an Diego’s plan to celebrate and recognize the LGBTQ+ community is off track, and we need to change this. Hillcrest needs an LGBTQ+ Cultural District to protect our heritage and history.
HealTH Sick to Death What Do You Do When You Can’t Workout Due to Illness? P16
By LGBTQ San Diego c ounty News Staff
conic Hillcrest Nightclub The Rail has implemented the use of metal detectors for entry in an effort to keep their staff, patrons and com munity safe. The decision has had mixed reactions from the community, most saying “safer is better”.
In the wake of increased hate crimes and mass shootings across the country, namely the Club Q shooting in Colorado Springs, it is the hope that other nightlife establishments will follow suit and increase their own security measures.
In between his many media requests on the matter, we sat down with The Rails General Manager Wesley Bullen and asked him a few more questions on the matter:
Travel Wonders of Puglia P16 “with #1, The rail, and The loft just being within blocks of each other, we look out for one another.”
Tell our readers a little bit about you and how you ended up as General Manager of The Rail?
I have been working at The Rail since March 2019, started out as a daytime bartender and would fill in on nights when needed until COVID happened. After our 15-month closure, we finally reopened and I was lucky enough to be brought back to work. Since we were only open at night at the time, I was finally able to bartend at nighttime where all the action was at. I unexpectedly became GM in January 2022 due to unforeseen circumstances. It’s a position I didn’t really see myself in at the time, but I gave it a shot and hoped for the best. Nearly a year later, I am extremely happy where I am at, the progress our bar is making, and on the personal side, it changed my life for the better. This position keeps me busy and constantly on my toes, with new challenges and learning experiences.
How did the decision to use metal detectors come to be and what is the general response?
Considering the Club Q tragedy, it was a reminder that we still have many bridges to cross to keep our safe spaces, safe. We were all on high alert after Pulse Orlando happened. Many questions on what actions bars are going to take to keep their patrons safe. The Rail management purchased the wand and started using that as an extra security step. Like every LGBTQ bar, the heightened awareness kind of faded off over time. Club Q was a reminder of how we really can’t let our guard down, clearly we have not crossed that bridge of maintaining our safe spaces yet. Friday, November 25th, I decided we need to bring back our heightened sense of awareness and keep the extra
security step of metal detector wanding in place for the foreseeable future. The response for this last weekend, was nothing but positive. There was no pushback from anyone, no one walked away because of it. Many “thank yous” and appreciation for this happening. So, I feel this is a welcomed step by our community.
Have you seen an increase in incidents of unruly or violent behavior in the past year?
As far as The Rail goes, we have not had any major issues happen in which the security guards could not handle easily. There has been no violence or threats of violence from the outside or patrons. Of course, the occasional fight will break out, but that is expected at any bar. We’ve been lucky these issues have been very seldom. As far as Hillcrest wide, I do unfortunately hear of issues happening at other bars that escalate to violence and that is coming with a major shift in clientele happening across the neighborhood. I think this uptick has exponentially increased post COVID. Before COVID, the issues our community is facing now, weren’t nearly as problematic preCOVID. We were just a calm and quiet community that just wanted to go out and have fun with no worries then. The change post COVID is worrisome and getting to a point where feeling “safe” in our establishments isn’t happening anymore.
How has the nightlife changed since the infamous “COVID lock down of 2020”?
Nightlife since reopening from COVID I feel has gone somewhat back to “normal” outside what I already men tioned. I applaud all the estab lishments in Hillcrest that took all the proper precautions in
keeping patrons safe from CO VID as best as they could. How ever, I do feel like COVID may have changed peoples’ nightlife habits. I know it changed mine. I don’t go out as much as I used to, even though I live just steps away from bars. #1 Fifth Avenue was my “home bar” in the past. It’s always been a welcoming place with friendly staff, still is. It’s now rare that I go there or any bar “just to go” anymore since reopening. If COVID didn’t happen, I think I’d still be in the same nightlife routine of going out. I feel the same may have happened to a lot of others as well. I know of many like me.
Do you have a network of other nightlife Managers and Security personnel that you communicate with?
I have an amazing support network with other bar managers and/or owners. Having not been in a position of this capacity before, they have been more than helpful with coaching, advice, and how to deal with situations. I am beyond thankful for their support and new or continuing friendships. With #1, The Rail, and The Loft just being within blocks of each other, we look out for one another and pass along information of security, unruly patrons we had to remove, and whatnot. I am in contact pretty much weekly with Dave and Rikke in some form. The security guards for #1 and The Rail know each other well and they pass along the same information within each other. Sometimes they know of something before I do. So, I think this is definitely comara derie between us, even though we are competitors. The safety for each other and our bars far outweigh competition. For that, I am truly thankful for them. Our community needs to stick together in keeping it safe and do whatever we can to keep it that way.
The City’s planning staff are currently working on a Historic District to preserve old buildings in the heart of Hillcrest. Their plan will stifle the very historic businesses that they’re trying to protect. An LGBTQ+ Cultural District will make sure that our historic LGBTQ+ businesses can continue to adapt, grow, and not be forced to absorb expensive preservation costs.
Hillcrest’s nightlife businesses are at the heart of the history of the neighborhood and these businesses should be protected and not just the buildings they inhabit. From the seventies through today, clubs and restaurants have created safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community to flourish and grow. Certain conditions have existed in Hillcrest to allow this to happen, and we need to make sure that these conditions continue.
The LGBTQ+ Cultural District should implement several concrete steps to preserve our business and residential communities into the future.
First, the City should scrap plans to create a Historic District in the heart of Hillcrest that will continue to drive up property prices for new residents.
Second, it should create a comprehensive plan for an LGBTQ+ Hillcrest historical
interpretive program highlighting important locations, buildings, and social events.
Third, it should create permissive sidewalk cafe rules for outdoor dining, allow for new entertainment licenses to be issued based on merit, provide disclosure statements for new residents that highlight that they’re moving into an entertainment area, and special rules and fees that encourage and protect festivals, street fairs, and parades.
Forcing LGBTQ+ businesses to operate in historic buildings is like forcing you to live in someone else’s skin—it’s not right. Our businesses need to be able to thrive and grow just like our dynamic LGBTQ+ community does. The best way to celebrate and preserve our history is to ensure that our story continues as dynamic and vibrant as the day it began in Hillcrest.
In our recent discussions with Councilman Stephen Whitburn, 3rd District, we commended him for not only being in support of the “LGBTQ+ Cultural District”, but also committing to taking a strong leadership role in this effort.
- Publisher Nicole Murray Ramirez - Associate Publisher
“The lgbTQ+ Cultural district should implement several concrete steps to preserve our business and residential communities into the future. “(courtesy images)
“The safety for each other and our bars far outweigh competition”
By Neal Putnam
Nine proud LGBTQ veter ans thanked an audience at the LGBT Center shortly be fore they were inducted into the Benjamin F. Dillingham, III & Bridget Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor on Nov. 10.
“55 years is a long time to wait, but finally I feel like this is my welcome home,” said David Huskey, who enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1968 and spent a year in Vietnam, which he called “a year from hell”.
“Thank you for this honor,” said Bob Carney, who also was in Vietnam with the Army in 1968 and was the sole human survivor in an explosion that killed five soldiers but also spared a German Shepherd with him in an ammo pit.
“I will forever be grateful in this life,” said Carney, who added he had shrapnel in his neck and back. Carney returned home to San Diego and became a teacher for 30 years.
“I’m truly grateful for what the military gave to me. I’m a very proud LGBTQ veteran,” said Lark Bearden, who was a Navy nurse in Vietnam.
“I had the opportunity of a lifetime. They gave me the education,” said Bearden, who said she was recalled back to duty as a reservist in Operation Desert Shield/Storm.
Hector Edmundo Rodriguez enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps in 1999 and served in Iraq. Rodriguez told the audience he had a rough patch after his return, and he was homeless in 2015 when he walked into the LGBT Center to seek assistance.
Rodriguez said he got help and now helps others seeking recovery from substance abuse and chronic homelessness. “It means a great deal to get this award,” said Rodriguez.
Midori Hirakawa Sabanal served in the Army from June 1975 through May 1982, and worked assignments in Germany and in the U.S. She was awarded driver and mechanics badges to soldiers in operation and maintenance of combat support vehicles.
Michael W. Klein, Sr., was an operation specialist formerly known as a radarman, in the Navy after he enlisted in 1971. He worked at radar stations to protect Naval bases and later became an anti-submarine air controller.
