April 1 2015 complete

Page 1

Dress Code Change

Exciting Editorials College acceptance myths finally revealed Page 2

The Seattle Prep dress code to be removed from student handbook. Page 5

Cheerleaders Due to recent influx of interest, cheerleaders return to campus. Page 7

The Seattle Prep Panther April 1, 2015

Volume LXXX No. 8

Real Reason for New Building Exposed ABIGAIL WILLIAMS ‘16

Juniors Released Early BEEZOW DOO-DOO ZOPITTY- BOP-BOP ‘16

The alarmed doors to Prep’s former Adelphia Hall containing Mr. Hickey’s secret playground. The current seniors, juniors, and sophomores can recall months upon months of eating lunch in hallways jampacked with students due to a lack of a cafeteria, or even a substantial building on Prep’s campus, for that matter. Plans for the new Adelphia Memorial Hall were introduced to the Seattle Prep student body back in 2010. Donations from families and donors flooded in, and the students agreed to take on a semester of crammed quarters, looking forward to the reward of a brand new building in the future. Everyone thought this renovation to the campus was completely necessary for the very safety of the Prep community. Word went around that the then current Adelphia Hall was structurally unsound, and professionals feared that if a major earthquake were to hit Seattle, there was a risk of the 110 year old building collapsing. With the whole

school fooled, it was the president of Seattle Prep, Mr. Hickey, who fabricated this entire plan for his own scheme. After an extensive investigation, confirmation that Mr. Hickey made up this entire “safety hazard” of a building has been released. Yet, the Prep community is still left wondering, what has he done with the old Adelphia? Its closed doors and forbidden nature make the happenings within it quite suspicious. The Panther went undercover and got the inside scoop from the offender himself. With an intense interrogation, the whole truth was revealed. Mr. Hickey claims to have always had a passion for the beautiful game laser tag. As a child, he was deprived of such a luxury, and never had the opportunity to live out his dream experience of participating in the sport. One day he thought, if only there was a way to take advantage of

the Prep campus so that he could pursue his fantasy. One thing led to another, and Hickey had his plan of action ready for the public. It was left perfectly concealed from the public eye, until now. Every late start, while the teachers are supposedly having “meetings,” they actually compete in the game of laser tag in Mr. Hickey’s state of the art four-level course. That is why they pretend to find their meetings so boring, because they are simply hiding the truth from the student body. Not much is left to say of the far fetched happenings of the laser tag games that occur behind the closed doors leading into the old Adelphia, except for which teacher would win in a match up with every faculty member of Seattle Prep participating?

Beep Beep: Prep’s New Driving School HESTER PRYNNE ‘16

Every high school student looks forward to the highlight of their youth, sitting for thirty hours in a classroom learning about stop signs and unprotected turns. Driver’s Education classes offer a wild opportunity to learn the rules of the road. While many students turn to their local driving schools, Prep is offering a new option. Starting next year, Prep’s driving school will be introduced to all students over the age of fifteen. The class will be available as a semester long Window class or after school program. The class will fulfill the thirty hours of drivers education required by the state of Washington. Classes will provide information regarding traffic safety and handling situations on the road. Some of the topics the class will cover are traffic signs and lane travel. In addition, the information will include how to perform certain skills such as parallel parking and backing around a corner. Students will watch videos and lis-

ten to presentations from the well-trained instructors. The program aims to create defensive drivers that obtain solid skills for the many challenges on the roads. Prep will have access to interactive driving simulators as well as driving on the road. Students will be required to complete six hours of driving with an instructor as well as at least three hours of observation. However, students are advised to drive approximately fifty hours before taking the DOL driving test. The instructed drives will teach and reinforce skills. Having the opportunity to polish the instructions learned in the classroom allows for the student driver to establish safe driving habits. Some of these habits include stopping the vehicle smoothly, visualizing the target ahead, and scanning intersections. Prep will provide safe, reliable automatic cars for the students to practice with. In addition, students will be given journals to record driving trips with

parents and the approximate time it took. The Seattle Prep Driving School instructors will be Robin Lunsford and Brian Mack. Both expertly trained instructors strive to make driving easy and fun. They will make the classes interactive and interesting, instead of simple shoving information down student’s throats. When asked about what he was excited about for Prep’s new driving school, Mr. Mack exclaimed: “Nothing gives me greater joy than getting in car with someone who does not know how to drive!” This extreme amount of enthusiasm is translated throughout the Prep driving school experience. Prep encourages their students to take advantage of the offer because it will take time and money. The class is completely free but students will have to pay a small fee for taking the DOL Knowledge Test. To sign up, visit the Prep website for more information and to sign up Online.

This year there was speculation that the Juniors, for the first time since Prep’s founding in 1891, would not get out two weeks early before the usual end of the school year. Traditionally, Juniors were released from school because of their commitment as students of the Matteo Ricci College with Seattle University. In this way students graduating to the Matteo Ricci College could enjoy the perks of graduating as a Senior. However, in recent years applicants to this program have drastically decreased. In 2011, seven juniors committed, in 2012 six juniors committed and in 2013 only four juniors have applied. But then something very unexpected happened with the juniors in the class of 2016. Over 40 juniors from the Class of 2016 have applied for the Matteo Ricci College. This unusual influx has greatly reversed many of the doubts that administration had about keeping the College open for Prep students. When the Matteo Ricci College was first established with the founding of Seattle Preparatory School in 1891 over half of the Juniors in the school took part in the Matteo Ricci College program. Many of those who applied to Seattle Prep applied for the MRC experience and early opportunity for a college education. Due to the influx of interest from the Class of 2016 in the MRC administration has reversed their decision with all votes for the re-amendment to the Prep Constitution. Juniors will be getting out early as it has been in Prep MRC generations before them.

