lgbtqsd.news
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
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LGBTQSD.NEWS
COMMUNITY vOICes
News
Sparkles & The Chef From Freshii to Caramel Candy P16 Time to Draw the Lines for Fair Representation P13
conversations with nicole The Legacy of Harvey Milk P7
bUsINess PrOFIle
trans talk with connor Trans Awareness and Remembrance P10
Hills Wine and Spirits P14
Big Mike & Friends Featuring Stuart Schwartz P8
liFe Beyond theraPy The Joy of Getting Rid of Stuff P9
Pozitively Michael New Meds, Who This? P12
PUblIC servICe
NC News
city attorney news Removing Guns to Protect Domestic Violence Survivors P11
COUrT News
a note FroM toni Native American Heritage Month P6
LGBTQIA+ Advocacy leads to more relief for Non-Profits in Oceanside P18 Gunman at Hillcrest restaurant to get 49 years P19
US Navy Secretary to atteNd
UsNs HarveY MIlk chriSteNiNg November 6 By San Diego County News Staff
OUT OF THe ClOseT
thrift Store maKeS itS SaN diego debUt a chat with Store maNager
PeTer Ibarra By Cesar a. reyes
G
he Covid pandemic has completely changed the traditional Navy ships christening and launching procedures, but this Saturday, November 6th the USNS Harvey Milk makes its historic launch by being the first Navy vessel named after an LGBTQ icon and hero, San Francisco Supervisor, and proud Navy Veteran Lieutenant Harvey Milk. The Secretary of the Navy, Carlos Del Toro and US Senator, Dianne Feinstein will be in
attendance along with the man who currently sits in Milk’s San Francisco City Hall seat, Supervisor (District 8) Rafael Mandelman along with former Supervisor Bevan Dufty who also held the historic City Hall seat. Former Supervisor David Campos, who led the successful effort to name one of San Francisco Airport terminals after Harvey Milk, will also be in attendance.
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KicK-off the holidayS by beiNg creative; raiSe fUNdS to SUpport ‘beiNg alive’
FIrsT aNNUal FesTIval OF Trees saN DIegO By Big mike Phillips
O
One of my favorite times of the year is the holidays. As a community, especially our LGBTQ¬+ community, we are always there to help make this time of year a little better for those who may have nothing. I love our annual blanket and jacket drives, Thanksgiving dinner, and toy drives just to name a few. Well, it is already happening with the hard work of my good friend Bobby Gordon.
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rowing up in the community you develop friendships, acquaintances and sisterhoods with folks who, even if you don’t see often, you cheer for their success and are elated that they are making a difference wherever they go. One such individual is Peter Ibarra (aka Snowflake – but more on that later). We started our nightlife journey around the same time and his happy spirit is infectious. Running into him at any local establishment is always a treat, but I was very excited when he told me he was in training for a new position with a company that is finally opening its doors in San Diego! AHF (AIDS Health Foundation) previously located on 4th Avenue is moving to be a part of a relationship like no other in town. AHF and Out of the Closet are opening their doors at 3580 5th Ave, San Diego 92014 (just one block south from The Loft). The newly renovated two-story building will be home of the Out of the Closet resale shop on the first floor where folks will be able to buy secondhand goods and brand-new items with a percentage of each purchase helping with AIDS services. On the second level AHF will provide free and private HIV testing, care, and a specialized pharmacy all in one spot.
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out of the Closet continued from Page 1 We sat down with Peter and talked more about the grand opening and all the exciting things that Out of the Closet and AHF are bringing to town. Tell our readers a little about yourself. Where are you from and how long you been in the community? I’m originally from EL Paso TX. San Diego has been home now for 20 years and Hillcrest is where I Live, Laugh and Love! Will your alter ego and drag persona Snowflake come out to be a part of the Out of the Closet experience? Absolutely! Snowflake is gearing up to not only continue performing at some of our local bars and clubs but also bring about partnerships between them and Out of the Closet! I want to fundraise, educate, and bring attention to the needs of our community. Be on the lookout for some of our affinity groups and any events they have planned to participate in! For folks who have never been to an Out of the Closet shop, can you expand on what the mission of the organization is all about? We are not just a thrift store, but also more of a means for our community to give back while shopping and finding great items for themselves. When you shop at Out of the Closet, 96 cents of every dollar collected goes directly to fund AHF HIV/AIDS programs and their new housing services, as well as an onsite pharmacy and free HIV testing! I mean REALLY How GREAT is that!! What can folks find when they shop at Out of the Closet? Our community will be amazed at what they will find in our Out of the Closet shop! From apparel to jewelry,
furniture, books, music, and home decor, there is really nothing you won’t find. And because we are based out of Los Angeles you can expect to find many NEW items at crazy low prices! What makes the experience at Out of the Closet unique, especially with having AHF right above the shop? It really is a one stop shopping experience. Not only can you shop, but you can also pick up your prescriptions at our pharmacy and visit our Wellness Center. It’s such a beautiful space and who wouldn’t want to, again, give back to our community by shopping and getting their prescriptions here! If people want to donate, how can they do so? Donations are received in the rear of the building. Our hours for donations are Mon. – Sat. 10AM – 7PM and Sun. 10AM – 6PM. When you visit our donation site you will see pink bins where you can place your items. And if you wish we can give you a receipt for your tax purposes. You will also see a sign that will point out some items that can’t be donated. Now if you have large items you wish to donate you can call (800) 558-8220 to schedule a free pick up. Any fun news you want our readers to know? I can’t wait for all to visit the first Out of the Closet San Diego store and pharmacy! We have an awesome rewards program and will continue to offer more perks to our community. We currently have a giveaway for a Vespa that you can check out at the entrance of our store! To enter to win all you have to do is visit our Wellness Center upstairs and take a free HIV test. And remember 96 cents of your dollars spent here goes directly to provide services and support to our community. See YOU soon!
Peter Ibarra (photos by Cesar A Reyes)
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uSNS Harvey milk continued from Page 1
Harvey Milk (courtesy images)
“A historic launch by the first Navy vessel named after an LGBTQ icon and hero” The official San Diego delegation will be led by Mayor Todd Gloria. Also expected to attend are City Council President Dr. Jen Campbell, City Council President pro tem Stephen Whitburn, former Congressmember Susan Davis and her successor Congressmember Sara Jacobs. Harvey Milk was stationed in San Diego in the 1950s and his working relationship with longtime Latino and LGBTQ activist, City/ County Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez during the 1970’s left an ever-lasting impression on Ramirez as he led a successful national letter writing campaign that resulted in the Harvey Milk US Postage Stamp, and now the USNS Harvey Milk. The Milk Family itself will be well represented by Harvey Milk’s nephew Stewart Milk, Founder of the Harvey Milk Foundation who will also be speaking on behalf of the family. San Diego also holds the distinction of being the first city to name a street after Harvey Milk through the leadership of Murray Ramirez and then City Councilmember Todd Gloria. Salt Lake City, Portland, Miami, and Paris, France have all followed suit. Commissioner Murray Ramirez gives much credit to the 70 city chapters of the International Imperial Court System which was founded in 1965 by World War II Veteran Jose Julio Sarria who was first to introduce Ramirez to Milk in the early 1970’s. The invitation list and attendance to this event has been greatly reduced because of continued Covid-19 restrictions and precautions. While Commissioner Murray Ramirez had plans for a grand celebration including dancing on the pier, fire-
US Navy Secretary Carlos Del Toro (courtesy image)
works, and even The Village People singing “In the Navy”, the focus now is attendance of LGBTQ Veterans including 91-year-old Navy Veteran Frank Stefano, Marine Veteran Bob Lehman (Founder of American Veterans For Equal Rights) and other LGBTQ Veterans such as Bridget Wilson, Jerry Oilno, Will Rodriguez Kennedy, Terry Sidie, Joseph Rocha, Morgan Hurley, and Veronica Zerrer.
“This Saturday’s historic christening of the USNS Harvey Milk should be about Lieutenant Harvey Milk‘s life, accomplishments, public service and the Milk family, as well as LGBTQ Veterans and Active Duty Military,” stated Commissioner Murray Ramirez, “and when it comes to LGBTQ Veterans representation, I have been working with NASSCO officials and the State Senate President pro tem Toni Atkins to make this possible.” The christening can be streamed live via https://nassco.com/ harvey-milk-launch%20 stream/ or https://YouTube. be/AcNevEJyOv4 A celebration for the entire community is being planned for Saturday night, November 6th at Rich’s San Diego nightclub with a special invitation to all LGBTQ Veterans and active duty who will receive commemorative mementos of the occasion. The event will also be a benefit for the Harvey Milk Foundation.
