Searcy Living - Issue 1 2019

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2 Your Hometown Magazine

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6 Your Hometown Magazine

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issue 1 volume 19

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Elliott Foundation Resource Guide 35 Resource Guide Listings 36 Shining A Light 38 Mental Benefits Of Exercise 40 Good Grief 42 How To Find A Therapist 44 When Making A Peanut Butter Sandwich Is Too Much To Bear 46 Tragedy Does Not Define Who I Am 49 I Think I Have Depression Now What?

52 Birds Bathing In A Mud Puddle 54 Post Partum Depression 56 Jesse Dylan James Foundation 58 Tragedy And Triumph 60 7 Questions To Ask When Considering Foster Care 64

Publisher’s Note 10 Over The Counter 14 Financial Focus 16 We The People 18 Imagine And Believe 68 Fab DIY 76 Dinner And A Magazine 78 Crossword And Riddles 80

Marilyn Elliott & Grandchildren (L-R) emma elliott jessica bennett marilyn elliott robert bennett arden elliott Photo by Arden Elliott

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The Gift of Not Understanding

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ecently (actually today, as in the day I wrote this) I attended a funeral service for an infant. It is so hard to understand those situations, and there are no words that seem appropriate to convey to the family. But the minister that led the graveside service mentioned that not long ago his family had been in a similar situation. And then he said something impactful that I cannot get off of my mind: That sometimes we have to accept that understanding is not what we can achieve in all situations; that acceptance without understanding is, at times, what our faith has to produce. That statement hit me hard, as I am always one to look for a reason, a connection, or some logical explanation for most any situation. However, the theme of this issue in many ways is an extension of that thought.

The inception of this issue came about last fall when Kimberly Brackins, Director of the Elliott Foundation, contacted me with a request for an issue they felt would help many people and shed some light on hope in hopeless situations. Proceeding with trust in this organization, I agreed. Searcy Living is here for many purposes: to inform, entertain, support the community, highlight small town living, encourage, and yes, share hope.

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The Elliott Foundation submitted most of the articles in this issue. When they sent me the first two to approve, I was amazed at how well they fit our Searcy Living ‘style’. They are stories about everyday people in our own communities who suffered a loss of hope and meaning in their lives, yet found their way back and now want to share their hope with others. It is inevitable in life that we all will face seasons of grief and loss at some point in time. Many go through deeper waters than others, but life is never smooth sailing all the way. And I know that the timing of this issue with the content at hand is meant especially for someone.

Thank you as always for reading Searcy Living. I hope that this issue sparks a bit a happiness, gives hope, and maybe reconciles the gift of not understanding.

remember

the extras

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Publisher Christine Walker Customer Service Dorjeanne Bechhoefer Art Director & Webmaster Garrett Johnson Editorial Assistant Cherie Sewell Makeover Coordinator Evelyn Moss

Contributing Independent Photographers Kimberly Brackins (501)279-1515 George Dillin (501)268-9304 Taylor Howard Photography (870)917-8012

Feature Writer Cecelia Wilson

Searcy Living Locally Owned and Operated 812 South Main Street Searcy, AR 72143 searcyliving@yahoo.com (501) 368-0095 SearcyLiving.com For subscription information go to SearcyLiving.com

Copyright 2019 Shark Promotions LLC. Searcy Living, Cabot Living, and Your Hometown Magazine are trademarks of Shark Promotions. All rights reserved. Ownership, rights, and logos are property of their respected businesses. No part may be reproduced without written permission. Shark Promotions LLC is not responsible for claims, misprints, discrepancies, advice of any kind, or content in advertisements or editorials, but will rectify errors in forthcoming issues.

Copyright Š 2019 Shark Promotions LLC

Searcy Living Magazine is a subsidiary of Shark Promotions LLC.

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Over the Counter Harding University College of Pharmacy

Has Juul Fooled You? Written by Rob Welch and Russell Ward, 2019 PharmD Candidates 2019 at Harding University College of Pharmacy; Julie Kissack, Pharm.D., BCPP; Melissa Shipp, Pharm.D., BCPS; Lana Gettman, Pharm.D.

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n September 12th, 2018, FDA commissioner Scott Gottlieb called “electronic cigarette (“e-cigarette”)” use among youth an epidemic. Many different forms of e-cigarettes also known as e-cigs exist.

The e-cig contains nicotine. Risk and dangers of nicotine exposure to e-cigs are significant including nicotine dependence. One e-cig is known by the name of JUUL, and it is difficult to recognize it as a nicotine product. JUUL sales account for nearly 50% of the e-cigarette market.

Adult smokers mistakenly believe that e-cigarettes are a useful tool to decrease or stop smoking. E-cigs can be purchased legally by those 18 years or older. Youth easily obtain e-cigs despite being younger than 18 years old. Up to 80% of users between the ages of 15-24 who try an e-cig once continue using them. Even though e-cigarettes should not be sold to those under the age of 18 years, JUUL use in middle and high school-aged is high.

What exactly is a JUUL? JUUL is an electronic cigarette device that resembles a USB flash drive, making it appear harmless and easy to conceal. As shown in the picture, JUUL uses cartridges called “pods.” Each pod contains roughly 50 milligrams of nicotine, approximately equal to the amount of nicotine in 20 cigarettes (1 pack). These “pods” come in a variety of attractive sounding flavors such as “mango,” “fruit medley,” and “cool mint.” A battery-powered element heats the liquid in the cartridges to produce a vapor or “smoke.” By inserting a JUUL into a USB port for one hour it will be fully charged. A person using one pod can inhale up to 200 puffs. The inhaled vapor or “smoke” may contain potentially harmful metals, toxins, and flavoring additives.

What are the risks?

Ultrafine particles inhaled from a JUUL may cause serious lung problems that make breathing difficult and could cause heart disease. Misleadingly, the substance that comes out of the e-cigarette appears to be water vapor or smoke. However, it is made up of nicotine and toxins that are harmful to the smoker, the environment, and innocent bystanders.

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The JUUL appears harmless. Fruity flavors and trendy names appeal to teenagers influencing them to think that JUULs are a safe alternative to smoking. However, JUUL users are often unaware that each pod contains more nicotine than traditional cigarettes. A chemical formulation permits extremely high amounts of nicotine to be inhaled from the JUUL. The amount of inhaled nicotine from JUUL is higher than from inhaling a traditional cigarette.

Nicotine use in children and adolescents is harmful to the developing brain. Both attention and mood problems may occur in children and youth exposed to nicotine. Exposure to the extremely high levels of nicotine contained in products like JUUL, at an early age may cause nicotine dependence and other problems that last a lifetime.

What can you do?

First, you can do your research. Learn about the different e-cigs, including JUUL. Recognize what the products look like, along with slang terms associated with them (i.e., Vaping, Juuling). Second, take some time to talk to children/youth about the dangers of using e-cigarettes. Clearly state that there is no safe form of nicotine to use including cigarettes, smokeless tobacco, or e-cigarettes. Remind them that the legal age for purchasing tobacco products is eighteen years. This law also applies to e-cigarettes like JUUL. Lastly, allow time for your loved one to ask questions. Let them know that you are always available to answer questions they have now and in the future.

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Financial Focus:

Review Your

Fixed-Income Strategy As Interest Rates Rise When interest rates rise, the value of your fixed-

income investments, such as bonds, will typically fall. If this happens, how should you respond?

First of all, it’s important to understand this inverse correlation between interest rates and bond prices.

Essentially, when interest rates rise, investors won’t pay you full price for your bonds because they can purchase newly issued ones that pay higher rates. So, if you sell your bonds before they mature, you could lose some of the principal value.

You may be seeing a price drop among your bonds right now, because interest rates generally rose in 2018 and may continue to do so in 2019. While you might not like this decline, you don’t necessarily have to take any action, particularly if you’re planning to hold these bonds until maturity. Of course, you do have to consider credit risk – the chance that a portion of the principal and interest will not be paid back to investors – but unless the bond issuers default, which is usually unlikely, particularly with investment-grade bonds, you can expect to receive the same regular interest payments you always did, no matter where rates move.

Holding some of your bonds – particularly your longer-term ones – until they mature may prove useful during a period of rising interest rates. Although long-term bond prices – the amount you could get if you were to sell these bonds – tend to fall more significantly than short-term bond prices, the actual income that longer-term bonds provide may still be higher, because longerterm bonds typically pay higher interest rates than shorter-term ones.

To preserve this income and still take advantage of rising interest rates, you may want to construct a “bond ladder” consisting of short-, intermediate- and longer-term bonds. Because a ladder contains bonds with staggered maturity dates, some are maturing 16 Your Hometown Magazine

and can be reinvested – and in a risingrate environment such as we’re currently experiencing, you would be replacing maturing bonds with higher-yielding ones.

As is the case with all your investments, however, you must evaluate whether a bond ladder and the securities held within it are consistent with your objectives, risk tolerance and financial circumstances.

You can build a bond ladder with individual bonds, but you might find it easier, and perhaps more affordable, to own bond-based mutual funds and exchangetraded funds (ETFs) that invest in bonds.

Many bond funds and ETFs own a portfolio of bonds of various maturities, so they’re already diversified.

Building a bond ladder can help you navigate the rising-rate environment. But you also have another incentive to continue investing in bonds, bond funds or ETFs – namely, they can help diversify a stockheavy portfolio. If you only owned stocks, your investment statements would probably fluctuate greatly – it’s no secret that the stock market can go on some wild rides.

But even in the face of escalating interest rates, bond prices generally don’t exhibit the same sharp swings as stocks, so owning an appropriate percentage of bonds based on your personal circumstances can help add some stability to your investment mix.

As an investor, you do need to be aware of rising interest rates, but as we’ve seen, they certainly don’t mean that you should lose your interest in bonds as a valuable part of your investment strategy.

This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor.

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Crosspointe Excels in

Arkansas state FLL tournament

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ome CrossPointe families recently had an exciting weekend representing CrossPointe. We had two of our students, Chase Kemper and Bri Mahoney, who represented CrossPointe in the White County Spelling Bee held at Harding University. Both students studied hard to do their best in the competition. Neither advanced out of their grade bracket but both did well. Kudos to Mrs. Thompson who helped the students prepare by working with them after school each day. Well done Chase and Bri. In addition, our robotics team, the CrossBots, competed in the Arkansas state FIRST LEGO® League (FLL) tournament and I asked Coach Bradshaw to fill us in on the details. The following is from Coach Bradshaw: The CrossBots had an amazing weekend of robots, snow and trophies at the Arkansas state FLL tournament held at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville.

After two intense days of robot performance competition and two rounds of presenting our robot design/code, project and core values to various judges including intense Q&A sessions to defend our presentations - the CrossBots walked away as Arkansas 1st place state champions and were awarded the Global Innovation Award! Placing first earns us the honor to represent Arkansas at the FIRST Worlds Festival, held in Houston, with 91 FLL teams from around the world. With all of the FIRST robotic programs represented, there will be an estimated 35,000 team members and spectators attending the championship!

There will be an expo, university scouts and tech companies/tech celebrities attending (aka Geek/Nerd heaven!)

The Global Innovation Award is equally impressive. Our project showed so much promise, we have been asked to submit our research, solutions and schematics to be considered for selection of 20 semi-finalists. The semi-finalists will be mentored by professionals in business/product development, assigned a blogger to follow their journey, become FIRST ambassadors and invited to compete for two $5,000 grants and one $20,000 grant the team may either use to further their product development or enhance their robotics program.

Thanks so much to our CrossPointe family for cheering us on and supporting us with our research in fluid shift and volume loss in a microgravity environment.