Prom Theme Leaked NATHANIAL PASTE ‘16 This year’s Prom theme was the subject of heated debate, but the ASB crew have finally reached a decision. The Panther is glad to be the first to announce that Prom 2015 will carry the theme of plaid. That’s right, this year’s Prom will be called “Plaid is Rad”. This theme decision was a manifestation of current fashion trends, as plaid has quickly resurfaced as the new fad. As proof, go to your nearest shopping mall’s clothing stores and see for yourself, plaid is back in, and it really isn’t bad! Students are encouraged to wear as much plaid as possible, and plaid suits, dresses, socks, hats, and even shoes have become widely available. At this year’s Prom there will even be a “Mad for Plaid” contest, and the winner will receive 10 “Get Out of JUG Free” cards, courtesy of

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Editorials

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The Seattle Prep Panther Editors in Chief Draghignazzo ‘15 Cagnazzo ‘15 Managing Editor Abigail Williams ‘16

Photo Editor Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty-Bop-Bop ‘16 Digital Editor Hester Prynne ‘16 Writing Staff Nicki Minaj ‘16 Goody Good ‘16 Shakira ‘16 Steve Bartman ‘16 Reba McEntire ‘16 Chinua Achebe ‘16 Nathanial Paste ‘16 Rising Leeds ‘16 Tituba ‘16 Crystal Waters ‘17 Estaban Julio Ricardo Ramirez ‘17 Thomas Jefferson Kent ‘17 Amy ‘17 Kevin Jonas ‘17 Nevel Papperman ‘17 Nora Dershlit ‘17 Moses ‘17 Toxica Dendron ‘18 Amme Yenooc ‘18 Moderator Dangerfield Newby

Mission Statement

The Panther is a student created, studentrun journalism program which provides the Seattle Prep community with inaccurate, uninformative articles and media while practicing the components of a professional newspaper. The staff aims to create an unreliable newspaper/website which focuses on trivial issues.

Editorial Policy

The Seattle Prep Panther is a forum for student work. The editorial board makes final decisions regarding publication. The editorial board’s responsibility is to present only one viewpoint. The correct viewpoint. The views presented in the Panther or in online publications are here to guide unenlightened members of the school, staff, or administration to the correct way of thinking.

Find us online at: www.SeaPrepPanther.org Twitter: @SeaPrepPanther

seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Editor: Siena Jeakle ‘15

Chim Chim Cher-Boo: Something Amiss with the Chimney CAGNAZZO ‘15

I am alarmed to hear of all the suspicious activity that is going on right under our noses here at the school. A suspicious gambling ring right on our very own campus. Who would have thought? I must say when the chimney sprouted up all of a sudden at the beginning of this school year, I felt there must have been something fishy going on. Exhaust? Right, like anyone ever believed that. What a non-sensical reason to put a huge chimney right at the front of our school. There had to be something more, and now it proves that is most definitely true. This sudden news has thrown all of the student body for a loop. Frankly, I do not know what I am supposed to do with myself. The crack down on gambling, especially in regards to NCAA brackets, has taken a large toll on the entire Seattle population and the Seattle Prep community is being so heavily affected by it. Students are running scared and most of the classes have abandoned the patch of the plaza that runs by the chimney, that is if the students brave out on to the plaza at all. One may have noticed the huge

frantic storms of underclassmen rushing nervously from out of the basement of the garage recently. These kids are using the garage to get from place to place because they are so terrified to even step foot out on to the plaza. The biggest rift has come from the teachers. As Moses stated in the article, the school has been unable to correctly identify the four teachers behind this nonsense. This has caused major distrust among the Faculty; Collegio pairings are becoming unable to teach because everyone is so afraid of each other. A student in one sophomore Collegio said that the two teachers stand as far away as possible in the classroom, if they are even in the same room. She continued that the teachers have been taking as much advantage of the break-out rooms and library as possible. Community Ministry, the place where everyone goes to feel together, is shutting down. The teachers walk in straight to their offices and shut and bolt the door. Smiles are a rarity throughout the entire school and nobody knows what to do with themselves. The bright spirit and communi-

ty at Seattle Prep is gone. Somebody needs get down to the bottom of this before incoming students start to flee. My sister, an incoming freshman, said she’s confused about what she wants to do next year. “Should I have chosen a different school? Am I going to be scared everyday? Prep’s incredible community that my siblings experienced is exactly why I chose this school and now it seems like that’s all disappearing. I really hope this gets figured out before I have to start in the Fall.” Seniors, who were already itching to get out of here, are more eager to leave than ever. Marissa Madrazo, who sent in her admission to the UW last week, says, “The senioritis was starting to kick in before this happened and now I’m prepared to not even show up the rest of the school year. This situation has me flabbergasted and I dread coming to this place that used to make me so happy.” The secret gambling in the chimney has really taken its toll on the school. I just hope that this gets figured out soon before the school begins losing it students and Faculty.

College Admissions Myths Busted DRAGHIGNAZZO ‘15

The college application process has become so horribly nerve-racking and scary that students don’t even know how to approach it. All prospective college students want to know that same thing: What do colleges want? I am here to set the record straight, and break down what colleges are really looking for. Myth #1: Good grades are more important than standardized tests. Wrong. Standardized tests are more important than everything. Hanging with friends, going to movies, family dinners, church—NOTHING is as important as standardized tests. It is a well-known fact that any application scoring below a 2200 on the SAT is thrown into a fire without being opened while surrounding admissions officers do the ceremonial “Jig of Disapproval”. SAT does stand for “Smartness All Together” after all, so schools know to trust your scores as the ultimate detector of your value as a person. Myth #2: Going on service trips is impressive to colleges. Unfortunately, the days of building houses in New Orleans being impressive are long gone. Nowadays, every student and their brother is building houses, doing Ted Talks, finding cures for cancer, blah, blah, blah, and it’s become downright unoriginal. Colleges naturally want to see more substance. For this reason,

the new expectation is that students have solved one or two global issues before applying to college. Try solving global warming or negotiating settlements to the Palestinian question for example. Did you know the economic crisis of 2008 was remedied by a student who wanted something to put on his college apps? He’s now a proud graduate of the University of Northern Iowa. Myth #3: Parents should be less involved in the college process. This, of course, is completely untrue. Colleges LOVE when parents call them. Admissions officers much prefer having a dignified parent scream respectfully into their ears to hearing a sniffling high school student’s stupid questions. In fact, what they really want is for more parents to attend the school. That way they can make sure their kids don’t screw up their college applications, their college experience, OR their life. No wasting youth on the young anymore! Myth #4: Students should get their recommendations from teachers of challenging courses. A common misconception, but in today’s competitive college arena, sending in a measly teacher rec to a college has become essentially equivalent to spitting into an envelope and asking a school to admit you. It’s illegal in Vermont. In reality, schools regard celebrity endorse-