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Festival of Trees continued from Page 1 Bobby is a passionate member of our San Diego LGBTQ+ community with a long history of volunteering, serving on non-profit boards, fundraising, organizing, professional public speaking, hosting events, and working in marketing and communications. He currently works as a VJ (video-DJ) and hosts Big Gay Trivia at The Rail, Big Gay Sing Along (movie-musicals) in the theatre, and as a guest DJ/VJ at various other locations (e.g. The Hole in the Wall, Urban Mo’s). Bobby met with me to discuss his idea and I love supporting people in our community who make a positive difference. This is how it works: As this will be the first annual Festival of Trees San Diego, they will be auctioning artificial holiday trees and delivering them to the winners’ homes following the event! The event will also feature a robust Silent Auction and a Travel Raffle. The winner of the Travel Raffle will get a 6–8 night cruise out of the Port of L.A. in 2022. Bobby also has a few other holiday surprises for everyone who attends. The event committee is hosting this early in the season as the holiday kick-off event for Hillcrest and the LGBTQ+ San Diego community. Having this event early in the season let’s winners get their trees, decorations, and other items from the Silent Auction as early gifts before they’ve even begun their holiday shopping, and having trees delivered to winners’ homes is great timing for them to kick off the holidays without having to lift a finger to set up their own tree! They have encouraged our trees sponsors (about 20 to date) to set up their trees the week prior to the event in their businesses or restaurants/bars to help promote their involvement. The committee will be photographing and taking videos as it gets closer to promote all our sponsors and their creativity in advance of the event, promoting on social media to involve the community before the event. Inside OUT was the natural and logical place to host, as they will display the trees the week leading up to the event, so potential bidders can get an idea of which trees they may want to take home with them. Tree themes will be shown and announced online the week of the event. Bobby is so excited to be sharing time, ideas, and work with some amazing and talented members of our community. As he told me, “I’ve been lucky enough to pull together who I call “local heroes” to help make this event a reality in its first year.” The event will be co-hosted by Moe Girton and the fabulous Miriam T. Their core committee members include Benny Cartwright, Jarrod Clever, Mark Schmidt, Joshua Simmons, and Joshua Yeagley. A huge thank-you to all of you for your time and hard work. Inside OUT is where the event will be held, Saturday, November 27, 3-7PM, and their manager, Paris, and all of Mo’s Universe have been so very generous in
Moe Girton, Mariam T and Bobby Gordon (photos by Kristofer Reynolds)
supporting this event! There are so many businesses that have generously become inkind sponsors, but their major and core financial sponsors are: Coldwell Banker West Foundation (Travel Raffle underwriting sponsor); Copy Cove (underwriting printers); The Hole in the Wall; Jason Coleman Homes; and The Merrow. Attendees will find trees with very creative and unique themes from about 20 local businesses including most of Mo’s Universe locations, Red
Dress, Flick’s, Uptown Tavern, PECS, The Hole in the Wall, Humanity! Sir & Son, Krave Dave Events, Number One, The Rail, Starbucks, Coleman Homes, and other local designers. Many local organizations have offered to help promote and volunteer, including Hillcrest’s newest Kiwanis All-Inclusive Club and the Tom Homann LGBTQ+ Law Association. The first annual Festival of Trees is a cocktail-andmingle event with no assigned
seating, featuring signature and holiday-themed cocktails, charcuterie-style hors devours, and a unique soundtrack of remixed holiday music favorites provided by your very own DJ and event co-host, Bobby Gordon. All the expertly decorated and designed trees will be on display with signage explaining their titles, themes, and sponsors. The robust Silent Auction will also be happening throughout the event. The Travel Raffle will be limited to one hundred tickets sold at $100 each and will be the grand prize drawn at the end of the event. With such a limited number of tickets sold, odds are pretty good. Travel Raffle winners need not be present to win, so for those who are out of town that weekend may still support the beneficiary through purchasing Travel Raffle tickets. The event committee is very excited to welcome their special guests, which will include San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria, City Council President Pro Tem Stephen Whitburn (District 3), RuPaul’s Drag Race AllStars winner Chad Michaels, Santa, Mx. Claus, and a few of Santa’s naughty elves. Watch out there will be a few other surprises planned for those in attendance. ‘Being Alive’ was chosen unanimously by the planning committee as their beneficiary this year. They all agreed that ‘Being Alive’s’ comprehensive, end-to-end HIV/AIDS-related services in our community
was the right fit for their first annual Festival of Trees, and a rallying point of pride for our LGBTQ+ community. The HIV/AIDS epidemic still affects our community every day, and it’s Bobby’s personal, along with so many of us, hope that this event can help support those locally in our community in need through Being Alive’s various initiatives, programs, and services. I personally am looking forward to this new and creative event to help raise much needed funds and help change lives in the process. I hope to see all you there.
Event Website (and where tickets may be purchased): https://festivaloftreessd.org Instagram: @festivaloftreessd Facebook: /festivaloftreessd YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ channel/UCIxioFcRnN4QOXLtlyESFBw Facebook Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/419193506010456 Saturday, November 27, 3-7PM, Inside OUT Contact Bobby Gordon, Chair, Festival of Trees 2021 619.630.0769 festivaloftreessd@gmail.com
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LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458
a NOTe FrOM TONI
PUBLISHER Terry Sidie
Toni g. atkins
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619.241.5672
—Toni G. Atkins represents the 39th District in the California Senate. Follow her on Twitter @SenToniAtkins.
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR JP Emerson editor@lgbtqsd.news
I
t’s November, and in our house that means a couple things. First, the witch’s hat goes back into the attic for another year, along with the memories of so many adorable kids celebrating Halloween while having fun and being safe. Our first milestone in November is the start of Native American Heritage Month. It’s an important time for us to remember that so much of the Native experience has been erased or replaced by happy myths that don’t match reality. COVID-19 shined a spotlight on the realities and disparities regarding Native communities’ access to health care, recent news stories have highlighted the tragic and shameful cases of murdered and missing Indigenous women that have gone unsolved and ignored for far too long, and the horrific discoveries of children’s bodies at former Native American boarding school locations in the U.S. and Canada cry out for further investigation—and for justice. I do have to say how pleased I am as we honor Native American culture and contributions this month, that this Thanksgiving, for the first
COPY EDITOR Brittany Berger iceberger@gmail.com SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news 858.886.9458
time, America’s public lands are being overseen by a Native American—Interior Secretary Deb Haaland, a member of the Pueblo of Laguna and a 35th generation New Mexican. Of the many, many things I am thankful for this month, the veterans we honor on November 11 are top of the list. Coming from a military family and representing a district with a long and proud history in the defense of our nation, I am committed to ensuring our veterans get the respect they deserve and receive the services and benefits they have earned—especially having a safe, decent place to call home. Later on in the newsletter there’s some good information on the gains the Legislature was able to make for veterans this year—a righteous cause I will always
keep on the front burner. Speaking of burners, do you have a favorite you’ll be warming up this Thanksgiving? A Twitter poll shows the front right is people’s favorite with 54% of the vote, while front left is a strong contender with 36.5%, The back burners, well, they weren’t all that popular, with 4.7% each. When we do our Thanksgiving cooking this month, let’s all be sure to thank the more than 5,000 farms in our region that produce a wide range of commodities from fruits, vegetables, and nuts to beef, pork, and poultry. According to the latest annual crop report, the bounty produced by our farmers resulted in a $1.8 billion economic impact in our region. As we move closer to the start of the next legislative ses-
sion in January, my colleagues and I will continue working to help ensure more families can gather safely for all their celebrations, so more veterans and all Californians will be able to have a home for the holidays, and so our society can focus less on myths about Native Americans bringing pies to Thanksgiving and more on the work that must be done to bring missing and murdered women and children home to their families. Though that work is never easy, it is one of the things I am most thankful for this month and every other month—and I am grateful to you all for that privilege. Jennifer and I wish you all the best this Thanksgiving.
STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619.807.7324 WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Allan Acevedo Big Mike Phillips Connor Maddocks David Bame Mara W. Elliott Michael Guadarrama Michael Kimmel Neal Putnam Toni G. Atkins
DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every first Friday of the month. © 2021. All rights reserved.
OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff. SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email. Copyright © 2021 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.
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THe legaCY OF HarveY MIlk COMversaTIONs wITH NICOle
Nicole Murray ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.
