LGBTQ San Diego County News June 2023, Issue 4 Volume 17

TALKING IN

Sisters in Arms

San Diego to Host Drag March for Trans Rights

by Benny Cartwright

As states across the country propose bills that strip away the rights of transgender individuals and limit the freedom of expression for those in the drag community, a coalition of San Diego activists and drag entertainers decided to organize the San Diego March for Trans Rights, scheduled for Sunday, June 18.

The stated purpose of the march is “to show support for the trans and non-binary community who continue to be under attack across the country.”

In addition to the onslaught of legislation being proposed and passed, trans community members continue to report increased threats and harassment, which sometimes becomes fatal. The Human Rights Campaign reports that at least 11 transgender and gender non-conforming people have lost their lives in 2023 through violent means, including by guns and interpersonal violence.

See DRAG MARCH page 4

SPECTRUM NEWS BRIEFS THE CENTER AWARDED $100K ‘CHALLENGE GRANT’

The San Diego Foundation, a local nonprofit philanthropic organization, announced on May 12 at the annual Harvey Milk Breakfast that it was awarding a $100,000 challenge grant to the San Diego LGBT Community Center to “support outreach and programming for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer youth in San Diego.”

ABOUT STRIPES

As many La Mesans can attest to, realtor-turned-city councilmember Laura Lothian likes to cause drama. I’m not sure if it’s to distract from all the real issues at hand, or if she’s just one of those people without any real problems, so she has to create them.

I have plenty of real problems – among them: being a newly-widowed, single mom to a toddler; recently losing a good friend and seeing her family suffer in the way I am; and watching politicians who actively try to take our small joys away.

Whatever noble reason she had in mind, Lothian’s ill-conceived proposal to not fly a Pride flag at town hall in La Mesa during Pride month blew up in her face, leaving a trail of rainbow glitter in its wake.

I could not be more proud of the place I was born and raised. Myself, my niece, and a few dozen other allies and queers crowded into the La Mesa Town Hall chamber on Tuesday, March 23, to offer fiery public comments opposing Lothian’s amendment

See FLAG page 2

The challenge grant is basically a matching grant, but is contingent upon The Center raising $100,000 of its own for its recently opened Hillcrest Youth Center.

“At San Diego Foundation, we have a vision for just, equitable and resilient communities,” said Mark Stuart, president and CEO of San Diego Foundation, in a press release. “Our work will not be complete until everyone who calls San Diego home has the opportunity to prosper, thrive and feel like they belong. This grant acknowledges The Center’s important work with LGBTQ-identifying youth and young people in our region.”

Cara Dessert, CEO of The Center, identified San Diego Foundation’s recognition of the work The Center has been doing for LGBTQ youth as “incredibly rewarding.”

“The San Diego LGBT Community’s Hillcrest Youth Center was established in 2000 as a drop-in resource center for high school youth, and since then we have expanded our services and now provide programs and support for youth ages 10 to 24,” Dessert said in a press release. “After 22 years of renting space, the Hillcrest Youth Center will now have a forever home in Hillcrest, which provides more than double the space of our former location.

The challenge grant will be awarded once The Center

See BRIEFS page 2

A Pride flag gets raised in La Mesa, but not without controversy. (Photo by Jen Lothspeich)

Benny Cartwright is back!

Foodie Flashes return

Paris Sukomi Max

THE STRUGGLE FOR EQUALITY: A FIRST-HAND ACCOUNT IN LA MESA by Jen Lothspeich

FLAG from page 1

during the La Mesa City Council’s twice-monthly meeting.

At issue was Lothian’s proposal, “Consideration of Directing Staff to Amend the Policy for the Display of Flags at City Facilities to Only Allow the Display of Government Flags at City Hall,” which in layman’s terms meant putting a stop to La Mesa’s annual raising of the LGBTQ Pride flag.

I said it that night (yes, in a rainbow halter top) and I’ll say it again -- what a waste of time.

There was at least one older woman -- who actually resides in Alpine -- who showed up in loose support of Lothian, saying she’d prefer to see a “sanctity of life” flag (i.e., an anti-choice flag) raised. I would like to counter that ours is a sanctity of love flag, which is the essence of life; plus it’s cuter. The Alpine resident, Mary Davis, later spoke with News 8 reporter Richard Allyn (visit bit.ly/3oEwJ3m to watch full interview) about her critiques.

“I’m really looking for the city to be neutral,” Davis told News 8. “Because if we go down the identity politics rabbit hole, where does it end?”

And here, dear reader is the dog whistle.

“Identity politics” is a way to label something as “other.” Lothian even recently posted a shameful video on Instagram mocking the words “equity,” “inclusivity,” and “diversity” by suggesting making them into a game (to watch her video, visit

BRIEFS from page 1

bit.ly/3C2dRyg). Making these important concepts simple fodder for a drinking game highlights the mockery Lothian also makes of public office. Because somehow wanting fairness and a beautiful, varied representation offends her and her ilk.

And a flag of vibrant (Godmade?) colors to make myself and my niece and my other queer friends and family feel safe and worthy is a threat to someone? Like I say about anything in this world, if you don’t like it -- look away.

Of course, Lothian made sure to paint herself as the victim in all this -- noting that she’s half Guatemalan and her “best friends are lesbians.” You can imagine the collective sighs and rolled eyes in the room for pulling the race and friendship cards. Those things don’t absolve you from bigotry. In fact, I think Laura being a woman of color and having queer friends makes her behavior on the council that much more disturbing.

As the night wore on, several media outlets also covered Carlsbad Unified School District’s decision to not raise a Pride flag for June (to learn more, visit bit.ly/45FZKfO), reaffirming why we make signs and chants to try to remind the bigots that we’re constituents, too.

Back in La Mesa, Lothian’s arguments for even bringing this “matter” to the council rang hollow. It wasn’t even brought to a vote. She said herself she knew it

raises $100,000, and the funds will not only support programming, but also facility upgrades for the Hillcrest Youth Center. To donate, visit thecentersd.org.

HILLCREST CLASSIC CAR SHOW STILL GOING STRONG

Every third Saturday at the Pride Plaza on Normal Street, you can find as many as 20 collectors gathered to show off their classic cars. This event has been ongoing for nearly a decade. Come out between 1-3:30 pm and then grab a beer and a slice next door!

In addition, on every third Sunday of the month, the San Diego Automotive Museum also hosts dozens of classic car aficionados in its parking lot from 7:30-9 a.m. The museum even provides donuts and coffee to attendees! Consider making it a morning by stopping by as you take your early morning Sunday stroll through Balboa Park. Also - if you wish to slide into the Museum afterward, it’s only $10 before 10 a.m. For more info on the museum, visit sdautomuseum.org.

FIRST ‘EQUALITY WINE FEST’ IN PALM SPRINGS

It’s the inaugural year for Equality Wine Fest, taking place July 1, from 1 to 4 pm at Margaritaville Resort (formerly The Riviera Hotel), located at 1600 N. Palm Canyon, in Palm Springs, Calif. “Equality Wine Fest gathers together winemakers, industry professionals, celebrity chefs, vendors, and enthusiasts alike to learn and appreciate great wine and food, and celebrate and support diversity,” states the organizations website.

In addition to wine tastings from a diverse set of LGBTQ+, BIPOC, women-owned, managed or produced California wineries, attendees will enjoy food samples, local community artists and retailers, live music and demonstrations,

wouldn’t go anywhere, but asserted that a rainbow flag is a gateway for other groups with a multitude of “causes” asking for flags.

Well, Laura, this isn’t a cause. This is life or death; especially for our kids.

Representation matters, and if that makes me woke, I’ll wear that title like a crown.

I, for one, am calling on Lothian to resign.

listen to educational speakers, and have the opportunity to participate in a silent auction.

There will be a VIP Grand Tasting experience, which is $40 more, but offers an exclusive tasting with Iron Horse Vineyards; a winemaker talk and meet-andgreet with Jim Obergefell (owner/vinter of Equality Vines), who was also the lead plaintiff for the Marriage Equality case; an additional hour of access; and other VIP-only items. A winemaker’s dinner is also in the works (for an additional fee) and options for making it a weekend of it are available on the website. For tickets, visit equalitywinefest.com/tickets.

CATALINA ISLAND TO HOST PRIDE CELEBRATION

Opening ceremonies for Love Catalina Island’s annual Pride celebration will kick off at 12 noon, Saturday, June 24, with festivities lasting until 10 pm. Starting with a Pride Walk (mini parade/march) along the boardwalk to Casino Point in Avalon, followed by DJs, live performances, various after-parties (starting around sunset), and other events leading up to the main event, taking place at Wrigley Stage at 7:35 pm, featuring California all-girl band, Pulp Vixen. Follow @LoveCatalinaIsland on Instagram for updates on after parties. Love Catalina Island Tourism Authority is a proud member of the International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association. For more information about the event and schedule, visit lovecatalina. com/pride.

COACHELLA VALLEY HARVEY MILK BREAKFAST HONORS TWO LATINO LEADERS

At the 10th anniversary of its own Harvey Milk Breakfast, hosted by Palm Springs Pride board and held at the Palm Springs Convention Center, leaders honored San Diego’s own Nicole Murray Ramirez with its Harvey B. Milk Legacy Award.

–Jen Lothspeich is a local digital content specialist, a passionate freelance writer, and a mom.

Editor’s Note: The Gilbert Baker website, which honors his life and work (Gilbert was the creator of the original rainbow Pride flag), has launched a “Save the Rainbow” campaign. You can see (on a map) all the locations across the nation that

“Ramirez has dedicated more than 45 years of his life to social justice for all. From leading protests during the AIDS crisis to leading the civil rights movement with Cesar Chavez,” the organization stated in a press release.

“I always feel like God’s blessed me to see the emergence and the diversity and the [growth] of both communities; I love the Latino and the LGBT community,” Ramirez said of the honor. “A hate crime against one of our communities is a hate crime against all of us.”

The other honoree, Ricardo Lara, received the event’s annual Harvey Milk Award. In 2018, Lara made history when he became the first openly-gay person elected to a statewide office. Both men honored the next generation of LGBTQ leaders in their remarks.

The annual breakfast, modeled after San Diego’s Harvey Milk breakfast which first launched 17 years ago, honors the birthday and memory of Harvey Milk,

have passed laws banning the Pride flag or making sure it does not get raised for Pride month. The website asks for the public’s support in sharing when other state, city, or local school district rules or laws occur that are not already identified on the map, to keep it current. To learn more, visit gilbertbaker.com/save-therainbow.▼

the first openly-gay elected official in California, and his legacy of groundbreaking inspiration in the struggle to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender equality. It was designed to bring together and strengthen the various coalitions and community organizations that work toward equality in the Coachella Valley.

MEN IN MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS NOW ALLOWED TO GIVE BLOOD

The FDA has released new rules about who can donate blood, and they don’t only impact the gay community. Human Immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is a virus that attacks the body’s immune system and, if not treated, it can lead to acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS). It is transmitted through bodily fluids. During the AIDS crisis in the 1980s, the FDA changed its

See BRIEFS page 4

La Mesa Vice Mayor (and candidate for Assembly District 79) Colin Parent (middle) is surrounded by LGBTQ supporters at the end of the city council meeting May 23. The image was posted on his Facebook page with the quote “Thank you to the LGBTQ+ community members and allies who came out tonight to proclaim June as Pride Month in La Mesa. Look for the Pride flag above City Hall all month long!” (Courtesy Colin Parent)

DRAG MARCH from page 1

Hearing about all of this and wanting to do something to stand up for the community, drag nun and longtime local activist Sister Iona Dubble-Wyde started asking around if San Diego had any plans to show its support like had been done in other cities. (Hundreds of people took to the streets of West Hollywood on Easter Sunday, April 9, to show support and solidarity for the LGBTQ+ community at Drag March LA.)

