San Francisco Bay Times - September 21, 2017

September 21 - October 4, 2017 | sfbaytimes.com

Going Above and Beyond for others

PHOTO COURTESY OF OUTWARD BOUND CALIFORNIA

SEE PAGES 16–17

PHOTO BY BILL WILSON

San Francisco Mayoral Candidate Mark Leno

Remembering Edie Windsor (1929-2017) See Page 6

In the News Compiled by Dennis McMillan City Seeks Answers After Murder of Popular LGBTQ DJ Anthony ‘Bubbles’ Torres “The San Francisco Police Department is working vigorously to solve the homicide case of Anthony ‘Bubbles’ Torres,” Mayor Ed Lee said in a statement following the September 9 early morning killing of the beloved LGBTQ DJ and nightlife personality, who was fatally shot in the Tenderloin.

Mayor Lee continued, “While initial reports do not indicate that the killing was motivated by hate, we are nonetheless shocked and saddened that one of San Francisco’s most colorful activists has been lost to violence.” He added that they are asking the community to cooperate with the police so they can bring Bubbles’ killer to justice. “In the wake of Bubbles’ death, we want to express our support for members of the LGBT community affected by this terrible news,” Lee continued. “San Francisco is a place of love, peace and compassion, and we want every person who lives in this City to feel secure and protected. We ask any residents who are feeling unsafe to contact the SF LGBT Center at 415-865-5555 for information on support resources and grief counseling.” Supervisor Jane Kim informed the San Francisco Examiner that a mural may be created in honor of Torres, should a site for it be secured and if enough funds for the artwork are raised. sfgov.org and sfexaminer.com/s-f-may-honor-slain-lgbtdj-mural/ Care2 Petition Calls for Renaming SF Street After ‘Bubbles’ A Care2 petition is asking San Francisco to rename Myrtle Street in the Tenderloin after the aforementioned Bubbles. The petition (http://www. thepetitionsite.com/984/961/601/) as of this writing has nearly 12,000 supporters. After Anthony Torres was killed at the corner of Larkin and Myrtle streets, many San Franciscans took to social media to mourn, filling Bubbles’ Facebook page with videos and photos of moments they had shared with him. “I have talked to San Franciscans who say Bubbles was a welcoming, loving, and beautiful person.

They say he embodied San Francisco’s ethos: be whoever you want to be,” writes Care2 petition author and San Francisco resident Julie Mastrine.

“Many have said they would love to see Bubbles memorialized by the City in some way: perhaps by renaming Myrtle Street in the Tenderloin to Bubbles Street.” meltwaterpress.com Harvey Milk Plaza Re-Design Competition Narrowed to Three Choices By the end of this month, we should know which Bay Area design team will be chosen to re-design Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro. As of this writing, there are three finalists: Groundworks Off ice, Kuth|Ranieri Architects, and Perkins Eastman. “We are excited to share these three finalists who represent very distinct design approaches that re-envision this important public space,” said Andrea Aiello, who is President of the Friends of Harvey Milk Plaza and Executive Director of Castro/Upper Market Community Benefit District. “Recognizing the important role of the community, two community meetings were held back in January to kick-off this redesign effort. We then took that input and folded it into the design brief and now we are asking the public, especially the Castro and the LGBT community, to respond to the shortlisted designs.”

Public comment ends today, September 21. (If you read this article by the end of today, the survey is at neighborland.com/harveymilk). Images showing the various design options are at:

archpaper.com/2017/09/design-harvey-milk-plaza-three-proposals/ Hundreds Gather at National AIDS Memorial Grove to Dedicate Newly-Built Hemophilia Memorial The tragedy of HIV/AIDS in the hemophilia community can never be forgotten, said National AIDS Memorial Grove sponsors on September 16. The Hemophilia Memorial, located within the Moonwalk Crescent of Golden Gate Park, is now a place where people can grieve, remember, and look to the future with hope. In the early days of the AIDS epidemic, over 50% of U.S. hemophiliacs died from the disease as a result of our nation’s contaminated blood supply. The memorial serves as an important reminder of all of those lives, and pays tribute to the courage and activism of this community, which worked tirelessly to ensure America’s blood supply is safe and that this tragedy will never happen again. aidsmemorial.org/news/hemophilia Construction to Begin on Jane Warner Plaza Art Installation Work is scheduled to start on the newest addition to Jane Warner Plaza in the Castro. Entitled “The Seed,” this will be an art installation of six 13-foot-tall abstract dandelion LED light features. The first step will be to empty the plaza’s planters and to pour cement for the installation’s foundation. The area around the planters will be taped off to pedestrians. As a result, the regular “Live! in the Castro” events will have to be rescheduled. This construction will not affect the streetcars running while cement dries. It will take 25 days for the cement to harden, before the installation can proceed. The tentative grand unveiling will be Friday, October 27. hoodline.com California Lawmakers Approve ‘Sanctuary State’ Bill On September 16, California lawmakers approved SB-54, or the so-called “Sanctuary State” bill. If, as expected, Governor Jerry Brown signs it, the bill would put new restrictions on interactions between local law enforcement and federal immigration authorities. Democrats believe the bill will help to ensure that immigrants feel safe reporting crimes to law enforcement. SB-54 is only one of many efforts by immigrant-rights advocates to counter President Donald Trump’s campaign pledge to increase deportations. nbcbayarea.com Discriminatory Ban Already Harming Transgender Troops and the U.S. Military Lambda Legal and OutServe-SLDN have asked a federal court to immediately halt all steps taken to implement the Trump Administration’s discriminatory plan to ban transgender individuals from serving openly in the U.S. Armed Services. These organizations believe that the ban has already caused harm to transgenders in the military, not to mention the transgender community as a whole, and have filed a motion for preliminary injunction in the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Washington. The motion asks the court to preliminarily enjoin the government from taking actions inconsistent with the military policy that existed prior to July 26, 2017, under which transgender service members were allowed to serve openly, and transgender Americans seeking to join the military had a path forward for doing so. In the lawsuit, Lambda Legal and OutServe-SLDN are now (continued on page 30) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

S EPT EM BER 21, 2017

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A Love Affair with Edie Windsor

Edie had just finished a formal press conference, but she really wanted to be where her heart was: with all of the LGBTQ people gathered outside the Supreme Court that historic day. Edie was not to be denied—either before the Justices of the Court or with the LGBTQ community on the Court steps. As her legal team attempted to marshal her off the Supreme Court plaza, Edie, like the 84-year-old lesbian fireball of spirit, energy, and joy she was, stretched out her arms—really her entire body—to be part of all those gathered, including us.

Michael and Robert recount in The People’s Victory how Edie and Thea flew to Toronto, Canada, and were married by Canada’s first openly gay judge, Justice Harvey Brownstone, in May 2007. “Thea required assistance to get on and off the plane and to disassemble and reassemble her wheelchair. Edie recalled, ‘I couldn’t put a ring on her finger without someone holding her hand out because Thea was no longer able to lift her hand herself.’”

When Thea died, Edie had to pay over $363,000 in federal estate taxes because they were lesbians and the

PHOTO BY SANDY MORRIS

When Time magazine honored Edie as Number 3 on its 2013 “Person of the Year” list, she responded: “The gay community is my ‘person of the year.’” She explained, “I am just one person who was part of the extraordinary and ongoing fight for mar-

Windsor singing with performing artist Julie Wolf during an Olivia Travel cruise in February 2017

The Supreme Court’s Windsor decision is powerful. In striking down DOMA, Justice Kennedy wrote: “DOMA instruct[ed] all federal officials, and indeed all persons with whom same-sex couples interact, including their own children, that their marriage [was] less worthy than the marriages of others.” DOMA’s purpose was to “injure” and “disparage” married same-sex couples and to make them “unequal” to everyone else. As such, DOMA violated the constitutional rights of LGBT couples.

PHOTO BY BILL WILSON

As we honor Edie at the time of her passing away, we are confident

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Windsor at the annual Dyke March in New York City

Whenever we give presentations about marriage equality, we tell Edie and Thea’s story. On one memorable occasion, a middle school student, upon hearing how unfairly DOMA had treated Edie, yelled spontaneously in front of an entire school assembly, “That’s bulls--t!”

Edie would have loved it.

Edie’s story is testament to the importance of standing up and speaking out over and over again. Her story is filled with love—and inspiration, and hope for LGBTQ people in the face of adversity. Edie embodies the power of our everyday personal stories and grassroots activism to change hearts and minds all across America all the way to the United States Supreme Court. Edie once described her experience after the Supreme Court victory to The New Yorker magazine as follows: “I don’t know how to say it that’s not corny as hell—I’ve been having a love affair with the gay community” and “I think Thea would love it.”

PHOTO BY GREG KENDALL FOR NCLR

A key reason for urgency on Edie’s part was that her partner of over 40 years, Thea, was very ill with advanced multiple sclerosis. A tireless fighter, Edie went to every rally or event she could. At an organizing meeting, Edie met MEUSA leaders Michael Sabatino and Robert Voorheis, who made the connection that led to Edie marrying Thea in Canada.

The Court found Edie’s story and the multitude of harms that DOMA inf licted on thousands and thousands of same-sex couples compelling, and declared DOMA unconstitutional. Justice Gins- Edie Windsor celebrating at the United States Supreme Court on June 26, 2015 burg later described Edie and Thea’s relationship as a “grand partnership.” At oral argument in Edie’s case, Justice Ginsburg opined that while heterosexual couples have “full marriage,” DOMA relegated same-sex couples like Edie and Thea to a second class, “skim milk marriage.”

PHOTO BY THE DUSTY REBEL

Although we met Edie Windsor only once, we’ll never forget the moment. It was on the steps of the United States Supreme Court back in March 2013, just minutes after the U.S. Supreme Court had concluded oral arguments in Edie’s landmark lawsuit challenging the socalled Defense of Marriage Act (“DOMA”).

PHOTO BY BILL WILSON

Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis

Windsor as Grand Marshall of the D.C. Pride Parade in June 2017

that the community—and America’s—love affair with Edie will live on for generations to come.

John L ewis and Stuar t Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008.

Their leadership in the grassroots organization Mar riage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.

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6/26 and Beyond

Edie was a long-time grassroots activist. She was an early active member of Marriage Equality New York, then Marriage Equality USA (MEUSA), the grassroots organization with which we worked for many years. Always feisty and outspoken, Edie recounted in the new anthology The People’s Victory how, when an LGBT leader at a community meeting urged patience in seeking marriage equality, she raised her hand and demanded: “I’m 77 years old and I can’t wait!! What do we have to do?”

federal government would not recognize their marriage. Edie wanted to rectify this injustice through a federal lawsuit. When a number of LGBT leaders and organizations believed that her case was not the best one to challenge DOMA, Edie persisted and found private counsel to bring the case.

Eventually, everyone— including the U.S. Justice Department itself— worked to achieve victory at the Supreme Court.

PHOTO BY TED EYTAN

riage equality for all our families.

There are thousands of people who helped us come this far and we still have a lot more work to do … . I look forward to continuing to fight for equal rights and educate the public about our lives alongside my gay brothers and sisters and our allies.”

Oakland Stands Up to DACA Threats with New Resolution our society. Deporting DACA youth would tear apart families and communities, and adversely impact our economy and nation.

Oakland, like a growing number of municipalities around the country, is standing up to threats against privacy and liberties by taking meaningful steps to ensure that communities are safe, and that all residents’ rights are respected so that our City may continue to thrive.

Out of the Closet and into City Hall Oakland City Councilmember At-Large, Rebecca Kaplan As the Trump administration prepares to wind down the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program, I am proud to announce that my colleagues and I on the Oakland City Council are bringing forward a Resolution (https://drive. google.com/file/d/0B-xmUQ57c5Z7SGVSUlhqSXRQVGM/view) in support of the program and the youth it was designed to protect.

The Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA) that President Obama enacted in 2012 by Presidential Executive Order is the most important and far reaching immigration reform adopted during President Obama’s eight-year Presidency. It offered thousands of young people the opportunity to come out of the shadows and live free from fear of imminent deportation.

Nearly 80 0,0 0 0 DACA youth— 220,000 who live in the Bay Area— have come forward, passed extensive background checks, and received permission to live and work in the United States. With DACA, they have advanced their education, started small businesses, and more fully established themselves as integral members of

Earlier this year, I authored a Resolution (https://drive.google.com/file/ /0B4k7eaDkAjFzZVc2bE9TVnU2O Ws/view) that stopped an agreement between the Oakland Police Department and the Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Agency. City Council unanimously passed my Resolution, furthering Oakland’s Sanctuary City status, and encouraging cooperation with local law enforcement.

I have now come together with Councilmember Brooks and Gallo to advance the aforementioned Resolution opposing any federal action that would rescind the DACA initiative, and urging Congress to immediately restore and continue the DACA program in its entirety.

In Oakland and throughout the Bay Area, we must make our voices heard.

We stand by our immigrant brothers and sisters, and recognize the contributions of immigrants to our neighborhoods, schools, economies, and communities.

Councilmember At-Large Rebecca Kaplan was elected in 2008 to serve as Oakland’s citywide Councilmember; she was re-elected in 2016.

She also serves on the Board of the Bay Area Air Quality Management District (BAAQMD), and as the Chair of the Alameda County Transportation Commission (ACTC).

California Advances LGBT Rights as Nation Struggles with Equality protect transgender service members from the ban.

Additionally, the American Civil Liberties Union and Equality California have filed lawsuits on behalf of transgender service members challenging the constitutionality of the ban as a violation of their equal protection rights.

Assemblymember Phil Ting The protests in Charlottesville, Virginia, last month revealed a sad fact—not all Americans believe in equality and justice for all. We subsequently saw the President defend these hateful views and, in a direct attack on the LGBT community, he signed a directive banning transgender individuals from serving in the military.

This setback for transgender rights is repulsive, but not surprising. Rolling back on the progressive actions from the Obama Administration boosts the President’s far-right supporters.

But there has been a silver lining in this storm. Allies to the community are speaking out and fighting back.

While Secretary of Defense James Mattis figures out how his department will implement the ban, Senators Kirsten Gillibrand (D-New York) and Susan Collins (R-Maine) have introduced an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act to 8

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Whatever it takes, whether it is through Congress or through the courts, we will fight this injustice together, because civil rights are meaningful only when they apply the same to everyone.

