Seacoast Scene 12-20-18 by Seacoast Scene

DEC. 20, 2018 - JAN. 9, 2019

Winter Wildlife A guide to the animals you can find on the coast this season

FRE E

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A WORD FROM LARRY

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*KENO*

Celebrate New Years Eve right here at Hampton Beach! The State of New Hampshire’s Division of Parks and Recreation will be holding a open house on New Year’s Eve, MonLarry Marsolais day, Dec. 31, from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Seashell Oceanfront Pavilion banquet room located behind the Seashell Stage. Refreshments are provided and the entire event if free to the public. Fireworks immediately follow at 8 p.m. on the beach! With the end of 2018 coming up, I want to say it has been an outstanding year for the Seacoast Scene. As 2019 approaches, the bi-monthly will continue through March 21, and starting April 11, the week-

ly issues will start up again. We have an amazing staff and I want to thank each and every one of them for their hard work and dedication to publishing the best product that they can. I also want to take this time, to thank all of our advertisers for their business and our amazing readers for a wonderful 2018! Get ready for another great year with the Seacoast Scene.

Feel free to call me anytime at 603-9355096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad. Happy holidays from all of us at the Seacoast Scene. Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

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DEC. 20, 2018 - JAN. 9, 2019 VOL 43 NO 37

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Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

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COVER STORY 6 Winter wildlife

MAPPED OUT 12 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 13 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 18 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 22 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 24 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast. Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1). Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT DECEMBER 20, 2018 – JANUARY 9, 2019, AND BEYOND Science camp

The Seacoast Science Center is offering environmental day camp for children ages 4 to grade 5 during the holiday break, Dec. 26-28. Treks 4 Tots (ages 4-5) and Seaside Safari (grades K-5) is offered from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., with a half day option (9 to noon) available for Treks only. After-care is available for grades K-5. Treks and Safari Camp is a fun-filled learning adventure that takes advantage of the natural classroom just outside our doors in historic, 135-acre Odiorne Point State Park. Visit seacoastsciencecenter.org.

Walk by candlelight

There’s one last chance for the Candlelight Stroll at Strawbery Banke Museum (14 Hancock St., Portsmouth), on Saturday, Dec. 22 from 5 to 9 p.m. Walk from house to historic house and meet with a variety of costumed role players and performers who recreate past traditions. Other features include family skating at Puddle Dock Pond, craft demonstrations, a treasure hunt for kids and more. Tickets are $25 for adults, $12.50 for kids and teens ages 5 and up, $60 per family (which covers two adults and two children ages 5 and up) and free for kids under 5 as well as active duty military service members, veterans and their families. Visit strawberybanke.org.

Forget Elf on the Shelf Fun with Scrooge There are still two chances to see A Christmas Carol. The Players’ Ring Theatre (105 Marcy St., Portsmouth) presents the show through Dec. 23. Showtimes are Thursday at 7 p.m., Friday at 8 p.m., Saturday at 3 and 8 p.m., and Sunday at 3 and 7 p.m. Tickets cost $18 for adults, $14 for students and seniors and $12 for children age 12 and under. Visit playersring.org. Or see it at the Rochester Opera House (31 Wakefield St., Rochester) through Dec. 23, with showtimes on Thursday and Friday at 7:30 p.m., Saturday at 2 and 7:30 p.m., and Sunday at 2 p.m. Tickets cost $12 to $24. Visit rochesteroperahouse.com. Photo courtesy of Rochester Opera House.

Gnome on the Ground, a new children’s book by Portsmouth author Jennifer Lake, offers families a different approach to the holidays. Born out of Lake’s disdain for the Elf on the Shelf culture, the book encourages parents to let go of the societal pressures to create a picture-perfect holiday for their children and instead teach their children to focus on what’s important. “Gnome promotes love, compassion and the power of choice all throughout the year,” Lake said in a press release. “[It’s] the perfect solution to help you celebrate your holiday however you choose.” The book is available on Amazon.

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Winter Wildlife by Andrew Clay With biting winds sweeping in off the Atlantic, only the toughest and most highly adapted of animals are able to call the Seacoast home during the winter months. Whether you’re out on a trail, walking along a snowy beach or spending the day birdwatching, there are plenty of opportunities to encounter the local wildlife at a safe distance. Here are some of the premier animals and their unique adaptations that allow them to spend time along the New Hampshire shorelines even through the coldest of winter seasons.

Air time

The skies of the New England Seacoast

might seem more barren once the rains begin turning to snow and the songbirds fly south for the winter. But according to Emily Calhoun, a naturalist and pre-k programmer with the Seacoast Science Center and avid bird and owl expert, winter is one of the most exciting times of year for aviary aficionados. “We get some really cool winter eruptive visitors like pine siskins, snow buntings and some other winter birds [that] are the exciting winter event for birders like myself. But ... the really exciting piece is the snowy owl,” she said. The New England coastline acts as a second home to those birds traveling south

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 6

from the tundra as a result of fleeting resources in the north. The most recognizable of these migratory birds is the iconic snowy owl. “Living on the Seacoast, everyone is talking about the snowy owls that come back every winter,” said Calhoun. “They just don’t look like any other owls that we have around here. They have that beautiful snowy white plumage that certainly adds to the excitement because it is such a uniquelooking owl.” Snowy owls travel on a cyclical migration pattern that rotates every few years, according to Calhoun. “Every four or so years we’ll get a huge

eruption of snowy owls. In those intermittent years we will see a couple but not quite as many. 2013 or 2014 was the last big eruption of them here when we had dozens of snowy owls lining the coast so we should be due for another good year,” she said. The snowy owls prefer the New England Coastline due to its close resemblance of the raptor’s natural habitat of the tundra. Flat yet rolling rocky outcroppings along the shoreline and abundant amounts of snow help the owls blend in while hunting for rodents, ducks and even other smaller owls that call the Seacoast home year-round. “Generally, what we found, especially in the Rye area near the Science Center, is 7

Snowy owl at Ordiorne State Park in Rye. Photo courtesy of Seacoast Science Center.

terns, we have started to see more hawks, raptors and other birds staying here yearround or longer into the winter season,” said Calhoun. As a result of a decline in prey options as smaller rodents enter hibernation and reduced activity, many of these birds take to the roadsides to hunt for smaller game throughout the winter months. “What we have learned is that a lot of people will toss apple cores or banana peels out their window as they drive,” said Calhoun. “That food will draw smaller prey animals to the roadside, so this time of year, when food is scarce, owls are coming to the roadside to hunt and can very easily be hit by cars.” Another thing to keep in mind during the winter months is use of poisons and other toxic materials. Mice and other rodents can live with rodenticides in their systems for up to 48 hours. “In that time period they could very easily be eaten by an owl or a hawk, so this time of year we see a lot of rodenticide poisonings and that can be incredibly harmful to an owl’s system,” said Calhoun. She urges the use of natural pest killers such as owls, hawks and cats as opposed to deadly and dangerous poisons and toxins. Carnivorous raptors are not the only birds that call the Seacoast home during the winter months. Cardinals and robins keep their roots grounded in New England soil yearround. Where cardinals might be the most apparent winter inhabitants, many people, according to Calhoun, are surprised to hear that robins are year-round New Englanders as well. “They are common in the spring; we see them in our backyards and then come wintertime they just push back and spend their time deeper in the woods with a little more cover,” she said. “They are still here but we may not see them as much.” 8

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6 that in the mornings they will be along the coastline searching for food but by the mid-morning and early afternoon they generally move a little more inland toward the marshy area,” said Calhoun. “You will see these guys sitting up on telephone poles near the marshy area just hanging out.” Though the snowy owl might be an exciting find, Calhoun urges eager birdwatchers to be mindful of the creature, urging the public to keep their distance despite the bird’s seeming to not mind your presence. “These owls have traveled thousands upon thousands of miles to come down here and a lot of them are exhausted. They came down because there was not enough food available in their natural habitat so it is important to be respectful of that process,” she said. “They might look like they’re not being bothered by you but it very well could be the case that they just traveled and they’re exhausted and they simply do not have the energy to get away from you.” They snowy owl is one of the more commonly seen owls as it is one of the few types of its species that are diurnal, meaning that they sleep at night and hunt during the day whereas most other owls are nocturnal. Many have already completed their winter migration, with sightings having already popped up around the Seacoast. New Hampshire is home to 11 species of owls, some of which are year-round inhabitants while others are eruptive or wintertime visitors. The majority stay year-round, which is possible as a result of their billowy down feather keeping them warm through the harsh winter, according to Calhoun. Even birds with less natural warmth are sticking around more. Raptors and hawks such as the red-tailed hawk also call the Seacoast home during the winter. “As our climate continues to change and we continue to see different warming trends, different temperature and warming pat-