Learning there were no local plans that had come to fruition, Dubble-Wyde took it upon himself to bring the idea forward and was able to build a coalition to help him, including the San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and drag entertainers Glitz Glam, Paris Quion, Tootie Nefertootie, and Chad Michaels. After gathering for a couple of meetings, the team decided that a San Diego Drag March for Trans Rights was in order, and settled on the June date.

An afternoon of activities has been organized around the event, which will kick-off at Urban MO’s Bar & Grill, 308 University Ave., at noon. In conjunction with the Drag March for Trans Rights, MO’s is also hosting a special edition of

their Sunday #ChurchOfGlam event and will feature a live audience recording of the #GGTV podcast from the dance floor. #GGTV is a local podcast, produced and hosted by Glitz Glam, that includes a regular cast panel who discuss entertainment, local events, news, politics, wellness, the latest shake ups on social media, and more. The June 18 edition of the show will include a discussion of issues related to trans rights and how community members can take action.

During the podcast and up until 3 pm, participants are welcome to gather on the MO’s dance floor space to make signs and posters to use during the march. Organizers say that they will have some supplies available but encourage participants to bring their own.

At 3 pm, the march will begin, with community members gathering outside of MO’s to walk through Hillcrest to Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave. Once the group arrives at Rich’s, a rally is planned at 3:30 pm on the patio, with scheduled speakers to include San Diego Mayor Todd Gloria, City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez, and community activists Courtney Johnson, Tootie Nefertootie, and Joseph Rocha.

March and rally participants under the age of 21 will be accommodated on the sidewalk outside of Rich’s patio, and organizers hope to move the stage closer to that entrance so everyone can see and hear the speakers.

Following the rally, participants will enjoy performances on Rich’s outside patio starting at 4:30 pm. Performers scheduled to appear include Chad Michaels, Glitz Glam, Paris Sukomi Max, Amber St. James, and Kickxy Vixen Styles. The rally and entertainment will be hosted by Mariam T. All tips and donations raised at the event will benefit the San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence’s account with ACLU’s National Drag Defense Operation. To donate in advance, visit bit.ly/ SistersDragDefense.

When approached about being a part of the organizing committee and participating in the event, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 1 winner and San Diego resident, Chad Michaels, agreed immediately.

“As a drag performer, I’m able to take off my makeup, but my transgender siblings’ very existence is at stake,” Michaels said. “This is why

I am marching.”

According to Trans Legislation Tracker, in 2023 alone, 78 anti-trans bills have already passed out of the 555 proposed across the country. Of those, 71 have been signed into law, and 7 others passed but haven’t yet been vetoed or signed. This number will likely change as legislative sessions continue throughout the year -- and the number did increase from 69 bills passed to 78 in the two-weeks since research first began for this story and its publication.

“This legislation seeks to block trans people from receiving basic healthcare, education, legal recognition, and the right to publicly exist,” said event organizers in a press release. “Community leaders in San Diego organized this march to speak out against this hateful legislation while making sure the trans and non-binary communities know that they are loved, seen, and valued.

Dubble-Wyde hopes to see a large showing from the local San Diego community, with folks from throughout the county coming out to support and participate in the march.

“In light of the rising criminalization of trans lives and drag across the country,

our collective San Diego drag personas have decided to make our voices heard,” Dubble-Wyde said. “They are coming for us, our siblings, our families, and our existence, so we are asking all of the LGBTQIAA2P+ community and allies to stand and march with us.”

Sponsors of the event include Urban MO’s, Rich’s San Diego, @HillcrestSanDiego Instagram account, #GGTV, the Church of Glam, San Diego Pride, Impulse San Diego, the San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Imperial Court de San Diego, the Sisters of St. James, Dreamgirls Revue, and AHF Hillcrest Pharmacy.

Additional parking options are currently being reviewed, but the Hillcrest Farmers Market ends at 2 pm and parking at the DMV is free, and other parking nearby should free up shortly after the market’s closing.

Participants and media are encouraged to use the hashtag #SDMarch4Trans when posting to social media about the event.

–Benny Cartwright is the community editor of San Diego County LGBTQ News. Reach him at community@ lgbtqsd.news.▼

A Drag flag. (All drag photos courtesy of Urban MO’s)

Kickxy Vixen Styles will perform after the rally at Rich’s following the drag march

Chad Michaels was an organizer of the march and will perform after the rally.

Glitz Glam will host a special version of #ChurchofGlam and a live audience version of his podcast, #GGTV, prior to the Drag March.

Mariam T will be hosting the rally and entertainment.

Sister Iona Dubble-Wyde learned of drag marches taking place in other cities last month and took action, establishing a coalition to plan one for San Diego.

(Courtesy Sister Iona)

WHEN LOVE LEADS TO DEATH SENTENCING, VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENTS IN LOCAL MURDER

by Neal Putnam

The sister and niece of a local murdered gay man spoke to a judge about their loved one during the victim impact segment of the sentencing hearing and explained why they were always concerned for his safety.

“Ken was so naive, so innocent, we worried someone would take advantage of him and that’s what Ryan Breeland did,” said Kimberli Coons-Banks, a niece of the deceased.

Kenneth Banks, 32, was found dead in a downtown motel room on June 9, 2021, after he was beaten to death by his boyfriend, Ryan Edward Breeland, 43. Breeland was sentenced to 40 years to life in state prison on May 17, 2023.

“Ryan Breeland was a monster,” Coons-Banks said. “Kenneth was used to being picked on by others, but the man he loved would kill him six months later.”

She also spoke to the defendant, now her uncle’s convicted murderer.

“You know how loving Kenneth was. You continued to beat the life out of him!” exclaimed Coons-Banks, staring at Breeland, who stared straight ahead, avoiding eye contact. “You’re not deserving of love! He gave us a life sentence and he deserves that sentence.”

“I can’t believe this happened to my dear, sweet brother,” said Kendra Banks, whose impact statement was read by Deputy District Attorney Taren Brast. “You knew my brother would not defend himself. You took advantage of a person who would not hurt a fly.

“You never loved him and that’s what breaks my heart, because that’s what Kenneth wanted,” Banks’ statement continued. “You tortured my brother. I hope to get some type of closure. I hope you get what you deserve behind bars.”

“Nothing this court can do can bring Kenneth Banks back or give his family closure,” said San Diego Superior Court Judge Rachel Cano.

The victim’s family members said they buried Banks in a white casket adorned with white flowers.

“In our eyes, Kenneth was an angel,” Coons-Banks said.

They said Banks was a gentle soul and a member of a Baptist Church in Encanto.

The family’s remarks partly explain why Banks seemed so passive in the wake of Breeland’s direct threats to him over the phone in a previously recorded call from jail after Breeland was arrested for domestic violence after first injuring Banks in 2021.

Banks told Breeland he wanted to break up with him, and Breeland said “The only way out is the graveyard.” He specifically said he would kill him once he got out, but Banks didn’t seem to react in the recording, which was played in court.

Breeland pleaded guilty to second-degree murder, committing domestic violence, and assault with a deadly weapon. He previously had a felony assault charge, which doubled the sentence.

He was ordered to pay $7,500 in restitution for Banks’ funeral expenses and $959 to Banks’ sister. He was also fined $1,710, but given credit for serving 764 days in jail.

Breeland, wearing blue jail clothes, declined to give a statement in court or for the probation report. His lawyer also declined to make a statement.

With the 40-year sentence and credit for time served given, it is possible Breeland could be paroled when he is in his 80s.

–Neal Putnam is a local crime reporter. You can reach him at neal.putnam@gmail.com.▼

BRIEFS from page 2

policies and excluded gay men from donating blood, since blood was a primary means of HIV transmission. After years of facing claims of discrimination that its policies were not based in science, the FDA began reassessing their lifetime restrictions on gay men, and in 2015, they replaced that ban with a one-year abstinence requirement. In 2020, after blood donations of any kind plummeted due to COVID-19, the agency adjusted the previous ruling to only exclude “any man who had sex with another man within the past three months.”

This continued exclusion still didn’t sit right with activists.

“Current and former blood donation policies made unfounded assumptions about gay and bisexual men and really entangled individuals’ identity with their likelihood of having HIV,” said Sarah Warbelow of the Human Rights Campaign, an LGBTQ advocacy group.

The FDA’s latest policy proposal offers no restrictions to gay - and straight - men in monogamous relationships when donating blood.

New policy requires that all potential blood donors complete a survey about their sexual history to evaluate their individual risk. Those who have had – a new sexual partner, multiple sexual partners, or anal sex – in the past three months, will still be excluded from donating. In addition, those taking medications to treat or even prevent HIV (PrEP) will also be excluded. The policy will also apply to any women who have sex with gay or bisexual men and continue to apply to anyone who has ever tested positive for HIV.

The FDA came to these recommendations after reviewing their own data, in part a study on 1,600 gay and bisexual men, as well as data from other countries with similar policies.

“The FDA has worked diligently to evaluate our policies and ensure we had the scientific evidence to support individual risk assessment for donor eligibility while maintaining appropriate safeguards to protect recipients of blood products. The implementation of these recommendations will represent a significant milestone for the agency and the LGBTQI+ community,” said Peter Marks, director of the FDA’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research.

“We are grateful to the many stakeholders who have participated in this effort and advocated for change, including researchers, study participants, and LGBTQ+ community partners,” said a spokesperson from the American Red Cross when the recommendations were initially proposed, signaling they welcomed the changes.

The FDA sets requirements and procedures for blood banks throughout the U.S. All potential donors answer questions about their sexual history, injectable drug use and any recent tattoos or piercing, among other factors that can contribute to the spread of blood-borne infections. Donated blood is then tested for HIV,

hepatitis C, syphilis and other infectious diseases.

For more information, visit bit.ly/3WDeKqo.

Springs Chamber of Commerce, in a press release. “It is a great way to recognize these individuals who have contributed so much to make our city like no place else.”

CANDLELIGHT CONCERT CELEBRATES QUEER ICONS

The San Diego Central Library is hosting a candlelight string quartet concert to celebrate Pride this month, with hits from LGBTQ musical artists and composers throughout time. Taking place in the state-of-the-art Neil Morgan Auditorium with two performances on June 29 (6:15 pm and 8:30 pm), “Candlelight Pride: Celebrating Queer Musical Icons” will feature the classically-trained DIVISI Amp’d String Quartet, surrounded by the glow of hundreds of flameless candles. The quartet will perform various pieces, including Sam Smith’s “Unholy”; “The Story” by Brandi Carlisle; “Your Song,” by Elton John, and selections by other artists, including Janae Monae, Frank Ocean, Lil Nas X, Chopin and even Tchaikovsky.

The modern auditorium has an acoustically-balanced sound system and is spacious, with seating for up to 300 people. Doors will open 45 minutes prior, with each performance lasting 65-minutes. Late entries will not be allowed. Tickets range between $32 - $60, depending on your proximity to the performers. The San Diego Central Library is located at 330 Park Blvd., Downtown. A 30% discount will be available for a limited time by using code CANDLELIGHTPRIDE30. For more information and tickets, visit bit.ly/42wLinC.