Huge shout out to the team parents, Dr. Brooks and the Linderman family for their surprise visit right before we went into our second round of judging - such a morale booster! Thanks be to God for the talents He gives and abundant life we have though Him! Thanks to the CrossBots and their supportive families for leaning in when it is difficult, growing their God given talents and shining the light of Jesus wherever they go!

Well done CrossBots. You can personally give a hi-five to team members Luke Bradshaw, Cagle Davis, Hayden Ellis, Lola Madden, Zoe Madden, Tyler Risk, Harmon Sawrie, and Jackson Stewart. Thank you student mentors Matthew Abbot and Sarah Wyatt. A huge Kudos to Coach Bradshaw and her assistant Mrs. Sawrie for all the work they have done to prepare the students for this accomplishment.

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Unity Health Cardiologists

Heart Awareness

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Searcy School District

National Signing Day Searcy School District is excited to announce that we have several student athletes signing with colleges or universities!

Signees include: Tanner Thomas - Henderson State University, football Trystan Alcorn - Henderson State University, football Peyton Wright - Arkansas State University, football Keleigh Solida - Cowley College, volleyball Megan Woodle - Southern Arkansas University, barrel racing Joseph Oliver - Harding University, soccer Ryan Tillery - Williams Baptist University, wrestling Gibby Ramirez - Harding University, soccer

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ASU-Beebe’s John Deere Agriculture Technology program recently won the 2018 “College of Tomorrow” Award from John Deere. Pictured, from left: Shawn Taillon, Department Head and Instructor; Jacob Ashcraft; Tre Maxwell; Jacob Kayser; Luke Skipper; Norman Collins; AJ McClung; Hunter James; Kyle Nance; Braeden Beliew; Craig McCoy; Kiylin Taylor; Eric Vargas; Kenvonte Jackson; Daniel Noble; Nickolus Kearns; Cody Stroud; Cole Brumley; Alex Hughes; Stephen Yokley, Instructor; and Michael Bonecutter.

Article and photo by Kelsey McGraw

ASU-Beebe: John Deere Ag Tech Program Earns Award

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rkansas State University-Beebe’s John Deere Agriculture Technology program won the 2018 “College of Tomorrow” Award from John Deere, earning the highest ranking of Platinum for the fourth year in a row.

The John Deere College of Tomorrow Award is a prestigious honor given to John Deere training programs across the nation.

Rankings of Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum may be awarded to programs, with Platinum reserved for only those with the most exceptional programs. The programs are evaluated and graded on a number of factors including internship communications and connections to businesses.

The prize includes $1,000 for program scholarships; one of the program’s instructors receives a week of paid training at one of John Deere’s facilities to learn new technology and equipment; a plaque, a John Deere TECH College of Tomorrow jacket and a crystal trophy.

In addition, John Deere annually provides money for scholarships to the most outstanding students in the program.

Combined with the $1,000 from the College of Tomorrow award, roughly $4,000 in scholarship money will be given back to the students to reward their hard work.

ASU-Beebe Agriculture Technology department head Shawn Taillon is proud of what the agriculture technology program has accomplished. When asked what he believed was the deciding factor in the program’s success, Taillon pointed to the worktype environment they have built for ASU-Beebe’s John Deere students.

“We look to give off a dealership vibe,” said Taillon. “When students graduate, they’ll be prepared to enter the workforce.”

“Our facilities are the turning point,” Taillon explained. “ASUBeebe has been very good to our program; when we needed something, we got it. Our facilities and image are professional, such as our inventory storage, outdoor signage, our offices. We have great backing here from ASU-Beebe.”

Taillon said he is excited about the opportunities earning this award presents, especially in changing public attitude about what being in agriculture technology means.

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“It brings awareness. When you say we teach John Deere, you think ‘Wow, the tractor program.’ When we say we won the Platinum John Deere College of Tomorrow Award, we gain recognition and a more prestigious air.”

The John Deere Ag Tech program is one of several unique programs offered at ASU-Beebe, with on-campus learning and hands-on educational experiences giving students the knowledge and skills necessary to succeed in their field. Instructors are corecertified John Deere service technicians who receive regular training on advancements in the industry, making them quite literally the cream of the crop.

While the John Deere program can be rigorous for students, it is also incredibly rewarding. Through the courses offered during the two-year program, students earn 60 credit hours with ASU-Beebe toward their Associate of Applied Science Degree in Agriculture Equipment Technology. They also earn credits with John Deere University, an advantage for students when they graduate.

Taillon says he loves what the program can do for students.

“We are a program that takes a student who wouldn’t typically go to college, and we are teaching them a mechanical trade that can help them get work. Our students can make an average of $37,000 a year plus bonuses and commissions. We have a lot of go-getters who are at the top of their game. They work hard and build up those relationships with farmers. They learn a skill, get a degree, and become fine young adults,” continued Taillon. “As an instructor, it’s great to be a part of that.”

There are 16 John Deere training programs across the U.S. competing for this award annually. ASU-Beebe takes great pride in the John Deere Ag Technology program being ranked as the #1 John Deere program in the nation.

For more information on the John Deere Ag Tech program or other ASU-Beebe programs offered, call (501) 882-8860, or view the ASU-Beebe website at www.asub.edu.

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Free Running/Walking Clinic For Ladies Begins

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ave you always wanted to walk, start running, or if you are already running – run faster and longer?

Join the Searcy Clinic for Women Run Arkansas. You will train throughout this 10 week clinic and will be able to complete the graduation event, which is a 5K (3.1 miles) at the end of the clinic.

The Women Run Arkansas Running/Walking Club is hosting the 22nd annual Women Can Run running and walking clinics, and we will be joining them by having a clinic in Searcy. Our clinic will begin on March 4, 2019 at 5:30 p.m. and will meet at the Searcy High School’s Lion Stadium.

The 10-week training clinics are for beginners as well as intermediate and advanced runners and walkers and will culminate with a 5K run/walk graduation event on May 11th in Conway. By the end of the training clinic each participant will be able to run, run/walk or walk a 5K (3.1 miles). Each clinic meets twice a week.

We do not charge for the clinic training; however, there is a $25 fee for the 5K graduation event, which is the goal of the clinic participants. The $25 covers your entry for the 5K, which will also include a dri fit shirt, medal, and other goodies. The $25 is used to help cover the expense of the clinics and the 5K

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event, plus a portion of every entry is donated to a charitable organization of the club’s choice. All WRA Board Members, Clinic Directors and Leaders volunteer their time for the 10 week training period.

Come on and join in the fun with other ladies learning to walk and run. You will make new friends and possibly meet someone to walk and run with on a continuous basis, even after the training period and 5K. This is your opportunity to do something for yourself and start a lifestyle that will benefit you the rest of your life.

You can pre-register for the Clinic on-line at the Women Run Arkansas website www.womenrunarkansas.net or at the first night of your clinic session.

Or contact Cassandra Feltrop at 501.388.2645 for additional information.

The Women Run Arkansas Running/Walking Club is an RRCA (Road Runners Club of America) club and is dedicated to promoting healthy living among women through running and walking activities. Additional information is available on our website www.womenrunarkansas.net.

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Unity Health

Kids Triathl on

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nity Health is excited to announce their role as the presenting sponsor of a kids triathlon in Searcy. On Saturday, May 11, 2019 the Searcy Swim Center will be the site of this unique event. The Unity Health Kids Triathlon will allow children ages 6-17 to learn about, and participate in, this growing and exciting sport.

Triathlon combines a swim, a bike ride, and running, to create a very intense sporting event. Chad Price, the Director of the Searcy Swim Center and Searcy Shark ATAC swim team, is pleased to be the director of this new race in Searcy. Chad has a vision of creating an entire weekend of athletic events at the swim center, creating an awareness of the benefits available at our new swim center. Triathlon is a very family friendly sport, which promotes an extremely healthy lifestyle. The event will benefit a local child wellness effort, and The White County Child Safety Center has been selected as this year’s charity. Our pool and transition areas will be staffed with Certified Lifeguards, NorthStar EMS, and Unity Health Medical. Our bike and run courses will be closed to traffic during the race, and will be patrolled by the Searcy Police Department and at least 50 volunteers. Children ages 6-8 will swim one length of the pool, ride their bikes 2.25 miles, and run .75 miles.

Ages 9-10 swim 2 lengths of the pool, then also bike 2.25 miles, and run .75 miles. Ages 11-17 will swim 4 lengths of the pool (100 yds), bike 4.5 miles, and run 1.5 miles. Registration is $30 through May 3, by visiting racesonline.com, and searching for Unity Health Kids Triathlon. Come out and TRI it !!!

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Chevy Owner is Kim Tripp

Thank you to our sponsor,

The Fish Bowl for providing the prize!

2117 E Race Ave Searcy, AR (501) 279-2995

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Congratulations

Congratulations

Congratulations to SHS volleyball player Morgan Feltrop for signing to play collegiate volleyball at Williams Baptist University! Morgan is the daughter of Frankie and Cassandra Sample Feltrop. The SHS volleyball team is coached by Coach Mandy Emberson. Morgan is the very first SHS volleyball player to sign to play collegiately.

We are so proud of Morgan and her dedication to her sport and her academics, and we wish her the very best in her future!

Searcy Lions called the Hogs at Senior Drew Vest’s collegiate signing. Vest is the son of Dr. Carl Vest and Catherine Vest. On National Early Signing Day Vest signed to play football with the Arkansas Razorbacks as a preferred walk-on. Vest headed to the Hill recently with 15 hours of college credit that he earned through SHS programs.

Congratulations Drew! Searcy School District is proud of you and wishes you the very best!

~ Searcy Public Schools Congratulations to the following students for placing in the FBLA Spring District Competition at UCA! Grant Pace, 2nd place in Accounting 1; Bethany Ellis, 1st place in Public Service Announcement; Karrisa Neal, 2nd place in Agribusiness; Nathan Sawyers, 4th place in Personal Finance; not pictured: Lucas O’Neal, 1st place in Business Law Each of these students will compete at the FBLA State Leadership Conference in April.

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Branson

Vacation Rental $89.00-$149.00 per night!

Great Colorful Decor at this Branson Fall Creek 2BDR, 2Bath Condo. Conveniently located near Lake Taneycomo, Table Rock Lake and the excitement of the Branson strip. Loft design keeps the feel open and the fully equipped kitchen gives you the opportunity to eat in and enjoy home cooking and the savings of not eating out every meal. Next time you are headed for Branson, go to the link below to view seasonal rates and for booking.

Plan your Branson getaway in this 2 bedroom 2 bath condo priced at $89.00-$149.00 per night!