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With the winter months comes the abundance of marine life that can only be found along the coast during this time of the year. Henry Burke, program director for the Seacoast Science Center, knows all too well of the harsh conditions that the Rye coastline can bring every winter. “We’re right on the water, so in the winter we get storm and with that comes waves and wind, which can certainly counter with the high tides with storm surges,” he said. “What is unique in the Seacoast, however, is that there is viewing opportunities for birds that you would not normally see in the summer.” Some of these aquatic birds that call the Atlantic shores home during the winter months include various diving ducks such as the bufflehead, the common goldeneye and the white winged scoter, all of which are in abundance along the shoreline during the winter. One of the most unique aquatic birds that travel to the coast from inland lakes during the winter months is the loon. Loons spend the majority of their time in the water, as their bodies are not truly designed to be able to effectively walk on land. Loons require open water and plenty of space in order to get into the air. “They need a large water body in order to take off because their feet are so far back on their bodies that they can’t simply just fly off the water — they need a bit of a running start,” said New Hampshire Fish and Game wildlife biologist Jessica Carloni. Loons are more at home in the water than in the air or on land, and require open water to dive and catch the fish swimming below, which is why they leave the frozen lakes to head out into the open water of the coastline in search of food every winter. Along with the influx of seasonal birds coming to the New Hampshire coastline above the water comes the migratory welcoming of marine mammals below 10

Marine mammals such as seals fall under strict federal regulations regarding human interaction. A general rule of thumb is to get no closer than 50 yards, or 150 feet, to a seal, especially a pup as it is likely to be abandoned if its parents see the pup interacting with humans. The Seacoast Science Center staff emphasizes the fact that seals crawl onto the beach to rest, so it’s not necessarily a problem if they’re found lounging there. However, there is currently a parvovirus spreading amongst the seal population, on top of their exhaustion as a result of their long migratory patterns, which emphasizes the importance of keeping a safe distance away from these marine mammals. “If you see something suspicious, do not approach the animal. Whenever you see a seal or a marine mammal that looks like it’s not quite right or you’re considering a situation to be a little abnormal, definitely give the Marine Mammal Rescue Team Hotline a call [at 603-997-9448],” said Calhoun. “Our staff are experts; they’re trained to handle a variety of different situations and what might seem like a bad situation might turn out to be normal, and vice versa.” Finding other marine mammals such as dolphins and whales on the beach also warrants a call to the Marine Mammal Rescue Team Hotline. “Never approach an animal that you think is injured because they are going to be very scared at that point and you never want to handle an animal. You never know what sort of disease it could have and that could be transmitted to humans,” said Carloni. “Never go and try to trap an animal or pick it up to bring to us; always call us first if you suspect anything is wrong with an animal. Binoculars are a good tool.”

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8 the water’s surface. With the winter season come the arctic seals from the north on a quest to follow their food sources. The most common seal that can be found on the New Hampshire shoreline is the harbor seal as it and the gray seal are the only of their kind of call New England home throughout the year. Harbor seals are much smaller than gray seals and give birth to their pups in the summer, whereas January through February is prime birthing season for the much larger gray seal, according to the Seacoast Science Center Website. The arctic seal migration can be seen in the winter months as the hooded seal and harp seal have already been sighted around the New England coastline, said Calhoun, and the hooded seal is notorious for being extremely territorial and aggressive. “You are a giant, scary predator and you are going to make them nervous. Keep your distance,” said Calhoun. “Never bring dogs or any pets near a stranded marine mammal, and give that hotline a call [see box on p. 10] as soon as you can.”

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Travel inland and you will find an abundance of wildlife, all of which incorporate unique adaptive qualities that allow them to survive with increasingly fleeting resources. Most animals have, for example, taken to the habit of caching food for emergency rations, according to Calhoun, as well as not letting anything go to waste. “There is a tendency to consider wild animals to be just like us, trying to have three square meals a day, but wild animals are far less likely to waste anything and are far more likely to conserve their own personal resources,” she said. “They are also not hunting every single day; they have to conserve their energy as much as possible. A lot of animals, owls included, will take to caching food or hiding it in little pockets so if they have a bad hunting day they can go back to their reserves in case of emergency.” Other animals around the Seacoast that are prominent food reservationists include chipmunks, bears, snakes and many oth-

ers. This unique winter preparation is an imperative adaptation that allows animals to survive even the harshest of the New England winters. New Hampshire is home to only three true winter hibernators: the groundhog or woodchuck, who sleep for months at a time, the little brown and big brown bats, and the jumping mouse. Bears, said Burke, are more commonly referred to as dormant winter sleepers because they do occasionally wake up during the winter to give birth and eat. Many animals have adapted to growing extremely large and padded feet that enable them to spread their toes out, which allows them to better travel across freshly fallen snow. “Animals like bobcat, racoon and the rabbits almost have snowshoes on their feet with those adaptations,” said Burke. Many animals will also grow a thick winter coat to keep them warm, as well as taking up the habit of relocating to thick evergreen cover during snowstorms. “Things like spruce, pine, hemlock. If we get a storm, that’s where they’re going,” said Burke. “The biggest problem for animals in the winter is finding food. They’re adapted to deal with the cold.” Some species of animals are forced to change their diets once the snow hits. “In the summer, fox are eating all sorts of vegetation like nuts and berries, but in the wintertime they are moving to small mammals like moles, mice, chipmunks as well as birds,” said Burke. With a lack of food and resources in the winter comes the inevitable difficulty of staying hydrated. Malnourishment and dehydration are two of the biggest challenges that animals work to avoid in the winter, and the strong Atlantic wind that comes off the coastline plays a major role in dehydration. “Wind can have a dehydrating effect on animals, and that goes along with not having proper access to water and food. Many animals get hydration out of the food they eat,” said Burke. With malnourishment comes diseases as these animal’s bodies are no longer 11

10 capable of fighting them off.

the tough New England winters. Bobcats, according to the New Hampshire Fish and Game website, are capable of surviving long stretches without food and have been known to take down game as large as a deer. The creature was nearly wiped out completely through heavy hunting until 1989, when New Hampshire Fish and Game disallowed the hunting and trapping of the prized wildcat, which has allowed the population to rise over the years. Today, sightings are close to common. The predators that humans are far more likely to see, however, are the red and gray foxes. “Often times, the red fox will not even use a winter den. It will just curl up in a ball in the snow and oftentimes you will see a fox totally covered in snow,” said Burke. He also notes that it may be difficult to tell the difference between the two species as there is such variety between their shades of colors. One trick Burke uses is to look at the legs, tail and face. The red fox, he says, has black stocking legs and a white tip of the tail with a more dog-like face. Grey foxes tend have a more cat-like face and black on the tip of the tail. Foxes are known to hunt mainly at night and typically prefer hunting smaller game such as moles, voles, rabbits and other smaller game. Many predators have similar diets to that of the owls and are likewise susceptible to various poisons consumed by their prey. “It’s a poison going into their bodies just like a poison would impact us, so if you can, avoid using rodenticides, pesticides, and instead use the natural rodenticides and pesticides that we have outside. Let them take care of your pest problems,” said Calhoun.

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“It makes them weaker. A number of the older animals will die and that is just how nature works, through natural selection.” Maintaining the predator-to-prey ratio is vital for the sustainability of the Seacoast ecosystem, and winter can be a very challenging time for predators. “Depending on how much snow there is, it can make it more difficult for fox and bobcats to get the small mammals that are in the ground,” said Burke. Still, there is not a lack of prey animals throughout the woods along the seacoast of New Hampshire. “There are plenty of mammals that stay active in the winter. We see white-tailed deer in the park, cottontail rabbits are very common in this part of the state, raccoons,” said Burke. These more prevalent plant-eaters are all looking to avoid Seacoast predators like the fox, fisher, occasional black bear and the elusive bobcat, which is beginning to make more of an appearance along the shoreline woods of New Hampshire. “It is entirely possible, although they are so elusive, to see bobcats as they are present in the Seacoast area.” Bobcats are often found in rocky areas or along rock walls that they use as cover and shelter, and act as the mascot for the University of New Hampshire as they are the most common wildcat in North America, according to New Hampshire Fish and Game. The iconic animal feeds mainly on the variety of rabbits found around the Seacoast, although they hunt smaller rodents, domestic cats, and whatever else they can get their paws on as they are perfectly adapted to withstand

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Animal awareness For animals that are injured or behaving uncharacteristically for their species, the public is asked to call New Hampshire Fish and Game at 603-271-3421 before taking any actions themselves and approaching the animal. “Overall, if an animal is behaving in a manner that is not normal for that species, if there is clear sign of injury, if they’re favoring a leg, if they’re limping or not using a leg then give us a call,” said Carloni. “If the animal is just hanging out in your yard, which is really abnormal, any sort of abnormal behavior, if it isn’t moving very well, if it’s been in the same area for 24 hours then that is certainly reason to give us a call.” The public is asked to keep a safe distance from all of these animals, especially mammals, as they can be carrying rabies. “We urge the public not to approach any of the mammals; many of them can carry rabies even if they don’t look sick,” said Burke. New Hampshire Fish and Game urges the public to avoid feeding any wildlife, as what might seem to be a good deed could very well result in injury or human reliance for the animal.