He uses a wheelchair and is an adviser to San Diego Pride and who advocates accessibility for people with disabilities. “I’m humbled to receive this
recognition just for being me,” said Klein, a biologist.
Michael Donovan joined the Air Force at age 19 and served as a computer operator. Donovan said he was discharged after two years for being Gay. He met his future husband in Omaha while he was stationed at a Nebraska base.
John Acosta served in the Navy from 1972 to 1994 as a damage controlman and his duties were firefighting and fire system inspections. He recently retired as a teacher at South western College. He petitioned AARP to discuss LGBTQ topics and was the first Gay commis sioner for the Veterans Commis sion. AARP sponsored a senior rest zone at the Pride Festival through Acosta’s advocacy.
A dozen members of the Metropolitan Community Church attended the ceremony to watch MCC member David Root receive his recognition for serving in the Army for three years. Root enlisted at age 18 and was stationed in Hawaii.
Beth Coye, a retired Naval commander, was ill and could not attend.
Edward Conlon, who was most well known as “Queen Eddie”, when he wrote advice columns in Gay newspapers Bravo! and Update, joined the Navy in 1946. He attended a hospital corpsman school and ended his service in 1947.
“He was greatly loved and respected,” said former Update publisher Tom Ellerbrock, of Conlan, who died at age 74 in 2002.
Houston Burnside, Jr. enlisted in the Air Force at age 19 and served three years. He became a staff pastor at Metropolitan Community Church and died at age 66 on Oct. 8, 2018, in a traffic accident. His husband is Bruno Giebultowski.
Thomas Carey served in the Navy from 1964-1968 and was the first treasurer for the then-named Gay Center. Carey later worked with an attorney to incorporate and obtain tax-exempt status for the Gay Center. Carey died of AIDS in 1995.
“It takes a village to make this wall,” said Nicole Murray Ramirez during opening remarks.
“They served in silence. It took courage, bravery,” said Toni Atkins, Senate President Pro Tempore, while noting over 100,000 people have been discharged due to their sexual orientation.
San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus is back to launch its 38th season with its annual holiday concert – Jingle! pre sented by Sycuan Casino Resort. SDGMC’s Jingle! will debut at the Balboa Theatre Saturday, December 10, 2022 at 8 p.m. PST, with a matinee Sunday, December 11, 2022 at 3 p.m.
Jingle! promises to once again deliver well-needed cheer that makes it San Diego’s favorite holiday tradition! This year, the Chorus celebrates the power of home, through the beautiful music of Eric Whitacre, Ana Gasteyer, Prince Royce, James Taylor, the Temptations and more.
Additionally, Jingle! will feature the holiday sparkle you have come to expect from SDGMC, including choreographed dances, awe-inspiring solo performances and arrangements that highlight the vocal talents of the chorus ensemble.
Jingle! will be the second concert under the direction of SDGMC’s new Artistic Director, Dr. Charles Beale.
Ticket sales will go directly to the Chorus’ mission to provide inclusive artistic expression, community engagement and positive social change. Standing tall again, SDGMC is now 100% back in action, bringing the gift of music to that San Diego community. For patrons that cannot attend but would like to support the Chorus through a financial contribu tion, donations are accepted on their website, www.SDGMC. org.
All performances will follow the current health advisory guidelines put in place by San Diego Theatres.
Tickets are available through www.SDGMC.org and Ticketmaster: https://sandiegotheatres.org/event/2022/12/jingle
At a Glance Jingle! presented by Sycuan Casino Resort Friday, December 10, 2022, 8 p.m. (ASL Interpretation provided). Sunday, Dec. 11, 2022, 3 p.m.
Please plan to arrive one hour prior to curtain call. Balboa Theatre is located at 868 Fourth Ave, San Diego 92101.
About the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) voluntary com munity chorus. The SDGMC’s mission is to create a positive musical experience through exciting performances that engage audiences, build community support and provide a dynamic force for social change.
SDGMC has built a solid reputation for musical excellence and dynamic programming. As one of the largest gay choruses in the world, SDGMC has sung at locations including the White House, the Super Bowl and Lincoln Center.
SDGMC is a member of GALA (Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses). The organization was formed to build community through music while pursuing musical excellence in performance. For more information on the SDGMC or to donate, please visit www. SDGMC.org.
About Dr. Charles Beale, SDGMC Artistic Director Dr. Charles Beale joins SDGMC as its new Artistic Director with his first show, Get On Your Feet! Charlie is an international choral director, jazz
educator, composer-arranger, and author, with a unique approach to activist choral singing. A passionate campaigner for stylistic diversity within choral singing, Charlie comes to SDGMC with over 20 years of experience with GALA Choruses (Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses), having been the Artistic Director of the London Gay Men’s Chorus from 2002-2007 and the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus (NYCGMC) from 2007-2019. He presently serves on the GALA Choruses’ Board of Directors and Chair of External Relations Committee and serves on the Board’s Education and Networking Committee.
Charlie is the founder and current President of the Global Alliance of Queer Choirs, a new choral organization that brings a global perspective to the LGBTIQ+ choral movement.
Charlie is a powerful voice in the queer choral movement, and in turbulent and uncertain times such as we find ourselves in today, he is especially passionate about music as a way to unify, heal and bring people together
This is a difficult note to write. While the holiday season is here, recent tragedies throughout the country con tinue to take a toll. The deadly shooting at a Colorado Springs LGBTQ nightclub, anti-Semitic hatred running rampant, a shooting at a Virginia Walmart that left six workers dead. So much hate, at a time when we should be able to focus on love and understanding and feel safe in our communities.
I’m also still reeling from the loss of my longtime friend and colleague, Deanna Spehn. Deanna had been part of my legislative team for 10 years, during my time in both the Assembly and the Senate. She advised me on a host of issues including agriculture, environmental quality, water, energy, transportation, parks and natural resources, histori cal preservation, and coastal protection. Before joining my team, she worked for a decade as a policy advisor to Christine Kehoe, my predecessor in both houses.
Since her passing on November 12, it has been so comforting for Deanna’s beloved family and her count less friends and colleagues to
hear the kind words and many stories that have been shared about Deanna—her brilliance, her love for her family and her work, and how much she gave to our community.
One of the saddest parts of Deanna’s passing for me is how much progress we are making in San Diego and Sacramento on the issues she cared so deeply about and worked so hard to solve. Later this week, the opportunity to make even more progress will begin again and Deanna would have been in right there in the thick of it!
On December 5, re-elected Senators and just-elected Senators will come to Sacra mento to begin the legislative session that will last until 2024. It will be an honor to join my colleagues old and new, especially my new Senate District neighbors, Senators Catherine Blakespear (D-38) and Steve Padilla (D-18)! Con gratulations to everyone who was on the ballot last month,
and especially to our Secretary of State Shirley Weber, not only for being elected to keep serving as Secretary of State, but for overseeing such a wellrun election process.
When we come back to the Capitol this January, we will continue working to increase housing, especially affordable housing, and to bring down homelessness—the decadesold challenge that seems to break our hearts particularly strongly this time of year. We will continue to build on the historic advances we made on climate change, helping protect Californians from wildfires at a time when a single light ning strike could destroy an entire community. And we’ll be furthering our efforts to help coastal communities like ours fight the dangers of sea level rise, building on my 2021 bill SB 1 — a bill, that, of course, Deanna Spehn was involved in from the concept stage to it being signed into law. As we
return to the Capitol, we are re-energized to address our ongoing challenges and find solutions that take California into the future. One of the things I am most proud of my colleagues for is the shared commitment the Senate has that real people with serious problems aren’t looking for per formance art, they’re looking for political courage. And that is what we need to keep provid ing in 2023 and beyond.
Finally, I would just say Joy. Joy. Joy. Joy. Joy. Joy. That is what December is really all about, and whether it’s Christ mas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year’s, the Solstice or all of the above in a wild monthlong celebration, I hope all of us will find many opportunities this month to share and spread Joy wherever we can.
Thanks for reading.
California State Senate President pro Tempore Toni G. Atkins
LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458
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wITH NICOle
—Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.
Iwas in Chicago asleep when
I was awoken by a phone call from Colorado Springs telling me about the attack at Club Q and that five were killed and among the over 20 seriously wounded was Prince Ed of the local Imperial Court Chapter who was rushed to the hospital. I was then informed that the General Manager of Club Q was a Princess of the Imperial Court. I immediately called our police chief David Nisleit, Mayor Todd Gloria, and Councilman Stephen Whitburn. Chief Nisleit immediately added more patrols to our LGBTQ+ bars, establishments and organizations. I phoned Sheriff Kelly Martinez and asked her to
step up patrols for the North County LGBTQ Resource Center and the South Bay LGBTQ Center and she im mediately did. The Hillcrest Town Council announced a “NO TO HATE RALLY” and asked me if I could help with speakers (Benny Cartwright and Eddie Rey played a big role in organizing the rally).
