LGBTQ San Diego County News August 2020 volume 1 issue 22 by Lgbtqsdnews

LGBTQSD.NEWS

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

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ENTERTAINMENT

COMMUNITY VOICES

TARA MADISON AVERY Creating a More Accurate Representation in the World of Comics P11

LIFE BEYOND THERAPY DABDA: The 5 Stages of Grief P7

SNOWFLAKE A New Fictional Film that Dramatizes Modern Day Political Divides P12

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICOLE You Can Be in Support of BLM and SDPD P8

BIG MIKE & FRIENDS Brandon Allen P10

COMMUNITY LETTERS Lillian Faderman | Chris Shaw | Brian Bazinet P9

PUBLIC SERVICE

A NOTE FROM TONI Back to School at Home P6

CITY ATTORNEY NEWS When a Child is Abducted by a Parent P14

Privatizing Jail Medical Service is Bad for Care, Employees and Incarcerated Individuals SUPERVISOR NATHAN FLETCHER P14

NEW BUSINESS BLOOMING IN THE COMMUNITY

NEWS

Personal Health P4 2020 Census P5 Court News P15

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

WHIPS N FURS BOUTIQUE OPENS UP

FOR ALL YOUR MAKE-UP, WIGS AND COSTUME NEEDS

IS SO REFRESHIING!

By Cesar A Reyes

t is a welcoming site to see new businesses opening during the COVID -19 pandemic. With so many businesses affected by the lockdown and some closing their doors indefinitely, seeing the grand opening of new establishments gives all of us hope for the future.

READ ON PAGE 3

By Cesar A Reyes

Kyle Vincent aka Vivvi Incognito Owner of Whips N Furs Boutique ( Photos by Big Mike Phillips)

100 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WOMEN’S RIGHT TO VOTE!

Michael and Jason Allamon at the grand opening of Freshii in Hillcrest.( Photo by Big Mike Phillips)

READ ON PAGE 2

The women’s suffrage movement was a decades-long fight to win the right to vote for women in the United States. It took activists and reformers nearly 100 years to win that right, and the campaign was hard fought. Disagreements over strategy threatened to cripple the movement more than once. But on August 18, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the Constitution was finally ratified, enfranchising all American women and declaring for the first time that they, like men, deserve all the rights and responsibilities of citizenship.

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AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

COVER STORY

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Freshii continued from Page 1 We had the pleasure of sitting down with Michael and Jason Allamon to talk about the grand opening of Freshii in Hillcrest. CAR: Tell us about you guys, your individual stories and the story of how you met and how long you’ve been together. FRESHII: We are known as “Sparkles and The Chef” as many of our friends like to call us! MICHAEL ALLAMON (THE CHEF): I was orphaned at birth. My mother was German and my father Native American and African American; they could not take the pressure of having a multi-race child in America of the 1960s so I was taken by my mother’s family and raised in the very small municipality of Wierschem, Germany (population of 326 today). I have been privileged to travel extensively throughout my entire career and experienced many different cultures throughout the entire world. I feel humbled and enlightened at the same time. I am a Swiss-trained candy maker and pastry chef and have been in the industry for more than 20 years, a graduate of Cesar Ritz Colleges in Luzern Switzerland and Florida International University in Miami with degrees in Pastry and Hotel & Restaurant Management. Prior to this career, I was in U.S. Army Intelligence for many years. I joined the Army at 17 after being abandoned by my family when I came out to them at 15. I have no regrets and have lived my life on my own terms. I believe that the entire purpose of life is “to learn to live happy, work hard and help those you meet in life who are in need of help.” My amazing husband Jason Allaman (aka Sparkles) is from Erie, Pennsylvania and is a graduate of Mercyhurst College with a degree in Hotel Restaurant Institutional Management. We met many years ago and lived in Wilton Manors, Florida, where Jason (Sparkles) managed a bar and restaurant and I was the proprietor of a bakery and candy store. I also specialized in buildouts of restaurants focusing on startups. Recently, I did a build out and startup for Chef Santiago Campa and Wendy Bartels for one of his new Donut Bar locations in Pacific Beach. That was an exciting experience and I made new friends with an amazing brand. Jason and I dated for a while in Florida and four years ago, after “that” election, we felt it was time to leave Florida. We decided to take a chance and make a big move across country to San Diego. We were fortunate to have friends here with a bakery business (Babycakes); Christopher Stavros and Pastry Chef Rafael Del Rio were in need of a manager to help with operations while they focused on a new buildout and a change in their business model. Jason, with his background in fine dining with Ritz Carlton, decided to join Hornblower Cruises as an event manager — he truly provides an amazing experience for his guests (totally a Julie McCoy). We married last July with a fantastic ceremony complete with fireworks on the bay aboard the Admiral Hornblower and, of course, Babycakes made our delicious cake and we were joined by our friends and family from all over the world. We absolutely love living here and being part of a wonderful community filled with nice, caring people. CAR: What motivated you guys to open Freshii? THE CHEF: I was fortunate to have been responsible for the buildout of the new Donut Bar in Pacific Beach and became acquainted with Freshii because it was next door. It was perfect for me because having grown up on farmland, I have been eating healthy, fresh food all my life and at my age, long-term proper healthy eating is paying off. We eat very healthy. For Jason, it also was a perfect fit with his extensive FOH experience. So, when this exciting opportunity presented to become co-owners of the Freshii Hillcrest location, it was an easy decision for us. The time had come to jump in, take the risk and become a part of a wonderful, healthy franchise doing something we both love and take great pride in. We have no fear of hard work, team building and putting down roots in a great community. Hillcrest, we are home! Because of all the COVID sanitation requirements, it takes a little longer for us to prepare orders. We have taken the opportunity to redesign our entrance and Sparkles turned the main dining room into a living wall orchid garden room, where guests can wait socially distanced and relax and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere while we prepare Freshii food for them. We have installed red (stop) and green (go) lights at our entrance for better social distancing. CAR: What can customers discover from Freshii? SPARKLES and THE CHEF: Our menu is nutritionled and constantly evolving. In fact, every 90 days, we roll out a new item that incorporates the latest health and food trends. Our lead nutritionist is forever testing

FRESHII HILLCREST

Michael Allamon (courtesy image)

1255B University Ave, San Diego, CA 92103 .858.564.3447 MON-SUN 11AM–8PM above and below: Freshii grand opening (Photos by Big Mike Phillips)

Jason and Michael’s wedding receptions (courtesy image)

and tasting ways to make these trends as nutrientdense, accessible and crave-worthy as possible. We’re hard-pressed to think of another fast-casual spot that’s led by nutrition in the same way Freshii is, on our scale. Turmeric juices, Energii Bites and grain bowls only skim the surface. We have seven different menu categories – bowls, burritos, salads, wraps, soups, smoothies and juices – and each one is full of innovation. We don’t say “Eat. Energize.” for nothing. Matthew Corrin is the founder and CEO of Freshii. After opening his first location in 2005, his entrepreneurial spirit drove him to open the next 100 locations faster than Subway, Jimmy John’s, McDonald’s and Starbucks. Today, Freshii operates in over 300 locations across 85-plus cities in 20 countries. Matthew is a recipient of the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year award, Canada’s Top 40 under 40, Inc. Magazine’s Top 30 under 30, and Canadian Association of Foodservice Professionals Restaurateur of the Year. In 2018, Freshii was awarded the No. 1 Top Brand by FastCasual Magazine and is continuing to redefine the fast-casual industry while attracting high-quality franchise partners worldwide. All of our packaging is made from biodegradable corn and potato resin or is easily recyclable. Even our efficient store designs use eco-friendly materials whenever possible. “Eat. Energize.” is on the wall of every restaurant, alongside our mantra. It’s this mantra that guides us, motivates us and pushes us together as a global team: Let’s eat without regret. Let’s love kale. Let’s embrace quinoa. Let’s try new things. Let’s try unlikely combos. Let’s eat things that are good. Let’s eat things that make us feel good. Let’s eat and sit. Let’s be good to the earth. Let’s let the earth be good to us. Let’s eat. Energize. “Let’s be good to the earth” is a key part of our mantra and a notion that we’re committed to across our entire network. We call it “Mission Green.” CAR: What are your hours of operation? And can people pre-order for pick up or delivery? SPARKLES and THE CHEF: We are currently open from 11 a.m.-8 p.m. seven days a week. We have a new Freshii app coming out in September and currently customers can call in orders at 858-564-3447 or order on GrubHub, Postmates, Uber Eats and Doordash. CAR: How has the pandemic affected the launch of the business? SPARKLES and THE CHEF: We are a mask-mandatory business and we exceed the CDC-recommended COVID Best Practices — we only allow one party in to order at a time. We are in the process of helping to educate the public of the importance of eating very healthy especially

during this COVID crisis. Times are difficult, however those of us who have been in this industry for a while know you have to be able to accept the challenge, adapt and change on a moment’s notice. We are excited for the future. Eat. Energize! CAR: What would you like the community to know? SPARKLES and THE CHEF: We have arrived and are happy to have a wonderful community to be a part of. We absolutely love Hillcrest and San Diego. We are actively working with the community and are planning to add a mural to the side of our building. We are HOME. We are currently working with our neighbor The Merrow on opening an outdoor space for eating and drinking with some long-term plans for light entertainment, such as a movie night, as restrictions lift. We are donating 25 meals three times a week to Scripps and UCSD Medical for ICU doctors and nurses in order to help them with proper nutrition for a healthy immune system. We believe that when a community comes together to support each other, the community becomes stronger! CAR: How can the community show support? SPARKLES and THE CHEF: We have hired several full-time employees who also live here in the community. If we can help the community learn best practices of eating healthy, they will help themselves and help us to provide sustainable employment to more community members. We would also like to thank 3 “key people” of the community. Thank you Big Mike for your continued support and dedication, you have been here for us and we really appreciate you. Thank you Eddie Rey, from the Equality Business Alliance for being a part of our ribbon cutting and your support, it is very important to us. Paris Quion, from InsideOut, you have been a great neighbor to our business. We love your energy and want to thank you for your support and for believing in us.“No man is an island” — it is important to be involved in the community and support the leaders and members of our community. CAR: Hopes for the future? SPARKLES and THE CHEF: We are excited to help more people learn about the importance of proper nutrition, then we will have accomplished our mission. When life hands you lemons, Freshii makes “Charcoal Lemonade” cold-pressed juice. We hope to be able to provide more jobs into the community.