“It is never a good idea to feed wildlife in the winter because with deer, specifically, some people feed them corn-based things and deer can’t adapt to eating that all of a sudden, so they end up harming wildlife when they try and feed them,” said Carloni. “When animals know of a food source, they tend to go back, which can lead to disease spreading and the increased risk of being hit by a vehicle. It is never a good idea to feed wild animals.” Calhoun, meanwhile, encourages empathy and reminds everyone that humans are not the only ones feeling the effects of the cold. “This is an exciting time of year, but it is also a difficult time of year for everybody. I’ve spent the last couple of months prepping my yard and pulling out my winter coats, and animals do the same sort of preparation, just in a different way,” she said. “If you have mice living in your house, think about the fact that they might not have anywhere else to go. Make sure you’re not throwing trash out of your car windows; make sure you are aware of animals moving to the roadside to find food. They’re going through the same things that we’re going through and we all have to remember to help each other out this season.”

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 11

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What does your business do? We are a premier medThe most rewarding? ical spa, the first in the The most rewarding Seacoast region. These thing is seeing people have things are popular in New their confidence restored York, Florida and CaliforChristopher Bray. Courtesy photo. after the treatments. I nia, but people have not think we all have insecuheard of medical spas in the rities about our appearance. Whether it’s Seacoast area. a small facial scar or something like that, it is rewarding to see people come away Can you describe that a little more? Ours is a hybrid between a medical skin happy and filled with new confidence in care practice and a day spa. Rather than themselves. I also think the LENS treatfocusing on things like foot baths and ment is pretty awesome. I am a bit of an massages, etc., our purpose is to provide old hippie at heart, and I like to see people medical skin care and regenerative skin get the benefits from these kinds of noncare. invasive treatments. Any new or interesting treatments you can highlight? We also have what is called the LENS treatment. It’s an acronym for Low Energy Neuro-feedback System. LENS is a pain management technique. It also helps relieve anxiety, depression. It helps with things like ADHD and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In fact, I have seen people who had been taking medications for these issues become no longer able to take the medication. The LENS treatment alleviates the problems. As a matter of fact, we are extending the LENS treatments free of charge to local emergency responder personnel — EMTS, firemen and the like. Many of these people are veterans, and, as you know, they have seen combat. It is our way of helping the community and bringing awareness to what we do. That’s great. What is your background? How did you get into this line of work? I used to work in sales for a company that provided aesthetics treatments called Procell. This was micro-needling with stem cell therapies for skin care treatment. What is the most challenging part of your business? I think the most challenging part of

Any myths you would like to dispel about your industry? I think the fact that it is mainly for women and especially older women. There is no age range and these treatments are for anybody. When you’re not working, what do you do for fun? Any hobbies? My main thing is paddle boarding.

Local grain. American made.

Smokey Quartz is a Veteran Owned Distillery Visit us and tour our distillery in person & enjoy a complimentary sample of our Vodka, Whiskeys and Rum.

Are you from here originally? I grew up in Hampton. I am from the Seacoast. The reason I looked at the Seacoast for Complexions was because I really wanted to give back to my own community. I knew the Seacoast region did not have anything like this, and I wanted to bring these services to the area. Any big plans for you in the future? Changes in your business? The main goal right now is we want to expand the wellness component of what we do. We occupy 4,000 square feet of the building we are in and there is another 4,000 square feet available. We want to acquire that space and expand the wellness services. — Rob Levey

Available for purchase at our location, NH liquor stores, or your favorite bar or restaurant!

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 13

ADVENTURE

'Briens Andrew’s O Adventure General Store

By Andrew Clay Where I went: Gyrotonic Seacoast (225 Atlantic Ave in North Hampton, 603-828-8155, gyrotonicseacoast.com)

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What is is: Gyrotonic Seacoast is the only Gyrotonic facility in New Hampshire, and it offers a unique three-dimensional routine that is similar to that of tai chi, yoga and plyometric practices and is run by Kathryn Londoff. The Gyrotonic method (with machines) and Gyrokinesis method (without machines) were founded by Hungarian-born Juliu Horvath following a severe injury as a result of his years as a professional ballet dancer, according to the Gyrotonic Seacoast website. It was an attempt to develop a totalbody conditioning and balance system that promotes healthy spine, joint and bone development. The practice balances precise body movements with a particular fluidity to achieve its goals. What I did: I met Kathryn on the second floor of her facility in a room packed full of unusual-looking machines and devices with no real prior knowledge as to what exactly I was getting myself into. There, I also met Kate McDermott, a seasoned veteran and trainer in the Gyrotonic method who would be demonstrating the various exercises so I had something to base my movements on. I had seen the photos and watched some videos of Gyrotonic workouts in preparation for this adventure and figured that it would not be such an intense session without the

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 14

Kathryn Londoff demonstrates hanging core at Gyrotonic Seacoast. Photo by Andrew Clay.

use of heavy weights or quick repetitions, but boy was I wrong. Through this adventure I was asked to use muscles that I had never used before, and to move my body in such a precise, determined yet fluid and rhythmic way that following each set I found myself walking as if I had just stepped off a trampoline. I spoke with Kathryn about my prior history of athletics, injuries and workout routines as we briefly established a goal for the session. I wanted to set as much of a foundation to the workout style as possible within my two hours of alloted time and sample as many different exercises as we could. I found that I, similar to most of my generation, have what Kathryn referred to as cellphone posture, which means that I naturally curl my shoulders forward with my head and neck constantly angled slightly forward as if I were looking down at my phone. We spent the first 20 to 30 minutes trying to break that habit and form the solid base position and posture that the Gyrotonic system is based on: a tight core and straight back as if there were a line from the tailbone up and out of the top of the crest of the head. All of this was then paired with a method that asked me to focus on tensing muscles all the way up from my toes in counter-balanced ways, pushing in and out with my legs at the same time, pushing my chest forward while leaving my head back, and various other things of that nature. None of this came naturally to me, but after plenty of practice and loads of encouragement from Kathryn and Kate, my foundation was set. From there, we began exercises that focused almost exclusively on the fluid and

precise movements of our bodies with the help of the pulley tower that acted as a guide for the wide circular movements of my hands and arms. Every movement required my full attention at all times. The assumption while watching is that the Gyrotonic method is an easy workout because it is done without the use of weights or heavy resistance, but the secret that I came to learn is that the exercises are based on the resistances within your own body. The difficulty and physical exertion derive from your mind constantly focusing on the act of moving so precisely and working to actively counter-tense your muscles to allow them to stretch and strain within the body by and against themselves. At the end of my two hours with Kathryn, I had not lifted a single weight, and yet I was truly well worked and my muscles were thoroughly fatigued.

Who else would enjoy this: Gyrotonic and Gyrokinetic lessons are a unique method of exercise, and it takes a lot of commitment to be rewarded with the work that has been done. It is not for everyone, and if you are not willing to commit and put the work in then it is not worth your time. But through time and commitment, everything that is done in the workout can be applied to real-life circumstances. From enhancing posture to simply increasing efficiency in day-to-day activities, the results are beneficial to all sorts of lifestyles. Professional athletes use these methods as forms of crosstraining, and severely injured people use the exercises as a form of rehab. Older, younger, healthy or injured — there are no limits to who can partake in this form of exercise.

PEOPLE AND PLACES

WRITERS ON A NEW ENGLAND STAGE

Beachside celebrations

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Ring in the New Year along the coast

The end of December is a busy time around the Seacoast, and with so many different ways to ring in the new year it may be hard to decide which of the many local celebrations best suits your personal preferences. We have compiled information about all of the different New Year’s Eve celebrations, parties and events around the Seacoast this year to ensure that your 2018 goes out with a bang.

