San Francisco Bay Times - November 15, 2018

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018) November 15–28, 2018 | sfbaytimes.com

Ushering in a Welcome Progressive Wave tive American and Muslim congresswomen, the f irst refugee, the f irst Somali-American and the first lesbian mom—all Democrats. At 28, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez from New York will be the youngest person (and Democrat) ever elected to serve in Congress. This is the new bench of Democratic Party leadership that we’ve desperately needed.

To the Left, To the Left Peter Gallotta O n November 7t h, Democr at s throughout America breathed a small sigh of relief. The “blue wave” may not have been the tsunami many of us were hoping for, but boy did it deliver results. The biggest, of course, being a Democratic takeover of the House of Representatives. Democrats won 222 seats to Republicans’ 196, with some races still in contention days after the election.

According to The New York Times, 317 of the 435 Congressional districts in the United States swung to the left, voting more Democratic compared with 2016. In a speech on election night, Congresswoman and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi called it a “a new day for America.”

It may be a new day for the Democratic Party, too. Beyond the blue wave, there’s a blue undercurrent forming thanks to a cadre of diverse, inspiring Democratic candidates running up and down the ballot. These candidates are turning out voters and many are winning. The 116th U.S. Congress will include the first Na-

This newly minted Democratic majority also includes many progressive candidates willing to champion policies like “Medicare for All” and take on establishment Democrats, the 1% and corporate elites.

How they work together with the veteran members like Leader Pelosi to set an agenda for the country, and for the Party, will be telling. Their first task—or test—will be choosing a new Speaker of the House. Pelosi wants the gavel back and in no uncertain terms has earned it, but will she get the new progressive class behind her?

Nationally, election day proved hopeful for the LGBTQ community. In Massachusetts, a state ballot measure upholding protections for transgender people in public accommodations passed by over 66%. Colorado voters elected Jared Polis to be their Governor. He makes history as being the first openly gay man to win a governorship in the United States.

Four new LGBT candidates were elected to the House—Chris Pappas, Angie Craig, Katie Hill, and Sharice Davids. Davids is also the f irst openly gay Native American in Congress. Democrats have already signaled that with a majority in the House, they will likely move to pass the Equality Act outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexu-

al orientation and gender identity— a policy that would transform LGBT civil rights throughout the country.

Locally, progressive Democrats and progressive ballot measures ran the field and won. Voters were not buying what the big, special interest money was trying to sell. Instead, San Franciscans elected independent, progressive Supervisors with key victories in District 6 (Matt Haney) and District 4 (Gordon Mar).

For the first time in years, the progressives have a near veto-proof majority on the Board of Supervisors, which means that they can set the agenda and go toe to toe with the Mayor. Their first task in January will be electing a new Board President and it most certainly will be one of the progressive members.

Rumored to be in the running for the job are District 9 Supervisor Hillary Ronen, District 8 Supervisor Rafael Mandelman and newly elected District 10 Supervisor Shamann Walton.

And I wouldn’t count out District 3 Supervisor Aaron Peskin from making a play for it either. The votes will be there; it’s just a question of who can count to six.

Peter Gallotta is a 30-something LGBT political activist holding on to the city that he loves thanks to rent control and two-for-one happy hour specials. He is a former President of the Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club and currently serves as an appointed member of the San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee and an elected delegate to the California Democratic Party.

California State Proposition and SF Local Measure Results, Midterm Election of November 2018 State Proposition 1 - Authorizes Bonds to Fund Specified Housing Assistance Programs. Legislative Statute.

State Proposition 8 - Regulates Amounts Outpatient Kidney Dialysis Clinics Charge for Dialysis Treatment. Initiative Statute.

 YES

 NO

State Proposition 2 - Authorizes Bonds to Fund Existing Housing Program for Individuals with Mental Illness. Legislative Statute.

State Proposition 10 - Expands Local Governments’ Authority to Enact Rent Control on Residential Property. Initiative Statute.

 YES

 NO

State Proposition 3 - Authorizes Bonds to Fund Projects for Water Supply and Quality, Watershed, Fish, Wildlife, Water Conveyance, and Groundwater Sustainability and Storage. Initiative Statute.

State Proposition 11 - Requires Private-Sector Emergency Ambulance Employees to Remain OnCall During Work Breaks. Eliminates Certain Employer Liability. Initiative Statute.

 NO State Proposition 4 - Authorizes Bonds Funding Construction at Hospitals Providing Children’s Health Care. Initiative Statute.

 YES

SA N F RANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

State Proposition 12 - Establishes New Standards for Confinement of Specified Farm Animals; Bans Sale of Noncomplying Products. Initiative Statute.

 YES Local Measure A - Embarcadero Seawall Earthquake Safety Bond

State Proposition 5 - Changes Requirements for Certain Property Owners to Transfer Their Property Tax Base to Replacement Property.

Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.

 YES

 NO

 YES

State Proposition 6 - Eliminates Certain Road Repair and Transportation Funding. Requires Certain Fuel Taxes and Vehicle Fees Be Approved by the Electorate. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.

Local Measure C - Additional Business Taxes to Fund Homeless Services

 NO

2

 YES

Local Measure B - City Privacy Guidelines

 YES Local Measure D - Additional Tax on Cannabis Businesses; Expanding the Businesses Subject to Business Taxes

State Proposition 7 - Conforms California Daylight Saving Time to Federal Law. Allows Legislature to Change Daylight Saving Time Period. Legislative Statute.

 YES

 YES

 YES

Local Measure E - Partial Allocation of Hotel Tax for Arts and Cultural Purposes

Election Recap: Many Celebrations and a Few Tears great deal of good policy coming from this office in the next 4 (or 8!) years.

In the following State races, I predicted a sweep for all of them. As of press time, Ricardo Lara is in a tight race that is still too close to call, but it looks like the late returns are swinging his way.

Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History Louise “Lou” Fischer In my article last month, ( https://bit. ly/2PXlOya ), I noted that the midterm election would be a referendum on which America we will live in for the next 2 years. Unfortunately, we didn’t get everything we wanted: no Beto O’Rourke in Texas, and as of press time, no Andrew Gillum in Florida or Stacey Abrams in Georg ia— but hopefully that will change. On a happier note, we regained control of the House of Representatives and the hope of returning governmental checks and balances, rule of law and basic decency to Trumpian crazytown where no one in the Executive Branch passed 5th grade Civics class and the U.S. Constitution is regarded as an inconvenience.

The story of this election was women, diversity and historic firsts, many involving members of the LGBT community. Highlights of LGBT victories include Sharice Davids of Kansas, the first lesbian Native American elected to Congress, and Angie Craig, the first openly LGBTQ person in Minnesota to win a Congressional seat. Jared Polis of Colorado became the country’s first openly gay governor, and as a double bonus, he’s also the first Jewish governor of that state. According to the Victory Fund, a nonprofit organization dedicated to training and supporting LGBTQ candidates, the “rainbow wave” accounted for a total of 154 wins (as of press time) in federal, state and local races.

On the local front, in last month’s column, I posted my election predictions for local and state candidate races, so let’s see how I did.

Federal: U.S House, Nancy Pelosi, and U.S. Senate, Dianne Feinstein Leader Pelosi ran virtually unopposed and it was a good thing since she spent most of her time supporting the Redto-Blue Headquarters and other “Flip the House” organizations. Some unknown number of newly and re-elected House members owe her their firstborn child or a similarly valuable gift of gratitude and they’d better remember that in January when they vote for Speaker of the House. Senator Feinstein prevailed in the U.S. Senate race, however, Kevin de Leon did capture 45.6% of the votes, so I’m sure we’ll see him again in future elections.

State Assembly: David Chiu in AD 17 and Phil Ting in AD 19 ran virtually unopposed but it still counts as 2-for-2 in my tally.

Governor: I predicted Gavin Newsom; he beat Republican John Cox 59.4% to 40.6%. He’s been the understudy for 8 years and now he takes the stage in the lead role.

Lieutenant Governor: I correctly predicted Eleni Kounalakis; she beat her opponent 55.8% to 44.2%. I campaigned for Eleni and fell madly in “political love” with her. She’s a hard worker and has big plans for her role as Lieutenant Governor. Unlike office holders who preceded her (no names!), she does not see this as a “consolation prize”; we’ll be seeing a

Secretary of State: Alex Padilla Attorney General: Xavier Becerra Treasurer: Fiona Ma Controller: Betty Yee Insurance Commissioner: Ricardo Lara (LGBT) Board of Equalization, District 2: Malia Cohen In the race for Superintendent of Public Instruction I picked Tony Thurmond “for the win in a close race.” I got the “close race” part right.

It’s a nail-biter and still too close to call. I expect this to drag out for a while. As of press time, there are still 4.5 million absentee and provisional votes to count.

Assessor-Recorder, District 8 Supervisor, and Public Defender races were unopposed, so congratulations to Carmen Chu, Rafael Mandelman, and Jeff Adachi respectively. We expect great things from all of you since you didn’t have to raise the equivalent of a Brinks truck full of money to run for office.

In the Community College race, I went 2-for-3. I predicted Thea Selby and either Brigitte Davila or John Rizzo with Victor Olivieri picking up a spot by a “razor-thin margin.” I underestimated the power of incumbency for down-ballot races. Victor ran a good campaign, but came in 4th. If he runs again in 2 years, he’ll have more name visibility and a better chance.

In the Board of Education freefor-all with 19 candidates, I did pretty well. Let’s call it 2-for-3 as I predicted all 3 of the winners—Alison Collins, Faauuga Moliga and Gabriela Lopez—but I thought that Michelle Parker would pick up one of the seats. I recommended Michelle and hope that she runs again in 2 years.

BART Board had 6 solid candidates and I punted on a prediction.

Janice Li prevailed with 30% of the vote. I recommended Melanie Nutter in this race. She came close to tying for 2nd place. Melanie has a fantastic background in public policy and I predict we’ll be voting for her again in a future election.

District Supervisor Races In District 2, I predicted that incumbent Catherine Stefani would win in a “squeaker.” It was hardly a squeaker—Catherine ran a “peoplepowered” campaign with a heavy reliance on eager volunteers and she won decisively. I was proud to wear out the soles of 2 pairs of sneakers for my Emerge Sister. Congratulations, Catherine!

In District 4, I did not make a definitive prediction other than declaring Jessica Ho and Gordon Mar the front runners. Gordon Mar prevailed, but it took 7 rounds (instant runoff ) to hit the 50% threshold. By “moderate” vs “progressive” standards, the Sunset is one of the most conservative districts in the city, so the flip of this district to a progressive candidate is sure to be a game-changer at City Hall.

In District 6, I correctly predicted Matt Haney. He did very well in this race and I hope that his campaign prowess translates to the job of Supervisor as there is a great deal of work to be done in parts of the district that are besieged with homelessness, open-air drug dealing/usage, discarded needles and overall despair by many residents. (continued on page 26) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

3

‘Toto, We’re in Kansas and a Lesbian Will Be Representing Us in Congress!’

6/26 and Beyond John Lewis Who would have thought that of all places, Kansas would elect an openly LGBTIQ person to Congress before San Francisco did?

Certainly not I—hav ing grown up in Kansas City, Missouri, in the 1960s and 70s, just a stone’s throw from the Kansas state line.

But that is exactly what happened with last week’s election of Sharice Davids, a Native American lesbian attorney (and also former professional mixed martial arts fighter), to represent Kansas’ 3rd Congressional District, which includes Kansas City, Kansas and the Kansas suburbs of Kansas City.

How ironic. I met Stuart 31 years ago at a house party here in San Francisco when openly gay Supervisor Harry Britt ran for an open seat in Congress against then newcomer Nancy Pelosi, who, of course, made history herself as the first woman Speaker of the House. But during Pelosi’s tenure, San Francisco has not had the opportunity to elect an LGBTIQ person to Congress for over three decades.

From early on growing up, I knew I wanted to venture out from Kansas City. But many of my high school friends have deep family roots in the Kansas City area and stayed— many, in fact, moving to the Kansas suburbs that elected Davids. One of them is my friend Alex, a gay man who lives in Overland Park, cares for his elderly parents and regularly gets together with his numerous local extended family members spanning multiple generations.

I was particularly repulsed back in 2012 when Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach declared, after four states voted in favor of marriage equality: “If a person wants to live in a San Francisco lifestyle, they can go there ... . If they want to live a Kansas lifestyle, they can come here.” How dare he tell LGBTIQ friends like Alex that they weren’t welcome in their own home?

Last week, Kansas voters sent Kobach a message when they embraced a classic San Francisco value—judging people by the quality of their

character, not their sexual orientation—and elected Davids to Congress and rejected Kobach’s bid to become Governor. Indeed, Governorelect Laura Kelly defeated Kobach by over 20 percentage points in Davids’ Congressional district. When I texted with Alex on election night, he exclaimed: “I’m ecstatic and beyond thrilled.”

Sharice Davids

Kelly’s election will have a direct positive impact on LGBTIQ Kansans. Back in 2007, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius signed a critical executive order prohibiting discrimination against LGBT state employees. But in early 2015, Governor Sam Brownback rescinded the order, just three months after same-sex couples began marrying in the state—in the words of a Kansas City Star opinion piece “for no good reason other than spite and pandering.” Out LGBT state employees, who had just celebrated their new-found freedom to marry, suddenly feared for their jobs and livelihood.

Two days after winning the election, Kelly announced she would reinstate the executive order immediately upon taking office, and if possible under state law, direct adoption agencies with state contracts not to discriminate against prospective LGBT parents.

Davids faced attacks based on her sexual orientation and race during the campaign. An elected Republican precinct committeeman wrote on Facebook to a Davids supporter: “Your radical socialist kick boxing lesbian Indian will be sent back packing to the reservation.”

Davids set a very different tone in her campaign, and the electorate embraced it. On election night, she declared: “There are so many of us who welcome everyone, who see everyone and know that everyone should have the opportunity to succeed ... . The core of this campaign has been about trying to figure out ways to make sure that as many voices and experiences as possible ... are being heard by our elected representatives.” Earlier this year, Davids told The New York Times, “I think it’s important that the lived experiences and the point of view of LGBT folks be included in conversations that affect all of us.”