While California can’t pass legislation impacting military service, we passed Assembly Joint Resolution 24, which calls on Mattis to continue allowing transgender service members to serve their country and declares that: “There is no lawful or practical reason to force service members who are able to fight, train, and deploy to leave our military—regardless of their gender expression or gender identity.”

The California State Legislature has also passed key bills to further protect the rights and dignity of the LGBT community. If signed by Governor Jerry Brown, California will show the nation that there is another path than the direction the White House is taking us. And, it’s much better!

Senate Bill (SB) 179, the Gender Recognition Act of 2017, would create (continued on page 30)

Speaking Up for Title IX in the Age of Trump

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter This has been a time of cutting through a lot of “noise.” There’s the noise about a White House press secretary alarmingly deeming it a “fireable offense” for an ESPN African American female sports journalist to have called out the President for favoring, apparently being, and surrounding himself with white supremacists in the White House. There’s the bothersome, nattering chatter about whether or not former Secretary of State and the first almost first woman President Hillary Clinton—who handily won the popular vote despite Russia’s interference in our 2016 election to favor her opponent—should continue speaking up and out about “what happened” that led to her loss to a misogynist realtor and reality TV game show host.

What is disturbing about the narratives surrounding Jemele Hill’s personal tweets and Hillary Clinton’s embarking upon her What Happened book tour is the similar treatment of U.S. Senators Kamala Harris and

To me, the noise isn’t at all what these women are saying; the noise emits from the rapid shut-down response to what they are saying—especially if it is critical of harm caused by a famously sexist, thin-skinned authoritarian president. Whether or not Jemele should be fired (she shouldn’t), or Hillary should take more personal blame for a tragically failed bid for the presidency, the “how dare she speak her own mind” rapid response playbook dictates an immediate shutdown to whatever she is actually saying or inferred to be saying.

There’s plenty of other noise out there in the atmosphere surrounding all sorts of issues, as well as plenty of serious issues over which we should continue to make a great deal of noise to forward much-needed resistance to injustice. One such issue concerns the historic Title IX. Many recall a key origin of Title IX to literally level the playing field to provide equal opportunities and resources in men and women’s athletic programs. Title IX enacted that “no person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving federal finance assistance.”

President Obama in 2011 augmented Title IX to address the need for academic institutions to take serious-

ly, and better respond to, sexual violence and harassment. Now, upon this 45th Anniversary year of Title IX, Trump’s obsession to obliterate nearly all progressive policy testament to the existence of an Obama Presidency would appear to have a willing partner in U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos to scrub away and roll back this much-needed provision.

DeVos proposes to revise, or in effect, gut the historic Title IX of provisions concerning response to sexual assault and harassment on college campuses. Citing overreaching, confusing guidelines for on campus due process to hear complaints—or what right wing critics offensively refer to as Kangaroo courts—as presenting “unintended consequences” resulting in a financial burden to colleges, and potentially unfair treatment of accused perpetrators, DeVos plans to “course correct” to be fair to—here it comes—all sides.

Under the administration of a President who has famously and long demonstrated a serious lack of respect for women, especially for the many who have stepped forward over the years to speak their truths as survivors of his serial sexual harassment and assaults, this so-called course correction to make sure all sides are treated fairly will be alarmingly interesting, to say the least. With nearly 57 percent of the accused being overwhelmingly male and white, the symmetry between Trump and this slice of his core fraternal constituency speaks stereo-phonic, level 11 volumes. It’s deafening.

In 1972, Title IX was enacted to uplift the opportunities, experiences,

PHOTO BY RINK

Elizabeth Warren for being cut off in their allotted time for questioning in committee hearings or for address on the senate floor. The all-too-common response denominator: castigate women for speaking their own truths and truth to power.

San Francisco Bay Times columnist Andrea Shorter (second from left) was among the leaders on the steps of San Francisco City Hall when entertainer MC Hammer spoke and sang during Mayor Lee’s Unite Against Hate rally on August 25.

and voices of women above the very real noise that amplified and codified sexism, inequality and injustice.

Tomorrow (September 22, in select cities before wider 9/29 release) the biopic Battle of the Sexes will be released. The movie depicts the events surrounding the 1973 famous match waged by notorious chauvinist Bobby Riggs against now tennis goddess Billie Jean King to prove men’s superiority over women. We all know how that match went down, but we should still go see the movie. I expect it will remind those of us who were conscientious at that time—and demonstrate to those who came later—the importance of both Title IX and the women who, by refusing to have their voices shut-down, changed the world.

We’ve come a long way in 45 years, but sexism still exists and persists, as we are regularly reminded by our President. We cannot allow the voices of survivors and allies to be subjected to rapid shut-down when speaking up and out to protect Title IX. Let’s make our own very real, and loud, noise by contacting our representatives and urging that they fight like Billie Jean King to protect Title IX. Andrea Shorter is President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights, and marriage equality. A co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

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S EPT EM BER 21, 2017

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Lavender Legends of the Silent Screen

Faces from Our LGBT Past Dr. Bill Lipsky The movies’ first action hero. The personif ication of modern American youth, vigor, and attitude. The most prolific woman director in Hollywood history. The greatest star of stars. All were pioneers in the world’s most popular art form. Each set precedents, created role models and influenced popular culture. All were members of our LGBT communities.

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In 1913, six months before Charlie Chaplin faced his first motion picture camera, J. Warren Kerrigan, in poll after poll, was the most popular movie star in the world, “the first male superstar of the cinema.” In hundreds of short films and at least a dozen features produced between 1910 and 1924, he was the dashing hero— usually a cowboy—admired for his courage, glorified for his wholesome values, and idealized for his noble qualities. If he did not always conquer the heart of the heroine, then at least he always defeated the villain.

Unknown to his admiring public, but an open secret in the film industry, this rider of the purple sage did not care to sweep any fair damsel off her feet, whether she was in distress or not. Off-screen, Kerrigan lived quietly with his mother and his lover of what would be more than 30 years, James Vincent. He cultivated his flower gardens, his favorite past time, and unlike his he-man persona, Kerrigan enjoyed the gentle and refined pleasures of life.

Kerrigan’s popularity declined rapidly at the end of the Great War—he made no movies at all between 1919 and 1923—but he returned that year to star in The Covered Wagon, considered the first epic western. Setting the standard for years to come, it was an immense success and the silent era’s eighth highest grossing film. Kerrigan, however, made one more important film before slipping into obscurity.

The Covered Wagon was edited by Dorothy Arzner. Born in San Francisco and raised in Los Angeles, Arzner began her film career by typing scripts in the story department at the Famous Players-Lasky Corporation in 1919. Within six months, she was a cutter and editor at Realart Studio, a subsidiary, where she completed more than 50 movies. She returned to the parent company in 1922 to work on its prestigious “Paramount Pictures.”

Her premier assignment: Blood and Sand, starring Rudolph Valentino.

Arzner directed her first film, Fashions for Women, in 1927. Two years later, she directed The Wild Party starring Clara Bow, then a major star. To help the actress with her first speaking part, she attached the microphone to the end of a fishing pole, which she dangled above her. Now known as a boom microphone, her invention is widely used today in film and television production. At the time, and during her entire career—she retired in 1943—she was the only woman directing films for a major Hollywood studio.

Although Arzner kept her private life private, her sexuality was well known in Hollywood. She was linked romantically with several actresses, but for

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more than 50 years shared her life with choreographer Marion Morgan, whom she met in 1921. They bought a home in 1930 at 2249 Mountain Oak Drive in Los Angeles (now worth $4.3 million) that they christened “Armor,” joining letters of their surnames together and with a nod to silent star Mary Pickford’s famous namesake home “Pickfair.”

The couple lived in the 3,600-squarefoot Greek Revival in the Los Feliz’s Oaks neighborhood until they moved to Palm Springs in 1951. Theirs was one of the longest lasting marriages in Hollywood history.

Jack Wa

Equally as enduring was the relationship between William Haines and Jimmy Shields. Together for 47 years, their lifelong friend Joan Crawford described them as “the happiest married couple in Hollywood.” The two men met in 1926, the year of Haines’ breakthrough performances in Brown of Harvard and Tell It to the Marines, starring Lon Chaney, which made him MGM’s biggest box office star.

rren Kerr

igan

On screen, Haines became the exemplar of the male youth of his day—confident, irreverent, openly f lirtatious—and with his “modern attitude,” the pro- William Hain es totype of a new type of male romantic star. He remained a top box office draw until 1931. The next year, MGM fired him, possibly for becoming “too openly homosexual,” probably because of changing tastes and declining popularity. After making two low budget films in 1934 for a pov- William Ha ines inte rior desig erty row studio, he nevn er appeared onscreen again.

A second career followed, however.

For the next forty years, he was Hollywood’s most in-demand interior designer. Using split level open f loor plans, low prof ile furniture of his own design, hand-painted wallpaper, and elegant fabrics, he created the sophisticated simplicity—imitated for decades—that became known as the Hollywood Regency style. “I can only tell you this,” he said later. “I would rather have taste than either love or money.” Openly gay before, during, and after his film career, Haines had all three.

By the time Haines made his final film at MGM, the studio’s biggest star was Greta Garbo. She was, and is, legendary still, not only for her persona onscreen and off, but also for her intense relationships with both men and women. Despite the melodrama and dated sentiment of many of her films, the old-fashioned direction, costumes, hair styles, and all the rest—none of it matters the moment she appears on the screen. She may not have been the movie’s finest actor, but she arguably was, and will always be, the greatest movie star of them all.

Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San FrancisGreta G arbo, 19 co” (2006), is a member of the 31 Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

Dorothy Arzner and Clara Bow

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978

How Should We Speak to Each Other?

Part 3: Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves With these words, in his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, Marshall Rosenberg (1934 –2015) challenged us to imagine what life would be like if we stopped “shoulding” ourselves. For most of us, this is almost impossible to picture because we live with a tyrannical “inner critic” that vigilantly watches every step we take and criticizes us relentlessly if we fall short of its standards.

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT “In our language, there is a word w ith enormous power to create shame and guilt. This violent word, which we commonly use to evaluate ourselves, is so deeply ingrained in our consciousness that many of us would have trouble imagining how to live without it. It is the word ‘should,’ as in ‘I should have known better’ or ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’ Most of the time when we use this word with ourselves, we resist learning because ‘should’ implies that there is no choice. Human beings, when hearing any kind of demand, tend to resist because it threatens our autonomy— our strong need for choice. We have this reaction to tyranny even when it’s internal tyranny … .”

But even when the inner critic makes our lives miserable, most of us can’t imagine living without it because we believe that if it went away, all motivation and self-discipline would go, too. Rosenberg’s theories about nonviolent communication (NVC) challenge this widespread notion that blame, judgment and guilt are skillful ways to motivate ourselves.

Rosenberg again: “A basic premise of NVC is that whenever we imply that someone is wrong or bad, what we are really saying is that he or she is not acting in harmony with our needs. If the person we are judging happens to be ourselves, what we are saying is ‘I myself am not behaving in harmony with my own needs.’”

He continued, “Our challenge, then, when we are doing something that is not enriching life, is to evaluate ourselves moment by moment in a way that inspires change both in the direction of where we would like to go,

and out of respect and compassion for ourselves, rather than out of self-hatred, guilt or shame.”

How do we do this? An important first step is to ask, “What unmet need of mine is being expressed through this moralistic judgment?” To ask this question leads us to listen empathically to ourselves, which means that we’re more likely to hear the underlying needs. Rosenberg found that when we connect with these needs, a remarkable shift occurs in our bodies.

Instead of the deadening shame, guilt, and depression people typically feel when they are criticizing themselves, we “experience any number of feelings. Whether it’s sadness, frustration, disappointment, fear, grief, or some other feeling, we have been endowed by nature with these feelings for a purpose: they mobilize us for action in pursuing and fulfilling what we need or value. Their impact on our spirit and bodies is substantially different from the disconnection that is brought on by guilt, shame, and depression.”

What we typically experience first when we do this is sadness, which is the regret we see that we haven’t been acting in our own best interests. But when we’re focused on what we need, a deep self-forgiveness follows almost automatically, and we’re naturally motivated to pursue the possibilities

for meeting our needs. In contrast, the moralistic judgments we use when blaming ourselves tend to obscure such possibilities and to perpetuate a state of self-punishment. We then cultivate self-compassion, as Rosenberg wrote, “by consciously choosing in daily life to act only in service to our own needs and values rather than out of duty, for extrinsic rewards, or to avoid guilt, shame, and punishment.”

A more psychologically radical approach to life would be hard to imagine. Many will simply dismiss the idea out of hand on the grounds that it is a completely “selfish” way to live.

But every human being on the planet wants to be respected and valued, and none of us want to be dismissed, thwarted, judged, or blamed.

We can never hope to respect others in these ways if we leave ourselves out of the equation, because if we’re harsh and lacking in compassion toward ourselves, we’ll inevitably treat others with the same level of contempt. That’s why the first step in learning to communicate nonviolently with others is to understand that self-compassion is indispensable to the process.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http:// tommoon.net/

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CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Thom Watson, Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Elisa Quinzi, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Wendy Ross, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Tom Temprano, Lou Fischer, Karin Jaffie

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GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow

Unconscious in Seattle Before we start our bimonthly examination of GLBT news and views, I wonder what you readers think of the guy that knocked the crazy Nazi to the sidewalk in Seattle the other day. You must have seen the report of how “Antifa” twitter users tracked the man, who was wearing a swastika armband and harassing people on the bus. Eventually, a big strong guy ran into Mr. Nazi on the street, Mr. Nazi said something and the guy threw one punch to the jaw, decked him and walked away.

Later, the police said the Nazi took off his armband, declined to pursue the matter and presumably slunk away.

My problem is that a large part of me enjoyed the spectacle, which naturally was captured on video and posted online. It was like a reverse hate crime. Hate crimes, by the way, are insidious because they attack— not just the immediate victim—but all those similarly situated. When a gay man is bashed walking down the street, other gay men are frightened.

So, hello neo-Nazis of Seattle! You might consider taking off your armbands and keeping your mouth shut around your fellow citizens. Or else you might be next.

Of course, that reaction would not have been a problem if I did not have an even stronger impulse to condemn violence and politically targeted violence, in particular.

But that sounds in my own head suspiciously like Donald Trump’s “bad people on both sides” crazy racist nonsense, doesn’t it?

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I think the key here is that our guy, the puncher, and our side, the twitter stalkers, identified this racist, tracked him and knocked him unconscious.