P rop e rt y w e b a d d r e s s :

itrip.net/branson-vacation-rental/Penthouse-Fall-Creek-2-BDR-55-8

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Resource Guide Information Arkansas Family Care Associates 505 S. Elm, Suite C Searcy, AR 72143 (501) 712-3392 ejwillis21@gmail.com arkansasfamilycare.com Relational & Individual Counseling/ Hope Restored Laurie Swain, LCSW, MBSR Teacher 501.205.4068 100 East Pleasure Ave., Searcy, AR laurie.swain@sbcglobal.net www.laurieswain.com Mindful Psychotherapy, Stress Reduction & Coaching Families, Inc. Counseling Services 501.305.2359 877.595.8869 (Toll free & after hours) 1507 E. Race Ave., Searcy, AR info@familiesinc.net www.familiesinc.net Outpatient Mental Health Services in the home, school or office Central Arkansas Veterans Healthcare System Searcy Community Outpatient Clinic Jeff Pulliam, LCSW Luke Gower, RN Dezra Eichorn, APRN Gina Head, MSA 501.207.4700 1120 S. Main, Searcy, AR Mental Health Medication Management Services, Case Management, Individual and Group Therapy The Bridgeway 21 Bridgeway Road North Little Rock, AR 72113 501.771.1500 www.thebridgeway.com Inpatient Services for Children, Adolescents, Adults & Older Adults Outpatient Services including Partial Hospitilization, Intensive Outpatient and Outpatient ECT Alcohol and/or Drug Detoxification Inspiration Day Treatment 501.221.1941 11700 Kanis Rd. Suite 2 Little Rock, AR 7221 www.indaytrt.com Individual Therapy, Group Therapy, Recreational Day Services ARminds Matter 501.944.8653 1700 Kanis Rd. Suite 2 Little Rock, AR 7221 www.armindsmatter.org Mental Health, Advocacy, Stigma Reduction 36 Your Hometown Magazine

The STARR Coalition 501.944.8653 11700 Kanis Rd. Suite 2 Little Rock, AR 72211 www.thestarr.org Clinical Research Advocacy, Collaboration MidSouth Health Systems 870.919.6320 24 Hour Crisis 800.592.9503 111 W. Booth Searcy, AR www.mshs.org Comprehensive Community Mental Health Awaken Counseling & Evaluation 501.278.4656 100 S. Spring Street www.awakenservices.com smcknight@awakenservices.com Comprehensive Psychological Evaluations for Children & Adults Rhonda Ingram, LPC PLLL 501.230.0600 405 W. Arch Ave., Suite 1 Searcy, AR www.rhondaingramlpc.wixsite.com rhonda.ingram.lpc@gmail.com Depression/Anxiety, Interpersonal Relationships, Grief Counseling Master of Divinity Degree I’m a 10 Wellness Center 501.593.6997 904 East Race Street Searcy, AR www.imatenwellnesscenter.com ima1011c@yahoo.como Individual, Family & Group Therapy, Neurofeedback, Meditation, Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Anger, Co-dependency Hannah Brownfield, LPC, LLC 501.424.0772 405 W. Arch St. Searcy, AR See profile at www.psychologytoday.com Specializes in Women’s Health Including: Infertility, Miscarriage & Post-Partum Depression/Anxiety The Regroup Counseling 501.279.1191 106 South Spring, Searcy, AR www.regroupcounseling.com admin@regroupcounseling.com Certified Trauma Therapists; Certified Multiple Addiction Therapists; Specialize in trauma, addiction, PTSD, anxiety, depression, grief Mercer Counseling Center Marcy Mercer, LAC, LAMFT 501.380.7620 1635 E. Beebe-Capps, Searcy, AR marcy@mercercounselingcenter.com Marriage & Family Counseling, Adults, Teens, Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Eating Disorders, Anger, Career Counseling, Grief

Unity Health—Clarity Health and Wellness Center 501.203.0055 2908 Hawkins Drive, Searcy, AR Psychiatrists Dr. Ronald Wauters Dr. Herman Clements Dr. Roger Wooten Jeffrey Rains, MD 100 E. Pleasure, Searcy, AR 501.305.4068 Harding University Marriage and Family Therapy Clinic McInteer Building Market Street, Searcy, AR Harding’s MFT Clinic is a full-service clinic staffed by the students in the MS MFT Program supervised by Licensed Supervisors.

Individual, Marriage & Family Therapy $10 fee per session

Quapaw House, Inc. 3302 E. Moore Ave., Searcy, AR 501,268-4181 (Searcy Outpatient Clinic) 501.268.7777 (Wilbur Mills Residential Treatment Center) info@quapawhouseinc.org www.quapawhouseinc.org Behavioral Health Services including Outpatient Treatment for Mental Health and Substance Use Disorders; Residential Treatment Available for Substance Use Disorders.

Every effort was made to include as much information as possible in this list of resources. If you represent an agency that is not listed, please contact the Elliott Foundation at 501.278.4357 and we will make sure you are included in future resource guides.

Kenosis, LLC 501-593-0745 100 S. Spring St. Searcy, AR jmadill@kenosisllc.com www.kenosisllc.com Trauma, EMDR and brain spotting, anxiety and depression addictions

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Shining a Light T h e D r. Ro be r t E . E lliot t F ounda t ion

By Kimberly Brackins, Executive Director

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hen Dr. Leigh Anne Bennett announced to her Eighteen years later, the Foundation is still very active in the radiologist father that she would pursue a psychiatry community and is always seeking new ways to provide hope to residency, he didn’t understand. “I just think it would be so those struggling with mental illness or suffering from the loss hard,” he said to her. Signs of Dr. Robert Elliott’s depression of a loved one to suicide. Two monthly support groups offered had already begun to surface. A short while later he affirmed are Survivors of Suicide and Travelers (a depression support her choice by saying, “I get it now. I think I understand.” group). The Foundation works with schools, businesses and other Before Bennett’s psychiatry residency was completed, her organizations by providing educational programs on topics such father had died by suicide in January, 2001. as suicide prevention and antibullying. Last fall, the Foundation Elliott was a lifelong son of Searcy, and throughout his life brought the movie, “Screenagers,” to Searcy and provided a free he served the community through volunteerism and medical viewing for teens and parents to educate about the dangers of practice. He was a leader in excessive screen time and bringing mammography to how it affects our children.

Searcy and became widely For the past two years, known as an expert in the the Foundation presented diagnosis of breast cancer. scholarships to five students He was instrumental enrolled in a master’s level in bringing CARTI to or higher degree program Searcy. He was loved and in a mental health field. respected by family, friends Each summer, the Elliott Foundation sponsors and employees, and one the “Understanding of his former employees Depression Seminar.” still serves on the Elliott The seminar is open to Foundation board. Shortly the public and designed after Dr. Elliott’s death, to bring information on Bennett, along with her mental health topics to the mother, Marilyn, and community.

Continuing brother, Mark, gathered education credits for with friends and family in social workers, counselors, search of a way to honor pharmacists, his memory. Consideration The Elliott Family, l-r: Alan and Leigh Anne Bennett, Marilyn Elliott, and Mark nurses, Elliott the night Dr. Elliott was inducted into the Searcy High School Hall of teachers and physicians was given to focusing on Honor. (Photo Credit: John Baker Photography) are available. Over 100 breast cancer research professionals received six and care because of his expertise in this area. However, all ultimately agreed that the most hours of continuing education after completing this year’s seminar, appropriate cause was increasing awareness and knowledge of which was sponsored by a grant from Entergy. Dr. Bennett was one of six speakers this year, presenting the most current information mental health issues in order to prevent suicide.

The Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation was formed, and the board on postpartum depression.

The Elliott Foundation is funded through two main events—the quickly began their mission to educate people about depression and to reduce the stigma associated with seeking help. This resulted in Stride to Prevent Suicide 5K Race which will be April 6 in the free depression screenings, a resource line to call, and educational spring and the annual fall “Shine a Light” celebration and benefit auction scheduled for September 26. We are fortunate to have the programs presented to civic and church groups.

38 Your Hometown Magazine

“There is no ‘stigma’ in the Elliott family, and they lead by example in sharing their struggles and listening to others.”

continued support of businesses and families in the community who remember Dr. Elliott and want to honor him. They are faithful to provide sponsorship of our events, send donations, and serve on the board of directors.

This year’s 5K race will be Saturday, April 6, at Spring Park. Many people attend to walk or run in remembrance of a lost loved one.

Registration is available for the race on our website for individuals or teams at www.elliottfoundation.com.

Marilyn Elliott, Leigh Anne Bennett and Mark Elliott continue as honorary non-voting board members. Dr. Bennett, who practices at Arkansas Psychiatric Clinic, is quick to share that she had struggled herself with depression as a medical student. There is no “stigma” in the Elliott family, and they lead by example in sharing their struggles and listening to others. Their passion for our mission is still evident in conversations with them.

As the Foundation has evolved, more and more people are involved.

Some serve as board members, and many give time and money to help meet needs in our community. Our board is a wonderful, diverse group: some who knew Dr. Elliott personally, mental health professionals, survivors who have lost a loved one to suicide, and others who just volunteer their time to help the community.

I am one of the people who never knew Dr. Elliott. As the Executive Director, people often share with me stories of what a wonderful man and caring physician he was. I wish I had known him. Many times, while evaluating a program or event we have sponsored, my thoughts include Dr. Elliott. His standards were high, and I think about whether he would be pleased with our efforts in reaching his hometown and all of Arkansas with our message of hope and healing. I am so glad that Leigh Anne Bennett got to hear those affirming words from her father and mentor. “I get it now. I think I understand.” Hopefully, a time will come when we will all share a deeper understanding of mental illness.

To learn more about the Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation go to www.elliottfoundation.com or our page on Facebook.

Reach us at: 501.278.4357 drrelliottfdn@hotmail.com

Dr. Elliott receiving the American Cancer Society’s “Medical Volunteer of the Year” 1990

S tride t o Prevent Suicide

5 K Ra ce

This year’s 5K race will be Saturday, April 6, at Spring Park. Many people attend to walk or run in remembrance of a lost loved one or just to support the Foundation.

Registration is available for the race on our website for individuals or teams at www.elliottfoundation.com.

Following the Race will be our annual Memorial Butterfly Release for loved ones lost to suicide.

SearcyLiving.com 39

the

of Exercise

Mental Benefits

By Matt Calhoun Searcy Physical Therapy

E

xercise has been seen as a way to help improve mental health; however, many across the world find physical exercise has been an undervalued and underutilized tool. Only until more recently have mental health concerns been voiced and received funding for continued understanding of what exactly influences our thoughts, feelings and emotions. For purposes of this article referring to “mental health” is not strictly to a subset of plagued diseases witnessed in movies and podcasts. Mental health includes things all people face: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, mood swings and much more.

Exercise is a valuable player in the arena of mental health.

Exercise has been recommended by numerous organizations such as World Health Organization, American Psychology Association, and American College of Sports Medicine to name a few, in helping alleviate and reduce debilitating effects of mental illness. Everyone understands physical exercise is “good”, but what systems are influenced with exercise? How much should we expect exercise to help our mental health?

Exercise has been shown to alter our moods, emotions and selfesteem through pathways releasing chemicals such as serotonin and endorphins, which produce happiness.(4) These emotional changes from exercise can be felt for up to 4 hours after exercise is complete.(5) While this is a short duration of time, this “enhanced mood has a positive influence on quality of life including more social interaction, improved productivity, and better behavioral choices.”(1) Often, people are told to lose weight or change other biomarkers from our doctors to improve our overall health; however, these biomarkers can take weeks to months to change clinically significant levels. Michael Otto, PhD, 40 Your Hometown Magazine

“

While we all have different health journeys, each of us can enjoy the daily positivity and happiness increased physical activity brings, while improving adherence to an increased activity long term.”

a professor of psychology at Boston University, highlights the beauty of positive feelings from exercise as it “offers near-instant gratification...{we} would do well to tune into our mental state after exercise.”(6) While we all have different health journeys, each of us can enjoy the daily positivity and happiness increased physical activity brings, while improving adherence to an increased activity long term. Recently a new adjective has accompanied ‘exercise’ - green. Green exercise is activity in the presence of nature.(1) Environment enhances our experience at the movie theatre or in a restaurant and research is proving it is no difference with exercise.

Green exercise improved both mood and self-esteem when doing light activities for over 5 minutes(1) Activities included cycling, gardening, walking, fishing, boating, horseback riding, farming and sailing in the meta-analysis. Barton’s conclusion yielded we should strive to “undertake outdoor activities in both rural and urban environments,” with optimal green exercise incorporating “time near water side (e.g. beach or river) or participating in waterbased activities” which gave higher reports of well-being.(1)

In closing, there is not a cookie-cutter perfect dosage of exercise for us, rather guidelines to point us in the right direction allowing us to creatively find ways to move. Non-traditional exercise outside of a gym is just as important with mental health.