The Kansas City Star reported that, during the campaign, Davids met with LGBT youth at a local queer space, where she shared her coming out story, listened to the young people’s stories of bullying and comforted them. Davids herself faced housing discrimina-

tion because of her sexual orientation when she worked in South Dakota several years ago. Cassandra Peters, the youth program’s director, told the Star: “She took time to hug each and every one of them and take a picture with them ... . And it was just so comforting for them to think this person is a politician and cares about them.”

And Kansas elected its first two LGBTIQ representatives to the state legislature last week as well.

Davids’ election demonstrates how far we have come as a community nationally and quite possibly points to the way forward for advancing LGBTIQ equality in an era when many fear the federal courts will become less friendly with multiple Trump appointees. As we wait to learn if the Supreme Court will decide whether federal law forbids employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identity as unlawful sex discrimination, Davids will now a have vote in Congress to make such protections explicit.

On election night, Davids told her cheering supporters, “I’m so excited about the fact that we have the opportunity to reset expectations about what people think when they look at Kansas.” I’m feeling a lot of hometown pride myself. It’s profound to me to have this degree of acceptance in my hometown, a place where I never imaged being openly LGBTIQ growing up. Kudos to Davids and Kansas for this victory.

Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.

Twenty contenders competed for $1.5 million in preservation funding, with The Women’s Building receiving nearly 10 percent of all votes cast. Voters clearly heeded the call to participate, and took note of the campaign’s statement that the Building’s windows “have been around since before women had the right to vote!” (The 19th amendment was passed in 1919 and ratified in 1920.

A flag carried by suffragist Alice Paul (1885–1977) is one of many treasures housed in The Women’s Building.) For information about their upcoming events: https://womensbuilding.org/events/ 4

SA N F RANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE WOMEN’S BUILDING

There was much to celebrate at the beautiful and historic Women’s Building in San Francisco on Wednesday, November 7. As reported here in our prior issue, the magnificent structure at 3543 18th Street in the Mission will receive a $160,000 grant to help retrofit its 108-year-old windows. The Women’s Building facilities director Noemi Zulberti, cofounder and renowned civil rights activist Roma Guy, advocacy specialist Vylma Ortiz, Esq., and numerous others gathered for a reception concerning the grant, which was won in a contest hosted by the National Trust for Historic Preservation and American Express.

PHOTO BY RINK

Celebration at The Women’s Building, November 7

Next Votes: Pelosi for Speaker of the House, Person of the Year

Cross Currents

Until we eventually succeed in electing our first female President, Pelosi’s sturdy, strategic leadership will remain one of the most formidable profiles in courage, fortitude and intelligence for decades and generations to come. After all, she might very well have saved our beleaguered, but resilient, republic in one of its darkest hours.

Andrea Shorter

Pelosi, of course, didn’t do it all on her own.

My vote for the next selection of Time magazine’s “Person of the Year” goes to Nancy Pelosi.

The republic itself took to the ballot box in record numbers. With over 39 million early voters in at least 28 states for a midterm election, up from 27 million in 2014, the cold civil war inflamed by the most purposefully divisive President was battled out for a blue wave referendum on this reddish-orange Presidency at the ballot box. Even with the Senate out of strategic reach for a red to blue flip, taking back the House reigned during supreme priority number one as a strike back against the insanity.

Thanks to the genius, persistence, discipline and masterful leadership of House Minority Leader Pelosi—and soon again to be Speaker of the House of Representatives—last week’s midterm election gains of 220 plus seats (and still counting) that won back a Democratic majority of the U.S. House of Representatives were nothing less than epic.

President Trump has been dangerously hellbent on dominating all three branches of government, dissolving all democratic norms and institutions, disregarding rule of law to protect his own personal interests to thwart the FBI investigation and its expected damning findings regarding his campaign’s association with a foreign adversary’s interference with the 2016 U.S. Presidential elections, and has frequently engaged in fraudulent and illegal business dealings.

Pelosi’s highly probable and rightful return as Speaker of the House to ex-

While Madame Speaker’s push for message discipline on the bread and butter issues like healthcare costs, and wages versus fixation on the fiascos of President Trump proved key for candidates poised to take back the House, there was never any denying the fact that once Democrats got a majority foothold to take back the House, dealing with the big elephant in the room, aka Donald Trump, remains an undeniable, unavoidable urgency.

Within 24 hours of an exchange of civil pleasantries, hopes for bipartisanship after a clear Democratic ma-

jority win were quickly overshadowed by the forced resignation (firing) of the U.S. Attorney General followed by the President’s swift move of heaven and earth to install his very own anti-investigation loyal devotee public defender as Acting AG in a shameless, bare naked attempt to stop Mueller’s investigation now—as in move fast before Pelosi and her new big bright blue House opens for business in January to deliver subpoenas, protect the investigation and administer other bothersome constitutional rule of law stuff.

Then, within 24 hours of The Don’s gangsta move, legions of the refreshed republic took to city streets in protest of the latest Nixonian constitutional crisis brewed up in this desperate, but cunning, act to obstruct justice to, well, obstruct justice.

In the meantime, before the last of the confetti hit the f loors of election night, celebrations of elected or reelected women, people of color, immigrants, LGBT governors, congressional members, state legislators and local officials across the country, voter suppression tactics in Georgia sought to stif le another long-anticipated, historic midterm win.

A runner-up selection to Pelosi as Person of the Year? Stacey Abrams.

There was another seismic shift of heaven and earth to deny highly qualified Yale Law School Graduate Stacey Abrams’ very possible win as the first Black woman ever elected governor in any state of the union, least of all over deep south peachy keen Georgia.

How in the world can it be that the man overseeing the state’s elections is a candidate for state office while overseeing the election process that deter-

mines the winner of the race in which he is running? Really? As worse as obstruction is denying justice to deny justice.

Good for candidate Abrams for standing her embattled ground on the civil rights era blood-soaked long, long road from Jim Crow not to concede until every single hard-fought vote is counted.

As the fight to maintain or prop up older, white suburban and working-class voter majority advantage through gerrymandered congressional districts to brace against an inevitable majority minority representation in the electoral process, voter suppression to clearly disenfranchise, discourage and dismiss communities of color (mostly Black and Brown people) reared its ugly head as the default strategic defense.

Voter suppression cannot be dismissed as just ruthless political maneuver.

Voter suppression is an expression of values rooted in maintaining racial division, oppression and disempowerment.

I do wish my friend Andrew Gillum had done the same as Abrams in his too close to call bid for governor of Florida instead of at first throwing in the towel. Apparently, there are thousands more uncounted votes out there in Broward County than what was reported earlier, enough margin tightening votes to force into play a state law required automatic recount in the race.

In the context of the historical significance of that race, protecting the brightness of a real rising star on the national stage was an act of political expediency over principle of assuring that every vote was counted. Bowing out gracefully before an apparent loss

PHOTO COURTESY OF ANDREA SHORTER

act the overdue checks and balances on a wholly imbalanced President will therefore surely cement her place as the most powerful woman in U.S. political history—of any era.

Andrea Shorter with Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi in early 2018

based on potentially faulty numbers?

Come on, now. It’s Florida! Hanging chads ring a bell?

At least Florida voters freed nearly 2 million formerly convicted felons, who paid their debt to society, by restoring their right to vote, making for the brighter moment of the evening from the Sunshine State. With the majority of these renewed voters being people of color, let’s hold fast against further voter suppression tactics to dissuade them from future elections.

Another Person of the Year? #GOTV. To the record-breaking numbers of voters in this do or die, put up or shut up, most important midterm election of our lifetime, whether we were blue, red, purple, pink, brown or green voters, thank you. Thank you for showing up.

It was ugly, but we showed up. Showing-up to the polls, despite any obstacles, interferences and threat to the right to vote is ultimately what saves

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

(continued on page 26)

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

5

When Lovers Become Adversaries Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610

The Bay Times is proud to be the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals.

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Beth Greene Michael Delgado Abby Zimberg Design & Production

Kate Laws Business Manager Blake Dillon Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy Poet-In-Residence J.H. Herren Technology Director Carla Ramos Web Coordinator Mario Ordonez Juan Ordonez Distribution

CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Scott Tsui, Tom Temprano, Lou Fischer, Frankie Bashan, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews, Karen E. Bardsley Photographers Rink, Phyllis Costa, Jane Higgins Paul Margolis, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg, Morgan Shidler, JP Lor ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards http://sfbaytimes.com/ or 415-503-1375 Custom ad sizes are available. Ads are reviewed by the publishers.

National Advertising: Contact Bay Times / San Francisco.

Represented by Rivendell Media: 908-232-2021 Circulation is verified by an independent agency Reprints by permission only.

CALENDAR Submit events for consideration by e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com

Tom Moon, MFT The kinds of issues that couples bring to couple counseling do not comprise a large list. The two most common topics involve sex (such as different levels of desire; we’re both tops/bottoms; open versus monogamous) and money (income disparities, budgeting, setting spending priorities, etc.)

There are also issues rooted in basic personality differences, such as introversion versus extroversion, and habits—like neat versus messy. With most of these, it’s entirely possible for couples to find some resolution or at least a way to live with their differences. But for too many couples, disagreements devolve into bitter conflict. How does this happen, and can we avoid it?

Mayor London Breed on November 8 proclaimed Women’s Entrepreneurship Day (WED) in San Francisco.

Launched in New York in 2014, WED is a global initiative with the mission to celebrate, support and empower women in business worldwide. Involving the United Nations, the event is the world’s largest celebrations of women innovators and job creators launching startups that bring ideas to life, drive economic growth and expand human welfare.

Held at the Center for Arts & Culture in San Francisco, WED began with keynote speaker Renata George, the founder of Women VC and VC Academy. Other featured speakers included Latisha Taylor, CEO and founder of Health Measured; Odile Roujol, founder of BeautyTechSF; Noreen King, CEO and founder of Evolve

Before we begin the conversation, we need to be very clear that our intention is not just to get what we want, but to foster a more meaningful relationship and mutual satisfaction.

And when we listen to the partner’s responses, we need to make sure that our intention isn’t just to wait until it’s our turn to speak, but to listen with empathy, which Rosenberg describes as “emptying the mind and listening with our whole being.” The purpose

Instead of proposing mutually acceptable solutions and looking for common ground, each fights to “win.”

They make demands that implicitly or explicitly threaten the other person with blame or punishment if s/ he fails to comply. This violent style of communication is a default position for many of us because it’s taught and modeled in our culture. Its futility is clear when it’s laid out in plain English, but when we’re in the thick of a

MFG; and Elizabeth Andrew of HelloSign.

Being free of demands means that we’re open to hearing “no” without going into battle to try to force the outcome we want. In Nonviolent Communication, we’re taught that if we receive a “no” to a request, we don’t give up, but try instead to empathize with what is preventing the other person from saying “yes,” before deciding how to continue. When the focus is on listening, understanding and making clear requests, we don’t always get our own way, but the chances of a successful resolution to the conflict vastly improve.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http://tommoon.net/

Randy Coleman NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

Taylor, who was selected as the Global Vice Director of Sponsorship Partners of WED, told the San Francisco Bay Times: “This moment makes me feel confident for women in business.

However, it is what we do now, moving forward, that makes the biggest difference.

Nicole Lindler, policy advisor to Mayor Breed, read a proclamation that included, “The incredible work of WED truly represents San Francisco values at their best. We must celebrate and support women to build their own businesses, to innovate and to really represent the full range of society in which they participate.”

George added, “I see WED as a great way to acknowledge how much courage it has taken women to overcome all the challenges they’ve faced on their way to becoming a force. Not a destructive force, however, but one that allows all of us to achieve truly outstanding results working together with men and to help them be their better selves.”

She added, “We are seeing more women take risks, and blazing the path for new eras of female leadership, and as entrepreneurs, women are redefining the status quo. They are leaving their marks on the economy, and San Francisco is one of the highest-ranking cities for women who own their own businesses. This is something truly to be celebrated.”

Participants at Women’s Entrepreneurship Day in SF from left to right: Tom McCleod, Co-Founder of Omni; Odile Roujol, Founder of BeautyTechSF; Lindsey Haswell, General Counsel of Lime; Elizabeth Andrew, Senior Sales at HelloSign.

SF Sketch

SA N F RANCISCO BAY T I ME S

All human beings share the same basic needs: we want meaningful relationships in which we’re safe, respected, treated fairly, heard and loved.

Once we have enough self-empathy to know our own needs intimately, we’re more able to recognize, and be compassionate toward, the same needs in our partners. Only when we have this empathic foundation are we prepared to have productive conversations and to negotiate effectively with our partners.

The crucial pivot that makes it possible to transform interminable conf licts into satisfying cooperation is to move from communication that is moralistic and focused on winning to dialogue that is focused on identifying our needs and making requests that they be met. Only when we’re correctly focused does it become possible to make clear, concrete and respectful requests that our needs be met. We make a request for a specific action, free of demands.

Women’s Entrepreneurship Day Proclaimed

by Mayor London Breed

© 2018 Bay Times Media Company Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegas

6

This finding aligns with one of the core ideas of Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication. Rosenberg discovered that attempts to negotiate differences break down when, instead of communicating with the purpose of clarifying their respective needs, feelings and perceptions, the parties become diverted into judging each other. They make moralistic judgments and resort to blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticisms, hostile comparisons and diagnoses.

They use coercive or manipulative language that attempts to induce fear, guilt and shame in what has now become an adversary.

of the dialogue at this point is not to score points, but instead to understand what needs each of us brings to the conversation.

Randy Coleman hails from New York, but has lived in San Francisco since 1975.

Coleman shares that before moving to the Bay Area, he studied Art History and Architecture at Boston University while working as a resident artist for architectural rendering at a Massachusetts historical society. “All of my life I’ve been an artist,” Coleman says. “To know me is to know that I have a passion for art and architecture. I love this project for the San Francisco Bay Times, and hope that you enjoy my sketches.” © Randy Coleman, 2018

“It was truly an honor to Latisha Taylor (left) and Nicole Lindler during the reading of the proclamation for Women’s Entrepreneurship Day from the participate in WED SF,” Office of Mayor London Breed.