Let’s eat. Let’s energize. Let’s try new things. Much love, “ Sparkles and The Chef “ (Jason and Michael Allamon)

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COVER STORY

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

WHIPS N FURS BOUTIQUE

2800 University Ave, San Diego, CA 92104 619.719.5925 WED-SUN 12–5PM

WHIPS N FURS BOUTIQUE . DRAG . THEATRE . COSPLAY . BURLESQUE . MAKEUP . WIGS . COSTUMES . ACCESSORIES . MORE

s the Covid-19 pandemic has made performers find new ways to interact with their audience via virtual shows, local resources for those performers have become diminished with the takeover of online shopping. But what happens if you’re in a pinch and need some products; a wig or a last minute costume? The opening of Whips N Furs Boutique on University Avenue in North Park is such a refreshing site to see especially since it takes over the long standing home of Maria’s Secrets Wig Shop. We caught up with Kyle Vincent aka; Vivvi Incognito aka; The Force to “talk shop.” CAR: Give us some background on who Vivvi is? VI: Vivvi Incognito is the stage persona of Kyle Vincent. Formerly known as Vivvi “The Force”. I am a San Diego local drag queen, show host and event curator. I am known for my unique high glamour punk rock style and terrifying demonic performances. I am passionate about highlighting diversity in our local LGBTQ community and expanding opportunities for local performers and artists to create, network and showcase their talents. CAR: Earlier in the year you had announced that you wanted to open a shop, and then COVID-19 happened. What originally made you want to open one back then? VI: I always wanted to open my own costume store! I worked at one in San Francisco for 3 years and I fell in love with the atmosphere and unlimited imagination that a costume store offers. I saw the need in San Diego to have a place for costumes and theatrical quality makeup. I want to be a resource for the community to have access to everything they need to put their creative ideas into reality and have a place to go to be inspired. I plan on having workshops taught by myself and other masters of the trade, including makeup application, special fx, wig styling, pad making and more! CAR: When Maria announced that she would be closing Secrets Wig Shop, it was sad news. She has been such a staple in the entertainment community. But we are so happy to see the space continue with new life and your concept. How did that come about? VI: I was offered the chance by Maria of Secrets Wigs to operate a small makeup counter in the corner of her store and get my “feet wet” starting my own business. I had everything lined up- I registered Whips n Furs as a business, began contracting with vendors and purchased a display cabinet. The day I was going to drop everything off at the store, Maria informed me that because of Covid, she needed to close the store for the time

being. 4 months passed and she eventually had to go out of business completely. I decided to go big or go home. I spoke with the landlord and applied to lease the store front myself. I am sad Secrets had to close, but I am grateful to be able to expand on Maria’s legacy and keep the spot open! There are still plenty of wigs, but now you can also find costumes, accessories, theatrical makeup, and just about anything to feel glamorous all year around. CAR: It’s been frustrating to see local costume shops disappear. These days if you have the need for supplies, you are left hoping amazon can deliver next day. What can folks who visit find at the shop? VI: You can find your entire make up and special fx supplies. We carry Ben Nye, Mehron and Kyrolan products. I have costumes and accessories for Drag Kings and Queens, Burlesque performers, Cosplay folx, and Halloween all year long. You’ll find Halloween and masquerade masks, wigs, corsets, hats galore, pasties, professional

reusable beards and staches, prop weapons and other stage props, lashes, glasses and tutus! I also have two “Drag on a Dime Bins” of fun random thangs for under $10. CAR: How scary is it to open a boutique in the middle of a pandemic? VI: As you are probably well aware, Vivvi is fearless as Hell! But this is definitely terrifying!! I have moments of extreme confidence and moments of doubt. Ironically, without Covid happening, my store may not have been able to open and my dream may have just stayed as that. The store is already a success and I know when this is all over, I’ll be able to open in full capacity and hopefully become a staple shop for our city. I am enjoying the calm before the storm. CAR: What is the importance of the community supporting local small business? VI: It is very important for the local community to support small businesses because we are the backbone of society. Small businesses have a connection to the local folx

Kyle Vincent aka Vivvi Incognito at Whips N Furs Boutique ( Photos by Big Mike Phillips)

they serve that big corporations cannot replicate. Supporting small business owners who are active participants in the communities they serve is something to value. I am not sure of any other Black Queer owned businesses in town. Why is that? We need no more than ever to uplift new ventures like Whips n Furs and inspire more Black LGBTQ folks to go for their goals! CAR: What would you tell people who want to stop by the shop? What precautions are you taking to be safe not only for yourself but for your clients? VI: I am requiring that all shoppers wear a mask while inside of the store. I provide hand sanitizer upon entering the store and hand sanitizer can be found throughout the store. I also have clear plastic slips on most of the costumes; I ask that people please try to use the plastic when you browse through clothing. CAR: Being locked inside has made entertainers find new avenues for sharing their creativity. How do you handle that? VI: I mostly just sign up for things and then cancel last minute. I have been casted for a few virtual shows that are coming up soon. Please follow me on IG @ vivvi_incognito to catch the dates and where to view. With opening the store I haven’t had much time lately to film any new at-home performances but will be working on some stuff soon!! I have a ton of ideas, just not the time to do them all! You can see all of the videos I have made so far on YouTube! Subscribe to Vivvi The Force to watch! CAR: With people discovering new ways of being creative and entertaining themselves at home, they might need some shopping assistance for drag or special effects make up, I am sure Vivvi will be happy to guide them along? Is that a safe assumption? VI: Of course! That is what I am here for! Please reach out to me or stop by the store and tell me all about your ideas and makeup or performance goals! I love to be of service and love to brainstorm ways to execute an idea or vision. I am willing to share my knowledge of makeup, drag and performance with anyone willing to take the time to learn and I love helping others find and reach their potential. Instagram: @whipsnfurssandiego

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

HEALTH

MAINTAINING YOUR PERSONAL HEALTH WHAT YOU SHOULD DO ABOUT ROUTINE HEALTH CARE DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC By LGBTQ San Diego County News

re you wondering if it’s time to schedule those various health care appointments you’ve been putting off? With restrictions related to COVID-19 easing in many places, learn how to stay safe while getting the care you need. RESEARCH: Before making an appointment, call your health care provider’s office or check their website to find out about any special guidelines to keep people safe during a visit. Make sure to keep an eye out for information about: • Guidelines on wearing masks by staff and patients. • Sanitation protocols in facilities regarding waiting areas, restrooms, exam rooms and frequently touched surfaces. • Social-distancing practices at check in, waiting areas and in exam rooms. • The limit of people who can be in the facility at the same time, if applicable. • Possible video appointment options.

BEFORE THE DAY OF APPOINTMENT: A day or so before your appointment, you might get a call from someone at the facility to check if you have any symptoms commonly associated with COVID-19 (cough, fever, shortness of breath). You will be asked to bring a mask and they will let you know if you can bring a person to your appointment, if needed. During this call, it is important that you ask any questions you might have regarding your visit, payment methods and procedures. DURING YOUR VISIT: On the day of your visit, remember the following: • Wear your mask. If you forget one, the facility may be able to provide you with one. • Wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds when you use the restroom, and keep hand sanitizer handy to use before or after touching any surfaces in public areas. • Avoid touching your face (mouth, eyes, nose).

• Cover any cough or sneeze with your elbow or tissue and throw away tissue when done. When wearing a mask, cough or sneeze into the mask. • Keep your distance. Aim to keep 6 feet away from others at the facility and keep an eye out for markings on the floor to help you maintain physical distancing.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

them know you have arrived rather than wait in the waiting room. Cleaning your teeth will take longer. The devices used in dental procedures often vibrate, spin and spray saliva from patients’ mouths into tiny water droplets that can stay in the air for a while. For this reason, dental hygienists are switching to hand instruments when possible that have a lower chance of creating small clouds of droplets and help prevent the possibility that the coronavirus can remain suspended in these aerosols. Dentists are also depending more on suction devices that hook around your mouth to vacuum any potential aerosols at the source. Keep all of these things in mind when making an appointment. Now more than ever, dental health experts recommend people should be diligent about their dental health at home. And when in doubt, call your dentist or send an email with questions. OPTOMETRIST VISITS: August is National Eye Exam Month! Just like any

other medical-related visits, you will want to check with your optometrist’s office for any special rules and regulations for setting future appointments. Again, keep in mind that visits may take longer than their usual time. And any procedure that can be done by phone or email should be discussed when trying to set an appointment. Virtual telemedicine visits over the phone or through video chat are options to keep in mind. It is important to remember that although there is a lot of concern about COVID-19, common sense precautions can significantly reduce your risk of getting infected. If you wear contact lenses, consider switching to glasses for a while as that would minimize the frequent touching of your eyes. PRESCRIPTIONS: If you have a new prescription or need to refill existing ones, consider mail order. Ask your doctor about getting larger supplies of your medications to avoid constant pharmacy visits. Ask your pharmacy if they provide delivery or if they have drive-thru or curbside pick-up options.

DENTAL APPOINTMENTS: Back in March, the CDC recommended that dentists conduct only emergency procedures for patients. Since then, plenty of states have largely lifted those restrictions and dentists are taking regular check-ins. Check with your dentist’s office to verify what procedures they are able to conduct. Take advantage of anything that can be done over the phone or email, like payments or health questionnaires. You may be asked to wait in your car and call the office at a time before your appointment to let images by shutterstock.com

PUBLIC SERVICE

LGBTQSD.NEWS

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

The Census is like planning how much cake to have at a birthday party based on the number of RSVPs. No one wants to miss out on cake because you thought it was OK to just show up unannounced.