Police Chief David Nisleit and I agreed that there needed to be a commu nity meeting with local law enforcement, and we started reaching out to the Sheriff, FBI, District Attorney, etc. We agreed that Councilman Stephen Whitburn would be the perfect moderator for the community meeting. In the meantime, the rally needed
a promotional poster too, so I called Bob Lehman who got one done in less than an hour!
In the meantime, I learned that the San Diego LGBT Center officials had told our Police Chief that the center did not want any police patrolling on Center Street or near the center during the Transgender Day of Remembrance event because many Transgender people “hated the police”.
Police Chief Nisleit and Mayor Todd Gloria refused to let our center and the Transgender Day of Remembrance event go unprotected. When center officials saw the Police Chief and openly Gay Lieutenant
Dan Myers near the center parking lot, they asked them to move! All of this will be addressed in a later issue. But let me make this very clear, I believe that the Executive Directors stand was absolutely putting LGBTQ+ people in danger.
The NO TO HATE RALLY was a huge success as was the Community Town Hall meeting with hundreds in attendance. A big thank you to our Police Chief, Sheriff, Ryan Bedrosian of Richs, Hillcrest Town Council, Tootie, Susan Jester, Big Mike, Benny, Eddie, Bob and Tom, Congresswoman Sara Jacobs, Mayor Todd Gloria and Councilman Stephen Whitburn.
Speech By c ity c ommissioner Nicole m urray r amirez
Tonight, San Diegans have gathered here as Ameri cans are gathering across this nation to send a loud and unequivocal message:
Stop the Hate! Stop the Hate! Stop the Hate!
And we, gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, nonbinary Americans; We Jewish and Muslim Americans; We Black and Brown Americans; We Asian Pacific Islander Americans; We immigrants say:
Stop Killing Us! Stop Killing Us! Stop Killing Us!
And let me, yes, this old, aging, gay, Mexican-American from the 1940s, 50s and 60s, I can say to you; Something is definitely wrong with America! When our children are not safe in their schools and guns are the number one killer of our youth.
Gun Control Now! Gun Control Now!
Something is wrong with America when we are no longer safe even in our churches, synagogues, mosques and temples. Something is very wrong with America when our Asian-Pacific Islander elders are being at tacked, beaten and, yes, killed. And with the ranks and membership of the Proud Boys, Neo-Nazi-Ultra-Right, White Supremacy organizations are growing every year. You better damn wake up America. Something is very wrong with America when mostly Black and Brown transgender Americans are being attacked and killed every month in record numbers. Indeed, something is wrong with America when LGBTQ youth suicide and abandonment are the highest among all youth.
And listen up America: something is really damn wrong when you’re trying to take away a woman’s right to control her very own body.
Just six years ago, 49 LGBTQIA+ people were killed at the Pulse Nightclub.
The recent announcement that San Diego County Supervisor Chair Nathan Fletcher will seek current state senator Toni Atkins seat in 2024 (as Atkins will be termed out) makes popular City Councilman Stephen Whitburn a front runner for Fletchers seat if he wins his Senate bid which would result in a special election in early 2025. If Whitburn wins that special election, then his City Council seat becomes vacant, and the list of possible candidates is already in the making as that special election will also be in 2025. Word is that State Assemblyman Brian Maienschein is the top candidate to run for City Attorney in 2024. Thus, his state assembly seat
will be up and everyone is urging Veteran Joseph Rocha to run and he would certainly be the front running candidate. As for current State Senator Toni Atkins, she is already building a strong campaign for Lieutenant Governor in 2026. When I spoke to Maienschein and Whitburn about their possible future candidacies, they both told me right now they are focused on their current jobs but are indeed receiving many calls urging them to become candidates for City Attorney and County Supervisor. As for Joseph Rocha who ran an outstanding campaign this year, he is seriously looking at Maienscheins State Assembly seat and many of us are urging him to run!
I am most honored about the recognition I’m getting from the city of San Diego this Saturday December 3rd at 1:00 PM (yes, on my #? birthday). It will be the first time a Gay San Diegan man will be honored in such a way. I’m even more honored that Judy and Dennis Shepard, Stuart Milk, former Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski, former San Francisco Supervisor Bevan Dufty and friends from New York, Florida, Colorado, etc are all flying in for the event and that 6 1/2-year-old Daniel Orlando Bustamante will be leading us in the Pledge of Allegiance. It’s going to be a highlight of my over 50 years of Latino/LGBTQ+ activism and you’re all invited to attend. Thank you to Councilman Stephen Whitburn, Mayor Todd Gloria, Big Mike, Benny Cartwright, Eddie Rey, Madeline Baudoin and the San Diego City Council for their unanimous vote.
A big thank you to everyone who helped us with our Thanksgiving Turkey Drive, especially State Assemblyman Chris Ward, County Supervisor Chair Nathan Fletcher, Ryan Bedrosian, and Mayor Todd Gloria, who are all responsible for at least 120 turkeys being donated. Every turkey donated made a difference and you all made Thanksgiving special for women and their children at a shelter for abused women, clients at the Transgender Health Center, LGBTQ+ families through the San Diego LGBT Community Center and well over 100 seniors/elders.
Now please support our “Holiday Turkey, Ham, and Grocery Gift Card” campaign so we can make Christmas meals possible for so many in need, thank you!
And this past Saturday at Club Q in Colorado Springs, we were attacked again with killings and serious injuries totaling over 35 people.
You know there is a reason those haters attack us in our bars and nightclubs, they want to kill our joy and togetherness. For just like the Black churches have always been a haven and safe place for African Americans, our LGBTQ+ nightclubs and bars have always been a haven and safe place for LGBTQ+ Americans, AND THEY WILL ALWAYS BE!!
And let me, yes, the aging Queen Mother I of the Americas make this very loud and perfectly clear; Stop fucking with our drag queens! An Army veteran ally and a drag queen subdued the shooter at Club Q. Because if you don’t, well . . . “you in danger girl.”
In closing, my message to you tonight is we, LGBTQ Americans, Jewish Americans, Black and Brown Americans, Muslim Americans, Pro-Choice Americans, Union/Labor Americans, we must start standing up together and standing up with each other because they are after all of us! Discrimination, hate attacks and hate crimes against one of us, must be considered hate against all of us because standing together, we are the majority!
The very same night Club Q was being terrorized, Neo-Nazi terrorists in New York were being arrested before they were about to terrorize a Jewish synagogue.
And to America’s youth I say to you; you can change what’s wrong with America.
You, our LGBTQIA youth, young Americans, you are the hope of America. You can “right the wrong.” Get involved, become an activist, register to vote.
Yes, my brothers, my sisters, my siblings, my LG BTQIA family, our friends and allies, together we can change what’s wrong with America!
I want to also take this time to acknowledge the leadership and quick response as they did after the PULSE NIGHTCLUB attack when it comes to protecting our community and its establishments: San Diego Police Chief David Nisleit, San Diego County Sheriff Kelly Martinez and Sheriff Anthony Ray, as well as our elected officials especially our LGBTQIA officials who also are subjected to hate and threats like our Mayor Todd Gloria, Councilman Stephen Whitburn, State Assemblyman Chris Ward and our Congresswoman Sara Jacobs. Thank you all for being here tonight and God bless our community and city.
—Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-807-7324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.
Iam excited to introduce our readers to amazing and caring people who live, work, play and do business in our community and city. Learning about people of all lifestyles, talents, and personalities who I think would be interesting for our readers to enjoy. San Diego has a wonderful diversity of individuals that make our slice of paradise the greatest place to live and enjoy each uniqueness.
Working in bars and getting involved with the community I love, for over forty years has given me the opportunity to meet so many amazing people. One of those amazing people is my dear friend Bill Kelly, a man full of life, love, and compassion for our Seniors. Our LGBTQ+ Seniors are never to be overlooked and should have affordable housing. For all the many years I have known Bill he has been a dedicated leader in activism and one of the main reasons the North Park Senior Apartments are a reality today in conjunction with efforts from the San Diego LGBTQ Community Center.