ments as the most credible recommendations for students. The Ivies suggest getting recs from such sources as Joe Biden, Beyoncé, Pope Francis, etc, but even a C-List celebrity like Judge Judy would do. Last year, three Washington high schoolers who received a thumbs up from Bethany Mota via youtube are now attending MIT, Oxford, and Yale. Myth #5: Affirmative Action is a factor. Everyone knows that, because of affirmative action, colleges are now so packed to the brim with minority students that most schools have a minority majority. This phenomenon has necessitated the creation of the term “minjority,” and has struck fear in the hearts of rich white kids everywhere. In order to fix this confusing admissions system, colleges are moving towards a system that selects the student body based on their Facebook likes, thus producing a far more reliable and fair system for everyone. Hopefully this has cleared up some of the biggest myths about the college admissions process, and will ease the minds of worried students about to apply to schools. At the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is to simply be Yourself. Well, with proper spelling, to be ŸuūrSielf, Norse god of crew scholarships and taking six AP classes. Never forget to be ŸuūrSielf!

“Prom Theme Leaked” continued from page 1 Mr. Stearns himself, who was more than willing to offer such a lucrative prize. Second and third place winners will receive plaid shirts, and will be encouraged to keep the fad alive at school over the next several weeks. Leading up to Prom, the week before will be a week dedicated to plaid apparel, and will be called, “Glad about Plaid!” Students will be expected to come decked out in their best plaid apparel for the entire week, and a prize awaits the student who wears the most plaid throughout the week.

To further the plaid celebration, Prep’s walls and carpets will also be colored plaid, and plaid clothes, gear, and supplies will be sold at Panther Place every day of the week. If students have any questions about Prom or the week as a whole, they can ask the ASB crew or Mr. Stearns. This Prom is expected to be our biggest and best one yet, and what better way to enjoy it than to incorporate plaid. The ASB crew concluded that this year’s theme will attract more students to the dance than ever before due to the popularity and appeal of plaid.

When asked about the plaid theme, ASB President Siena Jeakle ‘15 said, “Obviously plaid is the best pattern of all. When we were all trying to decide a theme that would make everyone happy, it just came to us. What’s the one thing everybody agrees is the absolute best? Clearly plaid!” Thus there is no question that the plaid theme will be a huge success, and everyone should be eagerly awaiting the arrival of this year’s Prom, and the popularization of everything plaid here at Seattle Prep.


Campus Life

seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Editor: Emma Cooney ‘18 and Sarah Buchanan ‘16

The Mystery Behind the Chimney

MOSES ‘17

After a recent crackdown on illegal gambling on the NCAA Tournament games occurred in Seattle, racketeers have gone to extreme measures to ensure that the gambling can continue. Naturally, these cunning racketeers, formerly headquartered in M203 the former Spanish room in McDonell, have taken refuge in an impenetrable fortress here on campus. General consensus from sources close to the situation tell the press that the new brick box over the former chimney on the plaza the secret hideout for the teachers. These teachers, who refused to speak to the press, are believed to be very dangerous and still at large. The teachers cannot be named for legal reasons but the first letters of their names can be revealed, A, M, D and G. These teachers have been placed under observation and are certainly suspects, however, the teacher starting with the letter D has been identified as the ring leader. Perhaps the most interesting part of the entire story is the description given by the only student to have been inside the chimney and managed to escape. Unfortunately, neither the students name nor gender can be revealed to protect their identity,

however the fascinating story can be told in a nutshell to omit incriminating details. Student A told the Panther that while waiting after school on Jan 21 2015, they noticed an odd noise coming from the chimney. When they went to investigate, they felt as if they were being watched from above. He reports that they looked all around but couldn’t identify any suspicious shape. Unfortunately, it appears that A was knocked out and then dragged into the chimney. Once inside, A woke up to see a masked teacher standing over A with a fishing pole in hand. The only identifying feature was the teacher’s Seattle Prep jacket. It was reportedly colored black with grey stripes. Student A remembers no more until they were found by a Seattle Prep Police Force member near Montlake play field. A tournament bracket, filled out by hand was found nearby along with 400 dollars and a note that requested that the bracket be entered in to the illegal pool. It is highly likely that the note was dropped by the person who dumped Student A, probably a Prep teacher. Anyone with more information or other suspicious activity is requested to contact the SPPF.

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Closing the Automatic Doors SIMBA ‘17

Seattle Prep administrators have confirmed that the automatic doors around Prep are going to be removed by the end of the school year, in hopes of decreasing heating and cooling costs. The current doors have been ineffective in keeping the temperature of the buildings steady. More recently, the doors have been breaking down often due to overuse of the “hands free” button. The new doors will improve insulation over 150% and electricity costs will be dramatically cut. Although insulation is the main reason for the change, it has been said that this is also to increase upper arm strength of students. To bulk up, vanilla and chocolate protein shakes, as well as egg white and kale salads will be sold in the cafeteria in the upcoming month. Weights will be placed un-

der the door handles and will be gradually increased until the whole school can pass a rigorous fit test. Many have observed Prep students getting “wimpier” because backpacks are much lighter due to the one-toone program. The doors themselves will be wooden and weigh over 200lbs. Mr. Hickey has a positive opinion on the new doors “Since they were taken from an abandoned barn, we got a really good deal on them!” This year’s seniors will get the chance to engrave their name into the sides of the doors, provided they bring their own tools to do so. The current speculation is that the doors are going to taken out on Earth Day, in a ceremonial all-school bonding. The goals for next year can be divided into two categories: cost-efficiency and body building.