THE CONSTITUTIONAL

RIGHT

WE CANNOT AFFORD TO WASTE By California State Senate President Pro Tempore Toni G. Atkins

image by shutterstock.com

very decade, each person in the United States, young and old, regardless of citizenship, has the Constitutional right to be counted. The Census is the only way for us to determine the true definition of America – whether you live in the largest metropolitan cities or miles down rural routes. Think of it as a universal selfie. Reminders about taking the 2020 Census are emblazoned on billboards, featured in television commercials, and sprinkled into social media news feeds. It makes sense, given that approximately $1.5 trillion dollars in federal funding is at stake. Breaking that down, that means for every person left out of the Census count, California could lose $1,000 per person - per year - for the next 10 years. That’s a loss of $10,000 per uncounted person until the 2030. If you have a family of five, your community could lose $50,000.

The Census is like planning how much cake to have at a birthday party based on the number of RSVPs. No one wants to miss out on cake because you thought it was OK

to just show up unannounced. The total pool of funding is distributed to communities based on population and head counts. This includes babies, children, teenagers, seniors and non-citizens. The current COVID-19 health crisis also affords an all-too-realistic example of why you need to be counted. We need to ensure that we get our fair share of funding and resources in emergency situations. Funding for a community health clinic in your town is based on information only you can provide. It also funds programs and resources like senior services, child health programs, higher education, and job training. As a member of the LGBTQ community, it is clear to me that diversity needs to be reflected in our communities, especially for our Black, Latinx, Asian and other communities of color. This count is part of the movement we are seeing for justice – it is designed to provide vital funding to right economic disparities. It helps public housing benefits, including those for people living with AIDS as well as LGBTQ youth programs. In 2000, it was the first time that the Census was able to show that same-sex couples existed in every Congressional District, according to the National LGBTQ Task Force Policy Director Meghan Maury. It does not provide a way to identify sexual orientation or non-binary gender. Yet. With organizing and advocacy, we can change that for the 2030 Census. It is important to note that this is not a citizenship survey. Despite the Supreme Court already having blocked the

citizenship question from being included in the Census, the current administration continues to wrongfully attempt to circumvent the law and exclude immigrants amongst those counted in the 2020 Census. Those efforts are unconscionable and unconstitutional. Now, more than ever, we need everyone to participate in the 2020 Census so that we can ensure the law, not divisive politics, governs our land. We cannot let people be bullied or made to live in fear. The Constitution

is clear – all people must count. If this current public health and economic crisis has demonstrated anything, it is that vulnerable communities have suffered the most. In addition, COVID-19 has had a significant impact on our public schools and higher education, which means it is even more important to plan for the next 10 years in communities hard hit by this pandemic. Census workers, called enumerators, will begin going door-to-door to collect Census

data. They are not allowed to ask for your social security number, political preference, bank account information, or religious affiliation. It also illegal for the Census Bureau to share your information with law enforcement or any other government agency. And your information cannot be used against you in ny way. So please, consider this my “door-to-door” ask. Have you done a post on Facebook, sent a Tweet or uploaded a picture on Instagram? It’s just as easy to fill out your Census. You can do it online, over the phone or on paper. In fact, you may also be receiving an email, making it even easier to complete. The next 10 years of funding can be determined in just 10 minutes of your time. Make sure you are counted. It is your Constitutional right.

Online: 2020Census.gov By Phone: 844-330-2020

Toni G. Atkins is President pro Tempore of the California Senate. Having previously served as Speaker of the California Assembly, she began her tenure in the Senate in 2016. As Senator for District 39, she represents the cities of San Diego, Coronado, Del Mar and Solana Beach. Website of President pro Tempore Toni G. Atkins: Senate. ca.gov/Atkins

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

PUBLIC SERVICE / OPINION

LGBTQSD.NEWS

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie

A NOTE FROM TONI

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619.241.5672

Toni G. Atkins

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news

—Toni G. Atkins represents the 39th District in the California Senate. Follow her on Twitter @SenToniAtkins.

EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news

or many California families, back to school season is typically marked by trips to the store to gather up binders, glue sticks, and other essentials for the coming academic year. This year, instead of filling new backpacks with supplies to stuff in classroom desks, families are gathering the essentials their students need to start the school year from home. Software and scissors. Monitors and masks. And for so many parents, the questions flow in a constant stream, melting into one constant concern – how do I best help my student prepare for and successfully complete another round of distance learning? Governor Gavin Newsom announced in mid-July that all California schools in counties on the COVID-19 County Monitoring List need to continue distance learning in the fall until their county has been off the list for 14 days. While I support the need to safeguard students and families from the threat of the virus, I empathize with parents and guardians in San Diego and across the state who are grappling with preparing their students for more online instruction, while also continuing to work and support their families. For advice, I turned to Dr. Shulamit Ritblatt, a professor of Child and Family Development at San Diego State University in the College of Education. While we need to be creative about how we can offer in-person instruction so

SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news

BACK TO SCHOOL AT HOME that students can return to campus and harness the social, emotional, and mental health benefits schools provide, Dr. Ritblatt said, there are things parents and guardians can do to help students prepare for distance learning. When talking to your child about continued distance learning, be honest, and acknowledge and validate feelings of disappointment they may have. Include age-appropriate conversation about closing schools to stop the spread of COVID-19 and let your child express how they envisioned the school year, along with any potential obstacles and how to overcome them. Work together to create a comfortable, inviting learning space, which can help provide students with a sense of control, predictability, and security. Make sure their daily routine includes break times, healthy snacks, exercise, rest, and play, and encourage them to use creative ways, like drawing or journaling, to communicate emotions. It’s also important that

students connect with friends, even if it is only virtual, Ritblatt said. When it comes to helping children and teens manage the emotional strain of not being on campus with peers and friends, there are warning signs to watch for, she said. Be on the lookout for mood and behavioral changes, including withdrawal, refusing to talk to friends or join online learning sessions, unexplained crying, thumb sucking, and increased conflict. If you spot unusual behavior, talk to your child about their feelings and what they’re experiencing. Your child’s pediatrician and teacher also are great resources and can work with you on ways to help your student. The COVID-19 crisis has created huge challenges for our state and nation, and has taken a particularly tough toll on California families. Your resilience and dedication to helping mitigate the spread of this virus is admirable, and so very appreciated.

Mike Rosensteel 619.865.2220 STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619.807.7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips D’Anne Witkowski Mara W. Elliott Michael Kimmel Neal Putnam Toni G. Atkins

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff. SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

COMMUNITY VOICES

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LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

DABDA: THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF

“WE DON’T WANT TO ADMIT THAT OUR WORLD HAS EXPERIENCED A HUGE SHOCK, SO WE TRY AND BLOCK IT OUT.”

“Y

ou know the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance?” asked Dr. Emily Landon, a coronavirus expert at the University of Chicago medical school. “I think the American people are in all five of them.” (As quoted in The New York Times, July 19, 2020.) I think Dr. Landon is right. I’d like to give you my take on DABDA (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) as it applies to the COVID-19 situation we’re in now. In my experience as a psychotherapist (and former grief counselor for San Diego Hospice), the stages don’t always happen in a fixed order and we often experience more than one at a time.

image by shutterstock.com

DENIAL

Let’s start with denial. Denial is often our first reaction to something awful. With COVID-19, it may sound like, “This can’t be so bad. Maybe it’s a hoax. I’ll bet it’s just like the flu.” Fox News and Donald Trump are avid practitioners of denial. When we’re in a state of shock, denial helps us to not let more information in than we can handle. To stay in denial, however, isn’t helpful, but it’s where many of us began the COVID-19 grieving process: we don’t want to admit that our world has experienced a huge shock, so we try and block it out.

ANGER

For some people, anger is their favorite phase of grief: it gives you the illusion that you are powerful and can do something about your losses. With COVID-19, a good example of this are all the “Kens” and “Karens” who throw hissy fits when asked to wear a mask in stores and restaurants. It’s easier to get angry than it is to feel sad or scared. You can be angry at Trump, the virus, Dr. Fauci, the governor, the mayor — but underneath anger is always hurt and pain. Eventually, most of us are able to let go of a majority of our anger and feel the losses that COVID-19 has brought to our lives.

DEPRESSION

Depression seems to be where many of us are right now. My practice is full of people who feel depressed about how Trump is mishandling the pandemic, how some people won’t wear masks, how a vaccine seems so far away…you get the drift. Plus, we’re depressed over what we’ve lost: vacations, parties, hugging friends, hooking up…and we feel sad because of everything that we’ve had to give up, for who knows how long. Depression is a natural response to a great loss, however, if it feels overwhelming or you’re having thoughts of suicide, please get professional help.

With bargaining, we think that, somehow, we can make a deal with God (or whomever) to get what we want. One client told me, “Maybe if I eat really well, stay home all the time, meditate and exercise every day, I won’t get COVID-19.” You may think that this sounds like common sense, but, in a way, it’s like “Let’s Make A Deal”: if I do this, almighty universe, will you give me that? If you’ve ever been in a bad situation — pulled over for DUI or something serious like that — you probably said something like, “Please, God, if you get me out of this, I’ll never drink again. I’ll go to an AA meeting tomorrow, I promise.” That’s bargaining.

Acceptance sounds awfully Buddhist, doesn’t it? It’s not the same as feeling good. You can accept the reality of COVID-19 without feeling OK about it. Acceptance sounds more like: “This is the way it is right now. I don’t know how long it will be like this, but this is the situation now.” We learn to live with the COVID-19 situation, as it is, finding new ways to experience joy and happiness, often surprising ourselves.

No matter which of the DABDA stages you’re experiencing, I invite you to slow down and notice. Have compassion for yourself; treat yourself kindly. This, too, shall pass and we can grow and benefit from it.