He inspires me to be a better person by encouraging me to appreciate people of all ages and ethnic groups. Thank you, Bill, for your determination and for never giving up on what your heart guided you to do. You make our corner of the world a better place to live without leaving behind those who are often forgotten. You have helped bring awareness to and create an opportunity for a future place to live as we all get older.
It is my honor to introduce a loving, beating heart, my sweet friend Bill Kelly. Here is his story:
My husband Bob and I cared for my aging parents in Illinois until they passed, and we moved to San Diego to care for his aging parents in 1997. We were part-time caregivers for our parents more than 20 years of our life together, that experience led me to advocate for older adults. KPBS made a 30-minute documentary on my advocacy efforts for LGBT seniors in the San Diego area. It can be viewed at https://video.
kpbs.org/video/reflect-williamkelly-making-difference/
The weather, people, energy, cultural diversity and endless variety of things to see and do kept us here.
What gets you most excited about life?
Bob and I are celebrating our 43rd year together and coined the phrase, “just you, just me, TOGETHER WE”. It is what guides our relationship and keeps us strongly committed to each other. The time I spend with Bob and our dog, Jack, keeps me excited about my life and the adventures, challenges and opportunities that constantly bring me joy and excitement.
In your professional life, what makes your business stand out and how has it changed your life?
At the very core of my soul there has always been an unrelenting need to create art. As happens to so many creative people, the need to support myself took me down a broad assortment of careers and jobs including physician’s assistant, bank trust officer and owner of an antiques and collectibles business.
Now 75 years young, Kelly Digital Art, KellyDigitalArt.
com, has taken me back to where I belong.
Inspired by British artist Da vid Hockney’s work in photog raphy and digital art. I trained myself in digital art. Cameras and the iPad serve as my easel, my fingers and Apple pencil are my brushes. Applying and blending the results of vari ous digital applications, I shift the focus from reality to one of abstraction. Often the finished pieces do not remotely resem ble the original photographs I shoot. The works become an unfolding dance of geometric shapes, colors, shades, light and textures. The pieces take shape without any original intention. Those intentions come after I am well into the creative process and are then transferred onto canvas, paper, or aluminum.
How others interpret my works is more important to me than how I see them. Experiencing art is a very personal thing and like most things in life imaginations are as diverse as those viewing any piece. It is the awakening of my imagination and that of others that brings me the great satisfaction.
A few years ago, 40 of my earliest works sold at a private showing and some of the proceeds were used to help
support the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s senior programs. A few more pieces were also donated to charity auctions. Until recently, these were the primary places my work had been seen. Now I am grateful to know a handful of my creations hang in homes in San Diego, Palm Springs, New York, and Florida.
Each piece is sold as a hand signed 1 of 1 original work. The price depends on size (maximum of 4 feet by 5 feet) and the material the pieces are put on, finishes, and optional framing. So far, the largest piece was 17 x 32 inches on canvas. It sold for $750, and the smallest was also 10 x 12 inches at $90. Both included floating wood frames. I have not focused on marketing my work as it is an expensive and time-consuming business I can ill afford at my age. I simply want to create and share my work with those who become aware of and appreciate it. The challenge is covering the expenses of creating while affordably pricing my work to supplement my social security to support staying in San Diego.
A self-published hardcover book with examples of my work is available for sharing with patrons and a video of my
creative process can be seen by choosing the “about” tab on my web site. With dozens of yet unprinted pieces still in my computer,
I welcome those interested in seeing or discussing my works to email, wekbill@yahoo.com or message me on my personal Facebook page under William E. Kelly.
In one or two sentences, how would friends describe you?
I describe myself as an optimistic pessimist and extroverted introvert which makes me a realist who holds out hope that a kinder and better world is always within our reach. I think friends would describe me as intense, generous, caring, giving, compassionate, determined, and a force that will not be denied.
What or who really makes you laugh and why?
Our puppy, Jack, makes me laugh several times a day. He exemplifies innocence, curios ity, unconditional love, and is full of playful energy.
Who inspires you in life to do your very best and why? Those who most inspire me give of themselves without expectations or passing judgement on others. They help others to be the best they and I/we can be and are the heroes that unite us as a human race capable of creating a better, safer, and kinder world.
If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be and why?
I live in the present, seek to understand the past, and would like most to witness a future where compassion and understanding are the domi nant human traits we share. Then we will have evolved to be the best we can collectively be.
If you could give someone advice about your art, hobby, or business, what would you tell them?
Whatever you seek to be or do in life to support yourself, lean toward what truly fills your soul with smiles. Do this and you will have all the material things you will ever truly need.
What are your top five val ues you live by Honesty and openness
Striving to understand those different from me in any way Compassion Volunteerism
Gratitude is so important in each of our lives, what are you most grateful for, and how do you pay it forward?
I am most grateful for the experiences and opportunities that have allowed me to live a life near the bottom of life’s ladder and for having the opportunities to slowly climb a little higher. More fortunate than most, I am happiest when paying it forward. Advocating for and helping others find their way up the ladder is important to me. Promoting civil equality and conversation is key to doing so.
“Cameras and the ipad serve as my easel; my fingers and apple pencil are my brushes”
Bill Kelly (courtesy images)
How did you end up in San Diego and what do you love about it?artwrok before artwrok after artwrok after artwrok before Bob and Bill Jack lIfe beYON d THerapY
619-955-3311
Ijust read an article with the above title and found myself disagreeing with the author. So, after giving the subject much thought, here are the qualities that comprise my list:
1. Be humble. About fifteen years’ ago, at a lecture in Coronado, I heard author Richard Rohr say, “I ask for one major humiliation a day.” I was stunned: I couldn’t believe that someone would want that. “One major humiliation a day keeps me humble” he said. Rohr’s statement about humility has stayed with me all these years. I can’t say that I ask for one major humiliation every day, but I do ask God/ The Universe/Allah to help me stay humble and not think I am entitled or more deserving than anyone else.
2. Don’t lie to yourself. We tell ourselves stories to feel better because we don’t want to take responsibility for how we feel. Most people I’ve met during my twenty-plus years as a therapist have some kind of a victim story going on: “Oh, poor me, those awful/mean/ stupid people did it to me”. We all do awful/mean/stupid things…it’s part of being human. But can we tell ourselves the truth and say: “I see how I contributed to this situation. I do have responsibility here.” This takes you out of victim mode and puts you into “What can I learn from this?” (High IQ mode).
3. Admit when you’re wrong. For about thirty years, I had a knee problem. I went to a Chinese elder in Spring Valley for acupuncture, which helped, but the pain kept coming back. One day, after this wise woman gave me a treatment, she muttered under her breath, “Knee problems, must not be willing to be wrong.” I said, “What?” She said, “People with knee problems are rigid. They need to be right so bad that they lock their knees and their
knees never heal.” I asked her what to do. She said, “Be willing to be wrong.” So, I started going through my days, saying “I am willing to be wrong” over-and-over again…and my knee pain went away.
4. Know how to calm yourself. If you had perfect parents, you are probably terrific at calming yourself when something bad happens. For the rest of us, it’s something we can learn. I help clients with this all the time. Due to space limitations here, if you’d like to know how this works, contact me and I’ll be happy to give you some selfsoothing skills.
5. Focus on the questions in life. Not the answers. It has long been my experience that if you ask the “right” questions, the answers always come. Maybe not as fast as you’d like, but they will come. There’s so much we’ll never know, but there are so many great questions to ask and ponder. Teenagers think they know it all. Remember? You thought older people were so stupid and out of touch. Have you noticed that – hopefully –the older you get, the less you know. A song lyric from the
movie “Yentl” summarizes this perfectly: “The more I live; the more I learn. The more I learn the more I realize the less I know.”
6. Be comfortable with uncertainty. We all want to control everything and we think it’s possible. Then we get pissed off when it doesn’t go according to “our” plan. This is the perfect setup for unhappiness. Uncertainty is the way of life. There is so much that we can’t control: if we make peace with this, our lives will be so much easier.
7. Do no harm. Do you ever set out to mess with people? Make them feel bad? In our weakest moments, we all do. But it doesn’t make us happy: it just escalates the misery that prompted us to hurt them in the first place. Notice that. when you purposely want to hurt somebody, it comes back to bite you in the ass. Instead, aspire to “do no harm” and make it easy for other people and animals to like you.
This is my own list of the signs of a high IQ. It might be more accurate to call it, “Seven Signs of Wisdom”. Whatever you call it, give it a try and see if you don’t emerge a smarter and happier person.
“focus on the questions in life. Not the answers.”