Andrew told the San Francisco Bay Times. “This event world’s income. The organizers of and the inspiring conversations re- WED hope to change that, and the mind me that women all have the gathering will now take place annualstrength, determination and unstop- ly in San Francisco. pable will to accomplish anything!”

For more information: Taylor shared that women account https://wedsanfrancisco.com/ for 85 percent of consumer purchases and control $20 trillion in worldwide spending. At the same time, they perform 66 percent of the world’s work and only earn 10 percent of the

ELISA CICINELLI PHOTOGRAPHY

The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

Examined Life

That’s why the first step in getting out of the self-defeating cycle is to work at developing self-empathy. That means noticing, without self-blame, the thoughts, feelings and judgments we’re having. Most importantly, it means connecting with our needs.

This is crucial, because anger and conflict always point to needs that we feel aren’t being met.

ELISA CICINELLI PHOTOGRAPHY

E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

struggle, our conditioning too often overrides our better judgment.

Couple researcher John Gottman found a “harsh startup” predicts a bad outcome in any conversation about 96% of the time. When the person who initiates the discussion begins with attacks, accusations or criticisms, it’s almost certain that the conversation will end on the same hostile note on which it began.

40th Anniversary Milk & Moscone Vigil

A New Progressive Era with Inspiration from Milk, Moscone

By Peter Gallotta

On November 27 at 5 pm, the Castro Theatre will host a free screening of the Oscar-winning documentary The Times of Harvey Milk. At 7 pm, there will be a memorial vigil at Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro organized by the Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club and featuring District 8 Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, labor leaders, and contemporaries of Milk. Afterwards, we will march, with candles, to City Hall, where there will be additional community reflections.

The new Democratic and progressive wave—locally and nationally—would be wise to heed the example of Moscone and Milk’s leadership. As progressive elected leaders, they challenged the status quo and moneyed interests, and brought together communities at the intersection of identities and issues.O That’s how they

ES TIM AYPhoto BRink Throwback S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area ) CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018

O

n the evening of November 27, 1978, following the assassinations of Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone, an estimated 25,000– 40,000 mourners formed a spontaneous candlelight march from Castro Street to City Hall.

Rink, a friend of Milk’s, was there to capture this somber and unforgettable moment in our city’s history.

1978

It is hard to convey the shock and grief that were felt upon learning of the deaths.

As the faces in this photo show, the marchers were stunned, with the horrific news not even having been fully processed yet. It is a testament to our community’s resilient spirit that such a march even took place at all. Instead of mourning the losses alone, residents turned to their friends and other loved ones, desiring to be with others and to honor the losses in a shared, public way.

Stephen Torres of the Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club said, “The double horror of Jonestown, followed by the slaying of Harvey Milk and George Moscone, was a crushing trauma to the heart and soul of San Francisco, and yet in that darkness we rose together in candlelight not only to remember those we had lost but to strengthen and galvanize ourselves to continue their fight and vision.”

A candlelight vigil has taken place on November 27 ever since, with this year marking the 40th anniversary. Let’s help to make it one of the largest remembrances ever of Milk and Moscone. Please consider joining Rink and others at 7 pm on November 27 at Harvey Milk Plaza to, as Torres says, “mark this 40 years in the same simplicity of the candlelight vigil” that was held in 1978.

8

SA N F RANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

built political power and created change, by pushing San Francisco to become the modern, progressive city that it is today.

40 years later, it’s a reminder that whom we elect still matters. If hope must never be silent, neither can we be in demanding the kind of government and leadership that we deserve. Power concedes nothing without a demand.

To everyone who phone banked, canvassed, volunteered, and turned out to vote on November 6—thank you. We demanded better as a city and as a country. Let’s march together on November 27 to remind the world that Moscone and Milk live on. They paved the way, and a new progressive era has begun.

Peter Gallotta is a 30-something LGBT political activist holding on to the city that he loves thanks to rent control and two-for-one happy hour specials. He is a former President of the Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club and currently serves as an appointed member of the San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee and an elected delegate to the California Democratic Party.

The Day That I Became a Supporter of Harvey Milk

By Roma Guy It’s a lway s specia l when someone who represents the best of a movement remains alive in us. Harvey Milk exemplifies such a remarkable individual.

When I think of him now, both his dynamic personality and vis iona r y leader sh ip come to mind. What few people mention is that Harvey had a grand sense of humor, which surfaced in everything from headline-grabbing stunts against dog poop in public parks to tired campaign volunteers.

“L et me show you the holes in my secRoma Guy and Cleve Jones ond-hand shoes. I’m a Muni rider, so I walk a lot,” he teased us one day while sitting on the steps of his front stoop.

I was not among his earliest of supporters, but was urged to do so by Gwenn Craig, Cleve Jones, Anne Kronenberg and others.

I became a supporter the day that I attended one of Harvey’s first campaign rallies when he spoke loudly and insightfully about how our claim to our “gayness” was the way to build our collective gay rights and to gain the heart and soul of allies.

His political openness to invite lesbian icon Sally Gearhart to debate Briggs in 1978 [California Proposition 6, known as the Briggs Initiative] was a big deal for activist lesbians. He claimed that our vision and success among ourselves was the path to fight for our right to be an integral part of the larger civil rights movement of the day, and that we needed to be there, “out” and out-standing advocates for “housing, the elderly and the poorest among us.”

From that day on, I was in with Harvey, with every bone in my body.

Harvey Milk remains one of our singular community movement building architects who continues to inspire us today in the broader civil and human rights movements.

Renowned civil rights activist Roma Guy co-founded the San Francisco Women’s Building, San Francisco Women Against Rape, The Women’s Foundation and La Casa de las Madres.

From 1996–2008, she served on the San Francisco Health Commission. She was appointed Co-Chair, along with the Director of Public Health and Sheriff, to the City/County and Community Jail Replacement Project 2016–2017, to develop alternative recommendations to incarceration, and she continues to work on this and other multicultural social justice issues.

PHOTO BY RINK

This year, San Franciscans will gather once again to remember Supervisor Harvey Milk and George Moscone. November 27, 2018, marks the 40th anniversary of their shocking murders at City Hall. It was a day that many San Franciscans will never forget and it changed the course of history.

40th Anniversary Milk & Moscone Vigil

A Victory and a Massacre

By Cleve Jones (Editor’s Note: For this issue’s remembrance of Supervisor Harvey Milk on the 40th anniversary of his and San Francisco Mayor George Moscone’s assassinations on November 27, 1978, we present in its entirety Chapter 18 of Cleve Jones’ memoir When We Rise: My Life in the Movement (Hachette Books, 2016).

Jones, a founding contributor to the San Francisco Bay Times, worked with Milk as a dedicated LGBT and civil rights activist. After Milk’s death, Jones co-founded the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and conceived the idea of the AIDS Memorial Quilt. Continuing his efforts as a labor activist, Jones remains an inspiring leader.

We believe that When We Rise should be required reading for all, and particularly for those desiring an honest, firsthand account of the LGBT movement from someone who has been at its epicenter for decades.)

San Francisco’s united campaign to defeat Proposition 6 opened headquarters at 2275 Market Street in the building that once was the Shed, where I had danced as a teenage refugee from Phoenix years before. Bill Kraus and Gwenn Craig were hired to coordinate the effort, and volunteers streamed through the doors every day to walk precincts and staff the phone banks.

Harvey was eager to show off our new power to the old powers and brought Congressman Burton in for a visit to see for himself the energy our campaign had harnessed.

Burton was indeed impressed, and said so. Harvey was on a roll. I introduced him to Sally Gearhart and the two became our spokespeople for the media and debates.

One day at the end of August Jack Lira called Harvey at City Hall repeatedly, complaining that Harvey was always late coming home. Jack wasn’t getting enough attention, he was drinking even more, and his outbursts were exhausting not only Harvey, but also his assistants Dick Pabich and Anne Kronenberg and everyone else.

Harvey finished work and headed home to Jack, but it was too late. He found Jack’s body hanging behind a curtain. Notes from Jack accusing Harvey of neglecting him were all over the apartment and also tucked into books and files and behind pictures. We’d be f inding them for years to come.

Devastated, Harvey threw himself even more into the campaign.

I decided not to go back to school at SF State. I couldn’t bear sitting in class. It always felt like I was missing the action entirely. My teachers didn’t inspire me and the only pleasure I got on campus was at the meetings of the gay and lesbian student organization. But Harvey intervened and told me quite sternly that I had to stay in school. He arranged for me to work in his office as an intern, earning credits in the political science program.

The weekend before my first day of work in City Hall I begged a used suit from a friend. Harvey laughed when he saw me.

“I want you to wear jeans to the office, your tightest jeans. It makes Dianne Feinstein nervous.” After a few

Cleve Jones

weeks we both noticed that my tight pants also seemed to bother another member of the Board, Supervisor Dan White.

By the end of September the campaign against Briggs had become the single largest political effort ever launched to defend the rights of gay and lesbian people. Millions of dollars were raised and tens of thousands of volunteers were mobilized to take our campaign’s message directly to the voters.

It wasn’t just the campaign that was heating up. The last week of September 1978 was one of the hottest on record, with the temperature in San Francisco soaring over 90 degrees. The volunteers wore shorts and carried canteens of water as they kept on walking precinct after precinct.

The shirts came off at the Castro Street Fair in early October as muscle hunks, drag queens, lesbians and belly dancers and bands entertained the thousands of fairgoers jammed into the two blocks from Market to 19th Street. I was working the fair and Danton [Cleve’s lover at the time] had left early.

Later, as the cleanup crews packed up the garbage and hosed down the street, I took a bus towards Danton’s apartment, looking forward to resting my head on his broad shoulders and smoothly muscled chest.

I let myself in quietly and opened the door to Danton’s room only to discover a skinny blond boy on my side of the bed. Danton scrambled to cover them with the sheets but I’d seen more than enough and ran out to the street in tears.

The next day Harvey listened to my tale of woe with a sad smile and let me wallow in it for a few minutes.

“We’re not like heterosexuals, and shouldn’t try to be. You’re going to have many lovers, Cleve. You’re going to meet so many beautiful men and fall in love so many times. It won’t be until the end of your life, when you look back, that you will know who were your greatest lovers and dearest friends.”

He meant well, but it wasn’t particularly comforting. Decades later, though, I’d learn how right he was. On Wednesday, October 11, 1978, Harvey Milk and Sally Gearhart debated John Briggs and other supporters of Proposition 6 in the town of Walnut Creek in Contra Costa County, about twenty-

five miles northeast of San Francisco. I wanted to go but there wasn’t room for me in the car, so I watched the debate on closed circuit TV at Mission High School. Harvey and Sally were calm and strong and brilliant and the crowd at Mission High laughed and cheered as Harvey and Sally demolished Briggs. We knew Harvey was driving back to Castro Street, and I waited for him at the Elephant Walk bar on the corner of 18th Street. Harvey walked in to applause, grinning, with one hand behind his back. He gave me a hug and held out a paper bag from the doughnut shop across the street.

We sat down and he put a candle on the doughnut and beamed at me. He had remembered. “Happy Birthday, Cleve.” I was 24 years old.

The polls showed that we were narrowing the gap, and more and more newspapers across the state editorialized against Proposition 6. But Harvey was pessimistic and called me in to talk about what would happen if we were defeated. I knew exactly what would happen: there would be a riot. Everyone knew it.

It was talked about on the sidewalks on sunny afternoons, in Golden Gate and Dolores parks, and in the bars on Castro, Folsom, Polk, and Haight Streets.

Harvey told me, “We don’t want to burn down our own neighborhood.”

I knew he was remembering the riots following the assassination of Dr. King in 1968 and the Watts Rebellion of 1965. “If it happens, march them downtown, Cleve. Get them out of the Castro fast.”

We’d had this conversation before.

We were a nonviolent people, deeply influenced by the civil disobedience traditions espoused by Gandhi, Dr. King, and the Quakers. But there was also a sense that some kind of rebellion was inevitable and maybe even necessary. After all, Stonewall was a riot.

The weather stayed warm, unusually warm, and the streets and bars were full every night as if no one could sleep. There was only one topic: what would it be like to win, what would happen if we lost.

On November 1, former Governor Ronald Reagan announced his opposition to Proposition 6. He was gearing up to run against Jimmy Carter, who had already come out against the measure.

In every county of California our volunteers worked around the clock, knocking on doors, dropping literature and leaf leting shopping centers, churches, colleges, and universities. Get-out-the-vote rallies were held, television ads were aired, and I began to think it might really be possible, that we just might win.

Harvey still was grim. “Just make sure you’re ready to march.”

On Tuesday, November 7, our volunteers headed out at dawn. Harvey spent most of the day talking with the press while Gwenn Craig, Bill Kraus, Dick Pabich, and Jim Rivaldo directed operations at the headquarters. It was a long day, but then

it was over and the results came in.

We had won.

And we won big: 58.4 percent voting no, 41.6 percent vot i ng yes. T he party began.

“Harvey, you look d isappointed.” I laughed at him.

“I think you were looking forward to that riot.”

He grinned back at me and shrugged, “Some people are sore losers, maybe I’m a sore winner.”

The riots he had pred icted wou ld eventually come, but Harvey would not be there to see them. We had won the first statewide election victory in the history of our young movement.

Three days later, on November 10, Harvey got another surprise. Dan White, the supervisor from District 8, resigned with a petulant rant about corruption in City Hall and the challenges of raising a family on a supervisor’s salary. This meant that Mayor George Moscone would have the opportunity to appoint White’s successor. Harvey was delighted, knowing that the liberal Moscone now had the chance to flip the 6–5 conservative-liberal ratio to a liberal majority. Then, on November 14, Dan White changed his mind and asked the mayor to give him back his job. White’s backers at the Police Officers Association (POA), appalled by his resignation, had leaned on him hard.

