtain magically rises, revealing a massive tree with shiny golden apples. As I type these words, I can still vividly see in my mind the glittery texture of the apples, as well as the fairytale characters that sang and danced all over that wooden stage. It was like a live action cartoon episode, but way better. There were 7 nongender specific rock singing goats and a princess belting a pop ballad, I even remember the catchy melodies and lyrics. Then their version of the Big Bad Wolf popped up on stage. He was extremely campy, face painted, strutting around like a mix of David Bowie and Mick Jagger, but Puerto Rican. If this is what Theatre was, then sign me up. I was completely enthralled by what was happening in front of me, we all were. We laughed, tried to sing along, clapped, screamed some more, and above all, we had fun. When I got home, I asked my mom to get me the album (yup, in vinyl) so I could learn all the songs. They all had a positive message of self-love, teamwork, kindness towards others, and an invitation to be your true self. I consider this to be the event that sparked my interest in having a career in the Arts.

TheaTre Is drag. drag Is TheaTre.

young age to maintain their higher pitched vocals and sing these difficult pieces. A lot of their performances were linked to the Vatican church, who used them to perform in choral works and early Italian Opera.

Victorian Era

Arguably the birth of intentional Drag in Theatre for the purpose of storytelling rooted in gender. It is believed that the term Drag originated during this time, because men would literally drag elaborate long costumes when strutting across the stage.

British Panto

The European movements, like Commedia dell’arte, influenced Panto greatly in the development of gender bending characters who create tension and comedy in their narrative. All completely socially acceptable and welcomed at the time. Acclaimed works followed, like Peter Pan, that typically featured a cis gender woman in the title role.

The 20th Century

This Vaudevillian times sparked the interest of Americans in Theatre, and with it came over the top comedy, elaborate costumes, magical props, burlesque performers, and yes, you guessed it, Drag. Especially post-World War II, the merging of film and stage was undeniable, a cultural phenomenon that introduced gender crossing pieces like Pacific Overtures, that explored the Japanese art of Kabuki, Victor Victoria, Cabaret, and classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Modern Times

Theatre has been an essential part of human culture since Greek times, possibly earlier. People seek an escape from their everyday lives, be it our jobs, our emotional state, other people in our lives, ourselves. We can go see a play, and transport our minds to another realm and reality, resulting in a healing experience human beings need and crave. Drag is unquestionably a form of Theatre that should be celebrated and respected as such. Theatre is Drag. Drag is Theatre.

Recently, our country has been exposed as sorely polarized regarding the topic of Drag and its impact on children and the general public. Nationwide threats and attacks to the Queer and Trans communities have been on the rise, jeopardizing our safety and mere existence. The word grooming has been thrown around in connection to Drag story time and live presentations, which made me immediately search for the definition of the word in order to grasp what they are talking about. “Grooming is when

someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit, and abuse them. Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited, or trafficked. Anybody can be a groomer, no matter their age, gender, or race.”

Drag and theatrical artists are not intending to brainwash children into wearing makeup or putting on a pair of heels. We are simply encouraging the new generation of kids to have the freedom to explore their identity through emotions, with no boundaries or restrictions. Arts and culture enrich human lives by celebrating individuality, self-expression, and social connections.

We have all seen the viral memes pointing out how Americans have been thoroughly entertained by Drag in TV and film, but now it’s a problem. The stage has also served as a vessel for Queer, Trans, and Drag stories to reach audiences all over the world. These important works define a generation and must continue to exist. I have compiled a list

of some iconic Queer moments, shows, and narratives in Theatre that have moved and shaped generations of Dramatic Arts lovers.

Shakespeare

It is well documented that during Elizabethan times, the Theatrical texts were only to be performed by men, leaving male presenting actors of the time to perform plays, like most of Shakespeare’s, in Drag. These men (usually adolescents because of their less developed features deeming them more convincing as females) were revered for their work on stage.

Countertenors and castrati

Opera is another genre that is no stranger to Drag and gender bending in their productions. Countertenors are cis gender males who have the ability to sing in a high Soprano range, typically achieved by cis females. Composers like Handel and Monteverdi, have an extensive catalog featuring countertenor features. To the other extreme, castrati, or men who have been neutered at a

The Queer community is a vital part of this rich and complex art. Film director John Waters revolutionized the industry with bigger than life films featuring famous Drag queen Divine, in movies like Hairspray, which eventually made its way to the Broadway stage. Gay themed La Cage Aux Folles mesmerized audiences and critics, winning 6 Tonys including Best Musical. A plethora of contemporary shows include Queer and Drag characters in their plot, bringing our stories to the light. Some of these shows, which would be illegal to perform in several states if this ban comes into effect, are Rent, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Billy Elliot, Kinky Boots, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Head Over Heels, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jamie, just to name a few.

