5 Simple Habits to Change Your Life

5 SIMPLE HABITS

to Change Your Life

It can have a lasting impact on health and relationships

SWETA VIKRAM

One word that often comes up in modern-day conversations is “habits.” Be it clients, colleagues, friends, or family, a large majority of us are trying to “become better” and lead a more mindful life. The pause during the pandemic brought up a mirror to our faces and showed us what could be different. But the journey of transformation requires making shifts and replacing old habits with new ones. If you are reading this essay, you, too, have probably mulled over, How can I tap into the power of good habits to make drastic changes to improve my life, health, relationships with others and myself?

Here are a few suggestions that will help reshape the way you think about habits and how they can change your life.

BE TRUE TO YOUR WORD:

I was a little girl when an older cousin of mine promised that she’d get me an Anil Kapoor poster. It was the 80s when Anil Kapoor was a hot favorite, and I loved dancing to his movie’s music. I didn’t ask her for the poster. She offered to buy it for me as a gift. She never did. Even as an adult, I have noticed that this cousin says a lot of things she doesn’t mean or makes plans with others that she doesn’t keep. I don’t think she is a bad person. But she isn’t impeccable with her words. Words matter…be it a promise to a little girl or when you wake up and step into life daily or when you hold space for your loved ones or work with your

clients or colleagues. Take your time to respond but don’t say things that you don’t mean. If people can’t trust you, they can’t build a relationship with you. Nobody can survive alone. We already know (Thanks to the coronavirus lockdowns) what loneliness can do to us humans.

STOP PERSONALIZING EVERY INTERACTION:

We don’t know what the other person is thinking. We have no idea what their day was like until we met with them. Don’t make assumptions about how people show up. They could have had a fight with their partner, watchman, boss, friend, or yelled at their kid before they ran into you. It’s hard not to personalize rude behavior or condescending tone. I am not asking you to condone or forgive bad behavior. All I am suggesting is that you don’t personalize every interaction — both good and bad. Here is how I have shifted the narrative for my own well-being: I have told that tiny voice in my head (also known as ego) that the world doesn’t rotate around me. If a person is nice to me, it’s not about me; if someone is mean, it’s again not about me. The detachment has been profoundly helpful in centering myself instead of being

a yo-yo caught in other people’s emotional response. Don’t allow others to derail your mental health.

MAKE TIME FOR NEW HABITS

We all have 24 hours in a day. Be wise about how you choose to spend them. Most of my clients are busy professionals who are trying to make positive changes to their lives. A large majority will also express their hesitation as I make even a few suggestions. So, I give them tools and strategies they need to get over the mental barrier and transform their habits. For example, if they are new to meditation, I ask them to start with 10 minutes of practice every day. If they are looking at exploring “me-time,” I suggest they include a 10-minute solo walk in their day. The point being words are ineffective until you put them into action. And unless you make time for new habits, you will revert to the old, unproductive ones and then be upset with yourself for feeling stuck in a rut.

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF:

I have always known that I am different from a large majority of people around me. I am extremely straight forward, loyal to a fault, see the world differently, inflexible when it comes to ethics, and need very little to be happy. I am not afraid to speak my truth. For example, my mom always believed that one day I will fall in love with saris and jewelry and start to wear/ purchase/appreciate what she gave me. My momin-law was equally delusional about my “sanskari” choices. They both kept buying, and I gently kept reminding them that they were wasting hard-earned money. One day, I sat them down and reiterated that saris and jewelry don’t make a person more “Indian,” good, or dependable. My values have nothing to do with my feelings towards saris and jewelry. Women who like adorning them, they should; those of us who are happier in bookstores, hugging our Lululemon leggings, and sharing hugs at mom and pop coffee shops, should be allowed to pursue our path of happiness. I am not sure how much of the conversation they processed that day, but they both have believed that I will be there for them whenever they need me and even when they don’t…without the saris and jewelry. What I am saying is that being a good person and staying true to yourself are the most important values. Instead of trying to fit into societal cliches or being upset with others for not accepting me the way I am, I have lived authentically without resenting anyone. As a result, I sleep well, have good relationships with my family, and have an incredible circle of friends who are truly present in my life. They all know that what they see is what they get.

GET BACK ON TRACK WHEN YOU FALL OFF COURSE.

A client recently confessed that they went on a dessert binge for three months. They have gained weight and their blood work is slightly alarming. She thought I’d be upset with her and was surprised when I showed compassion. This is a woman who recently lost a parent. This woman is about to send her kid off to college and live with the new norm of no one at home (Husband is back in the office after two years of remote working). So, she fell off the wagon. Life happens. We addressed her emotional issues and talked about ways in which she could get back on track. To fall off the wagon is a human condition, so don’t be hard on yourself. Just remind yourself that you must choose to get back on the horse for your own well-being. This attitude can be applied to every aspect of our lives.

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” ~ Octavia Butler