I
am often asked why I have been such a staunch advocate and leader when it comes to the legacy of LGBTQ icon Harvey Milk these last four decades. First of all, I loved history and politics in school and was a member of the debate team and the editor of my junior high school newspaper “The Inkwell” and ran for student body council where I was elected Chair of the Teenage Republicans (they called us tar babies). Harvey Milk was also a republican in his younger days in New York. In the late 1960s I met one of my mentors, proud World War II Latino Veteran Jose Julio Sarria in San Francisco, who in 1961, became the first openly LGBTQ candidate to run for public office. Jose was crowned Empress I of San Francisco in 1965 by the San Francisco Tavern Guild, which was the first Gay business association in the country. At that time I was living as a preoperative transsexual and soon José introduced me to what I first thought was a frumpy dressed, long-haired radical hippie who I was informed was going to run for Supervisor in San Francisco, his name was Harvey Milk. After our first long conversation I soon discovered we had a lot in common, he was stationed in San Diego while he was in the Navy and also had supported Barry Goldwater for President. I remember I told him he would never get elected to office unless he cut his long hair and wore a tie and he just laughed at me. I became involved with, and a leader in the Teddy Roosevelt Club which had chapters in San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego and was a Gay republican organization founded by Reverend Ray of San Francisco. I flew to San Francisco a lot, first from my home in Hollywood then San Diego and would see Harvey once in a while. We would have great talks about his politics and Gay rights. He ran for Supervisor and then the State Assembly but lost. His little camera store in The Castro was always his headquarters. On his third campaign, he won a seat on the Board of Supervisors with a lot of support
Empress Jose, Supervisor Milk, Queen Mavis (photo courtesy of
Senator Milton Sparks, Nico le Mur
ray Ramirez and Supervisor
from the Drag community and Imperial Court Members, the leather community, and the progressive Gay community. I remember the majority of the San Francisco Gay elite and establishment did not support him and even ran another Gay candidate against him supported by a good friend of mine who owned The Advocate Magazine and produced the Groovy Guy Contest which my then partner Michael Murray was a contestant of. I gave Harvey some money for his campaign and supported him and was overjoyed when he won. I believe the last time I saw Harvey Milk was when we were both guest speakers at a dinner honoring Empress Jose
I at the War Memorial Building. By then we had both been involved and worked on the statewide anti-Briggs Campaign. Harvey always spoke highly of Jose and of the Imperial Court of San Francisco and I respected him for that. I especially loved his, at times outrageous, sense of humor and when he was assassinated I, like many others, was overwhelmed with grief. I soon named one of the first and oldest Harvey Milk Civil Rights Awards in 1979 for the Annual Nicki Awards and established the first Harvey Milk Student Scholarship within the Imperial Court de San Diego and got a memorial bench in his name dedicated in Balboa Park as
President and Founder of the then chartered Harvey Milk Democratic Club of San Diego (Al Best and Jim Cua were also past presidents of the club). In due time campaigns for the first Harvey Milk Street, a US Postage Stamp and the USNS Harvey Milk ship were launched. These campaigns would not have been successful if it weren’t for the support of the International Imperial Court System, many friends, and activists in San Diego. I had the honor of serving on the National Board of the Harvey Milk Foundation and becoming good friends with Stuart Milk, who has not only followed in his uncle’s footsteps but became our nation’s premier
Danny Nicoletta)
Harvey Milk (courtesy photo)
LGBTQ Community Ambassador to the world and has become a most highly respected global LGBTQ Human Rights advocate. It is so important that schools, city streets, parks, even Navy ships be named after the many LGBTQ Americans who have contributed to our great nation. That’s why along with then San Francisco Supervisor Bevan Dufty and the International Court System led the successful campaign to name a street after Empress I Jose. Our LGBTQ heroes and icons deserve the same honors and place in history as any other Americans; Harvey Milk was one of our first and most certainly not the last.
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guidance, and appropriate role models they can become respected individuals who improve society in all areas of life. So, I would take two-thirds of the million and divide it equally among these efforts: San Diego Pride’s Youth Leadership Academy, The Diversionary Theatre’s youth outreach project, The Point Foundation’s scholarship program and The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus school outreach efforts. I’d send the other third to chapters of the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network in the rural areas of our southern states.
bIg MIke & FrIeNDs big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-807-7324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.
I
am excited to introduce our readers to amazing and caring people who live, work, play and do business in our community and city. Learning about people of every lifestyle, talents, and personalities that I think would be interesting for our readers to enjoy. San Diego has a wonderful diversity of individuals who make our slice of paradise the greatest place to live and enjoy each other’s uniqueness. How did you end up in San Diego and what do you love about it? In 1999 I was loving my career as a tenured professor at the University of Florida and I was also enjoying my service as a parttime public information officer for the city’s fire department. I had no thoughts of leaving Florida. That changed when I traveled to San Diego for a professional conference. I immediately fell in love with San Diego—the relaxed and welcoming vibe of the people, the awesome weather, the spirit and Gay openness of the Hillcrest area, and the array of sand, desert and mountain destinations—these all called out to me and convinced me that someday I wanted to live here. So, less than a week after my retirement, in 2003, the moving van arrived, my car was shipped and I was on a plane heading west. I look back on my decision to move here as one of the best decisions in my life. What gets you most excited about life? Feeling as though I’m helping others is what brings me joy and satisfaction. Back in Pennsylvania, when I was in high school, I volunteered as a front desk clerk and as a camp counselor at the Jewish Community Center. Then I began serving as a volunteer firefighter which I did for many years. In Florida I was part of the volunteer leadership group, called ‘Gay Talk’ that assisted gay teens by hosting social events and by staffing our 24-hour phone line. Our group handed out information and waved signs in our small downtown square to start the first Gay Pride event in our college town. Here in San Diego, I volunteered for three years as a desk clerk for the Center, I’ve posed gratis for several local lifedrawing groups since 2005, I’ve ushered at many local theatres and I’ve been the usher coordina-
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If you could give someone advise about your art, hobby, or business, what would you tell them? This is an easy question. You want to get naked and pose for artists? Call an art department at one of our local colleges and get a job as a model. (If you need help with this send me an email.) You want to go to Blacks Beach and get naked? Do that difficult walk down the cliff and stop hesitating—when you get to the beach take off your clothes. And you want to read about exhibitionism, voyeurism and nudism? Buy my book! (It’s quite affordable on Amazon: the ebook is $4.95 and the paperback is $15.95.) Just go to lightsonclothesoff.com to get your copy.
sTUarT sCHwarTz
Stuart Schwartz and his husband Karl Peterson (courtesy images)
tor at the Diversionary Theatre since 2008. (An aside here—if you are interested in ushering let me know!) The bottom line is that I derive a great deal of satisfaction from my volunteer efforts. When it comes to your work, what makes your business stand out and how has it changed your life? My business (really my hobby) has two parts. The first is writing. I have had four professional textbooks, thirty-nine refereed journal articles and twenty instructional materials published. I changed my focus in 2018 when I decided to write adults-only novels; the first one, ‘Lights On—Clothes Off: Confessions of an Unabashed Exhibitionist’ was recently released. My second novel, tentatively titled ‘I’ll be Naked at Six’, is well underway. Exhibitionism, voyeurism and public nudity are the main topics in my novels. So, there’s no doubt—my business easily stands out since my work is unique, titillating and eye opening. Now I’m focused on the marketing of my books. This is a new challenge for me and frankly, I’m loving it. What small act of kindness were you once shown that you’ll never forget? I vividly recall meeting Francine, an art instructor at my undergraduate college. I was 18, a
freshman and I was out as a Gay person. We had a chance meeting at a nudist club that a few friends and I enjoyed on warm weekends. Francine asked me if I’d be interested in posing for her art classes. I remember just loving that idea but I had a zillion questions and was instantly excited and nervous. She explained everything the job would entail and she assured me that she would hold my hand (not literally) the first time. After a couple long conversations filled with encouragement, I agreed to step onto a posing platform for her life drawing class. I did. I undressed. I watched all the students viewing me. Francine smiled and gave me a thumbs up. That experience gave me the OK to come out of my exhibitionist closet. Thank you, Francine, for opening that door for me. If the universe could grant you one wish, what would you wish for, and why? Peace on earth among ALL people is my first and most critical wish. But I’ll stay on topic by relating what so many have shared privately with me. For years people have applauded me and complimented me for freely speaking about my experiences as an art model, as a naked waiter for parties and as a nude dancer in both straight and gay clubs. Almost always their comments were coupled
with, “I wish I had the guts to do that.” “I’m really envious.” “I would love to have done what you’ve done. But I’m afraid.” So, my wish is that people could simply get over their fears and be honest about what they wish they could do. And do it. Once they address their true desires, no doubt, they would be happier honest people. If you were given the opportunity to travel anywhere in the world, and were able to take one person with you, where would you go, who would you take, and why? My husband Karl is a wonderful guy. He’s smart, fun, gorgeous and he also has the travel bug. We both love cruises and we enjoy exploring parts of our world seeking out interesting places with vivid architecture, great restaurants and lovely beaches (nude beaches are a plus). So, my simple answer is a world-wide cruise with numerous ports that offer beauty and beaches and of course, I would do that with Karl. If you had a chance to spend one million dollars on someone, or any group of people, who would it be and how would you spend that money to better them? My charitable focus is aimed at helping Gay youth emerge as leaders and activists. With support,
Loving yourself is so important to becoming the best of who you are. Please write a couple sentences to describe your loving self and how you want to live your best life? I’m pleased with who I am and what I’ve accomplished in life. I’m almost 76 and all of my professional achievements have been satisfying, rewarding and enjoyable. I’ve been out of the Gay closet since my teen years and out of the exhibitionist closet since my college days so I’ve never been afraid of being myself and being honest about who I am. I want to keep going just the way I am with myself and with my husband. Gratitude is so important in each of our lives, what are you most grateful for, and how do you pay it forward? My parents instilled a good work ethic in me. They encouraged me to get a good education and they taught me to be respectful toward others. These are things that today’s children desperately need. I’m hoping I am paying that forward by being an honest hardworking person, by serving as a positive role model for youngsters and by making appropriate charitable donations designed to help the leaders of tomorrow. Regarding my exhibitionism I hope to encourage others, who have desires and doubts, to move forward, read my book and email me if they want to chat about their path. I’m not a therapist but I’m comfortable with my boldness and would be happy to attempt to help others. Finally, if you are an artist or photographer and you are in need of a model who is willing to work gratis contact me. Or, if you and your friends would like to host a reading from my novel let me know. There’s no fee. And you won’t be surprised by this: I’ll do the reading dressed or naked— that’s your choice.
stuauthor@gmail.com www.lightsonclothesoff.com
lgbtqsd.news
COMMUNITY vOICes
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
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lIFe beYOND THeraPY Michael kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.