It is necessary for the new generation to experience Theatre in all its glory. The beautiful, the uncomfortable, the politically drenched, the visually captivating, the camp, the historical drama, the Drag. I truly believe that part of what shaped me as an actor and a contributing member of society is rooted in my early life experiences with Theatre. Letting my imagination run free, believing that perhaps in the future I could be up there picking golden apples off a majestic tree, while spreading a message of love, acceptance, inclusion, and kindness.

lgbtqsd.news ssue 13 T heaT er
APRI l 2023 volume 4 I
tHe Queer CommunItY Is a VItal part of tHIs rICH and Complex art
Victorian Era
British Panto Peter Pan La Cage Aux Folles Billy Porter in Kinky Boots

THE BODYGUARD: A NEW MUSICAL

Book by Alexander Dinelaris

Music and Lyrics from Whitney Houston’s hit film The Bodyguard

Directed by Larry Raben Welk Theatre, Escondido

April 15 – June 11, 2023

https://tickets.thewelksandiego.com/ eventperformances.asp?evt=38

Based on the 1992 hit film The Bodyguard, this new musical adaptation tells the story of Rachel Marron, one of the most famous singers in the World, and her struggle with fame, family, and love. Featuring music by the late great Whitney Houston, the stage version surely will captivate audiences of all ages.

PRESENT LAUGHTER

By Noël Coward

Directed by Rosina Reynolds

Cygnet Theatre

Mar 29 - Apr 29, 2023

https://www.cygnettheatre.com/season/ 2022-2023-season/present-laughter/

Noël Coward’s critically acclaimed over the top satirical comedy Present Laughter will be presented by Cygnet Theatre. The autobiographical play follows Garry Essendine, star of London’s Theatre world, and his obsessive fans and love interests. This hilarious comedy will feature some of San Diego’s brightest talent and is not to be missed.

EXOTIC DEADLY: OR THE MSG PLAY

World premiere!

By Keiko Green

Directed by Jesca Prudencio

The Old Globe Theatre

Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre

Conrad Prebys Theatre Center

April 8 – May 7, 2023

https://www.theoldglobe.org/pdp/23-season/exotic-deadly-or-themsg-play/#?startDate=2023-04-01&%3FendDate=2023-04-30

This trippy comedy by Keiko Green features Ami, a high schooler during the late 90’s who discovers that her family has been manufacturing the wildly popular drug MSG. The whimsical World premiere piece, to be directed by Jesca Prudencio, will no doubt entertain audiences looking for a unique theatrical experience.

ROCK OF AGES by Chris

Wildsong Productions

OB Playhouse

March 24 – April 23, 2023

https://wildsongproductions.showit.site/tickets

This totally awesome jukebox musical set in the 80’s, follows Drew, a wannabe rock singer, and his dreams of stardom, love, and total badassery. Featuring music by Journey, Styx, Bon Jovi, and many other popular 80’s Rock bands, this wacky and rocking show will make you headbang all night.

15 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13 ON sTage

saN dIeg O gaY MeN’s ChOrUs spIlls tHe tea wItH BRITPOP

Since 1985, the San Diego Men’s Chorus (their original name) has been an institution of San Diego’s Gay and Queer community with massive concerts for everyone’s enjoyment. Their fabulous themed presentations have earned them an impressive following which usually sells out the historic Balboa Theater in Downtown. During their start, about 55 applicants became members, and today around 300 men compile this successful organization.

The choir has performed numerous official concerts in acclaimed venues like the Shrine Auditorium and Wiltern Theatre in Los Angeles, the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center in Dallas, Denver’s Buell Hall, and the University of Washington, Seattle, as well as local houses like the San Diego’s Copley Symphony Hall, Spreckels Theatre, Mandeville Auditorium at UCSD, Mandell Weiss Theatre (La Jolla Playhouse), The Grand Ballroom of the Cafe del Rey Moro in Balboa Park, Bahia Hotel, the First Unitarian Universalist and University Christian Churches. The non-profit organization has also partnered with relevant artistic organizations like the San Diego Opera, Pacific Chamber Orchestra, Three’s Company Dancers, and San Diego Symphony.