—Connor Maddocks has been a civil rights advocate in the San Diego Transgender community for years. He does trainings
It’s that time of year again. Time for holidays and looking back at a long year. Although COVID is still around, there are less cases. The anti-Trans legislation is out of control in our country. We mourned the passing of 32 of our siblings who died due to violence simply because they were Trans. 32 beautiful souls lost forever because of the hate stirred up by evil who call themselves leaders. Roe V Wade is overturned. So many things that go against a world that is safe and sane. I keep asking the universe when will it all end? We lost 5 more com munity members in a shooting in Colorado. We lost so many children and adults in unfet tered senseless violence. When will it end?
I do see a very dim light at the end of the tunnel though, as many Americans cast their votes for new lead ers who aren’t haters, who don’t condone violence, who want sensible gun laws and who understand that racism, anti-Transgender violence, ho mophobia, white supremacists and hate for anyone who is different from them is wrong, it is evil, and it must stop. There is some hope.
This year I offer gifts that are easy to give. These gifts don’t cost a dime, most are fair ly easy to get and give. These gifts have a value beyond dol lars and cents. These gifts can be life changing for some.
The first gift I offer is the gift of HOPE. The definition of hope according to the MerriamWebster Dictionary is to cher
ish a desire with anticipation: To want something to happen or be true. Other definitions include expecting something positive to happen. An optimis tic state of mind. Each one of us can hold hope in our hearts and minds and it can also be given to others through words or actions. Hope can change the world; hope can change you.
The second gift I offer is HONESTY. Honesty starts with us. Being honest with oneself can lead to great revela tions. It can rock your world if you let it. Honesty with others can lead to healing, love, integ rity, change and a true sense of how to better see the world. It can be truly nourishing for the soul.
The third gift I offer is PAS SION. I believe that Passion is a deep-seated feeling of exhilaration and motivation.
Passion can give you immense
joy when it becomes action. Doing something you are pas sionate about can bring such a sense of wellbeing and serenity into your life. It can be a way to escape the world for a bit to recharge. If you are lucky enough to find employment in a place doing the work, you are passionate about it brings a wonderful sense of happi ness and self-worth. Find your passion and do it, share it with others, help others find their passion. Passion will make for a fuller life.
The fourth gift I offer LAUGHTER. It’s said that laughter makes the world go round. It can be found in so many places. Learn first to laugh at yourself. We all make mistakes and berate ourselves for any shortcomings but turn it into laughter. It’s amazing how it can change your whole perspective. Laughter can
brighten even the darkest day. Laughter is not something to be used as a weapon but to be used to makes things easier to deal with. Laughter can heal, laughter can mend fences and deflate conflict anger. It is a very powerful gift. If you are having a bad day, find your laughter. Find a funny movie to watch, a funny book to read, or cute and funny posts on the internet. Share laughter with others, find your inner child and be silly with yourself or others. Laughter brings smiles to those around you and brings out those endorphins in your brain that make you feel bet ter. When you laugh you take in more oxygen which enhances your body to function better. It’s hard to stay sad, or mad or just plain indifferent to the world when you find something to laugh about.
The fifth gift I offer is
FRIENDSHIP. Having friends is so important for one’s life. You don’t need a lot of friends; you just need really good friends. Friends are the people who get you, who care about you, who treat you with kind ness and love. True Friends are not mean or abusive, they are not selfish. They are the people you can share anything with and not be judged. Friends will be honest and tell you when you are wrong or hurtful. Friends share their life and themselves with you. Friends bring you joy and laughter, they console you, they hold you, they never leave you to go through life alone. Find people you feel connected to, people who share common bonds. Be a good friend, be kind and gener ous with them. Include them in the joys and sorrows of your life. True friendship will add such joy to your life and a sense of security knowing they are there for you and you are there for them. Cherish your friends, they are so important for your wellbeing.
The Sixth and final gift I offer is LOVE. Loving and be ing loved does more to nourish your being than anything else I know. Love is all encompass ing, passionate, and filled with joy and laughter, tears and hugs, inspiration and expecta tion. It can be the fuel to fire you up and the gentle serenity to calm you down. Love is wild and impetuous; love is stabil ity and a safe harbor. Love will be the people who care about you, who support you, who tell you how amazing you are. Love brings you confidence and bravery to tackle every thing in your life. The first rule about love though is you must love yourself. I believe that if you don’t have self-love, it’s impossible to truly love others. If you don’t love yourself, you will be deceived by false love offered to you. You will grasp at the nearest hand without seeing the evil or selfishness behind it. Everyone is worth love; everyone deserves love, and everyone should have love. I wish love for everyone; I wish the truest kind of love that is selfless and sometimes flawed.
Love is hard sometimes but it’s love that fills you up.
When I finally allowed myself to honestly see who I was and decided to transition almost 20 years ago, I didn’t have most of these gifts. I thought I didn’t have some of them because I wasn’t seeing the real love around me. I finally found hope for my future when at the time I barely saw a future for myself. Through transitioning I found my passion to help other folks in the Trans Community. The work I have been doing has brought me endless joy and enriched my life beyond words.
I found friendship and love from so many people I encoun tered by living my true, honest, passionate life. Suddenly my life was filled with laughter and love. I give these gifts to all of you and hope they will enrich your life as they have mine.
Thanks to all of you who have bestowed these gifts on me. I wish you the happiest and safe holiday season and New Year.
“tHe first gift i offer is tHe gift of HoPE”
ES Collection USA sexy new Sports Shorts include a removable black bag on the right side. Available in red and gray, they are $85. Complete the look with the removable top jacket, a black vest with two side pockets, $107 at ESCollectionUSA.com.
is where you can literally find something for anyone! Everything from vintage fashion, high end designer wear, night life outfits, holiday attire like ugly sweaters and accessories galore!
3823 5th Avenue Hillcrest
Hills Wine and Spirits is your stop for that hostess gift or that hard to shop for wine connoisseur. With a fantastic selection of wine, beer, and spirits and a knowledgeable staff that will guide you.
3981 Eagle Street
Mission Hills
LadyCode’s “Beauty and the Beach Eyeshadow Palette” is the latest must-have from beauty influencer, Lisa Opie, a protege of drag queen Jeffree Star. The limited-edition palette includes 18-shades with 7 high pigment mattes and 11 shimmers that will deliver endless possibilities of dreamy, glam looks throughout the season. $39 at LadyCodeShop.com
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Who does not like a gift card to one of our delicious restaurants in town, you can grab one for one of Mo’s Universe restaurants that include, Urban Mo’s, Barrel & Board, Baja Betty’s, Gossip Grill, Hillcrest Brewing Company and InsideOut. urbanmos.com, barrelandboardsd.com, bajabettyssd.com, gossipgrill.com, hillcrestbrewingcompany.com, Insideoutsd.com
Or get one from our favorite Italian Restaurant Tavola Nostra right in the HUB shopping center. tavolanostrapizzeria.com
The Candy Depot is the “Home of the Fudge Packers”, and they are coming at you this year with fudge flavors like Crème Brule, Caramel Apple and S’mores to name a few. You can also count on them for memorable old fashion candy and delicious stocking stuffers like seasonal truffles in Brandied Egg Nog, Buttered Rum, Candy Cane and more flavors. Did we mention that you can also sign up for the Fudge of the Month Club for yourself or as a gift? They also have some lovely handmade candy themed jewelry.
1295 University Avenue Hillcrest
Teamm8’s Icon brief is a super sexy mens underwear sports brief with cut out sides designed to help guys exude confidence, individuality and defiance. The sporty low-rise brief cut is ultra comfortable, soft to the touch, with quick dry fabrication and a matching colored 4cm wide metallic waistband with single logo on front. $24.80 at Teamm8.com
Mara w. elliott
—Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.
In the fall of 2019, when no one had yet heard of COVID, a San Diego teenager we’ll call Daphne decided to get a few dozen friends together for a party at her house. Daphne was only 15 and many of her friends were also underage. A loud, drunken party ensued.
Responding to noise complaints from her neighbors, police arrived to find beer cans and red Solo cups scattered about and teens jumping the fence to avoid arrest. While some of the partiers admitted to drinking that night, Daphne’s parent, who was home and smelled of alcohol as well, denied any knowledge of the events leading to the noise complaints.
Making matters much worse, one of the minors had to be taken to the hospital after consuming too much alcohol at the party.
Whether the parent’s neglect was intentional or merely unfortunate, in San Diego it was also criminal.
Adults allowing a party where underage drinking occurs are in violation of San Diego’s Social Host law, passed in 2003 and expanded in 2019 to include marijuana and other drugs.
parents, otHers Can be Held liable under soCial Host laW
First-time offenses come with a minimum $100 fine.