I
n a few days I’m moving to a new house. I’ve lived in my current place for 21 years. Needless to say, I’ve accumulated a lot of stuff. When I moved into this house, it was the first house I’d ever bought. I was 47 years’ old. Yes, I am a late bloomer! Before buying this house – which was as scary as hell – I’d lived in apartments for almost 30 years. I liked being carefree, not tied down to any place. If the roof leaked or the plumbing backed up, I could pick up the phone and ask the landlord, “Please fix it. Thank you very much”. Nothing to worry about and very little responsibility. I moved from city-to-city and country to country. From Cincinnati, Ohio to Louisville, Kentucky. Then to New Haven, Connecticut. Then to London, Paris, Aarhus (Denmark), and Valencia (Spain). Many years of living abroad followed. I could fit all my possessions into a few suitcases. I gave what little furniture I had to my sister in Ohio. I was happy to be a nomad: wandering free. Born in 1953, I found that the 1970’s were the perfect time to hitchhike around the world, staying in youth hostels or, in a pinch, sleeping on someone’s floor (I got fleas this way once, oh well). While living in a studio apartment in San Francisco, in the 1990’s, I began to want to settle down…to have a place that no one could take away from me or tell me not to paint the kitchen a “lovely” pumpkin color (oh yes, I did that. Huge mistake). I began to look around for places I could afford. There were none. I wasn’t very happy with my job, my boyfriend or the dense concrete village that was San Francisco. So, I quit my job, reconnected with my previous boyfriend (who was living in Los Angeles) and we decided to move in together. But where? I didn’t want to live in LA, so he and I began to look around the state to see where we’d settle. We looked at Santa Barbara (too expensive), San Luis Obispo (too small) and San Diego (just right). In 1998, we moved into a rental house here. Two years’ later, we decided to remain friends but not boyfriends, and I began to look for a home of my own.
lIgHTeN UP!
There were some, but not many, that I could afford. After lots of looking, I bought a cozy, little place near SDSU for $225K. Being a brand-new homeowner gave me sleepless nights: could I afford it? I was working for the County in Child Protective Services: my job was secure, but not well-paying. Eventually, my “buyer’s remorse” subsided and I began to settle in. Now, I’m leaving this place for a house in a quieter neighborhood. At the age of 68, I want more peace and quiet, although I will miss all those beautiful SDSU students jogging past my house in their barely-there jogging clothes. Nice scenery, to be sure. A few weeks’ ago, I sold my house, bought a new one and began to sort through my stuff. I always prided myself on not being a “thing” person, a minimalist. I was lying to myself! I had a ton of stuff, much of which I didn’t use/wear/like anymore. So, I began to Lighten Up. I gave away 2 sofas, 2 end tables, 3 lamps, 2-bedroom dressers, 4 file cabinets and two-thirds of my clothes and books. It was a good start. I kept going: giving away dishes, shoes, plants, pots, knickknacks, patio umbrellas, pillows and tools. One day, after giving away a bunch of stuff to my neighbors, I felt really high: I was naturally stoned. It was such a good feeling. I’d never experienced anything quite like this before. It was the high of Lightening Up. Don’t be like me: don’t wait until you’re moving to lighten up. Start now, little-by-little. Go through your stuff and do a Marie Kondo: “does this bring me
the Joy of gettiNg rid of StUff
(image by shutterstock.com)
joy?” I used to make fun of her, now I see why everyone thinks she’s a genius: she’s mastered the art of Lightening Up.
Join the NEXUS Study Now enrolling participants! Earn compensation. NEXUS es un estudio de parte de UCSD que cubre diferentes temas entre hombres latinos quienes tienen sexo con hombres.
NEXUS is a study being conducted by UCSD which focuses on different topics among Latino men who have sex with men.
Cada participante recibirá una compensación de hasta $360 si deciden inscribirse y completar el estudio.
Each participant will be compensated up to $360 if they choose to enroll and complete the study.
Interested? / Interesado?
Contact / Contact a Stevie Juarez at 619-800-4252
The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street 619-692-2077 www.thecentersd.org
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november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
COMMUNITY vOICes
lgbtqsd.news
TraNs Talk wITH CONNOr
Connor Maddocks —Connor Maddocks has been a civil rights advocate in the San Diego transgender community for years. He does trainings on legal and personal transition information. He continues his work, even though he is now retired. Contact Conner at Neon411@gmail.com.
E
very year, the Transgender Day of Remembrance turns in to a week where Trans and Gender NonConforming people celebrate and raise awareness to their community, their issues, their triumphs and how to be an ally. This year we celebrate the week of November 13th – 19th. It’s a week when we should speak openly about who we are, what our issues are, and what people can do to help. In 2018 Trans Awareness Month was started in San Francisco by then Mayor London Breed and the Office of Transgender Initiatives. They created a month of awareness as opposed to the one week. It is celebrated all over the world now and serves to uplift the community with activities that educate and advocate. In San Diego, Project Trans at the Center will raise the Transgender flag at the Hillcrest Pride Plaza on November 13 at 11AM. Come by if you like and watch our beautiful Trans flag fly high for the week. The week culminates in the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. This year’s event will be held at the County Administration Building at 1600 Pacific Highway, San Diego 92101. The event begins at 6 pm with speakers and a reading of the names of those we lost nationally to antitransgender hate and violence. All are welcome to attend. We must remember those we lost, we must honor them and never forget their names. If we, the Trans Community and our allies, do not continue to raise awareness about the violence against our community, then who will? This day is for us to take a stand, to say, “NO MORE”. It’s a day when we tell our Black and Latina siblings that they matter,
TraNs awareNess aND reMeMbraNCe
thiS year we celebrate the weeK of November 13th – 19th
their lives matter. That their presence in the Trans Community is important and enriches us all. We want to make our voices heard to everyone in our city, in our county that we are here and we deserve the respect and dignity that other citizens automatically receive. Let’s stand up and represent our community with love and respect for each other. Transgender Day of Remembrance was started in 1999 by Gwendolyn Ann Smith, to remember Rita Hester, a Trans woman who was murdered in Boston, MA. Now it is an international day to remember and honor those we lost from violence and hate. I feel that as somber a day as it is, we are also celebrating their courage and strength to have lived their authentic lives. We celebrate their power of their lives and the love they gave and received from those
around them. We mourn with their families and friends and communities. According to the HRC, 43 deaths have been confirmed in the US so far this year. One of the deadliest years since tracking of these murders was begun. This doesn’t take into account the rest of the world where in previous years the death toll has been upwards of 300 transgender people. Most of them Trans Women of Color. Many are sex workers, which is often the only way many Trans Women can survive. No one deserves to die for just being who they are. I think that we have all noticed the rise in violence in our society and sadly much of this violence has been directed towards the Transgender Community. I wish I had an answer as to why people commit violent acts against anyone. I wish I had an answer as to
why the rage that is living within someone is even there. Our society needs a booster shot, of love and acceptance not only for others, but for ourselves. I wonder if much of the violence happens because people are unhappy with themselves; or because they experienced hate and perhaps violence in their own lives at some point. We know that serious childhood trauma can cause lasting issues for many folks. We need to see when others are hurting, we need more compassion, and we need to reach out to those around us who might be suffering. Imagine a world where people felt safe all the time, where people could reach out to those around them and be heard, really heard. When learning about other communities would be a staple within our educational systems. It all sounds like such an impossible
dream. But it’s November, the month of giving thanks. For me it’s a month to reflect on my year and hope to feel I did some good, made a difference. It’s a month when I give thanks for all of those people who surround me, who push me to be a better person. I give thanks for those challenges that help me build strength and character. It’s a month when I recognize my privilege and my blessings. I have many of those two things as do many of us. I try my best to use that to uplift and focus on folks who are marginalized. Wouldn’t it be great if I, we could do this all the time? I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I ask that you at least spend a moment to reflect on your blessings and to remember those we have lost.
PUblIC servICe
lgbtqsd.news
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
sTaNDINg UP FOr THOse
CITY aTTOrNeY News
who caN’t care for themSelveS
Mara w. elliott —Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.