Many choose to garden, walk the dog or volunteer together at events with friends. Guidelines pooled from multiple research institutions advocate for 20-30 minutes of activity performed three to five times per week is beneficial to mental health and well-being.(3) Researcher Beverly D’Silva highlights exercise can be specific to moods we are experiencing at the time.

Her suggestions include: martial arts or self-defense training (depression), weight training and running (lack of self-esteem and confidence), boxing and tennis (anger/frustration), team sports (loneliness or poor social skills), mountaineering and outdoor activities (lack of spirituality), and dancing/yoga (flatness or creative blockages).(2) It matters less what you do, just get started!

Start the new year with activities that you enjoy and know they will improve your mental well-being!

“It matters less what you do, just get started!”

Matt Calhoun is a native of Searcy and graduate of Harding University’s Physical Therapy program.

After working in our clinic, Searcy Physical Therapy, Matt recently opened our Therapy First location in Paragould. For exercise, Matt enjoys lifting weights with his wife, Cameron, cycling and walking their dogs, Honey and Homer.

1. Barton, J., & Pretty, J. (2010). What is the Best Dose of Nature and Green Exercise for Improving Mental Health? A Multi-Study Analysis.

Environmental Science & Technology, 44(10), 3947-3955.

2. D’Silva, B. (2002, September 29). This sporting life. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2002/sep/29/shopping2 3. Callaghan,P (2004). Exercise: A neglected intervention in mental health care? Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing, 11(4), 476-483.

4. Morgan,W. (1985). Affective beneficence of vigorous physical activity.

Medicine and Science in Sports and Exercise, 17, 94-100.

5. Oglesby,C. A. (2003). Foundations of Exercise Psychology Berger B., Pargman D., and Weinberg R.. (2002). Copyright 2002 by Fitness Information Technology, Inc., PO Box 4425, University Avenue, Morgantown, WV 26502.The Sport Psychologist,17(2),244-245.

6. Weir, K. (2011). The exercise effect. PsycEXTRA Dataset, 42(11), 48.

SearcyLiving.com 41

Good

Grief

By Rusty Meadows Another definition of grief: Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. To get a good idea of some of the emotions associated with grief, see the graphic I’ve included that I’ve found very useful. I named a few things in the paragraph above that you may have never thought of as losses—retirement for instance. But if you consider how that changes a familiar pattern of behavior, you can see how it is true.

Think about some of the feelings you may now be experiencing or have experienced. Have you ever thought about how some of those emotions, which you may not even understand, could be the result of a recent loss or even a loss that happened many, many hat do you think of when you hear the years ago and you never really grieved the loss? Ok, let’s get into word “grief”? (I’ll give you a second to think some of the practical things that have helped us so much in our about it).... Most people’s minds usually go grieving process. to the thought of someone having died. And while that is First, give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that applicable, grief happens because of a wide variety of losses. you are feeling. Remember, grief (consisting of emotions) is I was made aware of this reality eight and a half years ago normal and natural. Have you ever said to yourself (or to someone when Nancy and I attended a Spark of Life Grief Recovery else), “You shouldn’t feel that way.”? I have, and before I knew Retreat. The things I learned at better, I have said that to Nancy. that retreat have helped me Who am I to tell someone else immensely as I deal with my how to feel?!? There are no wrong own grief. I’d like to share a emotions. Certainly, there are few of those things in this article. unpleasant emotions and feelings Much of this material is gleaned that I wish I didn’t have, but that from attending the retreat. doesn’t make them wrong. What Subsequently, after being asked can be wrong are my behaviors and to join the Spark of Life Team attitudes that result from certain as retreat facilitators, Nancy and feelings, but the emotion itself is I both became Certified Grief not wrong. Remember, we are Recovery Specialists through the made in His image and everything Grief Recovery Institute, which we feel, He feels. The point is included the use of The Grief this, if I begin to negatively judge Recovery Handbook by John myself or others regarding feelings, James and Russell Friedman. then allowing myself to grieve is Here are some things to think going to be very difficult. And if about, and I hope it helps you in I don’t grieve, those feelings are Pictured is the Meadows family on Mother’s Day, 2014. Nancy some small way. going to be “stuck” and will result One definition of grief: and Rusty Meadows with their children Justin, Anna & Amanda. in much unhappiness and even Grief is the normal and natural harmful consequences. reaction to loss of any kind. There are so many different types of Secondly, don’t expect others to grieve the same way you losses and sometimes we may fail to recognize an event as a loss. do, even if you share the same loss. Four years ago this week To name a few—moving, changing jobs, graduation, miscarriage, (as I am writing this article), our family experienced a terrible becoming empty-nesters, getting married, divorce, loss of a pet, loss when our son, Justin, died accidentally from mixed drug retirement, infertility, loss of a dream... the list could go on and intoxication. Justin had struggled with addiction for several years on. James and Friedman name at least 40 major losses we may and was also on mental health medications. One evening he used experience in a lifetime.

(Special note by the author: This issue of Searcy Living is devoted to the awareness and treatment of mental illness. The latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-5, has spawned controversy around the diagnosis of major depression after a devastating loss. We encourage you to realize that many of the common responses to grief do coincide with symptoms of major depression, as well as anxiety disorders. The presence of these symptoms does not necessarily mean one should be diagnosed with a disorder. Be aware of your feelings, understand how they are associated with your loss, and then seek professional help if the symptoms persist or increase in intensity.)

W

42 Your Hometown Magazine

“...if I don’t grieve, those feelings are going to be “stuck” and will result in much unhappiness and even harmful consequences.” an illicit substance and, according to the medical examiner, died from the mixture of the illicit substance and his medications. We lost a son (and, by the way, the losses began years earlier as our relationships changed, our dream of what our family would look like changed... examples of non-death losses). Our daughters lost their brother, his children lost their father, the types of losses are many. Using Nancy as an example, if I expected her to grieve in the same way that I grieved, it could create some huge problems, and vice versa. You see, even though we both lost a son, our relationship with him was different, and when the relationship is different, the grief will be different.

This is such an important point— don’t put your expectations of grief on someone else, and don’t allow them to put their expectations on you.

Thirdly, be aware of the myths about grief that many of us have bought into over the course of our lifetime. If we buy into these myths, it will hinder our ability to allow ourselves to grieve, and when that happens, we are stuck with the “incompletes” of a relationship— those things we wished had been different, better or more. Most of these myths are things that we learned early on and just accepted as truth. Some of them are: Don’t feel bad. Do you ever remember coming in from school and someone hurt your feelings somehow, or you skinned a knee, or any other thing that may have made you sad? You may have heard, “Don’t feel bad, have a cookie.” Or, “It’ll be ok, let’s go shopping.” The point is, we may do all kinds of things to cover up/over the bad feeling, but it’s still there.

Replace the loss. I remember one time when our goldfish died.

We conducted a proper goldfish funeral (flushing down the toilet) but soon went to get another goldfish. While that seems like a simple example, the theme can carry over to other things in life as we get older. We may focus on simply replacing what was lost and fail to grieve (process the associated emotions).

Grieve alone. Sometimes it is good to get away and have some solitude during a time of grief. But it can be detrimental to totally avoid others for a long period of time. I remember being told as a child, “if you are going to cry, go to your room.” Now this was told to me by my parents who were loving, caring and would never do anything to harm me. But if I hold onto the idea that others can never see me express my emotions, then, again, I’ll tend to stuff it and be stuck with it.

Grief just takes time, or, time heals all wounds. I know we’ve all heard this one, and if I were to buy into this myth I might think something is wrong with me when, after four years, I still miss our son terribly. If someone ever says to you, “It’s been a year, you need to move on now,” please restrain yourself from punching them and try to understand that they’ve bought into this myth.

While time may sometimes reduce the frequency or even intensity of the pain, it doesn’t take away the loss and associated grief.

Be strong for others. Some of us may be very good at this one, which in turn short-circuits our own grieving process. There are

times that I may need to “be strong” so that I can take care of necessary tasks that possibly someone else is not able to handle at the time. But if I continue to think that I must be the strong one, I never give myself opportunity or permission to grieve.

Keep busy. This myth is closely related to the previous one. So long as I can keep busy and occupy my mind with busy-ness, I won’t have time to give my feelings their place in my mind.

Please note that there is a distinction between grief and grieving.

Grammatically, “grief” is a noun, a thing that exists and is a part of all our lives because we all have loss. We cannot not experience grief. “Grieve” is a verb, an action to be taken. Whether or not we choose to do that in a healthy way is up to us. James and Friedman say that “recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever.” Some of those choices are: acknowledge the loss; give yourself permission to feel and to grieve; know that your grief doesn’t have to necessarily look like someone else’s. These things have helped me, Nancy and our girls as we are navigating life and the different losses we all experience.

I’ll close with a little more of our personal story regarding Justin and our family. Historically, as a society and in my own mind, there has been little understanding of addiction and its process as a disease. As a result, the tendency has been to place “those people” into a stereotypical “Grief — A Tangled Ball of category—drunks, junkies, stoners, Emotions” by H. and other labels of choice. I could Norman Wright never have imagined that one of our children would be a drug addict. I believe it was pride that kept me from being willing to open my mind to a clearer understanding of just what was happening to our son and our family. I came to that realization and understanding years ago, long before his death, and very slowly came to acceptance that I was not in control, though at times I tried to be, as evidenced by my co-dependent behaviors.

My encouragement to you is to educate yourself about your own or your loved one’s disorder and do everything you can to keep yourself healthy. Maybe that means you just need to grieve the loss that you are experiencing. Turn to God, turn to trusted friends, be totally honest with yourself and your feelings, and experience Good Grief.

Rusty Meadows, LPC, LADAC, is a Regional Administrator for Quapaw House, Inc., Recovery and Wellness Centers. He, along with his wife, Nancy, have lived in Searcy for over twenty-three years. They are active with New Life Church and enjoy spending time with their two daughters and their husbands. They also love being with their five grandchildren.

SearcyLiving.com 43

H o w To

By Dr. Stephanie Marlowe, PhD. MFT, LPC, CSAT, CMAT, EMDRII, BSPII

“Asking someone you trust who had experience in their own process of therapy is the most widely recommended.”

Find A Therapist

I

started my career working at an inpatient treatment center for adolescent males dealing with addiction. Part of my job was to hear their stories - not just diagnose and create a treatment plan, but really hear their story. One day I met this young man who was 16 and an IV heroin user. His parents were desperate. They had tried everything they knew to try. They sought therapy, grounded him from everything, and even tried rehab once before. He desperately needed help his parents could not provide. Part of my job included doctor to doctor reviews for insurance coverage. During this client’s doc to doc review I reported his PTSD, rapidly increased drug use from the age of 14, parental efforts to provide help, and two overdoses. At the end of the phone call I heard, “He does not fit the criteria for inpatient treatment.” I was speechless. I professionally repeated, “You are denying a 16 year old, daily IV heroin user, inpatient treatment.” She repeated herself, saying, “This level of treatment is denied.” Well, just like any southern female who becomes quite perturbed, my accent got thicker and I proceeded to clarify and strongly disagree with this decision. The lady suggested I recommend outpatient to his parents and, if that did not provide him the help he needed, then he could possibly meet criteria at that point. I had sat in the office with this young man and knew if he was allowed one more day without treatment he would not make it, that I was certain. This is not an article bashing insurance companies, because I could tell you stories of the opposite as well. It is, however, the moment I realized how important getting the right therapeutic treatment was for a person.