Beloved Spotted on Campus STEVE BARTMAN ‘16

These past few weeks, reports of a supernatural being haunting Prep’s halls have been trickling in to Mr. Kelly’s office. Floating white dresses, flashing red lights, and frisky turtles are just a few of the many abnormalities seen around campus. After a rigorous investigation headed by members of the English department, a unanimous consensus was reached: Beloved’s ghost was to blame for all this mischief. Although it was previously believed that Beloved only resided in 124, the recent events at Prep have debunked this idea. It is unclear as to why Beloved has decided to haunt a high school, but English teacher extraordinaire Ms. Slevin has a few ideas: “Perhaps it has something to do with her yearning to receive a proper Jesuit education since she was cheated out of a schooling experience with her pre-mature death. Or possibly it could have something to do with her search for a new teenage sister; she and Denver always had a little

grudge match going on.” Students are equally disturbed by Beloved’s presence, especially the underclassmen who have not yet read Toni Morrison’s masterpiece. Bryn Mallon ‘18 has felt especially victimized in all the chaos: “I was like walking in like the commons the other day when like this white dress came over and started like touching me on the head. All these Juniors started like laughing and talking about like some thing that was hot and I was like what the heck is this I am officially creeped out, ya know?” After seeing Beloved’s stubbornness and refusal to leave Prep’s students and faculty alone, it is clear that she will be a Panther for the foreseeable future. Students are advised to keep their distance from the phantom as she may try to cut their throats. Talk about a hot thing!

Poison Oak Infiltrates Plumbing TOXICA DENDRON ‘18

Students may need to be wary of their water usage in the upcoming weeks. According to John O’Neil, our facilities director, there has been a supposedly deliberate placement of poison oak in the AMH and McDonnell plumbing systems. Investigative authorities found the source at Miller & 12th and 11th, where the buildings are serviced, and claim that several people were seen on the sites the day before the dilemma was first noticed. The suspects include angry Prep Green Team members, ASB president Siena Jeakle ‘15, Prep teacher Jim Johnston, and a group of unidentified Blanchet students. In the meantime, students who are unwilling to risk using the infected water or who have pneumonia, diverticulitis, cholecystititus, pancreatic pseudocyst, dermatitis herpetiformis, or primary biliary cirrhosis will be directed to Ignatius bathrooms and water fountains. Two sign-up sheets will be posted for the Ignatius girl’s and boy’s restrooms. Upon

signing up for a bathroom usage, students will receive a stamp to be checked by the current teacher(s) directing traffic at the bathrooms in between classes and during lunch. As for the individual(s) who deliberately inflicted this dilemma upon us, anyone with evidence or suspicions should come forward and let the authorities know. Both of the Bernal kids suspect this to be an attack from the Illuminati. When asked his opinions, Coach Scott pondered, scratched his arm, and said, “That’s not a very (scratch scratch scratch) good thing to do (scratch).” Barrett Fanning ‘15 revealed, “I’m not quite sure what to think of this travesty. It really has devastated the Seattle Prep community. It might not only invade our toilet systems and our sewers, but it also will invade children’s lives. You can’t stop that.” However, contrary to her peers, Jasmine Lee ‘18 looks on this situation in a positive light. “I can’t wait to taste some poison oak! Yum!”

Sophomore Haley Guinasso tries with all of her might to open the new 200 pound doors installed at Prep.

Tragic Tumble Results in Installation of Escalator AMY ‘17

For years, both students and teachers have complained about the arduous task of climbing stairs in order to get to classes. After numerous complaints and falling incidents throughout the Prep community, administration has decided that this upcoming school year, escalators will be installed in place of the stairwells in Adelphia Memorial Hall. School President, Mr. Hickey, explains, “The Adelphia stairwell is a safety hazard that has caused countless cases of injuries in both students and faculty. We believe that installing an escalator would be the safest and most beneficial option for the community.” On numerous occasions, both students and teachers have fallen down the stairs and have received numerous injuries. Incidents of concussions, twisted arms, and sprained toes have spread all across the Prep community, in not only Adelphia, but also Ignatius and McDonnell. In one severe case, Sophomore, Lily Dowling took a fall down the central Adelphia stairwell. Dowling tumbled down 3 flights of stairs resulting in a twisted ankle, 4 broken fingers, and a broken elbow. After being rushed to hospital, Dowling

explained the importance of the removal of stairs from the building. She states, “The Adelphia stairs have always been a problem for not only myself, but others in our community. I’m glad that the administration has come up with a solution to the problem”. Dowling has been recovering smoothly from her injuries and she is scheduled to return to school in 2 months. The escalator will be installed the week after this school year ends. In addition to being less hazardous to the community, the escalator will be a quicker and more efficient way for students to travel around Prep. Students will be able to travel around campus with ease, and without the looming possibility of tripping or falling. Hickey states, “We as a community are turning toward more efficient and technological ways. From the iPad, to online lunch accounts, I think that it is necessary we also turn to new ways of transportation. With the new addition of escalators to the Seattle Prep community, students will not only feel safe, but more comforted in the evolving ways of the future.”


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Student Bios

seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Editors: Mikaela Frigillana ‘17 and Jeffrey Pelayo ‘17

Spring Breakers

Freshman: Gael Sanquer

Warm up: Favorite colors? Red and blue How tall are you? 5’4 Relationship status? Single Favorite sport? Rugby or basketball Favorite football team? Seattle Seahawks Favorite mascot? None Favorite subject? History or chemistry Notability or pages? Pages Haiku dropbox or Turnitin? Turnitin What school would you go to if you didn’t apply to Prep? Blanche

de Castille What are your Spring Break plans? Boating on my dad’s new sailboat Favorite drink/refreshment? Coke and fruit juice Favorite airline? Air France Favorite airplane food? None What city do you live in? Nantes If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Ireland Most common vacation spot? West of France Vacation necessities? Camera If you were stuck on an island

with one person/thing, who/what would it be? A boat Worst vacation? I have never had one Best vacation? On my grandma’s house in Brittany How late have you ever stayed up? 6 am

Warm up: Favorite colors? Green and gold How tall are you? 5’2 Relationship status? In a relationship Favorite sport? Volleyball Favorite football team? Seattle Seahawks Favorite mascot? Braves Favorite subject? History Notability or pages? Notability Haiku dropbox or Turnitin? Turnitin What school would you go to if you didn’t apply to Prep? Blanchet

What are your Spring Break plans? Going to Cabo with my friends Favorite drink/refreshment? Chocolate milk Favorite airline? Alaska Airlines Favorite airplane food? Pretzels What city do you live in? Renton If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Greece Most common vacation spot? Mexico Vacation necessities? Beach If you were stuck on an island with one person/thing, who/what

would it be? Jeffrey Pelayo Worst vacation? Yakima Best vacation? Hawaii How late have you ever stayed up? 7 am