Yes, we were reacting in a way, just as the Charlottesville protesters were reacting to white supremacists on parade. But, to be honest about it, we weren’t just reacting. We identified an enemy and went after him. He may have been spouting bigoted ranting, but he was a single individual and we knocked him unconscious.

What’s the difference between what we (and I include myself, because I was deeply pleased by the entire episode) did in the Seattle case, and let’s say, getting together and burning down a Klan meeting place, or actually killing a Klansman? And for those who say that’s fine, who decides which white supremacists deserve our wrath? Law enforcement and courts?

Or the mob?

Let’s admit it. The rule of law was abandoned in Seattle, and the fact that many of us applauded right along with that is chilling.

Oh, and is it a thing now that anyone who stands up against racism is part of some formal “Antifa” organization?

Back to the Grindstone for SCOTUS Moving right along, over the last year or so, I’ve almost felt guilty for my relentless coverage of Masterpiece Cakeshop’s petition for Supreme Court review. Loyal readers recall that the High Court sat on the case for months, neither rejecting nor accepting the debate between the wedding cake baker and Colorado’s gay rights bill. It wasn’t news yet, but it was lurking under the surface, ready to rear its ugly head. Now, like a pessimistic weatherman in a category four hurricane, I have been vindicated.

Changing the subject briefly, it bothers me when people say “Cat Four” or “Cat Five” as if they themselves were meteorologists chatting with co-workers down at the storm center. How hard is it to say “category”? I feel the same way about most profession-

al verbal shortcuts, and I also hate it when commentators use arcane acronyms. Speak clearly, everyone. We’re not all too cool for school.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Masterpiece Cakeshop! I have been vindicated because Masterpiece is now the darling of constitutional journalists, popping up on everyone’s radar now that the High Court has accepted review.

And, as I feared (this section seems to be all about me), the facts of the litigation set themselves up perfectly for armchair lawyers to hem and haw about thorny constitutional issues that a) misrepresent the situation, and b) are not even that thorny.

How can the government “force” the poor Christian baker, Jack Phillips, to put his talent and art in the service of a union that defies his faith? How can the state oblige Jack to add his voice to the choir now singing to celebrate the sinful wedding? (Quite easily, actually. Faith doesn’t trump civil rights law, and making cakes does not qualify as speech.)

But but, um um um, what about the Jewish baker who doesn’t want to make a swastika cake! What about him, huh?

At the risk of repeating myself, no one asked Jack Phillips to make a penis cake or produce anything inappropriate. In fact, no one asked Phillips for anything. As soon as Phillips realized his clients were two engaged men looking to celebrate their wedding, he refused to do business with them, period.

Please indulge me yet again, dear readers. We have to keep repeating these observations until people stop whining about them. No baker is ever required to create a hateful or obscene product simply because a customer requests such a thing. Years ago, I covered a New Jersey baker who refused to write “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” on a cake (that was meant for a three-year-old who had been named Adolf Hitler). And in Colorado not that long ago, some joker tried to order a cake with an antigay message to illustrate this nonpoint. The baker declined to fill the order, and the customer’s “discrimination” complaint was dismissed.

Because it’s not discriminatory to decline a specific order. It’s discriminatory to decline to do business with a protected category of clients.

As for the baker’s “artistic” freedom of expression, virtually all service providers can make the claim that they too are “artists,” injecting every transaction with a seed of personal creativity.

Why should the chef at the restaurant create a chef d’oeuvre for a gay table for two if he is not so inclined?

Didn’t the landlord at the picturesque inn design the garden and oversee construction of the gazebo?

Why should her landscaping talents now contribute to the success of a gay wedding? Why should she have to watch it? Why should she have to pour Champagne (which takes a certain stylistic je ne sais quoi, by the way)?

Why should she have to see those simpering guests get AIDS all over her stemware? Plus, it all goes against her faith!

Again, leaving aside religious qualms, can the state require a wedding singer, or a photographer, to put his or her artistic talents in service to a message he or she does not support? Part of the problem with Jack and his wedding cake is that no one at a wedding would associate a cake with its baker’s personal message. I’m torn, however, about the photographer, because although the wedding album is certainly not the artistic vision of the photographer, the composition of a photograph and the creative energy of capturing the event does seem to

reflect something of the person who wields the camera.

As for the wedding singer, I don’t think he or she can be required to sing at a wedding that he or she doesn’t support.

And herein lies a problem with the Masterpiece Cakeshop case. Like all Supreme Court cases it’s not 100 percent clear cut. But that does not mean that the outcome should be muddled or partial or compromised. Far from it, because any compromise in this case will eviscerate anti-discrimination laws protecting the GLBT community, and perhaps do even more damage. Why should a baker have to serve an interracial couple if she opposes such unions? Why should a chauvinist mechanic help a woman driver? You get the picture.

The High Court’s new session starts right about now, with the first conference meeting to decide on pending petitions September 25. Note that another reluctant wedding purveyor, florist Baronnelle Stutzman from the state of Washington, has asked for Supreme Court review. We are also looking for the Court to take the case of a Georgia lesbian, fired from her job in what our side believes is a violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Troubled Activist Dead for No Reason I’m sure you read about what sounds like suicide by cop by the head of the Pride Alliance at Georgia Tech, Scout Schultz. Schultz, who did not identify as either male or female, reportedly called 911 and reported that a white male with long blond hair was wandering around intoxicated and carrying a gun and a knife. In fact, Schultz did not have a gun, but was carrying what looked like a Leatherman tool, kind of a Swiss army knife gadget, not something that could do anyone harm. Schultz, who yelled, “Shoot me! Shoot me!” at the compliant officers, also left several suicide notes in the dorm room.

The story is tragic, but begs the question again. Why is it that armed police seem incapable of defusing common situations? Yes, a bullet to the heart will settle the matter. And all these cops apparently have to tell a jury or a judge in order to justify deadly force is that they were scared or threatened.

But shouldn’t they be trained to handle trouble without ending the life of a 14-year-old with a toy gun, a shopper checking out a rifle in a store, or a graduate student suffering from depression? Can they not reason? Can they not tase? Can they not shoot darts or aim for a leg? Nearly two decades into the 21st century, can we not provide some technology that disables a citizen without sending him or her to the morgue as punishment for unnerving an inept police officer? Laser gun? Anything?

Houston: We Have a Problem So, speaking of the Supreme Court, the city of Houston has asked the justices to review the bizarre ruling by the Texas Supreme Court last June, in which the Lone Star justices said that the Court’s marriage equality ruling might not necessarily mean that gay couples must be given the same marriage benefits as straight couples.

Prior to the 2015 marriage equality decision, a couple of antigay taxpayers had sued Houston, insisting that the city should not be offering benefits to married gay staff. After the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell, however, most people assumed the debate of marriage rights was over.

Done. Settled. Bam. But the plaintiffs in the case against Houston insisted that marr iage (continued on page 30)

Going Above and Beyond for others Carving a Path Towards a More Compassionate Future Forty-three years ago, Shanti was founded on the principle that every person deserves compassion, connection, and human dignity. From our earliest days, Shanti called on the community to join in being the “difference between zero and one”: the difference between having one person by your side through life’s most difficult challenges or facing those challenges alone. As the landscape of our city changes, we remain at the forefront of ensuring that our most vulnerable neighbors are not forgotten in the process.

In the beginning, Shanti emerged from the halls of the UCSF cancer ward to become one of the world’s very first community-based organizations helping to support those diagnosed with HIV/AIDS during the nightmarish early days of the epidemic. In 2001, we increased services to include women diagnosed with breast cancer, and in 2015 we expanded that program to serve women facing any cancer diagnosis. Two years ago, we felt fortunate to welcome into the Shanti family our long-time community partner Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS), whose mission is to ensure that no person has to make the decision between caring for their pet or caring for themselves.

By Kaushik Roy

Thanks to the efforts of San Francisco’s LGBT Aging Policy Task Force and the Department of Aging and Adult Services, Shanti’s newest program—the LGBT Aging and Abilities Support Network (LAASN)—launched earlier this year. Designed to ensure that LGBT seniors and adults with disabilities receive a sustained network of care, LAASN uses the Shanti model of Peer Support, Care Navigation, and supportive programming to currently serve nearly 150 clients in its inaugural year.

“We are expanding the presence of compassion for all—one San Franciscan at a time.”

Although the times we live in may feel particularly difficult, for the past 43 years Shanti has endured as a steady presence of compassion and hope. Today, we serve more than 2,200 clients and more than 700 companion animals. There is indeed much to celebrate! We invite you to join us in celebration: whether it’s on September 28 at Compassion is Universal, as a peer support volunteer, or as a member of our vibrant city extending a hand to those in need. Together, we continue to carve the path towards a more compassionate future for everyone.

Kaushik Roy is the Executive Director of Shanti.

Celebrating Shanti’s 43 Years of Service to the Community

U.S. Ambassador James C. Hormel, House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, Shanti Executive Director Kaushik Roy, and the Honorable Mark Leno at Compassion is Universal 2015

If you’re seeking an opportunity to celebrate compassion in our community, look no further than Thursday evening (6–8 pm), September 28, at the Palace Hotel.

The Shanti Project will host its annual celebration, Compassion is Universal, to gather community champions and to honor those who have had a remarkable impact on the fabric of San Francisco through the years.

This heartwarming evening begins with a cocktail reception and silent auction, followed by a seated dinner and mission-focused program. This year, advocates and activists from across the city will be recognized, as Shanti publicly expresses the community’s gratitude to three very special individuals: the Honorable Mark Leno, Gerry Crowley and Chip Supanich.

Former State Senator Leno will be presented with the 2017 Nancy Pelosi Lifetime Achievement Award, recognizing his stewardship and advocacy over his nearly two decades of public service. In 1978, Leno founded his own small business, Budget Signs, Inc., which he grew alongside his life partner Douglas Jackson. For the next 10 years, the two were also engaged in a range of community service work, including fundraising efforts for HIV/AIDS services as well as for Democratic candidates.

Donna Sachet speaks during Shanti’s 40th anniversary celebration, Compassion is Universal 2014

Shanti Founder Dr. Charles Garfield, Compassion is Universal 2016

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Following Jackson’s death in 1990 from HIV/AIDS complications, Leno redoubled his commitment to public service, serving as a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from 1998 to 2002. In 2002, Leno was elected to the California State Assembly, where he represented the eastern side of San Francisco until 2008. From 2008 to 2016, Leno went on to represent San Francisco, as well as parts of Marin and San Mateo counties, in the State Senate, where he served as Chair of the Senate Budget Committee for six years. Leno left the State Legislature after 14 years of service, having built an impeccable reputation for broad-based legislative accomplishment and a legacy of coalition-building.

Shanti client and community champion Gerry Crowley will receive the 2017 Margot Murphy Inspiration Award, in recognition of Gerry’s legacy of community engagement.

A client of Shanti’s Margot Murphy Women’s Cancer Program, Gerry speaks with a deep fondness regarding her two Shanti volunteers, Kevin and Jerry. Describing Kevin and Jerry as “a blessing,” “both brilliant,” and a “solid” presence in her life, Gerry credits both volunteers with her award.

Described at times as a “one woman army” and compared to Princess Leia, Gerry first started her work in the San Francisco community as the social chair, then as board member of the Telegraph Hill Dwellers neighborhood organization. In addition to her four terms as board president, Gerry also nurtured her dedication of improving San Francisco’s parks, serving as a member of the Pioneer Park Restoration Committee, the Friends of Washington Square, and the Fay Park Advisory Board. Gerry co-founded the Neighborhood Network—comprised of a group

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The Honorable Willie L. Brown, Jr., presenting an award to honorees Janice Mirikitani and Reverend Cecil Williams, Compassion is Universal 2014

of 20 citizens from all parts of San Francisco—to meet with City department heads, commissioners, and other officials on issues critical to neighborhood residents. From her days leading Aaron Peskin’s f irst supervisorial election campaign to her four-year role as Vice Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party, Gerry continued to donate her time tutoring ESL students at Galileo High School for nine years.

Activist, advocate, client, volunteer and Shanti Board Member Chip Supanich will receive the 2017 James C. Hormel Community Spirit Award. Chip’s contributions to the web of human support and services in this city has touched countless lives, taking on topics from standing for HIV care, prevention, and support services, to defending civil and social justice rights including housing and food security. Soon after moving to San Francisco in 1994, Chip Supanich began volunteering at community-based organizations. He engaged with people by giving emotional and practical support, harm reduction services, street outreach and public health education. During the 2000s, he often spoke to the press, at volunteer trainings and in college classrooms, about the challenges he Gerry Crowley, 2017 Margot had faced with HIV, homelessness, Murphy Inspiration Award Honoree poverty, drug use, trauma, and mental health.

Discussions with colleagues and friends encouraged Chip to write a book about his life, which he completed in 2014. Less a biography, the book chronicles the many people who have broadened his horizons, spurred personal growth or otherwise altered his life in significant ways. After joining the Shanti Board of Directors in early 2009, he gained membership to various civic boards and councils, frequently accepting leadership positions as they arose. A survivor of HIV for over three decades, areas of particular interest for Chip’s advocacy work include HIV longterm survivorship, disability rights, harm reduction, public health, and addressing the needs of marginalized communities.

For tickets, volunteer opportunities, and more information regarding “Compassion is Universal” on September 28 at the Palace Hotel, please contact: specialevents@shanti.org or phone 415-625-5218. Information is also at Shanti’s website, www.shanti.org

Photos courtesy of Shanti Project

Shanti timeline

1974: Under the leadership of Dr. Charles Garfield, the first Shanti peer support volunteers are trained to be a consistent and compassionate presence at the bedside of patients in the UCSF cancer ward. This effort, led by Dr. Garfield, was one of the earliest, pioneering efforts to utilize volunteers in the support of the dying and critically sick.

August 21, 1975: The Shanti Project incorporates.

1980: The UCSF cancer ward begins to fill with patients with what would later be known as AIDS-related opportunistic infections. Dr. Garfield and Shanti are asked to shift their focus to care for people who, in those days, were dying of this new disease.

November 1, 1981: Shanti begins the first peer support groups for San Franciscans with AIDS. 1983: Shanti Project opens its first independent location at 890 Hayes Street.

1987: In the first U.S. Presidential Address on AIDS, President Reagan thanks Shanti and its volunteers for Shanti’s national leadership in the response to AIDS: “You know, it’s been said that when the night is darkest, we see the stars. And there have been some shining moments through this horrible AIDS epidemic … . Last year 450 volunteers from the Shanti Project provided 130,000 hours of emotional and practical support to 87 percent of San Francisco’s AIDS patients.”