I had a friend recently ask how I would choose a therapist. I believe this is such a great question in finding the right treatment. I will explore four criteria I believe are important to understand in order to make this decision.

Therapist/counselor can have several identifiers such as licensing, degrees, and certifications. These can all be overwhelming if you’re not aware of their meaning. What’s important to understand about the licensing and degree is they are the foundation that guides the clinician.

Foundation is a theory, what supports the sub theories studied in that particular degree. The license indicates that a therapist/counselor has passed a board approved exam testing over the degree one holds. There are many degrees and licenses that allow one to be a therapist/counselor. Just to name a few: licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), licensed professional counselor (LPC), licensed professional clinical counselor (LPCC), licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), and licensed professional clinical counselor (LPCC). In summary, both degree and license is indicative of the foundation that a therapist or counselor operates when working with a client. To give one example, the LMFT operates from a systemic foundation. This lens of therapy approaches a client in a holistic approach. The client is a part of many systems internally and externally. Internally includes the body and the level of functioning or health of the body. Externally includes family of origin, current family, career, church, etc.

Every system impacts the mental well being of an individual. Each license and degree can be googled to find a quick explanation of what foundation each holds.

When a therapist/counselor has a certification it means it’s an additional training that person has received. To be certified in an area, one spends hours learning the topic and being supervised by an experienced clinician. I have certifications in addiction and trauma, which allows me to address both issues. I will use trauma and addiction as an example to explain why training in a specific area is important. I have had several clients, inpatient and outpatient, who have received therapy/counseling that has been harmful. When a client goes misdiagnosed, especially when dealing with

44 Your Hometown Magazine

addiction or trauma, the client is being treated in a manner that misses the origin of the symptoms. What an addiction or trauma trained therapist/counselor understands is that a client most of the time does not know they have trauma or an addiction. So this requires a therapist to be the expert, ask the questions, and know the signs. In the adolescent inpatient setting I worked, often during an assessment I would find that the client was being treated for ADHD by a previous clinician, however they had significant trauma in their past. ADHD looks very similar to PTSD in a child or adolescent. Treating PTSD with a stimulant will often make the behavior problems worse. In those particular assessments, I often found that the ADHD medicine was the gateway to their drug addiction. This example just points to the importance of finding a clinician trained in the area of the diagnosis.

Though the two criteria above are very important in finding help, word-of-mouth is the best way of finding a therapist. Asking someone you trust who had experience in their own process of therapy is the most widely recommended. These sources include your friends, family, pastor, and doctors. Once you find a therapist to begin your process it is important to shop face to face for one. It may take a few sessions to find someone that helps you to be comfortable in sharing your issue.

Research states that the relationship between therapist and client significantly impacts a client’s progress. Look for one who can find a balance of building trust and support while challenging patterns of behavior, beliefs, and thinking.

In Summary: 1. Understand the degree and license is indicative of the foundation that therapist or counselor was taught.

2. Certifications mark training in a specific area.

3. Referrals from a trusted source: family, friend, doctor, or pastor.

4. Your personal relationship with the therapist impacts progress: trust, support, challenge your behavior, beliefs, and thinking Dr. Stephanie Marlowe, PhD. MFT, LPC, CSAT, CMAT, EMDRII, BSPII

can find “Look for one who st and a balance of building tru g patterns support while challengin d thinking.� of behavior, beliefs, an

SearcyLiving.com 45

When Making a

Peanut Butter Sandwich is too much to bear

By Deanne Moore

I

n the laundry room, three baskets of clothes waited to be

folded. A knife covered in peanut butter lay in the sink with the breakfast dishes. The back door opened and shut as the kids came in and out to make their arguments about whose side I should take - or to outright tattle. I was a thirty-six-year-old mother living the American dream.

When I was in the tenth grade and the teachers asked if I wanted to take Home Economics, I declined. I never intended to be a stay-at-home mom, but life takes turns we don’t anticipate. I found myself living a life I never dreamed I could live. Married to a man who loved me, a busy pediatrician who could provide for our family, I was able to be home to care for our littles.

Life was good, very good. Until it wasn’t.

Days, weeks, and then months passed and the clothes no longer waited to be folded. Instead, they were piled in a heap on the floor waiting to be washed. The daily ritual of making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch was a task that seemed too much to bear. The normal banter between siblings set me on edge, often bringing me to tears. I was sinking, and sinking fast. I felt ashamed. How could I feel so low when I had everything most people would think would bring a person happiness?

I describe the woman I remember as “the woman I knew.” Eighteen years ago, I was living in the realities of clinical depression, the serious mental illness that relegates its sufferers to the shadow side of life.

My life outside the walls of my picture-perfect family revolved around leading the Board of Friends for Life, participating in ministries at church, and going on mission trips to Cuba to share my love for Jesus. But as the darkness deepened, all of those opportunities to serve my community, my church, and my world fell away. I couldn’t even serve my family.

Depression is no respecter of persons. Though difficulties can be a contributing factor, depression doesn’t always accompany difficult circumstances. The disease affects people who seemingly have life all lined out as well as those who don’t. No one is immune to that which is common to man. If we haven’t suffered from depression, we know someone who has.

Despite this, a great stigma continues to pervade the culture when it comes to admitting a diagnosis of mental illness.

46 Your Hometown Magazine

“Depression is no respecter of persons.

Though difficulties can be a contributing factor, depression doesn’t always accompany difficult circumstances.”

Depression’s first big punch is isolation. The shame associated with depression causes those suffering to hide. The hiding begins right out in the open with an intense need to keep the truth from others. Even close relatives and friends can be unaware of their loved one’s struggle.

In the days and months after I first started experiencing symptoms, I masked my mood, determined I would pull myself together. Tomorrow would be different. Morning after morning, I repeated my refrain until there was no longer any morning.

Depression took my sleep and then my appetite. My body began to shrink and my nerves began to frazzle. I was churning on the inside, but I lacked the energy to get up off the couch.

Later, I understood I was very sick.

In my mind, I wasn’t sick. I was bad, ungrateful, and inept.

I describe those dark days with the analogy of rolling up a ball of yarn. The yarn was my life and every day I tried wrapping life around itself. I was determined to keep it together. The more I tried to manage the depression and the anxiety that accompanied it, the more they took over. My frantic effort to control resulted in less control. My function from day to day was soon beyond my ability to manage. Finally, I could hide no more. I lost control of my ball of yarn and my life rolled out from under me.

The All-American mom, Bible teacher, and non-profit leader was found out. I was no longer able to hide. Being found out was the best thing that would ever happen to me. It enabled me to get the help that I wasn’t able to get for myself.

In this ‘salt of the earth’ community that we call home, we are people with names that go with faces. Because of the close-knit nature of our small town context, those who suffer mental illness fear being found out by their friends and neighbors, by those they sit beside at school or church. We don’t want to burden our friends with our pain. Yes, pain. The commercial is spot on, “depression hurts.”

When a mental illness becomes an issue in our lives, our families and friends are those who can help us get the help we need if we will risk the vulnerability of being known.

“When a mental illness becomes an issue in our lives, our families and friends are those who can help us get the help we need if we will risk the vulnerability of being known.”

I’ll admit I never really embraced such risk. My life quit working altogether. With great courage, my husband, my friends, and family intervened on my behalf. It was not easy for them to help me. I still wanted the ball. I had my preconceived ideas about how to escape the darkness. I was resistant to medicine at the beginning, wanting another way out. The truth was, I needed those medications as well as other therapies. Later, as the cloud began to lift, I acknowledged that medication and the inpatient treatment I received were necessary steps to finding my way back to the light.

SearcyLiving.com 47

“How grateful I am for all the many people who helped me find the way to the light.”

There are two reasons I am writing openly about my experience.

The first is, I know someone reading can relate to my story. Maybe you are thinking you were the only one feeling like you do, that no one would understand your pain? You have clicked the boxes on an online survey and it determined that you are likely suffering from depression. The site advised that you should see a doctor or tell someone what you suspect. You have made all kinds of excuses to yourself not to do so. None of them are good and you know it.

Now you are at a crossroad and are wondering if you can be brave.

My intent is to help you understand that your “ball of yarn” could roll out from under you. Don’t wait for that to happen. There is hope. It’s time to toss your ball to another and let them help you find your way. If the first person you ask fails to help, then try someone else. You are worth it.

The second reason I am sharing my story is that there are others who are reading my story who know someone who is struggling with depression. They may not have told you, but you’ve noticed they are disappearing from their normal activities. The light in their eyes is gone or they look away when you try to engage them in conversation. It’s difficult to put your finger on exactly what’s going on. It may be they are experiencing shame surrounding their mood, their lack of focus, or their dark thoughts. What you don’t know is they may feel unable to speak to anyone about what they are going through. When they’ve tried, their anxiety takes over and steals their words.

In my opinion, one of the major mistakes people suffering from depression make is believing others see their need for help. I encourage you to invest time with the person you love that seems distant. Make the uncomfortable move toward them and ask if they need to talk. Ask them about their lives and how they are coping. Listen more than you talk. If they are dealing with sadness or loneliness, then you’ve been a good friend, a good sibling, or a loving spouse. Their struggle may be more. If at all possible, help them get to someone who can professionally assess their needs.

The last of my three children was married in April. Jeff and I are settling into our empty nest. Our curly-haired granddaughters are now running in and out the back door. Every Tuesday, I hold my new grandson in the crook of my arm. We sing, read books, and feel the grass on the lawn. As I look back across the years, what I feared would define my life hasn’t been so. I was a broken woman whose life ran out from under her, who walked the cold halls of a lockdown unit and through a dark valley. I have found my way into the promised land. I am no longer ashamed or defined by my struggles. My journey through depression is only part of my story.

I’m back to making really awesome peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Here’s the thing about what I went through: So much of what fell away from my life has been restored. There are some things as I look back I would have done differently, but my perspective has changed with the passing of time. Good things can grow out of dark places. One of those things for me is the deep compassion I now have for everyone in the world who is suffering - those dealing with mental illness and otherwise. Beauty has risen out of the ashes.

How grateful I am for all the many people who helped me find the way to the light. I am also thankful for the opportunity to share my story. It’s a story I’m living all the way to the end.

Deanne Moore, known commonly in the Searcy community as Dea, is a writer and blogger. You can read Dea’s stories of faith and family at her website deamoore.com. Deanne dotes on her three grandchildren every chance she gets. She loves to cook for her family, walk mountain paths with her husband, Jeff, and is tapping out words in a book she hopes to offer her readers in a year (or two).

48 Your Hometown Magazine

N s e o o t Defin D y d e g a r e T

Wh

o I Am

By Dan Newsom

In his 1980 song, Beautiful Boy, John Lennon wrote, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” We all can identify with this statement. I know I certainly can. My life and that of my family changed drastically on July 11, 2003. That is the date that my sister, Sharon Hoyt, died by suicide.

It has been over 15 years since her death, but rarely a favorite Bible teachers, Dr. Neale Pryor, said that whenever we day goes by that I do not think of her. She was beautiful, face a difficult or tragic situation, think about all the times that intelligent, talented, loyal, kind, caring, and God has been there for you and ask, “Why do the most wonderful sister and friend.

I think that He will not be there for me now?”

The passing of time has helped heal some of That really impacted me and greatly helped me the rawness of the loss, but I still deal with it in healing from the loss of my sister. daily.

