LGBTQ San Diego County News Volume 1 Issue 19 , June 19 - July 2, 2009

LGBTQSD.NEWS

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

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LGBTQSD.NEWS

SAN DIEGO PRIDE & THE CENTER TAKE A STANCE TOWARDS THE SAN DIEGO POLICE AND ASK FOR REAL CHANGE P4

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE COMMUNITY FROM SAN DIEGO POLICE

LIEUTENANT DANIEL MEYER P3

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

FAMILY LETTERS CELEBRATING LOVE AND FATHER’S DAY DEAR MAXWELL AND CHASE,

O

n our first date, we bonded over having always wanted children. But that wasn’t something many gay couples were doing, as you would say, “way back in the late 1990s.”

After years of discussion and planning, and thanks to your loving surrogate, we finally realized our dream of becoming dads. We are forever a family thanks to you – and there is no bond stronger than that.

Max, you opened our hearts and made us see the world in new ways. We still see in you the little 2-year-old who loved rainbows and bright colors in everything he wore or owned. That’s still true today in your clothing, but also in your friends. You choose them like you choose everything – for being unique and interesting.

You are clear and focused about things that are important to you and are willing to trip in the process of achieving your goal. You are kind and loving, and quick to help when it is needed. You are supportive when things are tough and a life preserver when things are even more difficult.

Father’s Day Letters continues on Page 2

FIRST AMENDMENT to the Constitution of United States of America;

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

ENTERTAINMENT

COMMUNITY VOICES

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT Talks about the vidoe for his new song ‘YOU AIN’T BIG’ P11

CONVERSATIONS WITH NICOLE History of LGBTQ/Police Relations P5

POWERFUL BLACK WOMEN Let’s Talk About Racism P7

LIFE BEYOND THERAPY How to Have Sex: Now P8

An Open Letter to the Community from former San Diego Pride Medical Director JOSEPH SMITH P6

THE ART OF COMPASSION Finding your Voice throw Art P9

BIG MIKE & FRIENDS Marvin Garcia P10

OUT OF THE ARCHIVES Albert Bell P14

‘The Bunt Post with Vic’ and Stonewall Democratic Club partner for ‘PRIDECAST LIVE’ P13

AMBER ST. JAMES & STRAWBERRY CORNCAKES Talk Black Drag Magic and the improtance of support P12

NEWS

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FATHER’S DAY

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Father’s Day Letters continued from Page 1

Dear Poppy and Dad,

appy Fathers’ Day! Here is a letter of appreciation for you H both. I have learned everything that I know from the both of you. Whether it is cooking, how to manage my workflow, or just

work ethic in general, it has been learned from you. Even learning how to use the Wi-Fi in the house was from you two (thank you for that especially). I am so grateful for everything that you two have done for me and I would not have the knowledge or mindset that I have right now if it were not for you both. I am so happy that I ended up with not only one, but two great dads. I look back fondly on all of the different memories and experiences we have had over the past 14 years together. I am also very excited to make even more memories to come. I do not know where I would be today without the help and guidance from both of you and wonder if I would even have the same hobbies and interests. “I am me only because of you” – Richelle E. Goodrich. I love this quote because it really embodies what I think about you two and it is really true.

If either of you had decided to parent me differently, or make a different decision than you did, I would probably not be sitting on the sofa right now writing this letter. So, to finish off, thank you for everything that you have done, taught me, given me, and for everything in the years to come.

Love, Maxwell

Robert Gleason, Maxwell, Chase and Marc Matys (courtesy photos)

Chase, you have such incredible empathy for others. You carry your friends’ lows and work very hard to raise their spirits. Your friends trust you and confide in you, which is an outward sign of deep trust. You have an infectious energy and always make people feel comfortable. You use your cleverness during the tougher times to cook or bake, find a craft project to do, or help when things are busy. You are reliable and that is a quality that will take you far in life. You carve your own path. Sometimes, it may be hard to follow, but it is your decisions that lead others to grow and learn. It is we who must adapt in order to support you.

In pursuit of equality, visibility matters. We have always known that – and now you both know that, too. Changing hearts and minds happens one person at a time when they can see the authentic life of a single LGBTQ+ person, or a couple, or a child of LGBTQ+ parents. You have been leaders in showing your teachers that there are lots of different kinds of families, and in helping your friends and their parents see that loves makes a family.

Both of you have been powerful voices for equality, especially around the oft-oppressive role of gender norms in our society. Whether it’s holding firm to the notion that a boy’s favorite color can be rainbow, or that gender is a matter of hearts and minds and not parts, you are

leading the way to a world that sees gender as a spectrum and seeks to break down gender stereotypes and limitations.

And we are eternally grateful to the village – family, honorary aunts and uncles, teachers, friends, and mentors – that has embraced you, influenced you, and will continue to guide you as you grow up. When you aren’t sure what to do next, remember them.

Always be true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t be afraid to fail. Learn to adapt to new challenges. Listen to others and always seek to understand. Work well with others by sharing both responsibility and recognition.

Remember that actions and results speak louder than words. Make everything you touch better.

And above all, remember to always be grateful, but never satisfied.

The three happiest days of our lives – the days you each were born and the day we married – were unimaginable to our younger selves.

The same will be true for you. What seems out of reach today will come to pass if you are willing to see it, value it, and fight for it. It’s not just your opportunity; it’s your responsibility.

ou both have done so much for me during these 13 years I’ve been on this planet. Whether it was about how I identified or Y who my friends were, you loved me no matter what. You both have

We love you more than you will ever know, Daddy and Poppy

Thank you for always being there for me.

I love you, Chase

Dear Poppy and Daddy,

been role models for me. I look up to you because of how hard you both work to keep Max and I happy and healthy, and how much effort you put into being a part of our lives. Even though I may not show it or say it enough, I love you two so, so much. I love going on fun trips with you guys. In my future, I hope to be like you two.

I want to be as loving and caring to my kids as you are to Max and I. I want to do as much as you guys do for the community. I aspire to work as hard as you and to be as understanding toward others.

Even though I am a teenager and may not show it enough, I love you both so, so, so, so, so much. You both mean so much to me. I cannot imagine my life without you.

NEWS

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JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

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AN OPEN LETTER TO THE COMMUNITY FROM SAN DIEGO POLICE

LIEUTENANT DANIEL MEYER

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became a police officer to serve my community. Serve with pride, integrity and passion. I am proud of my 16-year career with the San Diego Police Department, and I wouldn’t change one day of this journey. The SDPD, in my opinion, is the elite. From proud community relations and service to the day-to-day work our officers put in, I am truly honored and appreciative of those I consider my family. That family consists of the people I come to work with every day and the communities I have strived to provide with excellence in policing.

I have had proud moments and I have made my fair share of mistakes along the way. After all, it’s what makes me human. This career has taught me to take the good with the bad moments in life and always seek to do and be better. Ten years ago, under the leadership of Chief William Lansdowne and Assistant Chief Shelley Zimmerman, I was selected to become the department’s LGBT liaison. I was excited to embark on a position which would make a positive difference in my community. I made a promise to myself, in that moment, that I would not relent in my efforts to continue to strengthen community relations and do the necessary but hard work to show my community how much compassion and love this department has shown me they have for their communities.

We have made several positive strides in that work. From creating policy identifying how SDPD interacts with LGBT individuals, to how our department will support LGBT employees in their process of coming out and transitioning. We have continued to improve on ourselves and created an environment that encouraged two employees to come out and transition on duty. I am proud of the work the San Diego Police Department’s Transgender Liaison Christine Garcia and I have done to make SDPD a more inclusive and understanding agency.

With that being said, I also recognize a need for change on a national level within community relations with law enforcement, specifically in the African American community.

Throughout those 10 years, I have felt a portion of my community express their frustration with law enforcement in general. While it has been concerning for me to know some of my community does not agree with working with law enforcement, and at times have refused to come to the table to talk, I have always pushed forward because I have known the work we are doing is important and imperative. The latest policy decisions excluding law enforcement are not new instances of exclusion. From being protested out of The LGBT Center to protests of law enforcement in Pride to San Diego Pride and The LGBT Center unanimously voting to oust law enforcement from the parade, their property and events, the difficulties have been aplenty.

These decisions have provided for a crossroads of sorts for me. I have a mixture of emotions, which have heavily weighed on my mind and my heart. While I recognize the decision made

by San Diego Pride and The LGBT Center does not represent the LGBT community as a whole, it does in fact reflect the opinions and standing of two of the most prominent and influential organizations in our community. San Diego Pride and The LGBT Center have made a clear statement in their actions. As LGBT liaison, I cannot support these decisions because doing so simply negates the amazing work done over decades.

Decades ago, an opposite argument existed.

That argument was fostered in disappointment.