As influential members of the Gay and Lesbian Community, the group has joined forces with other notable choruses and bands, such as the San Diego Women’s Chorus, Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles, Turtle Creek Chorale, Portland Lesbian Choir, South Coast Chorale from Orange County, Desert Voices from Tucson, Long Beach Men’s Chorus, Orlando Gay Chorus, San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, and America’s Finest City Freedom Band.

You may also recognize the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus members for taking the field at some of the San Diego Padres

games, as well as some events in The White House during the 90’s, and even the pregame show at the Super Bowl! The Chorus has performed with superstars such as Carol Channing, Barry Manilow, Nichelle Nichols, and Grammy-nominated Westwind Brass.

Back in 2004, the group made its international debut as they performed at the GALA Choruses International Choral Festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada to thousands of audience members from around the world. Notably, in 2006, the Chorus became the first Gay chorus to be featured as mainstage entertainment

on a major cruise ship when it presented “On the Good Ship...” onboard Princess Cruise Line’s Diamond Princess. Now that’s what I call an impressive resume!

This Spring, they are bringing a variety spectacle called BRITPOP, showcasing music from Britain’s greatest pop stars, including Elton John, Queen, David Bowie, Sam Smith, The Beatles, The Kinks, The Stones, and Coldplay. No Gay Brit themed extravaganza could happen without some divas sprinkled in, such as Adele, Jessie J, Dua Lipa, Shirley Bassey, and Leona Lewis, to name a few. The choir is known for arranging clever song medleys that will give everyone in attendance a taste of the ample repertoire that Great Britain Pop music has to offer. The chorus also features a subdivision group of members that display high-energy choreography and interpretive dance to marry the stellar sounds of the chorus’ voices. I mean, we gotta make it extra fabulous and spectacular, am I right?

When I first moved to San Diego back in 2016, my roommate and I decided to try out for the chorus as a way to meet people in our new hometown. The theme for that year was Broadway Now, which we were stoked about, both being Musical Theatre actors. The

way we were welcomed on day one of our rehearsal process was incredible. We didn’t really know anyone in town, and now, we had hundreds of new friends, just like that! We had an absolute blast performing with the group, and to this day, members come to support my Theatre performances regularly. That’s the magic of the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus, the sense of brotherhood and community through stunning choral arrangements and social gatherings.

The chorus’ mission statement is “To create a positive musical experience through exciting performances which engage our audiences, build community support and provide a dynamic force for social change.” This is the reason why we need to continue to support organizations like this, that bring a message of inclusion and representation to the general public.

So, tell your family and friends to come together and join the incredible San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus for their concert BRITPOP at the historic Balboa Theatre on Saturday, April 22, 2023, at 8pm, and Sunday, April 23, 2023, at 3pm. They will, they will ROCK YOU!

For tickets and more information, visit https://sdgmc.org/

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“The chorus also features a subdivision group of members that display high-energy choreography and interpretive dance”
(courtesy image)

artIst profIle: kevIN rOberT wINger

“In my late twenties, I was in school studying environmental science and I decided to take a painting class. I had some old paints at home and a palette knife. No brushes. So I used the tools I had on hand and I really liked what happened. My professor liked my work so much that he placed two of them in an exhibition at San Diego Mesa College. They were priced at what I thought were ridiculous prices at the time, but both sold to professors at the college. That summer, I decided to change my major to Fine Arts.”

As he was about to graduate with Associates of Arts in 2010, he had the opportunity to open up a small gallery in Liberty Station. For a decade, he was able to establish himself as an emerging artist and gallery owner. Working only using thick oil paint and palette knifes, Winger takes a sculptural approach to painting. The application is so heavy that it can take up to a year for the paint to dry. He expresses philosophical ideas through a number of abstract series that visually imply florals (Floraform Series), landscapes (Chromascapes series) and geometric shapes (Untitled).

jai has long been known as fertile ground for the arts. When the “Mama of Dada” artist Beatrice Wood settled in the town in the late 40’s, she inspired many artists, writers and other creatives to follow.

For Kevin Robert Winger, Ojai was an inspirational place to grow up. Born in 1977, Winger was the middle child of a plumber and a bus driver. His mother, who would later come out to the family as Lesbian, encouraged his own creativity by enrolling him into painting classes. For many years, he studied under Sharon Butler exploring traditional, representative painting using brushes.

