andSEX RELATIONSHIPS

BY SARAH SUYDAM

BOOK THE PHOTOSHOOT —YOU DESERVE IT!

Recently, I had the pleasure of having a photo shoot with Elise Kutt, Photographer and Owner of Mod Bettie Portrait Boutique—something I’d been wanting to do for years. I’d marveled at the many gorgeous images shared by my friends and acquaintances over the years from their own sessions (ranging from personal branding to boudoir and everything in between) and had always thought, “Wow. How beautiful! One day, I’ll do that, too.”

I’m not entirely sure what held me back from booking the shoot sooner (I was no stranger to the camera in my early 20s), but it almost felt like I needed a reason or “excuse” to make it happen— which is so not true. Something came over me one day and I finally decided: Now is the time! And it was everything I’d hoped it would be.

“Book with a photographer that you can trust to handle all the details so you can focus only on showing up. Actually booking the shoot is hard enough for so many women; the planning process leading up to shoot day shouldn’t be,” Kutt said. “A series of coaching emails leading up to the shoot, a huge wardrobe closet to choose from, hair and makeup on site and professional pose coaching would be the top services to look for when selecting your empowerment photographer.”

Here are a few reasons I found the experience to be empowering and would do it again in a heartbeat (and would encourage you to consider something similar, too)!

IT’S A CHANCE TO FEEL PAMPERED.

The theme of the shoot was “Versaille,” so I truly felt like royalty through the whole experience. I arrived with a full face of glam (though hair and makeup services are available), ready to dust off the cobwebs in the part of my brain that used to remember how to pose. I was able to browse through an unbelievable closet of extravagant robes and dresses to choose exactly which one felt like “me.” I landed on a long dusty blue dress and robe with frills to the gills—peak rich aunt vibes. Though I did an individual shoot, the experience is also one that can be easily shared among friends (and a bottle of champagne).

YOU CAN COME AS YOU ARE.

While you can get glammed up in any way you choose for your photos, it’s also a chance to embrace any perceived imperfections you may have about yourself. From dimples and wrinkles to scars and stretch marks, they’re all a reminder that aging is a privilege—one we get to experience, if we’re lucky. Showing them off while feeling like a movie star truly feels like an act of rebellion and radical self-love. I asked Elise her thoughts on this.

“The self-acceptance journey is just that, a practice. If we get more comfortable seeing ourselves on camera, we can start to connect our thoughts about the way we feel in our body and take a step toward accepting the parts we sometimes don’t love,” Kutt said. “Mod Bettie takes more of an art therapy approach to our sessions, using the camera as a form of art therapy. The idea is that if we document our bodies more frequently, especially in images we love, we are doing deep, sometimes uncomfortable, work to connect to it.”

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YOU LEAVE FEELING FABULOUS.

During the shoot, Elise’s direction and feedback made me feel like I was a total pro— there was no intimidation factor. I left the studio feeling confident, accomplished and like a certified goddess with no regrets. My session was in the morning on a Saturday, so I had the rest of the day to revel in the good vibes and take my hair and makeup out on the town (even if just to grocery shop).

YOU’RE LEFT WITH AMAZING IMAGES.

I felt plenty of anticipation while waiting to see my final images, and I even had moments of self-doubt, wondering if they’d match the feeling of how awesome I felt at the time. Spoiler: They did! I even decided to purchase some extra images. And a bonus, if you chose the boudoir route, is that it can also make for a spicy gift for your significant other!

“The images are really a bi-product of the empowerment experience, but having portraits of yourself that you love is a great way to reflect back on your growth journey and remember the invincible power you felt on shoot day,” Kutt said.

While it’s important we remember to care for the relationships we have with others, it’s also paramount we nurture the one we have with ourselves. Sometimes, that means doing things “for no reason,” like a just-for-fun photoshoot. We shouldn’t have to feel afraid or ashamed of our beauty, sexuality and multifaceted layers. Capturing the beauty of who you are in photos is something beautiful in itself; a lasting image of a moment in time that gets to live on for generations to come.

If you’re still thinking about it, just take my word for it: Book the shoot.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT’S TIME FOR COUPLES THERAPY?

Therapy is already a topic that comes along with a stigma. Throw couples into the mix and it becomes even more taboo. Seeking counseling in your relationship often comes with the assumption that said relationship is doomed or failing, which of course, is untrue. Thankfully, more and more people and couples are acknowledging the benefits of seeking counseling. However, it may be tough to recognize when it’s time to seek out help from the pros.

We sat down with Bob Eggleston, MA, LPC from Mindful Counseling GR, to learn more.

According to Eggleston, couples counseling is individual work that is shared with your partner.

“Counseling seeks to provide a space where a couple can identify issues, challenge cognitive and emotional distortions, and experience change together on a consistent basis while being supported externally by a therapist,” he said. “Couples work involves focusing on the self and the areas in which you can make changes. No matter the length of a relationship, it can help individuals navigate any romantic and platonic relationships they find themselves in.”

Couples counseling offers an environment for growth and progress, but you might not be sure it’s the right time to pursue the idea. Eggleston suggests considering counseling if you’re experiencing the following:

1. When you are feeling distant from your partner but the conversations feel superficial or empty.

2. When you are searching for ways to be alone physically and emotionally from your partner.

3. When you begin to have more dialogues with your partner in your mind rather than in real life.

Even then, how do you bring up the idea—which can be a sensitive topic—to your partner?

“Begin with acknowledging within yourself the reasons you want to begin couples therapy,” Eggleston said. “Explain to your partner what it is you’re feeling is missing with a focus on what is missing, not on whose fault it is. Emphasize how counseling could be an act of love you do for each other. The act of going to therapy can be seen as effort being put into the relationship.”

Eggleston has seen countless positive outcomes from many couples who have embarked on a counseling journey together.

“As a therapist, the times I have seen couples therapy achieve its goals are when each individual in the couple accepts the part they have played and puts effort into making the necessary changes,” he said. “They stay focused on themselves, rather than on how much the other person needs to change.” WMW

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IIt’s no secret that women have plenty on their plate and are giving of themselves constantly in both a personal and professional way, with many women increasingly examining the specific relationship between their occupation and overall identity.

Ponder the question: Who am I if someday, without warning, that aspect of my life went away? What is left?

In the era of the “girl boss,” it’s imperative to recognize that women are more than the labor we do—and you don’t have to feel guilty about embracing that. Your work—no matter how much you love it and how proud of it you are—does not have to define who you are as a person. So, what does?

We sat down with Jackie Green, Host of the “Gray & Green Show” on 105.3 HOT-FM and Mrs. America 2021, to get her perspective on the topic.

Green, who is currently also a nation-wide pageant and life coach for teens and women, emphasizes the importance of having an identity separate from your work.