Community disappointment that their Police Department would not participate in the Gay Pride parade. This was seen by the community as a lack of support for the LGBT community, rightfully so. Eventually, through community engagement and effort from both sides of the table, law enforcement began to foster those necessary relationships and walk hand-in-hand with the community in Pride every year. Additionally, we have had a long-standing relationship of cooperation and understanding with The LGBT Center. The decision to remove law enforcement from Pride and The LGBT Center quite simply provides for giant leaps backward in history.

Lately, I find myself at an impasse. The police officers I work with have accepted me and cared for me with open arms. In fact, the support I have felt from the department has been nothing short of impressive and inspirational. Unfortunately, I have not always been treated the same way by some members of my community, the one place I always felt should not support or condone the divisiveness that separates us as people. Some in the community only see me as a uniform and a badge. This was evidenced in that LGBT Center protest when a protester shouted, “We don’t care if you’re Gay or Trans. You’re still a pig to us.”

So here I am, at this crossroads. One in which I have a decision to make. To stand for what I believe is right, or simply push forward, sacrificing all the tireless work accomplished by myself and my colleagues in both communities. I can assure you I have made this decision with a heavy heart. I have decided to step down from the department’s position as the LGBT liaison. Thank you. Thank you to all who truly strived to make things better.

Times like these sometimes suggest a need for change. Christine Garcia will continue to serve the LGBT community as the Transgender liaison. It is time for another SDPD member to have the opportunity to serve the LGBT community as the liaison with a fresh outlook and with new ideas. I am encouraged and will support the needs of all communities and whomever the department chooses to take on the role as the LGBT liaison.

Letter to the Editor No doubt about it, there must be major reform in law enforcement, as what has been happening with this abuse of power (over hundreds of years) is disturbing, sickening, and must come to an immediate end. Is banning our entire law enforcement community from participation in LGBT Pride parades or booths at the Pride Festival really the route we want to take? Will we now ban our military from participating, since certain troops have committed war crimes? What about banning all Muslim representation from Pride, due to certain Muslims conducting terrorist attacks that have killed innocent people? Are we going to ban all Catholic representation from Pride, Lord knows about Catholic Priests molesting children? Our community has been fighting to stop being banned from so many institutions and activities for so long, do we really want to start doing the same to others? Let’s get all parties together and resolve our differences through communication, reforming our institutions to build a better union, and understanding the concerns of our wonderful and diverse San Diego community.

David – San Diego

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification.

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NEWS

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

LGBTQSD.NEWS

THE NEXT STEP IN THE SAN DIEGO LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER’S

COMMITMENT TO BLACK LIVES

Fernando Zweifach López Caroline (Cara) Dessert

STATEMENT FROM SAN DIEGO PRIDE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FERNANDO LOPEZ, JR.

ON LAW ENFORCEMENT & PRIDE On June 10, 2020 San Diego Pride sent a proposal to the Mayor of San Diego entitled Law Enforcement & Pride - A Path To Healing & Safer Communities.

We hope you will take a moment to read the proposal in its entirety before passing judgment.

If you agree with the proposal, we are asking organizations to add their name to a growing list of supporters.

Here is an excerpt from the first page.

PROGRESS, PROTEST, & PRIDE PROGRESS: For the last three decades, the overall relationship between the LGBTQ community and law enforcement has made incredible strides towards progress. Regional LGBTQ law enforcement agencies march in our Parade, have openly LGBTQ officers, retain LGBTQ advisory councils, created LGBTQ and Trans liaison positions, host an annual LGBTQ Law Enforcement Summit, and keep us safe at our events, marches, protests, and times of crisis. LGBTQ activists and law enforcement officers, many of whom are transgender and people of color, drove that change forward. The legacy of their work has built better policy reform, safer communities, and stronger relations.

PROTEST: The Black LGBTQ community, transgender community, and communities of color, however, feel left behind. For years, these communities have approached San Diego Pride and made public cries for support, as they attempt to explain the disparities they live through every day. Every year these calls for help echo with calls to protest or boycott Pride. These activists and community members believe we do not value their lived experiences. In 2015, the Pride Parade was delayed with a die-in led by trans activists of color out of anger at their lived disparity and Pride’s lack of responsiveness. In 2019, the year of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, saw renewed calls to protest Prides and direct action led by trans and people of color activists delayed

nearly every single major Pride event in the county.

PRIDE: The San Diego Pride organization finds itself in the middle of these two lived realities. The progress is real and important. The lack of progress for our Black, trans, and people of color communities is also real and devastating. For 50 years, Pride events have grown and brought communities together, but this one issue is tearing us apart. The recent civil unrest across the nation sparked by the recent killings of unarmed Black Americans have brought new light to this issue and is deepening the fractures within our community. Something needs to change. In the name of the lives and safety for everyone in our community, we need to find a path to come together, honor both lived realities, and heal. We hope to find that path together with you.

With Pride, Fernando Zweifach López Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs Executive Director San Diego Pride A PATH TO HEALING & SAFER COMMUNITIES San Diego Pride asks the City of San Diego to stand with us in support of our Black LGBTQ and ally community. We are asking you to join us in support of the following actions as a further step towards unity.

STEP 1: Law enforcement agencies will no longer have contingents in the San Diego Pride Parade or booths in our Pride Festival. This may be reassessed after the completion of Step 4.

STEP 2: The City of San Diego will recognize the San Diego Pride Parade as a free speech event and no longer bill the organization for road closures and safety.

STEP 3: The City of San Diego will immediately adopt the #8CantWait Campaign recommendations.

STEP 4: Support a phased approach to policy reform recommendations centering Black LGBTQ San Diegans.

Dear Center Community, June 15, 2020 was a landmark day in American history, as the Supreme Court of the United States held that employment discrimination against LGBTQ people violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which outlaws discrimination in the workplace on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. No longer in America can LGBTQ people get married on Saturday and then fired on Monday. The Civil Rights Act now includes LGBTQ people, who stand on the shoulders of the Black and women’s rights leaders who fought for protections. We celebrate this victory and we stand firm in our commitment to the work left to be done for equality– to fight for legal rights in accessing healthcare, at retail stores and restaurants, adoption agencies and public accommodations, and in the fight for racial justice.

In the midst of the COVID-19 health crisis, and this watershed moment in the fight for Black lives, this decision is heartening and gives momentum to the fight for equal rights for all. But we know the legal rights of all LGBTQ people won’t be secure until we end the systemic ways that racism oppresses and hurts Black people. As our country is in a national moment of reckoning, it is important for all of us – individuals, communities, companies, organizations, and government – to reexamine the structural ways we have contributed to not valuing, and in fact devaluing, Black lives.

For The Center, it is a time to continue to reexamine our own organization, and expand this dialogue with our Board of Directors, staff, volunteers and our broad community to do more than say that Black Lives Matter, but to actively work to be anti-racist in tangible ways and engage in actions to make it so. We have reflected deeply on what we have heard from our Black community members about how The Center can better serve the Black LGBTQ community, particularly in this moment of tension and trauma that surrounds law enforcement.

Last year, The Center heard from over 140 Black community members at our Town Hall for the Black LGBTQ Community. Many spoke of the pain and hurt that is caused when one does not feel welcome in our LGBTQ community, including at The Center.

Overwhelmingly, we heard that the lack of policy restricting the presence of armed uniformed law enforcement officers is a barrier to the Black LGBTQ community feeling welcomed at The Center. We value the bravery and trust that the Black community placed in us to speak their truth then, and since then, through the work of The Center’s Black LGBTQ Community Advisory Committee. We acknowledge the many times in our 48-year history that The Center has failed to welcome and value our Black community members. We apologize for those failures, and we pledge to do more in action.

As a social service provider, we center our work through the lenses of trauma-informed care. We hear the Black community say that we cannot provide critical services like counseling and support groups that serve victims of trauma, while also having armed uniformed law enforcement officers allowed in the building, which often re-traumatizes members of the Black community. As a social justice organization, we understand that we cannot

be truly intersectional until we center Black lives and the needs of the Black community to come together in spaces that do not include law enforcement.

The Center has long-existing policies that include prohibiting weapons on the premises of our facilities and only calling law enforcement into our facilities as a last resort or a true emergency. These policies will continue, and today we announce a new policy in addition. The Center’s Board of Directors has voted unanimously that beginning today, The Center will no longer allow armed uniformed law enforcement officers at Center facilities or at Center events, unless as a last resort or true emergency. This is not about good or bad individual law enforcement officers, but rather a systemic problem in law enforcement that devalues Black lives and creates an environment in which our Black community does not feel welcomed, and in fact strikes fear and trauma.