1988: Shanti continued to expand through the 1980s to keep up with the growing need of support services during the AIDS crisis.

With 70 staff members and over 650 volunteers, Shanti in 1988 moved to 525 Howard Street to accommodate this growth.

SHANTI’S NEWEST PROGRAM: the LGBT Aging and Abilities Support Network (LAASN) “Isolation is one of the largest problems we [the aging LGBT community] face.”

- Supervisor Jeff Sheehy This past year, with support from the Department of Aging and Adult Services, Shanti officially launched its newest program, which provides supportive services to LGBT seniors and adults with disabilities.

This program is a landmark initiative, designed to meet the evolving needs of our San Francisco community.

In October 2012, the LGBT Aging Policy Task Force was formed, created to study and better understand the unique needs of LGBT seniors in our community. A host of issues affecting the aging LGBT population were identified, including a lack of services specifically dedicated to improving emotional and behavioral health and with the goal of reducing social isolation among LGBT seniors.

As a longstanding community champion fighting against isolation of those most vulnerable, Shanti was selected by the city to address this urgent and growing need. With a strong foundation well-versed in meeting life’s challenges through a continuum of services, the LAASN program tackles the prevalent issue of social isolation in a variety of ways.

Clients can be matched with a peer volunteer, who provides between 2–6 hours of one-on-one emotional and practical support. Additionally, clients of the LAASN program have a care navigator on staff who helps to navigate the often complex path to accessing care. From help with everyday tasks like laundry or pet care, to keeping medical appointments and coordinating transit, Shanti is helping to weave a safety net around LGBT seniors and adults in-need, ensuring that no one in our city walks the path of life alone.

1998: Shanti finds a permanent home in the Project Open Hand building at 730 Polk Street.

2000: San Francisco Department of Public Health notes an increase of women with breast cancer and a lack of available services.

2001: With the help of federal funds procured by U.S. Representative Nancy Pelosi, Shanti expands services and launches the LifeLines Breast Cancer Program.

2015: Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS), San Francisco’s only program dedicated to keeping homebound, disabled, and very sick individuals together with their companion animals, merges into the Shanti Project to ensure long-term sustainability.

2015: With increased support from local champions at City Hall, Shanti expands its services to treat women diagnosed with any type of cancer. Known today as the Margot Murphy Women’s Cancer Program, the program serves more than 600 women and continues to reduce the barriers that underserved women face accessing, maintaining, and completing treatment.

2016: Shanti begins offering Care Navigation and wellness services to families living in Potrero Hill public housing. The Peer Advocate Care Team (PACT) Program of Shanti represents an important expansion of Shanti’s work to improve health-related outcomes for people living in chronic conditions of poverty and frequent hardship.

2016: Shanti launches the LGBT Aging and Abilities Support Network (LAASN), providing support to reduce isolation among marginalized LGBT seniors and LGBT adults with disabilities.

Today: More than 2,200 vulnerable San Franciscans annually receive services from Shanti, through the dedicated efforts of more than 50 staff and over 700 volunteers. Through all of the organization’s various programs, Shanti has been proud to champion the power of compassion in our community for 43 years.

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HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE DE YOUNG AND LEGION OF HONOR

Sir Joshua Reynolds’ 1779–1780 Work: Anne, Viscountess Townshend, later Marchioness Townshend In the Permanent Collection of the Legion of Honor Anne Montgomery (1752–1819) was the second of three beautiful daughters of an Irish peer. Celebrated as the “Irish Graces,” the sisters were immortalized in 1773 by Sir Joshua Reynolds in a grand-manner portrait entitled Three Ladies Adorning a Term of Hymen (London, The Tate Gallery).

That same year, Anne became the second wife of George, fourth Viscount Townshend, later Marquess Townshend. In 1779–1780, she sat for Reynolds for this elegant, full-length portrait.

Conceived as a pendant to that of her husband (Toronto, Art Gallery of Ontario), both figures are rendered in rich, forceful color, posed in a sylvan setting, and draped with the ermine mantle symbolic of their temporal rank. Although the sitter’s simple gown is meant to suggest a timeless, classical ideal, Reynolds has embellished it with elements of Turkish fancy dress, popular in England during this period. Her hairstyle is fashionably contemporary.

Reynolds dominated the English school in the second half of the eighteenth century. As a young artist in Rome, he had steeped himself in the antique. Later, as president of the Royal Academy of Arts, he delivered the famous discourses on aesthetic principles.

Treating portraiture as a branch of history painting, Reynolds used classical themes, poses and statuary as references to the past. Here, the carved relief at the lower left depicts the Judgment of Paris, a popular mythological theme, with only two goddesses. Paris appears to ignore them as he offers Anne the golden apple, a witty and flattering conceit implying that Anne herself is Venus, the third and fairest.

Sir Joshua Reynolds, “Anne, Viscountess Townsend, Later Marchioness Townshend,” 1779-1780. Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, Roscoe and Margaret Oakes Collection, 75.2.13

For more information about the Legion of Honor: https://legionofhonor.famsf.org/

“ Bet ty’s List ” and Blue Water Ventures presents…

Gender Norms and the Bias Against Boys Wearing Pink

By Lyndsey Schlax (Editor’s Note: Teacher Lyndsey Schlax of the Ruth Asawa San Francisco School of the Arts launched the nation’s first on-site high school LGBT course in 2015. She has resumed teaching that groundbreaking class. In this column, her students share their thoughts about LGBT-related matters, including their concerns, what they have learned in class and more.)

Gender Norms, and Why I Can’t Wear Pink Student, Grade 10 “Why are you wearing that shirt?” my sister blurted out loudly as I entered the kitchen. “You do know that pink is for girls, right?”

Kayaking & Picnic for Women with Kim Powell Sunday, October 22 • Sausalito 10am Launch 1:30pm Return for Picnic at Dumphy Park Enjoy a “paddle” with one of the most experienced and renown guides in the Bay Area who is known internationally for her skills and informative outings. Kayaks are provided. For cost and more details, e-mail: bluewaterventuressc@gmail.com 18

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Self-conscious, embarrassed, and ashamed, I stood isolated in the middle of the room. Glancing at my mother in search of support, I was met with a cold stare. I turned to my father for defense, but again … nothing. Feeling nervous, I ran back to my bedroom. Two minutes prior, I stood in the same place feeling confident, courageous and at ease. Now, I regretted everything.

I quickly took off the hot pink t-shirt and replaced it with a navy blue one.

I thought I was being brave by showing myself in pink in front of my family, but it turns out that I only made a fool of myself. Why is it that, because I’m a boy, I am not supposed to wear pink? I happen to think it’s a nice color. I think it goes well with my eyes.

The reason apparently goes back to gender norms, which tell boys and girls what they can and cannot do.

For example, boys play sports and

girls play family. Or, in my case, boys wear blue and girls, pink. When gender norms are defied, it takes a lot of courage from the person in question, so when they are met with hostility, it takes a heavy toll on their self-esteem, especially at a young age.

The kicker about these norms is that they are completely made up. As humans, we didn’t evolve with them; we created them later on. They are merely a social construct that exists simply to categorize us, leaving those who do not fit into the two boxes— boy and girl—ostracized from our families and communities. If gender norms only exist because we say they do, then there must be a way to overcome them.

Intersectionality in the Workplace Student, Grade 12 Intersectionality is the intersection of groups or individuals—for example, a black woman, a gay Asian man and a teenage lesbian. Kimberlé Crenshaw, a professor at both the University of California Los Angeles and Columbia University, is known for bringing intersectionality to public attention. I was recently introduced to her work via a TED Talk.

Her talk brought up an old court case, where a black woman was denied a job at a factory. The woman sued, accusing the factory’s leadership of gender and racial bias. In court, the judge asked which she was suing for, and she said both. The factory retaliated with the fact they have black people, but all of those individuals were men. The factory added that they had women too, but all of those women were white.

STUDENT VOICES T he cour t case was d ism issed.

Cr en s h aw r ec og n i zed t h i s i n ju s t ic e a nd n a me d it , i n s pi ri n g m a n y, i n c l u d i n g m y s e l f .

In her TED talk, Crenshaw also said that the black male victims of police brutality tend to be known but that the black female ones are not.

For example, do you know: Charleena Lyles, Yvette Smith and Darnesha Harris? If you do, I commend you.

If you do not, that is okay. I did not either, but now that you do, look them up, read their stories, and recognize (continued on page 30) Lyndsey Schlax has been a teacher in the San Francisco Unified School District since 2008.

She is uniquely qualified to address multiple areas of LGBT studies, having also specialized in subjects such as Modern World History, Government, Economics and U.S. Politics. She is a National Board Certified Teacher, and earned her M.A. in Teaching at the University of San Francisco.

Fall in the Castro people! Folsom is here!” So, get up and put some clothes on (or take some off) and let’s celebrate!

We may not have those chilly mornings marked by a little shiver and “brrrrrrr.”

But we have a lot of other things that can give you the shivers and make you say “grrrrrr.” Yup, same but different. And don’t forget the “kinder, gentler” festival—the Castro Street Fair!

Those of you who came here from one of those autumnal climes only have a month or so until your friends start complaining about the piles of leaves and snow, when that first idyllic dusting turns into black slush alongside the streets and stays, like an unwanted relative, for 6 months. Who’s laughing now?

Fall is in the air in San Francisco.

Can’t you just feel it?

The mornings have a chill in the air.

Everyone grabs their mittens and ear muffs on the way out of their homes.

You have to scrape a little frost off of the car windows. There’s that cozy smell of fireplaces warming happy people by the hearth. The trees are turning glorious shades of red and gold. Soon that first snow will dust the hillside. People are getting their sleds out of storage.

Stop! That was somewhere else. Perhaps where you came from. Erase all of that. Fall in San Francisco is kind of “the same but different.”

There are most definitely things that mark the turn of summer to autumn in San Francisco. Most years, it actually gets warmer following the coldest month of the year—August. Not this year, because all we will remember about this August (and talk about for many years to come) is where we were during that record-breaking, climate change-induced, thermometer-busting heat wave on September 1. It was horrible, almost unbearable and lasted … two days.

To mark the change of seasons, most communities around the country have a Fall Harvest Festival. You know, harnessing up the ponies for a hay ride, bobbing for apples, donning various costumes from pilgrims to turkeys, and setting up booths filled with various activities and selling wares.

W hat would we do w ithout Cliff’s at this crazy time of year?

Twin Peaks starts lining the counter with delicious mugs of Irish Coffee. Hot Cookie adds pumpkin to its menu. The Castro Theatre starts showing holiday fare, leading up to the big event on Christmas Eve. Hand Job offers holiday icons for your nails.

The naked men trade in their Cliff's Variety window, October 2016 gold lame banana hammocks for tiny little crocheted Christmas stockings. (Try to hang that on the mantle.) The Castro Merchants make the entire gayborhood literally sparkle.

Now, do you want to trade this in for that little Norman Rockwell scene that comes with excruciatingly endless meals with family, raking mountains of red and gold hued leaves, and shoveling snow that just won’t stop falling?

Or would you rather start at Union Square with a little ice-skating, jump on a festive decorated cable car to the top of Nob Hill for a hot toddy and a multimillion-dollar view? (It used to be a mil- lion-dollar view, but inf lation, you know.) Or perhaps a fabulous meal at one of the wide array of Castro eateries, a cup of coffee at any of the 30 or so coffee shops within a two-block radius, followed by a good old Autumn Bar Crawl hitting all of your faves.

The line of customers outside Hot Cookie on Castro Street in August, 2017

na Sachet’s Songs of the Season and a few—9 actually—concerts by the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus!

Wow. Fall in San Francisco is amazing! As far as I am concerned, you can have your piles of red and gold leaves. You can have your drifts of snow. I’ll take the rainbow palette of the Castro and San Francisco any day of the year—especially in the Fall.

And don’t forget to dust off your Santa suit for SantaCon, which originated in San Francisco and is now a worldwide phenomenon. Then rip that Santa suit into small shreds to barely cover the “ornaments” for the amazing Santa Skivvies Run and raise some money for the SF AIDS Foundation. There are also Don-

It’s the same, but oh so different!

Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.

Folsom Street Fair, 2015

Folsom Street Fair, 2015

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PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF SAN FRANCISCO AIDS FOUNDATION

San Francisco has one of those, too.

We have a different name for our annual Fall Festival. It’s called the Folsom Street Fair. It is “the same but different.” Think about the similarities, though. There are harnesses, rides, bobbing and costumes galore.

There are booths with a wide range of activities and paraphernalia, too!

It just screams to the world: “It’s Fall,

How does one know it’s Fall in the Castro? I am sure you have your very own favorite signals and traditions that Fall is here. One way to know is the spectacular windows—at Cliff’s Hardware! They are the harbingers of autumn with the most fabulous things for the upcoming holidays. They begin by heralding the approach of the gay national holiday, Halloween. But because the holidays all come so quickly, the windows multi-task. The answer is just to put up a sexy skeleton, wearing a boa and tiara (because Cliff’s), holding a stuffed turkey, a Menorah, and some mistletoe, standing next to the most outrageous aluminum Christmas tree.

PHOTO BY RINK

Dr. Tim Seelig

PHOTO BY RINK

TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation

I come from the Lone Star State—a land of two seasons rather than four. Burnt or Frozen. The constant is “brown.” That broad brush is really unfair. There are three lovely days in the spring as the grass turns from brown to green, birds are chirping and mosquitoes are breeding. There are four in the fall when the last of the summer finally gives up the ghost after 100 days over 100 degrees.

But the people are really nice. Enough about me, back to you—and me—and San Francisco.

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San Francisco AIDS Foundation 35th Tribute Celebration

Photos by Rink

San Francisco City Hall provided a stunning setting for the 35th Annual SF AIDS Foundation Tribute Celebration held on September 16. Honorees included the Syringe Access Collaborative, Community Excellence Award; activists Roma Guy and Diane Jones, Cleve Jones Award; Chevron, Corporate Pillar Award; and the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, Keystone Partner Award. Scott Nevins served as emcee for the evening.