PALM SPRINGS’ ‘WALK OF STARS’ TO ADD LGBT DESIGNATIONS

The renowned Palm Springs Walk of Stars, established in 1992, has honored more than 450 celebrities and local personalities on one of the world’s most famous sidewalks, Palm Canyon Drive, in downtown Palm Springs. Thanks to the LGBTQ+ History & Archives of the Desert, the Walk of Stars will now recognize LGBTQ honorees with a special designation on the Walk of Stars website and its accompanying app. These designations will acknowledge the individual’s contributions to both Palm Springs and the local LGBTQ community.

The update to both digital locations should be completed by this fall. The local Chamber of Commerce sees this as a “significant step” in not only their marketing of the Walk of Stars to the thousands of LGBTQ visitors every year, but to also showcase the importance of these contributors to the area.

“We are so excited to add this new designation to such an amazing program,” said Nona Watson, CEO of the Palm

“The Walk of the Stars Palm Springs will collaborate with the LGBTQ+ History & Archives of the Desert, and the City of Palm Springs, to identify and recognize the deserving individuals who will be recognized with this new designation, and going forward new LGBT honorees will also be able to be recognized,” said David Gray and Julie Warren in the press release.

Gray and Warren are co-founders and co-directors of the LGBTQ+ History & Archives of the Desert, which was recently established to document and preserve the history of the LGBTQ+ community in the Palm Springs area. For more information, visit lgbtqpshistory.org.

ANOTHER STATE FASTTRACKS A ‘DON’T SAY GAY’ BILL

Louisiana has jumped on the bandwagon of conservative-led states who are filing bills which take aim at every level of transgender existence, from bathroom use, to health care and athletics. The state has at least four bills which could pose irreversible harm to LGBTQ people, including the latest measure, which would broadly ban K-12 public school staff from discussing sexual orientation or gender identity in the classroom or during extracurricular activities. LGBTQ advocates say the legislation’s ban does so “in a manner that deviates from state content standards or curricula developed by the public school governing authority.” In addition, the bill would require teachers to only use names and pronouns that aligned with a student’s sex at birth. The measure passed 67-28 in the state house in late April and is on its way to the GOP-dominated senate, where it is sure to pass.

HILLCREST WIND ENSEMBLE TO PERFORM IN BANKERS HILL

On Saturday, June 17, at the Bankers Hill Club, located at 3030 Front Street in Hillcrest, the Hillcrest Wind Ensemble presents “Twentieth Century Rewind,” a performance of pop music representing each decade of the 1900s. There will be complimentary hors d’oeuvres on the patio starting at 6 pm, with doors opening at 6:30 pm, and the concert beginning at 7 pm. Tickets are $25 and can be purchased at the door or online at hillcrestwindensemble.com.

Under the direction of Artistic Director Christian Tordahl, the ensemble will perform songs from musical artists such as Cole Porter and the Beatles to Whitney Houston and even Star Wars. A bake sale featuring homemade desserts and beverages will be the highlight of the intermission.

The 45-piece Hillcrest Wind Ensemble is in its 37th year of performing and is proud to be a musical ambassador for the community as a whole. For more information, visit hillcrestwindensemble.com.

CONTINUED page 5

Kenneth Banks (left) was murdered by his boyfriend Ryan Breeland in June of 2021. (GoFundMe.com; Court file photo)

(Courtesy San Diego Central Library)

GAY RODEO ROYALTY AMONG US

San Diego residents, Tessa Trujillo and Andy Siekkinen, are royalty; they were recently crowned as this year’s Miss and Mr. Golden State Gay Rodeo Association (GSGRA).

Prior to this achievement, the two were bestowed the titles of Miss and Mr. Palm Springs Hot Rodeo 2022.

As members of the Hot Rodeo royalty team, Tessa and Andy served as ambassadors (of the Greater Palm Springs Rodeo Corporation and Palm Springs Hot Rodeo) to the local communities and organizations in the greater Palm Springs area and to the International Gay Rodeo Association (IGRA) and their member associations. This is also their role when they win titles for other gay rodeo associations.

This October, the twosome will compete in Oklahoma for the Miss and Mr. IGRA’s Royalty Team. Visit igra.com.

opening weekend of the popular county fair, Saturday, June 10, from 11 am to 6 pm, with a special comedy show at the famous Turf Club at 7 pm.

“OATF® is the official LGBTQ+ festival of the Fair industry filled with a full day of Family-Friendly entertainment,” said organizers in a press release.

Pauly & Monks and Landa Plenty will be the days’ emcees at the Paddock Stage, with entertainment every hour, including performances by Teddy Martin, Cheer San Diego Extreme, the Cervantes Band, Derek Jameson and Lucy & La Mer.

There will also be an OATF Storytime, OATF Family Fit, and The Glam Show, featuring the San Diego Kings Club, J Lau Farrow-Halston, Victoria Elvatto, Landa Plenty, LUXE the Drag Queen, and Katalina De Isla, with Alexander Rodriguez as emcee.

Free rainbow Pride flags will be available at the OATF booth while supplies last.

At 7 pm in the Turf Club, the LOL Comedy Show will be free for those 18 and older and will include comedic performances from Dana Eagle and John Connolly.

Those partnering with OATF include Flicks, Rich’s San Diego, OutAt Inc, and San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. OATF community partners include VIDA, Bears San Diego, Office of Equitable Communities, Volunteer with Cheli, PFlag, San Diego Pride, Rainbow Spaces, HRC, Family at SD City, Deaf Community Services SD, and GLSEN San Diego.

visit bit.ly/43GlSEP. To learn more about the fair itself and purchase your tickets, visit bit. ly/3CdQpOO.

OUT AT THE FAIR RETURNS JUNE 10

The San Diego County Fair is back for the first time since the pandemic, and that means that OUT at the Fair (OATF) is back, too. The annual tradition will once again help kick off

San Diego County Fair single day admission tickets on June 10 are $20 for adults (13 and older) and $17 for children (ages 6-12) and Seniors (62+). The fair has gone “cashless” so you must buy your tickets online. Game and ride tickets are also available online. San Diego County Fair gates open at 11 am and all OATF activities are included in your general admission ticket. Don’t miss the annual group photo (check with the OATF booth for details). Use the following hashtags on social media.

#OATF #OutattheFair #SDFair

To learn more about OATF

BAHIA HOTEL TO OFFER PRIDE CRUISE ON MISSION BAY

On Saturday, June 15, from 9 pm to 12:30 am, Evans Hotels (who own The Bahia, The Catamaran and The Lodge at

Torrey Pines) invite you to celebrate Pride in a different way by boarding the William D. Evans sternwheeler boat and take a party cruise around Mission Bay. There will be live DJs spinning music, dancing, a cash bar with rainbow drinks and other specials, tray-passed appetizers and other snacks, stunning panoramic views of Mission Bay, and a photo booth to help you remember the evening. Boarding starts at 8:50 pm at the Bahia Hotel, located at 998 West Mission Bay Drive. Hotel parking is reserved for hotel guests, but the Bahia is offering complimentary parking for attendees at Ventura Cove. Outside food and beverages will not be permitted and the cruise is weather permitting. Must be 21+ with a valid photo ID. Tickets are $40 each but groups will be offered a substantial dis-

count (4 - $120, 6 - $160). To learn more and purchase your tickets, visit bit.ly/42p9xUB.

“Love All” at LJP La Jolla Playhouse’s world premiere of “Love All,” the “triumphant story” of sports icon and social justice pioneer Billie Jean King. Written by Anna Deavere Smith, directed by Marc Bruni. Visit lajollaplayhouse.org.▼

(Courtesy Miss Tessa)

(Courtesy Evans Hotels)

(l-r) Billie Jean King, Chilina Kennedy (Courtesy La Jolla Playhouse)

(Courtesy San Diego Fair)

Mom, Guess What?!

by Eddie Reynoso, Publisher

“Mom, guess what? I’m the new CEO of MGW Media,LLC! We publish LGBTQ San Diego County News!”

Those were the words that came out of my mouth on April 16, as I called my mom to explain why I was unexpectedly flying to Sacramento instead of Reno, Nevada, for our family reunion.

Over the course of the next six weeks, those words have come out of my mouth again, and again, and again. As the new publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News, I first want to thank our advertisers and community partners for being loyal to the newspaper.

I also want to thank you -- our readers -- and inform you of some changes at the paper, while also inviting you to be a part of its new journey.

As an admitted history geek who collects historic newspapers and ephemera – especially newspapers that chronicle the first days, weeks, and months of the Stonewall uprising in 1969 – never in my mind did I imagine that I, a gay child of immigrant parents, would become publisher of a long-running community newspaper in our nation’s eighth largest city.

Know that as I go to bed looking at framed copies of historic articles in my collection, I also go to bed reflecting on the role that those publications played in kickstarting the LGBTQ civil rights movement, and our modern Pride marches and celebrations.

How Sweet It Is

by Morgan M. Hurley Editor

I’m back in the saddle!

Many of you know me as the former editor of Gay San Diego newspaper. I was recently asked to return to the helm of the LGBTQ San Diego County News. Return? Yes! You see, I left Gay San Diego to pursue other interests in 2017. Gay San Diego was then sold in 2021 and the new owner established this paper. It just changed hands again and the new publisher, local business entrepreneur Eddie Reynoso, asked me to return.

While I’ve missed writing and being so involved within the community these past 6 years, it was also nice to step back and just be a member of the community for a while. Much has happened, and of course COVID.

Eddie, Benny Cartwright and I all met at San Diego Gay & Lesbian News (sdgln.com); Benny and I helped launch the online media source in 2009, and Eddie joined the sales and marketing team soon after. In the years since, we’ve stayed close and seen each other through ups and downs, watched as we attained victories and endured harsh circumstances, and have always been there for one another.

We are integral parts of our individual circle of friends and each of us is proud of our in-

PUBLISHER Eddie Reynoso publisher@lgbtqsd.news

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Morgan M. Hurley editor@lgbtqsd.news

PRODUCTION/DESIGN Vince Meehan Jerod Thompson

COMMUNITY EDITOR Benny Cartwright community@lgbtqsd.news

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips

WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtqsd.news

ADVERTISING SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news

858-886-9458

dividual accomplishments and what we have each contributed to the greater community, as well.

We decided joining together on this venture would be a positive thing; we have the combined experience to do so and are emotionally and historically invested in its success. I’d say we have a pretty darn solid foundation here to move forward with.

Of course with a new team, there will always be changes; some will take shape in the layout, others in contributors, and also in what is represented across these pages and how.

First and foremost, you will immediately notice that we are starting out with a smaller, tighter paper and a renewed commitment to the local, state, and national LGBTQ news that impacts our daily lives.

I’m also bringing back the Opinion (OpEd) page; we will have monthly opinion pieces and I encourage readers to submit their own editorials when they have something to say. Also returning will be the Letters section, which was a very popular aspect of the previous paper and should always be included in any standard print newspaper, especially one that considers itself a “paper of record.”

In addition to our community voices columnists, we will soon also start a new section where Benny will be out and about asking members of the community to give their opinion on a specific question of the month. People love to see themselves in the paper and it empowers them to participate in the news.