Our decision focuses on what armed and uniformed law enforcement officers represent to overpoliced communities that The Center seeks to serve. It also reinforces the truth, that while law enforcement is supposed to serve and protect us all, in practice, law enforcement has too often endangered the safety of our Black community through unwarranted stops and searches, excessive force, and in the most devastating cases, extinguished Black lives and Black futures. Several recent studies of the San Diego Police Department (SDPD)and the San Diego Sheriff’s Department conducted

by Campaign Zero and Voice of San Diego both identified clear evidence of discriminatory policing; SDPD stopped Black people at 219% higher rate per population than white people, and once stopped, Black people were more likely to be searched, arrested, and to have force used against them. Additionally, the data shows that anti-LGBTQ bias intersects with racial bias, resulting in the highest search rates for Black and Latino/a/x community members who police perceive to be LGBTQ. In order for The Center to fulfill its mission as a health and social service provider who believes in trauma-informed care, and as a social justice organization that seeks to value every person, we cannot serve the Black community in this moment when armed uniformed law enforcement officers are present.

The Center will continue to engage in dialogue over the coming weeks with our community, including our Black LGBTQ community leaders as to how to better serve the Black community, and what that means for our relationship with local law enforcement. All across our county, people, families, communities, organizations, and institutions are in a period of self-examination and reflection, and asking what path forward will create a new America, where Black lives do matter. We support San Diego Pride’s recent reflection and decisions, and call on all San Diego organizations to join us in reexamining structures, hiring, policies, partnerships, vendors, and implicit and explicit bias that prevent us from creating a world where Black lives truly do matter.

In solidarity, Caroline (Cara) Dessert (Pronouns: She/Her/Hers) Chief Executive Officer

LGBTQSD.NEWS

COMMUNITY VOICES

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

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Conversations with Nicole

Nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

T

he late Rev. George Walker Smith, who many have referred to as the “Martin Luther King of San Diego,” often called our city “the Mississippi of the West Coast,” especially during the reign of terror of former Police Chief Ray Hoobler (19681971). Hoobler was considered to be racist, homophobic, sexist and his police headquarters was nicknamed the “GESTAPO HEADQUARTERS” by many People of Color and Homosexual activists. You could probably count the number of police officers who were women or People of Color on one hand at that time.

During that era, the mayor of San Diego, Frank Curran, would not meet with Homosexual activists who complained of police brutality because, as he said, “there HISTORY OF is no Homosexual constituency in San Diego” — and he was kind of right because almost everyone was in the closet since Homosexual acts were illegal in California until 1976. Chief Hoobler’s police force was completely out of control, especially in the neighborhoods with People of Color and quarters, which received wide press coverage.

Homosexual hang outs.

Bill Kolender became police chief (1975-88) and The entire City Council was made up of under his tenure, and that of his successor Police Chief mostly old conservative Republican men. It Bob Burgreen (1988-93), the building of police relawas in these times of hate, criminalization, tions began with the LGBTQ+ community. Also, when and violence toward not only the HomoMayor Hedgecock was elected (with major Gay backing sexual community but also communities of and money), the City Hall doors were finally opened color that I became a Latino and Homoto the LGBTQ+ community and the first two openly sexual/Transsexual activist. Homosexuals Homosexuals were appointed to city commissions and in San Diego were being harassed and boards. Mayor Roger Hedgecock beaten by the San Diego actually gave out a Human Rights Police Department Day City Proclamation during our (SDPD) as well as in the Pride weekend, which was a major Black and Latino comstep forward from 1974 when atmunities. Gay couples torneys Jessop and Homann tried and Lesbian couples to get a permit for a Gay Pride were arrested for “lewd Parade from the SDPD, which they conduct” for same-sex refused and stated, “there will dancing in Homosexual never be a Gay Pride Parade in bars. Homosexual murSan Diego.” It was Chief Kolender ders and robberies were who established the first Gay never solved. Elected Police Liaison Committee, which officials refused to meet included Fred Scholl, Susan Jester with any of us — Tom and me. It was Chief Kolender Homann, Jess Jessop, who, in 1987, appointed Black and Gloria Johnson, etc. heterosexual police officer Matt Finally, Chief Hoobler Weatherby as the first official was forced to resign in liaison to the LGBTQ+ community. disgrace.

It was also under Chief Kolender During this time, that John Graham became the first Jessop and I organized openly Gay police officer to come Homosexual protests in out. And during Chief Kolender’s front of the police staSDPD Police Chief Bill Kolender was the first police chief to march in the tenure, the San Diego Police tion and the downtown SD Pride Parade.

Memorial, which stands in front of San Diego County Jail, the police station now on Broadwhere Homosexuals way downtown, was dedicated. And it was at the Nicky were often beaten. We organized a picket Awards in 1987 that a donation for the police memorial in front of the courthouse over the “crosswas given to the SDPD from the LGBTQ+ community dressing law” used to arrest Transsexuand acknowledged by Chief Kolender at its dedication, als and Drag Queens. There was a police which I attended. One time, when Chief Kolender and entrapment of Homosexual men in the I had lunch, I asked him why he had reached out and May Company restroom that resulted in a established a relationship with our LGBTQ+ commuGay teacher committing suicide because at nity? He replied, “Nicole, I am Jewish. Do you think I that time the Union Tribune would list the don’t know about hate and discrimination?” home address and occupation of HomoIn 1998, Sgt. Natalie Stone was the first Lesbian sexuals arrested for morals charges. Jessop police officer to come out and was appointed as liaison and I led a demonstration and picket of to the LGBTQ+ community. One day, I got a call from both the May Company in Fashion Valley Deputy Chief David Bejarano, who was one of two and the San Diego Union Tribune head-

LGBTQ+/POLICE RELATIONS

finalists to become chief of police. He wanted my support and endorsement and to call the mayor and council members. I said I would if he promised to appoint a LGBTQ+ advisory board and attend a reception with LGBTQ+ leaders and business people held at the home of Gene Burkard.

He said he would and he did.

Bejarano became the first San Diego police chief of Color, and I served as the chair of his advisory board. The first LGBTQ advisory board to the mayor of San Diego was established by Mayor Maureen O’Connor and I was elected its chairman. She also became the first mayor to walk in a San Diego Pride Parade and Chief Kolender also became the first police chief to walk in the parade followed by every police chief after him.

During Police Chief Bob Burgreen’s tenure, the Boy Scouts told the El Cajon Police Department to remove an openly Gay police officer from the then-Police Explorer Program. Chief Burgreen supported the Gay officer and pulled the SDPD out of the Boy Scouts program and he also stood by the El Cajon Police Department, which stood by their openly Gay police officer. The mayor of El Cajon that year was honored at the Nicky Awards.

The LGBTQ+ community and I have worked with Police Chief Jerry Sanders (1993-99), Chief Bill Lansdowne (200314), Chief Shelley Zimmerman (2014-18) and they have all had good relationships with the LGBTQ+ community.

The SDPD has more openly LGBTQ+ police officers than ever before with many still in the closet by their choice.

I have personally dealt with the last eight San Diego police chiefs and yes, there has been anti-Gay incidents but fewer

and fewer. There is now LGBTQ+ sensitivity training at the Police Academy and Sgt. Christine Garcia is the department’s current liaison.

Current San Diego Police Chief David Nisleit is one of our best allies and friends in the history of our city and took the time to do a “Pride Virtual Video” because San Diego Pride Executive Director Fernando Lopez asked him to.

Both Lopez and The LGBT Center’s Cara Dessert never asked to meet with Chief Nisleit before they issued their latest anti-police position. Last year, Lopez wrote a letter to Chief Nisleit and Sheriff Bill Gore asking them either not to have a law enforcement parade contingent or not to wear their uniform. The board made Lopez rescind the letter and apologize.

Dessert has not met with Chief Nisleit since December 2019 and has never requested to. Both say San Diego Pride and The LGBT Center never even held a community town hall meeting to invite LGBTQ+ San Diegans for their input.

I am absolutely in support of Black Lives Matter and my 50-year relationship and support of the African American community is a solid record dating back to the 1960s. I will continue to work and support better relations with the SDPD and police policy changes. I currently serve as the chair of the Sheriff’s LGBTQ Advisory Board and co-chair of the mayor’s LGBTQ Advisory Board.

I am proud to say I went to the first Black Lives Matter San Diego demonstration held downtown in front of the federal court building as well as the annual ceremony that same year at the San Diego Police Memorial on Broadway honoring police officers killed in the line of duty.

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JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE COMMUNITY FROM FORMER SAN DIEGO PRIDE MEDICAL DIRECTOR

JOSEPH SMITH

Y

es, I resigned from San Diego Pride after Law Enforcement was banned from participation. I was with San Diego Pride for nine years and served as the Medical Director. I traveled to larger Pride events to gain experience and came back to San Diego with knowledge of “what not to do” so we can make our event more safe and successful. Myself, with the help of my team, created an organization that is unique to only San Diego Pride. In doing this, we were able to save Pride thousands of dollars and reduce the impact on our emergency services and community. It is my belief that since we were hosting a great event, it is our responsibility to care for our guests in every way possible. We do not release people to the police who are unable to care for themselves, just as we do not overwhelm our local hospitals.