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Smuin’s New Season Features Fly Me to the Moon Ballet Tribute to Frank Sinatra

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ

Since coming out as bisexual in 2015, this Hollywood dream girl is known for liking “boys who sparkle” as much as she likes the ladies: A) Miley Cyrus B) Kristen Stewart C) Kate McKinnon D) Kate Moennig ANSWER ON PAGE 30

Karin Jaffie as Kitty Tapata hosts Miss Kitty’s Original Trivia Nights at The Wild Side West on Wednesday nights from 8 pm–11 pm, 424 Cortland Avenue in San Francisco. As Tapata says, “It’s free, fun and friendly! To play is to win!”

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PHOTO CREDIT: SCOT GOODMAN

PHOTO CREDIT: SCOT GOODMAN

As Fly Me to the Moon, Smuin’s beloved tribute-ballet to Frank Michael Smuin’s Sinatra tribute Fly Me to the Moon will be presented as part of Smuin’s Dance Series 01 with Sinatra, returns this season, performances in Walnut Creek and San Francisco, September 22-October 7. many in the Smuin family are the years and became close friends. Did reminiscing about the ballet’s premiere 13 years ago. Below, Artistic Direc- he ever mention Frank Sinatra? tor Fushille shares a conversation she had with Michael Smuin: Yes, he certainly did. I reMichael Smuin during the creation of his new member one night we were having dinner towork in the fall of 2004. Set to nine Sinatra gether after a performance of San Francisclassics, this ballet is brimming with Broadway co Ballet’s 50th Anniversary Gala, which he f lair—blending ballet, tap, and social dance styles to make a sparkling, charismatic number. hosted with Janet Reed. At one point, I asked him about On the Town and his relationship Celia Fushille: You’ve worked with with Sinatra. “Well,” he said, “I taught Frank popular music before. Why Sinatra and Sinatra how to dance. He was the best pupil I why now? ever had. He learned lightning fast and didn’t Michael Smuin: When Sinatra sings, you have to work particularly hard at it. He was naturally want to dance. I was reminded of this just a natural with perfect phrasing and timrecently as I began working on my memoirs and ing.” Gene also remembered Frank was always going through my records. So many memories very gracious in acknowledging the fact that have come flooding back. When my mom and not only was Gene his choreographer, but also dad would have the radio on while they were his teacher as well. This reminds me of a confixing dinner and a Sinatra song came on, my versation that Bob Fosse and I were having one dad would pick my mom up and they would day. He said that Frank Sinatra had called him dance in the kitchen. It was so romantic! They and asked him to put a show together for him. were excellent ballroom dancers and I loved Bob said he was very thrilled and surprised, but to watch them dance. When they danced to- had to decline because Sinatra was known not gether they were the essence of joy. I feel at this to like rehearsing. Of course, Bob was known as point in my life that this is the right music with the rehearsal monster. He would rehearse over Michael Smuin teaches company dancers Sinatra-inspired fedora tricks during a rehearsal for Fly Me to the Moon in the right dancers at the right time. Who doesn’t and over and over again.

2004. like Sinatra?

Celia Fushille: Getting back to your balAs the Company revives Celia Fushille: You’re drawn to Sinatra, let, from all the wonderful songs that the Sinatra medley this but do you have concerns about Sinatra made famous, how did you season, we hope Michael attracting a younger audience with choose the songs that you’re using?

Smuin’s work continues Sinatra? Will your younger audience to inspire and uplift the Michael Smuin: That was one of the hardknow this music? next generation of Smuin est parts. I had scores of albums and spent literaud ienc e s . A lt hou g h Michael Smuin: Good question! The truth ally a year and a half picking out my favorites. is, many young people know and love Sina- But one has to think of a balance. They can’t all many years have passed tra because it’s almost like folk art. It has been be ballads and they can’t all be ‘up’ tunes. Over since its debut, Fly Me to passed down from generation to generation. that period of time, whittling it down was part the Moon is timeless in its Our younger audience might already be famil- of the process. I also kept in mind the dancers ability to reach ballet and iar with these ballads, which have been record- and what songs I felt were particularly suited to Sinatra fans alike. To ased by many other artists singing today. each of them. In other words, each song took on suage any doubts that a particular face and body or bodies.

Michael Smuin might CF: Did you ever have the opportunity have had during his creto see Sinatra perform live?

Celia Fushille: Can you tell me ative process, one can say Michael Smuin: Yes, I saw him perform live something about the dedication of your with certainty that the at the Eden Rock Hotel in Miami in 1963. It ballet? ballet is, indeed, “damn came as a revelation to me at that time, that Michael Smuin: I’ve dedicated this ballet to good.” even when he was singing it was like he was talk- the memory of my dear and close friend, Nancy ing directly to you. And I felt that every member Stephens. It better be damn good or she’ll come Smuin’s new season kicks Michael Smuin offers congratulations to Celia Fushille at Smuin’s 2006 Annual Gala, of the audience had the same feeling, especialof f September 22–23 for her retirement from the stage after 25 years. back to haunt me! As it was, when I read her the ly the women. Remember that first there was with Dance Series 01 at the last list of songs for the ballet, she insisted that Sinatra, then there was Elvis, and then there Lesher Center in Walnut Creek and September 29–October 7 at San Francisco’s Palace of Fine I drop one of the songs that she didn’t like and were the Beatles. But Sinatra was the first.

Arts. Featuring a variety of works showcasing the Company dancers’ strength and versatility, the add “The Way You Look Tonight.” Obedientperformance is one that you won’t want to miss! Tickets and more information are available at ly, I made the change.

Luckily, I liked that song Celia Fushille: I know you worked on smuinballet.org several projects with Gene Kelly over myself.

PHOTO CREDIT: TOM HAUCK

PHOTO CREDIT: MARTY SOHL

As Michael Smuin’s (1938– 2007) eponymous company approaches its 24th season, the Bay Area ballet troupe—now known as Smuin Contemporary American Ballet—works hard to continue his legacy of dance and showmanship.

Smuin’s current Artistic Director, Celia Fushille, transitioned from dancer to Associate Director under Michael Smuin’s guidance, and continues to move the Company forward with all of the energy and panache of its founder. Even a decade after the Tony award-winning choreographer’s passing, memorable stories of Michael Smuin continue to circulate among Smuin patrons.

Celia Fushille and James Strong dance in Michael Smuin’s premiere of Fly Me to the Moon in 2004.

New Film About Mental Illness Draws from Gay Filmmaker’s Real-Life Experiences people in my life, so it wasn’t a stretch to write this.

Gary M. Kramer: I imagine making the film triggered some strong emotions. Were there any episodes on the set?

Film Gary M. Kramer Directed and co-written by the openly gay Vincent Sabella, Elizabeth Blue, opening September 22 at the Roxie Theatre, is based on the f ilmmaker’s personal experiences with schizophrenia. In this heartfelt and compelling film, the titular character (Anna Schafer) leaves a treatment facility and moves in with her fiancée Grant (Ryan Vincent). She also sees Dr. Bowman (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), a psychiatrist who tries to help her adjust her medication and get “back to normal.”

The filmmaker and his husband, Joseph Dain, who produced the film, talked (in separate interviews) with me for the San Francisco Bay Times about their experiences making Elizabeth Blue.

Gary M. Kramer: Can you talk about how you developed the story from your experiences?

Vincent Sabella: All these characters are real. Dr. Bowman is my real Dr. Bowman and he consulted on the film. Elizabeth is myself and Grant is my husband Joseph. I based this script on a year, 2010, when all my medications hit a plateau and I was having schizophrenic episodes every day.

Joe was taking me to see my psychiatrist every day because he couldn’t handle me. I either had to go to a psychiatric hospital or Joe would have to take a year off work to find the right regimen of meds to get me back to normal. Carol is loosely based on my mother. All the characters are real

Joseph Dain: Making the film brought up some things, and Vin hit some bumps along the way, but we made it a point to tell the cast and crew that there will possibly be some days where Vin will have an episode and leave the set. In those cases, I would step in and complete directing the scene.

That happened twice, but the cast and crew rallied behind us and were supportive.

Gary M. Kramer: Elizabeth wants to “have a life and be normal.”

Can you talk about this and how you created the episodes that define her life in the film?

Vincent Sabella: When I began writing the script, I knew I would base it on that year, but I didn’t remember everything that happened. Joe tells me I was running around at night. He videotaped me, so I forgot I had a hallucination of a train. It was a choice that I move fast in recovery and work on getting better. I always wanted just to be like everyone else and not be a victim of mental illness. I have it and embrace it and tell everyone about it, but I don’t want it to be a stigma.

Gary M. Kramer: Joe, the character of Grant is a thinly veiled version of you. Can you talk about how you worked with actor Ryan Vincent on the character?

Joseph Dain: Ryan was intrigued by this concept that Grant loved Elizabeth, no matter what her mental health or state of mind was. Ryan engaged with my deep affection and love for Vin, but also my ability to grapple with something that is difficult for (continued on page 30)

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun housing affordability; addressing the homelessness crisis; fighting for economic, social and environmental justice; and working with progressive elected officials to ensure our voices are heard and counted. This has been one of the most important years in the club’s history. The President’s Address was given by Co-Presidents Kimberly Alvarenga & Carolina Morales.

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana Sez: “I am really excited that the notorious and glorious Folsom Street Fair is just around the corner. Get out your gear and get it on!”

THE HARVEY MILK LGBT DEMOCRATIC CLUB held its 41ST ANNUAL DINNER AND GAYLA at Gray Area/Grand Theater in the Mission. There we celebrated 41 years of queer progressive politics and activism in San Francisco. The annual dinner & gayla gathered more than 300 of San Francisco’s most influential LGBTQ politicians, community activists, and grassroots organizers. This is their primary fundraiser to support the club’s political agenda. For 2017– 2018 their focus includes: resistance against the current regime; police accountability, reform and transparency; fighting for Trans lives; solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement; preserving our Sanctuary city; 22

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Keynote speaker was Yosimar Reyes, who gave an inspirational speech as well as several equally inspirational slam poetry sessions.

2017 Gayla Honorees were Bayard Rustin Award: SFILEN - San Francisco Immigrant Legal and Education Network; Bill Kraus Leadership Award: CODEPINK; Community Ally Award: Hillary Ronen; Eileen Hansen Social Justice Hero Award: Kate Jessica Raphael; Hank Wilson Activist Award: Wendy M. Phillips; Harry Britt Lifetime Achievement Award: the late, great Gilbert Baker—accepted by veteran activist featured in the TV biopic, When We Rise, Ken Jones; Howard Wallace Labor Leadership Award: Josue Arguelles introduced by Harvey Milk Elder Statesman Allan Baird, who spoke of Wallace’s powerful coalition with Milk and his campaign; Jazzie Collins Award: Janetta Johnson and The Trans and Queer coalition who fought for The Compton�s Transgender, Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual District; Sylvester Pride in the Arts: Honey Mahog-

any, who appeared out of drag; and Simeon White Volunteer of the Year Award: Jordan Davis.

Sculptures, vibrant colors, and textiles were exuberantly celebrated at Thomasina DeMaio’s ART SAVES LIVES GALLERY at her Castro &18th Street showplace in the Castro. The gallery has been fostering an ongoing partnership with THE ARC SAN FRANCISCO, a nonprofit that aims to aid adults with developmental disabilities in living independent and enriched lives. The resulting collaboration was a reception and an awesome art show showcasing the work of developmentally disabled clients of The Arc: Lakesha King, Anne Slater, Ron Jacob Yap, Ron Ansley, Douglas Barllas, Leo Branham, Yukari Sakura, Karim Tulloch, Michael Broadhurst, Xavier Thompson, Lleana Ramirez, Sean Dempsy, Barbara Hales, Jennifer Villatore, Ines Villalobos, Sabine Altieri, Lisa O’Neill, and Cindy Lam. To help the artists develop a sense of entrepreneurship, half of the proceeds from the sale of each work went directly to the artist, while the other half will be returned to The Arc’s art programs. The Art Saves Lives Gallery is open Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12–6 pm, and Saturdays and Sundays from 12–4 pm. sfartslave. org and thearcsf.org (continued on page 30)

Pro Tips on Creating and Sending Invitations

By Jacques Oskanian First impressions matter, making tangible invitations sent out for weddings and other special events all the more important.

Here is some advice that I have learned over the past three decades at my business, Hyegraph Invitations & Calligraphy.

Establish your timeline.

“Save the Dates” should be mailed out six to nine months ahead of your wedding to allow adequate time for your guests to request paid-time off, book accommodations or flights, and, if needed, to find a babysitter. The Save the Dates commonly include your names, wedding date, city and state of the wedding, and your wedding website. Invitations are then mailed out two to three months prior to your wedding, closer to three months prior for destination weddings and out of town guests. All of the specific details should be included in your invitation suite, such as the time, venue name and address, reply cards, directions, shuttle information, accommodations and more.

We also recommend ordering your “Thank You Notes” at the same time as the invitations. When guests are unable to attend, they often send a gift right away, and it is always nice to be able to send them a thank you note shortly after.

Pro Tip: Keep in mind that you should only send one invitation per couple or household.

While you may be inviting 200 guests, after you break your list down into addresses, you may end up only needing 125 invitations, give or take.

Choose a style and stick with it.

Your invitations will set the tone for your event, and offer your guests a preview to your big day. Starting online is a great way to find out what you like, and don’t like, about invitations. Save photos to your phone, clip magazines, or bring printouts to your consultation to give your stationer a better idea of your taste and style. Unfortunately, “elegantly rustic and whimsical with a touch of shabby chic” may mean different things to different people, so those inspirational photos will be super helpful to narrow down your vision.

Consider how your invitations should feel, literally.

Have you thought about how you want your invitations to feel? Engraving, letterpress, foil-stamping, thermography, and embossing are just some of the printing processes available to you. Some are raised, some are indented into the paper, and some add no texture at all to the print. On top of that, certain printing processes will lend themselves better to certain types of paper. Your stationer is an extremely valuable resource for help with all of the different combinations, and will have physical samples for you to see, touch, and feel in person.

digital calligraphy, which is machine printed directly onto the envelope (no label). We have several hundred fonts to choose from, and can custom match your desired ink color as closely as possible.

The best part is that it’s only $1.00 per envelope for black ink, and a quick 1–3 business day turnaround.

Postage is important, too.

Before you go and order 125 of your favorite butterfly stamps, be sure to take one complete and assembled invitation set—outer envelope, inner envelope, invitation card, RSVP card, RSVP envelope, reception card—and any other enclosure cards to the post office to be weighed. Other factors that may contribute to the final postage cost are irregular shape(s), bumps, and thickness. More often than not, the full invitation set is going to cost more than just one Forever stamp to mail, and you really don’t want to get 125 invitations returned for insufficient postage. However, given that you have a standard weight and size rectangular RSVP card, that RSVP envelope will certainly be a regular Forever stamp.