Understanding that he liked boys at a very young age, he came out to his mother at 12 years old. By the time he made it to high school, he was attempting to reconcile his spirituality with his sexuality. Depression and suicidal thoughts persuaded him to seek advice from a teacher and a preacher, who he feels to this day saved his life.

Publicly coming out in high school was not an easy transition. At the time, there were no support systems for queer youth. Winger was brutally assaulted by a fellow classmate and was hospitalized. It created such a stir that it was covered by the Los Angeles Times giving Winger more attention than he wished for.

“It turned out to have a positive result. Along with my best friend who came out as Bisexual, I helped to found a Gay-Straight Alliance at the school. This led to years of advocacy, establishing numerous Alliances in other County schools, lobbying for Anti-Bullying laws and LGBT activism across the state,” said Winger, who has received state proclamations from the California House and Senate and a GCBAPA (Gold Coast Business and Professional Alliance) Tri-Counties Excellence Award for his work in community service.

While painting took a back seat, Winger’s creativity did not. He found a fascination for photography and music. He played lead guitar and wrote songs for the folkrock band Rain on You, which found moderate success touring the West Coast.

Thirty artworks make up his Assortment series which reveals basic forms floating above a textural grid. While the concept appears visually simple, this series is a meditation on the choices we make in our lives to better ourselves.

“My art is informed by identity within and outside of the gay community. It can be seen as a puzzle. By recognizing the positive and negative, I’m seeking to reveal balance. I want people to see my work and think about finding their own balance by seeing through the noise of modern technology, temptation and the experience of living openly in our world. The works almost act like a form of therapy through composition, form, scale of shapes and color choices.”

“Even through my process of creating art, I am mindful of each mark I make on the surface of the painting. Every mark changes its relationship to all of the other marks. This mirrors what I am trying to express through my art. In life, every decision and action we take reshapes our engagement with the world around us.”

His previous series Intersect was similar to Assortment but the forms were not floating above the grid. Instead, they were woven into the grid like a tapestry. The series, which is almost entirely sold out, had to do with the conflict in our lives as expressed through shape and color.

As Winger looks to the future, he is currently completing a Bachelor’s in Art History from Lindenwood University. He plans to follow that up with a Masters in the Arts and Humanities side of Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. He sees his education as a way to enrich himself and build upon the conceptual components of his artwork.

“I enjoy the evolution of my art practice. I hope that my art can shine a light on what brings us together as well as teach us how to treat each other with more compassion.”

Patric Stillman is a visual artist and gallery owner of The Studio Door. If you are an artist in San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community and would like to be featured in an artist profile, please contact Patric for consideration at patric@thestudiodoor.com.

17 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13
Kevin Winger lives with Bart Smoot, his husband of 15 years in San Diego while creating and selling his artwork out of his studio at The Studio Door. Winger can be found online at kevinwinger.com and on social media Facebook @Mod.Est.Gallery and IG @krwinger. Gradient I Coming Out II Kevin Robert Winger (courtesy image)
O
Color Language II
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Assortment VI
“what it means to be an artist is that you have to create it and you have to share it. You have to engage with the community in order to add to its richness. That’s very important and not an easy thing to do because art is so personal.”

CITY aTTOrNeY News

Mara w. elliott

—Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

Aided by technologies that make it easy to track victims online and in real life, stalking is a growing and often deadly crime that largely targets young people.

Thirty years ago, the term “stalker” was hardly known. Today, more than 1 million victims are stalked every year, most of them women and most of them under 25. Their stalkers are usually someone they know – an ex-boyfriend, a date, or someone at work – and 80 to 90 percent of stalkers are male.

Parents need to be especially vigilant. Children may not rec-

asseMblYMaN ward News Chris

ward

—Assemblymember Chris Ward is a parent of two young children who motivate him every day to make the world a better place.

Chris was elected to serve the 78th Assembly District in November 2020, and quickly got to work on legislative action and constituent services to help state resources reach residents in need. He was appointed as Speaker Pro Tempore in December 2022 and to critical committees important to the priorities of the 78th District.

Hello, Assembly District 78!

My legislative package for this year has been finalized and my bills are starting to move through the legislative process. I wanted to take a minute this month to outline the lifecycle of a bill, so you have an understanding how state bills do or don’t become laws in Sacramento, and how you can provide your feedback at the right times.