We take care of our own. We created a comprehensive medical plan, erect a field hospital staffed with doctors, nurses and

NEWS / OPINION

other medical professionals, created emergency response carts to curb any delay in care. Our medical team can contact and treat over 800 patients during Pride weekend, all in-house and for free. My team of over 120 volunteers and community partners, love our community and serve hundreds of patients every year. We do this not for monetary gain, we do it for love.

San Diego Pride has transformed over the years in to a celebration of diversity. One where all are welcomed, where we are all inclusive, and where we bring all walks of life to the table to celebrate our pride, diversity, our community and our friends and family around the world. We do not turn anyone away.

San Diego Pride, at the hands of Executive Director Fernando Lopez, have drawn a harsh line in the sand.

He has directly ostracized, uninvited, and abandoned our LGBT brothers, sisters, allies and supporters. This is unacceptable. With the stroke of his pen, he banned San Diego Law Enforcement from showing their Pride at OUR event. Not only has he abandoned members and supporters of our community, he has suggested that they be closeted, and march with no identifiable markings as to who they are. Isn’t that exactly what we fought against? Are we to ask that of our brothers, sisters, allies and ourselves?

We have worked decades so we no longer need to march with bags over our heads. Yet that is exactly what he is demanding from those sworn to protecting our community.

Most residents of our community are proud of our LGBT Law Enforcement officers.

Leaders, activists and advocates within our community have worked decades to improve and build the relationship of our Law Enforcement Partners and our government.

How can we allow an individual to rid decades of progress? Is not Pride about inclusion? Rather than drawing a line in the sand, we have the ability to pull resources and leaders together. We have the ability to say, here are our problems, here are our fears, let us help you improve our community, let us help you bridge the divide.

One rational for such a divisive move was individual fear. It is Pride’s mission to improve the lives of others and our community. Pride should be asking, “How may

we help you overcome this fear so that you don’t have to live your life in fear?” Let’s overcome this together. Another opportunity for progress missed. This is a tactic taken out of the Trump playbook. Divide!

These divisive actions are that of failed and poor leadership. Leadership is not telling people what they want to hear or making easy choices. Leadership is telling the people what they must hear, working hard to bridge divides, not creating them. Leadership is bringing everyone to the table to discuss a path for forward progress.

Fernando Lopez unilaterally decided to remove our LGBT Law Enforcement officers from marching and celebrating their pride. This then was approved by the San Diego Pride Board of Directors. This was done without a public forum or public input from the community-who they claim to serve. Fernando failed to consider the impact on our LBGT Officers, especially those who identify as People-of-Color.

Fernando and the Pride Board have violated their own Mission, Vision and Values: Mission: Fostering pride, equality, and respect for ALL LGBT communities locally, nationally and globally. VIOLATED. VISION: A world free of prejudice and bias. VIOLATED. VALUES: -Diversity: Being inclusive, accepting and respectful of the differences of people who share our values. VIOLATED. -RESPECT: Valuing others by accepting individuality and demonstrating courtesy and mutual regard. VIOLATED. Fernando and the Pride Board must be held accountable for their disregard for the community and bold-divisive actions. As community we stand for love, which is the message we have been trying to convey to the world for decades. This move to exclude law enforcement is not a result of the current civil unrest, but rather an agenda which has been presented in the past. This decision feels opportunistic and capitalizing on the current political climate.

We as a community must come together to love one another, to speak out on injustice and to coordinate and promote progress and change. We must be there to help build each other upward, to listen, to care and to overcome whatever is thrown our way. That is something to be proud of. That is how we can serve our community, with Pride. J.S.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619.241.5672 CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news Mike Rosensteel 619.865.2220 STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619.807.7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Amber St. James Big Mike Phillips Cara Dessert Chase Chris Azzopardi Dana Wiegand Daniel Meyer Erik Benson Fernando Zweifach López Jr Joseph Smith Kristine Mason Broadus Marc Matys Maxwell Michael Kimmel Robert Gleason Strawberry Corncakes Vic Gerami DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff.

SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email.

Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

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JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

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LET’S TALK ABOUT RACISM POWERFUL BLACK WOMEN Kristine Mason Broadus — Kristine Mason Broadus is an animal and human rights activist and an active volunteer in the San Diego community.

VP & co-owner of Puzzle Pieces Marketing, an agency providing services that amplify the social impact of nonprofits and brands doing good.

This article was originally published on PuzzlePiecesMarketing.com on June 9, 2020

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s a Black-owned business, it’s very important to us how organizations are responding to recent events spiraling from the blatant murder of George Floyd by the Minneapolis Police Department.

We’re paying close attention to public statements taking a stand against racism made by organizations with whom we partner, and those that have wanted our business and/or our membership. Some of these statements are weak, downright offensive, or just don’t exist.

Failing to say or do something isn’t OK. If it’s too hard to take a stand against racism and say that our lives matter, you’re sending us the message that our money doesn’t either. In seeing either the lack of support from the community or vague statements that have a huge “BUT” which follows with something like “Blue Lives Matter” makes it very obvious that there are some key points to touch on when it comes to racism in our country.

FEAR OF GETTING POLITICAL

Fear of “getting political” or having discussions that take a stand against racism on your social media or in any of your communications is part of the problem.

If you are anxious about what your peers may think about you if you stand against racism and on how intolerable racism is, then it is definitely the right time to take a closer look at your circle. There should be no reason that speaking up against what is wrong becomes a debate or infuses you with so many negative emotions.

You may have to get political if it means standing up for a human life. All lives matter will not cut it when that should already be a given. The reason “All Lives Matter” is offensive is because you are taking away the fact that Black lives have mattered less for 400 years in America. If all lives really did matter, George Floyd would not have been knelt on for almost 9 minutes by a policeman whose duty it was to protect him.

BE THOUGHTFUL

Time and time again, we have read statements that barely speak about the murder of George Floyd and all the other Black people that have been murdered. Instead, some are phrasing it as a “death” which implies that you, in fact, do not believe it was a murder.

Another slew of statements that are lacking thoughtfulness mention that they also support their local police department and the work they do each day. In making the decision to throw that into your statement, it gives the impression that you can’t just call out bad behavior and move on. You are being part of the initial problem by not allowing the statement to be about racism in our country, along with the blatant police brutality and murders against Black people in our society that have been going on for many years.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

No one can expect their Black friends or colleagues to be the spokespeople for the topic of racism, nor should Black people have to educate others on the history of racism against Blacks in America. When you are Black, it is enough to carry the silent burden around in the midst of your non Black confidantes.

Jane Fonda has come out in support of the Black Lives Matter (BLM) Movement. She wrote on her Instagram: “My heart breaks for what’s happening, for the pain and grief and rage caused by George Floyd’s murder. And grief for his family.

I beg people reading this to understand that his murder is a match thrown on the dry tinder of racism. While we condemn the acts of violence we are seeing, we also must understand that this is what can happen when people have suffered for decades, centuries and their pleas for justice have never been heard.” This statement made it very obvious where she stood immediately. She even went as far as to provide a list of books for others to educate themselves on how deep this laceration continues to hurt our entire country.

STAND AGAINST RACISM – PUT ACTION BEHIND YOUR WORDS

It is not enough to only be educated on the history of America that most of us would like to seal in an envelope and send off for good. The best next step is to take action against racism, police terrorism, and civil rights violations. Famous stand-up comedienne and star of the HBO series “Insecure”, Amanda Seales, is a serious advocate for Black lives and supporting the Black community. She has recently come up with a comprehensive list of resources that range from ways to take action if you do not want to protest to some thorough social media tips when sharing, posting, and commenting.

This list of 22 Social Justice Organizations to Support Right Now can help you in your efforts to support social justice and to offer solidarity to the Black community. In our long journey to help save Black and Brown lives, we came across the Know Your Rights Camp Legal Defense Initiative which gives legal representation to Freedom Fighters and files civil rights cases against police for their terroristic acts. Donating to this cause led by Colin Kaepernick is a way to help fight for victims of excessive force by police terrorism and civil rights violations.

THE WORK IS NEVER FINISHED

With the layers of pain, hurt, and heartache that are being revealed more each day, the absolute least you can do is to help spread the message of how others can come together, donate, protest, and have thoughtful conversations. Now more than ever, it’s crucial when trying to eradicate these toxic systems that have been built to destroy

us, that we educate ourselves and our communities. It is also crucial to meet people where they are. If you are willing, there is a way for everyone to get involved and support racial justice.

If you are interested in reading more articles by Puzzle Pieces Marketing, go to puzzlepiecesmarketing.com/ nonprofit-marketing-blog/

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LGBTQSD.NEWS

HOW TO HAVE SEX: NOW LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia.

Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

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s things begin to “open up,” what about sex? When will that “open up”? I am not an epidemiologist, but I’ve been reading a lot of medical/science stuff relating to sex lately, in addition to hearing how my friends and clients are having sex now.