Pro Tip: Don’t forget to also check the postage rate for any international guests you might have.

J O H N S T O N, K I N N E Y & Z U L A I C A LLP

Jacques Oskanian is the owner of Hyegraph Invitations & Calligraphy in San Francisco, specializing in digital calligraphy, invitations, stationery and more. Hyegraph is celebrating their 30th Anniversary this year! Jacques can be reached at info@hyegraph.com or by phoning 415-626-0461. For more information: www.hyegraph.com

Give thought to how envelopes will be addressed.

With your invitations complete, you will be eager to mail them out. Before you can begin sealing those envelopes, however, you will have to get them addressed. If you plan to use a hand calligrapher, make sure to order extra envelopes as they will typically require anywhere from ten to twenty-five percent overage. We at Hyegraph specialize in Frederick Sullivan and Jaime Botello, who oversee the Weddings & Occasions page for the San Francisco Bay Times, are the talented wizards behind Sullivan-Botello Events (http://sullivanbotelloevents.com) and SnB Party Rentals (650-877-0840, www.snbpartyrentals.com). Both are Certified Wedding Planners with extensive experience in creating memorable, personalized events for special occasions. Their rental service is incredible, offering everything from beautiful gold Chiavari chairs to LED dance floors, and all at competitive prices. They are the creators of the Gay Vanity Wedding Show and are longstanding members of the Golden Gate Business Association, which is the nation’s first LGBT Chamber of Commerce.

With nine attorneys in two locations, we serve the LGBT community with expertise, experience and sensitivity.

We offer services in: • LGBT Families

• Tax Planning

• Estate Planning

• Family Law

• Trust & Probate Administration

• Elder Law & Benefits

• Beneficiary Representation

• Entity Formation & Real Estate

SAN FRANCISCO

SANTA ROSA

415.693.0550

707.237.7371

www.jkzllp.com | www.jkzllp.com/español S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Good Posture Hacks

Take Me Home with You!

strengthening. Move your shoulders gently up, back and around. Repeat a few times, and then reverse direction. I know this movement is not new or trendy, but it is very easy and useful. Give it a try now.

Shoulder Blade Kisses

Easy Fitness Cinder Ernst

Bonnie

“My name is Bonnie! I recently moved here from Texas. I was up for adoption at a shelter and when Hurricane Harvey hit, I flew with 20 of my doggie friends to the SF SPCA. That way, the Texas shelter had more room for animals rescued from the storm! I’m a Southern gal at heart—I love meeting new people and practicing my manners. Come say howdy!”

Bonnie is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Bonnie.

To meet Bonnie, as well as other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500 Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat– Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt! For more info, please visit sfspca.org/adopt

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

At Easy Fitness, we always want to give you a clear view on how your body works and the simplest way to make improvements. In the last column, we looked at how to improve your posture through awareness and easy corrections. Check the archives.

Today you will learn 3 Easy Fitness movements that reduce neck, shoulder and upper back pain while they strengthen you for better posture. All of our Easy Fitness small steps (search for Cinder Ernst on YouTube) reduce pain as they help you to get stronger.

Strength is also the key to improved mobility and more fun! For detailed explanations of today’s exercises and more, check out my book, Easy Fitness for the Reluctant Exerciser.

The object of these three movements—they are easy to f it into life, which is why they are called “hacks”—is to strengthen your upper back and loosen the front of your shoulders so you can have less pain yet a good-looking posture. In all of these moves, begin where you are in terms of fitness and proceed gently.

If something hurts or feels wrong for you, make it a smaller movement, or skip it and try it again next week.

Shoulder Rolls

Fitness SF Trainer Tip of the Month

Shoulder rolls warm up the posture muscles to prepare them for the

Trever Brunelli – Fitness SF SoMa Chest Cable Fly “The Chest Cable Fly is a great exercise for building your pectoral muscles. Stagger your feet to maintain good balance and lean your torso forward a bit. Begin with arms spread wide open and then bring your hands together while tightening your chest.”

SF Sketch Randy Coleman Randy Coleman hails from New York, but has lived in San Francisco since 1975. Coleman shares that before moving to the Bay Area, he studied Art History and Architecture at Boston University while working as a resident artist for architectural rendering at a Massachusetts historical society. “All of my life I’ve been an artist,” Coleman says.

“To know me is to know that I have a passion for art and architecture. I love this project for the San Francisco Bay Times, and hope that you enjoy my sketches.”

Tore Kelly, Director of Creative & Social Media for Fitness SF, provides monthly tips that he has learned from professional trainers. For more information: fitnesssf.com

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© Randy Coleman, 2017

This exercise is simply squeezing, gently, your shoulder blades together and then relaxing. The most important part of Kisses is that your shoulders go straight back. Most shoulders want to go up and back, but we don’t want to do that. Try this move in front of a mirror and only move straight back. You should notice no upward movement. If Kisses feel okay to you, repeat five or ten in a row. You are strengthening the muscles in your upper back that help you to keep your ribcage lifted, which is one of the keys to improving posture or to keeping the good posture you have. Shoulder Rolls and Kisses are great exercises to do at your desk or at a red light!

Swimmers Swimmers are self-correcting exercises for upper back and neck pain.

They also strengthen the back of your shoulders (rear deltoids) and create flexibility in the front of your shoulders (front deltoids). Swimmers can be done sitting or standing. In either case, you want to start in an upright, good posture position. If you have a shoulder injury or pain during this movement, you can do Half Swimmers, instructions to follow. Find the Swimmer that is right for you and try five. I suggest doing Rolls and Kisses first.

Sitting Swimmer Sit on the edge of your chair, feet on the f loor, ankles under your knees, rib-cage lifted and head as a natural extension of your spine. Raise your right hand over your head as if you were in a classroom wanting the teacher to call on you. Let your left hand drop straight down. Right is up, left is down. The motion is to switch

them smoothly and rhythmically, keeping your arms straight. The motion happens in front of you and your hands should reach their destinations at the same time. In other words, one is coming up as one is coming down.

When done correctly, your “straight in front of you arms” should pass each other at chest height.

Half Swimmer Follow the above instructions, but stop your arms at chest height. Increase the range of motion as it feels comfortable.

For all of the above: go easy, have fun and pay attention to your body.

Cinder Ernst, Medical Exercise Specialist and Life Coach Extraordinaire, helps reluctant exercisers get moving with safe, effective and fun programs. Find out more at http:// cinderernst.com

Dodgeball: Calm Amidst Chaos low league manager, Kevin Jones.

Now, only in its second season, VGL dodgeball has nearly 150 players and eight teams!

Sports John Chen Remember once upon a time in a hot gym when your heart pounded, your sweat trickled, your pupils dilated, your eyes focused and your body twitched? At that moment, time seemed to have slowed to a crawl, and then suddenly sped up beyond your recognition and capacity. You grabbed the rough, but soft, big pink ball and squeezed it, massaged it, and cupped it with your sensitive fingers and sweaty palm. You systematically singled out your victims. You assumed the dominant position and quickly and forcefully penetrated their defense, no matter the pain. They were at your mercy, but you spared none. There was no escape. You went for the kill!

That once upon a time in a hot gym was me at ten years old. I was brash, and the unquestioned leader of my dodgeball team. I perfected The Matrix moves before the movie was even conceived. My body twisted, contorted, retracted and bended in ways Neo never could. My teams strategically created controlled chaos, severed our opponents’ leadership, and then picked off our scattered prey, one by one!

Teammates Chris Biondi, Keith Hak and Ryan Wilson form a hot trio, or a trio of hot mess (I lost my notes, so I will include both), according to Keith.

This hot trio of mess has a great time doing the “Matrix” and pummeling their opposition with rapid fire.

While Chris illustrates the exhilaration of getting hit by a big bouncy ball in the crossfire, Ryan prides himself on a sense of accomplishment when beaming his opponents in a calculated move. Meanwhile, Keith just wants everyone to get along after he hits them with his balls of death.

“It’s such an adrenaline rush hitting someone, but sometimes I prefer to get hit—wink, wink, hint, hint,”

Keith excitedly told me, but in a coy and demure way.

SF VGL Dodgeball League plays nearly year-round and on Monday evenings at the Eureka Valley Recreation Center in the Castro. Jackie said the staff at the recreation center was instrumental in helping the league get off the ground and reaching almost instant popularity. Dodgeball is about bringing a community together to do something collectively physical and fun. Keith loves how all of the teams have players of different shapes, sizes, ages, ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations and gender identifications.

He says, “Dodgeball is a place where we can come and forget about the outside world and just focus on hitting anyone in my path!”

From my memories of childhood dodgeball, the game is about staying calm amidst chaos, a great lesson for any young or older dodgeball grasshopper.

Before I end this article, I’d like to impart this wisdom onto you, the reader, who is so mesmerized by my words and now must sign up to play dodgeball. Simply open your browser on your smart phone or PC and type: varsitygayleague.com John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball and football teams.

Does this sound familiar? Of course not! No fifth-grade dodgeball team would have the patience, the guile and understanding of the art of war.

What really happened was that a whole bunch of kids were wildly throwing balls at one another and were dodging whatever came their way. All the while we were giggling, laughing, screaming and having fun!

There was one caveat: Some kids threw the ball much harder than the others, making the game a tad more scintillating and scary.

Fast forward to the present and my friend Jackie Cruz, who is a true dodgeball enthusiast and has made this unique sport a huge part of her life. She is the inaugural San Francisco Varsity Gay League (SFVGL) Dodgeball League Manager charged with teaching and laying the foundation for her sport in our great city. Recently, the SFVGL Dodgeball League completed its first season with great success, thanks to Jackie and her fel-

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Speaking to Your Soul

Astrology Elisa Quinzi Life has a way of humbling us. Humility is necessary for us all to get along. Now is the time we ask what our part is in the chaos of the world. We all acknowledge that there is work to be done, but the work is within ourselves, on ourselves.

Now we get honest and apply effort to the practice of a more relevant way of being in the world.

ARIES (March 21–April 19) It is said, “Pain is the touchstone to spiritual growth.” Everyone experiences suffering, but it is how we use that suffering that determines what happens next. Herein lies your focus now. Engage your full attention with the ways in which you need to grow. This is the straightest way to freedom.

LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) You are having to let go of unnecessary ties that would otherwise bind you to the past. Grieve, and tend to your wounds, but keep your face to the horizon as all that is lost is added to your power.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) A healthy ego is necessary for survival on Earth, and for our sanity. But thankfully we all go through experiences that trim the fat off what has become excessive. Whether overly-dramatic emotional displays, or a sinking into drinking or fantasy, this is the time to strain impediments from your being so that your power can more fully flow.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) Your soul might find soul mates and like-minded tribe while doing volunteer work. The content of your contribution to the collective is under the microscope. You might realign your path with more current ideas that reflect who you are striving to become.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) You might find yourself on a fact-finding mission regarding family history or patterns. Consider taking inventory of your strengths, weaknesses, and wounds, and then humbly tend to the gardening of your heart.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) Service might be calling out to you loudly now. Ways in which to manifest your mission can become clear.

Your goals could take a completely new direction.

This is the time to write out your updated mission statement.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) This is a most excellent time for you to up-level your thought frequency. If your thinking was a mountain of coal, the planets are bearing tremendous pressure upon you so as to chisel your mind into a diamond. This is less about becoming perfect, and more about slaying fear and doubt.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan.19) Humbly admit that your worldview has become too tight. Be teachable. You could really gain some wings as you reach for a new perspective.

LEO ( July 23–August 22) Romantic and heart-centered, you have little trouble identifying what you want. So now is the time to do what it takes to resolve an old wound you carry that may be keeping you from those desires. Apply effort toward actions you have been avoiding, and your self-worth deepens.

AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20–Feb. 18) You might be looking at some sticky feelings that make you feel vulnerable. Drop into them instead.

There is transformation within the cocoon of humble surrender.

VIRGO (August 23–Sept. 22) “Fate is the refusal to be born again,” says one of my favorite astrologers, Dane Rudhyar. It applies to you now in a personal way. A portal is truly open for you to apply all of your best gifts and skills to your rebirth. You are to become more autonomous. Rather than sink into feelings of isolation, you have a significant opportunity to more fully awaken to the pregnant vitality of the moment. Take care not to spin into despair. This can be a leap in consciousness for you.

PISCES (Feb. 19–March 20) You bring the magic to the party. But something has kept you from the party. Prepare every facet of your being to experience the highest good imaginable. It shows up when you do. Everything backs you now as you enter into groundbreaking territory.

Elisa has been enjoying the art of astrological counseling since earning professional certification many years ago. In addition to astrological knowledge, she brings a high degree of conscious presence to her work, and creates a safe, comfortable atmosphere for sessions to unfold organically. Contact her at futureselfnow@gmail.com or 818-530-3366 or visit www.ElisaQuinzi.com

As Heard on the Street . . . If you could redesign Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro, what would you add?

compiled by Rink

Wanda K. Whitaker

D. J. Lamont

Jaime Botello

Olga Garcia

Griselda Gonzalez

“Feature Burning Man art cars and art that lights up at night. Activities to make art using various media.”

“Trees and flowers”

“I would like to see the plaza be more colorful, and comfortable for families, and our community.”