I’m also honored to announce the return of Frank Sabatini Jr. and his popular Foodie Flashes culinary news. He’s been dedicated to the San Diego food and drink scene for decades and was a mainstay in LGBT papers until recently. His quick wit and the wonderful tone of his craft will be a welcome addition to these pages.

We sure hope you come along on this journey with us, we look forward to serving you.

Now, as I think about the upcoming changes and my vision for this paper, I am reminded of a saying by my good friend, and “Queen Mommy Dearest,” Nicole Murray Ramirez, who often says, “A community, indeed a civil rights movement, that does not know where it came from and on whose shoulders they stand on, does not really know where it is going.”

MGW was launched by Sacramento businessman Terry Sidie. He is the owner of Faces Nightclub in Sacramento, and at one point was the publisher of Mom Guess What newspaper, which was in print for over 30 years. Terry had published LGBTQ San Diego County News since 2019, after rebranding Gay San Diego, a paper he purchased from local businessman David Mannis.

SENIOR COLUMNIST

Nicole Murray Ramirez

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Korie Houston

Michael Kimmel

Jen Lothspeich

Connor Maddocks

Mike Phillips

Neal Putnam

Frank Sabatini Jr.

Patric Stillman

PUBLISHER EMERITUS

Terry Sidie

David Mannis

ASSOC. PUBLISHER EMERITUS

Nicole Murray Ramirez

SUBMISSIONS / NEWS TIPS

For tips, stories, letters to the editor, or other media inquiries, email editor@lgbtqsd.news.

This past April, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Imperial Court of Sacramento, Terry gave away over $85,000 to various Sacramento organizations, as well as the Equality Business Alliance -- San Diego’s LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce & Visitor Center – an organization that I founded and currently serve as its executive director. Along with his donations, Terry added me to the board of MGW Media, LLC, and transfered his shares, effectively making me the new CEO and publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. He will remain on the MGW Media board.

LGBTQ San Diego County News will continue to be a monthly publication with the eventual goal of returning to a bi-weekly print paper in the future. You will see us rebrand the paper and update our website.

And I am excited to announce that Morgan M. Hurley is joining the paper as Editor-in-Chief, along with Benny Cartwright as Community Editor, Vince Meehan, and Jerod Thompson on graphic design and layout.

NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE

DISTRIBUTION

LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free monthly. © 2023. All Rights Reserved.

EDITOR’S NOTE

The opinions written in this publication’s advertorial, editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

Eddie Reynoso (Photo by Cali Griebel)

LGBTQ San Diegans Appointed to Police Commission

San Diego citizen voters, by over 70%, supported a ballot measure that would permanently establish a Police Practices Commission. The new Police Commission will investigate shootings by police officers and in-custody deaths, as well as review complaints against police officers and police practices within the San Diego Police Department.

Over 60 San Diegans were nominated with the nine City Council members having to vote on the final nominees, each who had to receive the vote of five councilmembers. Six members of San Diego’s LGBTQ community were elected: Doug Case, Mark Maddox, Joseph Smith, Bonnie Benitez, Dennis Larkin, and myself.

City Councilmember Monica Montgomery Steppe is greatly responsible for establishing this Police Commission, as she has been an outspoken advocate for police reform and oversight.

City Councilmember Sean Elo-Rivera should be acknowl-

edged for conducting a meeting – which lasted over four hours and took five rounds of balloting – with such calm, professionalism, and fairness.

I want to most sincerely thank our nine City Councilmembers for their unanimous vote of confidence in me. I will be a fair and honest member of this commission who, as a person of color and an LGBTQ man, feel this Police Commission was long overdue. San Diego will be getting a new Police Chief next year, as Police Chief David Nislett will be retiring.

Police/LGBTQ Baseball Game Set for August

Yes, you read right, San Diego will finally join every major city in the United States, when a softball game will be held in August between a softball team from the San Diego Police Department and softball players from our LGBTQ softball league. This will be a charity game benefitting the San Diego Police Officers Association’s Widows and Orphans Fund, Being Alive, and a transgender health program. It will surely be a fun outdoor event and will include drag cheerleaders, special baseball celebrities, and VIPs, and everyone is invited. We have been already meeting and planning this historic event, so to request for more info email Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com.

San Diego Drag March Set for June 18

Yes, San Diego will also be joining cities across North America on Sunday, June 18, with a march in support of drag queens and trans performers. This march was organized by San Diego legends Glitz Glam, Chad Michaels, and Paris Quion. Starting at 5 pm, it will

begin with a ,then a rally with special speakers and outstanding entertainment.

Drag queens have played a most important role in the history of San Diego’s LGBTQ community, especially in the early 1970s as drag shows were the major and almost only successful fundraising events that fueled our community’s movement. Remember, drag was not only illegal in San Diego during the 1970s, but homosexual acts in California were illegal until 1976. Support San Diego LGBTQ County News!

Yes, our newspaper has gone through some major changes in ownership and staff. Popular Sacramento businessman Terry Sidie has turned the paper over and now it’s under the leadership of well-known and respected activist Eddie Rey (executive director, Equality Business Association). I will be continuing to write a column as I have since 1973 with the then San Diego Son. I wish to most sincerely thank Cesar Reyes and JP for their major contributions building this paper to what it is today.

And a big welcome aboard to our new award-winning editor Morgan! Every city needs an LGBTQ newspaper and we are the only one as there are Latino, African American, and Filipino newspapers in San Diego. Support the San Diego County LGBTQ News because it supports you!

–Nicole Murray Ramirez is lifelong Latino and LGBT activist and advocate, a longtime city commissioner, and is the Queen Mother of the International Imperial Court of the Americas. He can be reached at nicolemr1@gmail.com.▼

MOM, GUESS WHAT from page 7

We’ve recruited a spectrum of talented individuals from diverse backgrounds to join our team, some of whom Morgan will be sharing about in this issue, along with others who she will introduce in the coming issues. Together they will help us better cover local news, craft better features, and show you the spectrum of faces, places, businesses, and events that make San Diego and our surrounding communities a thriving place to live, work, play, and invest in.

Thanks in part to funding from the California State Library’s “Ethnic Media Grant,” and additional funding from the City of San Diego, our team will have a more solid platform to elevate a broader spectrum of voices within our community, and the issues that impact them the most, while also providing even greater opportunities for our business community to have access to the resources and ad market that will help their businesses grow.

As publisher, staff, advertisers, and readers, it is our collective responsibility to empower our community. Businesses support our organizations. Organizations support our people. And people support our businesses. It’s a circle of support and giving that makes our community strong. But part of that strength comes from being able to make the wheel spin in both ways, and it is something that in my role as executive director of the EBA, a non-profit business organization, I strongly believe in. I plan on using my resources and this newspaper in that effort and invite you to be part of fostering growth within our community.

As veterans of this and other community publications, our entire team has seen the astounding growth of digital media, and we have first-hand knowledge of how that has affected print newspapers.

I am looking forward to working with our team to improve our products, and grow our business in both areas of media, but first it’s your turn to tell us what features you would like to see in your community newspaper. Please email your thoughts and suggestions to myself and Morgan at publisher@lgbtqsd.news, and editor@lgbtqsd.news.

I am excited for this new chapter in my life, and grateful for this opportunity. I want to thank Terry for believing in my ability to steer this company into the future, based on values that are so important and meaningful to both of us. I also want to thank him for his incredible donation of $50,000 to ensure that this paper continues to provide our community a voice and reiterate my promise to one day pay this opportunity forward to someone else.

I also want to thank Nicole Murray Ramirez, Big Mike, Mike Rosensteel, Ryan Bedrosian, Leonella Martin, Keex Rose, Andres Valdes, Michael Phillips (Richs), Gardenia Partridge, Vaughn Avakian, Nick Carpenter, Estella Sanchez, Jesse Sanchez, David Powell, and Mario Garcia -- who have all listened, offered support, encouragement, and helped me to think BIGGER.

I also want to thank the staff of Explore Digital, as well as Evelyn Rose and Cali Griebel, for their services and help; Michelle Burkart of Th!nk Resolution for her fiduciary guidance; and Austin Evans for his legal advice. Also a big thanks to Ken St. Pierre, publisher of Modern Luxury San Diego; Fred Palmer, publisher of Outword Magazine in Sacramento; Russ White, publisher of Q Vegas in Las Vegas; Echo Menges, editor of The Edina Sentinel in Edina, Missouri; publisher Michael Yamashita and VP of advertising, Scott Wazlowski, both at the Bay Area Reporter in San Francisco; along with Todd Evans, CEO of Rivendell Media, who is our national advertising rep. Each of these individuals has given me advice and guidance in taking this big step in my career. Finally, I want to thank Morgan, Benny, Vince, and Jerod for their leadership and help on our journey together.

I am honored to serve as publisher for LGBTQ San Diego County News. Thank you and kindest regards. ▼

How Did I Get Here?

For those who know me personally or have seen me on social media over the years, you may have noticed that I am all about preserving and remembering people from my past.

As the LGBTQ San Diego County News has recently transitioned to a new owner, I have been invited to stay on to share the stories of my past, including the people, locations and events that have helped me grow these last 33 years living in San Diego.

This year actually marks a milestone for me; I have lived in this incredible city and community for half of my life. I moved to San Diego when I was 33 years old, and it was the best decision I ever made.

Before I go any further, I would like to extend my congratulations to our new publisher Eddie Reynoso, and new editor, Morgan Hurley. I am excited about the future and very grateful for the opportunity to be a part of its growth, so thank you.

Since I will be focusing a lot on the past, I would also like to say thank you to the former publisher, Terry Sidie, and associate publisher, Nicole Murray Ramirez, for allowing me a platform to introduce you to so many wonderful individuals that we share our community with.

I learned a lot about my writing abilities through our past editor, JP Emerson, and creative director, Cesar Reyes, who gave me editorial freedom at times. The best education is when given a challenge and you get to work through it. I feel I was able to learn so much from JP and Cesar’s belief in me, and for that I will always be grateful.

In my first new column, which I’ve named “The Shoul-

ders I Stand Upon,” I’d like to share the story of my beginning here in San Diego. My story is on the sad side, but it is my truth, and it is why I am here.

Growing up in San Antonio, Texas, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would move to San Diego, but unfortunately in 1988, my very best friend in my life, Tino Graziano, was living with AIDS.

Tino had been living in New York City, where he was originally from. He had been admitted to the hospital due to complications from the AIDS virus, where he was put into a bed and wheeled into a broom closet for three full days. After the third day, he pulled all the IVs he had in his body out, put on his clothes and walked out of that horrible hospital.

He began researching where the best treatment for AIDS could be found in the United States. At that time, and probably still today, San Diego was renowned for having the best AIDS research and care through UC San Diego Health, specifically their Owens Clinic.

Deciding after his extensive research that San Diego would be the place to get the proper health care he needed, he bought a one-way ticket and moved to San Diego.

Tino and I stayed in touch on a regular basis. Now you must remember, we didn’t have cell phones in those days, and long distance phone bills were very expensive. I’m sure many of you remember those very high phone bills yourselves. We tried to call each other once a week, but always kept our time speaking short. He seemed to be very happy living in San Diego, and was starting to feel much better, so much better that he went ahead and bought a round trip ticket to San Antonio to visit me. Unfortunately, once his doctor learned of his plans, he encouraged him not to travel. Since he had already paid for the tickets, Tino called and asked if I would visit him instead, and he would change the name on the tickets so I could use them.