T
here’s no denying the lethal connection between guns and domestic violence. When a firearm is present in a domestic violence situation, it increases the risk of homicide by 500 percent. Armed domestic abusers not only endanger their partners, but also pose a threat to the greater community. In the United States, 60 percent of all mass shootings are either domestic violence attacks or are committed by men with histories of domestic violence. These grim statistics led me to seek added protection for domestic violence survivors from the day they first seek refuge from their abusers. Acting quickly is important because they’re in the most danger when their abuser realizes they’re leaving.
(image by shutterstock.com)
In an effort to remove firearms from these situations, my Office’s nationally recognized Gun Violence Response Unit now meets directly with domestic violence survivors to assess their risk and, when warranted, seek a Gun Violence Restraining Order (GVRO) if their abuser has a gun and poses a significant threat. This initiative combines two passions of mine, protecting survivors and preventing gun violence, and it occurs in the safety of Your Safe Place – A Family Justice Center, the newly renamed Center that offers confidential, comprehensive services to anyone who has experienced domestic violence, intra-family violence, sex trafficking, sexual assault, or elder abuse. We chose the name Your Safe
Place because it projects the warm, welcoming, and inclusive setting in which we offer specialized services that include safety planning, counseling, assistance with emergency housing, legal and immigration advice, and access to clothing and necessities. Now our menu of services includes access to a dedicated team of specially trained attorneys and Client Care Coordinators who work on-site with clients to assess their vulnerability to gun violence and explain the protection offered by a GVRO, which we know can be life-saving. GVROs also fill a critical gap left by Domestic Violence Restraining Orders (DVROs). DVROs prohibit an abuser from owning and possessing guns, but there are
Cruise
no processes built into the DVRO to actually remove firearms. In contrast, GVROs are filed on behalf of the police, who can immediately confiscate weapons through voluntary compliance or search warrant. And while DVROs rely on evidence of a specific threat to the victim, a GVRO can consider an individual’s prior victims, threats, felony arrests, or any other evidence of an increased risk for violence. GVROs can also be filed in conjunction with a DVRO, or as an alternative to a DVRO, in situations where victims fear retaliation or challenges to serving the order. GVROs are a unique and reliable intervention tool to immediately remove guns from a volatile situation that could lead to domestic
violence homicide. We want San Diegans to know that anyone living in fear of violence is welcome at Your Safe Place, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, income, or immigration status. No questions asked. Engagement with law enforcement is always the client’s choice at Your Safe Place, a victim-centered and trauma-informed space. Your Safe Place offers free, confidential services to women, men, children, and teens. Our goal is to empower survivors to heal and move forward with their lives.
ASk YOURSELF: Are you ever afraid to go home? Do you live in fear of your partner? Has your partner ever threatened you, your family, or your pets? Has your partner ever blamed you for their violent behavior? Has your partner ever threatened you with a gun? If you answered yes to any of these questions, or know someone who might, please contact Your Safe Place today. YOUR SAFE PLACE – A Family Justice Center San Diego Housing Commission Building 1122 Broadway (2nd floor) San Diego, CA 92101. Hours: 8 a.m.-5 p.m. (New clients welcome before 3:30 p.m.) Phone: 619-533-6000 (Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.) Toll-Free: 866-933-HOPE (4673) After hours, call the 24-hour SD Domestic Violence hotline: 888-DV-LINKS (888-385-4657) www.sandiego.gov/yoursafeplace
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COMMUNITY vOICes
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
lgbtqsd.news
POzITIvelY MICHael Michael guadarrama — I am a 30-year-old Latino male, living with HIV (undetectable) and living my best life. I wanted to write and help others living with HIV realize that they can also achieve living a healthy life, being in love, and being successful.
Greetings fellow San Diegans!
I hope you all have been well and your Halloween was a special one full of Tricks and Treats! Dirty birds, I mean candy! Or do I? *Evil grins* Can you believe that we are in November already? Where has this year gone? Thanksgiving, Christmas and then New Years and we are in 2022! Time needs to pump its brakes and let us stay young! I hope that all of you get to spend some time with family and friends these upcoming holidays. Remember to be safe and always give back to those who need a warm meal and love. On a different note, I don’t remember If I told all of you that I have started a new medicine called Dovato. Well, honey, let me tell you, for the
(image by shutterstock.com)
New medS, who thiS?
New sPIrITUal begINNINgs first couple weeks I felt like a zombie! I was up till the wee hours of the night unable to fall asleep in fear of some crazy and vivid dreams I was having. I got a little bit
of stomach issues but I wasn’t sure if that was a true sideeffect of the medicine. I have only tried a few other HIV drugs and they have all had different side-effects but this one was on a whole new level for me. I had the sweats, a headache, and mood swings from the lack of sleep – it was just dark and cutthroat! I do agree with medical professionals when they say it takes a few weeks for your body to properly acclimate to certain medicines. After these symptoms being so abnormal, I wasn’t sure if I would have to switch back to my previous medicine or if I would be able to move forward with it. Luckily, I do not have any of these side-effects currently. I am happy and grateful that my body has started to become familiar to it. Hopefully, this will continue to be a normal journey as time goes on. I’m not sure how spiritual my readers are, but I feel like this new moon on November 4th will open a new door for beginnings and allow us to grow as individuals and together as a whole. I hope that this will allow me to shed some of the baggage or tighten any loose ends that I may have in regards to me having HIV and allow me to heal whatever I need to. I have found peace within my journey but as humans we still have fears and unresolved matters. I also hope that the new moon allows us to love others and ourselves in a way that will allow the stigma to decrease. We are all beautiful creatures who deserve to love, be loved, to respect, be respected, and to be and to acknowledge
others. We have strayed away from universal love. It is time to slowly heal the world and others. We are more powerful than we will ever know if we come together as one. Since we are talking about new light, growth, and selflove I feel like it is time to truly let my heart love again and find a partner who is just unapologetically himself. As I look back through all of my past relationships, I see a pattern that I wish to end. I no longer want to live in fear of rejection or at times not being “good enough” for someone. It is not always that I feel this way but there are those moments. I have always wanted the “perfect” relationship. But today I ask myself, what is the “perfect relationship”? Is it truly something that I want, crave to be accepted, or to just feel whole? As I venture into my 30’s I have realized that this will be some of the best years to come. I know that there is an end coming near and a new beginning of life for me. I will continue to share my process and my struggles with you all and will allow the Universe to provide my journey. I am ready for a higher vibration. Have you ever wondered what your purpose on Earth is, what kind of impact you will make in the world, or what your legacy here will be? Remember that love is not only in us, we are love! Share it with the world and one another! Since we are talking about growth, I find it important to share, I have found an energy so rare in a beautiful man. I am unsure what the future might hold for us but I know that whatever it is it will be
beautiful. I feel like I can be myself, I can let walls crumble; I can show my feelings and dorkiness. I write this as I feel a smile sneaking into my face. I was very honest from the beginning with me being HIV POZ. I recall telling him, “I understand if you choose not to go forward from this point. All I will say is that it is something that I have but most definitely who I am!” He was silent for a few moments and asked to hold my hands. I could feel a warmth that I cannot explain, I felt him squeeze my hand and look straight into my eyes and tell me, “I am so sorry that you have been rejected and been looked past because you are POZ. That was definitely someone that was not worthy of you and your love.” I looked straight into his eyes and saw sincerity and love. I am unsure where this will go but I am excited to see what this will bloom into, even if it doesn’t bloom into something romantic at least I have found a rare flower in a field full of others. Never close yourself off because of fear! You deserve to be loved and to love! May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you guide your way on. – Irish Blessing
Stay blessed friends and see you soon! XOXO, Michael
News / PUzzle
lgbtqsd.news
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
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Q Puzzle
time to draw the liNeS for
FaIr rePreseNTaTION By David Bame
T
he County of San Diego is over 4,500 square miles making it larger than the states of Delaware and Rhode Island. With a population of over 3 million people it is currently the fifth most populated county with a population greater than 21 states. San Diego County is also part of the San Diego– Tijuana transborder metropolitan area, the largest metropolitan area shared between the United States and Mexico with the busiest border crossing in the Western Hemisphere. Our county is an important region and a place I love to call home! As Chair of the County of San Diego Independent Redistricting Commission, I invite you to help us draw the lines for our county so that our communities can get the fair political representation it deserves. The County’s Independent Redistricting Commission, or IRC, is made up of 14 County residents who volunteered to serve on the Commission and draw the lines for the five supervisorial election districts. The Commission reflects the County’s diverse geographic, political, ethnic, and racial diversity. We’re honored to be part of this process, but we cannot do it without you. After every census, our community has the opportunity to participate in a once-in-adecade event called redistricting. According to the 2020 U.S. Census, the County’s population grew by over six percent, to almost 3.3 million people. This growth means that each of the County’s five supervisors now will represent approximately 660,000 people. But dividing the county into five supervisorial districts is no small task, given the challenge of which urban, rural, and other areas should be placed in which electoral districts. To redraw electoral district lines fairly, we need as much input on common community characteristics and interests as possible. Over the past several months we’ve listened to the many different communities that make our region great. They’ve told us about their unique interests, their com-
