WHAT PARENTS ARE TALKING ABOUT

Seattle ’ sChild

March 2019 // Issue 471 “Seattle is my town. I know this city inside and out… or so I thought until I had kids.” Seattle’s Child is your guide to getting to know your city all over again. Finding things to do, places to eat, and how to get around — it’s a whole new ballgame with kids in tow. We’re interested in how parents make homes in a space-challenged urban environment, how families create community, and what parents are talking about. Seattle’s Child reflects real Puget Sound families and their broad range of parenting experiences.

ANN BERGMAN Publisher, Founder abergman@seattleschild.com BOO DAVIS Art Director bdavis@seattleschild.com SYDNEY PARKER Managing Editor sparker@seattleschild.com JULIE HANSON Website Editor jhanson@seattleschild.com JENNIFER MORTENSEN Calendar Editor calendar@seattleschild.com MIKE MAHONEY Copy Editor JEFF LEE, MD Columnist

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Seattle’sChild

Seattle’s Child has been providing useful information to parents since 1979. In addition to our monthly magazine, look for our special themed publications — Explore, FamilyPages, School and SummerTime — distributed free throughout the Puget Sound area. Seattle’s Child is published monthly with combined issues in January/February and July/August.

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«What Parents Are Talking About

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much of my energy. Being the only adult in the house is often exhausting, and without even a glimpse of sun, some days seem to roll out in super slow-motion.

So I burn a lot of candles (they really help; each one is like a tiny guest in the room) and recently bought a diffuser to make the house smell like bright essential oils. Practicing yoga keeps me connected to the inner light, as does getting enough sleep and eating plenty of green veggies (really!). Enjoying creative or funny activities with my son is a big dose of sunshine, so I try to clear the decks as much as possible when we’re together.

The side hustle is real. I had a long and strong career in editorial and communications before being married. Even though I quit my office job while trying to conceive, I never stopped working. My freelance writing and editing projects brought in “extra” money that often surged into five digits, but I certainly wasn’t the main breadwinner. When we moved here, our household was buoyed by the region’s strong tech economy (thank you, online retail). Now that my personal IT support has left the building, and an appropriate full-time job doesn’t seem to be manifesting despite my best efforts (thank you, online retail), my side hustles (I’m also a private yoga instructor) need to grow exponentially. Like, yesterday.

I’m stretching beyond my Libra comfort zone to network and market myself, and that’s a good thing. In fact, focusing on my work has been powerfully grounding. Even though Seattle is a tough

town for small business, I’m pretty busy and fully aiming to get even busier. Meanwhile, I’m using the opportunity to model perseverance and patience for my son.

Family is far away. Every one of my family members lives in New York, and my oldest friends are out of state. Single parenting without my sister, brother or mother nearby has been crushing. When my heart was breaking so much I could barely think, or when I caught the flu and thought I was dying, I was on my own. I do have a number of very supportive local friends who give me lots of reasons to smile and be thankful. Still, there are nights I would be so glad to have Gramma

“Single parenting without my sister, brother or mother nearby has been crushing. When my heart was breaking so much I could barely think, or when I caught the flu and thought I was dying, I was on my own.”

Tina over for dinner, just for adult company and conversation — and help with the dishes would be nice, too.

As it is, my son and I work on “meaningful discussions” over our dinners, sometimes followed by some pre-adolescent guff about pitching in for cleanup. But I make it a point for us to have regular, nutritious meals at the dining table, and he knows he’s expected to take the plates into the kitchen when we are done, guff or no guff. At this point, it’s all about baby steps. And broccoli.

» DadNextDoor

A little encouragement from across the fence

by JEFF LEE, MD

A pox on our houses

The outbreak of measles in Washington has prompted heated public debate over vaccine exemptions. Here are the facts as Dr. Lee sees them.

I don’t get a lot of hate mail — almost none,

in fact. After all, this is a parenting magazine; I’m more likely to write about potty training than abortion or a Mexican border wall. Still, I haven’t avoided controversy altogether. Over the years, when the evening news has collid ed with my role as a parent, I’ve written about gun control, sexual assault, climate change, gender fluidity, race relations, and a handful of other topics that seemed guaranteed to raise a few hackles. Yet, af ter almost every one of those columns, the comments were civil and polite. Almost.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a column about the importance of vacci nating our kids. It was the only time my inbox ever caught on fire. Okay, that’s an exaggeration — there were only a few negative letters. But boy, we’re talking name-calling, flame-throwing, parent age-questioning, where-the-hell-didyou-get-your-medical-degree letters.

So you’d think I’d know better than to poke a stick in that particular hornets’ nest again, but this winter there’s been an outbreak of measles in Washington. I felt compelled to say something. I know; I’m a glutton for punishment.

There are many reasons why people have strong feelings about vaccination. My Somali patients worry about the pork gelatin used in vaccine manufacturing, and that it’s prohibited by their religion. Some people worry about a 1998 British study (that has since been refuted and retracted) linking the measles/mumps/ rubella vaccine (MMR) to autism. Some people are suspicious of big pharmaceu tical companies, or the government, or both. And some just don’t want someone telling them what to do — especially if it involves injecting foreign substances into their infant children.

For all of those people, what fuels their fear is a profound wish to do what’s best for their children. Even if you disagree with them, it’s a mistake to label them as neglectful or irresponsible. In truth, they’re exactly the opposite. They’re just trying to do the right thing.

My job here isn’t to question anyone’s motives — it’s to provide the best informa tion I can find and add it to the discussion. These days, there’s a lot of information to digest. Any blogger with an ax to grind has the same size internet megaphone as the World Health Organization. It’s up to each of us to figure out what’s credible and what’s not, and I’ve tried to do that. Here are the facts as I see them.

Measles is a dangerous disease. It’s extremely contagious, infecting 90 percent of the people who contract it. Worldwide, it infects about 20 million people a year. It is the largest cause of vaccine-preventable deaths in the world, usually killing the weak and the very young. And while we’re at it, mumps and rubella (the other diseases the MMR vaccine prevents) can also kill, as well as causing infertility, serious birth defects, and other long-term disabilities.

MMR is very effective. In 1980, 2.6 million people died of measles worldwide. CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE >

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