Hampton

The Hampton Beach Village District will hold its annual New Year’s Eve firework celebration off the beach Monday, Dec. 31, at 8 p.m. at the top of B and C Streets, with the Atlantic Ocean as the backdrop. Bring the family and plenty of warm clothes. Prior to the fireworks, the State of New Hampshire, Division of Parks and Recreation, holds a yearly Open House on New Year’s Eve from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Seashell Oceanfront Pavilion Banquet Room located behind the Seashell Stage. Refreshments are provided and the event is free to the public. Hampton’s Ashworth by the Sea (295 Ocean Blvd, Hampton) will ring in the new year with a special celebration for booked guests in their newly renovated grand ballroom. The night will begin with hors d’oeuvres followed by dinner for two prior to the viewing of the Hampton Beach Village District’s annual New Year’s Eve fireworks off the beach beginning at 8 p.m. The Ashworth New Year’s Eve celebration also includes a gala dinner dance and live entertainment from “The Wicked Smart Horn Band” between 9 p.m. and 1 a.m. A champagne breakfast buffet for two will be held the following morning on New Year’s Day. Visit ashworthhotel.com for more information or to book your reservation, as the festivities are for hotel guests only.

STEVEN PINKER Wed., 1/30 • 7pm Historic Theater

Salisbury

The Blue Ocean Music Hall (4 Ocean Front N.) in Salisbury will hold New Years Bash With The Fools. The celebration begins with an optional buffet dinner served in Gradview Hall at 7 p.m. before the concert kicks off at 9 p.m. The party continues through midnight on a large dance floor that will incorporate a midnight balloon drop and champagne toast. Two different types of tickets are being sold, one for dinner plus the show and one acting as show-exclusive at prices ranging $26 to $90. The Fools are a Massachusetts rock band originally from Ipswich and the self-proclaimed “best party band in New England”. For more information or to buy tickets visit blueoceanhall.com. Seaglass Restaurant (4 Ocean Front N.) will hold a special New Year’s Eve dinner function to welcome in the new year. For $79.95 per person, the night includes a four course dinner, dessert, dancing, and live musical entertainment from Boston’s “Airtight Trio.” Call 978-462-5800 or visit seaglassoceanside.com for information or to book your reservation. — Andrew Clay

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One for the kids Join the New Hampshire Children’s Museum (6 Washington St, Dover) for their annual, family friendly New Year’s Eve celebration from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Welcome in the new year without missing bedtime with “countdown to midnight” at 11 a.m., 12:30 and 2 p.m. when a disco ball and wish blimps drops and confetti flies in essence of the Time Square celebration. Make hats from recycled paper and stop in at the photo booth for this family friendly celebration for children and adults of all ages for the regular cost of admission of the museum. Visit childrens-museum.org for more information.

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 15

CAR TALK

‘Safe and ugly’ is the best choice for teen’s first car Dear Car Talk: My wife and I are at odds over what vehicle to get our 16-year-old daughter. I am currently driving a 10-year-old Mercedes-Benz E350 with 81,000 miles and By Ray Magliozzi am interested in moving up to possibly Tesla’s model S. I love the E350 and have maintained it faithfully, and think it would be a good, safe car for a teen girl. Yes, I know I spoil her terribly, but from a practical point of view, what’s wrong with this idea? My wife has made it VERY clear that under no circumstances will our daughter be getting a Mercedes. I think she is relating back to her own days in high school where she got a beater VW. Should I just sell it and buy our daughter something else, or let her drive my old ride? — Michael You’re right that it’s certainly a safe vehicle, and that’s the top priority for teen drivers. And the fact that you know the car, and have kept it well-maintained increases the chances she won’t get stranded in it. But I fear that everyone at her high school will hate her. Especially the teachers, who are all driving 16-year-old Hyundais. And your wife does have a good point about leaving her something to aspire

to in life. If she starts out driving a Mercedes, what incentive does she have to lie, cheat, steal and inside-trade later in life to get one? In my opinion, the best cars for teenagers are very safe, and very ugly. You want something that will protect her when she has her first accident (when, not if). But you also want to give her some reason to apply herself, and work for a better future. So it’s a tough call here, Michael. The car itself, the Mercedes, will certainly protect her. But do you want to burden her with being “the kid the who drives a Mercedes”? Here’s my solution: Give her the Mercedes, but first, take a sledgehammer and put at least one big dent on each side. Then drive it into the garage, making sure you scrape the passenger side against the garage door opening for at least 6 feet. Then put two “Ask Me About My Grandchildren” bumper stickers on the back. Then give her the keys. Dear Car Talk: When Ford introduced its new F-150 with aluminum body parts, I heard some complaints that some body shops might not be able to repair them, and those that did might charge more than if the truck were a normal steel body version. What’s the evidence so far? Anybody have any cost or other problems get-

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 16

ting their aluminum-body F-150’s dents and body damage repaired? — George Ford’s “Reynolds Wrap Edition” aluminum-heavy F-150 arrived in 2015 with a lot of promise. The use of aluminum body panels instead of steel made the new truck much lighter, which improved mileage, and promised “No rust. Ever.” But a big concern was the cost of repairs. If you have a little dent, pretty much any body shop can bang it out, fill it with Bondo and repaint it for you. But when you have to replace full panels, welding aluminum is a lot different than welding steel. To weld aluminum, body shops need to purchase expensive, new equipment, and get special training to use it. And based on Father Guido Sarducci’s “law of supply-a and-a demand-a,” you’d figure that fewer competing body shops would lead to higher prices, right? So here we are, a few years later, and how much have F-150 body repair costs gone up? Zero. We checked with IIHS (the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety), which, as you might guess, carefully tracks insurance payouts. The organization’s latest report on the F-150, from April 2017, found that the cost of body repairs, compared to the 2014 F-150, has stayed the same. How could this be, you ask? Well, a lot of it has to do with Ford. They were rightful-

ly concerned that stories about higher repair costs could lead people to avoid F-150s and buy Chevys instead. So they took a bunch of proactive steps to make sure repair costs didn’t go up. They offered discounted repair equipment to their dealerships, along with training. They lowered the price of the aluminum body parts, making many of them cheaper than comparable steel parts. And, they made the truck more modular. So if you bash the front-right corner of your new F-150 into a concrete pole in a parking garage, you might be able to replace just the affected section, rather than the whole front fender (which is how you’d fix the older, steel F-150). Since some of this cost control is dependent on Ford keeping the prices of their aluminum parts low, keep in mind that this story could change over time. Although Ford does have a huge and continuing interest in avoiding headlines like “F-150 costs more to repair than competitors.” The F-150 is Ford’s best-selling vehicle, and any meaningful drop in sales would be a disaster for them. So as long as there’s heavy competition to sell pickup trucks, and as long as the world’s supply of aluminum remains plentiful, there should be no major issues repairing F-150s. Visit Cartalk.com.

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FOOD

AT JASMINE’S FAMOUS ROAST BEEF For a decade, Jasmine’s Famous Roast Beef (178 Lafayette Road, Seabrook) has been serving up generous helpings of fried fish (their massive towering platter of fish and fries is aptly named The Sea Monster), pizza, roast beef and more. We caught up with owner Roy Robertson to chat about his restaurant background, the one dish he never gets sick of and some perks of the restaurant industry that you might not expect. How long has Jasmine’s Famous Roast Beef and Seafood been around? Jasmine’s Famous Roast Beef and Seafood has been around since 2008. My partners now, they are the original owners, and I came after the fact, about seven years ago. They got [the restaurant] up and running — one of my partners opened all the Pizza Factories. She was actually my first boss. They called me up [because] they needed somebody to run the store and offered me a percentage to come in and take over and see what I could do for building the business. The business has done very well, since before I got there, and [it has continued] to do well. What makes Jasmine’s Famous Roast Beef and Seafood unique? I think probably caring is a big thing, [caring about] quality — take your time and do it right. If you happen to make a mistake, just make it right. When a customer calls, if we had made a mistake, we make it right, because we care. We’re not only looking [for] you to buy a sub today, but I’d like you to buy a sub for

the next 20 years … and your children. [I’d like] to build the business that way, over time. Repeat customers is huge. We also do a lot of local donations — cheerleading, football, all that stuff. What is your personal favorite dish? The Chicken Broccoli Ziti Alfredo is probably my favorite. We make the alfredo sauce from scratch, and I just like it above and beyond. I think it’s really good and I’ve been making it for a long time. Being in the business for so long, you kind of get sick of the same old thing, but [the Chicken, Broccoli and Ziti Alfredo] is always a safe bet — I still enjoy eating it. What is a dish everyone should try? I think the rice bowls are really popular, they’re starting to be popular now. They’re a newer item on the menu, if anybody wanted to try a Chicken Teriyaki Rice Bowl, they could have it with their options of veggies — they could have peppers and onions, mushrooms, broccoli … or they could have it with just chicken, rice and teriyaki sauce.