The first step for Assemblymembers and Senators is to send their policy idea to the Legislative Counsel where state code language is drafted that specifies how the policy would be implemented. After that, the bill is ready for introduction. When the lawmaker is ready, he or she delivers it to the Chief Clerk or Sec-

ognize the point when a romantic interest in them becomes an obsession, or an unrequited crush leads to a desire to control and harm.

Stalking can occur in many ways, but here are some commonly identified tactics:

• Following and watching the victim;

• Showing up uninvited in places such as the victim’s home, workplace, or school;

• Repeatedly seeking information from friends and family;

• Sneaking into the victim’s home

or car to scare the victim or let the victim know he’d been there;

• Making repeated phone calls, including hang-ups and voice messages; and

• Sending unwanted texts, emails, social media messages, cards, letters, flowers, or presents.

Advances in technology are adding more tools to a stalker’s toolbox.

Stalkers use social media profiles to monitor the habits, preferences, and likely whereabouts of their victims. They use hidden

cameras and recorders to spy on victims and the Internet to post threats or virtually harass them.

Global positioning system (GPS) technology allows stalkers to track a victim’s location. Small GPS devices, like Apple AirTags, can be dropped into a purse or a car window.

My Office prosecuted one stalker who’d attached a GPS device to the bottom of his victim’s car. He was caught on a home surveillance camera as he checked on the device while the car sat in the victim’s driveway.

In another case, the victim got aggressive and threatening texts from her ex, including photos of her damaged car with messages like “this is just the start.”

As with many stalking victims, she changed her phone number. The stalker, consistently persistent, found her new number and contact her 400 times in one day, threatening violence against her, her son, and her ex-husband.

When a restraining order failed to stop the conduct, my Office filed a criminal complaint alleging stalking, annoying or harassing communications, and vandalism. The defendant pleaded guilty to the stalking charge. He was sentenced to 60 days in jail, three years of probation, and a 52-week counseling class, and is the subject of a 10-year Criminal Protective Order.

In 1991, California became the first state to make stalking illegal, though the law primarily referred to obsessively pursuing celebrities. It was later expand-

ed, and today, every state has stalking laws.

Stalking may be charged as a felony or a misdemeanor, depending on the facts. My Office handles misdemeanors, and we take all such incidents seriously. We recognize that victims can experience psychological distress, including post-traumatic stress and an increase in suicidal thoughts.

Before we can prosecute, however, we must hear from the victim. Most stalking incidents are not reported out of fear, embarrassment, or a failure to recognize that the behavior is a crime.

If you are a victim or hear about repeated incidents of stalking behavior, please report it to the police. They can investigate, identify the stalker, and take steps to keep you safe. This could include seeking restraining orders, arresting the stalker, or adding patrols to your home or workplace. In some cases, police officers may recommend counseling or other support services to help the victim.

As with any behavior where someone tries to assert power over you, being stalked is a terrifying experience that can take a huge emotional toll – or prove lethal. Calling 911 is not an overreaction.

In addition, my Office’s Your Safe Place – A Family Justice Center offers a safe, supportive environment for victims of stalkers who also experience domestic violence, family violence, or sexual assault. You can find out more at 619-533-6000.

tion Commission to study the relationship between vehicle weight and injuries to vulnerable road users, such as pedestrians and cyclists, as well as the costs and benefits of imposing a passenger vehicle weight fee to fund road safety features. A wealth of research is linking the increased injuries we see to vehicle weight, and California could join 14 other states in using a weight fee to support infrastructure and reduce accidents.

retary who then assigns the policy a bill number – say, AB 123.

Now, Assembly bills are assigned to one or more policy committees in the Assembly depending on the issue areas covered. Senate bills start in the Senate. Committees typically have several members who vet each bill for merits and potential issues and hear from the bill’s author on why the legislation is needed. The members can also suggest changes to the bill the author can accept or reject. The committee then votes on whether to move the bill forward.

These committee meetings are crucial steps in the legislative process and where your input is valued. Public feedback is important –– not just for those who oppose a bill, but also for those who support it.

Now this is important: You

can provide your voice in-person in Sacramento, or by emailing or calling my district office where we will log your position which is sent to me by my staff ahead of votes. There is a portal on my website you can provide comment on any bill.