The POA had good reason to be concerned by the potential of a liberal majority on the board of supervisors. The NAACP had been fighting the segregation of the city’s police and fire departments for years and won a federal consent decree to integrate both departments. The Board was to implement the order.

As a conservative former cop and firefighter, White’s vote was crucial to the old guard of the SFPD. The warm weather held for another four days. Then, on November 18, the temperature plummeted and the city was blanketed with cold grey fog.

Outside Port Kaituma, Guyana, 4,396 miles away, the insane final chapter of Reverend Jim Jones and his People’s Temple played out in the hot and humid jungle. It was called a mass suicide by the media but it was in fact a mass murder, orchestrated by a madman who took with him almost a thousand San Franciscans.

The images of their bloated bodies piled around the encampment stunned the city. People stood in small groups by the newspaper stands, shivering in the cold. Parents struggled to explain the photographs to their children. Those of us who had visited People’s Temple or interacted with their members were both sickened and terrified. Rumors spread of death squads coming from Guyana to continue the slaughter.

Decades later, people who had not yet even been born in 1978 would blithely use the phrase, “drinking the Kool-Aid” without a clue as to its origin.

For most San Franciscans, all other issues were temporarily forgotten as we absorbed the enormity of the tragedy in Jonestown. Few were paying attention to Dan White’s whining little drama. But Harvey was.

When word got out that Mayor Moscone was considering reappointing Dan White, Harvey went ballistic and confronted Moscone.

Harvey believed that this was a chance to fundamentally reshape the city’s politics, with a new majority committed to defending the most vulnerable of our citizens—renters, seniors, kids, and minorities, including gay people. Harvey organized support for a neighborhood activist from District 8 named Don Horanzy. Horanzy was a liberal but moderate enough to have a chance of reelection in the blue-collar white ethnic neighborhoods of the district.

On Sunday night, November 26, a reporter from KCBS Radio named Barbara Taylor called Dan White at home to tell him that she had learned Mayor Moscone would not be reappointing White to the Board of Supervisors.

I got up early on Monday, November 27, because I knew that Harvey’s City Hall aide Anne Kronenberg would be out of town, visiting her parents in Seattle. Dick Pabich, Harvey’s other paid staffer, was planning on leaving City Hall soon to start a political consulting firm with Jim Rivaldo. Harvey had told me that I could have Pabich’s job if I would agree to take at least one class per semester towards my degree. I was eager to show Harvey how useful I could be and arrived at City Hall before him. I wasn’t the only intern; working with me was a baby dyke named Kory White and Debra Jones, a black heterosexual woman who adored Harvey and wanted to help build coalitions between the gay/lesbian community and African Americans. She was also keenly interested in urban planning issues, more so than me.

As it turned out, Harvey was less than impressed with me that morning. I’d left a file in my apartment that he wanted to see. Anticipating a reelection campaign challenge, on page 10) I’d been doing(continued some research on po-

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

9

PHOTO BY RINK

40th Anniversary Milk & Moscone Vigil

(continued from page 9) tential opponents, including Leonard Matlovich and Chuck Morris, publisher of the gay and lesbian newspaper the Sentinel. He frowned when I told him I didn’t have the file and told me to go back to my place on Castro Street and bring it back. He was abrupt, but when he saw my crestfallen face he softened and said, “Take your time, I hear Local 2 is picketing the Patio Café. Say hi to them, get some lunch, and I’ll see you this afternoon.”

The Patio Café was originally a bakery. In the early ’70s it was transformed into the Bakery Café, one of the most lovely and relaxing places to have an espresso and a pastry while reading or studying. Behind the building was a large space covered with lawn and a beautiful garden of hydrangeas, abutilons, foxglove, and fuchsias.

The f lowers attracted hummingbirds and butterflies that hummed in abundance.

The Bakery Café was sold, and a guy from Germany named Wolfgang took over. He was tall and handsome but I couldn’t stand him and neither could his employees, who approached Local 2 of HERE, the Hotel Employees and Restaurant Employees Union, for help in organizing.

I retrieved the file from my apartment and walked the half block to the Patio Café, grabbed a picket sign, and began walking with the other picketers. I knew a few of them, told them that Harvey sent his regards and got in a conversation with one about the giant ugly deck that Wolfgang had built over the beautiful garden area. The f lowers and hummingbirds were gone.

After about f ifteen minutes the 24-Divisadero bus drove up and slowed down to stop at 18th Street.

A woman I recognized from the Women’s Building yelled at me out of the bus window, “Cleve, it’s on the radio, they shot Mayor Moscone.” I dropped my picket sign and ran to the curb to hail a taxi. As the cab sped down Market Street, I wondered who “they” were. I figured it was either death 10

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

Cleve Jones spoke at the annual Milk/Moscone rally in 2011 held at Harvey Milk Plaza.

squads from People’s Temple or the cops.

tant enough to be assassinated.” We press the play button.

The driver dropped me off on Van Ness Avenue at the western side of City Hall. I ran in, seeing the police swarming around the mayor’s office on the other side of the building. The cops frightened me and I ran up the stairs. The Board of Supervisors was on the second f loor, and each supervisor had a small office opening to a private hallway that ran parallel to the public hallway. There was a passageway that connected the ornate supervisors’ chambers to the reception area and the hall to the individual offices.

And now he is dead and it is all over and we are listening to his voice tell us that he always knew this is how it would go down.

Harvey had given me a key to the passageway, and as I let myself in I saw even more police officers running up the stairs. I felt panic in my chest and turned left towards the offices, looking for Harvey, when Dianne Feinstein and an assistant rushed past me. Feinstein’s sleeve and hand were streaked with dark red.

I looked down the hallway and saw Harvey’s feet sticking out from Dan White’s office. I recognized his secondhand wingtip shoes immediately.

Then my memory shifts to slow motion.

I float to the door of White’s office and peer in. There is a cop there, on his knees, turning Harvey’s body over. I see his head roll. I see blood, bits of bone, brain tissue. Harvey’s face is a hideous purple. I feel all the air leave my lungs. My brain freezes. I cannot breathe or think or move.

He is dead. I have never seen a dead person before.

I struggle to comprehend, as my mind begins to understand what my eyes are seeing. The only thing I can think is that it is over. It is all over. He was my mentor and friend and he is gone. He was our leader and he is gone. It is over.

We are there for hours, trapped in his little office as they bundle up his body. People come in. More cops. We find Harvey’s old cassette player and the taped message he had recorded in anticipation of his assassination. I’d known of the tape and teased him a bit, “Who do you think you are, Mr. Milk? Dr. King?

Malcolm X? I don’t think you’re impor-

This is what he expected.

This is what he was willing to do. This is what had to happen.

And all I can think, all I can say to myself, is, “It’s over. It’s all over.” And then the sun goes down and the people begin to gather.

They come from all over the Bay Area: young and old; black and brown and white; gay and straight; immigrant and native-born; men and women and children of all races and backgrounds streaming into Castro Street—Harvey’s street— faces wet with tears, hands clutching candles. Hundreds, then thousands, then tens of thousands fill the street and begin the long slow march down Market Street to City Hall, a river of candlelight moving in total silence through the center of the city.

There were songs and speeches but I remember none of them. I stood there in Civic Center Plaza in the midst of an ocean of candlelight, in front of the building where Harvey had died, in the middle of the city he had come to love and that had come to love him back in equal measure. And now it was all over.

My friends and I walked slowly back to Castro Street. Police cruisers lined Market Street and followed the returning marchers, but they kept their distance. Had they been closer we might have heard what they were hearing: over the police radio, the cops were singing Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.

From glen to glen and down the mountain side ...

Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

I was wrong. It wasn’t over. It was just beginning.

For more information on Cleve Jones and “ W he n We Rise”: https://www.clevejones.com/

Thanks Giving Can Be an Everyday Event practice each and every day, in all aspects of my life.

I count my blessings before going to sleep each night. Gratitude is a value that I’m working hard to instill in my young twins. And it’s something I’ve woven into the company that I helped to found, Brio Financial Group. In fact, as corny as it may sound, our team starts off every Monday sitting around the conference table, listing to what we’re grateful for.

Money Matters Brandon Miller For this month’s column, I’d like to share something that’s an essential part of me—because I think it may benefit you, too.

What I’m talking about is gratitude and the role it plays in who you are.

Once turkeys begin filling grocery store meat cases, many people start preparing their “what I’m grateful for” speech for Thanksgiving dinner.

While I love that tradition, I don’t limit my thanks giving to just one day.

In fact, it’s something I consciously

By now you may be thinking, wait, isn’t this a column about money?

What does being grateful have to do with finances?

Call me an eternal optimist, but I genuinely believe that being grateful for what you have can make you richer— not necessarily in dollars-and-cents wealth, but in how you feel about your life, which is so much more important.

Here in the Bay Area, it’s easy to feel poor financially. Watching 20-somethings pay cash for multi-million-dollar homes after winning the start-up lottery can evoke that green-eyed monster. Or you might feel jealous of friends who can afford to retire years (continued on page 26)

Judging the Value of Appearances plicity or ease of cleaning. This one isn’t for the kids.

Auto Philip Ruth “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” We’ve all heard some version of that advice, and it affirms that appearances are more than just what our eyes see; they also contribute to our states of mind.

These ideas came up after driving this month’s test car duo, the Nissan Pathfinder and Infiniti QX60. They’re essentially the same full-sized, threerow crossovers under the skin, made by the same company under different brands.

But their surfaces and interiors are unique. The Infiniti is pricier than the Nissan, and each has its style: the Pathfinder is mass-market suburban, while the QX60 is more urban-chic.

Even though these two are functionally similar, it’s a good bet that many buyers of one wouldn’t bother with the other.

The asking prices ref lect their separate missions. Base price for the cheapest 2019 Pathfinder is just about $32,000, and the tested Pathf inder Platinum came in a bit less than $50,000. Meanwhile, the QX60 starts at about $45,000, and the dolled-up Luxe tester chimed in at $66,000. Note the nomenclature— Nissan’s Platinum evokes solid investment, while Infiniti’s Luxe promises something more indulgent.

And it delivers, particularly when you opt for the QX60’s $3,500 “Sensory Package.” While some of it can be ordered on the Pathfinder—motionactivated tailgate, panoramic moonroof—this package adds QX60-exclusive “Hour Glass Seat Quilting” to the first and second rows. Dense quilted patterns are a nod to exotic brands like Bentley, which trade in upholstery selections that eschew sim-

The rest of the Pathf inders and QX60s are f irmly family-rated, though. The front buckets are large, with plump contouring. Second-row passengers will find comfy perches on the “EZ FLEX” folding 60/40 seat, which smoothly glides forward to provide a path to hoist yourself into the split-folding third row. A crossover’s rearmost row is often a source of disappointment for those wanting to host more than children back there, but the Pathfinder/QX60’s is roomy enough for you to wedge reasonablysized adults back there for the corporate lunch run.

The architecture surrounding the seats is pleasing in both models, and they share a clear lineage. The aforementioned quilting is one of the Infiniti’s few singular nods, as most of the rest of it is a zingier version of the Nissan. Whether it’s the door panel trim or the taillights, the shapes of the Nissan are slimmer and stronger in the Infiniti. Fit and finish were excellent in both, so it’s the styling and textures that justify the Infiniti’s higher price.

Those prices are justified when a buyer is willing to pay. Many of my fellow journalists examine the scant functional differences and favor the Nissan. But its suburban mildness might not suffice if you’re a salesperson and cultivating a prosperous image, even as you need a roomy third row. In that case, the Infiniti becomes an unlikely logical choice as you measure the value of appearances.

Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant ( www.gaycarguy.com ). Check out his automotive staging service at www.carstaging.com

Nissan Pathfinder

Infiniti QX60 S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

11

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Let’s Get Serious I found myself complaining the other day about The New York Times op-ed columnist Gail Collins, who frequently writes satiric and flip commentary at a time in our lives as Americans when we face serious and devastating threats to our national institutions. How can she joke around when we have a racist blimp in the oval office, I wondered aloud to my wife, who stared at me with an expression I eventually understood to suggest that I look in the mirror. I know I don’t write for The New York Times, but I suppose I am guilty of trivializing the world and our GLBT community in the pages of the San Francisco Bay Times.

Sorry.

My list for today, for example, begins with a plan to make fun of the Duluth underwear commercials. This at a time when the newly conservative High Court is poised to consider several Title VII petitions at their November 30 conference, and when antigay hostility is on the rise along with a general animus against minorities.

There’s an intensified crackdown on gays in Tanzania, where a task force has been created to hunt down homosexuals for prison sentences of 30 years to life.

The Episcopal Bishop of Albany has chosen to disregard newly established Church policy and deny marriages to gay men and lesbians.

Another antigay cake case is possibly headed to the Supreme Court.

A therapist who specializes in trying to convert gays to heterosexuality has been caught soliciting men online.

And in good news, we elected a gay governor in Colorado, a bisexual Senator in Arizona and a bunch of GLBT members of Congress.

But what’s at the top of my news list?

The Duluth underwear cartoons with the sonorous baritone voice-over that promises “no sweat, no stink.”

Why would there ever be sweat or stink on a man or woman who bathes regularly? This is a repellent image and it goes hand in hand with the recent trend of bringing intimate matters to the public square via gross TV ads. I’m looking at you, fussy toilet paper Bears. However, in view of my recent revelation, I will avoid a lengthy discourse on the subject. Moving on.

Midterm Pride So, Colorado’s Jared Polis, a member of Congress since 2009, has become the first openly gay man elected governor in our nation’s history. We don’t count James McGreevey, who came out of the closet and resigned as governor of New Jersey. In fact, the Polis campaign, where sexual orientation was not much of a factor, illustrates how far we’ve come since McGreevey sheepishly left office back in 2004. And it surely illustrates how far we’ve come since the state of Colorado amended its constitution to proactively ban gay civil rights laws. That 1992 public vote, ratifying Amendment 2, led to the 1996 Supreme Court ruling in Romer v Evans, confirming that the constitutional rights of gay men and women cannot be summarily ignored.