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 18

Jasmine’s Roast Beef in Seabrook. Courtesy photo.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant? Patience. And I think being humble — remembering where you come from is important. [Starting] at such a young age and growing up in the business, it really helped me to stay humble and not forget where I come from. I brought one of my employees to get his license, and I helped him out with paying his driver’s ed. I lent [money] to him and he paid me back a little bit at a time, and he still works for me. My partner now, when I worked for him when I was younger, I went back to school and he bought all my school clothes for me. I paid him back, but I asked him to help me and he said, “Go to the mall and get whatever you want. I’ll put it on my credit card and then you can pay me back a little at a time.” I never forgot that.

What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast? I’ve been here my whole life, so it’s what I know, really. My favorite thing — I always take a ride up the coast when I’m on my motorcycle in the summertime. That’s pretty much my thing. — Alison Downs

Give props to your favorite restaurant! If you love a local eatery and want to see it featured on this page, send your suggestion to editor@ seacoastscene.net. Seacoast Eats highlights restaurants, bakeries, coffee shops and anywhere else you can get great food in Hampton, Rye, Seabrook and Salisbury.

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I’m hosting for the holidays for the first time this year, and I’ve been searching for new recipes to impress my dinner guests with. I have an eclectic group of eaters who will be staying at my house for almost a week; I’m meal planning for every day, so that I can enjoy my company more than my kitchen. One of the recipes that came up in my search for new things to try was cornbread stuffing with sausage and collard greens. The recipe was a multi-step process that included making your own cornbread a few days before, and then letting it dry out before toasting it in the oven to make cornbread croutons. Fortunately, I had made cornbread just days before I found this recipe, so it was a perfect use of the leftovers. To make this pantry-friendly, you could always buy prepared cornbread or make a double batch of the semi-homemade kind from the package. Cooks beware — this recipe makes a lot of stuffing. My 9x13 casserole dish was overflowing, and I even lost a spoonful or two along the way. But while this stuffing was certainly a labor of love, it was well worth it. The combination of the sausage and collard greens brought nuanced layers to the cornbread, and

it was a welcome departure from the more traditional, and boring, stuffing I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. While the stuffing contained traditional elements, like onion and celery, it also featured herbs like rosemary and spices like red chili pepper flakes that helped boost the flavor and make the stuffing something of an unexpected side dish. You’ll want to make sure your cornbread is thoroughly dried out before tossing it in to the collard green and sausage mixture, however, as the cornbread is going to absorb all of the excess liquid, and if it’s not dry enough (or if you stir it too much) it will turn to crumbs instead of hearty chunks of sumptuous and well-flavored stuffing. If you’re short on time, you’ll want to make this stuffing the day ahead of your dinner. You can assemble it, without baking, to prep, and then toss it into the oven for 45 to 50 minutes before you’re ready to eat. It’s a delicious dish that is hearty enough to put all other sides to shame. — Lauren Mifsud

Cornbread stuffing with sausage and collard greens Recipe courtesy of Bon Appetit

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Cornbread stuffing

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Buttermilk Cornbread 9 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided, plus more for pan 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1½ pounds hot or sweet Italian sausage, casings removed 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 celery stalks, finely chopped 6 garlic cloves, thinly sliced 2 tablespoons finely chopped rosemary 1 tablespoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 2 bunches collard greens, stems and ribs removed, leaves torn or cut into 2” pieces 1½ cups heavy cream 2½ cups low-sodium chicken broth, divided 3 large eggs, beaten to blend To dry the cornbread, preheat oven to 300 degrees. Cut cornbread into 1-inch cubes and divide between two large rimmed backing sheets. Toast, turning halfway through, until crispy and golden brown, about 45 to 55 minutes. Increase oven temperature to 350 degrees. Lightly butter a 13x9-inch baking dish. Heat oil in a large heavy pot over medium-high. Arrange sausage in a single layer in pot and cook, undisturbed, until browned underneath, about 4

minutes. Break up into bite-size pieces and continue to cook, tossing occasionally, until just cooked through, about 3 minutes longer. Transfer sausage to a large bowl. Reduce heat to medium-low and add 8 tablespoons butter to same pot; swirl to melt and to coat bottom of pot. Add onion, celery, garlic, rosemary, salt, and red pepper flakes. Cook, stirring often, until vegetables are softened but not yet browned, about 5 minutes. Add collard greens and cook, tossing occasionally, until wilted, about 2 minutes. Add cream and 1 cup broth, and bring mixture to a simmer. Cover pot and cook until greens are softened, 7 to 9 minutes. Add vegetable mixture to bowl with sausage; mix in remaining 1½ cups broth, then eggs. Add cornbread and carefully toss once (don’t break up pieces). Let sit 5 minutes, then gently toss again. Let sit until almost all the liquid has been absorbed, about 5 minutes more. Transfer stuffing, still being gentle with it, to prepared baking dish. Dot surface with pieces of remaining 1 tablespoon butter and cover with foil. Bake stuffing until hot in the center, about 20 to 25 minutes. Remove foil and continue to bake until surface is deep golden brown and there are some crispy bits of sausage and greens on top, 25 to 30 additional minutes.

DRINK

Beyond a bottle Gift ideas for wine-lovers

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full-sized version). Any wine lover with some bottles of wine, glasses and other accessories would appreciate a nice wine cabinet where he or she can store and display everything. Wine racks are another option and range from decorative to plainer, yet functional. If you know the space where the person would be storing wine, you can find something that works within their space. And let’s be honest — just because he or she may have one wine rack in the house doesn’t mean that he or she can’t use another one. I have multiples in my house because I have the wine I am going to drink at some point soon and wine I want to keep for later. Even with all of these wine gifts out there, the wine lovers in your life will still appreciate a bottle of wine, especially if you take the time to pick it out for them based on their tastes. Vinoshipper is one option, as you can order wines from around the country. Did you visit a winery in New York during a special occasion? You may be able to get a bottle mailed to you. Etched wine bottles are another option and a way to personalize a bottle of wine. There are several companies that offer this service. Wine clubs are gifts that last more than just one month, and are available at local wineries and through the mail. I just joined one and I really enjoyed my first shipment. Some have no commitments, while others require two shipments at a minimum. If you have a wine lover in your life, and his or her favorite winery has a wine club, this could be a really special gift. — Stefanie Phillips

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It’s the holiday gift giving season, and for many of us that is very exciting. For others, it can feel overwhelming and like we have to find the perfect present. If you have some wine lovers on your list, here are some suggestions other than the typical bottle of wine. Wine glasses are nice, even though a lot of wine enthusiasts tend to have a good amount of glasses in their collection. But maybe they would appreciate a really nice set that they can use for formal gatherings. Or, maybe they would like a set of stemless glasses; these come in a variety of options, from plastic for outdoor dining, stemless for red, stemless for white, and even insulated stemless tumblers that are great for occasions like the beach. A decanter is another option for the more serious red wine drinker, and they come in a variety of styles and prices. You could pair one of these with a nice set of glasses as a nice gift. Personalized glasses are a fun option, too. Many local wineries, craft stores and Etsy shops sell wine glasses with personalized phrases, names, etc. and this is one way you could make a gift special without spending a lot of money. Speaking of wineries, many here in New Hampshire offer fun and unique wine gifts in their tasting rooms. If you’re making a stop during the holiday season, see what they have. Often times, you will also be supporting not only a local winery, but a local artisan as well. In addition to decanters and glasses, there are so many wine accessory options, large and small, that can be paired with a bottle of wine. They range from wine glass charms (lots of options here), to wine chillers, wine openers, coasters, pourers, and more. The options are really endless and can enhance the wine drinking experience. One of my favorite accessories is my automatic wine opener. I mention it every year because it makes opening wine such a breeze compared with the standard, manual wine openers. There are several brands that offer these, and they can be purchased at a variety of stores or online. Another nice gift I received this year is a cheese tray with a built in cutter made by a local artisan. The person who gave it to us knows that my husband and I enjoy wine, and this goes perfectly with a bottle and some snacks. So while it isn’t directly a wine gift, it showed thoughtfulness. If you are looking to spend a little bit more money on someone like a significant other or family member, wine furniture makes a nice gift. A white wine drinker would appreciate a wine fridge that keeps wine at precisely the right temperature (and there are many sizes of these available from a few bottles to a

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 21

POP CULTURE

Heirs of the Founders, by H.W. Brands (Doubleday, 376 pages)