Incidentally, we have 33 policy committee areas across the Assembly and each member is typically assigned to sit on about five of those. My assignments are Housing and Community Development; Transportation; Labor and Employment; Water, Parks and Wildlife; and the Natural Resources committees. If a bill goes through any other committee, I don’t have a chance to weigh in until a floor vote – if it makes it there at all.

Once it passes out of all committees, it will then go on to the full house for a vote to move

forward. As a personal rule, I do not take premature positions on any legislation until it comes time for me to vote. That way, I have all the time necessary to weigh public input and look for possible improvements a bill might receive along the way.

Once a bill is approved by the full Assembly, or Senate, it then moves to the opposite house to go through the same process all over again during the summer months. In the fall, if it passes both houses, the bill is ready to head to the governor’s desk for a signature where he or she has 30 days to sign it into law or veto it.

LEGISLATIVE UPDATE

Now – with my legislation introduced, I wanted to take second to highlight a few of my bills up for debate: AB 251 would direct the California Transporta-

To address the housing crisis, I’ve introduced three bills that aim to make it easier to build homes. AB 671 will allow a community land trust to purchase residential property and construct accessory dwelling units to provide more affordable housing properties. AB 515 allows refinancing or sales of HCD financed projects to turn loan repayments into affordable housing opportunities. And AB 84 allows property owners to receive the welfare property tax exemption at the time of purchase for land developed and used for low-income housing.

As always, I want to thank you for your support. I’m grateful to be your representative and work on these issues and more. One of the best ways to stay informed is to follow my social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram where you can know in real time what developments are happening or what I’m working on every day.

And if you need assistance, please know that my district office staff is available and ready to serve or answer any questions I wish you, your family and your neighbors all the best.

18 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13 pU blIC s erv IC e
(image by shutterstock.com)
Is
IsN’T lIfe CYCle Of a bIll
stalkInG
all too Common; repOrTINg

After hearing evidence that a former sailor’s DNA was found at a 1990 fatal stabbing scene amid clothing of a gay sailor, a judge ordered the former sailor to stand trial for murder.

Brian Scott Koehl, now 52 and from Tennessee, was 19 years old in San Diego when he allegedly killed Larry Joe Breen, 32, who was stationed aboard the USS Fox CG-33 at the time.

Additionally, Koehl’s bare footprint was found and preserved from the shower where Breen lived in Point Loma at the time, according to testimony. There was a lot of blood in the residence and the killer may have used the shower to rinse off.

After hearing testimony for 1 1/2 days in a March preliminary hearing, San Diego Superior Court Judge Aaron Katz found there was enough evidence to justify a murder trial and set it for July 11. Koehl pleaded not guilty.

A surprise witness included the best man at Koehl’s wedding who said that Koehl confessed to him in 1992 to killing a gay sailor “who came on to me.” The witness, Douglas Jones, testified “he said he stabbed him 19 times... (and) made sure he was dead.”

“Half of me was shocked. Half of me didn’t want to believe it,” said Jones, who added that Koehl told him he wiped his fingerprints off everything before stealing the dead sailor’s car.

Jones said Koehl brought up the subject by saying “I killed somebody” while they were both drinking at a bar and were outside at the time.

“He came out naked and started rubbing me,” Jones quoted Koehl as telling him. “A little faggot came on to me,” Jones said Koehl said. He described Koehl as “homophobic.”

Criminal proceedings resumed March 30 for a man suspected of felony vandalism at the Metropolitan Community Church after a judge determined he was mentally competent to understand court proceedings.

San Diego Superior Court Judge Cindy Davis said she read the psychiatric evaluation of Richard Meza, 28, which was conducted in jail.

A preliminary hearing was set for April 13. Neither Meza’s attorney nor the prosecutor presented any argument. The psychiatric evaluation is not public record, but it is presumed the psychiatrist believed Meza was mentally competent to stand trial.

He is charged with vandalizing a house of worship and committing $4,272 damages in vandalism at the church at 2633 Denver Street. Meza appeared in court March 30 in blue jail clothes.

MCC security cameras captured images of a man throwing a cinderblock, rocks, and a soda bottle at two windows and a glass door at 4 a.m. on January 10. The church sent the images to San Diego Police and Meza was arrested.

The damages have already been fixed after donations and other funds came to $4,074, according to the church’s GoFundMe page and Senior Pastor Dan Koeshall. The glass door on the first door was shattered as well as two windows were broken.