So on Aug. 4, 1989, I flew and landed in San Diego. Tino had his next-door neighbor come pick me up and take me to his cute little cottage. I was not prepared when I finally got face-to-face with Tino, the virus had taken over his body to the point that I did not recognize my best friend. As soon as we saw each other, however, we just hugged so tight and would not let go. After not seeing each other in over two years,

we were finally back together. I did everything I could do to hold back my emotions. Tino was so excited and so full of joy because I was with him, I was not going to show any sadness on my part.

In the week I was there, I went along to all his appointments throughout the day. It was then I learned and witnessed the compassion, kindness, love and care (that any human being deserves) coming from San Diego, especially the LGBT community, places like Being Alive, The Gay & Lesbian Center, the food banks, the Owens Clinic, just to name a few. I knew then that he had chosen the best place to be taken care of.

The moment I saw Tino, the only thing that had not changed in his appearance was the twinkle in his eyes. His heart and mind were still the same. He lived on hope, but knew he was dying at the same time.

On August 11, I flew back to San Antonio, but before I left, I told Tino I was going to be back the following week to help take care of him so that he had someone who loved him make sure he would never be alone (I was not going to let my best friend die alone).

And that is exactly what I did.

As soon as I got home, I quit my job, sold most everything I owned, put the rest in storage, and bought a one-way ticket back to San Diego.

It was Aug. 18, 1989. That day changed my life forever.

I found a place to live right away, thanks to a mutual friend of both Tino and I. He was very kind and allowed me to live there while I got settled and

could pay my portion of the rent. I found a job with Embassy Suites downtown working in banquets for the Christmas season. I have never worked so hard for such little pay in my life.

Soon after I had started my new job, I went to visit Tino in the hospital, like I would every single day. He was in a great mood because the doctors told him he would start a new treatment that had just come out (which was the whole reason Tino had moved to San Diego in the first place).

After I left his room, however, I knew in my heart that it would be the last time I would hug him, say goodbye, and tell him how much I loved him. I stood outside his door, leaned against the wall, and cried quietly like a baby. I went to work after seeing Tino and received a call about four hours later from his doctor saying he had passed peacefully in his sleep. I was heartbroken.

Before Tino became sick, he loved volunteering for various charity events; usually he would work the door, or help in so many other ways. In those months after I moved to San Diego before he passed, Tino and I often talked about what I would do after he was gone.

I remember one day, out of the blue, he said, “Big Mike, I want you to promise me and yourself to stay and give San Diego at least one year. I know for a fact in my heart you will fall in love with San Diego, like I did.”

I did promise him, and myself, that I would give San Diego a year. Even though I had lost my best friend just a few weeks after that conversation, it was because of Tino, I found a new life, new friends, and made a new home with the family of the people I have grown to love. That one year has now lasted 33. Thank you, Tino, you are in my heart every day.

My goal with this column is not to write sad stories, but to let you know that my past and yours are filled with memories of sacrifice that may have helped others in the future. In those sacrifices, there is also a lot of joy, laughter and fun times that also helped us move forward, which I look forward to sharing with you.

If there is anything you may remember about time you’ve spent with me, please remind me so I can share those stories. San Diego has a wonderful history of stories of survival, acceptance, disappointment, fundraising, activism, and trying to understand our differences. I invite you to follow my column to understand my past and how I have grown with the help of many of you. I need and encourage your feedback, and stories of the times we have spent together. Living and learning from our past will make our future better for equality and acceptance for everyone. These are the shoulders I stand upon.

(l to r) Big Mike, his friend Pam, and Tino, 1980

Big Mike and Tino, 1984 (All photos courtesy Mike Phillips)

The front door of the Owen Clinic at UC San Diego, where miracles happened for AIDS patients in the 1980s

A Familiar Place

BENNY’S BACK

by Benny Cartwright

It feels strange and also exciting to sit down and write a column again, something I did regularly for many years starting at about 24-years old. Now, at 43-years old, it has been threeand-a-half years since I last wrote a column - that column was called “Benny on the Block” and actually appeared in this paper on Jan. 17, 2020.

For so many years, I have been given the privilege to share my thoughts with the community in a variety of ways and publications and I’ve found that it’s something I really enjoy doing. In fact, I started out by creating an email list in 1999 to connect with San Diego State University’s LGBT community, which really had very few other outlets on campus. Using my Hotmail account (which at the time was appropriately “blondespike@hotmail.com”) I would send out weekly updates about upcoming events of interest on and off campus, links to news articles related to the local LGBT community, and other resources. Back then, Hotmail only let users send to 50 email addresses at a time, so as my list grew to over 500 subscribers, I’d have to send out the same email multiple times. We eventually transitioned to Yahoo! Groups, which made this much easier, and I was so glad to see that the Lambda Archives digitally saved all of these emails in their collections.

I interned for the Gay & Lesbian Times starting around 2003, and in 2005, I wrote my first official column for Update newspaper, called, “Out With Benny.” When I was offered the column, I remember visiting the paper’s office in Bankers Hill to meet the staff and discuss details like deadlines, how much I would be paid, and such. I’ll never forget the publisher, Tom Ellerbock, saying to me, “Benny, we’re going to make you a star!”

While my work in LGBT media certainly hasn’t brought the fame or stardom promised by Ellerbock, it has elevated me into a trusted source in our local community, and I don’t take that responsibility lightly.

As the years progressed, I wrote for a variety of other publications, including The Lavender Lens, LEZ, Rage, Rocket, GED Magazine, SDPix, Gay San Diego, Uptown News, and my longest tenure with San Diego Gay & Lesbian News (sdgln. com – later sdlgbtn.com) before it ceased publication in 2021.

As we all know, the world was turned upside down in 2020, and since then, our local LGBTQ media has been in flux as well, so I am so honored to be a part of this next phase for LGBTQ San Diego County News.

What am I going to write about in my upcoming columns?

I’m honestly not quite sure yet. My past columns have been about everything from my love life, to nightlife happenings, to observations on the people and organizations that hold power in the community. It’s likely that my future columns will be a mix of these things, as well as sharing opportunities for people to get involved in the community.

In fact, in all my years of participation and activism in the local community, I am most proud of being able to connect so many others and then seeing them thrive years later. It can be hard to get involved in the community, but there are many ways to do so depending on how you want to be involved. I’ll look forward to sharing opportunities throughout my columns and other work with this publication.

Before closing this first column, I wanted to share a couple of upcoming events that I’d like to invite everyone to participate in:

#HillcrestSanDiego Day at the San Diego Zoo

In the spirit of events like Out at the Fair and Out at the Park, Rick Cervantes and his popular Instagram account @ HillcrestSanDiego, are hosting an unofficial meet-up day at the San Diego Zoo on Saturday, June 3. This is really just a day for our Hillcrest community (and beyond) to get (slightly) out of the neighborhood and explore our amazing Zoo, which is literally just steps away from home. Participants should purchase their own passes/ tickets and can come and go throughout the day; the Zoo is open from 9 am to 9 pm. At 2 pm, there will be a big #HillcrestSanDiego photo at a spot in the Zoo, as well as a couple other meetups between 12 noon and 3 pm. Head over to @HillcrestSanDiego on Instagram for all the details.

County Supervisor District 4 Community Forum for Hillcrest

I’m really proud to be organizing a forum for our neighbors and others to learn about the candidates vying for the County of San Diego District 4 Supervisor seat in the Aug. 15, 2023, special election (this is the election to replace Natahan Fletcher, who recently resigned).

The County Board of Supervisors is an incredibly powerful body that has quite a bit of influence over our day-to-day lives, especially in the areas of support for mental health and social services, as well as homelessness.

On Monday, June 26, 2023, Rick Cervantes, @HillcrestSanDiego, and I are organizing a forum, so our neighbors can meet and ask questions of the three confirmed candidates: Janessa Goldbeck, Monica Montgomery-Steppe, and Amy Reichert. The event will be held at Rich’s San Diego on the outdoor patio, located at 1051 University Ave. Seating will begin at 6 pm and the forum is from 6:30-7:45 pm.

Everyone, including all ages, is welcome! Keep an eye on my Instagram page @BennyC80 for more information.

It’s a thrill to be back writing for my community again and I look forward to sharing so much more in the months ahead!

–Benny Cartwright is a longtime activist and community leader. Reach him at community@lgbtqsd.news. ▼

What does Pride mean to you?

It’s the beginning of June. For many people, it’s the start of the summer; beaches, pool parties, vacations and fireworks. Sounds wonderful right?

Well Houston, we have a problem.

It happens to be Pride month during a time when legislators are attacking our rights from all angles, so I want to talk about what pride means to me, how to hold community for each other, and what it means to go beyond being an ally.

I’ve navigated topics of love, dating and so much more, but Pride is a time when there’s more important things on the table.

For those who don’t know, the first Pride was held on June 28, 1970. It was to commemorate the anniversary of Stonewall, which for all intents and purposes was a riot. It was a fight for survival, a fight for freedom and a fight for liberation. If I didn’t emphasize it enough, it continues to echo in the work of many organizations and activists to this day. There’s a reason why we need to hear names like Martha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Harvey Milk, and so many more. These are some of the most visible individuals, but I haven’t even scratched the surface. We could go down a rabbit hole that never ends to discuss the contributions of others. I want to remind our community, and those who are our staunch allies, that beyond the parties, parade floats, and glitter, there’s so much more to who we are.

I’ve participated in Pride since 2017. I wasn’t out before then (shocker, I know) and it was an unforgettable experience. I made new friends, celebrated with a loved one and truly felt in that moment what it meant to be in community. Since then, I’ve worked pride in one of our beloved queer spaces, marched in the parade with dear friends, and organized my own contingent to support students experiencing their first Pride.

Through my experiences, I’ve found that my meaning of Pride is being surrounded by people who would risk anything to know that we’re all going to be okay. It’s about carrying your heart on your sleeve and remembering that everyone in that moment feels like royalty. All in all, the beauty of Pride is in people coming together to celebrate one another. What happens when those celebrations are over? Do we return to the closet? Do people put their rainbows away? When I talk

about allyship, I truly mean the advocacy that we invest in and the importance of showing up. When our rights are taken away, who will get hit the hardest? We live in a time where it sometimes feels trendy to throw a rainbow on something and say, “We support you.” But support isn’t something that should just go away when it gets hard. Being an ally is the bare minimum, it’s just a label that anyone can use. Being an advocate is what makes or breaks the work of true allyship. Advocates are people who will stand up for you. People who will speak when they’re called upon and not take over the conversation. There are so many layers to this community that it can be daunting to know where to start. But it’s not always about knowing where to start, it’s about being the type of person that if someone ever came out to you as gay, trans, queer, or whatever term that may mean something to them in the moment, would you hold space in your heart and do whatever you could to get them the love and care they needed right then and there?

It’s easy for someone like me who’s been doing advocacy work for close to a decade to sit here and say it’s so simple. But it’s not and I understand. Times have changed though, and baseline work just isn’t going to cut it.