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 22

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The Founding Fathers of the United States have been celebrated as much as Christmas, but the men who succeeded them, not so much unless they became president. But in their day, Henry Clay, John Calhoun and New Hampshire’s Daniel Webster were as famous as Washington, Jefferson and Adams. Admiringly dubbed “the immortal trio” and “the Great Triumvirate,” the men were alternately colleagues and rivals, and although each failed in multiple quests to become president, they were 19th-century power brokers whose influence lingers today. Their story is newly told by historian H.W. Brands, a Pulitzer finalist who teaches at the University of Texas at Austin, in Heirs of the Founders, the Epic Rivalry of Henry Clay, John Calhoun, and Daniel Webster, the Second Generation of American Giants. It’s a great holiday gift for anyone who has ever forlornly mused, “Man, I miss AP history.” For anyone who’s not a history geek, it would likely be a tortuous read, epic rivalry or not. Brands knows his stuff and doesn’t aim to stultify; this is a man who is currently writing the history of the U.S. in haiku on Twitter (@hwbrands). But in Heirs, Brand is writing of men for whom normal discourse was quite different from what it is today, a generation for whom it was not unusual to describe another person like this: “Time had not thinned nor bleached his hair; it was as dark as the raven’s plumage, surmounting his massive brow in ample folds.” To be fair, that’s a description of Webster by contemporary Charles Marsh, not by Brands, whose narrative is not so well plumed. But he writes of history with the sort of eye-glazing detail you would get if the NFL’s play-by-play announcers were paid by the word. For the general public, there are more than a few “Bueller? Bueller?” moments here. Lin-Manuel Miranda would have done a better job with the material. That said, there are far worse uses of a couple of hours than to refresh your knowledge of early American history in the company of Clay, Calhoun and especially Webster, who, it should be noted, is not the same man celebrated in the short story and film “The Devil and Daniel Webster” although his skills at oration were just as legendary. Sent to Phillips Academy in Exeter at age 14 (the year was 1796), young Webster was overwhelmed and felt diminished in the presence of 90 other boys who seemed much more worldly and accomplished. Worse, he

was a terrible speaker, memorizing his assignments but crumbling when it was time to declaim. Once, he wrote of going home to weep “bitter tears of mortification” after a particularly embarrassing performance. That boy went on to Dartmouth and produced more addresses of which he said, “I trust they are forgotten. They were in very bad taste,” all the while grappling with a humbling and persistent poverty. But he became one of the most celebrated orators of Congress, and one speech on tariffs, known as “Reply to Hayne,” is considered by some to be the most eloquent speech given in the U.S. Senate. The evolution of Webster is told masterfully in Heirs, as is the story of that famous speech. At its conclusion, Brands writes, the room was hushed. “Not a word was uttered; hardly a soul stirred. John Calhoun, in the chair, became disconcerted by the silence and the approbation it implied. He swung the gavel and demanded ‘Order,’ though no more orderly place existed within fifty miles. Nearly all present, even those disagreeing with Webster, were mesmerized.” Of the trio, Brands seems to favor Webster and disdain Calhoun, the South Carolinian who defended slavery (yet amazingly still has a building named for him in Columbia, S.C.) But Heirs is about not just the three men’s history but the history of their age, as Brands shows how the second generation of leaders of the young democracy struggled with a newly minted constitution that was vague about what power belonged to the states and what belonged to the federal government. War, Brands writes, “is an exercise of government power beyond almost any other, and the power exercised is that of the central government, not the states.” Even the most passionate advocates of states’ rights, for example, would be hard-pressed to justify half the states waging war against another nation while the other half watched passively. Such a rift did occur internally, of course, despite the triumvirate’s desperate efforts to avert it. And Webster, the silver-tongued Yankee, lived to perform one of the most astonishing pivots in congressional history, saying in the Senate chamber, “It is my judgment that the South is right. And the North is wrong,” an offense for which angry New Englanders gathered to protest in Faneuil Hall. If there is a moral to the story, it is that politicians of old were better-spoken, better-read and largely more educated than politicians today, even though they did engage in the occasional ill-advised duel. They were also no less colorful than the ones populating Washington today. B+ — Jennifer Graham

POP CULTURE

The Fifth Wheel

Battle for Earth

NH author lightens political mood President Donald Trump’s proposed Space Force becomes a reality in Seacoast author Jeremy Robinson’s science fiction adventure comedy novel Space Force, released in late October. “For the past year, I’ve had [health issues], and there’s been a lot of political strife in our country, and it’s just been a very serious year, so I thought, ‘I have to write something funny,’” Robinson said. “When Trump mentioned the Space Force for the first time, I thought it was funny, and I decided to run with it.” The novel takes place five years in the future. With a new president in office, Space Force is declared a failed program and is defunded, but before the team has a chance to move off base, a grotesque army of aliens attack, launching Space Force into a battle on Earth and in space for the fate of the planet. The story is told in first person from the perspectives of Captain Ethan Stone, who leads the battle on Earth, and First Lieutenant Jennifer Hale, who leads an international strike team into space. Robinson also includes himself as a character: the author hired to write the book of Stone’s and Hale’s accounts of the events. The book was partially inspired by battle royale-style video games in which a large number of players try to survive and outlast their opponents to become the last man standing. “In this case, it’s humans versus aliens, and the last ones alive will take Earth,” Robinson said. The humor in the book is sarcastic, satirical and over the top, similar to that of Deadpool, Robinson said. “An alien exploding doesn’t sound that funny, but when you spend a whole para-

graph describing it in all these colorful ways, it becomes funny,” he said. “It’s funny because it’s so stupid and ridiculous.” Space Force is not a political book, Robinson said, but rather, “brings a little humor to the political subject without being divisive.” “People on both sides [of the political spectrum] will think it’s hysterical,” he said. “I just want everyone to have a laugh and to have a little fun and not take everything so seriously when it comes to politics.” The book is currently available on Amazon and Kindle. An international bestselling author, Robinson, also known by the pen names Jeremy Bishop and Jeremiah Knight, has written and published more than 60 books in a number of genres, including science fiction, action adventure, fantasy, post-apocalyptic, thriller and horror. He has also created several comic books. His latest book, an action adventure thriller called Alter, came out Dec. 4. Not at all humorous like Space Force, Alter follows Massachusetts doctor Gregory Zesker, whose visit to the Amazon to provide medical aid to recently contacted tribes goes awry when the plane taking him back to civilization crashes in uncharted territory, killing the pilots and leaving him alone in the jungle. While struggling against the elements to stay alive, the doctor also faces an even greater danger: an uncontacted tribe. Space Force is available now on Amazon and Kindle, as is his latest, Alter, which was released on Dec. 4. Visit bewareofmonsters. com or follow the author on social media at facebook.com/JeremyRobinsonAuthor and twitter.com/JRobinsonAuthor. — Angie Sykeny

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 23

NITE

Laugh in the New Year

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Six comics help Portsmouth welcome 2019

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When comedian Steve Scarfo booked his first New Year’s Eve event in Portsmouth, he was doing what he’d always done. He’d gotten into standup in the mid-’90s, and was promoting within a few years. “When you start out, you’re really just chasing spots, chasing time,” Scarfo said recently. “So we said, ‘Why wait around? Let’s do our own shows.’” So that first First Night, it was Scarfo and few pals; but from those humble beginnings a tradition was born. 2018 marks the 10th anniversary of the Live Free or Die Laughing event, and the stars have aligned to make it memorable. Five comics, led by Jimmy Dunn, will ring out the year with jokes and smiles. Getting Dunn, who lives in nearby Hampton Beach, is a big deal. A veteran of the Boston comedy scene, he’s known for his role on the CBS sitcom The McCarthys, Red Sox commercials and Comedy Central specials. “I can’t say enough good things about him,” Scarfo said. “It makes it a little more special for the 10th anniversary, having someone who’s a local celebrity.” Also performing is feature comic Abhishek Shah, who appeared on NPR’s storytelling series The Moth and is a regular at Laugh Boston and Giggles. Also featuring is Mike Whitman, a 10-year comedy veteran who’s been on Fox’s Laughs and headlined The Stone Church in Newmarket last month. Ryan Gartley, who was goaded into comedy by his friends on a Portsmouth booze cruise in 1999, and newcomer Mark Moccia round out the lineup. There are two shows scheduled, but the early one sold out in early December. Tickets are still available for the late show at 10:30 p.m.; $38 admission includes a Champagne toast at midnight and party favors. As in each past year, Scarfo will host. Scarfo got into standup after going to grad school in Virginia. “A friend of mine said he was going to try it,” he said. “Up to that point I didn’t even know it was something you could do. I always loved comedy; I grew up listening to Bill Cosby. I don’t know if that’s in vogue to say, but his bits were the first thing I memorized. Then came Steven Wright and Robin Williams in high school.” For his first time out, Scarfo worked up a

Jimmy Dunn. Courtesy photo.