munity’s location and boundaries, and how it fits with other communities across San Diego County. The IRC has collected more than 900 written and verbal comments from County residents. We continue to hear testimony about County “communities of interest”, reflecting places that people believe should be kept whole in the redistricting process for their effective representation. These communities of interest are where people share common social or economic interests, coming together to live, work, learn, celebrate, and worship. We’ve heard from many individuals from the LGBTQ community about their interests and concerns when it comes to redistricting. Like many other communities, LGBTQ folks live throughout the county. Engaging in the process, regardless of where you live, is important to ensure that your voice is heard. We recognize that the LGBTQ community is a hard-to-count community, so we are glad to have received comments that provide population, geographic, and COI information about the community. The IRC welcomes and encourages even more input as its map-drawing process continues. 915 comments is an impressive total for a public body like the IRC, but we strive for more. Recently, the IRC presented its first attempts to redraw the lines in draft maps. The IRC has also posted maps submitted by the public and reviewed them as carefully as those drafted by the IRC. All of these maps are shaped by community input, and mark useful steps in creating a final map that the IRC is to approve by December 15. By law, the IRC must draw and approve maps primarily based on the 2020 census data, the federal Voting Rights Act, and public input. The IRC is legally required to work independently of political parties, candidates, and elected officials to approve a final map that will be in place for ten years until the next redistricting process. The IRC must approve lines for five supervisorial districts following prioritized criteria:
have nearly equal population; complies with the federal Voting Rights Act (so that minorities have fair opportunities to elect a representative of their choice); are contiguous as defined by law and the courts; minimizes division of cities, neighborhoods, and communities of interest; are geographically compact; and include three districts with unincorporated territory, two of which must be primarily unincorporated. The IRC by law cannot consider the place of residence of any incumbent or political candidate, nor favor or discriminate against an incumbent, political candidate, or political party. As we continue the mapping process, we strongly encourage all communities to be actively engaged. Stay up to date and discuss redistricting with your neighbors, colleagues, and friends. Listen in during our next public hearings or, even better, provide written or verbal comment. The IRC has a public hearing set for December 2, along with a meeting on November 13, where the IRC will receive even more public input. Community members can also visit the IRC’s website (www.drawyourcommunity. com) to submit comments, and use the electronic tools to draw and submit maps (through the District Scenario Modeler) or provide details on a Community of Interest (through the Community Builder Tool). Alternatively, you can send the IRC a regular letter or a hand-drawn map. The IRC website also provides background materials, including all IRC draft maps and their detailed data. You can always contact the IRC staff – at (619) 409-3003 or redistricting@sdcounty.ca.gov – for help. There are many ways to connect with the IRC and get involved. Everyone in San Diego County can help redraw the lines by sending your comments and maps to your Independent Redistricting Commission. The IRC looks forward to hearing from you.
TruST iN ruSTiN aCroSS 1 eagles’ haunts 6 it prevents pirates from sailing 10 david bowie genre 14 man with a steel rod 15 Spread out on the breakfast table 16 heed the alarm 17 Start of a quote from bayard rustin 19 “a Streetcar Named desire” director Kazan 20 homes for batman’s relatives? 21 more of the quote 23 “perry mason” star raymond 24 composer edouard 25 bow’s partner 28 Seemingly forever 29 Jodie’s concern at yale 32 like some sexual expression 33 Stir-fry 34 poet mcKuen 35 more of the quote 38 more of the quote 39 Ng: deposit slip abbr. 40 double agents 41 paris, to debussy 42 male crew member in “dune” 44 loafed about 46 “glen or glenda: ___ two lives” 47 System for a Johnny mathis song 48 hung loosely 51 gay-friendly folk singer 55 end of the quote 57 estimating words 58 baldwin staffer 59 part of a drag queen’s wig 60 pleasure oneself, with “off” 61 “chicago” producer meron 62 come as far as
Solutions on page 19 David Bame, a retired U.S. diplomat, is the Chair of the County of San Diego Independent Redistricting Commission and a resident of Chula Vista.
QSyndicate.com
DoWN 1 manger, to mary 2 garb for mychal Judge 3 his brother laid him in his grave 4 patty Sheehan hits it 5 arouse 6 Not the first recording 7 britten’s beers 8 bloomers worn around the neck 9 big herbicide producer 10 Spanish painter, with “el” 11 eddie in “the danish girl” 12 continent of cho’s parents 13 eat it 18 land of emma donoghue 22 Superman’s pal Jimmy 24 trumpeter armstrong 25 ingredients in highballs 26 pinch, as a piecrust 27 bob marley, e.g. 28 orally pleasured 29 Sacred cup 30 da vinci’s bridge 31 changed from a pair to a threesome 33 fruit eaters’ serving 36 egg concoction 37 eddie izzard, e.g. 41 pianist van 43 butch smokes 44 one with a tricky tongue 45 deserving attention 47 valet employer 48 James vi, e.g. 49 river of michelangelo’s land 50 Some g.m. cars 51 Knight job for alec guinness 52 in the sack 53 “frozen” queen 54 Quality of feniger’s cooking 56 life of renee vivien
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november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
bUsINess PrOFIle
lgbtqsd.news
HIlls wINe & sPIrITs
the reiNveNtioN of a Neighborhood Staple By Cesar a reyes
W
e love to see old businesses or buildings get a new lease on life with a fresh concept or idea, especially for a business that wants to open its doors to the community. One such place is Hills Wine & Spirits at the corner of Washington and Eagle Streets. The location was the home of Fiori’s Liquor & Pizza for the last two decades. The new renovation has been having a great response from the neighbors who, aside from sharing stories of the olden days, are pleased to see this specialty liquor shop and its owner Andrew Haisha wanting to join in and be a part of the growth in the neighborhood. We sat down with Andrew to find out more about the business and his passion for liquor and his commitment to being part of the Mission Hills and Hillcrest communities. Give us a little history about the location? I can’t give you precise dates of what use to be here prior to the last five years. From what customers have told me about Fiori’s plot, it was a pizza/liquor store for over 30 years; I have customers that come in 30 to 40 years old saying that they used to come in when Fiori’s had the original pizza place and right here (where the counter is now) they would play old school arcade style video games. I believe the pizza has been around since 1976, from what the sign says on the new building down the street. That’s when Fiori’s became a staple in Mission Hills. Fiori’s ran it as a liquor store and pizza shop for about 10 years I believe. Multiple owners came in to the store, but they all kept it “as is” and full of clutter. The last owner did the best he could considering how much it costs to renovate a store, people think it’s cheap, but it’s not. I came to hear about it from a friend, he knew I wanted to get back into the liquor store business (which started for me as a kid with my dad’s store), so I came to the store and looked at it. I kind of knew who the owner of the store was, and I looked at it and I just saw instantly a vision for the store. I knew that the store could be really nice. The outside was kind of rundown and it needed to be cleaned up; I can look at a building and instantly see how I would improve it from new stucco on the exterior to a cleaner parking lot. I knew the store had much potential in this area to be a seller of fine wine and spirits. Tell us about your history in the industry? In Michigan, my dad would take me to work with him on the weekends, per my request, he really did not want me in the business that early on, but I kept pushing him: “Dad, can I come work with you, can I come to work with you?” So, I started bagging groceries, stocking shelves, and filling the coolers but I was too young and not tall enough to work the register at that point. As time went on, working two days a week for him turned into working on every break that we got from school. Instead of going out on vacations with my brother and my sister when my mom would take them, I opted to go to work with my dad and start making money. He would give me a paycheck; I was making 4 or 5 bucks an hour at the time. I loved the business. I loved being a merchant, it’s taught me a lot about life and money at a really young age; how to balance your checkbook, how to not overspend, and how to save up for rainy days. Liquor is not expensive to buy so the more you can save for your own personal
Andrew Haisha (photos by Big Mike Phillips)
Fiori’s Liquor and Pizza (courtesy image)
growth to put it back into the store the better your store will do. If your constantly taking profits from the store, your store is going to show for it. For me I keep dumping my profits back into my business and that’s what my father taught me at a very young age, and I can’t thank him enough for what he has taught me about the business. How many eight-year-olds are in the business of stocking shelves and working now adays? My eight-year-old would never do it. But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being 12 and 13 years old with money in my pocket from my paycheck and it was a good amount of money at the time. I came to San Diego after we sold our store of 27 years in Michigan. I needed a change. I was tired of
the Michigan life; Detroit was a very tough area at the time. A lot of business closed down; Detroit fell apart. Some buddies of mine recruited me out to San Diego and I started my own telecommunications business, I was a preferred retailer for Sprint, I opened 6 stores under their supervision, and in 2013 I sold the company and I started investing in real estate after that. I was kind of bored sitting at home. I would go to my friends’ stores, and I would be there for hours and would even help them on the register, and a couple of my friends would say, “You know what, you love this business!”, and I would agree. The profits are not what they used to be, but I just love the liquor business, it gives me a spark! Even when I go into larger retailers, I’m constantly looking into new products coming up. I have always kept up with the market even when I was not in the business. I knew when Jameson was coming up with something new; I knew when Tito’s was the number one spirit in the world; I knew when there was a new wine out. I am connected to and interested in this well of information via alerts or beverage journals. I would stay on top of it all so finally I just decided to do it and I got back in to the liquor store business. I found this opportunity here in Mission Hills, and I don’t think I would have done it elsewhere. I think the Mission Hills/Hillcrest area is the right fit for me. Offering knowledge to the customer: 70% or more of consumers walking in to a wine establishment do not know what they want. There are too many labels from too many regions, too many varieties which can be confusing. It’s our job in a store like
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this to be able to recommend a certain bottle of liquor or, especially, wine. Wine can be very challenging for a consumer to find what they want. You have to ask what they’re eating today: Are they having beef, chicken, fish, or just vegetables? Each wine compliments what they are eating that day. If my wife is making beef and potatoes for dinner, I’m not going home with a chardonnay. I want a big bold Cabernet that would pair well with that, but if I’m just chilling outside and having some cheese then any of the wines will work. People have to know that an expensive bottle of wine doesn’t guarantee you’re going to like it, every bottle of wine changes. Today you and I can drink a bottle of wine and then tomorrow I can have that same bottle of wine with someone else and it’s not going to be the same depending on what food each person has consumed which alters your body’s pH balance. A large consumption of lemon today can make any wine horrible tomorrow. This is why alkaline water is so popular now because it balances your pH levels. pH levels are very important when it comes to wine and sipping liquor; not so much with beer because “beer is beer” and the carbonation masks everything. When customers come in to our store and they see the amount of single malt, Irish whiskey, vodka or tequila we have they