Sex now — while we’re still living through the COVID-19 pandemic — requires us to be creative. A lot of the stuff we used to do is still considered high risk: touching, hugging, kissing; oral, vaginal, anal sex; and any kind of direct physical contact.

At present, the only kind of sexual touch that’s really considered totally safe is your own. And, as many of us have experienced, “masturbation fatigue” and “touch hunger” are real. You can only watch so many erotic videos and masturbate by yourself before it gets old…very old. So what can we do until it’s considered safe to touch people again? Here are some ideas.

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

CREATIVE/SAFE SEXUAL ACTIVITIES: • Phone sex: Hearing a sexy voice can be a wonderful turn-on. If you haven’t tried it, give it a chance.

• FaceTime sex: Add visuals to phone sex. The only downside is that the other person could be recording you.

• Parallel masturbation: Masturbate with

The Center

Is Here For You

With Food Programs!

The Center knows that food security is critical to the members of our LGBTQ community, especially now during COVID-19. The Center, in partnership with the Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank, continues to host two Center Food Banks per month to distribute nutritious and healthy food, using social distancing and safety protocols.

Food Banks are located in The Center’s parking lot at 3909 Centre Street, San Diego, CA 92103.

Senior Food Bank Tuesday, June 23, 2020 / 12noon–3pm You are eligible if you are low-income and 60 years or older. You can simply enroll in the program by applying in person at our site on the day of the event, or by calling the Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank at 866.350.3663. The Senior Food Bank takes place on the 4th Tuesday of every month.

Neighborhood Food Distribution Tuesday, July 7, 2020 / 7:30am–10:30am The Center hosts a distribution for the ‘Community Cares Project’ of the San Diego Food Bank on the first Tuesday of each month.

For more information, visit the San Diego Food Bank website at www.sandiegofoodbank.org or contact Sarah Merk-Benitez at 619.692.2077 x214 or smerkbenitez@thecentersd.org.

The Center Emergency Services: • Emergency Referral & Help Desk • Behavioral Health Services by Zoom Health Care • Individual Program Meetings & Check-Ins via Zoom • Virtual Support Groups • Critical Housing Needs • HIV Testing by Appointment • Food Resources

If you need Emergency Services, please call The Center at 619.692.2077 x 211

The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 www.thecentersd.org

someone but keep a safe distance between you. Be creative: you could start fully clothed and tell each other what items of clothing the other person can remove… and when.

• Fantasy/role play sex: We all have sexual fantasies, maybe you’ve never felt it was a good time to experiment with yours. Well, my friend, now may be the perfect time.

Two guys I know recently played out a fantasy where one of them was the “street hustler” and the other was his “client.” The client drove around the block where the hustler was walking. Finally, the client stopped and talked the hustler into the car to go home with him. A lesbian couple told me that they’d played out a fantasy where one of them was the “plumber” and the other was the “client” who hired her. Needless to say, they had a good time. Whether it’s daddy/boy, coach/ player, dominatrix/client… why not play out your fantasy (safely, of course)?

• Voyeur sex: A voyeur is someone who enjoys watching others masturbate, undress, or engage in sexual activity.

There are lots of erotic ways for a voyeur to consensually engage with their sex partner(s). Let some of your fantasies out of the box and see what happens.

• Dildo/vibrator play: Not only can you use the toy on yourself, but you can safely use it on your partner, too (wear latex gloves to avoid hand-to-body contact).

• Grindr/Scruff “chatting”: If you just want to feel sexy and desirable, go onto a hookup website and talk with other people. Let them tell you what they want. Tell them what you want. See where it goes.

• Circle jerks: Remember these from Boy Scout camp?

No? Well then, now’s your chance to create your own.

Have a few good-looking friends over, sit in a circle and jerk off together (uniforms are optional).

• BDSM sex play where there’s no direct skin-on-skin contact, e.g., flogging, sensation play with a blindfold, experimenting with paddles, tickling, handcuffs, masks/ hoods, latex, leather, chastity belts, etc.

This list is not exhaustive: be creative. Use your imagination. We’re far from being out of the COVID-19 woods.

We may be in for another spike (or two). Until there’s an effective vaccine, now is a great time to try erotic/sexual things you’ve only fantasized about.

Some of my clients and friends are having sex — oral, vaginal, anal — with people they know well. How well?

Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? What is your acceptable level of risk (see my June 5 column) when it comes to sex?

This is a question that no one else can answer for you — not me, Dr. Fauci or your best friend.

We’re all comfortable with different levels of risk.

Most of us know what we’re comfortable with and tend to not venture too far outside those parameters. Sexually, over time, this can get boring.

That’s why I’m bringing your attention to more creative forms of sex you haven’t (yet) tried. When direct physical contact isn’t safe, it’s time to use our imagination a whole lot more.

Enjoy your experimentation!

LGBTQSD.NEWS

COMMUNITY VOICES

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

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O

ne fateful day, these words of the past reverberated in the forefront of my mind as a sigh of despair left my body. On May 25, the world collectively viewed a snuff video and watched as a grown man had his life pressed out of him by the force of a knee.

Eight minutes and forty-six seconds in which a father, a friend, and son was humiliated and his existence extinguished. Another human stripped of life on this earth and added to an ever-growing list of Black people executed by police brutality; this one over a counterfeit bill. His name was George Floyd and he was merely one of the most recent catalysts in the movement about racial injustice.

Upon reviewing this terrifying ordeal, one typically begins to ask themselves the hard question, “What can I do?” Which I believe is a question many of us have struggled with over the past few weeks. I had to come to terms that I was unable to donate sums of money or even where to start if I could. With art being my passion, I decided to express myself in the best way I knew how — paint to canvas! Contrary to Oscar Wilde’s famous 1889 quote, “Life imitates art far more than art imitates life,” I believed there was a creative way to spread a message regarding these horrific events in attempts to do my part. I decided to imitate life! In a manic effort, overnight “Mama, I Can’t Breathe!” was created. On the morning of May 28, I released this piece and it spread faster than I ever could have expected. Typically I express my creativity with euphoric colors and fluid details but occasionally I will flip the “please everyone” narrative I have in my head and design a “think” piece that embodies the disparity of modern times in a nostalgic way.

THE ART OF COMPASSION

By Erik Benson

*NOSTALGIA: A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.

Everybody has a varied list of different experiences or things that take them to a place of joy. As a child, television was my best friend and I was utterly obsessed with Nickelodeon as most kids growing up in the ’90s were. There was one “Nicktoon” that stood above the rest due to the diversity of characters and storylines presented on the show “Hey Arnold!” This 25-minute feature presented inner city kids of all colors, sizes, class, and cultures going on mishap adventures through the fictional metropolis known as Hillside City. The show introduced us to Gerald Johansson, a witty and loveable Black character often disguised as the voice of reason to his best friend/main character Arnold. Gerald was an underrated realist with a prolific understanding of racial injustice at an early age. To sum it up, Gerald was “Woke AF.” You would commonly hear him say things to Arnold, who was shrouded in positivity, like “it’s real life. And in real life, you can’t always win,” or this pragmatic question: “Why do you always have to look on the bright side?”

To which Arnold responds, “Somebody has to.” He was such a beloved character that you formed a true admiration and would never want to see him in a life-threatening situation. That being said, I reimagined Gerald Johannson with a knee upon his neck gasping for air in place of George Floyd. This was an extreme attempt to bring some perspective to those who vow to look away. *COMPASSION: Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

Truth of the matter is, when a Person of Color dies at the hands of police, media sources often sensationalize any negative parts of the victim’s life while overlooking their possible path of redemption. They begin to paint the victim as someone who may have been difficult or in need of reform. Within days of his death, people began the defamation of Floyd’s character by digging into past tribulations. Character assassination typically follows suit in any situation like this as an attempt to not only make someone unrelatable but make the crime

Diego Corvalan (left) executes his first ever mural for #BLM with help from Erik Benson (right) for #Paintthetownwithlove protest on June 27th.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” – Martin Luther King Jr., 1963 excusable. Media swiftly worked on changing the narrative — with one credible source even calling him a “bottom denominator” in her now-viral video. None of this should defend the actions of the officer or be a death sentence.

The painting I made was a plea to understand the inhumanity placed on his neck that fateful evening and understand that even if you didn’t know Mr. Floyd, he was somebody’s Gerald.

He was loved, he was human, but most of all, unlike Gerald, he was REAL. After revealing this painting, as you would expect, I received some divisive messages and there I found my purpose in the movement.

One young Caucasian woman went so far as to tell me the painting needed discretion and the “uncover photo” suggestion. She took it upon herself to tell me it’s a trigger for my fellow Black community and she should have the choice to scroll past. Therein lies the problem: people too often find it acceptable and easy to look away. Until it is forced upon someone and they face that demon called reality, can one truly be considered compassionate?