Warm up: Favorite colors? Maroon and blue How tall are you? 6’1 Relationship status? In a relationship Favorite sport? Basketball and track Favorite football team? Seattle Seahawks Favorite mascot? Bears Favorite subject? Spanish Notability or pages? Pages Haiku dropbox or Turnitin? Turnitin What school would you go to if you didn’t apply to Prep? Bald-

win What are your Spring Break plans? Working for money Favorite drink/refreshment? Oreo milkshake Favorite airline? Alaska Airlines Favorite airplane food? Chicken curry What city do you live in? Wailuku If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Seattle Most common vacation spot? California Vacation necessities? Laptop If you were stuck on an island

with one person/thing, who/ what would it be? A lot of pizza Worst vacation? None Best vacation? Africa How late have you ever stayed up? All night

Warm up: Favorite colors? Red, white, and blue How tall are you? 6’5 Relationship status? Single Favorite sport? Basketball Favorite football team? Seattle Seahawks Favorite mascot? Wildcats Favorite subject? My ethics class Notability or pages? Pages Haiku dropbox or Turnitin? Haiku dropbox What school would you go to if you didn’t apply to Prep? St.

Ignatius College Preparatory What are your Spring Break plans? Going to New York and Boston to visit colleges Favorite drink/refreshment? Dr. Pepper Favorite airline? Alaska Airlines Favorite airplane food? Cheese and cracker plate What city do you live in? San Francisco If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? Mumbai, India Most common vacation spot? San

Diego to visit my grandparents Vacation necessities? Camera If you were stuck on an island with one person/thing, who/ what would it be? Bear Grylls Worst vacation? None Best vacation? I took an amazing two week long photography/ filmmaking trip through the Swiss and French alps last summer How late have you ever stayed up? I’ve pulled an all-nighter multiple times

Sophomore: Olivia Gasca

Junior: Joel Oduro

Senior: Thomas Lange


Campus Life

seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Editor: Kate Delaney ‘16 Annika Bjornson ‘18

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New Dress Code Changes

GOODY GOOD ‘16

With the demolition of Adelphia next year is also the demolition of the already lenient Prep dress code. This year students, and teacher, have probably noticed the strict dress code. Teachers have been cracking down on those spaghetti straps, ripped jeans, and short dresses. Next year things will be very different. Mr. Stearns is taking the dress code away in the fall of 2015 to promote self expression in an appropriate manner. Mr. Stearns just publicized his announcement to the school claiming that Prep has been putting up barriers that restrain students from expressing their true self. Mr. Stearns says, "taking away the strict dress code should promote students to express themselves freely. But, we need to draw the line somewhere..." Mr. Stearns goes on to explain that although dress code rules will not be printed in the student handbook, students will be expected to dress appropriately on their own accord. Mr. Stearns says high school is a very important time for "adolescents to find themselves and learn how to act (and dress) appropriately in the real world and we should not hold them back from doing so."

Students and teachers are left confused by Mr. Stearns unexpected decision. Students wonder why the school would ever allow such a rash change. Hailey Nelson '18 says, " I am shocked. I get how self expression is important but it is very odd." Teachers are completely astonished. Mr. Eagan, a big supporter of the current dress code, is very confused. He enforces the dress code strictly but says he never knows to what extent to follow through with all the rules. He is known to cite his JUG decisions by referring students to the handbook. Mr. Eagan knows the pages of the dress code in the handbook like the back of his hand. He says it is going to be hard to restrain from citing students to the dress code and giving them JUG. Mr. Eagan supports self expression in youth, having two children of his own, but hopes it will be done in a classy manner. Prep braces for the changes Mr. Stearns is putting in effect Fall of 2015. This will be a major change for the school dynamic and culture. Students gain responsibility and trust while teachers sit back and trust Mr. Stearns' decision.

Matt Seib takes the stage for the Boyhood inspired one-act that is sure to delight- for twelve whole years.

Boyhood-Inspired One Act Takes Courage and Twelve Years DRAGHIGNAZZO ‘15

The controversial Dress Code changes shock Prep students.

Hobbit Sequel to be a 5-Parter

THOMAS JEFFERSON KENT ‘17

In a surprising turn of events, Peter Jackson revealed plans for an upcoming set of sequels to The Hobbit films. This sequel, based on the works of J. R. R. Tolkien, is to be a five part movie based on a two-page poem written by Tolkien before the release of The Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit trilogy ended this year with The Battle of Five Armies, bringing and end to Peter Jackson's follow-up to his Lord of the Rings trilogy. Fans of the series were sad to see the 10year series dissolve into CGI oblivion, but now it's back. Jackson expressed his excitement at the new technological advances that are to be made in the films: "We've worked hard to create a formula that helps us make these movies quickly and easily without much thought or effort. We've been phasing out 'acting' and replacing 'character development' and 'plot' with CGI fight scenes." Whereas the original trilogy was filmed on-sight in New Zealand over months, Jackson has streamlined the filming process of these new movies to be completed in two hours. "The entire film is being shot in a 100 square foot warehouse in L.A. coated in green-screen. Most of the actors also wear green-screen suits that reveal only their faces. Actually Ian McKellan's face is also mostly synthetic-alloy laid over his skin." McKellan's character, Gandalf, is also playing a part in the aid of the script, Jackson says: "Our script-writers have been able to create a computer program that ran-

domizes wise-sounding catchphrases for Ian to say. This comprises 95% of the script. I've heard it takes about 25 minutes for the computers to pump out the dialogue for each film. All the writers have to do is press the 'on' button." The movies' release dates are set to come out once a year for the next five summers leading up to 2019. "A lot of thought has gone into how long we're making fans wait for each new installment," said Jackson, "we've planned the release schedule to the perfect length so that viewers will have just forgotten everything about the last movie as the new one comes out." This doesn't mean the movies are going to be short, says Jackson "We've estimated that the films' original run times are about 60 minutes, by the time the editing room has added slo-motion, epic landscape shots, and other fluff, the films even out to their desired three to four hour run-times." The announcement of these films has received opposition from fans who are skeptical of there being enough material for five more films. "Don't worry" says Jackson, "the films may be based on a two page poem that only loosely relates to the Hobbit storyline, but we are masters at squeezing the most cash possible out of everything Tolkien wrote." No matter what Jackson creates, this reporter will be in the theaters this summer for the next installment.