The Center is here for you during COVID-19, offering Emergency Services: • Emergency Resource & Referral Phone Line • Behavioral Health Services by Zoom Health Care • Individual Program Meetings & Check-Ins via Zoom • Virtual Support Groups • Critical Housing Needs • HIV Testing by Appointment • Food Resources The Center knows that food security is critical to our LGBTQ community, especially during COVID-19. The Center hosts two Food Banks per month to distribute nutritious and healthy food.

Neighborhood Food Distribution

Tuesday, Aug. 4 / 7:30am – 10:30am

BARGAINING

ACCEPTANCE

Senior Food Bank Tuesday, Aug. 25 / 12noon – 3pm

If you need Emergency Services, please call 619.692.2077 x211

The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 www.thecentersd.org

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

COMMUNITY VOICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

Conversations with Nicole Nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

n more than 50 years of Latino and LGBTQ+ activism, I have never seen our community so angry and divided as well as so many friendships and relationships affected. Some activists are being downright hateful and attacking each other. The divide between LGBTQ+ elders/pioneers and the younger generation of LGBTQ+ activists is getting worse. There is a great deal of misunderstanding between the two. I am also witnessing the silence of many who should be speaking out and trying to bring us more together. I have received plenty of private phone calls from community members not wanting to speak out publicly. The issues going on concerning San Diego Pride (Pride), the San Diego LGBT Community Center (The Center), Lambda Archives and the San Diego Police Department (and all of San Diego law enforcement) is about some LGBTQ+ activists trying to show their support for the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement and the Transgender community. First of all, I know that there is not one LGBTQ+ leader or activist not in support of the BLM movement. This is not a movement about decades of racism and prejudice, but rather more than 400 years of it. As for the Transgender community, indeed our LGBTQ+ community and leadership are decades behind in support and focus as the continuing murders of Trans people across this country should have already been declared a “National LGBTQ+ Crisis” by our national LGBTQ+ leadership and organizations. And let me be very blunt: This is also about LGBTQ+ guilt and LGBTQ+ leaders trying to deflect and tokenize. Let me now state my case: The last six San Diego police chiefs and law enforcement have marched

Kamala Harris for vice president!

YOU CAN BE IN SUPPORT

of BLM and SDPD

in our parades and both the chief of police and the county sheriff have LGBTQ+ advisory councils that include Trans and People of Color (POC) as members. Never have the executive directors of Pride or The Center gone to them to voice their concerns. The REAL problem in the LGBTQ+ community of San Diego is that using Black lives and Black Lives Matter movement as a way to sever ties with law enforcement is nothing but tokenism. Look at the staff of The Center and Pride for the last four decades — the lack of Black LGBTQ+ representation is disgraceful. Almost every LGBTQ-owned business in Hillcrest now has Black Lives Matter posters in their windows but how many Black LGBTQ+ people are on their payrolls? Let me be even more blunt: Out of the countless bars and restaurants in

Former San Francisco Board of Supervisors member Bevan Dufty first introduced me to Senator Kamala Harris when she was a candidate for district attorney in San Francisco. In the decades since, she has never changed. She is down to earth, has a great sense of humor, smart as a whip, an amazing speech giver, and most importantly, she is a champion for the equality of all people. I firmly believe she is the most qualified candidate to become Biden’s running mate and would absolutely electrify the ticket! She would make an outstanding vice president and future president. Let’s make history with Harris!!

our community, how many have Black employees? Can you recall the last time you ordered a drink from a Black bartender? How many Black LGBTQ+ community members are in our numerous LGBTQ+ organizations? So instead of focusing INSIDE our own LGBTQ+ community and its organizations, some have focused on the OUTSIDE of our community and tried to deflect the racism and tokenism/ lip service that has been going on for decades within our community. The decades of hard work and relationship-building with the San Diego Police Department (and other law enforcement agencies that also now include LGBTQ+ officers) are being ignored and dismissed. There is absolutely a need for continued change and evolution in the San Diego Police Department and County Sheriff’s Department and these changes are in fact happening, even more so as we have both a police chief and county sheriff who are 100% committed. Renowned international historian and author Dr. Lillian Faderman is one of the most acclaimed and respected LGBTQ+ figures in the world. Following Lillian’s resignation on July 23 as San Diego Lambda Archives’ historianin-resident over their anti-law enforcement stance, the Archives’ reinforced their bias by their very weak response. It is well known that some Lambda Archives board members are ANTIPOLICE and have been very public about their hatred toward law enforcement. Please read Lillian’s letter in this issue. I ABSOLUTELY stand with Lillian Faderman. When I tried to get the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s executive director to speak to some concerned community leaders, she texted me back saying “she would speak to them but her stand was not going to change at all.” Is this dialogue and/or listening to our community? San Diego Pride and the San Diego

LGBT Community Center are now discriminating against our own LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters who are in law enforcement. This issue is not going away and I have been told about certain LGBTQ+ activists who will be launching a very public and professional campaign concerning Pride and The Center’s bias against law enforcement with sponsors in and outside of our community. As for me, I am the first to admit I do not completely understand some of the changes in our community; the Queer movement, proper pronoun usage in today’s climate, changing of the rainbow flag colors, etc. But I assure you, I am trying my best. I absolutely need to listen more to our younger generation of LGBTQ+ activists and have more of an open dialogue with them, but in turn, they should understand more about our community’s history and respect the decades of activism and hard work done by all of the many LGBTQ+ elders/pioneers. My 50-year record of activism and leadership when it comes to my fellow People of Color and the Transsexual/ Transgender community is clear and solid and is a matter of fact not fiction as some young LGBTQ+ activists are trying to portray. I have been beaten by law enforcement both in Los Angeles and San Diego. I have been called “wetback, greaser, spic, faggot, queen, a he/she, freak, etc.” And yes, I can, and am, a supporter of Black Lives Matter as well as our local law enforcement — and a vast majority of our LGBTQ+ community are dually supportive too. My message to The Center, Pride, and the Lambda Archives is to stop pointing fingers at others and look into our own LGBTQ+ community and focus on the racism and discrimination within our very own organizations and businesses. Don’t just march and say “Black Lives Matter,” start making it a reality within our own community.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

COMMUNITY VOICES

RESIGNATION OF LAMBDA ARCHIVES HISTORIAN-IN-RESIDENCE,

LILLIAN FADERMAN To: Nicole Verdes Chair, Lambda Archives Board of Directors Dear Nicole, It pains me to write this letter because I have enjoyed being Lambda Archives’ Historian-in-Residence, and I have valued the friendship that Phyllis and I have had with you and Megan. But I am resigning my position with Lambda because I cannot condone Lambda’s decisions with regard to who may use the Archives and benefit from the Archives’ materials. As you know, I was very concerned when I learned that Lambda had pulled all its materials from the San Diego History Center for the LGBTQ+ exhibit that I curated while I was Lambda’s Historian-in-Residence. I was not informed by Lambda of the move to pull the materials, and I learned of it only by chance. You told me when I asked you about it that Lambda objected to SDHC’s offering exhibit tours, in cooperation with the Sheriff’s Department, in order to educate deputy sheriffs about our LGBTQ community. Lambda’s position made no sense to me, as I responded. It seemed to me that the sheriffs’ willingness to be educated about our community was a healthy step, and that Lambda should celebrate it. Why in the world would an LGBTQ archive want to deny police that education? The officers who want to be educated are not the goons who are gratuitously choking the life out of people like George Floyd. Those types care nothing about the history of our community; they deny us the dignity of a history; they want the freedom of their ignorance so they can victimize us and other minorities. But those are not the officers who have been willing to come through the LGBTQ+ exhibit to learn. To make no distinction between them is unjust. I was relieved, however, when Lambda acceded to my request to permit SDHC to keep the few remaining items that are crucial to the exhibit—though I continued to be puzzled when you told me that Lambda did not want the History Center to use its name in programming. One of the things that delighted me most about Lambda’s participation in this major exhibit is that our little archive was getting more positive attention than it had ever gotten. I could not understand why Lambda would want to put an end to that. Yet despite my deep concern over Lambda’s puzzling moves with regard to SDHC, I had decided that I would continue as Historian-inResidence because of my attachment to the Archives and my friendship with you, Nicole. But what I have now learned about Lambda’s treatment of Officer Christine Garcia leads me to believe that it is impossible for me to continue. My understanding, after investigating as thoroughly as I could, is that Officer Garcia (a woman who transitioned while serving as a police officer, with the complete support of the SDPD) contacted Lambda Archives in the spring to ask for help in finding materials and curating an exhibit during Pride Month for the San Diego Police Department. The purpose of her exhibit would have been to show the history of SDPD discrimination against our community and the steps the SDPD has taken to improve. She believed that showing how positive change came about would help to change the hearts and minds of any officers now serving who are recalcitrant. It seems to me that that is an excellent goal that touches on (what should be) one of Lambda’s top priorities: to educate the ignorant, to give them knowledge that will end their prejudice. It is also consonant with Lambda’s expressly stated purpose: “to share the history” of our community. But I understand that you or the board objected to that being done, that the response was that Lambda should not invest staff time and resources to fulfill such a request. I cannot imagine where else the “resources” that Officer Garcia needed were at that time required; I know Lambda has few requests for the material she would have borrowed. I also cannot imagine why I—as Lambda’s Historian-in-Residence--was not called upon to help her curate her exhibit, as I would very gladly have done, and which would not have taken time from the paid staff. I understand that Officer Garcia was not able to mount the exhibit because of Lambda’s obstructionism. Nicole, Lambda is a community archive. It does not belong to you or to the board. As a public institution—taking public funds—it must be there to serve the public. Christine Garcia is part of the public. Moreover, as a transwoman she is part of the LGBTQ community; and she had wanted to use Lambda materials to educate those who are ignorant—which is one of the best uses imaginable for the materials of Lambda Archives. I find that Lambda has behaved toward Officer Garcia in a way that is not only unconscionable but also against its stated purpose. Therefore, please accept my resignation. Lillian