“A playground with a few slides”

“A kid’s area and a playground”

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Professional Services

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Calendar of Upcoming Events sfbaytimes.com Compiled by Blake Dillon

21 : Thursday MAX SF’s Third Thursday Happy Hour @ Beaux, 2344 Market Street. Gay men meet to socialize and enjoy the scene at Beaux. 5-8pm. maxsf.org AIDS/LifeCycle Open House @ Strut, 3rd Floor Lobby, 470 Castro Street. Find out about the AIDS/ LifeCycle from ride veterans and staff who will talk about the training, fundraising, life on the Ride and the role of “Roadie” volunteers. 6:30-8pm. strutsf.org Cabaret @ Marin Art and Garden Center, 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Ross. The Ross Valley Players present the classic play through October 15. rossvalleyplayers.com Flower Power Exhibit @ Asian Art Museum, 200 Larkin Street. Continuing through October 1. With the role of flowers as symbols of peace during the Summer of Love, the exhibit looks at flowers in Asian art through the symbolism of the lotus, plum blossom, cherry blossom, chrysanthemum, tulip and rose. asianart.org Rosh Hashana Services @ Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness. Congregation Sha’ar Zahav invites Jewish friends and supporters to celebrate Jewish New Year services and reception. 7:30pm. Continues on Sept. 22, 9:30am with Rosh Hashana services, Sha’ar Zahav, 290 Dolores Street; September 29 Kol Nidre services, Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness; and Sept. 30, 9:30am, Yom Kippur services, Herbst Theatre. shaarzahav.org

Degas, Impressionism, and the Paris Millinery Trade @ Legion of Honor, Lincoln Park, 100 34th Avenue. Featuring more than forty Impressionist paintings and pastels, including key works by Degas, as well as Renoir, Manet, Cassatt and Toulouse-Lautrec, in addition to a display of forty examples of period hats. Continues through September 24. 9:30am5:15pm. legionof honor.famsf.org

22 : Friday To Immigrants with Love @ Corner of Bryant Street at 24th Street. A digital mural project by Jess X. Snow and Roger Peet highlighting the unbreakable love and bravery that holds migrant families together. Continues through October 31 on WednesdaysSaturdays from 12-5pm. galeriadelaraza.org Maya Songbird & The Homobiles @ The Octopus Literary Salon, 2101 Webster Street at 22nd, Oakland. Unique performers at a unique East Bay venue. oaklandoctopus.org Celebrating Bernstein with MTT @ Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness Avenue. The San Francisco Symphony with special guests performs a program of Bernstein favorites. 8pm. Also on September 23 and 24. sfsymphony.org

queer lives hosted by Lorin Murphy in the Common Ground Room. 7-9pm. oaklandlgbtqcenter.org SF Ducal Coronation XLIV @ Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market Street.

A Night of Russian Disko is the theme of the annual event where the new Duke and Duchess are crowned. 6pm. sfducal.org Women’s Shelter Benefit @ The Santa Clara Hyatt, 5101 Great America Parkway, Santa Clara.

Drummer Robin Roth with The Girlz will perform. 8-11pm. robinroth.com

24 : Sunday Queer Babe Folsom Brunch @ The Pink Elephant Alibi Gastropub, 142 Minna Street. A big queer brunch pre-Folsom. 12-2pm. Queer Babe Folsom Brunch on facebook.com Perfectly Queer Reading Series with Authors Jason Tougaw and Deb Busman @ Dog Eared Books Castro, 489 Castro Street. Tougaw will read from his The One You Get, which uses neuroscience and family love to tell his story of growing up gay in 1970s Southern California, raised by hippies; and Busman will read from her Like A Woman, a vivid coming-ofage story about the lives of teenage girls on the streets of L.A. 7pm. dogearedbooks.com

23 : Saturday

25 : Monday

Periwinkle Cinema @ Oakland LGBTQ Community Center, 3207 Lakeshore Avenue. The monthly queer film screening by and about

Raising Zoey Screening @ Roxie Theater, 3117 16th Street. The 9th San Francisco Latino Film Festival presents the story of a thirteen-year-old trans activist Zoey Luna and the challenges he faces from school officials. 7-8pm. sflff.gala-engine.com Folsom Street Fair Decompression @ Wicked Grounds, 289 8th Street. Gather to debrief and share memories about your experiences during Folsom Street Fair Weekend. 7-9pm. wickedgrounds.com

26 : Tuesday “Judy Chicago’s Pussies” Exhibit @ Jessica Silverman Gallery, 488 Ellis Street. A solo exhibit of paintings, drawings and ceramic plates made between 1968 and 2004 exploring women’s agency, sexuality and feline companions; featuring Morning Fan (1971), a monumental painting considered an icon of feminist minimalism. Tuesdays-Saturdays, 11am-6pm through October 28. jessicasilvermangallery.com The Compton’s Cafeteria Riot, A Workshop @ Tenderloin Museum, 398 Eddy Street. One event in a series of four workshops on the Compton’s Film Series: Queens to the Front to culminate in an interactive play, ‘The Compton’s Cafeteria Riot’ inspired by the 1966 riot. 6:30-9pm. tenderloinmuseum.org Dirty Old Women - Erotica @ The Octopus Literary Salon, 2101 Webster Street at 22nd, 28

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Oakland. A monthly series celebrating erotic writing by self-identified older women of all flavors featuring for September authors Kristin McCloy, author of three novels, and j mork, whose writings reflect her fifteen years of experience as a sex worker in the Bay Area. 7:30pm. oaklandoctopus.org

27 : Wednesday Eureka Valley Neighborhood Association Meeting @ Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy, 19th and Collingwood Streets. Find out about the activities and issues addressed by the Association as well as volunteer opportunities. 7-9pm. evna.org Nightly Illuminated Scenes in Golden Gate Park Inspired by Rare Tropical Flowers @ Conservatory of Flowers, 100 JF Kennedy Drive. A public display of a light art installation every night through October at approximately 9:15pm. conservatoryofflowers.org The Psychedelic Book Club @ Dog Eared Books Castro, 489 Castro Street. The Club will discuss Acid Test by Tom Schroeder, a book about the lives of the founder of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies and of a soldier who receives MDMA-PTSD treatment 7pm. dogearedbooks.com

28: Thursday MAX American River-South Fork White Water Rafting Trip @ American River Rafting, 6019 New River Road, Coloma.

The men of MAX and their friends will enjoy a two-day white water rafting and camping trip with tent setuptakedown and four meals provided. maxsf.org Shanti’s 43rd Anniversary Dinner @ The Palace Hotel, 2 New Montgomery Street. Compassion Is Universal is the theme of this annual benefit including a reception, silent auction, honor program and dinner.

6pm. shanti.org The Disappearing L: Erasure of Lesbian Spaces and Culture Book Event @ Laurel Bookstore, 1423 Broadway, Oakland. Author Bonnie J. Morris will discuss the disappearance of lesbian culture and spaces, including concerts, festivals, cafes, bookstores and support spaces. 7pm. laurelbookstore.com Foreign Cinema’s 18th Anniversary Party Benefitting HRC @ Foreign Cinema, 2534 Mission Street. A Venetian Carnival will be the theme for an evening filled with visual delights, sensual bites, sultry libations and unique burlesque and art performances from Hecklina and performers from San Francisco’s Mother, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and Gregangelo and Velocity Circus. 7-11pm. foreigncinema.com

29 : Friday Korematsu Speaks Up Book Event @ Laurel Bookstore, 1423 Broadway, Oakland. Authors Laura Atkins and Stan Yogi discuss their book for all Americans, especially young ones, about a Japanese American who defied the government’s orders in WWII. 7-8:30pm. laurelbookstore.com Smuin Ballet - Dance Series 01 @ Palace of Fine Arts, 3301 Lyon Street. Smuin kicks off its 24th season with Dance Series 01, a program that includes the West Coast premiere of Annabelle Lopez Ochoa’s critically lauded and transcendent piece “Requiem for a Rose.” Continues through October 7. smuinballet.org Southern Poverty Law Center Fundraiser @ Bar Threefiftyfive, 355 19th Street, Oakland. The venue’s monthly fundraiser for September will benefit SPLC. 4-8pm. Bar Threefiftyfive on Facebook How I Learned to Drive @ Custom Made Theatre, 533 Sutter Street. Paula Vogel’s Pulitzer PrideWinning play opens the 2017-18 season with this poignant and funny tale of survival for a young girl faced with the advances of an older man.

Performances through October 7. custommade.org

30 : Saturday Barbary Coast Trail Walk Northern Waterfront, Fisherman’s Wharf and Aquatic Park @ Meeting Point TBA. “Stevedores, Feluccas and Windjammers” is the theme of this exploration of San Francisco’s past as a port city from the days of sail to the era of the longshoreman. 10am-12pm. sfhistory.org San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus Tour Launch Concert @ Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street. Artistic Director/Conductor Dr. Tim Seelig will lead the Chorus to launch their 40th season in a “Send Off” performance marking the start of their Lavender Pen Tour.

Performing with the Chorus will be the award-winning Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir. sfgmc.org Pictures at an Exhibition - Music Inspired by Art @ Everett Middle School, 350 Church Street.

The San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band will showcase a program inspired by masterpieces across many artistic disciplines. 4-6pm. sflgfb.org DJ Rockaway’s Play on the Bay! Sunset Cruise @ Broadway Pier, Jack London Square. A cruise dance for women who love to dance.

5:30pm Boarding/9pm Return. djrockaway.com Rebels in Red Fashion Show & Drag Show @ Strut, 470 Castro. Black Brothers Esteem and Good VBZ present an evening of entertainment and fashion featuring emcee Saiyohni Gray and performer and fashionista Amora Teese.

6-10pm. strutsf.org

1 : Sunday Castro Street Fair @ Castro and Market to adjacent streets. The 44th year for the street festival, founded by Harvey Milk. With four entertainment areas, dance alley, hundreds of local and artisanal vendors, food and beverages, information booths and more. 11am6pm. castrostreetfair.org Voices of Resistance - Joan Baez and Lila Downs in Conversation with Olga Talamante @ Brava Theater Center, 2781 24th Street. A benefit for the Chicana Latina Foudnation and Fondo Gaudalupe Musalem of Oaxaca. 3-4:15pm. brava.org 5th Annual Musical Extravaganza Benefit for Charlotte Maxwell Clinic @ Freight and Salvage Coffeehouse, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley. The dance floor will be open with performances by Pat Wilder (Soulful Blues), Marcelle Davis Lashley (Toshi Reagon’s Big Lovely Band) and Ruby’s in Town (R&B and Old Soul). 2pm. charlottemaxwell.org

2 : Monday Surrender Dorothy at Monday Night Marsh @ The Marsh, 1062 Valencia Street. Excerpts from the work in progress. 6-9pm. themarsh.org Sacred Cocktails @ The Lookout, Bar 16th and Market Streets. This month’s First Monday conversation topic will be racism and DACA ,with guest speakers. 6:30-8pm. lookoutsf.com HMPC Annual Exhibit @ Harvey Milk Photo Center, 50 Scott Street. The annual exhibit of works by members, staff and volunteers curated

by Dave Christensen and HMPC staff and members. Tuesday-Sunday through October 7. harveymilkphotocenter.org

3 : Tuesday Velvet Rage Book Club @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. The weekly book club of the SF AIDS Foundation’s Stonewall Project explores the complexity of gay identify and culture, HIV, substance use, healing relationship and more.

4-5:30pm. strutsf.org Janet Jackson @ Golden 1 Center, 400 David J. Stern Walk, Sacramento.

The talented diva in concert. 8-11pm. ticketfront.com Grab ‘Em By The Songs @ The Uptown Nightclub, 1928 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland. The monthly first Tuesday event features women songwriters from the Bay Area preforming songs in the round including, for October: Kim Lembo, Shawna Virago, Chelsea Coleman and special guest The Secret Emchy Society. 7pm. uptownnightclub.com

4 : Wednesday Tapata Trivia Round UP! @ Wild Side West, 424 Courtland Avenue.

Kit Tapata hosts the weekly event on Wednesdays; a trivia competition mixed with music and live improv. 7-9pm. tapatatwins.com Wednesdays at Feinstein’s @ Feinstein’s at the Nikko, 222 Mason. A rotating series of events presented each month including Broadway Bingo at the Nikko with host Katya Smirnoff-Skyy and musical director Joe Wicht. 7pm. feinsteinsatthenikko.com MisterWives Concert @ Fox Theatre, 1807 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland. MisterWives is a genre-defying band breaking out of New York City and gaining recognition. Every pair of tickets purchased online comes with a digital download of the new album Connect the Dots. thefoxoakland.com

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NEWS (continued from page 5) representing nine individual plaintiffs, all of whom are transgender, and three organizational plaintiffs—the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), Seattle-based Gender Justice League, and the American Military Partners Association (AMPA). outserve.org San Francisco on the Road to Becoming First City to Have Zero New HIV Infections According to the “HIV Epidemiology Annual Report,” San Francisco is on the road to becoming the first city to achieve the Joint United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) goals of zero new HIV infections, zero HIV-associated deaths, and zero stigma and discrimination. The findings in the report include that new HIV diagnoses in San Francisco declined to a record low in 2016, and among men, the annual rate of new HIV diagnoses for all racial and ethnic groups continued a 10-year decline. “Never have there been more people living with HIV in San Francisco, yet we continue to see sharp drops in new transmissions,” said Supervisor Jeff Sheehy, who is HIV positive and is a co-founder of San Francisco’s Getting to Zero Consortium. “San Francisco’s Getting to Zero model is being replicated around the world, however, with 13% of all newly diagnosed persons homeless—a proportion that is increasing over time—and only 31% of homeless persons living with HIV virally suppressed, we are clearly failing to address health and housing disparities,” he added. “San Francisco can be the first city to get to zero, but only if we continue to deploy the necessary resources for core services and new initiatives for those most in need.” sfgov.org

Statements from Judith KasenWindsor and Robbie Kaplan on the Passing of LGBT Advocate Edie Windsor Judith Kasen-Windsor, widow of renowned LGBT activist Edie Windsor (1929–2017), and Roberta “Robbie” Kaplan, Edie Windsor’s attorney, have issued the following statements on Windsor’s passing in New York on September 12 at the age of 88. “I lost my beloved spouse Edie, and the world lost a tiny, but tough-as-nails, fighter for freedom, justice and equality,” said Kasen-Windsor. “Edie was the light of my life.

She will always be the light for the LGBTQ community, which she loved so much and which loved her right back.” Kaplan, in part, wrote: “Representing Edie Windsor was and will always be the greatest honor of my life.” She said Windsor will go down in the history books as a true American hero.

Kaplan concluded, “I also know that her memory will be a blessing, not only to every LGBT person on this planet, but to all who believe in the concept of b’tzelem elohim, or equal dignity for all.” A public memorial was held Friday, September 15, at Riverside Memorial Chapel. Hillary Clinton eloquently paid tribute to Windsor at the funeral on that same day, held at New York City’s Temple Emanu-El. In lieu of flowers, Edie Windsor requested that any donations in her memory be made to the following organizations: The LGBT Center, Callen-Lorde, Hetrick-Martin Institute, and SAGE. (For more about Windsor, see page 6 of this issue.) berlinrosen.com

ROSTOW (continued from page 14) equality just mandated that gay couples be allowed to marry. The Supreme Cour t , t hey cla i med, did not rule that gay couples were owed the same marriage benefits as heterosexuals.

