Rekindling Lost Connections

The pandemic has riven many relationships. Now it’s time to mend them

RASHMI GOPAL RAO

Arelationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb.

It is not an understatement to say that the coronavirus pandemic has changed our lives forever. Words like quarantine, self-isolation, and lockdown, once unheard of, became an intrinsic part of our lives. While official estimates peg the number of deaths at around 5.5 million, the actual numbers are definitely much more. Today, as the pandemic’s ugly tentacles recede, people are slowly limping back to normal life. But there’s no doubt that COVID-19 has changed our social life forever. It has altered the way we meet and greet people, the way we celebrate, and even the way we mourn. Most importantly, the pandemic has taught us the value of a home, loved ones, extended family, friends, and the fact about how fragile life is.

CHANGES IN PERSPECTIVE

Given the way coronavirus has upended our lives, it is not surprising to note that the pandemic has sparked a change in the way we look at relationships and our outlook on life. Now is the time to re-evaluate the relationships that matter to us; whether it is with your own spouse, family or friends. Balancing work and family life amidst the chaos of everyone working from home, isolations and restrictions has definitely not been easy on anyone. Challenges like illnesses, job losses and tragedies have only added to the complexity. Hence, it is quite natural to have had arguments, negative interactions and being hurt in the entire process.

As a first step, review the relationships closest to you – that is, with your spouse and children. Take time to reflect on what could be wrong and what you can do to improve the rapport with your loved ones. Do not let stress get the better of you; instead, be calm and learn to communicate your point of view. Communication, mutual respect and honesty go a long way in cementing long-lasting relationships. Further, being empathetic and patient go a long way in weeding out negative vibes and instilling a positive environment at home. Remember to leave bygones as bygones and be prepared to start on a fresh slate.

RENEWING LOST RELATIONSHIPS

Just like at home, Zoom fatigue and lockdowns have taken its toll on relationships with those outside. With the lapse in communication, it is natural that some relationships have become frayed, with some even fracturing. Often, there is awkwardness when you try to connect back. Reassess the situation and the importance of the relationship in your life, and make an attempt to get in touch. It could be the best and first step to revive the bond. Many a time it could have been a small misunderstanding, a rift, or an argument you never had a chance to resolve once the pandemic came in. In such cases, there is a hesitation from both sides to connect. Being proactive helps. Even if it does not work, it can give you the satisfaction that you tried.

MAKE THE FIRST MOVE

If you feel it strange to pick the phone, try a text message and then take the next step. In extended families, choose to be more open on family WhatsApp groups and then make a personal connection once you have built a rapport. Make an effort to meet over a coffee if you live close by, or invite them over for a meal. Such occasions are the perfect excuse to have a heart-toheart conversation about past misunderstandings and miscommunications. Once the initial discomfort eases, it should be a smooth and fruitful meeting. One feels lighter after clearing the air, and letting go of the past and starting on a fresh note is definitely pleasant.

Try to connect and meet up with common friends. Step out for a meal together and get talking. If you were part of a club or have played a sport together, organize a meet-up. Remember to be positive. Do not be afraid of a lack of reciprocation. If the relationship matters, and adds value to your life, it is worth making the first move.

LEARNING TO LET GO

While it is important to make an effort with relationships that are fruitful and mutually satisfying, some others take a toll on your mental health. It is imperative that you assess such connections and determine whether there was anything beyond time and distance that caused the relation to fray. If letting go of such relationships is what gives you peace and happiness, make that choice. Instead of dwelling on the past, move on, pursue a hobby or keep yourself occupied with anything that gives you joy and contentment.