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

LETTER TO SAN DIEGO LGBT PRIDE AND THE SAN DIEGO LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER FROM

CHRIS SHAW

Dear Ian & Cara, While I understand you and the board making this decision, I totally disagree with the stand you are taking. The LGBTQ+ community has spent decades fighting for equal rights while taking a stand against police brutality and we have made some major strides in our community. We now have (or had) seats at the table with the Mayor’s Office, the City Council and the Police Department. We have worked with all departments of our city on diversification, equality and extensive LGBTQ+ training. We have been committed to creating change within the city and law enforcement for the LGBTQ+ community as well as all communities we serve. The actions of San Diego Pride and The San Diego LGBT Community Center have sent our cause backward and will take many years to recover from. Asking the San Diego Police Department not to attend our events or be in OUR Community Center is WRONG. It wasn’t that long ago that the San Diego Police Department refused a Gay person on their police force let alone a Transgender police officer. Look at the force now, it’s diversified and educated in LGBTQ+ causes. This is a time that all communities should come together with the Police Department and create POWERFUL lasting change, not tear down everything we have built over the years. Sincerely, Chris Shaw

LETTER TO THE SAN DIEGO LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER FROM FORMER BOARD CHAIR

BRIAN BAZINET

To The San Diego LGBT Community Center, As a past Board Chair of The Center and a community member of San Diego for 22 years I have never been so embarrassed after hearing your decision to ban uniformed police officers from the building and events! It is great to stand with Black Lives Matter, but to ban police officers in uniform is so wrong! San Diego Police support the community and The Center. The Center is about inclusion and belonging not excluding people! Please rethink this decision. Focus on the issues, not “all’ police officers. What are you going to do if you need their help? Have the police send their thoughts and prayers? Ask them to go home and change clothes before coming to assist in an emergency? San Diego Board, please fix this message ASAP! Brian Bazinet

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COMMUNITY VOICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

BIG MIKE AND FRIENDS Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

o many of us have moved to San Diego from other parts of the country and even the world. It is not uncommon to have those serving in the military just stay or come back to San Diego to live after they have been stationed here. There is also a large selection of colleges to choose from and with some of the best weather anywhere, younger people tend to want to be near the beach. And then there are those who are looking for a new adventure in their lives and just want a change and take that chance of moving and living here. I remember moving here 31 years ago come Aug. 18, 2020, and not knowing anyone here except my best friend Tino Graziano. Coming from San Antonio, Texas, where everyone knew who Big Mike was, to moving to San Diego and becoming just another face in the crowd, was scary and exciting at the same time, but a decision that has become one of the best things I have ever done. With that, I always like to welcome and encourage those who I meet that are new to San Diego, in hopes they will love living here as well. One of the best parts about San Diego are the people. I like to live by example and treat people well that are now living in San Diego so they have the same great experience that I have had living here in paradise. One such person is my new handsome, talented, and fun friend Brandon Allen. Anyone who really knows me, knows I love art and have always enjoyed supporting local artists. One of my favorite places I love to go visit is The Studio Door Art Gallery in Hillcrest owned by Patric Stillman, who himself is an incredible artist. I had stopped by just to check out the new art for Pride week and to say hello to Patric, but he happened to not be there that day. Instead, I was greeted by a new face, Brandon, who kindly welcomed me into the studio. Right away, I started asking him a million questions about who he was and what had brought him to San Diego; he was so fun and approachable, we just hit it off right away. While there, Brandon explained his amazing and highly creative work, of which I just fell in love with. I have found a new artist to add to my already incredible list to share with the world. Brandon grew up on a cattle farm in Parkersburg, West Virginia. He told me he has memories when he was little of getting eggs right from under the chickens in the barn and tending to a lot of cows. Growing up in a part of the country that has all four seasons made life so much more enjoyable, especially in the fall when all the trees change colors. It was his favorite time of the year, with the weather allowing him to hike, enjoy the beauty of the clear night sky, water ski and even go whitewater rafting. The Rocky Mountains of West Virginia are beautiful. However, some people from that area tend to have different “values and mind sets” than Brandon does. Brandon knew he would be better off reaching his full potential in a more eclectic and energetic city where he could grow into his proudest Gay self! In 2011, he moved to South Beach, Miami. Brandon had been there on vacation and knew with all the acceptance of Gays and just overall culture, it was where he wanted to be.

BRANDON ALLEN

Brandon and a friend both started working for some nonprofits. They started by creating a new website called (h2i) “how to improve.” I personally love this name and idea. Their concept was simple: they tried to find ways to help improve cities after a disaster and assist communities who need help. A videographer would follow them both around, capturing moments of them doing work for the greater good. After the videos were edited, they would purchase music from Europe to add to the videos as they sold various items online (Bluetooth speakers, mesh backpacks, water bottles, etc.) with the proceeds going to the nonprofit companies they collaborated with. It was great but like any grassroots organization, it was exceedingly difficult to get funding. After putting about a year of work into it, Brandon’s partner went back to work in the medical field. Brandon needed to find work, so he began bartending at a local Gay bar called MOVA, with no experience at all. The owner gave him a chance and apparently, he nailed it. He danced on top of speakers and poured shots all night till the sun came up and then slept it off on the beach. This lasted for three years; the late nights, long hours and lifestyle in a vacation destination was awesome (during his early 20s) but nightlife was creating a lot of bad habits for him. He was suppressing his feelings in an unhealthy way. Brandon eventually reached a point where he realized his real pain was coming from his alcohol and drug addiction, which was ultimately tearing him, and most importantly, his friend-

ships apart. Realizing he needed to make a positive change in his life, Brandon left the world of drug and alcohol consumption and stopped bartending. He challenged himself to open a small interior design business. He found himself using his creativity by working on rental properties that basically worked with aesthetics rather than any demolition. He had found a profession he really enjoyed and was creating art on the side for some of his clients. Using his imagination, he started to get creative by using different images online to paint. Brandon told me he was not the best at painting, but he came up with a few things by using different materials that really worked toward developing his own style — one that allows him to be different and stand out from other artists. Creating art helped him come to terms with his own personal demons and doubts in his life, and excited Brandon, who seemed to come alive as an artist. In his own words, he describes his work: “I consider myself a conceptual artist who uses a mixed media with my niche being old period frames telling a story with textured fabrics on canvas and neon lighting. The intention is to draw you in, hold your attention for a moment and encourage you to laugh. With a variety of dark colors, the art has a somewhat provocative feel. None of it will be replicated. Each piece is carefully thought out and uniquely created from internal inspiration. I think the art is timeless, invoking a feeling of sexuality and

confidence. It attracts all interests and is intended to be eclectic … I especially love sitting down with someone and picking their brain for a personalized piece of art.” Brandon’s biggest wish is that they laugh or, at the very least, smile at the results. Getting a big break in his life, Brandon signed with a store to sell his art in Wynwood, a Miami neighborhood home to art galleries. In his heart, he finally felt so accomplished as an artist and completed what he felt was a successful five years in Miami that he decided to head to the West Coast. He moved to Palm Springs in 2017 for a short while and planned to relocate to Los Angeles. After visiting San Diego a couple of times, he decided it’d be best for him to live here instead, and he arrived in November 2019. Brandon is a man of many skills; he is also a certified personal trainer and specialist in fitness nutrition. He loves doing anything active and he tries to always stay motivated. If he’s not being physically active, then he loves to explore new places, finding inspiration for new art. Traveling is his true passion. Brandon says he has been so blessed to have been so many places. He counts his blessings every day for the things he already has. Brandon loves to give back to his community — his love for dogs and other animals gives him so much joy that he has volunteered at the Humane Society since he was in high school. He has run marathons for the Red Cross and for Alzheimer’s, any excuse to exercise for a good cause, you can count on Brandon. Every Thanksgiving, he would volunteer at the Salvation Army; he is so thankful for what he has that he loves sharing what he can, especially kindness with others. Brandon is recently single but not accepting applications at this time (haha). He has been focused on making good connections and becoming friends with people in his new community. You can find Brandon’s artwork on display at The Studio Door Gallery in Hillcrest (3867 Fourth Ave. San Diego, CA 92103) and he is working on a website that is currently under construction. Please follow Brandon’s Instagram page @ PoshPadz_Design.

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LGBTQSD.NEWS

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

Page from “Dirtheads”

TARA MADISON AVERY

CREATING A MORE ACCURATE REPRESENTATION IN THE WORLD OF COMICS By Cesar A Reyes

hen we see the words “comic book,” we think of superheroes or big blockbuster studio movies but for some of us LGBTQ+ geeks, we also think of representation and the hopes to have stories that reflect our lives. That’s where Prism Comics comes in — a nonprofit organization that promotes awareness to LGBTQ+ creators of releasing stories and art that accurately represent the big spectrum of our community. We had the pleasure of talking with cartoonist, editor and publisher Tara Madison Avery about her journey in the comic industry and the importance of creating accurate LGBTQ+ comics for young audiences to see themselves reflected. CAR: Tell us about yourself. Who is Tara Madison Avery? TMA: I am cartoonist, publisher, and LGBTQAIU activist. As a cartoonist, I’m mostly known for my webcomics “Dirtheads” and the bisexual-themed “Gooch.” My publishing imprint, Stacked Deck Press (SDP), focuses on comics and coloring books of LGBTQAIU interest. SDP has published works as diverse as “We’re Still Here,” the world’s first all-Transgender comics anthology, for which we were fortunate enough to win an Ignatz Award, and “Resistance: The LGBT Fight Against Fascism in WWII,” a biography collection featuring Queer activists and freedom fighters from the ’30s and ’40s replete with coloring book-style images of each subject. I am a Prism Comics board member, and I am a former chair of the Los Angeles Bi Task Force. CAR: What comic books did you grow up reading? TMA: Early on, I got my brother’s hand-me-down Marvel and DC comics from the early ’70s. The Lee-

comics, and Eurocomics, changing my perspective on comics entirely. “Love & Rockets” and “Krazy Kat,” among many others, led me to see new possibilities in comics. CAR: How old were you when you discovered you loved creating? TMA: I always drew comic characters as a kid. I used to fill the margins of the church program with pencil scribbles of superheroes while sitting in the pews on Sunday morning. I would fill spiral notebooks with crude stories about my fave superhero characters when I was in kindergarten. It just seemed like fun and a way to participate in stories I enjoyed.