Here in San Diego, there are so many brilliant organizations and phenomenal people doing the work, and to me, that is exactly where we should start. I’m not here to say don’t celebrate Pride in the ways that make sense to you. Pride has many meanings for different people and at its core, it’s more than being about who we sleep with, who we choose to love and who we were born to be. It’s also about building a coalition, a community and a network that can actively transcend barriers. Places like The Center, Mama’s Kitchen, and TransFamily Support Services, are just a few of these special organizations doing the work that Stonewall paved the way for. During this Pride season I want to remind everyone when you’re watching the parade, check out the organizations who show up every day to do this work. Go to the festival and talk to every booth

and organizer you see. Volunteers are needed every day and it’s not a one-time commitment. As I already stated, there’s a beauty to being part of this community. The truth is we hold so much power within our identities that we should always lift one another up. Some of us don’t have the luxury to turn a blind eye to the political arenas we live in. Some of us don’t have the privileges, the rights, and the safety to be able to march in the streets to stand up for what we believe in. But we have our voices, agency, and the ability to be creative in a country and a world that at many times dares to tell us who we should be. How can we all be better advocates? Show up to rallies when our transgender and non-binary communities ask for support. Donate your money to worthy causes; whether it’s to fund HIV research, supporting drag performers who don’t feel safe in their respective states for fear of repercussions, or even just visit local LGBTQ+ establishments to support their businesses. We’re more than a spectacle to watch when you want entertainment. We live outside of the bounds of rainbow washing and the bounds of showing up when it’s easy to. Brunches and bingos are great, but we also want you to show up when it’s difficult because the people who live within the margins don’t truly know who believes they’re worth fighting for if right in their own backyard, we can’t show up when they need it. Be in solidarity, be in community and just be there.

To our community, we must continue to build ourselves up, because we’ve proven time and time again that we can advocate for ourselves, before, during and after pride. For many of us, to live out loud every day is an act of resistance, but there are so many ways to live our lives even if at times many of us have had to hide. We can’t control how others respond to our existence, but we can continue to just be ourselves.

In the end, what does Pride mean to you? How will you show up for your community, next?

–Korie Houston is a local social justice advocate. Reach him at koriehouston@zoho.com.

Korie Houston reflects on the regality of Pride. (Courtesy K. Houston)

Benny joined

How to End it With Your Therapist

Have you ever had a therapist? If so, how did you decide when your work together was done?

As a therapist for over 20 years now, I’ve had a few clients who found it difficult to tell me when they were “done” (or “done for now”). They usually don’t have to tell me, I can tell when we’re finishing up: the sessions start to become more social and less psychological. Often, it’s me who suggests that maybe the client has achieved what he/she came for – and –would they like to stop and integrate all that they’ve learned?

I’m excited when a client achieves what they came in for because it makes me feel good to be a part of their growth and progress. I don’t want clients to become dependent on me; that’s not what good therapy is about. Good therapy is when you come in with some things about yourself that you’d like to

change and – by working with a therapist – you change those things.

Ending your work with your therapist might bring up lots of emotions. After all, your therapist may be one of your closest confidants. But if your therapy has reached a point where it isn’t doing much for you anymore, ending it can be a positive thing, like a kind of “graduation.”

If you’re not getting what you want out of your therapy, tell your therapist! It’s useful for us therapists to know so we can pivot and make sure that you get what you need. Clients’ needs change over time and good therapy always follows you, the client, and what you want. It’s not about the therapist; that’s why I think every therapist needs to have their own therapist, to keep our sessions totally focused on our clients, and not let our own stuff “leak” into their session.

Here are some ways to know that it’s time to “break up” with your therapist:

You feel like your work with them is done.

You feel like you haven’t made much progress lately.

Your therapist disrespects your boundaries, (e.g., flirts with you, wants to be your friend).

Your therapist isn’t open to feedback from you.

Your therapist talks too much about themselves.

If your therapy isn’t giving you what you want, you’ve discussed your feelings with your therapist and they’re receptive, give them a few more sessions to see if there’s an improvement.

On the other hand, if you‘re sure that you’re “done,” a good therapist will understand where

you’re coming from and give you referrals to other therapists, if you want them.

One of the best parts of ending therapy is practicing saying “goodbye.” We often don’t get the chance to have clean closure in relationships, a face-to-face conversation in person or over video chat is a great way to do that. Talk to your therapist about why you’re stopping. Don’t just “ghost” them. It’s good for both you and your therapist to have an honest, respectful discussion of why it’s time to wrap it up.

As a therapist, I don’t take it personally when someone wants to stop coming in. I want to learn from the experience to see if there’s anything I can do in the future to be an even better therapist. It’s a growth opportunity for me, too. If your therapist gets upset or tries to talk you out of leaving, that’s another good reason to terminate therapy. Remember: It’s about you, not them.

At the end of the day, the only person who knows whether or not your therapist is being helpful is you. There are plenty of other therapists out there, so don’t stay with a therapist who isn’t helping you. It’s your time and your money. You get to decide where and with whom you want to spend it. A good therapist will respect and understand your decisions, and a bad one isn’t worth working with, anyway!

–Michael Dale Kimmel is a locallicensed psychotherapist (LCSW 20738) in private practice and an author. You can learn more about him and his work at lifebeyondtherapy.com.▼

Traveling While Trans

With summer nearly upon us, and so many places to explore in the world, it’s time to think about those fabulous vacations you’ve been planning. While Trans folks love traveling and flying off to exotic places as much as anyone, there are some very real considerations when planning your trip.

Let’s suppose you want to visit the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. I was there a few years ago, it’s very beautiful with lots to see and do.

Unfortunately,Tennessee has now become a place of hate and discrimination against the Trans community. They have passed 14 anti-LGBTQ laws since 2015, more than any other state in the country. They have declared that your birth sex is immutable for life, and these laws prohibit lifesaving medical care for our Transgender youth and youth who are currently on hormones or the hormone blockers have one year to wean off. Tennessee also recently banned Drag performances in any public place, stating they must be performed in age-restricted private places. The list goes on and on.

First of all, personally I never want to spend any of my money on anyone from this state. You might say, well the people don’t agree, or it’s not fair to punish the fine citizens of Tennessee, but excuse me!! These fine citizens voted in this Governor and all state legislators, so yes they are supporting this insane bigotry. I am sure there are plenty who don’t support it, but I have to take the state as a whole, there is always a price to be paid. So traveling to Tennessee is out of the question. Besides the monetary concerns, let’s think about safety.

In a state where the government and people actively seek to harm their own children, do you think they would care about you there? What if you were stopped by the police and they assumed you were Transgender, though the federal laws in our country don’t allow discrimination based on our gender identity, when you are in podunk backwoods places, those officers can pretty much do anything they want to you. What about stopping for gas? Buying supplies along the way? Enjoying a picnic along the route? Anyone of those folks you interact with could be the devil on earth and do harm to you, either mentally or physically, because people from these anti-Trans, anti-LGBQ states could very likely be the ones who encouraged their lawmakers to do their evil work.

What about healthcare? Accidents happen, sickness can come out of nowhere. Even though I doubt anyone would assume I was Transgender, I wouldn’t trust the medical community in these states to care for me once they found out. I wouldn’t trust that the person traveling with me would be allowed into the ER or be able to speak to medical personnel about my care if we were not related. If you are a same-sex couple or even legally married, some hate-mongering staff person could just blatantly decide that you are not allowed to participate in the decisions or even see your spouse.

Some states have passed bills that allow any medical personnel to refuse to treat us based solely on their own personal religious beliefs. The damage is done in the moment, lawsuits come after the damage is done.

So I encourage you to plan your trip very carefully. Even driving through a state, or a particular area in any state, may have bad consequences as I have previously mentioned. Do your research; read articles by Travelers Associations, the Federal Government or even on a state’s website. Check for what laws have been passed that are filled with Trans hate. See which bills are still pending. Join a blog and ask if others have been there and have some tips for you. Research the specific city, town or area you want to visit.

So now we have decided to fly to our fabulous destination. What could possibly go wrong for us while traveling? Actually plenty. Not all airports are friendly to our community. Research the specific airports you will travel through (and your destination airport) by their name with a search of anti-trans/LGBQ incidents that may have happened there or local government laws, like bathroom bills and healthcare discrimination, in that city.

No matter how you travel in the US, either by road, air, train, or even just for use at home, you should download the app called Mobile Justice. It is designed by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) to help you whenever trouble happens.

The app will allow you to record any encounter with a public official, lawmaker, law enforcement, or TSA agent, and it will at the same time stream to any contact you choose, as well as the local ACLU where you currently are. It will be useful to report abuse by any person with authority directly to the ACLU. The app will also empower you by having the latest information about your rights and activities in the area you are in. It will also give you news on the current happenings in the U.S.

So now the elephant in the room, airport security. According to the Federal Government’s TSA website here are some things you must know.

First, when booking your flight, make sure your airline ticket has the exact same name as the official identification you will be using. It can be a passport or driver’s license or ID card from your state of residence.

TSA will not be looking for a gender marker, which may be different from your identity, anymore. As of 2023, the X marker on your ID is a valid gender marker for TSA. You can check with the airlines if

Foodie Flashes by Frank Sabatini Jr.

Eclipse Chocolate in South Park Transitions to Online Only

Chocolatier and LGBTQ community member William Gustwiller said goodbye to his 4,000-square-foot Eclipse Chocolate shop and cafe on Memorial Day after operating the business for a little more than a decade.

“I expected to be in South Park for 20 years, although since the beginning of Covid we haven’t been profitable. But we gave chocolate a lot of visibility,” he told us shortly before holding his last weekend brunch.

The Eclipse brand, however, will persevere via the website (see below), allowing consumers anywhere in the US to order Gustwiller’s confections, which include high-quality chocolate bars, truffles, caramels, drinking chocolates and his recent line of blended sprinkles, which fall under the name Sprinkle Magic.

Just in time for the Pride season, he recently tailored a special selection of sprinkle blends for the occasion, using different colors and shapes. They include “Love is Love,” “Over the Rainbow,” “Pretty in Pink,” and more — all available on the website as well.

In addition, Gustwiller has in the works a “lunar-themed chocolate subscription box” containing monthly assortments of Eclipse’s most popular confections, pastries and savory treats. Due to launch in July, subscribers within San Diego County will enjoy free delivery. eclipsechocolate.com.

Saucy Sisters

Three gluten-free vegan sauces created by three sisters represent the growing success of Sistry Foods, a homegrown wholesaler that has landed on the shelves in retailers such as Sprouts Market and Harvest Ranch Markets in Encinitas and El Cajon. The sauce line features chili chipotle, ranch, and jalapeno-cilantro.

The products were carefully formulated by siblings Diane Zoura, Darlene Zoura, and Daphne Khairo, a few years ago from a local home kitchen because of food allergies experienced by different family members. They contain “clean and healthy ingredients” such as avocado oil, chili peppers and herbs.

Their sauces can also be purchased on Wednesdays and Saturdays at the Little Italy Farmers Market, where one of the sisters is always onsite, as well as through Sistry’s website, sistryfoods.com.

Steak Alert

The long-established Hunter’s Steakhouse in Mission Valley’s northwest Hotel Circle area is now The Remy Cocktails & Meat. Known in the more distant past as Hungry Hunter, the restaurant was taken over by Jonathan Frank, who partly owns the recreational sports bar, Home and Away in Old Town.

A thorough remodel did away with Hunter’s outdated motif and replaced it with fresh paint, new carpeting, and a large, stylish bar featuring back-lit shelves and high-back bar stools upholstered in white leather.

The cocktail menu covers all bases, ranging from the classics to “stirred and shaken” signature creations. An ambitious wine list complements a menu of American Wagyu beef chops, which includes tomahawks, bone-in ribeye, filet, and New York strip. There is also spicy lobster, scallops with pork belly, seafood platters, short ribs, pork chops, and vegetable paella.