tight five minutes. He went to the Comedy Vault in Boston “I brought 30 of my friends to see me, which is kind of crazy in itself,” he said. And he killed it. Added to this first-time fortune was a Boston Globe writer in the audience who was doing a story on new comics. He ended up featuring Scarfo as one of the night’s funniest. “It was pretty cool but it was also, as the old cliché goes, a blessing and a curse,” he said. “Looking back, I can’t believe I had such a good set on my first time out, but it was also what hooked me. The adrenaline rush of coming on stage and people actually laughing and enjoying it, it’s like the best drug on the planet that you don’t have to pay for.” Unlike a lot of other comics, the married father of two performs close to home. “I looked around at the guys who were doing comedy, and the full-time comics were doing all road work,” he said. “Being in a hotel room, on the road and away from your family wasn’t the life I wanted to have.” He opened a club in Kittery, Maine, that lasted a couple of years. “When that ended up not working out, there was a moment in time where I almost moved to California, but I chose not to do that, or do road trips” he said. “I never even pursued working on cruise ships, though I think it would be a lot of fun. ... I definitely respect the guys that do it, because not only are they pursuing their dream, there’s personal sacrifice too.” — Michael Witthaus

Live Free or Die Laughing 10th Annual New Year’s Eve Comedy Show FIND US AT THE ENTRANCE/ EXIT O THE INDUSTRIAL PARK! EXIT 9 OFF RTE. 101. EAST TOWARDS TOWN ON RTE. 27. 1.5 MILE ON RIGHT

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 24

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OPEN DAILY MON-SAT 10-5 • SUN 11-4

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When: Monday, Dec. 31, 10:30 p.m. (8:30 p.m. show is sold out) Where: Sheraton Portsmouth Harborside Hotel, 250 Market St., Portsmouth

Tickets: $38 at LiveFreeOrDieLaughing.com Starring Jimmy Dunn, Steve Scarfo, Abhishek Shah, Mike Whitman, Ryan Gartley and Mark Moccia

BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Ask Me How I’m Doing” — the circles will tell you Across 1 Advanced degrees 5 Thesaurus innovator Peter Mark ___ 10 Hit all the buttons at once, in arcade games

14 Temptation 15 Saint Teresa’s home 16 “The Joy of Cooking” co-author Rombauer 17 Regular “QI” panelist Davies 18 Back-country

19 Phone feature, once 20 Side-to-side movement 21 Judge on two versions of “The X Factor” 23 Any miniature golf shot 25 ___ seat (air passenger’s request) 26 Went on sabbatical, perhaps 32 One who keeps their buns moving? 33 Hunk of dirt 34 Cheese with a red rind 38 Preferred pronoun, perhaps 39 Bullwinkle, for one 40 Hoppy drink 41 “99 and 44/100% ___” (old slogan) 43 1980 “Dukes of Hazzard” spin-off 44 Big name in kitchen wrap 46 Newton’s first, alternately 49 Pine tree substance

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52 Listed thing 53 Historical peak 58 Have debts to pay 61 Shipmate of Picard, Riker, Worf, et al. 62 Notre Dame’s Fighting ___ 63 Diamonds, for one 64 “It slipped!” 65 Animal whose droppings are used for kopi luwak coffee 66 “___ Wonderful Life” 67 Russian refusal 68 Reflex test sites 69 “The Giving Tree” author Silverstein Down 1 Tony candidate 2 Island dance 3 Texas hold ‘em, e.g. 4 JFK, once 5 Once-in-a-blue-moon event 6 Egg, to biologists 7 ___ d’Italia (cycling event) 8 Brio 9 Absorbent powder 10 Delivery assistant 11 First sign of the zodiac 12 Fries size 13 Berry scheduled to be in “John Wick 3” 21 Headliner

22 Bumbler 24 “Aloha Oe” instrument, for short 26 Shortening used in recipes? 27 Island of Hawaii 28 ___ Lodge (motel chain) 29 Cool and distant 30 “Arrested Development” actress Portia de ___ 31 It takes dedication to write 35 Only Ivy League school called a college (not a university) 36 Jai ___ (fast-paced game) 37 “American Pie” actress Suvari 39 Kitten’s sound 42 Supporter of the 1%, say 44 “Family Guy” creator MacFarlane 45 “Scooby-Doo, Where ___ You?” 47 “32 Flavors” singer DiFranco 48 Work shift for some 49 Sell out, in a way 50 George Jetson’s son 51 Ski area 54 Head Stone? 55 “___ Brockovich” (Julia Roberts film) 56 Apiary feature 57 “Oh, OK” 59 Informed 60 “And others,” briefly 63 “Pretty sneaky, ___” (Connect Four ad line) ©2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 26

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES By Holly, The Seacoast Area's Leading Astrologer

• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You should get out more in the new year. And while you’re at it, come back less. • Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You will feel burning passion for excellence in 2019. Either that, or you’ll have an infection. • Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): 2019 will bring you many new horizons. Unfortunately, they’ll all be much further away than the old ones. • Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2019, it’s time to put the past behind you. After all, why dwell on a time when things were so much better?

• Aries (March 21-April 19): Your friends have planned something magical for you in 2019! Specifically, it’s for you to disappear.

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will benefit from forward thinking in 2019. Unfortunately, it will be cancelled out by your backward personality.

• Taurus (April 20-May 20): In 2019 you will get a new lease on life! Unfortunately, your landlord will be Satan.

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): As 2019 progresses, you will find things increasingly vague. Or maybe you won’t.

• Gemini (May 21-June 20): You will redefine the word “success” in 2019. However, it will still mean the same old failure.

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The new year will bring you exciting new friends! It’ll have to, since all the old ones won’t have anything to do with you.

• Cancer (June 21-July 22): Your coworkers will get behind you in the coming year. That way, it’s easier for them to kick you.

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• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Whatever else you do, don’t give up in 2019. While it’s on my mind, don’t give blood, either.

SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week's paper.

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 27

BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

FREE AS A PUZZLE Across

1. Singer Brad of Boston 5. ‘Hand __ __’ Rolling Stones (2,4) 11. ‘Connected’ Stereo __ 14. Locale band is from 15. Rod Stewart ‘___ To Believe’ 16. ‘Roll Over Beethoven’ band

17. ‘Hello Time Bomb’ __ __ Band (7,4) 19. John of X 20. Stones keyman Ian (abbr) 21. Alien __ Farm 22. ‘Peaches’ rockers (abbr) 23. ‘84 Siouxsie & The Banshees single (8,6)

27. Rick Springfield ‘The Power Of Love (The __ Of Love)’ 28. Barrett of Pink Floyd 29. Alicia Keys might put discrete daily entries in hers 30. ‘Eli & The Thirteenth Confession’ Laura 32. Kiss ‘Love ‘Em And __ __’ (5,2) 36. John Hiatt ‘The __ Bar Is Open’ 37. Jerry Garcia’s canvas holder 38. Faith No More smash 42. Stephan of Dave Matthews Band 44. ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ Boomtown __ 45. Amy Winehouse didn’t want to go there 48. ‘Take Good Care Of My Baby’ crooner Bobby 50. Elliot of Beau Brummels 51. U2 ‘___ The Real Thing’ (4,6,4) 56. Free carries a ‘Heavy’ one 57. Boyz II Men ‘Uhh __’ 58. Doyle of namesake grunge band

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59. Beatles ‘__ Follow The Sun’ 60. ‘95 Beatles reworked hit (4,2,1,4) 65. ‘Eve-Olution’ rapper 66. Finch album/hit ‘What __ Burn’ (2,2,2) 67. Jason Mraz ‘The World As __ __ It’ (1,3) 68. Madness ‘Drip __ Fred’ 69. Some star deaths come in these 70. INXS ‘Never __ Us Apart’