The parent here was fined $250 and is on notice because the fine doubles for a second offense and future violations could mean six months in jail.
With the worst of the pandemic receding, in-person parties are again on the rise, particularly as we head into the holidays.
As a parent, I know how important it is to keep our children safe. And as City Attorney, I know too many of our teenagers begin using drugs and alcohol at a young age. One thing you may find surprising is that most teens don’t get alcohol with a fake ID, but at a friend’s house, sometimes with a wink and a nod from the parent.
You’ll hear them say, “Better for them to drink here than out in the community.” This logic is faulty. First of all, your teenagers should know that you don’t condone underage drinking anywhere. But, also, think about those 16-year-olds at Daphne’s house. They aren’t going to call mom and dad to take them home at the end of the party. They are going to drive with their newly minted licenses. And some of them will end up with DUIs while others will get into accidents.
Under San Diego’s social host law, Daphne’s parent would be legally responsible for any damages done by those teens. That’s not hypothetical. It happens all too often, and when it does, my
Office will hold accountable those who choose to ignore the law through arrest and prosecution.
By the way, you don’t have to be a parent to be prosecuted under the Social Host law.
The law allows the prosecution of any adult knowingly serving alcohol to a person under 21 years of age. You also do not have to be in attendance. Under the law, you can’t just say, “I wasn’t there so I didn’t know.” It’s enough to be held liable if you should have known a person under 21 was being served alcohol in your home.
So, what can you do to ensure you are a responsible host?
Experts point to four key steps to take:
• Prevent access to alcohol and marijuana by minors;
• Limit how much you buy so you don’t lose track of how much is being consumed;
• Verify the age of all party at tendees so that you know who can legally drink; and
• Supervise the activities of all minors in your home to ensure compliance with the Social Host law.
As I mentioned, keeping all children in San Diego safe is one of the main goals of my work. Our Social Host law helps accomplish that goal. Please do your part and obey the law.
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1 menotti’s middle name 6 His brother laid him in his grave 10 poet angelou 14 Hunter that comes out at night 15 marilyn monroe facial feature 16 thames school 17 two foursomes 18 Witty bombeck 19 thornton Wilder’s “our ___” 20 movie about Charlie, a gay man with a binge-eating problem 22 start of a quote from the movie 24 lilly, the drug maker 25 frizzy hair style 26 those who have no faith in the divine miss m? 31 Chef traci ___ Jardins 34 rather, informally 35 “__-hoo! fellas!” 36 goose sound 37 end of the quote 40 person in opposition 41 supporters of drag queens 42 spy novelist deighton 43 stroke your boa, e.g. 44 lily for Colette 45 plot organizers 48 Heirs split it 50 disney’s “ ___ and the detectives” 51 He plays Charlie 57 poke with a stick 59 Gets ready to fire 60 president born in Hawaii 61 month of the stonewall riots 62 Weighty volume 63 basins for mychal Judge 64 in the public eye 65 mireille of “the killing” 66 ___ fruit records
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1 martin of “frasier,” for one 2 Bishop prefix in a Cather title 3 Circumcision or baptism 4 mgm studios cofounder marcus 5 like a fugitive 6 mauresmo of the courts 7 make a hole in 8 state tree of barney frank’s home 9 game where you bend over for fun 10 Justice for women movement 11 lying on 12 mournful cry 13 Hathaway of “brokeback mountain” 21 disney prince 23 areas for dr. kerry Weaver 25 many, many moons 26 in working order 27 movie tough guy Chuck 28 erection you might get from looking at boobs? 29 Cockpit predictions 30 engaging in rivalry 31 gift recipient 32 penetrate 33 Half naked basketball team 36 Working your fingers to the bone 38 treat like someone from uranus?
kind of buddhist
sneak away hand in hand
aaa way
some mapplethorpe equipment
band that recorded “unbelievable”
“as you like it” forest
diva Celine
What guns shoot off
right in the head
respondents to 911
devil-may-care
duds in the bedroom
golden girl mcClanahan
Tap into the benefits that CDs bring
The magic of the Holiday Season can be even more spectacular when we experience it outdoors. Here in San Diego, we have some amazing weather year-round, so go outside and enjoy these events. A few of them are even free to the public!
BALBOA PARK
December 2-3, 2022
This event is one of the most anticipated and attended in our city. Massive Balboa Park turns into a community celebration of culture and arts, with food vendors from all over the World, light displays, live performances at various stages, including the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus. The December Nights festival is free of charge.
BELMONT PARK
Nov. 11, 2022 - Jan. 1, 2023
Belmont Park is one of San Diego’s most popular beachfront attractions, and it’s a great place to breathe in the salty sea, while getting lost in the Christmas lights. Plenty of rides and attractions for the young ones too.
HOLIDAY MARKET AND TRAIL PETCO PARK
December 1-22, 2022 Petco Park, home of the San Diego Padres, hosts a fun display of lights, local food and craft vendors, as well as Holiday characters that will surely delight families. This is a budget friendly option with tickets ranging between $10-$14.
Dec. 8, 2022 - Jan. 1, 2023
For some fun in the snow (yup, real snow), head to the Del Mar Fairgrounds, for snow tubing down a snow hill, Christmas light pathways, and tons of Holiday beverages and treats.
AND LIGHTS!
Who doesn’t get all warm and fuzzy when they see a gorgeous display of lights? I can’t help it, makes me all giddy and excited to celebrate the season with my friends and family. Here are some spots to bask in the lights’ delight.
LIGHTSCAPE
SAN DIEGO
BOTANIC GARDEN
Nov. 18, 2022 - Jan. 1, 2023
This incredible lights installation returns to San Diego after doing sold-out runs in a few cities all over the World and the US. Lightscape illuminates a mile of the San Diego Botanic Garden in a unique experience full of wonder for all ages. This is a walking event, so make sure to wear comfortable shoes to stroll around the garden and take some fabulous pictures.
JINGLE TERRACE LIVE MOONLIGHT AMPHITHEATRE
December 7-18, 2022
The Moonlight Amphitheatre, a ven ue in Vista that produces Broadway calibre Musical Theatre productions, presents a Holiday extravaganza full of light displays, live nightly enter tainment, and refreshment vendors for the entire family.
ENCHANTED VILLAGE @NOAH HOMES, SPRING VALLEY
December 16-22, 2022
Walk down light tunnels, Christmas cottages, and magical displays of light and festive decorations. Over a million lights adorn the spectacular event. This is another attraction that you’ll want to bring comfy shoes to.
TRADITIONS ON STAGE
One of my favorite ways to enjoy the season is to visit the theater. Stories of family, holiday cheer, and togetherness will make anyone’s heart grow a few sizes. Here are three beautiful productions that capture this.
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!
THE OLD GLOBE
Nov. 9, 2022 - Dec. 31, 2022
Celebrating its 25th Anniversary, the Grinch returns to the Old Globe Theatre to attempt stealing Christmas from the Who’s once again. If you haven’t experienced this San Diego classic, this is the perfect year to visit Who-ville with your loved ones.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL CYGNET THEATRE
Nov. 22, 2022 - Dec. 26, 2022
Charles Dickens’ classic story adaptation is masterfully produced by Cygnet Theatre with a darker feel that makes it unique and hauntingly relevant. Don’t miss it!
1222 OCEANFRONT: A BLACK FAMILY CHRISTMAS
NEW VILLAGE ARTS
December 20-24, 2022
Last year, New Village Arts produced the critically acclaimed musical hit 1222 Oceanfront: A Black Family Christmas, a celebration of Black culture, soul food, and family. Luckily, the powerful show returns this year, and will surely become a new San Diego classic for Christmas time.
BLADES OF HOLLY
If you can’t make it to Rockefeller Center in New York City this Holi day Season, don’t fret! There are some fantastic spots in San Diego to show off your triple axels and get in the Christmas spirit.
SKATING BY THE SEA HOTEL DEL CORONADO
Nov. 17, 2022 - Jan. 1, 2023
San Diego’s historic Hotel del Coronado offers Skating by the Sea, an outdoor ice-skating rink at the Windsor Lawn that has become a tradition for a lot of our city’s families. Tickets to this popular attraction include the skate rental and up to 90 minutes of rink time.
RADY CHILDREN’S ICE RINK
LIBERTY STATION
Nov. 17, 2022 - Jan. 8, 2023
The Rady Children’s Hospital partners with Liberty Station during the Holidays in bringing their outdoor ice-skating rink to the Central Promenade. A great way to watch the sunset while gliding around the ice.