The biggest representation of gaining compassion through representation is the case of Emmett Till. A teenager (14) beaten and

murdered beyond recognition in Mississippi only 65 years ago for whistling at a white woman (21).

The men who lynched this young man obviously were acquitted but his mother decided to take matters into her own hands. She had an open casket funeral that presented his mutilated body to the world, sparking the next phase in the civil rights movement.

The shock and disgust of what happened inherently made people face the disgusting truth of racial injustice. I was shocked to learn that the white woman admitted to lying about it on her death bed.

George, much like Emmett, is just another spark in a fire that’s long been burning.

Dr. King’s words still ring true 57 years later in which he states it’s what we do for others in a time of turmoil that truly matters most. But if you are stuck in the question of “What can I do?” as I once was, there is a simple

answer. Gain some more compassion. Take the time to understand human lives ARE being taken and that there is absolutely a racial divide in the country. Most of all, please for our sake, DON’T LOOK AWAY! That uncomfortable feeling pressing on your shoulders and sitting in your stomach… that’s called the truth and there are people who have to live with that feeling every day because God painted them a different shade.

With that being said, for one to say they “don’t see color” is not ideal. We must recognize that there are most definitely different colors in our nation but like some of the best paintings, it takes the representation of all colors to become a united masterpiece.

You can follow Eric on FB: Erik Benson Email: erikbensonarts@gmail.com Instagram: erikbensonarts

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BIG MIKE AND FRIENDS Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

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s the coronavirus continues to capture most of our attention these days, it has slowed so many of us down in our everyday routine. There are those in the entertainment field who earn some or most of their income by performing for live audiences. Many have taken to social media to continue their craft and show their talents. It is still not the same; there is nothing like a live audience to perform in front of. The adrenaline and high that our local entertainers get from their audience fuels these performers. We are extremely fortunate to have so many talented individuals especially in the San Diego LGBTQ+ community, such as singers, dancers, Drag Queens, musicians, actors and even great event emcees. As the coronavirus begins to (hopefully) slow down and our cities, states and country in general starts to reopen, hopefully our entertainers will also get the opportunity to go back to work. I think so many of us miss live entertainment with an audience — we are waiting for their return to the stage. When that time comes again, make sure you get a seat, so you do not miss the show.

One entertainer who has made a name for himself here in San Diego and especially in the LGBTQ+ community is Marvin Garcia, (stage name Pho King), an incredibly talented and energetic dancer who has probably danced on every stage that has had a show or major event — you name it and he has danced on it. The first thing you see when Marvin approaches you is his big and bright smile on his handsome, attractive face. There is no way you can overlook his masculine, in-shape body and how he makes you feel so comfortable with his sincere kindness when you are with him.

Marvin has a heart of gold and has used the last 13 years of his life teaching as a special education specialist. After graduating, Marvin — with his degrees in Liberal Studies and Dance (minor) — decided to go into the field of education because he loves working with kids. Marvin applied to various districts and got accepted into the San Diego Unified School District.

His work and dedication to teaching and nurturing got him noticed and was honored with the Classified Employee of the Year Award from his current school, Lindbergh Schweitzer Elementary. This award meant so much to Marvin. He told me, “My true reward is knowing that I am a positive part of their lives, having the privilege to work so closely with my kids and getting them ready for the real world as much as I possibly can. I love all my kids; in fact, they make me the better person just from what I learn from them every day. I am very blessed to do what I love.”

Marvin has lived in San Diego for the last 25 years, so yeah, after 20 years he feels like a native. His father was in the Navy (thank you to your Dad for serving this great country) and was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia. Then his mother went to nursing school, worked, and studied hard to becoming a registered nurse (thank you to your Mom as a first responder.) Finally, he moved to San Diego, California, which he now calls his home.

One just never knows what our lives have to offer and what we’re willing to accept as we grow as human beings. We learn and meet so many people as we get

Marvin Garcia Big Mike and Marvin

Nelson and Marvin

comfortable in our surroundings and build friendships in the process. It is our friends sometimes that will include us in things and opportunities that could change our lives hopefully for the better. That is actually what happened with Marvin. A good friend of his needed new team members to play in the Ultimate Gay Frisbee League he was a member of and invited him to join, which Marvin did. The interesting part was that the league was in Los Angeles, not here in San Diego.

The team he joined was called Yellow Fever and considered the most congenial of the all the teams in the league, because even though they were not the best, they were the most spirited.

Marvin never thought in a million

years he would meet his soul partner, Nelson, on this new adventure he had embarked on. Nelson and Marvin locked eyes on each other the entire day that they spent on and off the field.

After that day, they continued to see each other by traveling to a location between the two of them since he lived in Los Angeles and Marvin lived in San Diego. Therefore, the best solution they came up with was to meet in Anaheim.

Marvin got very clever because he really was falling for Nelson, so what better way to have an excuse to get to spend time together than to buy season passes to Disneyland, which included both parks. This began what has become so many fond memories they both have shared together. One trip he knew

was a test of their new relationship was the time Nelson’s car broke down.

They decided to spend the day at the park while his car was being fixed so he could get back to Los Angeles. Marvin told me, “I knew then we could battle through life together” and they have.

Three years after being together as a couple, they decided to live together in San Diego. It was definitely a challenge for both of them to understand each other even more, they went through so many adversities that they were willing to confront them together head on and learn how to help each other in a more compassionate way. Now, eight years later, they are so synergistically connected far beyond what they ever expected and excited for new journeys together.

Marvin loves to dance and has put his college dance minor to exceptionally good use over the years. In fact, during his college years, he started as a hiphop teacher at various dance studios in San Diego, including University California San Diego’s (UCSD) old Recreation, Intramural, and Athletic Complex (RIMAC) Arena. He was even part of a nonprofit hip-hop dance troupe called Urban FX. As Marvin would put it, he has dabbled in a little bit of burlesque when San Diego had its all-male boylesque troupe called The Tom Cats directed by Prince Charming. However, his burlesque career did not really take off until renowned Drag entertainers Kickxy Vixen Styles and Regina Styles started the House of Styles Show seven years ago at Club Numbers on Park Avenue. The group would backup dance for the Drag Queens and even get to perform their solos in front of an amazing crowd. Five years after the show, Kickxy started the all-male boylesque troupe Diamond Dogs at The Rail and Marvin even helped produced the show for two years when it was at the fabulous Merrow. Marvin currently is expanding his stage name Pho King to the world in hopes to help expand more Asian representation to the burlesque community.

It is not uncommon to see Marvin taking time out of his already busy schedule to work with the Imperial Court de San Diego, where he volunteers his time with the Drag Queens that are performing as backup dancers for certain causes around the community. It does not just stop there: He makes it a point to give his time to Sports for Exceptional Athletes, where he helps out athletes with capabilities that hinder them and is there to provide and service their performance level. On occasion, you will even find both Marvin and Nelson volunteering as a couple to many other causes as well.

I personally am so glad I met Marvin and Nelson at that Gay Pride so many years ago walking down the street after the parade had ended. Ever since, we have remained good friends. In fact, I have had the privilege of working with him on a few photoshoots over the last several years. He is always 100% professional and so easy and fun to work with. Marvin is very happy his family moved those many years ago to San Diego. As he puts it, “I love it here. It’s paradise, not just for the weather, but for the people I love and care for that are in my life, my work, and what I can do to give back to my community and the love I get to share with the man I love.” Those who know Marvin know and love how adventurous he is. He has become a staple in our LGBTQ+ community with his high energy, kindness, and willingness to be involved to better not only his own life but the world he lives in. So, thank you Marvin for making the rest of us feel like we also live in paradise by following your lead.

You can follow Marvin on his Instagram @PhoKing

ENTERTAINMENT

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RUFUS

WAINWRIGHT ‘YOU AIN’T BIG’ Courtesy of Mighty Real Agency

G

rammy Award-nominated singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright has shared a video for “You Ain’t Big” a song off his highly anticipated upcoming album “Unfollow The Rules,” out July 10 through BMG. Wainwright says of the song and video: “I originally wrote the song ‘You Ain’t Big’ about the strange fact that in the music business worldwide until recently (our estimation has fallen considerably), no matter how well you’ve done anywhere else, if you couldn’t make it in the heartland of the U.S., you weren’t really considered a true star. Think Little Richard, Elvis, The Beatles and Julio Iglesias. However, in releasing this song now — which references states such as Alabama, North Carolina, Kansas (where I have had the pleasure of playing shows) and even New York and California, all troubled places during this tremendously turbulent time nationwide — the term ‘You Ain’t Big’ has taken on additional meanings. The song at heart is apolitical.

Its vintage sound harkens back to the classical American country music sound of the ’40s and ’50s and with the help of opposing images in the video of how different life was for white people compared to black people in the 1950s, as it has sadly remained, I think it rings appropriate for this time and professes a certain truth.”