Tara Madison Avery

Kirby “Fantastic Four” reprints were my early favorites. Later, I was completely absorbed by “Peanuts” reprints and Mad Magazine. In my tweens, I dove back into superhero comics with Wolfman and Perez’s “The New Teen Titans” being my absolute fave book. I took my name from the character Terra, or Tara Markov, the unglamorous, flat-chested, bucktoothed, slightly younger Titan. (Of course, she turned out to be a sociopathic villain, but the name stuck in my head.) Then, in my teens, I discovered indie comics, classic American newspaper

CAR: How old were you when you realized that this passion was also a career? TMA: The realization that, hey, people actually make these things and do it as a job, didn’t really hit me until I was 12 or so. I decided then I wanted to be a comic artist and took my first stabs at making original comics all my own. I started out with jokey superhero characters then moved on to other things as I got into my teens. Not long after that, I aimed to make it my career. CAR: What was your big break into the comic book industry? TMA: I haven’t had it yet. Seriously, I have been publishing comics off and on since the early ’90s when I started doing strips for an indie music newspaper in Lawrence, Kansas. They never paid me what they owed me, then they folded. While I Tara Madison Avery continues on Page 12

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LGBTQSD.NEWS

Tara Madison Avery continued from Page 11 continued to create and get my work published here and there, I didn’t come to publish comics myself until about five years ago. I was on the board of Prism Comics at the time, and we had decided to publish an anthology to pay tribute to the organization’s Queer Press Grant. The publisher who initially pledged to take on the project for us dropped out unexpectedly. I told the Prism board that I’d start a small publishing company and carry the project to completion. Thus Stacked Deck Press was born.

San Diego Comic Con Panel

CAR: Being a LGBTQ+ creator, you have produced work for our community. Why is it important to have our lives reflected in comic books? TMA: I think the two most important reasons are representation and accuracy. First, LGBTQAIU readers, especially young readers, need to see characters that reflect their identities in media to know that there are other people like them out there. They come to learn that they’re not broken or sick simply because of orientation or gender identity and that there are others like them out there who live and thrive. Second, having Queer creators portray Queer characters gives us the chance to control the narrative and overcome media misconceptions of who we are that can run the gamut from confused and shallow to outright hostile. Also, if there is any career or financial benefit to be drawn from portraying Queer characters in popular media, Queer creators should be entitled to their fair share of it. CAR: Trans and gender-fluid is a section of our community that is still not fully represented out in the comic book world. But there is work out there. Where would you direct a reader who wants to see stories that share the Trans and gender-fluid experience? TMA: I hope to get a new print run of “We’re Still Here” to press sometime next year, so there’s some place to start. Other great books out there and available right now are “Gender Queer” by Maia Kobabe, “Transposes” by Dylan Edwards, and “The Prince and the Dressmaker” by Jen Wang. That’s just scratching the surface. There’s so much out there these days, especially in the independent press, but also from major traditional publishers whose previous experience was mostly with prose. CAR: What new projects are you working on? TMA: In addition to working on some of my own comics stories, I am wrapping up the anthology “Crush: First Love, New Talent,” a collaboration with Prism Comics and the city of West Hollywood. Other upcoming publications will include a fourth volume of Gillian Cameron’s “Calogrenant,” our all-ages series about a Transgender knight of the Round Table, and the “Polyamory Coloring and Activity Book” for those of you who are interested in poly but maybe don’t have the instructions handy. There are a couple other projects in the queue as well.

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Page from “ALPHABET”

Cover by Hayden Harwood

CAR: With the pandemic happening, what have you been up to? TMA: When the pandemic hit, I was absorbed with some longstanding family issues. It’s been just in recent weeks that I’ve been able to focus on comics again. Doing some drawing and writing of my own and learning to do new things with the Adobe Creative Suite while hiding out in my coronabunker. I have really missed seeing friends and making connections at comic conventions this year, not to mention having missed the financial boon of selling and promoting the books. I’m looking for new ways for me to get books in front of readers’ eyes to make up for it. CAR: Comic-Con went virtual — how can your fans stay in touch with you and get your latest creations? TMA: Find me at stackeddeckpress.com, and stay tuned for revamped Facebook, Twitter and Instagram presences. You can find our LGBTQAIU historical coloring book series, “Calogrenant,” on Amazon. CAR: How do you stay motivated to create during these trying times we live in? TMA: I’ve always had more ideas for projects than time and resources to pull them off. I figure I’ve got to get some of the best ones put together before impending decrepitude wears me down. The threat of COVID-19 just makes that realization more urgent, I suppose. Thank you

Cover by Jon Macy

Cover by Bishakh Som

You can connect with Tara on social media: Instagra: @taramavery Facebook: TaraMadisonAvery

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ENTERTIANMENT/PUZZLE

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

Q Puzzle

SNOWFLAKE

A NEW FICTIONAL FILM THAT DRAMATIZES MODERN DAY POLITICAL DIVIDES IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY A NEW CRIME FIGHTER IN TOWN

nowflake, a new film that evokes the sense friend who lived through the AIDS crisis. He of panic half of America experienced in urges for activism, reminding Ethan that prog2016 when the presidential election was called ress has never been linear but more of a pendufor Donald Trump, started streaming on Vimeo lum. (clip: https://youtu.be/skc-nP91vg8) on August 4, the ten-year anniversary of the The movie reaches its climax when happenhistoric overturn of California’s ban on same-sex stance—or divine intervention—puts the Vice marriage. “The repeal of Prop 8 is a reminder President and Ethan in the same room at a funof the importance of citizens fighting for our draising event and Ethan is forced to choose the rights,” says the film’s writer and director, Jack best way to protect his friends and community Tracy. “This November will be the most confrom the threat of the new administration. sequential election any of us Michael Warren Anderson have ever voted in, and we plays Vice President Andrew must all do our part to put an Price and Claire Kennedy end to the nightmare that has plays his wife. (clip: https:// been the last four years under youtu.be/JhR32DgZcX4) Ella this administration.” Mora rounds out the princiSnowflake is a fictional pal cast as a conservative TV story that depicts the fear of personality and Connor Louna nation when a dictatorial sbury plays the gay public politician is suddenly thrust relations aid to Price. into the White House. While Following its August release most of the characters in the on Vimeo, Snowflake will be film are gay, Snowflake shows available on Amazon on Sephow their other identities tember 4 (honoring the day in age, race, and their economic 2012 when same-sex marriage status - shape their individual was publicly supported on a views. national platform at the DemoAt the center is Ethan, cratic National Convention) played by JJ Bozeman, a and then begin streaming on young Filipino gay man whose Dekoo on October 27. fear of the new administra“While I am overjoyed that tion’s threatened rollbacks on the nation is finally begingay civil rights hits a fever ning to grapple with the hard pitch. Ethan’s increasing pantruths of systemic racism ic ultimately causes friction and police brutality, it is still with his friends, specifically shocking to me just how much when Ethan boldly proclaims we as a nation have numbed to that he feels no pity for the the outrageous fraud and corvictims of a recent mass shootruption of the Trump admining at a gathering of conservaistration,” reflects Jack Tracy. tives, calling it karma. “I’m “It has been normalized. I tired of always being afraid, hope when people watch Snowlet them be afraid for once,” he flake, the emotional spiral that tells his friends. (clip: https:// Jack Tracy is Writer, Director and Actor (courtesy image) I and so many other Ameriyoutu.be/YxYM_w3MGWQ) cans felt in the days following Ethan’s friend Owen, a black Trump’s election will resurface man in his early thirties played by Matthew and a new fire will be lit. We need a massive Johnson Harris, believes that racism lies at the turnout in 2020 that gets our current president heart of the shocking election, and questions the hell out of office, keeps the House of Reprehow much Ethan’s boyfriend Ryan, a white, sentatives and puts the Senate in democratic gay but hetero-passable executive, played by control.” Jack Tracy, would sacrifice for his community. He argues that a “rich, white dude is not going Snowflake is available for pre-order now to protest a system that benefits him.” at https://vimeo.com/ondemand/snowflakefilm. (clip: https://youtu.be/qyt4Kvth7KA) Visit http://necessaryoutlet.com. Paul, played by Bill Morton, is an older gay

ACROSS 1 He doesn’t sleep with women 6 Opera villain, typically 10 Pole of your first mate? 14 Bass formerly of NSYNC 15 Like a top 16 Curtain-raising time 17 Not at all cool 18 Palindromic male name 19 Boat bottom 20 With 21-Across, TV series of Javicia Leslie 21 See 20-Across 23 Layer beneath two plastic brides 25 Goes out with 26 Unsophisticated 30 Tee Corinne pics, e.g. 34 MPG monitor 35 Use for a bed 37 Maupin story of the city 38 Mel of Giants fame 39 With 55-Across, 2019 film of Javicia Leslie 42 Stole upon the stage 43 Not even once, to Whitman 45 Ready for bed 46 Duvall played her in _Popeye_ 47 Cleverly skillful 50 Shipboard personnel 52 Samurai’s continent 54 Frolicking run 55 See 39-Across 60 Prefix with “woman” in an upcoming role for Javicia Leslie 62 _Modern Family_ adoptee 63 Express love manually, perhaps 64 Claire Morgan, to Patricia Highsmith 66 Vaulted church area 67 Objectifies, sexually 68 Gay men’s lifestyle magazine 69 Noise of the lambs 70 Petrol station choice 71 Bean of _Normal, Ohio_