Down

1. Security gate for flood of fans? 2. The time of psychedelic rock music, e.g 3. Canned Heat ‘__ __ Together’ (4,4) 4. Singer Scialfa, or Mrs Springsteen 5. Everclear’s western homeland (abbr) 6. Shawn Colvin ‘A __ Small Repairs’ 7. ‘IGY (What A Beautiful World)’ Donald 8. Jim Croce ‘I’ll Have To Say I Love You In __ __’ (1,4) 9. Foreigner ‘__ And Nail’ 10. “And in the __ the love you take is equal to the love you make” 11. ‘95 Annie Lennox covers album that turned you to stone? 12. Seals & Crofts softrock classic ‘Get __’ 13. Buddy Holly ‘It’s __ __’ (2,4) 18. What fan does to song on radio 22. ‘Introduction To Mayhem’ nu metalers __ 55 23. Creed ‘Human Clay’ song (3,1) 24. Goodwyn of April Wine 25. ‘12 Leonard Cohen album ‘Old __’ 26. Lyric poem 27. AC/DC-influenced Norwegian

rockers? 31. Incubus ‘__ __ Water’ (3,3) 33. “Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where __ __ child I’d hide, (2,1) 34. Richard Ashcroft band 35. Respected musician, perhaps 39. Where Jimmy Buffett eats his ‘Cheeseburger’ 40. John Lennon ‘Bring __ __ Home To Me’ (2,2) 41. 3-part ‘Just A Song Before I Go’ harmony legends (abbr) 43. ‘Control I’m Here’ Nitzer __ 45. ‘93 album ‘Sweet __: A Benefit For Victoria Williams’ 46. ‘03 Ani DiFranco album that will develop? 47. Van Morrison ‘Did Ye Get __’ 49. ‘Mystery Lady (Songs Of Billie Holiday)’ jazz singer James 52. Blessid Union Of Souls ‘Standing At The Edge Of The __’ 53. Bonnie Raitt ‘Longing In __ Hearts’ 54. “All __ places have their moments, with lovers and friends I still can recall” 55. ‘04 Linkin Park hit ‘Breaking The __’ 60. James Morrison ‘These Pieces Don’t __ Anymore’ 61. Ella Fitzgerald ‘Ac-Cent-Tchu-__ The Positive’ 62. Promise Ring’s fitting message on ‘Very Emergency’ 63. English ‘Auberge’ sing/songer Chris 64. After The Fire’s Falco cover ‘__ Kommissar’ © 2018 Todd Santos

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 29

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Giving up the ghost

In January, Amanda Sparrow Large, 46, of Belfast, Ireland, stretched the MayDecember union to new lengths when she wed a 300-year-old ghost of a Haitian pirate. “I wanted the big traditional wedding with the white dress. It was very important to me,” she told the Irish Mirror. Large said that “Jack,” who was executed for thieving on the high seas, became known to her one night in 2014, when she felt the energy of a spirit next to her while lying in bed. Large has worked as a Jack Sparrow (of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies) impersonator, and she believes her job opened the door for her spirit-husband to reach out to her. Alas, the Mirror reported on Dec. 8, things didn’t work out for the odd couple: “I will explain all in due course,” Large wrote on social media, “but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality. It’s not something to mess with.”

The ghost of lunches past

The Cranston (Rhode Island) School District is taking its response to delinquent school lunch accounts up a notch, reported WJAR TV on Dec. 6. District COO Raymond Votto Jr. sent a letter to parents notifying them that a collection agency will be contacting those with lunch overdrafts starting on Jan. 2 and noted that the current deficit is almost $46,000. “The district lunch program cannot continue to lose revenue,” Votto wrote. The letter specified that students will continue to receive food regardless of whether their account is in arrears. Families with unpaid charges of more than $20 will be notified by mail, which the district called a softer approach.

Unclear on the concept

• Dominick Breedlove of Spring Hill, Florida, doomed his chances of landing a job at Kohl’s on Dec. 5, reported Fox 13 News, by getting arrested for shoplifting after his interview. Breedlove arrived for his appointment with Human Resources around 3:20 that afternoon, Hernando County Sheriff’s deputies said, and afterward stopped to browse in the shoe department. A loss prevention officer watching Breedlove told police the suspect went outside to his car, retrieved a Kohl’s shopping bag and returned to the store, where he stashed two pairs of Nike athletic shoes worth $150 in the bag. Breedlove was charged with shoplifting, and the sheriff’s office confirmed he was not hired. • A Michigan bank robber failed to appear at his sentencing hearing on Dec. 6 in Macomb County Circuit Court because he was cooling his heels in Toledo, Ohio, after being arrested in connection with another bank robbery. Paul Carta, 45, pleaded

guilty in October to robbing a bank in May in Utica, Michigan, and was due in court on the 6th, Newsweek reported. But on the 5th, the Toledo Police Department said, Carta entered a Toledo bank and handed a clerk a note demanding money and warning that he was armed. The bank employee gave Carta an undisclosed amount of money, and he fled the bank. Toledo police took him into custody 11 minutes later at a Taco Bell drive-thru nearby. He was held in Toledo on $50,000 bond.

the next day: “Hey Anthony! We haven’t seen you yet.” Officers even offered him a ride. But Akers couldn’t be bothered: “Thank you, tying up a couple loose ends since i will probably be in there for a month.” He promised to surrender within 48 hours. When the weekend passed without any sign of Akers, officers wrote: “Is it us? We waited but you didn’t show.” To which Akers replied: “Dear RPD, it’s not you, it’s me. I obviously have commitment issues. ... P.S. You’re beautiful.” Finally, on Dec. 4, Akers arrived at the Richland police station, posting a selfie Weird science Scientists are likening the strange occur- with the caption: “Thank you RPD for letrence of eels getting stuck in monk seals’ ting me do this on my own.” Aww, ain’t nostrils to “one of those teenage trends,” love grand? according to The Washington Post. Charles Littnan, lead scientist of the National Oce- Around the bend anic and Atmospheric Administration’s Science teacher Margaret Gieszinger, 52, Hawaiian Monk Seal Research Program, at University Preparatory High School in posited, “One juvenile seal did this very Visalia, California, was captured on vidstupid thing, and now the others are trying eo chopping off students’ hair with scissors to mimic it,” but he and other scientists are on Dec. 5, while loudly, and incorrectly, stumped about the phenomenon. Hypothe- singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The ses suggest that the eels jet up the nostrils Visalia Times-Delta described the video as seals poke their faces into eels’ hiding showing Gieszinger starting with a male spots, or seals regurgitate the eels and they student seated in a chair at the front of the exit through the nose. Over the last two room as she cuts portions of his hair and years, three or four incidences have been tosses them behind her. When she moved reported, all with good outcomes — for the on to a female student, other teenagers startseals. No eels have survived. ed screaming and ran out of the classroom. Lilli Gates, one of Gieszinger’s students, told the Times-Delta the teacher “is a lovSweet revenge

ing and kind lady. She is usually all smiles and laughs. This is not the Miss G. we know and love.” After Gieszinger’s arrest on suspicion of felony child endangerment, the district notified parents that she would not be returning to the classroom.

The litigious society

When Stephen Keys boarded a SkyWest flight in Reno, Nevada, on Sept. 9, he settled into his first-class seat and reached to buckle his seat belt. But when he raised the right armrest for better access, his right pinky finger became lodged in a small hole under the armrest, according to the lawsuit he filed against American Airlines and SkyWest on Dec. 5. Keys tried repeatedly to remove his finger but could not, and it remained stuck for nearly an hour until the flight landed and airline mechanics disassembled the armrest, reported City News Service. “The spring mechanism ... applied intense pressure to the plaintiff’s finger, immediately inflicting injury, swelling and pain,” the lawsuit read. “Dozens of passengers became aware of Mr. Keys’ perilous condition, causing his dire situation to become a humiliating public spectacle.” What’s more, the injury left Mr. Keys unable to drive and play with his children, causing severe emotional distress, according to the lawsuit. SkyWest, citing ongoing litigation, would not comment on the suit. Visit newsoftheweird.com.

Ted Pelkey of Westford, Vermont, has been battling the Westford Development Review Board for months over his proposal to erect a building on his property for his truck repair and monofilament recycling business. But he told WCAX News that the city keeps putting up barriers to the development, so Pelkey has instead installed a message to the board and the people of Westford: a giant sculpture of a fist with the middle finger raised. “It’s very big. Everybody got the message,” said Fairfax resident Carol Jordan. Pelkey, who spent $4,000 on the public rebuke, said he hopes the citizens of Westford will take a “really long look at the people who are running their town.” In the meantime, the select board told WCAX that because the sculpture is considered public art, they can take no action against it.

Bromance

Anthony Akers, 38, and the Richland (Washington) Police Department embarked on an amusing meet-cute of law and fugitive on Nov. 28 when the department posted a wanted photo of Akers on its Facebook page. Five hours after the posting, National Public Radio reported, Akers responded with: “Calm down, i’m going to turn myself in.” When Akers was a no-show, the department messaged him

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 20, 2018 - JANUARY 9, 2019 | PAGE 30

PET OF THE WEEK Hershey Kisses are wonderful treats, and this lovely older cat is a treat as well! Hershey Kiss is a mature, sophisticated lady who is looking for a new home because her previous owner didn’t have time to care for her. Although Hershey Kiss isn’t a lap cat and doesn’t enjoy being overly fussed with, she is still great company and will listen if you need to vent about your day. If you’re looking for an older cat who knows what she wants, and if you don’t mind a cat that can show a bit of sass sometimes, Hershey may be your girl. Come see her at the NHSPCA in Stratham or visit nhspca.org.

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