The restaurant serves lunch and dinner Tuesday through Sunday, as well as happy hour (2:30 to 5 pm), Tuesday through Friday. 2445 Hotel Circle Place, 619-906-5570, theremysd.com.

Breakfast Buzz in Hillcrest

The gayborhood just made room for a new eatery cranking out lively morning fare, thanks to chef-restaurant consultant Guillermo Diaz and entrepreneur Alex Marin.

The duo recently opened Rosemary & Thyme within the double storefront property on University Avenue that formerly housed Exotic Bamboo Tea House, and then T-Deli after that. Marin owned both of those businesses and now leases a portion of the space to Diaz, who specializes in breakfast dishes after working for Broken Yolk, Breakfast Republic and other kitchens over the years.

Rosemary & Thyme features a quaint indoor space and a lush, tropical-style patio in the back. The menu focuses on assorted omelets, eggs Benedict, chorizo scrambles, breakfast burritos, and buttermilk pancakes. It also includes Marin’s black bean soup and sides of fresh, seasonal fruit that were signatures of T-Deli.

“His food is so delicious and he already has regulars since opening just two weeks ago,” Marin noted of Diaz’s cooking.

The restaurant is open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. 619-288-7713, 1469 University Ave.

New Burger Joints

Close your eyes, spin around three times and throw a spatula into the air. Chances are it will land on the doorstep on some new, local burger spot within urban San Diego.

Our little maneuver led us to two places that recently opened: Juicy Burgers in North Park and Bun & Patti in Little Italy. The former is an expanding chain based in Las Vegas that works with multiple charities such as Feeding America, Homes For Our Troops, the Alzheimer’s Association, and the White Rhino Foundation. The eatery’s one-third- and half-pound burgers are made to order in plain sight on a flat grill. They come with a wide choice of toppings and sauces. Also in the offing are wings, breaded pickle spears, fries, and commendable crispy onion rings. 2810 El Cajon Blvd., 855-879-5842, juicyburgers.net.

The gourmet factor is raised a few notches at Bun & Patti, which husband-wife team Elion and Amy Prodani opened with the intention of “changing how people view a burger place.” It’s where six-ounce patties flaunt a combination of aged beef and brisket – and where super-healthy salads help diminish your guilt. Their signature “Smoke Show” burger is served in a smoke-filled dome. It’s crowned with white cheddar, truffle aioli, bacon and veggies. Although if you prefer less drama, other choices include the all-American “Let’s Patti” cheeseburger on brioche; “The Model,” topped with avocado and grilled onions on a toasted gluten-free bun; and “The Hangry” using Impossible Meat. 2171 Kettner Blvd., 619-367-6284, www.bunandpatti.com.

–Frank Sabatini Jr. has been writing about food in San Diego for over 35 years. He launched his own food blog during the pandemic, called, “The Hash Star,” which you can follow at thehashstar.com. He can be reached at fsabatini@rr.san.com.▼

Sprinkle your sweets with Pride. (Courtesy Eclipse Chocolate)

Middle sister, Diane Zoura, of Sistry Foods (Courtesy photo)

A welcoming bar awaits at The Remy. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

Eggs Benedict at Rosemary & Thyme (Courtesy photo)

Editor’s Note: This page was originally supposed to be a preview of Broadway San Diego’s “Tina!” which is currently scheduled to come to San Diego next month. Unfortunately, with Tina’s passing last week, the ability to talk to the cast was put on hold. So I decided to reach out to members of the local LGBTQAI community about the famous star; the impact of her life, her passing, and any thoughts or feelings in between.

When I first heard the news of the passing of Tina Turner, I was so surprised and saddened. I’ve been a fan of hers pretty much all my life growing up. Never knew of her struggles until her story was told by her movie “What’s Love Got To Do With It” and that’s when I fell in love with her even more. She was a strong, powerful woman and I admired her for that.

First thing I thought about when I first heard of her passing was how lucky I was to go to one of her concerts, in Houston Texas. I still remember till this day, she was performing at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion and Outdoor Theatre. I remember sitting on the lawn with my boyfriend at the time, and Chris Isaac was her opening act. I remember this because Chris Isaac would come walking on the lawn to greet the fans who didn’t have front row seats, so he’d go walking and say hi and thank the people in the nosebleed section.

He shook my hand and thanked me for being there. It was a great moment; but fast forward, I remember going down to the restroom and I ran into a friend of mine, standing there looking lost and disappointed. I asked him if he was ok. Come to find out, he was stood up by his date! I invited him to come sit with us on the lawn and his reply was, “No, why don’t you guys come sit with me, I have extra seats on the third row.”

forever love Tina Turner! May she rest in paradise!

still have one to this day along with the memory of an experience and an incredible human that I will never forget. She really was “simply the best.”

Mario Garcia - activist, mental health care advocate

I have always appreciated and enjoyed Tina Turner’s music since “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.” Watching the film, I remember thinking, wow, such a powerful personality. After my friend Kurt [Cunningham] passed away, I gained an increased respect for Tina. Kurt had long professed his love (obsession maybe?) of Tina. I didn’t get it until hearing the “Love Within” song\chant from Tina Turner’s “Beyond” album. My world changed as I sobbed silently listening to that song at his memorial. I listened to all of Tina’s albums after that, engrossed in the music videos, her two books, and news articles.

When her documentary came out in 2021, I watched it twice in one night, sobbing like a baby both times. Appreciating that I was the last person to have a meal with and share a conversation with Kurt, I know that he welcomed Tina Turner into the beyond.

Two weeks ago Tina Turner’s song “We Don’t Need Another Hero” [from the movie, “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome”] came into my mind, just as many songs do every day in my brain. This time was different. I turned to my wife, Karen, and said, “It feels like Tina Turner is going to cross over soon.” [Her death] hit me deep in my heart. It’s like losing someone who’s always been here with me. Though we’ve never met, it’s like she was a part of my world as I know it. She represents a time in my life when music first began for me. She was always there. Tina Turner was for me a tower of strength, resilience, and love. A powerhouse of a performer. A fierce force of nature. I’m choosing not to think of her as gone but a light that is still with us, shining on. It’s all I know to do in times like this. I will be forever grateful for the example of all those things worthy of praise and a good rest. May she rest in heavenly peace.

I was so excited that I couldn’t believe it. I was about to see Tina Turner up close and personal. All I remember is after the concert, my neck was sore from looking up all night in amazement and I was able to see Tina’s panties under that famous silver short dress she used to dance around in hahaha. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be looking up a dress, but hey, when you get up that close to the stage, what do you think is gonna happen?

Anyways, that was the best concert I’ve ever been to! I lost my voice from screaming and singing all night long. I will never forget that night. I will

In 1984, I moved to San Diego sight unseen from Washington DC because a friend told me I would like the beach. I was 24, didn’t know a soul and didn’t have a job but I got a little apartment in PB as advised and started a new life alone. It was also the year Tina Turner’s Private Dancer album (yes, album) came out. I listened to it daily as her personal story and songs of strength, female power and fierce independence were a constant inspiration. And damn, she looked good. I still know all the words and know she is rocking it up in heaven!

activist

Sadness because she was such a force of nature and survived her horrible relationship with Ike and came out of it better and stronger. A real inspiration for all women. And she gave us so many great songs like “River Deep, Mountain High,” and of course “Proud Mary” and “Private Dancer.” Loved her signature style. My youngest son was in his school’s show choir and they used to do many of her songs and that was the first memory that came to mind; watching the show choir (Music Machine) perform “River Deep, Mountain High.”

Back when I lived in upstate NY, I would work backstage for a lot of the touring Broadway productions and concerts that would come through town. The most memorable was when I got the last minute call for Tina Turner. I was getting ready to go to a friend’s wedding and quickly made my apologies why I wasn’t coming. I mean, it was TINA!!! Long story short; she was an incredible person and I was so lucky to have spent a short time in her presence. She was very kind and sweet; especially to this 20-something gay boy who was trying his best to not lose it in her presence. She even had her wardrobe person cut the small leather bows off a pair of her signature, black pumps and give them to me. I

Sister Ida Know - Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

When a celebrity passes, I always think about how they impacted life for others and myself. It is sad to hear of Tina Turner’s passing. The instant reflection upon hearing it in the news was on the many images of Tina in the media, on stage and on the big screen. Her voice rings in my ears as I write this, “We don’t need another hero.” Her iconic voice sings to the soul and mentored so many with her style of music. Another person I would have loved to meet lives sweetly where she sang herself into; the hearts of the world. Be sure to find her music and love it.

See TINA page 14

Lisa Sanders - musician & wood craftsman

Robert Rodriguez - bartender & donut maker extraordinaire

Toni Robin - public relations professional

Chris Barone - bar manager, event planner

Patti Tienken-BowmanPFLAG

RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH A LOCAL TRIBUTE TO TINA TURNER

Visual artist and spoken word storyteller Maurice Cassidy has found inspiration in his fellow Irish countryman Francis Bacon. Bacon was a gay abstract artist who is today recognized as one of the most important painters of the 20th century.

Born in 1961 in Dublin, Ireland, Maurice Cassidy grew up in a country that was radically changing as it began to look outward from itself. At 19, he came out to his parents who took it surprisingly well, considering the times of the conservative Catholic country. He studied at Trinity College and hung out at the newly opened Hirschfeld Center, which included a community room and disco serving the LGBT community.

After school, Cassidy decided to travel the world. He made his way to New York City and got caught up in the big city’s lifestyle. He walked into Nishi, a restaurant frequented by Andy Warhol and Keith Haring on the Upper West Side and was hired on the spot.

“I was in awe of everything going on,” he said. “It was the time of the big clubs. In retrospect, I now realize that I was at the center of a time and an era where important things were taking place all around me. Things you now see in documentaries.”

As people began dying of HIV/AIDS, Cassidy answered a “call for action,” where an unusually affable Larry Kramer led a crowd to get personally engaged in social and political activism. This was the start of ACT UP, the grassroots political group working to end the AIDS pandemic. Cassidy found himself protesting on Wall Street and at City Hall. He was arrested at the vigil protesting the death of Matthew Shepard and was taken down to the Manhattan Detention Complex, nicknamed “The Tombs.”

ARTIST PROFILE MAURICE CASSIDY

by Patric Stillman

By 1983, he had opened the gay bar, The Hanger, in New York’s Greenwich Village, which is still open today. At the time, the bars were a congregating point for the community and through it, he organized buses to the marches in Washington, D.C. The early rallies were focused on treatment, research, and funding for AIDS, but pretty quickly became about Marriage Equality.

“Those marches stand out in my mind,” Cassidy said. “To be surrounded by so many LGBTQ+ people was energizing. In Dublin, I found my tribe, but in New York, I really saw the tribe in action. I recall hearing Judy Shepard (Matthew Shepard’s mother) speak and it was one of those pivotal moments in our shared history that stays with me to this day.”

New York became home. He focused on his business, sold real estate on the side and was in a long-term relationship. At one point, he was hospitalized and became addicted to opiates.

In 2016, he left the Big Apple for San Diego to enroll in Stepping Stone’s rehab program. It was this important decision that gave him pause to reflect on his life and where he wanted to take it going forward.

