Overcome hate, live better

What do you hate? Whom do you hate? Why do you hate? How do you overcome hate in your life? Our media is loaded with messages about some individual or some group that shows hatred toward another. A big challenge for many people, including seniors, is how to overcome hate.

We start with a behavior of dislike, aversion or contempt. We detest, get angry and feel envy. As we grow from childhood to adulthood, we learn hatred from our environment — family, friends, community, school, church, social groups and the news media. Our life experiences include situations where we learn to hate.

As a young boy living in an ethnic area in a large industrial city, I heard my father make comments about certain groups of people. He cried in front of the Philco radio while listening to reports about the war in Europe and the Pacific. He made ethnic slurs and hateful remarks.

Throughout our lives, we have seen protests, riots, labor strikes, marches, looting, peace marches and even marches on our national capitol building. Each side of the hate justified their actions under freedom of speech and constitutional rights. We may decry and often support in our own minds and sometimes with our actions.

With our knowledge and experience as seniors, we should set an example with helpful solutions. We have wisdom, we may be sages with perspective, and we are the source of knowledge. We do not have to be confrontational. What can you do?

Seniors should listen and learn

Challenges of Living to Age 100

Ed Baranowski

with understanding and acknowledge the different sides to an issue. Rather than jump in with your point of view, ask “what lessons have we learned?”

Playback (reflect on what has been said) to help the parties find a solution. Share your own ideas.

With learned skills, you can overcome hate with negotiation, mediation and peacemaking techniques. People want to win. Provide win-win solutions. A local group called Braver Angels works to bring civility to political debates and disputes. The key is understanding how and why people on each side feel about an issue.

Be part of the solution. Involve your family in discussions, understand their reference point that is most often social media and internet sources. Check your bumper stickers. Engage your brain before you speak. Challenge yourself to be a peacemaker. SL

Ed Baranowski is an awardwinning writer, artist, speaker, and seminar leader. He lives in Melbourne Florida and can be contacted at fast75sr@gmail.com