In fact, the Supreme Court ruled very clearly that gay couples deserved equal marriage benefits; all of the dozens of marriage cases involved benefits, and not some theoretical right to a marriage license.

But, despite this, the Texas Supreme Court ruled that the issue of benefits remained an open question, and remanded the case back to the lower court for continued litigation.

Readers, this was simple insanity.

The Supreme Court has been asked about several aspects of its 2015 marriage ruling. By asked, I mean that the Court has been petitioned to review this or that topsy-turvy decision by this or that infuriating state court.

The Alabama Supreme Court refused to recognize an adoption contracted by two married lesbians in Georgia. The Arkansas Supreme Court refused to list the names of two married female parents on their child’s birth certificate. In both of those cases, the High Court dispensed with any ar-

guments or briefs, simply ruling virtually instantaneously that the state courts had it wrong.

We hope that the Supremes do the same to Texas. It was noteworthy that three, not four, justices dissented on the Arkansas birth certificate reversal. Chief Justice Roberts did not join the insufferable Neil Gorsuch in his high-hatted defense of the Hog State, while Justices Thomas and Alito happily signed their names to his pompous musings. Did this mean that Roberts believes the marriage case was rightly decided after all? Does Roberts believe that our legal tradition requires he uphold recently decided matters of law? Is he keeping his powder dry? Did he disagree with Gorsuch’s reasoning?

Only the shadow knows. But at least we should be able to count on our gay rights majority holding for the Texas case. Let’s hope, however, that rather than delaying, the justices instead make quick work of Houston’s petition and shut the door on the insidious notion that marriage benefits can be parsed on the basis of sexual orientation. arostow@aol.com

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on pg 21)

B) Kristen Stewart Twilight movie star 27-year-old Kristen Stewart proudly says, “You’re not confused if you’re bisexual.

It’s not confusing at all. For me, it’s quite the opposite.” After much-publicized romances with Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson and her then-married Snow White and The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, she is currently steady with Victoria Secret model (and Miley Cyrus ex) Stella Maxwell.

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TING (continued from page 8)

STUDENT VOICES (continued from page 18)

a third, non-binary gender marker on driver’s licenses, birth certificates, identity cards, and gender-change court orders;

that brutality is apparent to more than just black men. Say her name: aapf.org/sayhername/

SB 219, the Seniors Long Term Care Bill of Rights, protects LBGT seniors living in long term care facilities against discrimination;

The Roads of Our Life

SB 239 helps end the stigma against people living with HIV by eliminating draconian HIVspecific criminal laws that impose harsh penalties; SB 310, the Name and Dignity Act, allows transgender people facing incarceration to be able to petition the court to change their legal name or gender; Assembly Bill (AB) 677 directs state agencies on education and employment to collect data on sexual orientation and gender identity when demographic data is being collected, because LGBT people face disparities in health and well-being; AB 1556 removes gendered terms from the Fair Employment and Housing Act to ensure that transgender and non-binary people have the same protections as cisgender individuals.

As Governor Brown considers these bills, you have a chance to speak out and be heard by contacting him through his website (www.gov. ca.gov). We may endure wave after wave of slights and injustices from this White House, but we can strengthen our state laws while we weather this storm from Washington. By getting involved at this critical time, you can help to strengthen equality in California.

Phil Ting (D-San Francisco) represents the 19th Assembly District, which includes the Westside of San Francisco along with the communities of Broadmoor, Colma, Daly City, and parts of South San Francisco.

Student, Grade 12 In our LGBTQ and Ethnic Studies class, we sketched out our “Road of Life,” where we marked our most important events that affect us to this day. While creating this project, I discovered a lot about the course of my life and how I got to be who I am at this moment.

I realized that, despite my obstacles, I have accomplished and experienced quite a lot of positive events. My road of life, however, also made me think more about those hardships that made me somewhat emotional. This individual exercise made my personal connection to major events evident.

When we all completed our roads, we were put into groups with students we trusted and talked to frequently, and with students with whom we do not converse often. In these groups, we shared our roads with each other. This activity made my peers’ life experience more relatable to my road of life. This surprised me, since I do not really talk to people about my life.

The overall experience taught me that you don’t know what you don’t know—about yourself and others in your community. Reflecting upon that, it is important to be cautious for the sake of your peers, because everyone is good at pretending.

This experience brought my class as a whole closer together, and rebuilt and strengthened the already existing respect that we have for one another. I can say that this class is teaching me about myself in many ways. Each week we talk about, or create, something new.

For more information about the Ruth Asawa San Francisco School of the Arts, please visit sfsota.org/

KRAMER (continued from page 22)

SISTER DANA (continued from page 22)

many people. I wanted Ryan to understand that his character, while he’s human, he’s fearless. What motivates him the most is his love for her, and that surmounts any bad times. That’s not to say it wasn’t difficult for me, but I came to accept Vin’s mental health as a part of who he is. There’s a message for people at large that love conquers all, and while that’s a slogan for many, those who have dealt with any major illness know our ability and capacity to love is incredible.

SAN FRANCISCO AIDS FOUNDATION celebrated TRIBUTE 35 in San Francisco City Hall—marking 35 years as they honored leaders in the response to HIV and united to face the challenges ahead. Tribute Celebration is an annual gala in support of education, advocacy, and direct services in communities most vulnerable to HIV. Co-chairs were Peter Borkon, Sean Livingston, and Megan Minkiewicz. Program host was Scott Nevins with entertainment by Heklina. Honorees presented by Daniel Franzese were Chevron with the Corporate Pillar Award, Diane Jones & Roma Guy with the Cleve Jones Award, The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation with the Keystone Partner Award, and Syringe Access Collaborative with the Community Excellence Award.

Gary M. Kramer: Even though the film is based on your lives, Elizabeth Blue is about a heterosexual couple. Can you discuss that decision?

Vincent Sabella: It wasn’t so much that the main character was straight or gay, it was more about it being a love story and schizophrenia. I thought more people, gay or straight, would relate to the film if it were a young woman. It’s about love and finding love, and the ability to get past your demons and what you are going through, and I wanted to show that people with mental illness are all normal; our brains just think a little differently. When people ask me about having mental illness, I say it’s a blessing in disguise. It makes me think and feel differently. It’s odd to say that, but it’s just how I feel.

Joseph Dain: Vin made it a heterosexual couple because not as many people would see this if it was about a gay couple. That’s an unfortunate truth about the industry. It wasn’t about us; it was about tackling this serious mental health issue. © 2017 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @ garymkramer

FOLSOM STREET EVENTS presented LEATHERWALK as the official kick-off for San Francisco�s Leather Week, which culminates one week later at the FOLSOM STREET FAIR. We walked together to celebrate leather, kink, family and community— all while raising funds for three great agencies, including Positive Resource Center. Each year, hundreds of LeatherWalkers take over Market Street and march from the Castro to SoMa. Our route included stops at some of San Francisco’s favorite watering holes, ending with the raising of the Leather Pride Flag at the SF Eagle.

Each host venue showcased some amazing entertainment. Stops included Oasis, Powerhouse, Mr. S Leather, Lone Star, The Stud, and the SF Eagle.

KREWE DE KINQUE held our monthly BEER & SODA BUST benefit at The Edge for another fabulous third-Saturday afternoon in the Castro. Proceeds went towards our BAL MASQUE VX fund benefiting Larkin Street Youth Services. DJ Jack Rojo got us grooving, and our KDK club Members & Friends kept us entertained. The MC was the ever fabulous Cruzin D’Loo. There was also a surprise drop-in appearance of the three Ducal Court candidates.

SISTER DANA SEZ, "IF WE HAVEN’T ALREADY BEEN NUKED BY NORTH KOREA, DON’T MISS THESE UPCOMING EVENTS!" ART SAVES LIVES CASTRO STUDIO & PERFORMANCE SPACE presents a reception for local artists and their works on display at 518 Castro Street on September 22, 6 pm to 9 pm. As usual, the reception is free and includes bevvies and food and live entertainment. Artists for ASL’s September show include Gregory Conover, Liam Peters, Kevin Harding-Toy, Suzanne Mailloux, Michael Staley, Ole Johnson II, Wanda Whitaker, Garesh, Franceco Cerminari, Bill Haught, Christine Costello, Jon Hearn, Jack Mattingly, Billy Douglas, David Loyd Wright, Scarlet Astrid, Jack Stelnicki, and Bob Burnside.

STRUT at 470 Castro Street is currently displaying the work of Karl Fjelstrom entitled “SCATTERED.” He is a San Francisco based artist who uses the traditional medium of oil paint on canvas and renders subjects in a photo-realistic style so the focus is taken off the technique and placed solely on the image. The artist says, “Scrambled or ‘Scattered’ porn is something you may have stum(continued on page 31)

SISTER DANA (continued from page 30) bled across during adolescence late at night. You couldn’t always see a clear picture, but you knew what was happening.” He continues, “My goal with this collection is to showcase the male physique by taking the normally objectified perspective of gay pornographic culture and elevating it to the point of fine art. The images are ‘creatively censored’ by dissecting, cropping, or blurring out various parts of the composition, much like that of watching scattered channels on a television.” My two faves are the very blurred out “Untitled 067” and “Untitled 068.” karlfjelstrom.com and strutsf.org THE GRAND DUCAL COUNCIL, Board of Directors, College of Monarchs, and the Royal Society of Nobles invite you to CORONATION XLIV: “A NIGHT AT THE RUSSIAN DISKO” on Saturday, September 23. Hospitality: Hotel Whitcomb Lombard Room, Mezzanine Level, 11 am–2 pm. Coronation: Hotel Whitcomb Grand Ballroom, Cost $45, Doors 5 pm, Coronation 6 pm. The Grand Duke Peter Griggs and Grand Duchess Migitte Nielsen would love for everyone near and far to attend their coronation and to celebrate with

them an end to a wonderful year and the beginning of the new monarchs being crowned!

FOLSOM STREET EVENTS, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, produces the annual FOLSOM STREET FAIR—this year on September 24, noon to six in the SOMA. FSE also produces Hog Wild, Bay of Pigs, Up Your Alley, ROUGH, LeatherWalk, Magnitude, DEVIANTS, and more. The mission of Folsom Street Events is to unite the adult alternative lifestyle community with safe venues for self-expression while raising critical funds for San Francisco-based and national charities. Gate donations at the fairs benefit local and national charities. Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and friends will be at the gates looking for bucks bounced into their buckets. For more information about Folsom Street Fair, please visit folsomstreetevents.org THE OFFICIAL 2017 FOLSOM STREET FAIR PROGRAM GUIDE is now available for free at 440 Castro, Badlands, Beaux, Blow Buddies, Chaps, The Cinch Saloon, Dog Eared Books, Eros, Folsom Gulch, Gangway, Leather Etc, The Lone Star Saloon, Midnight Sun,

Moby Dick, Mr. S Leather, Nob Hill Theater, Oakland LGBT Center, Oasis, Orphan Andy›s, Phantom, Powerhouse, QBar, SF Eagle, Steamworks (Berkeley), Toad Hall, The Bolt (Sacramento), SF LGBT Center, The Stud, The Watergarden (San Jose), and Whatever Store.

8 pm. 10% of all tracked sales will be donated back to REAF. Hosted

by Mark Rhoades. There is no admission, but please RSVP to rsvp@ richmondermet.org or call 415-2731620 with your name and the names of those in your party. Special Guest DJ: Juanita More.

SHANTI PROJECT will present COMPASSION IS UNIVERSAL on Thursday, September 28 at The Palace Hotel, 2 New Montgomery Street, 6 pm Reception and Silent Auction, 7:30 pm Formal Program and Dinner. Co-chairs are Monica and Adam Mosseri, and Honorary Co-chairs are The Honorable James C. Hormel and Mr. Michael P. Nguyen.

The GLBT HISTORICAL SOCIETY will celebrate another exciting year of preserving, protecting, and displaying the history of the LGBTQ community in all its diversity. LIVING COLORS will be held in the War Memorial Green Room on Saturday, October 14, 6 pm. Guests will be welcomed by co-chairs and hosts Alex U. Inn of Momma›s Boyz and KINGDOM! and Marke Bieschke of 48 Hills and The Stud.

Renowned transgender opera singer Breanna Sinclairé and special guest Honey Mahogany of RuPaul’s Drag Race will provide entertainment.

This year›s gala honors the memory of artist and community activist Gilbert Baker (1951–2017), best known for his creation of the rainbow flag that has come to symbolize the LGBTQ community throughout the world. The GLBT Historical Society is proud to announce its acquisition of Baker’s artwork, memorabilia, and

BLOOMINGDALE’S and RICHMOND/ERMET AID FOUNDATION (REAF) invite you to a special One Day Shopping Event to benefit REAF and Celebrate Men›s Style on Thursday, October 5. Private Party, 6 to 8 pm Men›s Store on 4 with complimentary cocktails and hors d›oeuvres. Shop in any department all day and just turn your duplicate receipt in to the concierge on Level 1, or bring it to the party in the Men’s Department that night for the private party from 6 to

State of the GGBA at Hibernia Bank

personal papers—an invaluable addition to the institution’s archives and museum. Gala guests will receive a preview of the acquisition. The society is naming Baker the posthumous recipient of its annual History Maker Award, granted “for artistry and contributions to LGBTQ history and culture.” In addition, the society will honor historian and GLBT History Museum cofounder Amy Sueyoshi with the Clio Award "for advancing understanding of LGBTQ history” and Emily Rosenberg and Darlene Darlene DeManincor with the Founders Award "for steadfast support, philanthropy and leadership.” glbthistory.org Sister Dana Sez: "Trump has failed to faithfully execute his duties as president. He has violated the Constitution. He has attempted to obstruct an investigation into potential wrongdoing by his campaign.

He has eroded America's leadership in the world. And that was just in the first six months of his four-year term.

The legal case for impeaching T-rump has never been clearer!"

Photos by Rink

The beautifully restored Hibernia Bank Building at One Jones Street was the setting for a special event of the Golden Gate Business Association held on Tuesday, September 12.

Docent-led tours of the landmark building’s vault, executive suites, cupola and secret basement rooms were available, along with information tables featuring GGBA sponsors and others. Unveiled at the event were the slate of Board candidates for the year ahead and plans for the WBA LGBT Economic Summit to be held in San Francisco during March 2018. Watch for announcements coming soon for GGBA’s October Make Contact event.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

S EPT EM BER 21, 2017

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