“Rehab is technology free so I had a lot of time on my hands,” he said. “I recall looking over the canyons and had the notion to begin painting what I saw. San Diego’s natural world was exotic to me. It was all new. I had never seen anything like it.”

He eventually moved into painting portraits, which has become his main focus for the past four years.

“My friend Jennifer was the first portrait I painted,” Cassidy said. “I was reading a biography of the figurative artist Lucian Freud and was impressed by his desire to paint the people in his life. I also wanted to document the people who came

into my life and changed me for the better. My work became an attempt at maintaining a record, a biography of sorts. The work explores the intimacy and gratitude I have toward my loved ones. It’s a way of honoring them.

“I met Secret in 2016 at Stepping Stone,” he continued. “She was a trans woman who worked as an attorney. We met before she transitioned and supported each other’s sobriety. We were the same age, so we quickly became inseparable at The Alano Club. Being sober, The Alano Club of San Diego became our community center. A place where we could attend 12-step meetings, birthday parties, holidays and memorial services.”

Three years ago, Secret took her own life. Cassidy found himself filled with difficult questions and raw emotions. He began to paint Secret so he wouldn’t displace his feelings in other ways. This led him to pick up a pen and begin writing. He wrote about the trauma that he was experiencing. He wrote about the things he learned about his friend that were never shared one-on-one. He tried to find some meaning in the loss.

“I didn’t realize how much she was struggling with things that I had taken for granted. Housing, employment and other things that I just sorted away were a constant burden for Secret. I didn’t realize how serious it was or that it could be fatal for a trans person to find safe housing or a place of employment.”

Through the creation of art and words, something happened for Cassidy. He felt a compelling need to share their story and in doing so, he found himself transformed as well.

“Initially, I thought I was just going to read this piece and people would understand what I was saying,” he said.

“It’s intensely personal to me in terms of being raw, vulnerable and expressing everything that was going on for me at the time. So the actual act led to the spoken word piece and it became a discovery of my voice. I’m up there and reading my story. The story I have always feared. It’s too sad, too tragic, too troubling. People don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear it. I want to run from it. I want to escape from it. Then all of sudden, I discovered that you can be present in your story, be fully in your body, and survive it. That was a big revelationthat it was possible to be a part of the process of experiencing it. A process of reclamation and renewal. I think that was the biggest revelation of all of it.”

As part of San Diego Pride at The Studio Door, when the sixth annual PROUD+ visual arts exhibition takes place, Maurice Cassidy will share “Searching for Secret: A Tale by Maurice Cassidy,” on July 1 at 7 pm in the gallery, for one night only.

The gallery will also have a collection of Cassidy’s artwork on display to showcase the unique sight and sound of the artist. The Studio Door is located at 3867 Fourth Avenue, in Hillcrest. For more information on these events, visit TheStudioDoor.com.

“I hope that people can see themselves in the story and connect to their own feelings of loss,” Cassidy said. Maurice Cassidy can be found online at mauricecassidy.com and on Instagram at @mauricecassidy.

–Patric Stillman is a fine artist and gallery owner of The Studio Door. If you are an artist in San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community and would like to be featured in an artist profile, please contact Patric for consideration at patric@thestudiodoor.com. ▼

(clockwise from left) Maurice Cassidy; Self Portrait (2020), Oil on Paper, 16x20; Jen, Oil on Paper, 16x20; Diptych, Floyd-Chauvin, Oil on Paper, 32x40; Secret, Oil on Paper, 16x20; Wayne, Oil on Paper, 16x20; Gemma, Oil on Paper, 16x20; Chelsea, Oil on Paper, 16x20. (All photos courtesy The Studio Door)

“I always think of myself not so much as a painter but as a medium for accident and chance.” –Artist Francis Bacon

TINA from page 12

Q PUZZLE

Her music became anthems for my youth and onstage she was a force of nature who epitomized everything a rock star should be. Tina Turner was also an example to us all of what it means to not just survive adversity, but to literally kick its ass. She showed us how to pick up the pieces, move forward and never look back. She was, to the core of her being, Simply The Best. Rest in peace, Tina. You’ve earned it.

I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY

ACROSS

1 Stuff stuffed under G-strings

5 Bannon’s Brinker

10 Jethrine Bodine portrayer Max

14 Affluent, to Lorca

15 Prop for “I have a headache …”

16 “Look ___, I’m Sandra Dee”

DOWN

1 Visits some gay bars

2 Show time

3 Tara heroine

4 Football’s Papa Bear

5 Three-men-in-a-tub event

6 “Nurse Jackie” portrayer

7 “If ___ I Would Leave You”

8 Thames timer

9 Superman’s pal Jimmy

10 Risk rust, for the Tin Man

11 Gore Vidal novel

12 Homophobic rapper, perhaps 13 Medical treatment 21 ‘50s idol Hunter 22 Went

I was always inspired by and touched by her story, as she recognized that her past need not determine her future. My late husband and I attended her concert more than 20 years ago. Truly, “simply the best”!

high point for them. Knowing what we know now about Ike, it could have been even more horrible. Tina’s story, as most women can attest, is all too common. The fact that she survived Ike’s abuse and went on to her own wonderful success, was perhaps the most inspiring part of her story. I saw her also, without Ike, at a big stadium gig here. She had so much energy, and did four encores!! She was amazing and we were lucky to have her.

Tina xoxoxox

RIP

RD Riccoboni - visual artist, therapist

I’m old enough to remember Tina Turner on black and white tv back in the 60s. On Hullabaloo and of course the Ed Sullivan show. As a little boy, I was completely mesmerized and a lifelong fan. Like true icons do, she instantly stood out, even to a little boy. When she embarked on her solo career I couldn’t get enough. What an amazing talent and role model, as she stood up for herself, reinvented herself and showed us her humanness, she became a hero to all of us mesmerized by her. That’s what legends do.

SOLUTION ON PAGE 15

I became majorly aware of Ike and Tina Turner in the late 60s, while I was in college. I saw them at an underage venue in La Mesa once (Cinnamon Cinder) and once at the Point Loma College gym, with the Ikettes. I thought it was the most soulful and sexy performance I had ever seen, up to that point. However, I did notice that Tina and the Ikettes did not look very happy. Having toured myself, I know that it can be a grueling experience. Our country is huge and sometimes, by the time you get to California, you’ve been on the road forever and are exhausted. To have somewhat of a little nothing gig, for a few of us Point Lomans, was probably not a

Garrison Bailey - musician

I grew up listening to Tina Turner. Her music and her moves are intertwined in my musical soul. She’s only been gone a few days but I feel her void. I have sadness and gratitude in spades. I did not know what to do to honor her memory [she figured it out, see below]. I know people die but I’m still so shocked when it happens. Tina’s passing hurt. I cried more than I expected I would. I used to be driving or daydreaming or whatever and I’d literally wonder about how Tina Turner was doing. Such a bright light of inspiration and immense talent. She definitely left a beauty mark on this world.

Editor’s Note: Garrison wrote a heartfelt song and created an amazing video to honor Tina. To watch/listen, visit youtu.be/HIWN4idAZhc.▼

Michael Magee - long time community resident

Jerry Troyer – minister, homeless youth advocate

Sue Palmer - musician

TRANS TALK from page 10

they have that option for you, but it’s not a dealbreaker on domestic flights. Abroad you can certainly have the X marker on your passport, which is also new this year.

In 2022 TSA changed procedures to make it friendlier and safer for Transgender folks going through security. They have changed the algorithm for the AIT full body scanners to now be gender neutral rather than gendered, although the process at this time might not be on all TSA scanners across the country. If the scanner picks up a “hot spot” and the alarm goes off, the hot spot could be where clothing is bunched together or perhaps a prosthetic, or some other anomaly the computer reads. The TSA agent should show you the hot spot on their screen so you know. You have the right to ask for a supervisor at any time during the screening process; you also have the right to ask for a screener to be the gender you feel more comfortable with. TSA agents should only use the backs of their hands for a pat down, and you are not required to lift up any clothing. You also have the right to ask for a private screening area.

Agents have the right to go through your bags at the checkpoint, but you are allowed to ask for it to be done in private, if you have any items that might be embarrassing for you in a public setting.

Which reminds me of a friend who was on her way to give a workshop on sex and all her toys were in her carry-on bag. She was not embarrassed but she told me the TSA officer sure turned red.

Also, be aware that if you are flying home after an international visit, you could be subject to a more scrutinized screening and pat down. So if you are traveling with wigs, packers, dilators, or other potentially embarrassing items, it would be best to put those in your checked luggage if you have one. All your medications, including syringes, should be

in their original bottles or boxes with your name and prescription information on them. It’s always a good idea to keep these with you at all times.

The big takeaway here for us is to not be too nervous about it, always tell the truth when asked a question, and try not to get emotional, as this tends to make the whole process worse and they might see your behavior as suspicious.You have the right to bring in a witness with you to a private screening room.

Again you have the right to ask for a supervisor at any time. If a TSA person is treating you disrespectfully or harassing/sexually assaulting you, be sure to get their name and note the day and time of the incident. You should always file a complaint against any TSA agent who acts unprofessionally and with malice against you.

It’s ok to say, I am transgender (or non-binary) and my body may be a little different than most men/women, or just identify yourself as Trans or Non-Binary, of course this should only be said if they require a more extensive pat down.

The best way to protect yourself and have an enjoyable trip is to arm yourself with knowledge! Know your rights and don’t be afraid to speak up. Visit any or all of the websites I’ve listed here and learn more about your rights. You can even print out your rights from the NCTE website and carry them with you.

I hope this will help all your vacations and trips go smoother!! Happy summer everyone. Meanwhile, I am traveling to Ireland as you read this, so I will let you all know how that goes.

–Connor Maddocks (he, him, his) is a Transgender activist, trainer, speaker, and advocate. You can reach him at neon411@gmail.com

In 2023, anti-trans bills continue to be introduced across the country. LGBTQ San Diego County News is tracking legislation that seeks to block trans people from receiving basic healthcare, education, legal recognition, and the right to publicly exist.

556 Bills - 49 states 80 passed 372 active 104 failed

For more information on the Anti-Trans Bill Tracker visit translegislation.com

Helpful Resources:

ACLU’s Mobile Justice App | bit.ly/3BWOOwF

HRC Press Release, March 13, 2023 | bit.ly/3BZ5lzZ

ACLU - Four Ways TSA is Making Flying Easier for Trans People | bit.ly/3BZ5lzZ

TSA Screening Procedures | bit.ly/3oJ1OCR

ACLU news article, April 5, 2022 | bit.ly/3oJ2d8l

National Center for Transgender Equality - Know Your Rights Airport Security | bit.ly/3oJ2hVD

US State Department - Before You Go, re: LGBTQ+ Travelers | bit.ly/3BXZT0i

Alexander Salazar Opens New Gallery in Mission Hills

Renowned art dealer/artist and art consultant Alexander Salazar and his new business partner, acclaimed interior designer Darcy Kempton have joined together to open a new art gallery concept in Mission Hills, which is the perfect marriage of fine art and interior design. Named SD Art Advisory, the sprawling, two story gallery space hosted its grand opening on May 20, with 50% of all art sales proceeds benefiting Future Legends, through Changegiving. Immediately following the grand opening, Salazar celebrated his 50th birthday in style with a white party at the gallery, which lasted until the wee hours of the morning. (Photo of Salazar and Kempton courtesy Olive Public Relations; Photos from the grand opening by Big Mike Phillips) ▼