In addition to the video, Rufus has made available on his YouTube channel “Rufus Wainwright: Unmaking ‘Unfollow the Rules,’” a behind-thescenes documentary chronicling the extraordinary creation of his eagerly anticipated new album. The short film, directed by Jeff Richter of Earthquake Productions (Guns N’ Roses, Lenny Kravitz, De La Soul) features intimate interviews and discussions with Mitchell Froom, David Boucher, Petra Haden, Jim Keltner, Blake Mills, Rob Moose, David Piltch and Wainwright himself.

“I ORIGINALLY WROTE THE SONG ‘YOU AIN’T BIG’ ABOUT THE STRANGE FACT THAT IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS WORLDWIDE UNTIL RECENTLY (OUR ESTIMATION HAS FALLEN CONSIDERABLY), NO MATTER HOW WELL YOU’VE DONE ANYWHERE ELSE, IF YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT IN THE HEARTLAND OF THE U.S., YOU WEREN’T REALLY CONSIDERED A TRUE STAR.”

Wainwright’s ninth studio LP and first new pop album since 2012, “Unfollow the Rules” finds the artist at the peak of his powers, entering artistic maturity with passion, honesty, and a newfound fearlessness while remaining as creative, bold, and mischievous as ever. Produced by Mitchell Froom (Crowded House, Paul McCartney, Richard Thompson, Suzanne Vega, Randy Newman) at a variety of legendary Los Angeles studios — including Sound City Studios, United Recording, and EastWest Studios — the album serves as both bookend to Act I of an extraordinary career which, like “Unfollow the Rules,” began in the studios of Los Angeles, but also now as the first lines of a remarkable new chapter.

Inspired by middle age, married life, fatherhood, friends, loss, London, and Laurel Canyon, songs like the acclaimed single, “Damsel In Distress” and the powerful, album-closing “Alone Time” find the gifted singer-songwriter ready to tackle new challenges, yet compelled to confront his past by making sense of how he has grown both as a musician and the contended family man he has become.

“Unfollow the Rules” has already been met already remarkable praise from the critics, Mojo raving in a four-star review, “it is a relief to see Wainwright honoring his formidable songwriting talents with songs as luscious as those on ‘Poses’ or ‘Want One.’” And some of his recording brethren have weighed in as well. “This is pop music on a grand scale; sweeping, symphonic, unabashedly emotional and fearlessly agnostic in style and delivery,” says Sting, while Cyndi Lauper described the album as “Rufus’ ‘Pet Sounds.’ It sounds like a culmination of everything he has done. It’s a great album, catchy and intelligent.”

Connect with Rufus Wainright Official Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Instagram

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ENTERTAINMENT

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

LGBTQSD.NEWS

Adonyss Illuzion

Landa Plenty

Imani Zella

Vaughn Rush Gigi Masters

Avianna

Amber St. James

Give us a little background on you.

Amber St. James is the death-dropping, cartwheeling, split queen known for her revolutionary activist work in and out of drag and her entertaining highenergy performances. She is also the first ever San Diego Mx. Gay and the first ever Mx. International Pride — both of which are gender-neutral titles in the International Imperial Court System and the Imperial Court de San Diego.

She is also known for her amazing work building and sustaining the drag community at San Diego State University.

Strawberry Corncakes is a drag performer based out of San Diego, California. She is known for her fun, upbeat numbers but also known as the ballad diva of San Diego. She performs at almost every bar in town and her main goal is to spread self acceptance and respect for one another.

AMBER ST. JAMES & STRAWBERRY CORNCAKES TALK BLACK DRAG MAGIC AND THE IMPROTANCE OF SUPPORT

Can you tell us the idea behind the virtual showcase?

We wanted to create a virtual space for black art and innovation, as well as provide a platform for folxs to be able to tangibly support Black Queer folxs. In a time when it is so crucial that we create space and dialogue, we knew that art sometimes can speak the loudest, so being able to provide that opportunity and space just felt right.

What motivates your performances? Is there a message you want to send through your performance?

Amber: My message is always about telling a story

Kyle Leatherbury

Strawberry Corncakes

is so powerful and has the potential to create change even if just for a moment.

and taking the audience through a journey. My message may change depending on what’s happening in the world and what I want to make commentary on but for me, at the end of the journey, I always like to end high. Something that leaves the audience in high spirits and better than when they came in. I know that art and performance

What can folks expect during the show?

Folxs can expect a show that will not only delight them but will also make them reflect.

A show that could make them cry, a show that might make them prideful — but at the end of it all, a show that definitely shows the multiple beautiful facets of Blackness and art and creative creation.

Can you give us a list of the performers for the show?

Amber St. James Strawberry Corncakes

Adonyss Illuzion Imani Zella Gigi Masters Landa Plenty Avianna Vaughn Rush Kyle Leatherbury The showcase is a fundraiser, can you tell us the organization(s) the event will benefit?

This event is to benefit all of the amazing work of the San Diego Black LGBT Coalition.

How can people help and get involved?

Not only by tuning in June 26 and making sure to tip and donate, but by also making sure to follow all the great performers and the San Diego Black LGBT Coalition. Along with continuing to support, uplift, and fight for Black folxs even after the dust has settled and the protests have stopped because being anti-racist is a lifetime gig.

ENTERTIANMENT/PUZZLE

LGBTQSD.NEWS

JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

13

Q Puzzle

By Vic Gerami vgerami@kpfk.org

I

n commemoration of 2020 PRIDE MONTH, independent radio station KPFK 90.7 FM and “The Blunt Post with Vic” show are proud to announce a new partnership with the Stonewall Democratic Club, the nation’s oldest LGBTQ+ and feminist political group, advocating for progressive issues since 1975.

In collaboration, the organizations are producing “PrideCast LIVE,” an 11-hour marathon, on Saturday, June 27, from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. in solidarity with Global Pride and Black Lives Matter.

The daylong program will air live on KPFK 90.7 FM and livestream on KPFK.org.

For the special program, KPFK is transforming its logo and creating custom on-air content commemorating Pride and standing in solidarity with the Black community. Between the three collaborators, this broadcast will feature Pridethemed shows, exclusive interviews with leading politicians, Queer activists, and other high-profile public figures, artist spotlights, and a variety of fresh editorial.

“KPFK Los Angeles is proud to celebrate Pride Day with support from the Stonewall Democratic Club on Global Pride Day. We are committed to the communities we serve to provide news, information, stories, music, culture, and the arts. Please help us remain fearless by supporting us at KPFK.org,” said Kevin Fleming, KPFK program director.

The marathon will feature a variety of diverse shows by KPFK programmers, members of the Stonewall Democratic Club, and radio hosts from the community. Vic Gerami, the host of “The Blunt Post with Vic,” will produce and emcee the event.

He will also host the marathon’s opening show.

“This is my third and most important year producing KPFK’s Pride program, especially due to the recent murder of George Floyd and many other Black Americans who were victims of police brutality caused by institutionalized and systematic anti-Black racism. Pride 2020 is not Pride as usual; it is not a celebration, especially with our nation in turmoil while our president has declared war on Americans. With the current situation and an ongoing COVID-19 crisis, Pride 2020 is about solidarity with Black Americans and all other marginalized minorities. We will show the true meaning of pride on this 50th anniversary of LA Pride —resistance, activism, and resilience, along with our collaboration with the Stonewall Democratic Club,” said Gerami.

He added, “It is a natural fit for a station that is known as ‘radio powered by the people’ to partner with the country’s leading LGBTQIA+ political advocacy organization for this historic pride program.

‘The Blunt Post with Vic’ is proud to be a producing partner and bring a lineup of exciting and relevant shows covering pressing currents events.”

“The entire Stonewall team is thrilled to take both pride and political action to the Los Angeles airwaves!” said Ryan Basham, communications vice president of the Stonewall Democratic Club. “We’re hard at work collaborating with Vic

Gerami and KPFK on exciting, fun, and engaging programming that will help make this year’s Pride truly special.”

Stonewall President Lester Aponte said, “KPFK has been the standard bearer of quality radio programming in Los Angeles and has been instrumental in magnifying LGBT voices for decades. We’re proud to partner with KPFK and ‘The Blunt Post with Vic’ on what will surely be a one-of-a-kind event.”

About KPFK 90.7 FM KPFK is a listener-sponsored radio station based in Los Angeles. KPFK was the second of five stations in the non-commercial Pacifica Foundation network. The Pacifica Foundation was founded in the late 1940s out of the peace movement surrounding World War II, becoming the birthplace of a listener-sponsored radio.

KPFK has been broadcasting since 1959 over 110,000 watts, the strongest signal west of the Mississippi. KPFK continues to produce the majority of programs in-house giving it the flexibility to provide a platform for stories, news, music, and information to serve the cultural welfare of the communities in and around Southern California that you will not hear anywhere else. KPFK believes forging social change is a fundamental part of how radio can make a positive impact on communities. KPFK.org About ‘The Blunt Post with Vic’ “The Blunt Post with Vic,” with host Vic Gerami, is a prime-time national breaking and headline news program that airs live on KPFK 90.7 FM on Mondays, at 7 a.m. (PST). The show also offers analysis and commentary about national headlines, politics, and current events.