I will never forget Sharon. She was a very Over the years, I have learned several things important part of my life. But God has helped about surviving a tragedy such as this. I have me to see that I cannot let this tragedy define learned that I cannot let this tragedy define who me, and that I need to go on living and help I am. This tragedy is something I experienced those around me in whatever capacity I can. I and continue to deal with, but it does not define need to do what I can to help make the world me. I have learned that I must not dwell on a better place. what happened. Over time, I have learned to I am convinced that God gives us the reflect on it, learn from it, and grow from it. I strength to face and get through the tragedies have come to see that the way one lives is more of life, and that from these tragedies eventual important than the way one dies. good can come.

Romans 8:28 says that “all things work together for our eventual good, to those who Dan and Sharon love God, and to those who are called according to His purpose.” I had a difficult time with this “I am convinced that God gives us the passage of scripture for quite a while after my sister’s death. I strength to face and get through the tragedies couldn’t see how anything good could come from such a tragedy. of life, and that from these tragedies eventual But now, as I look back, I believe that this huge loss has helped develop me into a more caring and sensitive person who looks to good can come.” help others and attempts to make our community a better place.

For several years I served on the board of the Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation and was able to assist several families who suffered a loss like the loss our family suffered. Even though I no longer Dan Newsom currently serves as the Executive serve on the Elliott Foundation board, I still try to reach out to Director of the White County Single Parent Scholarship families who have suffered a similar tragedy. I honestly don’t Fund, Inc. Previously, he worked for 33 years with the think I would have become involved with the White County Social Security Administration, retiring as District Single Parent Scholarship Fund, Inc. had this event not happened Manager in Searcy. Dan also serves as Vice Chair of in my life. I have now served as Executive Director of WCSPF, the Board of Trustees for Crowley’s Ridge College Inc. for 9 years. This work has blessed my life richly as we strive in Paragould. Dan and his wife, Barbara, have lived to make a difference in the lives of our single parent families here in Searcy since 1987. They are active members of the in White County. My loss changed my perspective on what is College Church of Christ, where Dan serves as an Elder. important. It helped me see the importance of giving back and Dan and Barbara love spending time with their daughter making a difference in the lives of others. and her family in Frisco, TX. I have come to realize that God gives us tremendous strength to deal with difficult situations that happen in our lives. One of my SearcyLiving.com 49

T

he Board of Directors of the Dr. Robert Elliott Foundation and the Elliott Family would like to thank Searcy Living Magazine for helping us bring this information to the community. There are so many important topics and information regarding mental health and treatment that we were not able to include in this issue, but we hope the community will understand our never-ending mission.

We desire to shine a light on the disease of depression and other mental illness, prevent suicide and provide hope to those who have lost a loved one to suicide.

We hope this magazine issue and resource guide will provide hope and encouragement to anyone who is struggling, and we hope to reduce the stigma associated with mental illness by sharing stories from our own friends and family.

The Elliott Foundation appreciates Searcy Living for partnering with us!

www.elliottfoundation.com • 501.278.4357 • drrelliottfdn@hotmail.com

50 Your Hometown Magazine

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• There are discounts available for registering by the end of April.

SearcyLiving.com 51

I Think I Have

Depression Now What??

By Todd Brackins, PharmD, BCPP

F

eeling down occasionally is a normal part of life.

It is common after a friend or relative dies, after the loss of a job or following a move. Almost anything that shakes up a person’s routine can cause sadness. When hopelessness or despair remain after a period of grief or sadness, it may be depression.

Other factors that make a person more likely to develop depression include loneliness and isolation, family history of depression, relationship problems, financial strain, early childhood trauma, alcohol or drug abuse, unemployment, and chronic pain or other health conditions like diabetes and cancer.

Major Depressive Disorder, or depression, is a common and debilitating mood disorder.

Depression varies from person to person, but there are common signs and symptoms. A person with depression may have loss of appetite, feelings of sadness, hopelessness or guilt, restlessness or be mostly tired; they lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, and may gain or lose weight. Depression is believed to be a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. Outof-balance levels of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine are noted in people with depression.

Many people who think they have depression never seek any kind of treatment. Recognizing symptoms can be a first step toward

feeling better. Early steps to help cope can include connecting with others to let them know how you feel, getting some exercise, eating a healthier diet, and finding ways to reengage with others.

If you think you have symptoms of depression, or a friend or relative notices symptoms, your first step should be to see your family doctor for a checkup. Tell your doctor about your symptoms.

Your family doctor may detect underlying causes of depression such as vitamin deficiencies, female hormonal changes, thyroid issues, or sleep disorders. He or she can recommend changes in diet, starting an exercise regimen, or better control of diabetes or hypertension. Your family doctor is also able to prescribe antidepressant medications if needed.

Additionally, counseling can be a very useful tool in treating depression. Your doctor can assist you with finding a counselor and this magazine issue has listings of counseling agencies and private counselors. Finding a good match in a counselor can be a huge step toward feeling better, and many counselors work closely with your doctor to provide optimum care.

Your family doctor may recommend a referral to a psychiatrist for further care. Psychiatrists are medical doctors who receive additional training to treat psychiatric disorders and offer psychotherapy, another treatment option for people who have depression. Psychiatrists are also skilled with medications for

“ Depression is not a sign of weakness or laziness. It is a treatable medical condition...�

52 Your Hometown Magazine

depression, and have experience managing medications for maximum effect. Psychiatrists often have counselors and psychologists working with them to provide additional psychotherapy and support. Additionally, pharmacists are available to assist and educate patients regarding management of their medications as there is often a period of adjustment.

Mental health conditions are the leading cause of disability across the United States, yet most do not seek treatment. Depression is not a sign of weakness or laziness.

It is a treatable medical condition that is a result of an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, which results from a range of causes. With proper medical care, you can begin feeling well again.

Todd Brackins, PharmD, is a Board-Certified Psychiatric Pharmacist and Director of Field Medical Excellence for Alkermes, Inc.

“Mental health conditions are the leading cause of disability across the United States, yet most do not seek treatment.�

SearcyLiving.com 53

Birds Bathing In A

By Chuck Hicks

Asst. Professor of Music Director: Belles&Beaux / Good News Singers Specialist: Guitar / Fretted Instruments

Y

esterday, I noticed some birds splashing away in a mud puddle and I was struck by the irony of the situation. Most of us think birds are bathing themselves... as humans, trying to get “clean”. So the idea of “bathing” in a mud puddle seems rather self defeating and not too bright. But when you consider that birds frequently splash in the mud in order to rid themselves of the pesky little mites that take refuge in their feathers and cause them all kinds of grief and pain, bathing in a mudhole becomes more sensible and a completely logical solution.

A few years ago, I sang in clubs... some not too nice. I just sat on a stool under a spotlight, spoke to the crowd, took requests and sang songs, played guitar or piano and told stories. Some of my church friends wondered about my choice to sing in such places.

Was I getting “dirt” on my reputation or being influenced by the darkness? I told them that I was just trying to take my light to places that were dark. Once a church leader even called and asked me out for breakfast to find out if I was “OK”. After a few minutes, he understood that, at that point in my life, I believed that I could do some good in the world by taking kindness to places where it was less likely to be found. I’m not really sure

54 Your Hometown Magazine

that I ever did any good for any of those folks. I know I spent many hours with people who had nobody else who would talk with them.

I know that I have many letters from a lot of people who only have first names... Fran, Bill, Rhonda, Terri, John and a host of others... saying they appreciated the time I gave. And, maybe that’s all I had to give... time. My thought is that, in a way, I was part of the mud puddle that these folks were bathing in. They were probably just trying to get rid of those pesky feelings of loneliness and the pain of broken relationships... and maybe the “bath” helped... at least for a little while, until they had time to heal a little.

Birds are funny to watch. While walking on the ground they seem awkward and stiff, almost mechanical... but in the air they glide as smoothly and effortlessly as the wind that carries them. I suspect bathing in the mud puddle is like walking for them... not what they are best at... but what needs to be done... until it’s time to fly again.

Whatever place you are... walking around stiffly... splashing around in the mud... or just sitting on a fence... I hope it won’t be long until you’re flying again. And don’t worry... it’s all right if you take a bath in a mud puddle every now and again... the rest of us birds... well... we understand.

SearcyLiving.com 55

Post-Partum depression

By Susie K. Muirhead MSLPC-S

M

The prevalence of PPD among mothers who’ve just given birth is 10-15%. Half of these cases go undiagnosed. As many as 85% of cases are untreated or inadequately treated. Maternal depression has a negative effect on the newborn, including insecure attachment, impaired neuro-cognitive development, and the potential for abuse and neglect with future behavioral problems. In addition, there is typically a toll on the spouse Women who develop PPD may have false expectations and other children.

It’s important to distinguish PPD from “baby blues” and about motherhood. After 7 years of trying, I felt like finally having a baby was going to make everything right post-partum psychosis. Post-partum blues occurs in 50 to 80% of new mothers. They sometimes experience tearfulness, in my life.

Like others who are sensitive to stress and produce irritability, and sudden mood swings. Typically, these begin a high levels of cortisol and epinephrine, I reacted to the couple of days after delivery, peak at day 4-5, and resolve by day 14. No thoughts of suicide are sudden post-partum hormonal involved, and treatment of the new change. Other stressful events mom is supportive from family contributed, including a recent “For a new mother, suffering in silence and her doctor. long-distance move, new In contrast, post-partum employment, and financial results in the worst outcomes. But support at depression exhibits the signs and issues. home and from her doctor is associated with symptoms of a major depressive My husband had a very quicker recovery.” episode unrelated to childbirth, demanding job and worked including feelings of hopelessness long hours. and/or worthlessness, sadness, Our families of origin lived crying, marked anxiety, a 600 miles away. I suffered tendency to obsess over the from lack of sleep and felt isolated, with perceived responsibilities outweighing my well-being of the baby, inappropriate guilt, fatigue, sleep disturbances, and psychomotor retardation or agitation. The social support structure.

I had a history of PMS or PMDD and difficulty becoming onset is usually within 3 months after childbirth but can begin during pregnancy or be delayed by as much as 12 months. The pregnant, possibly reflecting hormonal imbalance.

I had abandonment issues from childhood. (Other duration of major depression is usually several months but can be a year or longer. Treatment is required, and urgently if there childhood trauma can contribute to PPD.) PPD is more common in mothers who are at one extreme are thoughts of suicide.

Post-partum psychosis is prevalent in one in 1,000 births. or the other of the birthing-age spectrum.

Early cessation of breast-feeding (in my case for lack of Major symptoms are agitation, paranoia, disorganized thinking, hallucinations, and delusions. These usually peak adequate milk) is a risk factor.

Physical trauma during childbirth—in my case, a within two weeks after delivery. This disease constitutes a medical emergency because of the risk to both the infant and prolonged labor—can contribute. the mother.

y interest in mental health stems from an episode of post-partum depression (PPD) that happened to me after I gave birth at the age of 38 to my only child. After I educated myself about PPD, I realized that I’d had many of the known contributing factors during and after my pregnancy:

56 Your Hometown Magazine

“When loved ones are blessed with a new addition, please be mindful to watch for the signs and be supportive. Don’t be afraid to ask a new mom if she is struggling and be available to help as needed.”

For a new mother, suffering in silence results in the worst outcomes. But support at home and from her doctor is associated with quicker recovery. Adequate sleep is essential. Exercise, massage, and yoga can also be useful to these new moms.

For mild to moderate cases of PPD, therapy is recommended.

Antidepressant medication is indicated for more severe cases and hospitalization is mandated for those with suicidal ideation.

This illness is common and sometimes overlooked when a new baby arrives. When loved ones are blessed with a new addition, please be mindful to watch for the signs and be supportive. Don’t be afraid to ask a new mom if she is struggling and be available to help as needed.

