Nurturing Yourself(Caregiver, Wife, Husband, Boss , Parent) While Maintaining Balance
Results of Survey Monkey From Argentum Attendees Survey Monkey was sent to 88 attendees. 14 attendees responded. Questions were: 1. What is the most difficult part of your job? Responses were: Staffing, task completion, answering every call from families, MD, associate coaching, discipline, always on call, balancing work and life, prioritizing, dealing with interruptions
Question 2, What do you do to nurture yourself during difficult times? Responses were: Massage, prayer, cry, I don’t, horseback riding, exercising, talk with friends, collaborate with my management team, nothing, take time to do the things I enjoy when I have free time, hot shower, glass of wine, long walk, Focus on the little victories, rest, sex, meditate, ??
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Question 3. How do you maintain balance in your position so that you can take care of yourself for the long haul?
Responses were:
I do not allow myself to be stressed, I do not bring it home, not much, take consistent periodic vacations, incorporate systems, protocols and routine as much as possible, make sure I take time for myself and family, have not been able to find a good balance yet, have to have people you can trust and depend on so everything doesn’t fall on me, I try to use laughter every day but I am terrible about balancing my life and work,make sure to disconnect enough from the operations to breathe a little,I don’t do a very good job of that, I sweat the small stuff and I look at things as opportunities not problems, I don’t, I don’t ,I don’t, stay organized so my down time doesn’t have chaotic worry associated with the time,
Question 4. What did you learn early on that has helped you the most in creating balance in your life? Responses were: •
Family, knowing when to step away regardless of the long to do list, nothing this is a juggling game, I know what I need to do but just haven’t started yet, work hard play hard, have confidence that you are at this job for a reason, senior living is never black and white, it’s a gray area at all times, work will always be there, I can’t do everything, need to depend on others, try to choose your battles, it will be there tomorrow, take PTO and handle grievances promptly, I am the owner of my time-do not allow others to monopolize my time and energy, respondent skipped this question, personal time is extremely important
Who is SAMHSA and what do they have to do with wellness? Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services of America SAMHSA defines wellness not as the absence of disease, illness, or stress but the presence of purpose in life, active involvement in satisfying work and play, joyful relationships, a healthy body and living environment, and happiness.
SAMHSA‘s Eight Dimensions of Wellness •
1.Emotional
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Coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships
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Listen to your feelings
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Surround yourself with positive people
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Talk to people you trust about your feelings
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Maintain a positive outlook
2. Environmental Good health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-being.
A positive environment has a calming effect Find surroundings that encourage good physical and mental health Be sure that your environment is a safe one
3. Financial •
Satisfaction with current and future financial situations
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Establish good financial habits
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Plan for the future
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Make it a point to understand your finances
4. Intellectual Recognizing creative abilities and finding ways to expand knowledge and skills
Be a life long learner by expanding your knowledge Find creative outlets that stimulate your mind and sense of curiousity Be open to new ideas, insights, and wisdom
5. Occupational Personal satisfaction and enrichment from one’s work Examine what you are passionate about whether it is your work, community volunteering
6. Physical Recognizing the need for physical activity, healthy foods, and sleep
Reduce your risk of many illnesses by increasing your activity Get restful sleep at night
Choose healthy foods especially during times of stress Explore outdoors to reduce stress and increase energy levels
7. Social Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a welldeveloped support system
Make at least one social contact a day Create healthy friendships
Continue to build and maintain contact with your support system
8. Spiritual Expanding a sense of purpose and meaning in life Enhance your connection to self, nature, and others bring balance and peace to your life. Take time to discover what values and beliefs are most important to you.
Building your team •
Start from the beginning in learning what motivates each employee, Have them complete this sheet:
These are a few of my favorite things . . . . Favorite color___________ Favorite Flower__________ Favorite Season_________ Favorite Animal___________ Favorite Lunch Restaurant______________ Favorite Dinner Restaurant______________
Favorite Ice Cream/Yogurt_______________ Favorite Soft Drink, Juice, Coffee, Tea__________
Favorite Candy________ Favorite Sports Team___________
Favorites continued •
Favorite Hobby or Pasttime_______________
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Favorite Music_________ Favorite place to shop___________
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Do you like to go to Movies___ The Zoo_____ Museum____
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The Symphony___
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Do you prefer(circle your preference)
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Verbal words of thanks given privately or
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Verbal recognition given publicly
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A written note of appreciation or
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A certificate of appreciation
Resiliency and why it is important •
According to Nan Henderson,MSW
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People successfully overcome life difficulties by drawing upon internal qualities that research has shown to be helpful when encountering a crisis, major stressor, or trauma.