Gerami interviews a member of Congress and other high-profile public figures on each show and highlights a benevolent organization, such as a charity, a social justice cause, or an exceptional changemaker in the community. TheBluntPostWithVic.com About Stonewall Democratic Club The Stonewall Democratic Club is the nation’s oldest LGBTQ+ and feminist political group.

Since its founding in Los Angeles in 1975, Stonewall has been the home for progressive LGBTQ+ Democrats as well as straight allies.

Stonewall is committed to achieving equality for all by advancing progressive and feminist values at local, state, and national levels. Stonewall is an all-volunteer, grassroots, nonprofit political organization and is among the largest Democratic clubs in California. Stonewall has inspired the formation of dozens of sibling organizations across the country and is a leading voice for LGBTQ+, feminist, and progressive issues both locally and nationally.

Stonewall membership is open to all Democrats, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Join at StonewallDems.org

LARRY ON LOVE ACROSS 1 Mercury and Saturn but not Uranus 5 Branches of a family tree 10 Fey villain in _The Lion King_ 14 Big-time defeat 15 Shakespearean title start 16 Q to a Scrabble player 17 Pay your share, with “up” 18 Bishop’s hat, in Bristol 19 Of a rear entrance 20 With 35- and 49-Across, a comment about love

by Larry Kramer (1935-2020) 23 Talking bird 24 Committed to penetration?

27 All thumbs 29 Like some programs in gay studies 31 Make noise in bed 32 Go to the bottom 33 Physical opening?

34 Chemical suffix 35 See 20-Across 38 Contemporary of Bela 39 Gay Bob, for example 41 Scores for Patty Sheehan 42 Hold dear 44 Neck of the woods 46 Clean up Sarah Schulman’s Bohemia 47 Like a Mapplethorpe photo 48 Adriatic seaport 49 See 20-Across 55 Bizet opera title character 57 Cut of meat 58 Estimator’s phrase 59 Fashion designer Jacobs 60 Top 61 Backdrop for _Aida_ 62 _Blowjob_ filmer Warhol 63 Satisfied fully 64 Perfect serves from Mauresmo

DOWN 1 One place to stick it 2 Top drawer 3 Sex Dr. 4 Show boat, for example 5 Sing the blues 6 “___ boy or girl?”

7 Greek tale 8 Inside diameter 9 Former New York Liberty player 10 _American Idol_ contestant’s goal 11 Fairy tale with ugly stepsisters 12 Home st. of Harper Lee 13 Theology subj.

21 Laid-back sort 22 _Xtra_’s prov.

25 Have oral sex at a restaurant?

26 Woodworker’s tool 27 Protected from the elements 28 _Blithe Spirit_ playwright 29 AnaÔs Nin account 30 Obligation, in court 31 Come slowly 32 “Beat it!”

36 Ted Allen and others 37 “If ___ Would Leave You” 40 Closet tendency 43 “Grey’s Anatomy” character named for a state 45 Tyler of _Lord of the Rings_ 46 Went lickety-split 48 Keep moist in the kitchen 50 Marlene’s role in _Blue Angel_ 51 The way you walk 52 McCormack in a reboot 53 Man, as a cruising goal 54 Ballet supporters 55 “Yankee Doodle Dandy” start 56 Word that connects Dick to Dyke

Solutions on page 14 QSyndicate.com

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JUNE 19 - JULY 2, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 19

COMMUNITY VOICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

ALBERT BELL: RADICAL FAERIE

GAY LIBERATION AND POLITICAL ACTIVISM DURING THE AIDS CRISIS

OUT OF THE ARCHIVES Dana Wiegand —Lambda Archives, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to collecting, preserving and teaching the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in San Diego and the Northern Baja California region, is located at 4545 Park Blvd., in University Heights. To learn more, stop in or visit their website at lambdaarchives.org.

A

lbert Bell was born on Feb. 27, 1950 and began his journey as an out Gay man early in life. Bell came out to his parents as a teenager and began his official career as a radical Gay activist at the age of 20. In 1970, Bell took part in founding an early Gay liberation group in San Francisco and shortly after founded Gay student unions at San Francisco State University and San Francisco City College while working on Harvey Milk’s campaign.

Around 1975, Bell moved from the Bay Area to San Diego where he became one of the early directors of The Gay Center for Social Services and volunteered for some of Lambda Pride’s earliest events; he would serve on The Center’s board of directors for the next seven years. Around this time, Bell became involved with the San Diego Democratic Club, an LGBT political organization that supported and campaigned for LGBT candidates like Toni Atkins and Chris Kehoe, informed the LGBT community on political matters affecting them, and worked to increase LGBT voter turnout. In 1980, Bell attended the first spiritual gathering of the Radical Faeries (Faeries on the Frontiers of Gay Consciousness). During that meeting, he developed the term “homospiritual” and received the inspiration for his self-help course of the same name. Bell’s “Homospiritual: A Gay Journey to SelfEsteem” course was attended by hundreds of Gay male San Diegans and would eventually be compiled into an unpublished book. The course aimed to empower Gay men and reinforce that society’s negative and prejudiced views of them had nothing to do with the reality of who they were, stating that “Gay people have been identified by others for what they do with their genitals rather than by the totality of who we are.” The societal oppression and condemnation of the LGBT community created a widespread internal belief for many that being Gay meant there was something wrong with you; Bell hoped to show these men that life as a Gay man was something to be celebrated, not ashamed of.

After the initial devastating outbreak of the AIDS epidemic in the early 1980s, Bell’s focus shifted from Gay liberation to radical, hands-on HIV/AIDS activism. After Gay men were prohibited from donating blood, he became one of the founders of the Blood Sisters, an organization in which Lesbian members donated their blood to the San Diego Blood Bank in solidarity with their Gay brothers that were afflicted with HIV/AIDS. The Blood Sisters also participated in a needle exchange in hopes of preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS amongst those who injected drugs; they gave out clean needles to people who used intravenous drugs in exchange for their used ones. Bell began working for San Diego County as an HIV/ AIDS health advisor where he provided essential services such as counseling, confidential HIV testing, and HIV/AIDS education. In 1987, Bell established Our House — the first residential living facil-

Above: Albert Bell Below: ALbert Bell and Nicole Murray Ramirez Photos courtesy of the Lambda Archives

ity for people with AIDS in San Diego, co-founded the San Diego chapter of ACT UP, became a founding member of the AIDS Assistance Fund, and was one of the first people to donate funds and collection materials to the Gay and Lesbian Archives of San Diego.

At the 1987 March on Washington — a large demonstration against the government’s failure to properly address the AIDS epidemic — Bell was arrested on the steps of the Supreme Court building alongside fellow San Diego LGBT activist Jess Jessop and many other protestors. Bell was passionate about enabling Gay and Lesbian voices to be heard and creating change; one prime example of this was Bell’s public confrontation with Ed Quinn. In October of 1987 at an “ask the media” event, Bell questioned San Diego’s KGTV Channel 10 news anchor Ed Quinn about why the 1987 March on Washington was not receiving as much coverage as other topics. While ABC anchor Peter Jennings and KGTV journalist Michael Tuck sided with Bell, Quinn thought Bell’s statement was without merit.

Bell retorted that the march only got a minute and a half of coverage whereas a segment about the Loch Ness monster received more than four minutes, to which Quinn replied, “Maybe there’s more interest in the Loch Ness monster.”

The audience quickly booed Quinn, and Jennings stated: “I agree with Albert. We are still living in a pervasively homophobic society.” Jennings held a meeting with Bell and local news station executives shortly after the incident which resulted in monumental changes in the way that Lesbian and Gay issues were covered by local television reporters.

Albert Bell remained dedicated to bringing about political change for the betterment of Gay and Lesbian people until his last days. In 1988, Bell became the co-chair of the Gay and Lesbian Caucus — a position he would hold until 1990 — and was elected as the director of San Diego Walks for Life. In 1992, he served as a delegate to the Democratic Convention in New York City where, as a person with AIDS, he was able to bring the discourse about the AIDS epidemic to a national platform. Shortly before his death, Bell was honored by ACT UP San Diego when they presented him with the very first Albert Bell Award for Outstanding Achievements in AIDS Activism in a private ceremony inside of his home.

A radical activist to the end, during his decline due to AIDS-related illness, he self-penned his own obituary, citing his cause of his death as “government sponsored genocide” due to the government’s lack of response to and mishandling of the AIDS crisis.

Albert Bell passed away in his home on Nov. 27, 1993 at the age of 43.

PUZZLE SOLUTION

LARRY ON LOVE

FROM PAGE 13