Keep in mind that we already have a bisexual governor in Oregon’s Kate Brown, and we already have a lesbian Senator in Tammy Baldwin, who was easily reelected to her seat from Wisconsin. Now, we have also gained a bisexual Senator, Senator-elect Kyrsten Sinema, who narrowly edged Martha McSally in Arizona.

Meanwhile, we elected two new lesbian members of Congress: Sharice Davids in the Kansas City suburbs and Angie Craig out of Minnesota. California’s member-elect Katie Hill is bisexual, and New Hampshire’s Chris Pam12

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

pas is a gay man. These four will join four currently serving GLBT members: Mark Takana, Mark Pocan, Sean Maloney and David Cicilline.

On the state level, transwomen won two races in the New Hampshire House, while the voters of Massachusetts held back an attempt to repeal the Bay State’s transgender civil rights law. Dozens of gay men and lesbians won state legislative races, while a host of others in our community won local posts.

We did pretty well, rainbow people!

And yet we still have you-know-who schlumping through the West Wing in a simmering rage.

Gay CEO Comes to Streisand’s Aid As usual, I got distracted by seductive internet links as I was researching the latest GLBT news. This time, I sidestepped into a 12-minute carpool karaoke with Barbra Streisand where I learned that Streisand called Apple CEO Tim Cook because she was dissatisfied with the way Siri pronounced her name. I guess she also rang up Steve Jobs when she couldn’t figure out how to delete an address on her iPhone.

Well, why not? She’s earned it. Oh, and of course Tim Cook fixed everything.

Siri was saying “Streizand” with a z instead of an s sound.

Perhaps I’m just having trouble orienting myself in this strange new world we live in, a world where the most despicable, cruel, ignorant and self-centered human being on the planet is sent out to represent us—our country, our history and our ideals. A world where some part of me wants to hide out for the next two years and binge watch Scandinavian TV. Not just the detective shows.

I’d like to immerse myself in Slow TV on Netflix. This morning, for example, I am a couple of hours through a seven-hour train trip from Bergen to Oslo.

Just pulling into the Urdland station now. Oh, we’re not stopping. We just slowed down and continued on. Okay then!

We read a short story in grade school about a man who decided to stay in bed forever. I just found it, The Man Who Wouldn’t Get Up by David Lodge. As the narrator explains: “The fact was, he no longer had any love of life. The thought pierced him with a kind of thrill of despair. I no longer love life. There is nothing in life which gives me pleasure any more. Except this: lying in bed.”

I remember being unconvinced at the time that anyone could feel this way, sane or insane. And yet now it has a certain appeal. With Slow TV and a bartender on call, I think I could handle this way of life. Ding ding ding. Service, please! But now I also wonder, why did our fifth-grade teacher assign this existential tale in the first place?

Speaking of Bears I know you want me to tell you more about the hypocritical therapist caught with his pants down after playing the antigay card all his professional life. I know my readers. You don’t care about Title VII or the Episcopalian Church.

You want the dirt, the scuttlebutt, the color, the schadenfreude.

So, Norman Goldwasser, the clinical director of Horizon Psychologist Services in Miami Beach that offers conversion therapy, has reportedly been cruising for a bruising on Manhunt and Gay Bear Nation under the provocative screen names “hotnhairy” and “hotnhairy72.” Goldwasser was looking for bear-on-bear action, and into hairy guys only, according to his prof iles, which were leaked to hypocrisy warrior Wayne Besen, of Truth Wins Out. Besen, who has made a career of exposing the many Jekyll and Hydes of conversion therapy, contacted Goldwasser and set up a date. Once confronted, Goldwasser begged for mercy and confessed his duplicity. (continued on page 26)

Donna’s Chronicles

By Donna Sachet

Thank you, Palm Springs, for showing us a fabulous time over Pride Weekend! With so many friends down there, it was impossible to see them all, but the weekend was packed with official and unofficial events, pool parties and get-togethers. The entire affair may be quite a bit smaller than we are used to here in San Francisco, but a lovely sense of community permeated everything! Special thanks to our host, Tom Ray, for his boundless generosity and hospitality and to Parade Community Grand Marshals, Tom Oliver & Matthew Stocker, for inviting us as their guests to the VIP Pre-Parade Breakfast.

Calendar a/la Sachet

Back home, it was a tough week learning of the death of our friend and generous philanthropist Walter Leiss. We attended his services at Hills of Eternity Chapel in Colma on Thursday morning in recognition of his leadership in the Jewish community and the LGBT Community. In attendance were Gary Vir- Broadway star Noah Kieserman, Donna Sachet and Olympian Brian Boitano at ginia, Mark Leno, Russell Kassman, Jerome Goldstein & Tom Tay- the Holiday Ice Rink Official Opening at Union Square lor, Jim Gatteau, Al Baum, James Carlson, Supervisor Rafael Mandelman and many of Walter’s extended devoted family. Speakers shared personal remembrances with humor and nostalgia, making it clear that here was a man who lived life fully, shared his success with many, and left his world richer because of his munificence.

Wednesday morning also demanded morning drag as we helped with the official opening of the Safeway Holiday Ice Rink in Union Square presented by Alaska Airlines. Robert Keith emceed the event, joined

by Noah Kieserman from the cast of Broadway Tony Award winning Dear Evan Hansen, Safeway’s Wendy Gutshall, California State Assemblyman David Chiu, Olympic champion skater Brian Boitano, SF Giants mascot Lou Seal, and the SF Ice Dance Company. The rink is open now through January, featuring special nights including Flashback Fridays on the second Friday of each month, Drag Queens on Ice on Thursday, December 6, Silent Skate Party on Thursday, December 13, and Polar Bear Skate on Tuesday, January 1. This year’s Drag Queens on Ice, a truly only-in-San Francisco event, will feature performances

by Dusty Porn, Muthachucka, Kylie Minono, Kylie Pop, BeBe Sweetbriar, Tara Lipsynki, Paju Munro, and Mahlae Balenciaga. Once again, we’ll be the drag queen on the mic, not on the ice! Whether you skate or not, the Holiday Ice Rink in Union Square is a place you must check out during the holidays.

And speaking of “musts” for the holidays, don’t miss The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes at the Victoria Theatre, November 29 through December 23, starring Heklina, Matthew Martin, D’Arcy Drollinger and Holotta Tymes. These talented artists will keep you in stitches re-enacting stories from the hit television series, but with special Gay twists. Get your tickets soon; they are already selling like crazy!

Every Sunday Sunday’s a Drag 10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show The Starlight Room Sir Francis Drake Hotel, $75 inclusive https://bit.ly/2OB4Gur Thursday, November 15 Evening of Hope: Building a Future Within Reach 6–9 pm Gallery 308, Fort Mason Center, $175 https://projectinform.org Friday, November 16 Winter Onesie Party 9 pm–2 am, Lookout, 3600 Market Street $5 suggested https://bit.ly/2PTh4JV Saturday, November 17 50 Years of Fabulous – Marlena’s Reunion 6–9:30 pm 432 Octavia Boulevard, $10–20 https://bit.ly/2z6vpJz Wednesday, November 21 4th Annual Empress’ Bake Sale 6–8 pm, Lookout, Free https://imperialcouncilsf.org

Two holiday trees hold special significance for our community. First, get into the holiday spirit on Monday, November 26, 6 pm, in front of Bank of America, at the lighting of the Castro Holiday Tree, a project of the Castro Merchants. We return as the emcee of the festivities, joined by Santa Claus and some of his lively elves and wonderful holiday music.

Monday–Wednesday, November 26–28 Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season Hosted by Brian Kent 8 pm, Feinstein’s at the Nikko, $60–$100 https://ticketf.ly/2AzAjzG

After 12 years in the Rotunda of City Hall, the World Tree of Hope will sparkle at Grace Cathedral this year. You can be a part of this Rainbow World Fund project by helping to decorate the tree with lights and thousands of paper origami inscribed with personal wishes of hope; come to the cathedral November 24–30 from 9 am–5:30 pm and join a band of volunteers. Then join Heklina, Lesbian/Gay Chorus of SF, Tammy Hall, Linda Mihara, Jeff Cotter, the Deputy Consul General of Japan and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence for the lighting on Monday, December 3, starting at 6:30 pm, emceed by this humble columnist.

Monday, November 26 Castro Holiday Tree Lighting Emceed by Donna Sachet with Santa Claus & elves 6 pm, Bank of America on Castro, Free https://bit.ly/2zMDf Yq

As you may have read in our last column, Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season, which officially ended with its 25th edition last year, returns in a new form Monday–Wednesday, November 26–28, 8 pm, at Feinstein’s at the Nikko Hotel. For all those years, a dedicated team of volunteers, loyal audiences and sponsors, and talented performers put so much into this annual fundraiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund, but the energy of the core group had waned and as the creator, we decided to end it after 25 years, opening the way for others to produce their own holiday shows. But, much like the enthusiastic audiences for Cher’s tours, often announced as final, the public appetite for this established and entertaining annual event did not disappear. Brian Kent, successful producer of so many different parties, approached us about taking over the complex production aspects, respecting the cherished traditions while infusing new energy, performers and entertaining elements; we couldn’t resist the opportunity to collaborate. And so, Songs of the Season evolves this year and we invite you to attend and/or sponsor this heart-warming cabaret show. We’ll be making an appearance, singing some of our favorite holiday songs, but Brian brings a fresh perspective and extensive contacts in the music business to this fundraiser for PRC, now merged with AIDS Emergency Fund and Baker Place. Announced performers include Frenchie Davis, David Hernandez and Effie Passero, all American Idol contestants; and local favorites Leanne Borghesi, Dan O’Leary, Kenny Nelson, Kippy Marks, the Lollipop Guild of the SF Gay Men’s Chorus, and Brian Kent himself! We hope you’ll join us as Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season hosted by Brian Kent ushers in the 2018 holiday season!

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

“The holidays don’t begin until you’ve seen Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season!”

-origin unknown

Friday, November 30 Tenderloin Tessie Christmas Cabaret Spectacular 7 pm First Congregational Church of SF, 1300 Polk Street, $25 https://bit.ly/2Pm8Nil Saturday, December 1 Fauxgirls Final Show!

8 pm, Encore Karaoke Lounge, 1550 California Street, Free https://bit.ly/2DgvFsq Monday, December 3 World Tree of Hope Tree Lighting 6:30–8:30 pm Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street Free https://bit.ly/2PSJHab Monday, December 10 Help is on the Way for the Holidays XVII 7:30 pm Marines’ Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter Street, $60 & up https://bit.ly/2QBocaZ

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

13

Weddings, Occasions & Relationships Authenticity: How to Be Real emotions and true feelings for the same sex.

So, what happens when we are not being authentic to ourselves, potential dates, boyfriends or a partner? What price do we pay? What is the real cost of sustaining a life that is, in fact, built on a lie?

Lonely No More Scott Tsui A gay man named Joe recently told me how his relationship ended. His ex, Pete, caught him telling too many lies. Joe’s lies were so plentiful that he couldn’t distinguish between lies or the truth anymore. Joe asked Pete if he wanted to give it one last try. Pete told him it was over, despite the fact that he was still in love with Joe. The lies cost both Joe and Pete the love of their lives seven years ago, and Joe still regrets not having told the truth.

Many in the gay community have a problem being authentic, in the sense of being real, genuine, true and accurate. Why is it that so many are unable to be truthful?

Gay people experience the “coming out process.” We knew that we were gay before we told others. For me, the revelation came at an early age; for others it could be different. We had to process what was being realized and to figure out how to tell others. We believed or knew that if we revealed our true self, people could react negatively, even with the people closest to us: our parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and perhaps even our siblings and close friends.

We hid from them because we feared repercussions. Our fear began when we realized our true identity and so many of us hid it. We worried about people discovering our secret, believing that we might lose the love and respect of those important to us, or that we could even suffer emotionally and physically.

For these reasons, some of us learned to protect ourselves by lying about our real feelings for other men as being just a passing phase. This is especially true for the older generation.

Many got married and lived a life in which they had to hide their desire to be with another man. Even not everyone in the younger generations is fortunate to have open and supportive parents or guardians, and therefore they may feel the need to hide their

We already know that relationships are sustained by tr ust, whether they are friendships or of a more intimate nature. Had we lied about our age on an online prof ile or even eventually confessed to a boyfriend or partner, what would the impact be?

The initial reaction from a boyfriend or partner would probably be, “What else have you lied to me about?” or, “Are you going to lie to me again?” Trust is easily lost and very hard to win back.

What else do gay men do that indicates that they may not be authentic? They may play games, pretend to be someone they’re not, be deceitful, fail to acknowledge someone whom they know socially by pretending not to recognize them, hide true feelings or opt not to open up to a partner.

A real relationship is about accepting one another for who they truly are, flaws and all. An unwillingness or incapacity to be authentic will eventually take its toll on relationships or friendships. Even under the disguise of someone outwardly being outgoing there could still be a lack of self-confidence.

5 Ways of Being Authentic with Yourself • Accept your true self and treat others with respect.

• Remain consistent to your core values. Match words with your behavior.

• Embrace your true identity: accept who you are and be proud.

Internalized homophobia and saying, “I’m gay,” can be difficult. Acknowledge it, find a way to heal and enable yourself to move forward.

• Because of the stress and internal battles, addictions and compulsiveness may result. Take courage and admit you need help.

• Be honest about your HIV status.

4 Traps of Not Being Authentic with Others 1. Recognize habitual deceit. This includes age, HIV or STD/STI status.

Play on the Bay with DJ Rockaway Honoring the 40th Anniversary of the San Francisco Bay Times Photos by Phyllis Costa

DJ Rockaway, an LGBT community favorite, hosted a discothemed dance cruise in honor of the San Francisco Bay Times 40th Anniversary. Members of our team send a resounding “Thank you!” to her. She will appear as a special guest on Friday, November 16, at Mezzanine’s San Francisco Party ( https://mezzaninesf.com ) Follow DJ Rockaway for news about upcoming events: http://www.djrockaway.com

14

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

2. Recognize story telling. Whether it’s an outright lie or exaggeration, pretending or falsifying creates living a lie and distortion of reality.