might get overwhelmed. And we ask, “What are you making?” If you’re doing a margarita take Jose Cuervo because why are you going to spend X amount of dollars on a bottle of Don Julio to make a margarita. Yes, it’s going to be a better margarita but is it worth the price of admission? To me it’s not and I have to recommend that to our customers. We like to ask questions; the majority of liquor stores don’t ask questions. You have to feel the customer out, you have to ask questions, and it’s my job to ask questions and give information to our customers. What has been the response from the community? It has been extremely positive. I think Missions Hills was screaming for a nice store that is clean and well organized to compliment the area. There is no store in Mission hills besides Vons that compliments the area. And I feel the majority of business around here need to follow suit and make the Mission Hills/Hillcrest area something to be proud of. This is s a pretty affluent area; owners need to step up their game and start cleaning up their businesses. When customers walk in here, they are just blown away, it’s immaculate – just the way I want it; it’s clean, our floors are mopped, everything is well stocked, it’s well organized, we have a beautiful wine selection, a champagne section, and even a beer cave to be able to cater to every type of
bUsINess PrOFIle customer. And, they have been extremely supportive of the store, very happy to have something like this in the area. There is no difference between this store and a BevMo. And customers are seeing that. Along with the cleanliness and organization comes the personal attention where Andrew and his staff are able to give customers recommendations and talk to them about the product, and there is knowledge behind it: The phrase I like to use is: “ownership requirements”. These are the initiatives that an owner must take and it should be a requirement when operating a store like this. Even me as an owner am required to do my job a certain way. From Liquor Store to Wine & Spirit Shop, is this the way of the future? The future has evolved from your regular mom and pop stores and it has shifted online, delivery is the future. I don’t consider this a liquor store but rather a “specialty store”. We don’t have a vast amount of candy, gum, and potato chips; this is considered and specialty alcohol store. I believe there will always be a place in society for a store like this. They will never be able to take away all the liquor stores; they’re one of the biggest driving businesses that will never fail during a recession or a pandemic – proven by a recent all-time high for liquor sales. New products came out during the pandemic as people were home doing research and development. Seltzers took off, ready to make cocktails have blown thru the hemisphere, and every company is coming out with a new product. There will always be customers that will want to come into a store that can’t have the same experience online. There is nothing like going to a store and grabbing a bottle or grabbing a six-pack and walking out. Internet shopping is the future but that is an additive to the business. That is not going to change the regular store layout; it is not going to kill it. I think the future is going to be a combination of a little bit of everything but create a niche in a specialty alcohol store. Being involved in the community that they are in: I feel that as a business owner who plans on being in the community for a long time, which I do, I should interact with the community and be aware of what’s going on. Know what the neighbors are saying and address any problems we might have because we serve the community. If there is a problem in the community, local business owners should be the ones to help solve that problem – whether it be donating to community that fundraisers or sponsoring events, there are so many ways we can give back. As a business owner the community is putting food on my table every day so there has to be ways I can help repay that. In the Mission Hills/Hillcrest area everyone should be able to contribute to the community. It makes our business better; the neighborhood knows that we are not just here to take money from them but we are also here to support. Being a part of this community is something that I feel very strongly about. Folks need to stop by and meet Andrew and the staff and see all the selections they have to offer, but also get to know their new neighbor. Hills Wines & Spirits is looking forward to and proud to be serving this community. They are even working on having local delivery available to the area starting in early November via their website.
Hills Wine & Spirits 3981 Eagle St, San Diego, CA 92103 619. 230.1188
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
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november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
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parkles and the Chef are two amazing souls that came together. The Chef is Michael Allamon with a background that is definitely a coat of many colors. Pastry and operations are his forte. Sparkles is Jason Allamon with a background in hospitality, weddings, and décor. The two came together and merged their experiences into one! The two were married prior to the pandemic, you should have seen what they did for their wedding. They both took a local Freshii franchise over at the beginning of the pandemic to try to save it from closure. They knew that they could make a difference in people’s lives. We wanted to provide jobs for the community in a safe environment. When the shutdown happened, and they were home bound. The two felt that they could retool Freshii which was a sit-down fast casual dine in restaurant into a takeout and delivery model without any construction while providing healthy food and jobs in our community when so many restaurants were closed.
quality organic product that is preservative free, requires minimum skilled labor and that has packaging that is simple and does not have waste. We use only recycled plastic boxes and minimal cardboard for shipping.
(LtoR) Sparkles and The Chef (photo by Big Mike Phillips)
sParkles & THe CHeF from freShii to caramel caNdy
How has it been to open a retail restaurant in the middle of a pandemic? Besides working 12-15 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 15 months while exhausting, we love what we do. It was business as usual, providing high quality food quickly and the lowest possible price.
By Big mike Phillips
What challenges have you faced? The most challenging issue was in the beginning because so many restaurants were closed there was a glut of perishables and we were receiving vegetables already at the end of its shelf life. We overcame that by cutting what we purchased from the national supply chain and instead we turned to local farmers and farmer markets for 70% of our fresh vegetable needs. This relationship became well served because 7 months into it we saw prices rising 8% weekly with national carriers as more restaurants started coming online. What did you notice in the supply chain? Late trucks, missing items, out of stock; the supply chain broke when we shut down. Over a year ago we made the risky decision to purchase a full year supply of all to go packaging. This was the best decision we made all year as those same supplies rose so much that the price almost doubled in a year, and that’s if you can find them. For example, we launched 24oz Smoothies in early summer and we are still waiting on 24oz cups. Our response was to give two 12oz cups. Cost has in general gone up 80% this year with no relief in sight we predict for at least another 6-12 months cost to rise up to 125%. What is your assessment of the situation for independent restaurants? While 30% of restaurants that closed early in the pandemic are never to reopen, We see another wave of closures in the next 6 months due to
“You never know when something catastrophic might happen, like a worldwide pandemic. CaramelCandyShop.com was born as the direct result of the pandemic.” the skyrocketing cost and lack of labor forcing many more to close their doors. We have been in this industry for a combined total of more than 50 years. Our philosophy has always been to stay on top of trends and research early and be prepared to pivot your business model on a moment’s notice. Always, always, always have a backup plan A and a Plan B, C, and D. You never know when something catastrophic might happen – like a worldwide pandemic. CaramelCandyShop. com was born as the direct result of the pandemic. Why a Caramel Candy company? We have been working on an online candy company
business plan for about 5 years with no time to perform market analysis much less time start a company. The shutdown provided us the time to sit home and think. We became bored quickly and Sparkles and I were sitting outside one day talking to one of our Navy nurse friends; I just had made a batch of caramel to send to my husband’s mother who is a nurse. Our Navy nurse neighbor mentioned “Nurses Day”. So, we made a batch and packaged it in simple parchment paper like grandmother did back in the day. Once the nurses placed a picture on the internet our phone started ringing off the hook from our friends and family asking if we would send
them some. Thus, a business was born. In a matter of days, we had gone thru 200 lbs. of organic sugar. We then moved onto packaging and shipping. This is Sparkle’s creative domain. We were determined to only utilize the United States Postal Service so that we could control shipping cost and provide free shipping. The packaging needed to be economical, simple, provide proper air tightness for freshness and handle shipping. How did you come up with the concept? I am Swiss trained Pastry Chef and Candy maker; this has been my passion for as long as I can remember. We wanted to provide a high-
What makes you different? First, freshness we buy only certified vanilla beans and make our own vanilla extract a process that takes about 9 months. I have been making my own extract for over 30 years the longer you process it the more you developed the true deep vanilla flavor. Our ingredients are all sourced certified organic. We make our caramel in small batches cooked to order. The shipping to our customers occurs within 48 hours of making it. It takes a full 24 hours for our soft chewy caramel to set properly, so by the time it arrives to our customers it’s perfect for cutting into portions and has a shelf life of approximately 30 days, if kept properly wrapped and stored in an airtight container. Our caramel is not to be refrigerated or frozen and is shelf stable. We do not use high fructose corn syrup or any other preservatives. We ship the fresh caramel wrapped in a 16oz blocks (16 portions). Then the fun part: You can cut one portion, eat it, wrap it up for later, or cut the entire block fully and wrap the pieces with the provided parchment paper and give away as gifts or to complete a gift basket project. Great fun for families or friends sitting around the table together to do. The reward that we receive is bringing our passion into the homes of families during the holidays. The gathering of friends, the reuniting of loved ones, and our golden gifts bringing everyone together as a community once again. The online Caramel Candy Shop feels like “home for the holidays” and beyond. By creating a premium product, the reward is an experience that will produce more employment opportunities here in the community. The gift of giving is the most amazing feeling. Seeing the smile and happy joy on a loved one’s face, while they open their gift, is words beyond explaining. Giving is more than receiving. Love is Love! The true meaning of the Holidays is being together and enjoying each other’s company. Sparkles and the Chef love making gifts, giving gifts, and the enjoyment of gifts. Family is a strong connection, true love, and support. Sparkles and The Chef wish each and every one you and your families a fabulous Holiday Season. “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe”. (Anatole France 1844-1924) By going online Sparkle’s and The Chef can reach more homes in more communities across America with their Golden Goodness made in USA with love.
