Family: THE BEST WAY TO START AGAIN AND ANEW The best lesson of the past is that its shapes the future better, when we review and don’t take the recalculated steps to ensure we are not haunted by the pressure and pains of the past. Experience is acting contrary to what fails us in the past and taking much precaution with more guided conscience to avoid heartbreaks or possible consequences. Unlike people making the same errors, mistakes and taking similar risks with the same procedures and believing these are experiences; it can only implies foolishness. Family issues from divorce, child care negligence, domestic molestations, emotional frustration, marital stress and fatigue and many other related or worst case scenario in families today is becoming such a great concern for me, knowing that families are not living to its purpose and fullness of beauty that it holds. I have, therefore dedicate myself to the quest passionate to helping families around the world to find the joy of oneliness in all possible situations your family is going through believing with a much adaptive mechanism I proposed many families can cope better and function and as well grow in their responsibilities to one another; husband to wife, wife to husband, parents to their children, children to their parents, and family to the society. How to Start Again and Anew: The error many commit when they dedicate themselves to a courses is by swinging into actions hoping the know how to take the necessary steps to take different from their past errors. It is truly possible this way, but this is also the best easiest way to relapse. Thus, here are better options for consideration. 1. Look Back (Instropect): look back to what you have been doing right to make your home
and what you did contributed to make your home desirable for its members, look back at those ideas troubling your hearts to improve your commitment to your spouse and your children that you have been procrastinating and hold back by negligence, look back to those things you have left undone because you felt “anyways we are still ok without doing them�, look back and take notes of how this moments and memories disgust you and left you a little happy; when we both know all you wanted is to be greatly happy. 2. Count your Costs: everything possible in life has a price tag(s), nothing existed out of tin
air nor by mere desire, but through concrete planning to know what you have, what you lack and are needed to get you that desired results. Evaluate how much you understand your spouse, your children, how much results your have gotten with the time spent with one another in your family, how much happiness and success stories you have truly shared by contributed efforts. Then, 3. Create Simple Action Statements: commitments are function of visible actions that are
performed in such a repeated manner; in time it becomes your identity, a way of life. Spouse should try and satisfy at least one of the complains of one another, sacrifice your
ego for one another to attend to the other’s need. Parent can charge and create a simple behavioural modification chart for their younger children to help them remember and keep responsible routines within and outside the home. Serious collective charge and dedication to these actions will definitely make everyone one with one another. Starting these three steps may seemed simple with a whole lot of grin on your face when you say “Simple 3 steps�, but I will tell you the only way to survive 365 days of this routines is to devote one another as a family inclusive to seeing one another achieve your goals; this is the essence of the oneliness that a family truly is, let alone making it a virtue of a lifetime. I hope these simple tips can really change some of the failing state of many families. Feel free to send in your hope and fears about building the family you dreamed of with me, I am very passionate to see your family happier and live to its fullest purpose.
Regards, Segun Fayomi Alex, Psychologist/Family Consultant. segunfayomialex@gmail.com.