3. There may be an incapacity to express inner emotions due to traumatic past experiences.

This could be based around a lack of trust and/or an inability to verbalize true feelings, which can evolve into frustration or retreating within one’s self.

4. Another trap is the inability to build intimacy, such as having fear of being seen as imperfect or getting emotionally hurt.

To get real, abandon all repressive ideas about your sexuality. Focus on the person you desire to be. You may be challenged by self-doubt, shame and perfectionism, and get caught up in societal and family expectations concerning what you are “supposed to be.” It may be hard to connect to your true inner self, but you deserve to feel pride and fulfillment. Not being authentic suppresses and eventually kills true identity and who you really are. There is no option then but to be your true self, in all of your glory and authenticity.

Some people are just thoughtless and lie to get what they want.

Beware of these people; they are clearly not for you. But it’s sad when there are lovely people out there who, through lack of confidence, courage or support, start off by lying, which then becomes their armor to protect themselves and so begins their journey of deceit. Some of the self-deceivers have genuine motives to lie to themselves, to others and to the world. They will eventually be caught in their own web of deceit, frustratingly unable to separate the truth from the lies and the reality from the façade.

Scott Tsui is the Relationship Results Coach, author of “Lonely No More – 8 Steps to Find Your Gay Husband” and the creator of the world’s first online gay relationship training: Gay Men Relationship Blueprint. Tsui works to help gay men find, attract and sustain meaning ful relationships. For more information: http://scotttsui.com/

LGBT Night on Warriors G

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

On Friday evening, November 2, hundreds of Bay Area LGBT com the second consecutive year that the Golden State Warriors, as the addition to our own San Francisco Bay Times contingent comprised of BTQ Center, Google’s Gayglers and more. Among the notables att Oracle’s jumbotron, was loudly cheered by the appreciative crowd

16

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

The San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band performed the Na Prior to the game, LGBT Night attendees had the opportunity to watch the team’s warm-up activities from court-side seating posit The Warriors soundly defeated their opponents, the Minnesota Tim wolves, 116–99. Our own organizing team would like to extend sp thanks to the Warriors staff, Kimberly Veale and Lexxi Price, for invaluable support.

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Ground, 2018

mmunity members, families and allies came together at Oracle Arena for e NBA’s reigning Champions, have hosted an LGBT Night. Attending, in some two hundred members, were groups organized by the Oakland LGtending was 15-time Grammy winner Alicia Keys who, when featured on filling the Arena.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

National Anthem, and CHEER SF performed during the halftime break. o have photos taken with the Warriors’ Championship Trophies and to tions. mberpecial their

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

17

Resilience and the Art of Bouncing Back

Take Me Home with You!

a film star and producer. Steve Jobs lasted only one semester in college before dropping out to backpack, travel and take psychedelics—which later inspired his Apple genius. And Oprah’s first boss told her she was “too emotional” and “not right for television.”

Camilla

“My name is Camilla! I’m 70 pounds but I don’t know it—I want to be your lap dog! ‘Gentle giant’ is how people often describe me. I love everyone I meet, and I enjoy playing with other big, goofy dogs as much as possible. A quieter home and neighborhood would be ideal for me. Come say hello and let’s see if we’re a match!”

Camilla is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Camilla.

To see Camilla and other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat–Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt! For more info, please visit https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions

San Francisco Bay Times wishes you a happy and safe Thanksgiving http://sfbaytimes.com/

The KiAi Way Jamie Leno Zimron How do you deal with setbacks, seeming mistakes or failures that inevitably happen because you’re alive and human? Have you been taught about resilience, or thought of the ability to bounce back as a basic life skill? It really is, and one that you need to get good at since life isn’t really skipping down a yellow brick road, and Oz turns out to be more fantasyland than the real world.

Resilience is a wonderful thing, and has become one of my favorite lifefitness words. Curve balls come at us every day. Stressors press all the time, and things so often don’t go the ways we wanted. It’s easy to get discouraged, lose your mojo and confidence, and even feel like giving up. Maybe your spouse cheated on you, or said s/ he’s done; you got a poor job performance review; a co-worker was promoted while you weren’t; someone let you down; you’re applying for schools or positions but keep getting rejections.

Maybe you lost a deal, or bought stocks that tanked or a car that’s a lemon. You didn’t make the team or land the job you had your sights on; missed a putt or catch or free throw that would have won the game; broke your sobriety with a drink or drug or cigarette; missed a flight, or showed up to the wrong place and missed an important meeting. Maybe your phone was lost or stolen, or your account was hacked. Examples go on and on, and trying times accumulate most every day.

Almost every motivational speaker has their story of bouncing back from hardship, to inspire persistence, vision and resilience. TV networks show the challenges and sacrifices of Olympic athletes so that watching them compete blows us away that much more.

We all lose loved ones, and are touched to tears seeing people grapple with and overcome devastating illnesses, injuries, natural disasters, tragedies.

Then there are the tales that never get old, of celebrities we would never suspect endured major failures on their way to fame and fortune. Elvis was told by his first manager: “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son; go back to drivin’ a truck.” Walt Disney was fired early in his career for “not being funny enough,” and it took him 302 tries to get funding for his Disney World dream. Colonel Sanders was turned down over a thousand times before he found backing for his fried chicken recipe. A casting director once told Oscar-winning black actor Sidney Poitier: “Why don’t you stop wasting people’s time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?” Fred Astaire’s first screen evaluator failed him: “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Balding.

Can dance a little.”

Albert Einstein’s teachers thought he was “slow” because he didn’t speak fluently until age 9, and he was expelled from school and didn’t get accepted to technical college because he was too rebellious. Elton John nearly died of an overdose in 1975, and Drew Barrymore was in and out of rehab as a child/young actress before becoming

18

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

Resilience stories are always so amazing, and I never tire of hearing them.

Take time right now to reflect on or write about your own personal experiences. What difficulty or setback occurred? How did you feel? What helped you to bounce back? Where did you go from there? Was there a gift in what happened? What did you learn, and how did your life evolve as a result?

So many stories start flooding my mind, from big crises to small troubles.

Like stumbling over a hurdle to lose a 6th grade track race; dumping salt instead of sugar into a giant yoghurt&-fruit salad I was helping make, which ruined dessert for over a hundred people; sitting on the sidelines for months from sports injuries; years of asthma attacks and migraines; to so many impossible moments caring for our beloved mother through the terrible twists and turns of Alzheimer’s disease.

I look and see my tendency to sink into doom and gloominess. There are so many ways to go down—in fear, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, pessimism, judgment, stress. Freeze, fight and flight reactions. I can feel negativity set in, and crippling energies wanting to overtake me. Then, surprisingly, somehow amidst all of that, I can sense something inside that manages to bubble up, an inner spirit that always seems to appear to help me help myself through. The miraculous power of resilience won’t let me stay down, and rises within to help me rise back up and move onwards.

Bouncing back is really a trip, and so essential and empowering! Knowing the ins and outs is so important, so here’s a roadmap: 12 Steps to Walking ‘The Resilience Road’ 1. Rest. Take a time out.

Setbacks hurt and usually are draining, so start by taking time to retreat and rest. It’s okay to sleep, lick your wounds and give yourself some downtime.

2. Recover. Realize you’re in a recovery process, from some level of trauma. There are feelings that need to be felt, thoughts and beliefs that need to be explored and expressed, and wounding that needs healing.

3. Remember, “This too shall pass.” Your body, mind and spirit like to feel good, and resilience is built in you. Bouncing back is part of the DNA of your cells and systems.

4. Release. Discover how to let things go, and you’ll feel better quickly and be able to move on. The past really is over, but negative memories and pain linger and ruin the present if you hold on instead of letting go.

5. Review & take responsibility. Look for lessons learned, strength gained, and silver linings for the future.

Take responsibility for your part in things then, and your thoughts, actions and resiliency now.

6. Re-set. Everyone has personal patterns that get triggered by

difficulty and defeat. Recognize and reset yours!

7. Restore. Trust. Harmony.

Self-esteem. Respect. Confidence. Optimism. Hope.

8. Refresh. Give yourself energy boosts by eating and sleeping well. Have fun, and do little or bigger things daily that allow you to feel positive, accomplished and upbeat.

9. Revive & renew. As you refresh your energy, renew your passion for having what you want!

10. Re-focus. Choose and refocus on your next moves, with excitement and commitment, so that you can get up and go in new and renewed ways.

11. Revivify! Feel your life-force strong and revived, revitalizing all that you think, feel, say and do.

12. Rejoice! You’ve survived and are on your way to thriving, probably stronger and better than before, or quite possibly ever.

Resilience doesn’t require going through every step, unless you feel the need or want to, but keep to the general order. In case you’re not sure if you need to take bounce-back action, pay attention to your mood and mindset: feelings of apathy, anxiety, depression, shame and blame, intense sadness or anger, ongoing worry, dread or despair. Are you defensive or down on yourself ? Short with others? Having trouble sleeping? Eating poorly, or self-medicating?

Prolonged negativity can be dangerous to yourself and to others.

Resilience is positive energy and attitudes, coming from your core and leading you outwards into constructive action. It is an innate healing resource right inside your body, heart and mind.

Turn to it and turn on its power!

Thomas Edison was told by his teachers as a young boy that he was “too stupid to learn anything.” It was by mastering resilience and the art of bouncing back that he grew up to become a legendary and prolific inventor.

As he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.”

It took Edison a thousand tries to get the electric light bulb to work, and he’s the person who also famously said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

It’s worth wondering if you might be one of those people—and being sure you’re not! If you’re struggling or discouraged right now, or the next time you are, remember to climb up somewhere onto The Resilience Road.

And remind yourself what Yogi Berra so rightly said: “It’s never over ‘til it’s over!”

Jamie Leno Zimron is a 6th Degree Aikido Black Belt, LPGA Golf Pro, Somatic Psychologist, Corporate Speaker and Holistic Peak Performance Trainer. Contact her for private Counseling & Resilience Coaching, golf lessons, or to speak at your conference/work with your company: jamiesensei@thekiaiway.com 760-492-GOLF(4653).

This Month at the Castro Farmers’ Market Asian Produce

W hen prepar ing for your Thanksgiving feast, remember to purchase your fresh fruits and vegetables, breads, honey and fruit at your local Castro Farmers’ Market.

The market will have everything you need to impress family and friends at the dining table.

There’s everything from local honey from Pirate Creek Bees out of Sunol, fresh baked artisan breads and desserts from Feel Good Bakery in Alameda, winter squash and other tasty vegetables at Happy Boy Farms out of Watsonville, potatoes and onions at Jacob’s Farm from Los Banos, crisp apples and apple cider at Rainbow Orchards, and, of course, fresh cage-free, pastured eggs from Shelly’s Farm out of Brentwood.

There is fresh seafood from From Sea to You in Santa Cruz and grass-fed beef from Prather Ranch in Fairfield.

A visit to the Castro Farmers’ Market will have you ready for friends and relatives, parties and gatherings this season. It will remain open for the season until November 21, giving you a chance to pick up last-minute items and enjoy the camaraderie of the season. Please note that the market will be closing at 7:30 pm from November 7 to the seasonal closing on the 21st, due to darkness falling earlier.

PHOTO BY RINK

Leaves are turning bright colors.

Bronze and gold chrysanthemums a re l i n i ng front porches. A nd T ha n k sg iv ing t ables w i l l soon groan with turkey, fresh fruits and vegetables, and pumpkin pie.

D YOUNG SMOKED PORK AN ASIAN PUMPKIN

time 20–25 minutes time 30 minutes, cook Makes 4 Ser vings, prep chopped ½ bunch pumpkin vine, d out and cubed into pumpkin, halved , scoope 1 medium sized Asian bite sized pieces k, cut into bite sized pork, bacon or ham hoc 1-pound Asian smoked pieces 5 cups water 1 tsp salt ch pieces pounded and cut into 3-in 1 stalk lemongrass heart, the thickest veins ove rem k, thic If the vine is thin stems , skip Wash the pumpkin vine. and es vine is primarily leav l the pumpkin Pee from the interior. If the e. sized pieces and set asid ces and set aside. this step. Chop into bite pie d size bite into it Then cut and remove its innards.

Put the water, salt , has bones, reserve them. it if and k, por Cube the p pot and bring to sou a into m) you have the il almost cooked , lemongrass and bones (if unt s, ute simmer 10–15 min es and cook until a boil. Add the pork and vin dle. Add the pumpkin and but still pink in the mid . shy not mu the pumpkin is tender but s, PCFMA .

Recipe: Chef Marisa Ade ecipes ps://ww w.pcfma.org/eat/r For more recipes visit htt

And please, let’s not forget those who are less fortunate. Not everyone can sit down to a table laden with all the Thanksgiving f ixings. Hunger is prevalent in every community in the nation and at all seasons of the year.

Please donate generously to your lo-

cal food bank and give those in need a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Don’t forget to give thanks to the hardworking farmers and producers who bring you this amazing Autumn harvest. Have a happy and bountiful Thanksgiving!

Necessity Is the Mother of Adaptation

Easy Fitness Cinder Ernst I discovered a useful and appropriate workout video a few weeks ago that I really love. It’s called “Intu Flow” by Scott Sonner. You can find the program free on YouTube. Start with the beginner series. Considering that I’m headed for a hip replacement in a few weeks and can barely walk, I’m thrilled to find a new workout and one that feels this good on my body.

I have been challenged with hip arthritis for more than 20 years. I have always looked for and found ways to mitigate the discomfort and keep my mobility. I am continually following the trail of what’s working, what feels better and/or what can I do next. I am going to present some adaptations I’ve found and implemented along the way. Maybe you will find something useful for yourself.

In 1992 I tore my knee up skiing and had my ACL replaced. During recovery from that surgery, I experienced my first bout of hip dysfunction. My

knee did great but my hip was killing me; so, my surgeon sent me to a physical therapist who was known as the “hip person.” My hip was stuck out of position. The PT helped to correct the stuckness, gave me a brace and selfcorrecting exercises to do. I love the idea of self-correcting exercises and I love doing them, knowing I am helping myself. I still to this day use those exercises. Your first take away—find a good PT and follow through. Eventually the corrective exercises become preventive exercises.