VIEJAS ICE RINK
VIEJAS OUTLET CENTER
Nov. 4, 2022 - Jan. 8, 2023
Southern California’s largest iceskating returns to Viejas for the enjoyment of skating lovers tall and small. This attraction is open at 3pm nightly, for those early birds trying to avoid the evening crowds.
The
LOVE ACTUALLY - IN CONCERT
RADY SHELL @ JACOB PARK December 21, 2022
Love Actually is without a doubt, a contemporary Holiday classic. If you are also a fan, you will love watching the movie with the San Diego Symphony orchestra performing the score live.
RADY SHELL @ JACOB PARK
December 9-11, 2022
The San Diego Symphony, San Diego Master Chorale and San Diego Children’s Choir dazzle audiences with Holiday classics in their annual concert at the beautiful Rady Shell.
A DOO WOP CHRISTMAS
Moonlight Amphitheatre December 18, 2022
The Doo Wop Project will bring Holiday classics with a doo wop flair and sound to the Moonlight Amphitheatre. Expect soulful vocal harmonies, impressive dance moves, and an all-around good time!
Sunday, January 1, 10:30 am,
Below is a list of some of our Advent related services. Live streamed services are indicated beside location. For a comprehensive list, visit stpaulcathedral.org/advent/
CHORALE MESSIAH SING
Sunday, December 4, 4 pm, In the Cathedral and livestreamed Our traditional Messiah “Sing-Along” returns to the Cathedral this year, with the San Diego Master Chorale conducted by John Russell and accompanied by Martin Green on the cathedral organ.
CHRISTMAS EVE FAMILY SERVICE Sunday, December 24, 5 pm, In the Cathedral. Join us for a dramatic re-telling of the Christmas story from our children and youth, followed by a eucharist. A brief “rehearsal” will take place in the Chapel of the Holy Family at 4:30 for young people who wish to participateno sign-ups required!
PRESIDING BISHOP
Sunday, December 11, 9:30 am, In the Cathedral and live-streamed. For our one and only morning service on December 11 we welcome the Most Rev. Michael B. Curry, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, as our preacher and the Rt. Rev. Dr Susan Brown Snook Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of San Diego, as our presider. If you are unable to attend in person this service will be livestreamed and available on our YouTube channel afterward.
SOLEMN MIDNIGHT MASS
Saturday, December 24, 10:30 pm, In the Cathedral and live-streamed. Join us for one of the highlights of the Cathedral year, when we celebrate the birth of Christ. The celebration, features members of the Cathedral Choir, instrumentalists, pageantry, carols, and The Rt. Rev. Dr. Susan Brown Snook will both preside and preach.
FOR CHRISTMAS
Sunday, December 18, 5 pm, In the Cathedral and livestreamed. Members of the Cathedral Schola offer a heart-warming and beautiful service of Scripture readings and carols, to usher in the Christmas season in the tradition of the Church of England. The service will include favorite carols from our traditional Lessons and Carols service.
CHRISTMAS DAY CHORAL EUCHARIST
Sunday, December 25, 10:30 am, In the Cathedral. We celebrate Christmas morning with a service of Eucharist featuring organ and carols. The Rt. Rev. Dr. Susan Brown Snook will preside over this service.
—Adam Martindale is a luxury cruise travel agent and specializes in Wine, Food & LGBTQ group cruises & tours. Adam has over 30 years of experience, working for 4 major cruise lines, luxury hotels and resorts as Food and Beverage Director. Adam is a board member with San Diego ASTA (American Society of Travel Advisors). Adam specializes in Oceania and Regent Seven Seas Cruises and has been recognized as a “Cruise Connoisseur” Agent for his volume of business with Oceania Cruises. Contact him at 206-399-2138 and amartindale@ cruiseplanners.com
By r andall Blaum
P
uglia is one of Italy’s best-kept travel secrets, steeped in history, postcardperfect landscapes, breathtaking beaches and a worldrenowned cuisine. Located in the heel of Italy’s boot, Puglia proudly showcases both a rustic tranquil countryside full of ancient olive trees and magnificent towns rich in luxury Baroque architecture. Sitting between two seas, the Ionian and the Adriatic, its long coastline features white sandy beaches and crystalline blue waters. You will discover the southern part of this region, full of charm and authenticity, in a tour that combines the must-see sights of the area with a sophisticated exploration of the food and wine specific to the area. You will have the opportunity to visit beautiful towns and beaches, some of the main key sights of Puglia, including Lecce and Otranto.
I recently enjoyed a tour with Italy Gay Travels, which focused on the Salento region, where the history of Italy began. We explored beautiful port towns that once acted as a safeguard to this fertile land: Otranto and Gallipoli, a picturesque fishing town nowadays very popular with the LGBT community from Italy and beyond. We visited the spectacular Baroque Old Town of Lecce, the Florence of Southern Italy and discovered the best kept secrets of the area. We enjoyed many sensational activities: We learnt to cook like a local with a private cooking class; enjoyed wine tasting of the region’s finest produce including Primitivo and robust Negroamaro; we dined at all the local’s favorite restaurants around and chose our favorite Gelato from their hand-picked gelaterias.
We arrived at Brindisi Airport, which has many connections to Europe and beyond and were welcomed by our fabulous hosts Sergio & Kendall. We were then driven to our accommodation, just 30 minutes away, in Lecce.
In the afternoon we enjoyed a walking tour of the historical center of Lecce and a Welcome Dinner where we enjoyed our first taste of delicious Puglia cuisine.
Day 2.Castro and Otranto
After a hearty breakfast, we headed to one of the most beautiful towns along the Puglia coastline, on the Adriatic Sea, Castro. This area is frequented by celebrities for its awe-inspiring untouched landscapes and natural beauty. We made our way to the port of the town where we boarded a private boat to discover the magical surroundings of the area and it’s amazing sea caves.
After a light lunch/aperitif, we headed to Otranto, the Easternmost part of Italy. The place is postcard famous for its East meets West architecture and white sandy beaches.
A culinary tour in Italy would not be complete without Pizza: In the evening we make our way to one of the best Pizzerias around.
Day 3. Pasta Making Class, wine tasting and Nardò
After a delicious breakfast we headed to a Masseria. A Mas seria is a typical farmstead.
We enjoyed a hands-on experience: a cooking lesson from a local chef, focusing on cooking typical Salento dishes and exploring the variety of local ingredients used. Cooking in Salento, and Puglia as a whole, is very seasonal and therefore recipes differ from one month to the next. Naturally we ate what we made.
After lunch, we headed to the baroque town of Nardò. We visited one of the best
known wineries of the area for a unique wine tasting session. We tasted wines that are unique to the area of Salento: The traditional varieties that are grown include Primitivo and Negroamaro then enjoyed a typical Salento dinner.
In the morning we visited Galatina, the so-called Lecce’ little brother. It is a small town that has much in common with its more illustrious neighbor: its mainly baroque town center that has remained virtually intact over the centuries.
Next, we stopped in Gallipoli (which means Beautiful City). Gallipoli is a port town famous for fishing boats and fresh sea food. We meandered through the little alleyways and saw the locals going about their trades. This town will steal your heart! We visited the city and after that we enjoyed a lovely meal in one of their favorite restaurants in the area. Free time in the afternoon. Shopping anyone?
After breakfast, it was time to say a tearful goodbye. Ciao and see you next time in sunny Puglia!
Afew weeks back I had a sinus infection and that slowed me down in life and at the gym. Then a short time after that I somehow contracted Giardia, a parasite that is usually found in ponds and streams, neither of which I had been for years. In any case, somewhere, somehow, I got this dreaded parasite from contaminated water.
wONders Of pUglIaIt hit like a ton of bricks and knocked me down for about five days. I was on the toilet (no kidding) about 30 times a day for four days straight. I lost 11 pounds in 9 days and was almost hospitalized for severe dehydration. As you might imagine I could not work out at all. It was almost two weeks since my last work out and I felt it, even now a week-and-a half of recovery and I am not the same.
I’m smaller, I am weaker, and I hate it. I feel fat and insignificant. I know I am not fat nor am I insignificant, but my ego is hitting me over the head with all the bad past programming. Does this happen to you, when you have the knowledge, but your ego keeps hammering at you? Argh!!!
Okay, argh, is not the most professional word, but jeez. To be taken out for nearly three weeks and not being able to work out was beyond frustrat ing. I am, of course, glad I did not go to the hospital, but I feel like a lost a lot and, frankly, am having a hard time getting back into the swing of things, but I am getting back into it. I must.