CaramelCandyShop.com
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iNTErNaTioNaL imPEriaL CourT CouNCiL P.o. Box 33915 San Diego Ca. 92163
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
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NOrTH COUNTY News
november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
lgbTQIa+ aDvOCaCY leadS to oceaNSide city coUNcil providiNg more relief for NoN-profitS By allan acevedo
Max Disposti (courtesy image)
21SDG1093_Downed Power Line Print__LGBTQ Times_RUN: 11-4-21__Trim: 6.1” x 10.96”
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t the October 6, 2021, Oceanside City Council meeting, North County LGBTQ Resource Center Executive Director Max Disposti advocated for and won almost triple the funding originally allocated for Oceanside nonprofits struggling during the pandemic. A grant application is still being drafted.
BE SAFE. NEVER GO NEAR A DOWNED POWER LINE.
Pandemic Funding Available From American Rescue Plan Act (ARPA) funds, Oceanside was awarded $32.3 million dollars. The city received half the funds on May 17, 2021. The second half will be received in May 2022. The city has five years, or until 2026, to spend the funds. Assistant City Manager Michael Gossman presented a spending plan update, based on what the council approved in August. The August spending plan only allocated $350,000 to non-profits while allocating $1,000,000 to sand replenishment, $1,000,000 for “homeless initiatives,” $300,000 to businesses, and $327,000 to tourism programs and special events promoting tourism and the local economy. The bulk of the funds, over $12 million, was allocated to replace lost public sector revenue. Of those funds, appropriations were recommended for cooling towers, fire apparatus funding, library youth programming, and swim center renovations. Even accounting for these appropriations, $9.97 million remained.
Report downed power lines to 911 or call 1-800-411-SDGE. If a power line has fallen to the ground:
If a vehicle is involved and you are in it:
• Always assume power lines are live. • Stay far away and never touch a power line. • Never touch any person or equipment that
• Sit calmly until help arrives. • Warn others not to touch the vehicle and
comes in contact with a power line.
direct them to call 911.
• If the vehicle is on fire and you must
leave it, open the door or window and jump clear without touching the vehicle and the ground at the same time.
Get more tips at sdge.com/safety
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on a sense of, “offense and a slap in the face,” to himself and non-profits, who were scheduled to receive fewer than three percent of the overall relief funds available. “Do you know how much San Marcos has allocated?” Disposti asked the dais. San Marcos, a city with roughly half the population of Oceanside allocated $3 million for non-profits, according to Disposti’s public comments. The $350,000 was not enough, Disposti argued, considering that “in Oceanside and the region, [non-profits] are the second largest economy.” In an e-mail sent to council before the meeting, Disposti wrote, “Non-profits contribute to the region’s economy by securing grants, contracts, and other revenues and employ more than 121,000 people.” Disposti emphasized that, “Many non-profits have had to stay open when the city couldn’t even function.” Nonprofits “had to serve new homeless, mental health, people killing themselves,” Disposti added. “I feel very humiliated,” Disposti said. “We met with city managers several times, bringing concerns from communities of color.” Disposti lamented, “There are no true allocations for non-profits,” decrying that, “[Their] concerns were not listened to.” The non-profit leader then went on to criticize the criteria in the draft program, which included proving how much non-profit applicants influence tourist development in downtown Oceanside. “What does that have to do with the work a nonprofit does? That’s not my mission. This has nothing to do with nonprofits. I have to save lives in Oceanside,” Disposti criticized. Though, Gossman later emphasized “It was a misunderstanding” because, “We don’t have a program. We have a draft program.” Sanchez went on to declare, “We depend on these nonprofits, we have depended on them.” Further stating, “They have been working really hard.” She hoped the council would take this opportunity
“Many non-profits have had to stay open, when the city couldn’t even function.” While guidelines for nonprofit grants are still under development and the program has not been launched nor have any of the funds been allocated, Mayor Esther Sanchez released a draft of the nonprofit application to certain community leaders, Disposti amongst them. Disposti’s Advocacy The North County LGBTQ Resource Center is in Oceanside, where Disposti is also a resident. His remarks centered
to “comment on this [spending plan] and make it more relevant to our communities.” After hearing Disposti’s testimony, Deputy Mayor Ryan Keim motioned to increase the allocation to non-profits to $1 million by reducing funds used to replace lost public sector revenue. Councilmember Kori Jensen expressed support contingent upon confirmation that the application would not consider a non-profit’s impact to tourism. The motion passed unanimously.
COUrT News
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november 2021 volume 3 issue 3
gUNMaN aT HIllCresT resTaUraNT TO geT 49 Years FOr 2019 sHOOTINg “who told all theSe gayferS it waS Safe to come oUtSide…?” wrote parKer two weeKS before the ShootiNg. By Neal Putnam
Stefano Markell Parker, (courtesy image)
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man who fired 19 shots into a Hillcrest restaurant in 2019 and miraculously missed hitting anyone has pleaded guilty and has agreed to serve a 49-year prison term. Deputy District Attorney Leonard Trinh said on Oct. 22 that Stefano Markell Parker, now 32, will have to serve 85% of the 49-year sentence before he can be paroled because it involves violent felonies. The motive appears to be hatred of gay people – given what Parker wrote about LGBTQ people on his Facebook page before the Feb. 12, 2019, assault on the Asian Bistro at 414 University Avenue at 7:40 p.m. The police chief and others met with the LGBTQ community days afterwards because a lot of people were shook-up. Parker, wearing a trench coat, stood on University Avenue and fired 19 rounds into the restaurant, busting out all the windows and glass. The restaurant is also known as Golden Dragon with its iconic sign outside. All 11 diners inside ducked down as did the restaurant’s
employees. No one was even injured by flying glass in what a prosecutor at the time called a miracle. Parker then changed clothes and abandoned the rifle, but police arrested him four blocks away. “Who told all these gayfers it was safe to come outside…?” wrote Parker two weeks before the shooting. Parker also wrote “Nothing against gay dudes but (obscenity) they look at you… when they know you don’t swing they(sic) way.” San Diego Superior Court Judge Fred Link set sentencing for Jan. 14, 2022. Parker remains in the George Bailey Detention Facility without bail. Parker was convicted of murder when he was 16 years old in Jefferson, Alabama in the death of another teenager in a drive-by shooting. The Alabama records are not public here as Parker was a juvenile at the time, but he did not receive a long sentence in that 2005 crime. Parker pleaded guilty before Link to five counts of assault with a deadly weapon. Eleven counts of attempted
murder, firing into an occupied building, and felon in possession of a firearm were dismissed. If Parker went to trial and was convicted of all charges, he would have faced 154 years to life in prison. With the 49-year sentence, Parker will have to serve almost 42 actual years before he can be paroled around age 70. Early in his case, Parker was found to be mentally incompetent to stand trial and he was sent to Patton State Hospital for treatment. Doctors there determined he had regained his competency and he was returned to San Diego. Superior Court Judge Cindy Davis found Parker to be mentally fit on April 21, according to court records. Link conducted a preliminary hearing May 18 in which San Diego police officers, criminalists, and agents with the Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms testified. He was ordered to stand trial on all counts. Parker’s murder conviction in Alabama in 2006 will result in him receiving five years consecutively for having a prior felony conviction.
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