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You can best help yourself to be more resilient by:
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What is right with you is more powerful that anything wrong with you.
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Identify your strengths and use these to overcome weaknesses
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Having patience . . Successfully bouncing back from a significant trauma or crisis takes time.
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Any problem that occurs 3 times, needs to be addressed. Put in place a system to resolve it.
Resiliency Quiz by Nan Henderson •
PART ONE:
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Do you have the conditions in your life that research shows help people to be resilient?
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People bounce back from tragedy, trauma, risks, and stress by having the following “protective” conditions in their lives. The more times you answer yes (below), the greater the chances you can bounce back from your life’s problems “with more power and more smarts.” And doing that is a sure way to increase self-esteem.
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Answer yes or no to the following. Celebrate your “yes” answers and decide how you can change your “no” answers to “yes.” (You can also answer “sometimes” if that is more accurate than just “yes” or “no”.)
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1. Caring and Support
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______ I have several people in my life who give me unconditional love, nonjudgmental listening, and who I know are “there for me.”
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______ I am involved in a school, work, faith, or other group where I feel cared for and valued.
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______ I treat myself with kindness and compassion, and take time to nurture myself (including eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise).
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2. High Expectations for Success
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2. High Expectations for Success
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______ I have several people in my life who let me know they believe in my ability to succeed.
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______ I get the message “You can succeed,” at my work or school.
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______ I believe in myself most of the time, and generally give myself positive messages about my ability to accomplish my goals– even when I encounter difficulties.
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3. Opportunities for Meaningful Participation ______ My voice (opinion) and choice (what I want) is heard and valued in my close personal relationships. ______ My opinions and ideas are listened to and respected at my work or school. ______ I volunteer to help others or a cause in my community, faith organization, or school.
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4. Positive Bonds
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______ I am involved in one or more positive after-work or afterschool hobbies or activities.
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______ I participate in one or more groups (such as a club, faith community, or sports team) outside of
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______ I feel “close to” most people at my work or school.
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5. Clear and Consistent Boundaries
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______ Most of my relationships with friends and family members have clear, healthy
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boundaries (which include mutual respect, personal autonomy, and each person in the
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relationship both giving and receiving).
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______ I experience clear, consistent expectations and rules at my work or in my school.
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______ I set and maintain healthy boundaries for myself by standing up for myself, not letting
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others take advantage of me, and saying “no” when I need to.
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6. Life Skills
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______I have (and use) good listening, honest communication, and healthy conflict resolution
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skills.
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______I have the training and skills I need to do my job well, or all the skills I need to do well in
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school.
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______I know how to set a goal and take the steps to achieve it.
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Personal Resiliency Builders
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(Individual Qualities that Facilitate Resiliency)
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Put a by the top three or four resiliency builders you use most often. Ask yourself how you
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have used these in the past or currently use them. Think of how you can best apply these
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resiliency builders to current life problems, crises, or stressors.
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(Optional) You can then put a + by one or two resiliency builders you think you should add to
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your personal repertoire.
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□ Relationships — Sociability/ability to be a friend/ability to form positive relationships
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□ Service – Giving of yourself to help other people; animals; organizations; and/or social causes
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□ Humor — Having and using a good sense of humor
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□ Inner Direction — Basing choices/decisions on internal evaluation (internal locus of control)
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□ Perceptiveness — Insightful understanding of people and situations
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□ Independence — “Adaptive” distancing from unhealthy people and situations/autonomy
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□ Positive View of Personal Future – Optimism; expecting a positive future
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□ Flexibility — Can adjust to change; can bend as necessary to positively cope with situations
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□ Love of Learning — Capacity for and connection to learning
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□ Self-motivation — Internal initiative and positive motivation from within
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□ Competence — Being “good at something”/personal competence
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□ Self-Worth — Feelings of self-worth and self-confidence
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□ Spirituality — Personal faith in something greater
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□ Perseverance — Keeping on despite difficulty; doesn’t give up
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□ Creativity — Expressing yourself through artistic endeavor, or through other means of
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creativity
Credits •
Thanks to Argentum for giving me the opportunity to share this presentation
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Thanks to Janice Livingston for her technical support