(This article is loosely based on a lecture given by Leigh Anne Bennett, M.D. on 6/21/18 at the “Understanding Depression Seminar” sponsored by the Elliott Foundation.) Susie Muirhead is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a board member of the Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation.

SearcyLiving.com 57

Jesse Dylan James F o u n d a ti o n

By Jessica Collins

S

ept e m b e r 2 9 , 2 0 1 7 , was a tragic day in the life of the James Family.

14-year-old Jesse, son of Jeremy and Jennifer James of Searcy, died by suicide.

The event changed lives, spurred sympathy, and encouraged action and awareness for the results of bullying and mental health.

As a result, family members formed the Jesse Dylan James Foundation to raise awareness and develop plans for suggesting solutions for an ever-growing issue that threatens our youth. This non-profit 501(c)(3) organization seeks contributions to fund a program that provides awareness, supports school programs, and rewards young scholars who promote kindness and grace towards others.

In 2018, the JDJ Foundation provided two scholarships to worthy Searcy High School senior band members who demonstrated awareness and kindness to those around them.

The foundation also supported a nationally-known activist Paul Coughlin to speak to local schools. Mr. Coughlin is founder/president of “The Protectors,” an organization that offers techniques to encourage freedom from bullying and offer courage, character and leadership for life.

Most people are unaware of the seriousness of the problem that faces Searcy and other communities. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) (www.cdc.gov) reports shock us with news of the prevalence of suicide. The second leading cause of death for 10-14-yearolds is death by suicide!

Each fall, the foundation organizes a community-wide event to celebrate and support the work of the foundation. Called “Jammin’ for Jesse,” the October event offers fun, food and music to remember Jesse and others whose lives were tragically lost.

Much of the financial support comes from a silent auction during “Jammin’ for Jesse.”

Hundreds of valuable gifts are generously donated by local merchants. The foundation and the family are especially thankful for these friends and neighbors for their support.

For more information, reach out to jessedylanjamesfoundation@gmail.com. Learn about the perils of suicide and bullying at “stopbullying.gov.”

Jessica James Collins is the loving aunt of Jesse James and works with the Jesse Dylan James Foundation. The James family have this strong admonition for everyone:

“If someone tells you, at any time, that they have inclinations towards suicide, do not be silent! Tell someone (family, friends, counselors) about it!”

Private contributions are appreciated, and can be directed to: The Jesse Dylan James Foundation P.O. Box 8007, Searcy, AR 72145

58 Your Hometown Magazine

Taken at the 2018 Event

Jammin’ for Jesse

Katie Mae Harris, Bridget Smith, Jennifer James, Michelle Conrad

Mike Feril, Larry Carroll, Todd McLeod, Scott Plummer, Jeremy James

SearcyLiving.com 59

and One Family’s Story

I

By Kathy Parish

t was a busy noontime at the cardiology clinic on

Wednesday, August 26, 2015, and I was seeing patients.

I had stepped to the desk for something when my phone rang. It was Steffie, my son Daniel’s wife. I could hardly understand her words through the sobs, but I finally grasped what she was saying. Daniel had hung himself, visible from the street, and a passing neighbor had called her. She was hearing and seeing the first responders from the friend’s house across the way where, unbeknownst to me, she had been staying since fleeing from him the previous Saturday.

The horror of that moment is still with me as I write the words. But my nurse self kicked in and took charge of the events of that day and many to follow. This is our story and the story of how the Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation helped us. But the foundation had begun playing a role in this family’s life eleven years before.

In the spring of 2004 our world was rocked when Dr. Jennifer Faith called me at work. Our daughter Cindy was in her office and was verbalizing a plan to commit suicide. Dr. Faith helped us contact a local psychiatrist and begin an intensive “suicide watch” to keep Cindy safe.

The next few months were a nightmarish scramble to keep her safe and coordinate care while dealing with enormous financial obstacles. Her private insurance at that time had a limited mental health benefit. She decided that treatment for her alcoholism would be necessary. (She and others who suffer from mental illness often choose this route to self-medicate.) We arranged a short stay at Bridgeway in Little Rock for detox, followed by daily travel there for outpatient therapy after her release.

However, soon after, Cindy made her first attempt at suicide.

I remember feeling betrayed and angry and helpless. Her overdose with diphenhydramine (Benadryl) seemed to me to be 60 Your Hometown Magazine

just a gesture rather than a serious attempt. My mistake. She was hospitalized locally and we searched for a female bed for inpatient care anywhere in the state. The only one available was in Malvern, so to Malvern we went.

She was on suicide watch for much of her stay there, although the staff seemed to believe that she was a young woman acting out because of resentment that she was responsible for a toddler son as a single parent. I knew Cindy better than that. She was a loving and capable mother.

We were at our wit’s end. She had met with three psychiatrists by that time and had failed to develop a therapeutic relationship with any of them. During that hospitalization, a Christian friend suggested that I attend the annual depression workshop sponsored by the Elliott Foundation. She and other members of First Baptist Church in Judsonia, our “home” church, had been faithfully praying for our family. I now know that that suggestion was too much of a serendipity to be anything other than a word from God.

“I believe that contact at that workshop through the services of the Elliott Foundation literally saved Cindy’s life.”

Dr. Leigh Anne (Elliott) Bennett was one of the speakers. She announced that she was completing her fellowship in psychiatry and would begin private practice the next month. My heart told me that she might be able to help Cindy, who had failed to relate to any of the male practitioners she had encountered. I approached Dr. Bennett, and she agreed to see Cindy as one of her first patients in private practice. I believe that contact at that workshop through the services of the Elliott Foundation literally saved Cindy’s life.

It continued to be a long road. Cindy was in hospital more than she was out. In July, three-year-old Joseph met me at the door as I came home unexpectedly early from work. He said, “I didn’t make Mommy fall.” I found Cindy on the floor in a spotless bathroom in a spotless house. I called our son Daniel to help me get her to the hospital and to arrange care for Joseph. From Unity Health she was readmitted to Bridgeway in Little Rock. Dr. Bennett assured me that this had been a lethal attempt. Cindy had researched the lethal dose of diphenydramine on the internet and had been building up to that dose for days so that she would not become over sedated too quickly and not succeed in her quest for relief from her depression.

Navigating the mental health system can be a struggle, and I was a nurse practitioner with a professional background and contacts within the social work system. Cindy was in such deep depression that Dr. Bennett recommended a trial of ECT (electroconvulsive therapy). She explained that the induction of a brief seizure while the patient is under anesthesia can “reset” the chemicals in the brain and help with depression like Cindy’s. But she would have to be referred to another facility for the procedures. And, once again, payment was going to be an obstacle. I was faced with the necessity of coming up with cash to cover the care (impossible) or getting Medicaid coverage for Cindy in a matter of days. Another nightmarish struggle, but, with the counsel of my friend in social work and the grace of God, we accomplished it. Cindy was transferred to Baptist Medical Center.

The nightmare worsened. Another phone call, this one from Dr. Bennett. Cindy had eloped from Baptist, traipsing through forested areas and the city of Little Rock, finally reaching Bowman Road, close to Dr. Bennett’s office. She had called the office and a taxi had been sent to bring her there. I was to come get her. It seemed that in Cindy’s mind, Dr. Bennett was her lifeline. I was feeling that way, too.

The rest of the year is a blur. Cindy was in hospital most of the time. The few times we took Joseph to see her were heartbreaking.

He cried inconsolably as we left her there, so we finally stopped taking him. A few days before Christmas of 2004 the breakthrough occurred. Cindy finally confessed to auditory hallucinations— voices instructing her to hurt herself. With that knowledge her medical therapy was modified and she was finally discharged, just in time for Christmas with her family.

Daniel and his daughter, Kaci

“

She is an example of how strong, willing, compliant individuals can triumph over the stress of dealing with mental illness.”

That sounds like a sad story, but it’s not. Cindy’s diagnoses of bipolar disorder with a strong depressive component and social anxiety are totally under control. She is an example of how strong, willing, compliant individuals can triumph over the stress of dealing with mental illness. She has blossomed into a beautiful, confident woman who fully supports all of the Foundation’s activities. She was the one who initiated our family’s annual support of the Stride for Life 5-K in Searcy.

Cindy and I had long believed, and frequently discussed, our observation that Daniel exhibited signs of the same bipolar disorder. He self-medicated, initially with alcohol but, later, with methamphetamine. Our attempts to get him into the mental health system were miserable failures. He didn’t want the “label” and SearcyLiving.com 61

“We are healing. But there is so much work to do. So we have channeled our grief energy into the group, to help other survivors through

listening compassionately and sharing our journey with them.”

didn’t want his right to have hunting guns limited. He was a brittle diabetic and, early on, we attributed some of his mood swings to his labile blood sugar. He was in and out of the hospital for his physical illness, once near-death in diabetic ketoacidosis.

His story is the tragedy. His risk-taking behaviors drove his devoted wife from his side. She had finally filed for divorce the week before his death. He became more and more paranoid and locked all of us out of his struggle. We were blinded to how dark his world had become, blinded because he wouldn’t let us in. He was in such despair, such pain that his life became unbearable.

So he ended it. I didn’t cry at first. I was concerned for everyone else. His dad, my husband, his siblings, his daughter, his infant granddaughter. His wife, Steffie, who I still characterize as the best thing in his life. As he lay in the ER on the ventilator, I asked for a drug screen. It was positive for methamphetamine. It was clear that he had been under the influence of this poisonous drug and out of his mind when he took that lethal action. But his heart was strong and beat on. What to do?

With Steffie’s consent I made the call. Let him go. And I stood there as his life finally left his body. The ER staff prayed with us.

I kissed him goodbye. I had no way of knowing that I was not dealing with the reality of the loss. I thought I was the one who had to be in control, taking care of everyone else.

“The challenge to prevent the devastating loss of loved ones to suicide is paramount.”

My son Ronnie and daughter Cindy almost immediately began attending the S.O.S. (Survivors of Suicide) support group sponsored by the Elliott Foundation. It meets monthly on the south campus of Unity Health here in Searcy. Steffie came a bit later.

It took me a full year to realize that my need for control had not allowed me time to grieve. We three members of the Parish family continue to attend on a regular basis, even three years out. We are healing. But there is so much work to do. So we have channeled our grief energy into the group, to help other survivors through listening compassionately and sharing our journey with them.

The Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation has been there for us both in Cindy’s triumphant journey as she lives a full and engaged life and in caring for us after the tragedy of Daniel’s death by suicide.

The dedicated Board (I am honored to now serve with them) works always with the thought that there is more to be done to shine the light of education and awareness on the disease of depression.

62 Your Hometown Magazine

Daniel and his wife, Steffie Ensuring that conversation continues about the tragedy of suicide and providing resources to support families who live the tragedy is central to their efforts. The challenge to prevent the devastating loss of loved ones to suicide is paramount.

The Dr. Robert E. Elliott Foundation is an asset to White County and the city of Searcy. I am forever grateful for the Foundation’s presence in our lives.

Kathy Parish is a cardiology nurse practitioner and writer. She has published two inspirational novels in the Four Corners series, Freely Given and Colorado’s Choice, and is working on the third. Kathy enjoys loving on her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, teaching children’s Bible classes, writing, and spending time with her husband Donnie. You can follow her on her Facebook author page or her website, parishkathy.com.

SearcyLiving.com 63

7

Questions to Ask

When Considering

Foster Care in Arkansas

O

By Se’Lois Taylor

n any given day, there are over 4,000 children in

foster care in Arkansas, with only 1,600 foster family homes available. Those numbers tell us we need more foster families, especially for older children, teens, and siblings. We’re sure you have many questions about foster care and becoming foster parents, so we’ve asked Mischa Martin, Director of the Department of Human Services (DHS) Division of Children and Family Services (DCFS), to compile the most common questions she hears and information that will help you decide if fostering is right for you.