The question is, what drives us to do better, to keep on track versus giving up? For me, and I hate to admit this, what drives me to continue is stark-raving fear of backsliding to what I was before, fat and unhealthy with a fast track to sickness and probably death.
to work at your passion or give up? Giving up is easy and I must admit there were days after the Giardia that I chose not to go to the gym and not to workout. The beginning of giving up.
This happens to all of us –you come back from a knockout punch from life, love, sickness, whatever, and you have to choose to get back off the mat and get going again. It is hard – and while I guess there is no right or wrong choice, it is a choice. An object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest. I rested here and there and then made the choice to get back into my workouts and I am glad I did.
Yes, I am at lower weights for a while as I get tuckered out more easily. The docs say it can take weeks for the body to totally heal from this. Great – and I have had to push my bodybuilding contest back to April – very frustrating, but it is what it is.
I have a saying, “Don’t yell at the giraffe for not being a zebra.” Simply put don’t get mad at others for who they are and not living up to your expectations, but this also is true for situations. I got sick, I am healing and no amount of pushing myself or complaining will change the situation. It is what it is. Deal with it.
This is where I think a lot of people get off track. We blame, shame, and justify others and things to make ourselves look good, feel better, or feel more empowered. That’s all a false narrative. It’s basically a lie to yourself that serves no purpose and wastes time.
Italy Gay Travels can be booked through Adam Martindale, Cruise Planners, amartindale@cruiseplanners.com 619-879-3601 www.italygaytravels.com/ puglia-gaycations/
I know, harsh words, but the truth hurts sometimes and when I was sick and lost the 11 pounds in 9 days, I could feel my muscles shrinking and it scared me. What got me back on track was the words of a good friend of mine, “Commit ment is what’s needed when passion or life hinders your advancement.” Wow. Read that again. It all comes down to: Are you committed to what you love, and will you continue
Life gets in the way of the mission, the dream, and your desires. Life is a test of character. What you do when hit in the face with unexpected things is part of how you find out who you are and what you are made of.
As we go through the holiday season, we will all be tempted to live life to its fullest with friends, family, food, drink, sex, you name it. Keep your goal and your dream centerstage because you have no idea when the next curve ball is coming your way and being as healthy (mind, body, and soul) as you can and will be a major asset.
WHat do you do WHen you Can’t Workout due to illness?(image by shutterstock.com)
korie Houston
—Korie has almost a decade of experience working within the LGBTQIA+ community. Holding various positions within Social Justice advocacy in higher education and journalism in queer publications. He currently works at the University of California, San Diego providing support and championing causes for marginalized communities on campus.
It’s that wonderful time of year again. The holiday season where everyone is sitting around a well decorated dinner table, sharing party anecdotes, laughter and, for many in our community, holding back tears in the waves of grief that overcome many of us as we process the difficult relationships with family, the losses we’ve suffered as a community and the love we lose and gain during these hardships. Welcome back to Houston, We Have a Problem. Today I’m going to get a little personal. How do we cope with grief and loss?
I don’t know about you all but navigating life in the skin that I do, in the communities I serve, I am exhausted. I’m tired of the platitudes of “you’re so strong” & “you’re so resilient”. All of these things can be true but how do we continue to romanticize the idea of resiliency when it’s not truly a choice, it is what we have to be to survive. This isn’t what living should be about. Most of all, I am tired of the neverending waves of grief.
On one end I mourn the lives of black people all over this country who will never be sitting at the dinner table with their families and loved ones again.
I mourn for our Trans community constantly experiencing violence and I mourn for the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole who don’t feel safe enough to enter their treasured spaces.
I recently experienced the worst heartbreak of my life and it felt insurmountable. In the same month I lost a dear friend to cancer, who was the closest equivalent I’ve ever had to fairy godmother in my life. With everything I’ve experienced compounded with the tragedy of Colorado Springs it feels like our day-to-day lives are pale in comparison to the senseless loss of life we’ve just witnessed.
The feeling is indescribable, but collectively I see anger, outrage, and a desire for change. I just want to know when will it all be enough?
When will we finally be able to stop having to turn every name into a rallying cry? Will the work we do here today light a path for a better tomorrow? When will we be able to just be?
Everyone has some connection to grief at every intersection of their identities and yet I truly feel more disconnected from the world than I ever have. How do you put into words the need for chosen family and love when it all can easily be so taken away? We love hard until it becomes
too difficult and for some we pull away from love until we must come together to mourn.
With the death of my friend, it reminded me to hold onto my loved ones a little closer. With the tragedy of Colorado, it reminded me to tell more people I love them because you don’t know when your experiences of joy with them will be the last. With the loss of numerous people I share identities with, I’m constantly reminded that I need to be a little braver and a little louder. Lastly, with the loss of the future that I wanted to share with the man I thought would remain my partner in life, I’m not reminded of anything but afraid to truly embrace love because of how easy it is to strip it bare and be left alone. Yet with these reminders I’m still left with more questions that I don’t believe we, as a society, will ever get answers to. The biggest one for me being, is it okay to crumble under the weight of this grief?
Life isn’t easy and now more than ever I want to make sure that I push myself to hold onto the people that I love a little harder. It’s okay to be afraid and it’s okay to not be resilient every day of your lives.
All I ask now is that we hold each other in our hearts as we move through this life. It’s not easy to just be present in these moments and you don’t know when it will be your last. Cherish not just your loved ones but every last person you share space with.
hose chilling words were Ryan Edward Bree land’s reply to his boyfriend, Kenneth Banks, 32, in a col lect, tape-recorded phone call to Banks while Breeland, 42, was in jail for assaulting him.
Banks had just told Breeland he wanted to end their relationship.
“No, that’s not what will happen”, said Breeland, according to homicide detective Grant Jobe who testified in the preliminary hearing.
“The only way out was death”, testified Jobe in quoting Breeland in the phone call.
On cross examination with Breeland’s attorney, Shonte Hobson, Jobe said Banks ended two of the calls with Breeland by telling him “I love you”.
On June 9, 2021, Banks’ bruised and beaten nude body was discovered in a downtown motel room in which Breeland was the registered guest.
Following two days of testimony, San Diego Superior Court Judge David Gill ordered Breeland to stand trial for murder on Nov. 3 as well as two counts of committing earlier domestic violence against Banks.
Breeland pleaded not guilty. A trial date was set for March 1, 2023.
Breeland’s attorney submitted the case to Gill without argument as did Deputy District Attorney Taren Brast and he ordered him to stand trial on all charges.
The tapes of the recorded phone calls were not played in court in order to save time but will likely be played at trial.
Photos of the bruised and battered body of Banks were shown on a large screen in court by Dr. Robert Stabley, the deputy medical examiner who performed the autopsy.
He said Banks died of “blunt force head trauma” and had brain damage.
Breeland looked up at the screen once to view his partner’s body, and then looked down. He never looked back up despite it being on
By Neal Putnam
the screen for hours, and he looked down during most of the hearing.
Banks had been punched in the face quite a number of times. Stabley said he had swelling, hemorrhages, brain bleeding, lacerations in his hair, contusions, and his frenulum in his mouth was lacerated.
Dorothy Sanchez, a housekeeper at the San Diego Downtown Lodge, testified she went inside the room after Breeland had checked out to discover a man under the covers in bed.
Sanchez said she tried to wake the man and had her supervisor with her when he tapped on the man’s shoulder and there was no response.
She discovered the man was “completely stiff” with “a bruised face”.
“I went outside to try not to throw up when I saw his bruised face and saw he was dead”, said Sanchez. “He had a black eye. He was not breathing”.
Sanchez testified other motel guests had complained about the couple’s loud arguments and they once were banned from staying there.
Jobe testified Breeland was the only person seen leaving the room in camera surveillance footage. “It appears he’s wiping off a knife”, said Jobe about one photo.
Other police officers testi fied about what Banks told them while responding to domestic violence incidents with Breeland.
Detective Casey Moss said Banks told her that Breeland threw a chair at him while they were staying at a Motel 6 on Jan. 13, 2021. Banks said he “felt dazed” when he was struck by the chair to his back.
Banks said Breeland stabbed him in the buttocks and punched him following “another argument about cheating”, said Moss, who added that Banks said his partner “had violent tendencies”.
Jobe testified that Bree land was easily located June 9, 2021, after the body was found because he was on parole and wore an ankle bracelet. He was arrested 6-7 blocks away from the downtown motel.
Breeland remains in the central jail without bail.