Some years later, walking on pavement became painful so I tried a shoe called Z-Coil. They were crazy-looking shoes but I experienced so much relief that I lived in them. I had athletic shoes, hiking boots, dress boots and sandals all by Z-Coil. The shoes became hard to come by so I weaned myself off them. Recently I have been wearing shoes called Gravity Defyers and they have helped me to be more comfortable walking with severe hip arthritis.

Gravity Defyers can help with foot, knee, back and hip pain. Second take away—find the right shoe and wear it.

Through the years, driving has been mighty uncomfortable on my hips.

I’ve been using the “AppleRound Air Stability Wobble Cushion” for about 10 years. You can use this on any chair or in your car. The wobble cushion helps to relieve the stiffness from prolonged sitting by encouraging small movements. I also use cruise control whenever possible to avoid stress on my right knee and to have more freedom to fidget. I produced a cassette tape called “Commuter Aerobics” years ago. If you’d really like to fidget in the car, email me and I’ll send you

an MP3. Third take away—sitting is hard on your body; find ways to move.

Your last take away is to adapt your workouts with as little kicking and screaming as possible. I love to box, but a few years ago my knee (that same knee I told you about at the beginning) became a problem. I kept boxing. I could not let go. Next my left hip (the one getting replaced next month) started to go out every time I threw a hook.

I so did not want to stop boxing, but I had to. I moped around for a while and then I discovered Bikram yoga.

I’ve never liked yoga, but I was so happy to sweat. I learned to appreciate the practice and got a lot of benefit. Last summer my hip started to feel worse when I did the yoga so I stopped going to the studio and did what I could at home. Then about 6 weeks ago, my hip would no longer bear my weight so I was doing stationary bike and going out for crutching walks while I waited to get my surgery date. Then I found the Scott Sonner program (see the first paragraph) and I love doing it. Your last take away—keep looking for an adaptation; your body wants to move no matter what.

Cinder Ernst, Medical Exercise Specialist and Life Coach Extraordinaire, helps reluctant exercisers get moving with safe, effective and fun programs. Her book, “Easy Fitness for the Reluctant Exerciser” ( http:// cinderernst.com/easy-fitness-book/ ), is available in paperback and E-book.

She specializes in fitness and rehab for plus-size clients, but her stressfree approach is suitable for all. Find out more at http://cinderernst.com

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

19

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

Jake Heggie of SF Opera’s It’s a Wonderful Life Talks About Music, His Influences and What It’s Like to Be Married to Beach Blanket Babylon’s ‘King Louie’

Throughout his life, Heggie overcame numerous challenges, from the suicide death of his father to a neurological condition that cut short his high-f lying career as a pianist. The openly gay musician refused to give up, and instead put his energies into composing, with notable compositions including Dead Man Walking and Moby-Dick. Heggie is now one of the world’s preeminent contemporary opera composers, with both musicians and audiences appreciating his ability to explore character and drama through the various facets of his art.

His work takes him around the globe, but his base is here in San Francisco, where he shares a home with husband Curt Branom—a talented singer and actor. We are grateful that Heggie recently took time out of his busy schedule for an interview.

San Francisco Bay Times: How did you get the idea to create this work and to turn the holiday movie into an opera?

Jake Heggie: I was fortunate to work with my closest collaborators, starting with librettist Gene Scheer. By now we’ve created five operas and more than 50 art songs together. We also worked with the fabulous Moby-Dick dream team: director Leonard Foglia, designer Robert Brill, projection designer Elaine McCarthy, lighting designer Brian Nason and choreographer Keturah Stickann. They created incredible magic with that production, and we knew that’s what it would take to transfer It’s a Wonderful Life to the stage San Francisco Bay Times: The mov ie has a rat her dark side, since the character of George Bailey is contemplating suicide on Christmas Eve. Is your operatic take on the stor y more uplifting and hopeful?

accessible but full of surprises, as well as some big melodies. There are beautiful soaring arias, ensembles and even dance numbers in this opera! The toughest part in creating the opera was figuring out how to tell the story for the opera stage, because you can’t put a movie on the stage. You have to reinvent and hope the audience will go with you. We started this in 2012 and opened in Houston in December 2016. We have worked hard on the opera since, including a production last year at Indiana University. So, the opera is arriving fully formed in San Francisco. I’m thrilled with it and can’t wait to share it!

Jake Heggie

Jake Heggie: Our goal was to show the joy, beauty, romance and possibility that surrounds George throughout his life, so that this one dark moment has particular resonance.

I think many people can identify with George—someone who feels he has given and given, but can’t see or really appreciate the good things that have happened because of him. It’s a universal message that crosses all borders: every life matters, and the ripple effect of your good deeds is immeasurable.

San Francisco Bay Times: What was the difficult part of composing an opera based on such a famous film and story? How long did it take you to compose the work? Would you characterize your operatic work as melodious and accessible to the audience?

Jake Heggie: I love big arching lyricism that allows us into the hearts of the characters, where music really takes flight. My writing is tonal and

San Francisco Bay Times: Your first opera was Dead Man Walking, which was commissioned by San Francisco Opera and premiered right here.

What was that like, composing for the big theater? What is your process in composing? Do you first create a piano vocal score followed by composing all of the vocal parts and finally the orchestration?

Jake Heggie: It is thrilling to write for a big theater!

I love a challenge and I love opera—what it can do for a large community. There is something magical about being part of a large audience and experiencing an opera together. We set our differences aside and experience a big human drama together—laugh together, cry together—and that can open up dialogues and perspectives that weren’t there before.

PHOTO BY KAREN ALMOND-HOUSTON GRAND OPERA

Jake Heggie: Just after the premiere of Moby-Dick in 2010, my good friend and close collaborator, the conductor Patrick Summers, invited me to write a holiday opera for the Houston Grand Opera. We considered many stories, but I was particularly interested in finding an iconic American Christmas story that people return to year after year. I’m not sure when It’s a Wonderful Life actually popped into my head, but I knew immediately it was the right one. At its core, it’s an operatic story with high stakes; iconic, beloved characters; holiday spirit and joy; as well as a great sense of redemption. It holds a universal message that is always needed and welcome: the unknowable ripple effect of good deeds in the community—and that there are always angels among us.

San Francisco Bay Times: With whom did you collaborate to make this new work?

PHOTO BY KAREN ALMOND-HOUSTON GRAND OPERA

With a run beginning on Saturday, November 17, San Francisco Opera at the War Memorial Opera House will present composer Jake Heggie’s It’s a Wonderful Life, adapted from the 1946 film classic that starred Jimmy Stewart and Donna Read, and from Philip Van Doren Stern’s story The Greatest Gift. We cannot wait to see this opera on the holiday season favorite, especially given Heggie’s involvement.

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ 20

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

In terms of process, before the words or the music is the story.

That is primary. Everything has to be in service of the story and how we decide to tell

our version. So, there is much back and forth between me and the librettist. Then he starts writing and sends me material. Lots of back and forth. Then I start writing. Lots more back and forth. I write everything by hand and craft the piano/vocal score first. We’ll do at least one workshop—maybe more—to hear the piece come off the page. Once we feel it’s in good shape, then I orchestrate.

San Francisco Bay Times: Which composers have inf luenced your style of composition? Have you felt inspired by musical theater composers as well as classical music composers? What about pop singers and artists? Have they inf luenced your style?

Jake Heggie: I think I’ve been influenced in one way or another by everything I’ve ever heard! That definitely started when I was growing up with movies, musicals, jazz, pop and rock. My dad was a fan of classic big band music and singers like Frank Sinatra, Jo Stafford, Peggy Lee and Ella Fitzgerald. Specific composers who’ve influenced me include Sondheim, Bernstein, Gershwin, Rodgers, Britten, Poulenc, Debussy, Ravel, Mozart, Chopin, Puccini, Verdi, Janacek, Tchaikovsky, etc. It’s a long list! Certainly, I’ve been very influenced by great pop singers like Barbra Streisand, k.d. lang, Carly Simon, Joni Mitchell, and yes, even Lady Gaga. But also great opera stars throughout history. I didn’t find opera until I was in my late 20s, but once bitten I was forever hooked.

San Francisco Bay Times: Next summer, San Francisco Opera’s affiliate artist training program, the Merola Opera Program, has commissioned you for a new work entitled If I Were You. Can you tell us about this, explaining the story?

Jake Heggie: I’m very excited about this project because I’ve been thinking about it for almost 15 years, and I absolutely love the Merola Opera Program. It’s a perfect fit. The story is a modern take on the Faust legend, based on a French novel by Julien Green. A young man wishes he could be anyone else, so he makes a deal with the devil and by singing an ancient phrase, he can transfer his soul and essence into another person. He moves from person to person to person, a lost soul in search of a place where he feels loved, successful and powerful. But the grass isn’t always greener, so it’s a fraught journey. It is a big, rich landscape for an opera with meaty roles for

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS Transwoman Fallon Fox made a name for herself in this Mixed Martial Arts weight class: A) Flyweight

B) Bantamweight

ANSWER ON PAGE 26

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

C) Featherweight

D) Welterweight

(continued on page 26)

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since.

Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

HOLIDAY

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

arts preview Beach Blanket Babylon

NOVEMBER Beach Blanket Babylon Holiday Extravaganza Now through December 31 Club Fugazi 678 Beach Blanket Babylon Boulevard (Green Street) San Francisco

Taylor Mac’s Holiday Sauce November 21 through December 1 Curran 445 Geary Street San Francisco

Ring in the holiday season with Steve Silver’s Beach Blanket Babylon Holiday Extravaganza! Featuring iconic holiday characters—including Christmas King Louis, Mr. Peanut Santa and a chorus line of tap-dancing Christmas trees—Beach Blanket Babylon’s Holiday Extravaganza includes parodies of traditional Christmas carols, spoofs of pop culture and political characters, and the legendary gigantic Yuletide Hat. https://bit.ly/2Dl615y

Christmas as Calamity is the theme as Macarthur Fellow Taylor Mac takes on the holidays in the latest installment of his 24-decade history of popular music project. Celebrating the holiday season in all of its dysfunction, Taylor Mac is joined by longtime collaborators designer Machine Dazzle, music director Matt Ray, a spectacular band and surprise special guests to reframe the songs you love and the holidays you hate. Holiday Sauce is the artist’s first San Francisco appearance since his now legendary 24-hour performance at the Curran last fall. http://www.sfcurran.com

Requiem for Ghost Ship - Oakland Symphony November 16 Paramount Theatre 2026 Broadway Oakland December 2016 shook us all. This evening will be dedicated to the artists and dreamers lost in the tragic Ghost Ship fire and will present the world premiere of Richard Marriott’s moving cello concerto commissioned in their memory. Brahms’ Requiem, featuring the Oakland Symphony Chorus, will contemplate death as a part of life, embracing both its beauty and sorrow.

The evening will also feature Leonard Bernstein’s “Take Care of This Home” from the musical 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. http://www.oaklandsymphony.org Pixel - Compagnie Käfig November 16 & 17 Zellerbach Hall UC Berkeley Campus Berkeley Compagnie Käfig merges elements of Brazilian urban dance and capoeira with hip-hop, modern dance and circus arts in its breakneck productions. Pixel was created by founder Mourad Merzouki in collaboration with the French digital production studio Adrien M & Claire B and features the company’s 11 outstanding dancers navigating a sophisticated interactive environment of light and lasers that confounds our perceptions of what is virtual and what is real. https://bit.ly/2TbI6v6 22

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

A Magical Cirque Christmas November 23 Luther Burbank Center for the Arts 50 Mark West Springs Road Santa Rosa A Magical Cirque Christmas is a holiday entertainment blockbuster set to dazzle audiences of all ages. Featuring the best talent from around the globe, this show includes jaw-dropping magic, breathtaking circus acts and angelic voices singing Christmas carols and accompanied by musicians on stage. http://www.lutherburbankcenter.org ODC/Dance - The Velveteen Rabbit November 24, December 1, 2 & 8 Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Theater 700 Howard Street (at 3rd Street) San Francisco The Velveteen Rabbit returns to Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, enlivening Margery Williams’ classic tale of a little boy, his stuffed rabbit and the enduring power of love. With witty storytelling, charming music by Benjamin Britten, festive costumes and madcap characters, this annual Bay Area tradition has been delighting children for an incredi(continued on page 23)

Taylor Mac

ODC Dance

A Magical Cirque Christmas John Waters

ble 32 years running. With production by the acclaimed local dance company ODC, The Velveteen Rabbit’s unique fusion of modern dance and compelling narration makes it a family event that older audience members will enjoy as well. http://www.odc.dance/velveteenrabbit Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season November 26–28 Feinstein’s at the Nikko 222 Mason Street San Francisco Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season, benefiting PRC and held at elegant Feinstein’s at the Nikko, returns with a new lineup of talent curated and hosted by Billboard Recording Artist Brian Kent. This year’s show will feature performances by Kent and Sachet; American Idol stars Franchie Davis, David Hernandez and Effie Passero; NY/SF cabaret artist Leanne Borghesi; singer/songwriter Kenny Nelson; electric violinist Kippy Marks; SF vocalist and actor Dan O’Leary; the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus’ The Lollipop Guild and much more!

Thanks to all for helping to keep this beloved San Francisco holiday fundraiser going. http://www.feinsteinsatthenikko.com Mortified Live: Bar Mitzvah Show November 29 Jewish Community Center of San Francisco 3200 California Street San Francisco Celebrate 13 years of Mortified Live, one of the most outlandish storytelling experiences in the Bay Area.

As featured on Netflix’s new hit series The Mortified Guide, and heard on the Mortified podcast, Mortified

is a cultural phenomenon in which adults relive their awkward adolescence by reading their embarrassing and hilarious teen diaries, poems, letters and more in front of total strangers.