Why do children come into foster care?

DCFS strives for children and youth to remain in their own homes with their families whenever safely possible.

But sometimes, it is necessary to remove children or youth from the home to ensure their safety. Our caseworkers consider a number of things when deciding whether to remove children, but the most important question is: “Is this action necessary to protect the health or physical well-being of the child from immediate danger?” In Arkansas, children can only be removed from their parent or caregiver if there is an assessment that the child is in immediate danger and the only way to protect the child is to place the child in state’s custody.

Are all children in foster care available for adoption?

No. In fact, nearly two-thirds of children in foster care in Arkansas return to their homes or to relatives.

Reunifying families is always our goal, if it is safe to do so. Often the biological parents simply need support to address issues, like substance abuse or lack of parenting skills.

We work to support families, and we have some amazing foster parents who mentor families so they can get their children back.

64 Your Hometown Magazine

Where are children placed while they are in foster care?

When making placement decisions, we’re guided by the value that every child deserves a safe, stable family.

DCFS wants to get the first placement right. Ideally, a child is placed in an appropriate and safe relative’s home with the child’s siblings. But if a relative is unavailable, children should be placed in a foster family home, preferably with their siblings and in their community where their friends and schools are located.

Also, the efforts to place a child with a relative should continue throughout the life of the case.

What kinds of children are in foster care?

Children of all ages, races, ethnicities, and genders are in foster care in Arkansas. The greatest need for foster homes, however, is for children ages six years and older (especially teens) and sibling groups. It is critical for us to find more foster homes for these children. That’s how you can help the most.

Do I have to be “perfect” to be a foster parent?

Kids in foster care don’t need you to be perfect; they need you to be present, engaged, and committed to their healing and care. It allows you to support and learn with them in the hard times, sharing in their experience to bring about a new and better outcome.

What if I become too attached to a child in foster care?

The best foster parents get attached. Many foster parents extend that attachment to the children’s biological families, both while the children are in their care and

after they return home. Wrapping around the biological families and the children means as much to the foster parents as it does to the biological family.

How do I become a foster parent?

Visit our website www.fosterarkansas.org and scroll down to the “Foster” link. There you’ll find the general requirements to be a foster parent and a link to the Foster Family Home Inquiry page, which is the first step in becoming a foster parent in Arkansas.

If you want to learn more about foster care right here in White County, we have a great opportunity called “Fishing for Fosters.”

Right now, White County has roughly 104 children in foster care. This means that many White County children who enter foster care have to be placed outside of the area to ensure their safety.

Coming into foster care, through no fault of their own, is stressful enough for children, but having to temporarily be removed from their home communities, schools, and friends is even more traumatic. But there is a way you can help these children.

“Fishing for Fosters” is a foster care awareness event on Saturday, March 30th at the Carmichael Community Center in Searcy, AR from 1pm-4pm.

We need new foster families to help care for our children and we especially need foster homes willing to accept sibling groups and children ages 6 to 18.

There will be service providers and community resources to talk with you one-on-one to answer all of your questions about fostering and other ways you can help our children. You’ll be able to meet with workers from DHS, The Call, Paragould Children’s Homes, Searcy Children’s Homes, and current foster parents.

Not sure you want to foster? We also have volunteer and mentorship opportunities. In other words, if you want to help children in need, we have easy but meaningful ways for you to get involved and help make a difference.

Drop in anytime between 1:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. Saturday and learn how you can help. For more questions about fostering children, please contact White County DHS at 870-217-9146 or visit our website at www.fosterarkansas.org.

“Right now, White County has roughly 104 children in foster care.”

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Bid on desserts for Easter dinner and support a great cause!

April 18, 2019 At the Searcy Country Club 2729 W. Country Club Rd. Tickets $20 Tickets available at Searcy Living 812 S. Main St. Go to the Imagine & Believe Facebook page for more information.

Heavy hors d’oeuvres will be served.

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Only a few are willing to give their time, their home and their life to serve orphans.

But the rest of us can be an amazing support team!

812 S. Main St. Searcy, AR Find Us On Facebook

fou n dat io n

imaginebelieve123.com

The Imagine & Believe Foundation has office space, utilities and Foster Care Boutique space that is 100% donated by a local business. Your donations are put to great use in the serving of foster children.

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Many Thanks to

Thank You to

for the Toy Drive!

for the Toy Donations!

10 Fitness

EATON

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What Is The

H ope Believe Foster Care & Adoption Boutique? * The Imagine and Believe Foster Care and Adoption Boutique is simply a room in the Searcy Living business office that we have dedicated for use in helping foster & adoptive families, and sometimes emergency situations. Our awesome Searcy Living readers bring in donations, enabling foster parents to be able to ‘shop’ for what they need for foster, adopted and disadvantaged children, at no cost.

Our office is located at 812 S. Main Street in Searcy. We welcome gently used or new items. Thank you, Searcy, for your generosity and time spent to support the Foster Care Boutique!

L ocated I n

Imagine a world where every child has a safe loving home.

Believe it can happen!

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Whole Hog Cafe

Thank you for the diaper donation!

T h a n k Y ou to a l l

Volunteers & Donors!

Walmart Distribution Donation Thank you to all the volunteers for helping transport and unload and to Whitney Lane Family Worship for space!

“We can not fathom the BEAUTY of the tapestry into which God is weaving our current thread. Be it ugly, dull, or beautiful, this particular thread is an intricate part of the artwork ~ sometimes necessary, sometimes thrown in for good measure, sometimes weaved in as a repair. And occasionally our Artist gives us a glimpse of the design.� ~ Regina B.

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The Great Toy Drop

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Diana McAdams, owner of Froyo and Sno Island, donated a stylish bag of Lularoe clothing for a foster teen girl in White County.

Many thanks!

Imagine & Believe Foundation We provide the Foster Care Boutique, which is where your donations of clothing and diapers are connected to foster parents.

We connect seasoned mentors (former foster parents) to new foster and

adoptive parents, giving them a resource to ask questions and glean wisdom from someone who truly understands their journey.

We help new foster homes get set up with things such as play pens and child safety gates. We help fill in the gaps. There are so many things to get and do to prepare to be a new parent of a child or children of varying ages.

We know the journey of fostering and adopting is very rewarding, but it can also have great times of discouragement and loss. We try to be an encouragement system and reminder that this community really does care about the orphans and the caretakers of the orphan ministry.

If a foster family does not have the time to come by the Foster Care

Boutique, we deliver the clothing and diapers to them. This service is needed, for instance, when a foster family takes in a foster child at 3am and has to be at work by 8am the next morning.

Please send donations to: Imagine & Believe Foundation • P.O. Box 2042 • Searcy, AR 72145 Phone (501) 593-5263 My check is enclosed to help wherever needed.

 $20

 $50

 Other

 I want to donate my time. My talent is: ___________________________________

Imagine & Believe is a Non-Profit 501(c)(3) • Donations are Tax Deductible 501.593.5263 SearcyLiving.com 73

A Special Thanks to McCoy’s Building Supply

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Fab With Amanda Lutrell

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE (YOUR) HOME

PART 4: WALL DeCOR

O

ne of the best and most personal ways to customize your home is with wall décor. No matter if your style is rustic, modern, or anything in between, wall décor adds color, depth, and character to a room. And best of all, it doesn’t have to break the bank!

1 DIY art is a sure way to get a one-of-a-kind piece for your space.

Abstract painting is a great project for beginners because there are no rules! Abstract takes off the pressure of being “perfect” and “precise”. Just grab a canvas and paint colors of your choice and let your creative juices flow! (There are some great tips and tutorials about abstract painting on Pinterest!)

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2 Sometimes all it takes are simple touches to make your home unique and keep things from looking “generic”. For instance, instead of using one large mirror in my daughter’s bedroom, I hung four small mirrors in a modern pattern and surrounded them with adhesive metal leaf art. The result is more dimension and character than just a single mirror could give, but still getting the benefit of the light reflection.

3 There is nothing more unique to your home than the people living in it, so the very best way to personalize your space is to have photos of the people you love most hanging on your wall!

With the camera quality on cell phones increasing all of the time and an infinite number of photo editing apps, a “DIY photo shoot” can give you the look of a professional photograph for a fraction of the cost! To insure that your photos look professional there are a few things to keep in mind.

1. Don’t “over” edit. Too many filters affect the sharpness of a picture when printed and can make it look blurry and poor quality. When editing a photo try to only adjust brightness and tints instead of using colored overlays.

2. Unless you have a high quality printer at home, upload your photos and have them printed for you. Home printers often leave lines and imperfections in the pictures.

3. Use a matted picture frame. Not only does a mat give a more professional look, it adds drama and dimension.

The most important things when choosing wall décor is to pick pieces that make you happy, and to just have fun with it!

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Greek Spaghetti If you like the taste of Feta, beautiful olives, and wonderfully salty capers then you will likely devour this as quickly as my family did recently. If you need to replace the pasta with a gluten free variety it would be equally as delicious. This is one of those recipes where you’ll want to have EVERYTHING measured out and ready to go. You will look like a host of a cooking show but this goes together so quickly once your pasta is cooked, you don’t have time to be scurrying around the kitchen looking for ingredients or tools. Hint: Set the table before you get started on this because it’ll be ready to serve in no time! Accompany with a fresh salad and you’re good to go! This will serve six nicely, or maybe two college boys. :-)

Cook

12 ounces spaghetti 6 Tbsp olive oil 1 1/2 Tbsp minced fresh garlic 1 1/2 lb tomatoes, diced (I use organic Roma tomatoes from Kroger) 1/2 c. black olives, sliced 1/4 c. Kalamata olives, sliced 5 ounces Feta, crumbled (try to find a good kind without NATAMYCIN in the ingredients) 3 Tbsp drained capers

In a large pot cook the spaghetti in plenty of salty (LIKE THE OCEAN salty) water; drain and place in a large serving bowl (you’ll need room to toss everything together).

Sauté

Meanwhile sauté garlic in the olive oil over medium heat just until fragrant (maybe a minute or so).

Add

Pour oil/garlic mixture over pasta in the large bowl and add remaining ingredients.

Serve

Toss well to distribute ingredients and serve immediately.

1/8 c. or so of fresh parsley, finely diced 2 1/2 tsp dried basil (or 1/4 c. fresh) salt and pepper to taste

Tanya Turner Leckie’s cookbook, Cartwheels In The Kitchen, is available at Midnight Oil Coffee House, as well as through Tanya by e-mailing her at lazydaygourmet@sbcglobal.net.

Partial proceeds through sales benefit the Makonde Team mission work in Tanzania, Africa.

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Across

Down

1. If I begin to negatively ________ myself or others regarding feelings, then allowing myself to grieve is going to be very difficult.

2. ________ is a valuable player in the arena of mental health.

5. ________ is no respecter of persons.

7. Kids in foster care don’t need you to be ________; they need you to be present, engaged, and committed to their healing and care.

8. The Elliott family leads by ________ in sharing their struggles and listening to others.

What has many keys, but can’t open any doors?

3. Look for a ________ who can find a balance of building trust and support while challenging patterns of behavior, beliefs, and thinking.

4. Dan’s ________ changed his perspective on what is important.

6. ________ health conditions are the leading cause of disability across the United States.

What has four legs and only one foot?

find the answers

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Keep your head up. God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.

Show your support for life and help raise money at the same time! Purchase an official Choose Life Arkansas License Plate for the rear of your car. You can obtain one through direct purchase from the Department of Finance and Administration.

Let’s make the readership of Searcy Living the BIGGEST supporters for life in the state!

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