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WHAT PARENTS ARE TALKING ABOUT
Seattle ’ sChild March 2020 // Issue 481
“Seattle is my town. I know this city inside and out… or so I thought until I had kids.” Seattle’s Child is your guide to getting to know your city all over again. Finding things to do, places to eat, and how to get around — it’s a whole new ballgame with kids in tow. We’re interested in how parents make homes in a space-challenged urban environment, how families create community, and what parents are really talking about. Seattle’s Child reflects real Washington families and their broad range of parenting experiences.
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Department of Services for the Blind, and has been held at least five other times in various parts of the state over the past 12 months. People as old as 21 are welcome to attend these classes, which provide an introduction to defending yourself in a variety of situations.
But these self-defense courses are just one of the many types of workshops offered to young people across the state who are blind or visually impaired by the department throughout the year. They include everything from a healthy eating class and emergency response workshop to a ski trip, with one-on-one instruction.
The self-defense class was taught by Arvidson and his wife Collette, both 5th-degree black belts in the traditional Korean martial art of Soo Bahk Do. They also run Anacortes Soo Bahk Do, a martial arts studio.
During the class, the pair takes the students through a series of basic moves, teaching them how to break free if someone grabs their wrist or comes up behind them and puts their arms around their chest, or puts them in a choke hold. They even bring out some small boards at the end of class for each student to break, using either their hand or foot.
Beyond physical technique, the instructors teach basic exercises to boost the students’ self-awareness and
self-confidence. Andy Arvidson, 69, says he views these skills as a crucial part of self-defense. If you’re aware of where you are and who is around you, there’s less chance of being snuck up on, he explains.
Toward the beginning of the course, he has the students stand in a circle and take turns saying as loudly as they can, “Get your hands off of me!” They practice breathing exercises to help them boost the volume of their voices.
Collette Arvidson explains that it’s really important to be able to make your voice loud and strong when you need to.
“Nobody’s going to even know if you’re just talking with another kid or you’re goofing off, so you have to be really verbal and say, ‘Get your hand off of me!’ so somebody can hear clearly,” she says.
This is the second time that Eli McCalmont, 13, has taken the self-defense class through the services for the blind department. He said his favorite part has been learning how to get out of a choke hold.
“I think that is the worst-case scenario, and it’s good to learn that, and I think it’s a cool move,” says McCalmont, who’s from Issaquah.
Janet George, Youth Services Specialist for the Washington State Department of Services for the Blind, emphasizes that these classes offer the unique opportunity for students to learn important skills from someone who is blind.
» DadNextDoor
A little encouragement from across the fence
by JEFF LEE, MD
Don’t press mute
Women who can speak out for themselves start out as little girls who do the same: Let’s make sure we really want to hear what they say
I’ll admit it: I have a soft spot for old
Disney movies. They remind me of curling up on the sofa with my daughters while baby Simba is lifted to the sky, or of singing “Be Our Guest” to them in a terrible French accent. Recently, though, something in the news put one of those movies in a different light.
In 1989, The Little Mermaid ushered in a new era of Disney animated musicals. It featured a calypso-singing crab, a tentacled sea witch and a handsome Danish prince. It also gave us the first of Disney’s long line of cute, spunky princess protagonists: Ariel the mermaid.
Though the youngest of Neptune’s daughters, she’s no shrinking anemone. She’s adventurous, independent, clever and brave. Her story, however, turns on a Faustian bargain in which she trades her voice and her identity for the chance to pursue a boy. Disney has taken a lot of flak for that unfortunate little metaphor, but the plot was lifted more or less intact from the original story by Hans Christian Andersen. Of course, the movie left out all kinds of juicy, bloody and religious details from the book, so Disney still bears responsibility for the parts they kept, but the gist of the story is very, very old. For centuries, girls have received the same message in a thousand different ways: the path to love, acceptance and womanhood is to be seen and not heard.
Recently, the consequences of that message have been on display in the sexual assault trial of Harvey Weinstein. His attorneys have repeatedly made the point that some of his alleged victims continued to work with him, correspond with him, and even socialize with him long after they say he assaulted them. What were they thinking? Why didn’t they say something?
It turns out that a woman’s silence is the most common response to sexual assault and harassment. This is the case beyond the immediate aftermath, when shock and horror can be paralyzing. Those initial feelings are quickly replaced by fear and confusion and shame. If I speak, they wonder, will anyone believe me? Will they blame me? Will they come after me to keep me quiet?
In one study, a group of women were given a “personality survey” in which a few of the questions asked how they would respond to sexual harassment or inappropriate remarks. Almost all of the women said they would report the behavior or confront the perpetrator. Later, these same women were called in for fake job interviews, in which the male interviewer asked a series of increasingly inappropriate questions. Almost none of the women confronted or reported him. They remained silent.
Obviously, there’s a lot going on CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE >
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