Davis changed Meza’s no bail

ex-saIlOr Ordered TO sTaNd TrIal In GaY murder 33 Years aGo

“He said the blood was slippery and the knife cut his hand,” said Jones, who added that Koehl said he had a scar from the wound.

Jones said he eventually told his wife at the time, and they attempted to report the homicide, which Jones thought occurred in San Francisco.

Jones testified he only learned of the prosecution in this case when Breen’s sister contacted Jones’ wife and was seeking a character letter from him to send to a judge about bail. Jones added he declined to send such a letter.

Breen was found without clothing and deceased in the backyard of a home at the corner of Nimitz Boulevard and Locust Street on May 25, 1990. He was stabbed twice in the neck and lost a lot of blood.

Investigators in the case got a hit using genetic genealogy in which forensic genealogists matched DNA from the crime scene to relatives of Koehl who uploaded their DNA into public databases.

Testimony showed that NCIS agents watched Koehl in Tenn.

and retrieved an Arby’s soda container that he drank out of and discarded. His DNA was confirmed in the lab as matching that of the killer, according to criminalist David Cornacchia.

A retired pathologist for San Diego County, Dr. Leena Jariwala, testified from a wheelchair and she also looked at her report that she wrote in 1990 after she conducted the autopsy.

Jariwala said the two neck wounds caused Breen’s death and said, “the death would be very quick” because of the “extensive injury to the blood vessels.”

She told attorneys she remembered the case, adding “I went to the scene.” Someone asked her age and she replied, “75 plus.”

Jariwala said Breen had a blood/alcohol level of .15 at the time of his death, which meant he was intoxicated. His jugular vein was severed, and he had wounds on his legs and arms, she said.

Cornacchia testified Koehl’s DNA was found on empty beer bottles in Breen’s home along

with a blood stain on the wall. Also, Koehl’s DNA was found on the inside of Breen’s jeans, a sock, and a white T-shirt at the scene, said Cornacchia.

Detective Lori Adams testified a bare footprint preserved in Breen’s shower was saved and it matches the left foot of Koehl that was taken after he was arrested in Knoxville, Tenn.

Adams also said other suspects were eliminated over the years in DNA tests.

“Mr. Breen was running for his life,” said Deputy District Attorney Lisa Fox as she summed up the case. “There were numerous wounds all over his body. The DNA links this defendant to this crime.”

Koehl’s attorney, Alicia Freeze, told the judge “There is no one who independently can say what happened 33 years ago.” She described the “shoddy investigation in 1990” by police doesn’t show who the killer is, adding her client’s fingerprints were not found at the crime scene.

“The court feels the evidence presented far exceeds the burden (by the prosecutor),” said Katz, who added that Jones was “a

very compelling witness.”

After Koehl was ordered to stand trial, the prosecutor asked the judge to remand him to jail without bail, saying the $500,000 bond he is on is insufficient.

“He has been 33 years on the run. There is no greater flight risk than that,” said Fox.

Freeze asked the judge to allow Koehl to remain free on bond, saying he has made all his court appearances, was cooperative and has “a life in Knoxville” where he lives with his wife.

Katz agreed that Koehl should remain free on $500,000 bond but ordered Koehl to have no contact with Jones.

Koehl waived his right to have a speedy trial.

status to $25,000, but his attorney docketed a bail review for April 5 in hopes another judge would lower it further. Meza remains in the George Bailey Detention Facility.

Koeshall said the church has a $2,500 deductible in the insurance policy, and they decided not to make a claim. Another church donated funds along with a local judge and many others, some from out of state contributed to the GoFundMe page.

Koeshall said the congregation

has prayed for the vandal, but that he needs to be held accountable.

“I would want him to get help and then also to prevent that anger from coming out on another innocent person or innocent place,” said Koeshall in an interview with KGTV Channel 10.

The GoFundMe request says MCC “serves a very diverse community where everyone is welcome--regardless of faith, background, race, gender identity, or sexual orientation.”

19 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13
pU zzle s OlUTION
I
DECISIoNS THAT
REGRET
FRom PAGE 13
COU rT N ews
Larry Breen (courtesy image) Brian Scott Koehl (courtesy image) (image by shutterstock.com)
MCC vaNdal f OUNd TO be MeNTallY COMpeTeNT aprIl 13 prelIm HearInG set
“half of me was shocked. half of me didn’t want to believe it”
20 lgbtqsd.news APRI l 2023 volume 4 I ssue 13

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