In this year’s One Act Festival, one student has bravely decided to take on an incredible endeavor: a one act adaptation of the Oscar-nominated movie, Boyhood. Student Patrick Grady ‘15, ASB officer and Boyhood super-fan, was inspired and impressed when he saw the breakthrough film, which was filmed over the course of 12 years. Grady decided to mimic the style in this year’s (and that of years to come) Festival of One Acts. In the movie, the audience witnesses the actors actually grow and age throughout the film. Likewise, the stage version will follow Matt Seib, playing the part of Boyhood protagonist, Mason, as he ages twelve years before the audience’s eyes. It will take fantastic devotion and but it sure to render amazing results. “I know it will take a lot of commitment, but the concept is just too amazing to say no,” says Seib ’17. “Imagine seeing an actor literally age, intermittently, on the same stage over a decade. That’s crazy! It’s a gift I want to give to an audience.”

The project will require actors to return for Prep’s One Act Festival each year until 2027, when the play will finally be finished. Do to the longevity of the process, the show has been met with some controversy. “It’s supposedly a one act. But it’s more than one act. Like, twelve years more,” says Sam Eco ‘16. To such criticism however, director Patrick Grady says, “Trust me, it will be worth it. People just have to believe. I mean, it is Academy Award nominated” He adds, “Plus I figured, if we could do the entirety of Frozen last year, then Boyhood isn’t that much of a stretch. So come see Boyhood this April! And the next April. And the next April. And the next April. And...” Grady then said "And the next April" eight more times. The show will be a huge endeavor. Though met with controversy, one thing is for sure. The show is sure to be unlike anything ever seen at Seattle Prep, and could change the way that people think of one-act plays forever.

Leniency in New School Rules NORA DERSHLIT ‘17

This April, Prep is making a few changes to its current rule book for the students, which is sure to be pleasing to the majority of the student body. The current rules that Prep witholds have been set in stone for many reasons, but times have changed, and the faculty have agreed in changing certain rules that many Prep students have tried to alter this past year. To start off, iPads have been added this year to the school's academic curriculum, which everybody was excited for. However, these new electronics were not allowed in the cafeteria. How were people supposed to do their homework that they did not do the night before while eating their lunch? Well, the faculty have compromised on this question and now iPads are available to use in the cafeteria! Students will be able to do their homework during lunch without the threat of receiving JUG, and they'll be able to play games freely in the cafeteria! Another rule that the students

were having controversy with, was the restriction of eating in the new Adelphia building. "Yes, the Adelphia building is brand-spanking new, but the building isn't going to stay new forever! Let the people eat, and give them JUG if they really are making that much of a mess," says Alex Campbell '17. Campbell’s prayers have been heard, and it is currently perfectly fine to eat in Adelphia. Are you hungry, but stuck in an Adelphia classroom? No worries, just whip out a granola bar and you won't receive JUG. Those are the main school rules that have been altered this April, but there many more that have been added and removed from the rule book. Teachers will have more information about this topic, and the changes in rules will be very noticeable around the Prep community. The faculty is open up to more suggestions, but it is believed that these new alterations will be pleasing to the student body.


Campus Life

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seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Tessa Winkelhake ‘16 & Aslan McCurdy ‘17

Yams, Woodshop Offered as New Class CHINUA ACHEBE ‘16 As the school year wraps up, Seattle Prep is starting to say goodbye to something other than its seniors. The blend of English and History that is called Collegio will be ending after the 2014-2015 school year. Although many students have benefited from the class through the years, it has been removed from the curriculum in order to introduce more beneficial classes. Collegio teacher Mr. Richardson had to say this on the departure of Collegio classes, ”It’s definitely sad but it will give our students new opportunities that were previously unavailable”. One of these new classes will be 50 Ways to Cook Yams, taught by Mr. Hendricks. This follow up class from the Things Fall Apart unit in sophomore Collegio will show in depth ways on how to cook yams to a perfect tender consistency,

as well as how Okonkwo from Things Fall Apart and his family would enjoy their yams. Junior Tessa Winkelhake seemed excited about the future and said this on the new class saying, “I love yams at Thanksgiving, but I’m tired of the same old recipe, and I want a new outlook on yams. I feel like this will benefit me so much in later life”. The second new class will be Woodshop taught by Mr. Didovets. Students can look forward to building chairs, tables, boats, and even a house as their final project. Junior Leeds Rising said, “I am excited about Woodshop because I can build myself a chair and carry it around Prep so I always have a place to sit”. The two new classes are just the first of many changes that Prep will be making in the coming years.

Mr. Van Vleck studies by reading the Writing for College textbook

Minor Problem: Van Vleck Underage TITUBA ‘16

One of Prep’s newest staff members, Mr. Van Vleck, is widely admired by most students. After leading Kairos 38 many students have seen his personality shine through and have felt a connection to the young and relatable faculty member. However, it has come to the attention of school authorities that Mr. Van Vleck is underage. Serving as an assistant to Mr. Kelly and working in both Student Life and Athletics, Van Vleck has been seen “observing” classes, such as Writing for College, Weight Lifting, and AP Calculus AB. It is suspected that he sits in on various classes to get a Jesuit education free of charge. As many have noticed, Van Vleck has an extensive shoe collection, but how does he pay for it? It seems, more than likely, that he goes to class free of charge, and takes to money from his job to use for personal purposes. When confronted about the situation, Van Vleck denied all accusations saying “I will show you my ID and my passport; I will bore you with my college stories; if you look closely, you’ll see the

wrinkles I’ve attained clawing through this hard world… What kind of proof do you need?” After being asked to provide his ID sources confirmed it was a fake and believe that the same would be true if he provided a passport. When he was informed of the news, Van Vleck cracked, begging, “Just promise me you won’t tell Mr. Kelly. If I don’t have this job, how do you expect me to afford my sneaker habit?” Now that this issue has come to the attention of the staff, it is certain that Van Vleck will be out of a job. He will soon meet with Mr. Stearns, Mr. Hickey, and Mrs. Reed to determine what will come next. Although he is a minor, all of the staff believe that he has been a wonderful addition to the Prep community. It has been rumored that after he completes his punishment the administration will allow him to attend school at Seattle Prep. The final decision concerning Van Vleck will be made in the coming weeks, but do not expect to see him sitting in the glass office in the entrance to Adelphia Memorial Hall anytime soon.