DOWN 1 Kind of shot 2 Initiated phone sex 3 Like couples who bathe together? 4 Like sour fruits 5 Muscle Mary’s weight training unit 6 Crude dude 7 “No” voter 8 Gay.com, and others 9 Balls 10 Reaches the top 11 Passed with flying colors 12 Pansy supporter 13 Scrabble Q, for example 21 Easily damaged 22 NYPD rank 24 Anne Hathaway’s “enchanted” role 26 Former hotelier Helmsley 27 Quit, with “out” 28 Makes costumes, e.g. 29 _The L Word_, and others 31 Symptom of being a breeder? 32 Andrew ___ Webber 33 Elite Navy divers 36 Nureyev’s refusal 40 Mortimer, with a wooden head 41 Words used in setting the tempo 44 Some of Melissa Etheridge’s crew 48 Sussex suffix 49 Poor trick rag 51 One who comes slowly 53 Cockeyed 55 Use your mouth unfaithfully 56 Cohost Kelly 57 Rick’s old flame 58 Is unlike Dorian Gray 59 ___ many words 61 Source of poi 64 Sixth word of Abe’s address 65 T. Baldwin’s title

Solutions on page 16 QSyndicate.com

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

PUBLIC SERVICE

CITY ATTORNEY NEWS Mara W. Elliott —Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

hild abduction is one of the scariest byproducts of troubled relationships, inflicting unnecessary trauma on youngsters and often imperiling their lives. When my Office has a chance to track down missing children and bring them home, we make it our highest priority. As a safe place for domestic violence victims, the San Diego Family Justice Center (FJC) has significant experience working with parents whose children are abducted. In these complex and frightening cases, the abuser takes the child to exert power and control over their partner, often a custodial parent tormented with the thought of never seeing the children again. Every hour is agony.

WHEN A CHILD IS ABDUCTED BY A PARENT,

FEAR AND TRAUMA LINGER

In two recent cases, the FJC worked with local, state, and federal authorities to track down missing children and bring them home. In the first case, a woman came to the FJC to seek help after being attacked and assaulted by her husband. The abuse had been going on for years. Her second visit to the FJC was to meet an attorney for legal assistance. While there, she learned that her then-estranged husband had abducted their young children. She feared he planned to remove them from the country. In these types of cases, FJC staff works with the San Diego Police Department, District Attorney’s Child Abduction Unit, Child Welfare Services, the U.S. State Department, law enforcement from other

PRIVATIZING JAIL MEDICAL SERVICE IS BAD FOR CARE, EMPLOYEES AND INCARCERATED INDIVIDUALS

SUP. FLETCHER, MENTAL HEALTH EXPERTS, AND RESTORATIVE JUSTICE ADVOCATES PUSH BACK AGAINST SHERIFF PROPOSAL

n August 3rd, Supervisor Nathan Fletcher together with mental health experts, county workers and restorative justice advocates announced a proposal to examine having the County’s Health and Human Services Agency administer medical and behavioral health services in jails; and prevent the San Diego County Sheriff from privatizing services. They also launched a petition called “Stop the Sheriff from Outsourcing Medical and Mental Health Services”. “Outsourcing all medical services to a private contractor has the potential to worsen the existing system of care, threaten county jobs and further exacerbate bad outcomes for incarcerated individuals,” said Supervisor Fletcher. “Instead, we need a system of care driven by providing the appropriate care and preparation for release and reintegration into society. Not a system designed to limit care to maximize profit.” Today the Sheriff’s Department operates a hybrid system of private contractors and county workers. The problem with this system has produced jail suicide rates five times higher than the state prison system and the high death rates among California’s jail systems. “We have been given a sneak preview of the outcome of profitizing care in jails and laying off county workers, and it is

grim. The Sheriff has failed to meaningfully address his abhorrent record concerning the deaths in our local jails, and now he is putting forward a proposal that will exacerbate the loss of lives even further,” said Geneviéve Jones-Wright, Executive Director, Community Advocates for Just and Moral Governance (MOGO) “As a Community, we have been talking about a reimagining of the role of law enforcement and the need to move to a better and more holistic approach to how we provide care and respond to our community members. Sheriff Gore’s proposal is out of step with community standards of human decency, while Supervisor Fletcher’s proposal presents an avenue that will ensure a coordinated restorative healthcare model inside our jails and the continuity of care with County and community-based providers upon release.” Workers in the jails indicate the reporting structures are disjointed and the lack of integration can lead to mistakes. Medical and mental health clinicians working inside County detention facilities are not put in a best to carry out their daily duties. “Front-line healthcare workers in the Sheriff’s Department are risking their lives during the COVID-19 pandemic and being forced to work mandatory overtime. How does Sheriff Gore propose to

LGBTQSD.NEWS

regions, Homeland Security, Border Patrol, Transportation Security Administration, and National Child Abduction Registries to find the children. In the above case, through a massive coordinated effort, the children were found safe and reunited with their mother. The second case happened early in the pandemic, when a woman contacted the FJC for help to obtain a restraining order. Shortly afterward, her child was abducted. Again, we worked with a network of local and state agencies in a multipleweek-long effort to locate the child and bring the child home safely. Nothing is more gratifying than reuniting a parent and child. During the terrifying time when a child is missing and the outcome is uncertain, the FJC staff helps the custodial parent navigate the confusing maze of law enforcement agencies, supporting them through the ordeal of having to repeat painful stories numerous times. And our work does not end with the reunification of children with their rightful parent. The FJC helps out by offering financial and legal assistance, finding a safe place for them to live, and more. Most importantly, we provide counseling that both the mothers and children need to help them overcome the lingering fear and trauma from

thank these employees? “Sheriff Gore’s plan is to sell out their jobs to for-profit companies that provide substandard care and force the public to pick up their bill for lawsuit and settlement costs. Sheriff Gore is proposing this plan despite having the highest inmate death rate of large counties in the state. This is insulting to the workers we represent and the hard work they do for patient care,” said David Garcias, President SEIU Local 221. Evidence has shown there is a nexus between inadequate care and the lack of discharge planning by private administrators, which can lead to the “same individuals cycling unnecessarily between locked psychiatric facilities, jail and homelessness. “San Diegans need to ensure there is quality mental health care for those who are incarcerated, with an understanding they will be returning to our communities,” said Daphyne Watson, MSW, Executive Director of Mental Health America San Diego. “All too often our jails and prisons have become de facto psychiatric facilities of which they are ill prepared. Treatment is something which needs to be started while incarceration and continued upon release. We need to ensure a continuity of care, availably, comprehensive treatment care to address the needs of individuals. Mental illness needs to be treated as an illness and we can care for these individuals in a humane way.” Counties in California such as Alameda and Santa Barbara that have contracted their medical services in detention facilities are embroiled in lawsuits, and are having to rebuild their medical and mental health care programs after investing significant taxpayer dollars in private contractors. “San Diego taxpayers are paying close to $68,000 per bed. During COVID our jail population has decreased by about 1900, while violent and property crime in the county have significantly decreased,” Laila Aziz, Director of Operations, Pillars of the Community. “It’s time to close

the abduction. For the best possible outcome, we rely on our community partners, including Free to Thrive, Center for Hope and Strength, the San Diego Center for Counseling, the Family Resource Center, and the District Attorney’s Victim Advocates. As the isolation due to the pandemic drags on, victims of domestic violence remain at risk. Many are trapped at home with their abusers. Job loss, economic uncertainty, illness, and fear of illness add to already-stressful home situations. We worry about victims who may not be able to leave the house or make a phone call without being overheard. Domestic violence may be harder for others to see during this pandemic, but the calls the FJC is receiving are even more urgent. Our office remains committed to looking out for the welfare of the most vulnerable in our communities, especially families enduring violence at home. If you or someone you know is experiencing violence at the hands of an intimate partner, please know that the FJC and City Attorney’s Office are still here for you. Please call the FJC at (619) 533-6000 during business hours, or the crisis hotline at (888) 385-4657 after hours. We are ready to listen and we are ready to help.

down facilities like George Bailey whose capacity is almost 1900 and invest this cost savings of 129-millon per year into evidence based best practices that save lives and prevent people from entering the jail system.” Malcolme Morgan, who also participated in today’s press conference, is an organizer with Pillars of the Community. He has personal experience with a private jail system, and sees the proposal to privatize medical services in jails as a problem. THE PROPOSAL On Tuesday, the Board of Supervisors is being asked by Supervisor Fletcher and those who support his proposal, for there to be more options to choose from, instead of just proceeding with privatization. An approval of the Supervisor’s policy will: 1.Halt all actions related to outsourcing all jail medical until we receive an evaluation of the HHSA version. 2.Evaluate the feasibility of our Health and Human Services Agency administering medical and behavioral health services at detention centers and return to the Board within 180 days with the evaluation. THE DECISION “Disappointing Decision to allow Sheriff to Proceed with Privatization Efforts at County Detention Facilities” “It is very disappointing we haven’t learned from the failures of other jurisdictions that have outsourced healthcare for incarcerated individuals to private, for-profit entities. My approach to pause outsourcing while exploring a different approach that holds great promise for better health outcomes for the incarcerated and better value to the taxpayers was soundly rejected. Instead we doubled down on an approach that I believe will exacerbate the current and well-documented challenges in our county jails and put the jobs of our hardworking county workers at risk. Ultimately this is the Sheriff’s decision and he is clear on the path he is taking our county.” – Supervisor Fletcher, August 4, 2020