Marquette Collegio rejoices after discovering that NHD has been removed from the curriculum

NHD is History NICKI MINAJ ‘16 National History Day. The three words that bring smiles to Collegio teachers faces and cast a constant shadow of anxiety over the Juniors that grows larger as summer comes to a close. It is the daunting project upperclassman talk about and Freshmen are informed of the first day they step foot on campus. According to the National History Day website, “it’s not just a day, it’s an experience.” Seattle Prep Collegio teachers would highly agree with this as well, the project being a long process taking up the majority of the first semester. Following a long 25 year legacy of assigning Juniors a National History Day theme to write on, Dean of Academics, Mrs. Tullis, and the Seattle Prep Administration have decided to get rid of the annual project. Mrs. Tullis has decided that it is time for a change in the English/History curriculum and it all starts with getting rid of the strenuous three month long history paper saying “It was just time to make the change. We believed by taking the project out of the curriculum, we would be better living out the Ignatian motto of cura perso-

nalis or caring for the individual student.” For the students, Junior year should be significantly less stressful and more enjoyable. Just think; no more note sheets, no more bibliographies, no more Sunday nights trying frantically to put together a rough draft, well, at least not for a few months that is. The decision will most likely leave a mixed bag of emotions among parents, students, and teachers, as many claim that competing National History Day is a significant milestone in the learning career of the prep student. Veteran collegio teacher and National History Day enthusiast Mr. Hendricks shared “I am excited that we [Seattle Prep] are replacing National History Day with a walk through Interlaken Park followed by a reflection about how we felt.” Although the future seems bright for Juniors with the loss of NHD, Seattle Prep will surely find a way to toughen up the curriculum and implement a new project to prepare its students for college.

Prep Says Goodbye to iPads AMME YENOOC ‘18 Seattle Prep has decided to return to textbooks next year. This year began with iPads providing an exciting new look in school. Students have had easy research access to the internet and ways to communicate with their teachers and peers. The iPads, though, have produced mixed results. While iPads may have lightened the load carried across campus each day, and perhaps increased research opportunities, they haven’t been all rainbows and unicorns. With wifi issues, costly online books, and difficulties with the iPad itself, the school feels it is best to no longer inhibit the learning process with such problematic devices. The most immediate problem with the iPads is that they have proven themselves to be weapons of mass distraction. “It has simply become too difficult to have success in studies with these devices getting in the way,” said a member of the staff who wishes to remain anonymous. Pop-up advertisements, enticing but anti-educational games, and the world wide web have made focusing nearly impossible for students. Sam Hoyt ‘18 stated, “There I am, in my class just trying to focus on the teacher, and then I get a notification that my base is being raided in Clash

of Clans. I feel that it is personally harming my grade, because I just have to check.” Harmful indeed. According to teachers, this year the greatest epidemic of F.T.A.Q. (failure to answer questions) ever seen has hit Prep. The school has seen F.T.A.Q. cases increase this year by 7.12%. The math department agrees, saying, “The numbers don’t lie.” In fact, the devices seem to be getting in the way in more than just focus and participation; they may be a threat to our everyday lives. Jasmine Lee ‘18 said, “I was trying to exit class the other day, and almost tripped over an iPad that was in the way. I am in a cast currently and felt very concerned for my safety.” Other students have reported similar incidents. Apple states in its terms of use that, “[It] cannot ensure that…the site will be free of viruses or contamination or destructive features.” If that wasn’t a straight up admission of guilt then this whole article is made up. Fear not Panthers, thanks to the wisdom and care of our faculty, students can return to school next year without the fear of viruses, contamination, destruction, or distraction.


Sports

seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Editor: Christine Lee ‘17 and Meghan McLaughlin ‘16

Equestrian Polo Squad Takes on the Metro League Despite popular demand, the creation of a Seattle Prep Quiddich team did not make the cut to become an official Metro league sport for the coming winter term. Instead, Prep teachers, students and administrators have bonded together to create a new sport that promises much more than the horseplay of an imaginary team competition. However, the Seattle Prep faculty has passed the creation of a different kind of sport. Equestrian polo, as rare as the sport may be in the Northwest, has been talked about numerous times by students at the Seattle Prep campus. “Equestrian polo has always been my inner fire” remarked one

RISING LEEDS ‘16

student, “I used to play back in the day, but I ended up having to give it up when I chose to take part in the laborious quantity of homework that Seattle Prep gave me my Freshman year. I even remember when my addiction to Equestrian polo was so strong that I skipped writing my Frankenstein paper just so that I could go out for a practice ride.” Now that Equestrian polo has been made an official Prep sport, no student will be met with the difficult decision between playing polo versus doing homework. Meeting afterschool in the commons everyday, the team plans to store the horses in the plaza as well as the Great Room. While some

Athletes Outside of Prep: Extreme Eating

students might see this as an unnecessary inconvenience, members of the polo team argued otherwise, saying that the only places on campus where the horses could be kept for the entire day needed to be on “arable grass, in conditions that were damp but not so wet as to be cold, but also with a consistency that would prevent sun from overheating the horses throughout the day. For matches, the team will be competing against other schools around the Seattle area. Planning to renovate Montlake Field, the team will be sharing a field with the lacrosse and football teams, which is to be sorted out by the respective coaches. These practices, comprised of

7

players riding their horses around, will surely prove to be painful as well as extremely conditioning for everyone. Tryouts will take place over a three week period, which was said by the coaches to be the minimum quantity of time to assess the legitimate quality of polo player. For students who do not have a horse to ride, bikes or skateboards will be acceptable in metro-league games and practices. The polo team is sure to inspire fellow Prep students with its perseverance and finesse, and will prove to be a sport that truly shapes the culture of Prep in the coming year.

SHAKIRA ‘16

This month, the Panther looked to a less mainstream sport that students participate in. Jane Stanley and Ian McCurdy ‘17 were interviewed to give Prepsters the inside scoop on their unknown talent: Competitive Eating.

How many calories do you consume a day? J: I eat about seven times the amount of calories a normal person should eat in a day, it is all training for competition. I: One.

How long have you been competitive eating? Jane Stanley: Since birth, you could say I’m a pro. Ian McCurdy: I have been competitive eating since I was 12 but the sponsorships really started flowing in when I was around 13 or 14.

How do you train? J: I sit down and eat all day, every day. I: That’s confidential, but a lot, training days puts me way above average but most days I am pretty average.

What is the most challenging thing to eat? J: Anything that is slimy, it is hard to eat I: Mexican food is what I find most difficult to eat, lets just say it doesn’t settle well with me. What are your hopes and dreams for the sport? J: I hope that it will become internationally recognized, like in the Olympics or something. I: I hope to take the sport of pro eating to the next level both physically and mentally, but bringing the sport to the eye of the public is the true goal which most pro-eaters would probably agree with so we can show that it is not a joke for only the south of the United States but there is a huge following in the Northwest. Why did you choose to do it? J: I really like to eat so what could be better? I: Because I enjoy eating, for the girls, but mainly for the food. Who do you compete against? J: Other people like me who have a passion and a natural talent to eat. I: I compete in my weight class as it were, but someday I aspire to compete against the greats, the true heavy weights like Joey Chestnut, Matt Stonie, and Tim “the eater” Janus. What has been your proudest moment? J: Winning the apple pie eating contest at a fair when I was little, it really got me hooked. I: After finishing off a line of hotdogs I had to chug down two more for a new set record and I slayed it and it was stellar. Brings a tear to my eye to this day. What’s your favorite thing to eat? J: Apple pie, it never gets old. I: Mainly hotdogs.

What is your favorite technique? J: Not eating at all the day before or the day of my competition so I am literally dying of hunger, it gives me a real advantage. I: Water, lots of water, makes it much easier. Are there any dangers involved with the sport? J: No, there are absolutely no dangers to competitive eating, it is a completely harmless sport. I: There is a high risk with increased blood pressure. A couple of my good friends in the industry have choked and almost died from going to extreme but we saved them in time. How are the fans? Do you have any groupies? J: The fans are amazing, they follow me to every competition and always cheer for me. I guess you could call them groupies. I: I don’t have a huge fan base but when people show up to watch the comps for the MLE (Major League Eating) it gets rowdy and I am stoked to see them hyped. Who is your biggest rival? J: I don’t have any rivals, no one is as good as me. I: I am not too highly ranked but their are some local guys who I will meet with annually who throw down pretty hard, but for the most part we are just happy to get the crowds going and put on a good show. What’s the biggest competitive eating competition? J: The national finals in LA. I: Nathan’s Famous Hotdog Challenge is pretty competitive and is one of the bigger venues. My friend wants to get involved in competitive eating. How do you suggest they get started? J: Eat way more than necessary everyday to stretch out their stomach and then enter themselves into small competitions. I: Start at local venues and just move your way onward and upward!

Competitive eater Ian McCurdy proudly displays his appetizer before a light pre-lunch meal.

Cheerleaders Make a Comeback

ESTABAN JULIO RICARDO MONTOYA DE LA ROSA RAMEREZ ‘17

After many years of debate, Seattle Prep cheer is back in action! Tryouts are being held at the end of the month, to search for talented, spirited, enthusiastic girls and boys to be part of the team. The team will be coed, and personally selected by the cheer coach. Many excited students will await the results, so that they can cheer on the spring sports teams to create more Panther spirit! It has been decided that the cheerleading coach will be hired from Bishop Blanchet, while the assistant coach is Ms. Bernal. Panther Place will be supplying blue and white uniforms with matching jackets and white

bows. Many girls feel that cheerleading is a sport that Prep lacks. Claire Kiersky ‘17, expressed interest in bringing cheer to the Prep community. “I am very excited that cheer is finally a part of Prep. It will really encourage school spirit.” Kiersky would love to speak with anyone who has any questions regarding tryouts and commitment. Cheerleading will be a fun activity for the team to bond and perform in front of the school. In addition to the PULSE dance team, the cheerleading squad will add to the Panther spirit that Seattle Prep already exudes in.

Grad Party Location Moved REBA McENTIRE ‘16

As the end of the 2014-2015 school year gets closer and closer, the senior class starts to think more and more about their coming graduation and the after party that follows. Every year, Prep hosts a graduation party for all of the seniors the night of their graduation. This event lasts all night long and is always a hit. The venue of the party is changed every year. In the past, it has been held anywhere from The Hard Rock Café to the Washington Athletic Club (WAC) in downtown Seattle. This year, the location of the event has been announced early, to the excitement of the senior class. The school was anxious about how the senior class would react to the change but luckily the senior class reacted with joyful enthusiasm. The school announced that this year’s graduation party will be held at Chuck-e-Cheese. Prep has promised that the entire Bellevue Chuck-e-Cheese will be rented out all night, allowing the seniors to run around with minimal lines for the desired games and that pizza will be provided.

And, as if this isn’t exciting enough, Prep has also offered each senior fifty free tokens. Though some might say that Chuck-e-Cheese is a place for children, the 2015 graduating class would disagree. Most of the seniors are anticipating this party with great excitement and say that it is the perfect way to end their high school career and four years at Prep. One senior, Bridget Keaton, even said that she is counting down the days until this party and said that the party “will be a total blast. They will have a hard time trying to make me leave because I will be having so much fun”. The senior class is looking forward to the chance to experience Chuck-eCheese in a whole new way, as graduated high school students rather than elementary school kids. Though met with some dislike, overall the majority of the school can agree that this crucial change in venue was a very good choice. The following senior classes can only hope to have a graduation party as fun as this year’s party is sure to be.


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Question Woman

seapreppanther.org April 1, 2015 Editor: Julia Piacentini ‘15

What is One Thing You Cannot Leave the House Without?

“Harry Potter Wand” - Georgi Grimm‘15

“Shovel” - Mrs. Wyatt

“Jet Ski” - Olivia Smith and Carrington James ‘17

“My Phone” - William King‘18

“Boat” - Travis Kroeger ‘17

“Dinosaur” “Dolphin Saddle” - Barrett Fanning ‘15 - Daniel Sullivan ‘16

“Matthew McConaughey”

- Jarrid Nakata ‘17

“Fully Equipped Airplane” - Alejandra Gutierrez ‘15

“A Golf Club” - Rachel Dickinson ‘16

“Chocolate Milk Swimming Pool” - Blake Kain‘18

“Sunscreen” - Mrs. Dold


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