COURT NEWS

LGBTQSD.NEWS

espite a nationwide pandemic, a New York man discovered the coronavirus outbreak did not stop his extradition to San Diego to face a murder charge in the death of a gay man killed 45 years ago Dennis James Lepage, now 63, was extradited recently for the Dec. 31, 1975, slaying of Alvaro Marquez Espeleta, 28. Lepage was first arrested Jan. 24, 2020, in Troy, New York and extradition proceedings lasted less than five months. Advances in DNA and fingerprint analysis were credited for Lepage’s arrest. Lepage’s DNA was found on a bloody towel in Espeleta’s apartment in the 3200 block of Reynard Way. His palm print was found on the sink and bathroom door, according to an arrest warrant declaration. Lepage, appearing on a video screen from jail, pleaded not guilty before San Diego Superior Court Judge Peter Deddeh. The prosecutor and defense attorney also appeared remotely on screens because the courthouse is mostly closed due to the coronavirus outbreak. Audio at the arraignment was livestreamed on a YouTube channel on the Superior Court’s website, which showed that 21 listeners had logged in to hear it. Some of the listeners could

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

Dennis James Lepage (Center)

DNA LEADS TO CHARGES AND EXTRADITION OF NY MAN TO SAN DIEGO FOR THE 45-YEAR-OLD MURDER OF ALVARO MARQUEZ ESPELETA By Neal Putnam have been Lepage’s family, as two of his grandchildren appeared in a New York courtroom audience after his arrest, according to The Union Journal, a New York newspaper which published a photo of him leaning on a cane. No argument was made for bail, so Deddeh ruled “bail remains set at no bail.” Lepage’s attorney waived his right to have a bail review for now. Espeleta, whose nude

body was found on his bed, was a Navy dental technician. Lepage, who was also in the Navy, was 18 years old at the time. He enlisted at age 17, according to court documents. Espeleta was strangled and suffered blunt force trauma. He was not a smoker, but cigarette butts were found in his apartment and preserved as evidence along with other items, according to court records.

judge ordered Tommy Wayne Zupner to stand trial for murder July 27 in the death of his husband, Blake Synowski, who died from asphyxia when he was force-fed matzo crackers and water. The audio in the two-day preliminary hearing in El Cajon Superior Court was livestreamed on the court’s YouTube channel with 25 people listening in. Synowski, 62, was an El Cajon dentist but had been ill for a while and had a history of falls, according to Zupner’s attorney, Paul Pfingst. He died Sept. 17, 2019, in the couple’s Rancho San Diego home. Zupner, 65, appeared remotely from a room at the Vista Detention Facility. Pfingst, who is a former district attorney, and prosecutor Meredith Pro also appeared remotely. The courts have been mostly closed due to the spread of COVID-19. Pfingst asked Judge Robert Amador to drastically lower his $2 million bail. “He’s been sitting in jail and is at high risk for COVID-19,” said Pfingst. “He has a viable defense. He’s not at risk to the public.” Pfingst said jury trials will likely not happen until next year because of the coronavirus outbreak. Pro opposed the motion, but Amador reduced the bail to $250,000. Pfingst said the murder charge is the wrong offense and at most his client is guilty of involuntary manslaughter because he said the death was accidental. Pro told Amador she would be seeking a second-degree murder conviction, which carries a penalty of 15 years to life in prison. The couple were together for 11 years. Synowski’s obituary said he helped found a dental clinic in Hillcrest for people with HIV. “We all know that breathing is es-

Blake Synowski

MAN STANDS TRIAL FOR MURDER AFTER FORCE-FEEDING ILL HUSBAND “I WAS JUST TRYING TO SAVE HIS LIFE” By Neal Putnam sential to life,” argued Pro. “Shoving food down someone’s throat could result in an obstructed airway,” said Pro, adding that it was “unbelievable” that Zupner would not know that was dangerous. Pro said there was “a struggle for power,” and “Mr. Synowski was trying to get away.” Pfingst countered: “He was calling to request medical help for his husband. Thomas Zupner acted out of love for his husband.” “It’s an accident, a tragic accident that happened here,” said Pfingst, who unsuccessfully asked that the murder charge be dropped. “This is an absolute tragedy,” began Amador. “This should have been avoided.”

Fingerprints on a beer bottle were also preserved. The prints were analyzed many times, but no matches were found until the Naval Criminal Investigative Service again looked at the case in 2019. Lepage was arrested in 2010 for domestic violence in Massachusetts, and his prints were taken then for the first time. Lepage remains in the George Bailey Detention Facility.

“Forcing someone to eat is domestic violence,” said the judge. “There is not an issue where he has to be fed.”Amador said Zupner’s fingers were bitten by Synowksi, a sign he said that he didn’t want to be force-fed. The cause of death was “obstruction of an airway and mechanical asphyxia,” according to the San Diego County Medical Examiner’s office.Sheriff’s Detective Troy DuGal testified Zupner told him he was force-feeding him because Synowski had been ill, lost 20 pounds and could’ve died from starvation. “I was just trying to save his life,” DuGal quoted Zupner as saying at least 10 times to deputies. “I killed him,” Zupner said repeatedly, according to DuGal, who added that Zupner was wailing and crying during the 1 1/2-hour interview. Detective Nicholas Hvizdzak testified he arrived at the Explorer Road residence at 10:13 p.m. and determined Synowski had no pulse. He was not breathing while lying on the kitchen floor. “He was cooperative but extremely upset,” said Hvizdzak of Zupner, and added there were neckties tied on the victim’s arms. Deputies said there was brown paste from the crackers on Synowski’s shirt, face, and floor. Detective Aaron Bailey attended the autopsy and said Synowski’s frenulum under his tongue was torn, with bruised lips. Detective Christi Ramirez said Synowski’s blood alcohol level was .11 and he was an alcoholic. Zupner had no level of alcohol or drugs in his system. Zupner has pleaded not guilty. He worked as an equipment service coordinator. He will return to court on Aug. 10. Some of the hearing’s listeners were Synowski’s family members in Washington, said Pro.

AUGUST 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 22

OPINION

LGBTQSD.NEWS

CREEP OF THE WEEK: MIKE POMPEO By D’Anne Witkowski

image by shutterstock.com

’m in Philadelphia visiting my sister and apparently during my trip there were Nazis marching here and chanting “fuck the gays.” Ah, America. Meanwhile, people are debating whether or not “cancel culture” is the real evil in today’s society and supposed intellectuals are arguing that protecting free speech is more important than protecting people from the violence that speech encourages and incites. There is no world where Nazis marching around with their swastika swag shouting anti-Gay slurs isn’t an encouragement of violence. It’s not like there isn’t a lot of history you could refer to in case you were wondering if Nazis were, like, bad. Given the history and given what Nazis advocate (extermination of groups of people they don’t consider human), I’m 100% okay with Nazis being canceled. That doesn’t threaten my freedom, it protects my life. And speaking of Philadelphia, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo gave an address here on July 16 where he basically said that way too many people were trying to get their hands on human rights and that from now on the only ones that count should be religious freedom and property rights. He wants to see us get back to the “Judeo-Christian tradition on which this country was founded.” Call me crazy, but that sounds a lot like what pro-slavery folks were arguing back in the day. That is fitting since Pompeo is not having it with New York Times’s 1619 project, which is about slavery, calling it “Marxist ideology.” “America, uniquely among nations, has the capacity to champion human rights and the dignity of every human being made in the image of God, no matter their nation,” Pompeo said. “But to do so effectively, we must insist on the rightness and the relevance of America’s founding principles. Surely, if America loses them, she loses her soul and our capacity to do well around the world. If we adhere to them, we will replenish that capacity.” It is, frankly, stunning to think that America still has a soul and the capacity to “do good around the world” with folks like Pompeo in charge. Anyway, needless to say, Pompeo’s view of human rights does not include the rights of Black people, women, LGBTQ+ people, immigrants, etc. In fact, one could argue that his narrow framing of human rights is intended to push those rights out. In fact, people are arguing that. “The Department of State’s effort to cherrypick human rights — in order to unlawfully deny the rights of women, LGBTQI people and others — is a dangerous political stunt that could spark a race to the bottom by human rights-abusing governments around the world,” Amnesty International’s Americas Director Erika Guevara-Rosas said in a statement. Guevara-Rosas also pointed out the absolutely appalling timing of Pompeo’s anti-human rights crusade, stating, “While the global

pandemic killed over 100,000 people in the United States, the Trump administration has disgracefully sought to abandon its obligations to uphold the human rights to health and freedom from discrimination, among others.” As secretary of state during a global health pandemic, especially one that has hit the U.S. so hard — due to the Trump administration’s own incompetence, but still — you would think that Pompeo would be, like, laser focused on working with other countries to eradicate this virus and save lives. But, no. He is laser focused on making sure LGBTQ+ people and other groups that are oppressed around the world know that their humanity is not recognized by this administration. Pompeo said that we are dealing with human rights “inflation” that trivializes “core American values.” It reminds me of a button I saw at a Gay bookstore that read, “If Gays get civil rights then EVERYONE will want them.” Apparently Pompeo read the same button but doesn’t understand sarcasm. In its submission to the U.S. Department of State’s Commission on Unalienable Rights, Amnesty International called on the U.S. government to make a commitment to protecting human rights rather than seeking to dismantle said rights. “Instead, the U.S. government has recently abandoned its seat on the UN Human Rights Council, refused to respond to letters of concern by UN human rights experts, and now is seeking to deny reproductive rights, LGBTI rights and socio-economic rights, among others — which it frames as ‘divisive social and political controversies’ — by unilaterally redefining what ‘human rights’ mean, and rejecting the interpretive authority of UN and other international human rights bodies.” This, folks, is what “America First” means. It really means that we stand alone, not victorious, but shunned around the world for being an embarrassing failure. There aren’t a lot of other countries begging to hang out with us right now. The U.S. is hella unpopular. You could even say that on an international level, the U.S. is hurtling toward being canceled. With folks like Trump and Pompeo in charge, not to mention Attorney General Barr, we are doing our best to be our worst. And it’s working. I would also love to see Secretary of State Mike Pompeo canceled and the best way to do that, by the way, would be to defeat Donald Trump in November. May no member of his Hatred Administration live comfortably or without wrath another day in their lives.

D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

PUZZLE SOLUTION

A NEW CRIME FIGHTER IN TOWN FROM PAGE 13