Part comedy, part theater, part therapy, participants range from professional performers (comics, celebrities, singers) to amateurs (architects, ad execs, salesmen) all in the noble pursuit of self-degradation. For adults 21+. https://www.jccsf.org/arts-ideas/mortified-live/ A John Waters Christmas at Great American Music Hall November 29 Great American Music Hall 859 O’Farrell Street San Francisco Like a damaged St. Nick for the Christmas corrupted, legendary filmmaker John Waters will hitchhike into town again with a bag full of sticks and stones for the devoted, spreading Yuletide profanity and perverted piety with his critically acclaimed one-man show. The Pope of Trash will give you a Cool Yule like no other. http://www.slimspresents.com The Nightmare Before Christmas November 30, December 1 & 6 San Francisco Symphony Louise M. Davies Symphony Hall 201 Van Ness Avenue San Francisco Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas is a 1993 stopmotion animated film directed by Henry Selick. It is a musical dark fantasy, with songs and score composed by Danny Elfman. The Nightmare Before Christmas tells the story of Jack Skellington, the King of “Halloween Town,” who stumbles through a portal to “Christmas Town” and decides to celebrate the holiday, with some dastardly and comical circumstances. Ted Sperling leads the San Francisco Symphony in three performances. http://www.sfsymphony.org

Look for Part II of our Holiday Arts Preview in our next issue.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

23

Actor Chino Darín Discusses His Queer Atmospheric Crime Film El Angel change. That backdrop, along with the period music, costumes and cars, informs the atmospheric film.

Film Gary M. Kramer The stylish Argentine crime drama El Angel, opening November 16 in the Bay Area, recounts the robbery and murder spree of baby-faced Carlos (Lorenzo Ferro), a teenager in 1971 Buenos Aires who became the longest serving criminal in the country’s history.

The film, co-written and directed by Luis Ortega, recounts several of Carlos’ crimes, many of which he committed with a classmate he was attracted to, Ramón (Chino Darín).

On the phone from Buenos Aires, Darín explained the teens’ intense friendship: “I think Ramón is magnetized by Carlos because Carlos is younger and weaker than he is—but seeing Carlos, everything Ramón believes being a man in the 1970s is, is changed. He can’t understand that Carlos has this freedom to live in the moment. When he sees Carlos, Ramón knows Carlos is someone.”

The actors studied and emulated American buddy movies from the 1970s to get a sense of how their characters moved, and even smoked. They used their bodies to capture the feeling of the era. Argentina, at that time, was on the brink of dictatorship, and the country’s social and political environment was undergoing tremendous

El Angel depicts the teen’s success robbing a gun shop, which leads them to burgle a jewelry store.

There is a palpable homoerotic tension between the two youths, most notably in a scene that has Carlos covering a naked and sleeping Ramón’s genitals with the jewels they just stole. Ramón also allows Federica (William Prociuk), a gay art dealer, to orally service him with the expectation that he will fence the boys’ loot. Ramón also hopes Federica will help him to fulfill his dreams of becoming an actor.

Darín believes that Ramón uses his looks and sexuality to get what he wants from others, but the attractive actor is not so quick to identify either teen in El Angel as gay. He observed, “People are trying to label Ramon and Carlos’ sexuality. And one of the nice things about this story is that they are two guys who have their own kind of sexuality. I wouldn’t define them as homosexual, bisexual or with any labels. Fluid would be the most accurate term. Ramón, particularly, is a sexual mercenary. I like to see him like that.

He uses his sexuality as a resource.”

Ramón does get quite violent in a bar when someone calls him “a fag.”

The character’s undefined sexuality may be part of his larger identity crisis. (Sexual deviance is cited as a reason for Carlos’ sociopathy.) However, Ramón does not have much ambition, which may be why he hooks up with Carlos—for a sense of adventure.

The actor acknowledged, “Ramon feels his parents are disappointed with him, and that he’s not fully realized in his life. He’s searching for his path and doesn’t have a clue about what

he should do in life. Ramón wants to be famous. He uses the robberies to be recognized by his father, but when Carlos enters the scene, he’s a natural born thief, and Ramon can’t compete with that.”

Darín is very aware of parental expectations. His father, Ricardo Darín, is a superstar in Argentine cinema.

The young actor explained that he originally never intended to go into the family business. “I grew up with lots of freedom—freedom of thought and physical freedom. I was going to study engineering after I finished high school. I liked physics and chemistry. I didn’t know what to be and I thought engineering was a good thing to study.

When I announced this to my father, he gave me an exercise: think of my future doing whatever engineers do for firms, or quality testing, and if I saw myself happy in that, to go on. So, I moved to acting.”

Films have been a good choice for the actor who has developed quite a following in Argentina. Hopefully, El Angel will get Darín wider exposure in the States. He also appears in Death in Buenos Aires, a gay-tinged detective thriller that has recently been released on home video in the U.S. When asked about his career and the films he makes, which include (continued on page 26)

A Lesbian Leather Daddy Love Story based on ownership, upholding patriarchal themes about strength and frailty, purity and goodness. Daddy is a hack. And it’s totally hot, nonetheless.”

Words Michele Karlsberg Michele K arlsberg: K imberly Dark, author of The Daddies, is featured in this issue of the San Francisco Bay Times. I asked Dark to discuss the phrase, “Who’s your Daddy?” which started showing up in mainstream cultural references during the 1990s.

Those words can be spoken as a question, a challenge, a f lirtation, a joke or even a threat. It’s all about inflection, intention and who is asking. Apparently, we have so much shared cultural meaning about “Daddy” that the speakers and listeners can simply intuit meaning and proceed to laugh at the joke, or experience the shame, as appropriate. But who is Daddy in American culture? Here, Dark explains what inspired her to write The Daddies.

Kimberly Dark: The first time I found myself smitten with a Daddy was back in the 90s. I spoke with my friend, a significant mentor, and not just another sociologist. “Why is this Daddy-thing hot? I mean, it’s fascinating and I’m in it to figure it out, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t totally hot.”

“It doesn’t make sense, though.” I continued musing. “The stuff we play out is not even fresh. The scripts are recycled: highly gendered power games 24

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

She listened, but I could tell that she didn’t know what to do with this. We were both dykes, for one thing. (Sometimes I forget that’s salient, because it both is and it isn’t.) She was normally interested in my social curiosities, but what could she do with this?

“Well, you can’t be a sociologist all the time,” she said.

Whether or not we can unsee the ways in which power relat ionships and patterned interactions scaffold the social world, there are definitely themes that are unwelcome for discussion in academic, and other polite, company.

Intellectual and creative freedom being higher on my list of life goals than employment and acceptability, I started inquiring and cataloging. “Who’s your Daddy?” Who’s my Daddy and what do we all mean when we utter that phrase that had gained cultural cache in the 90s, though it’s been around a long time? (Spoiler: we mean a whole lot of things, depending on who’s talking and who’s listening.)

The thing is, I had met Daddy before—I just didn’t remember at first.

I’d been taught, like everyone in my culture, to salivate on cue, to recoil on cue, to vote on cue, to love on cue.

And socially, we’ve made a pact to ignore our Pavlovian responses to patriarchy. Feminism taught us we should only have negative responses to patriarchy when the truth is, we have a

range of responses embedded in our desires and behaviors.

Some of those responses are ecstatic and operate like need or hunger, even when consciously, we want to dismantle systems that harm us all; turn our children into soldiers for causes that are destroying the planet; and render the wisdom of our bodies mute—or at least indecipherable.

In order to dismantle patriarchy, and still nurture the vital human force of masculinity, we have to understand our draw and repulsion to Daddy— the nurturer, the dominator, the destroyer, the lover. I study all aspects, and that involves gender, sexuality, how power exists and is recreated in intimate interactions and then patterned back out into social structures.

That includes Daddy.

The Daddies is a lesbian leather daddy love story. It’s also an indictment of patriarchy, a call to self-love and cultural transformation.

When we have greater understanding, we have greater choices.

Kimberly Dark is a writer, professor and raconteur, working to reveal the hidden architecture of everyday life one clever essay, poem and story at a time. She is the author of “Love and Errors,” a poetry book. More information can be found on http://www.kimberlydark.com Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBTQI community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates thirty years of successful book campaigns.

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

Sister Dana sez, “Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Or as I prefer to call it: ‘ThanksGaying,’ because I Thank God I’m Gay: TGIG!” On the eve of Halloween, October 30, SPARK ARTS held a special event, TEN CRAZY QUEENS, in honor of these men in the 90s that started doing group drag to attend the Muscle System Ball (aka MUSCLE SISTERS BALL which some of us lovingly called «The Muscle Sissies Ball»). It was a significant event in that it was to raise money every Halloween for HIV services and organizations. It was THE gym at the time. The owners had the idea of a drag event ball charging for attendance—and you were required to drag up. Two decades later, on the night before Halloween, we got to relive the dream as several original crazy queens gave us the history in talks, Q&As and fabulous art displayed

by Alan C. Beckstead (also known as Mitzi). One of my faves is of “Nicole 1995” at the Eagle bar with two leathermen. Beckstead was also giving away mugs he created with some of the crazy queens depicted. Of course, I chose “Nicole.” I spoke with Nicole who reminded me of the year they found bargain bin bridal dresses designed by fashionista Jessica McClintock. Inexpensive but impressive! Some of their original gowns were also on display. https://www.alanbeckstead.com/ Sister Dana sez, “This edition is all about art. All these art receptions represent artwork available for viewing all month long.

You are encouraged to go to these venues and enjoy them for yourselves!”

November 1 was the monthly, every-first-Thursday CASTRO ART WALK, a self-guided tour of Castro venues displaying art all month long, but featuring the artists in person on the 1st. Fourteen venues participated this month. I was especially impressed at Art Attack SF with Serge Gay Jr. and #30 “Safe Space” acrylic on canvas depicting a gay bar with people safely expressing themselves in drag, leather, furries, lesbian triad and other expressions. Also, a fave of mine is Tracy Piper and her bold, bright colors with several pieces including #27 “The Boys in the Band” acrylic of two men lovingly hugging; and #32 “No #1” with a person wearing a shirt with “NO” as if to say, “Don’t try to label me or give me a gender.” By the way, I am thrilled to announce Tracy told me she is now an official resident artist of Art Attack. Do check out her magnificent work! www.artattacksf.com

That same night, I attended an art reception at CITY ART SF Cooperative Art Gallery down the street at 828 Valencia. There were so many artists in attendance, but one stood out for me: the three whimsically painted life-size mannequins of Angelo Di Pietrantonio. One of them had a lobster for a spine! www.cityartgallery.org It was a busy night for art, as I next went to STRUT gallery in the Castro (470 Castro and 18th) to view the art of Jaime Cortez with his excellent exhibition entitled HORNED UP NOW. “Never in the history of humanity have so many people taken and shared photos with so many,” said Cortez. One theme I noticed was the lack of faces for any of the men portrayed—giving a feeling of anonymity. Also, the colors are pastel and not bold. I especially enjoy “This Is Not Who I Am; This Is What I Want,” a colored stencil on paper with a man’s body tattooed with various Christian symbols. Another piece was entitled “VBL, BTM, LAT, 4, HWT, MASC, POP” of a man taking a selfie, but the flash blocks out his face. The title refers to personal ad acronyms. https://www.strutsf.org/ ART SAVES LIVES presented an ART RECEPTION on November 7 at Harvey Milk Photo Center, 50 Scott Street. This is an ongoing 18-person group show of mixed media, photos, paintings, assemblage, sculpture, pottery, and more entitled FALL CONTEMPORARY ART. The curators are Thomasina DeMaio (of “Art Saves Lives”) and HMPC Director Dave Christensen. The exhibiting artists I most admire are Michael Lownie, Carl Linkhart, Alan Beckstead and J.B. Higgins. Part of the show is a work in progress honoring seniors in photos and paintings—portraiture done in Eureka Rec Center and at Harvey Milk Photo Center. Entertainment was by Irene McCalphin, Dottie Lux and SuSu with her belly dancers. This continuing display closes on December 8. https://bit.ly/2FoSQmW Sister Dana sez, “ Trans Lifeline, an organization that runs a crisis hotline for transgender people and staffed by trans-

gender people, said that calls to their suicide hotline have quadrupled since Trump started trying to legally erase transgender identity. This is frightening!”

Reminder: TDoR SF, 2018 TRANS DAY OF REMEMBRANCE is Tuesday, November 20. See details at http://www.tdorsf.org/ The MUELLER FIRING RAPID RESPONSE rally (#protectmueller) assembled hundreds of peaceful protesters at Civic Center on November 8 in immediate reaction to Trump firing his Attorney General Jeff Sessions and replacing him with pro-Trump, anti-Mueller acting A.G. Matt Whitaker who will immediately take over supervising special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation from Rod Rosenstein, the embattled deputy attorney general. Similar rallies were held that day across the nation. The slogan in SF was: “THE RED LINE HAS BEEN CROSSED!” regarding a rapid response action to hold Trump accountable for seriously jeopardizing the Trump-Russia investigation. People carried placards stating: “No one is above the law,” “Stop the slo-mo Saturday Night Massacre!”

“This nightmare must end: Trump/ Pence must go!” And a protester in a Trump mask held a sign stating, “Impeach, Indict, Imprison!”

Senator Scott Wiener gave a statement regarding the Thousand Oaks Massacre, calling it “a horrific tragedy” and “yet another reminder that we have too many guns in our society whose only purpose is to kill as many people as possible as quickly as possible.” He added, “We must take firm action to reduce the number of killing machines in our country.”

I went to CODE & CANVAS open studios to check out the B&W photos of J.B. Higgins, including his classic photo of the late Cockette Divine; the famous SF late identical twin sisters, Vivian & Marian Brown (who never appeared anywhere without matching identical outfits); and an altar to Marilyn Monroe. View his and other artists’ amazing works at 151 Potrero Avenue. www.codeandcanvas.org Next, I got the pleasure of seeing Jerry Frost and his ongoing exhibition at Artitud at 1121 Howard Street. His earlier oils and putty knife techniques of abstract colors and lines are displayed as well as his fascination with water and water lilies. But I really enjoy his newest evolution into whimsical figures and stories—many with hidden or overt gay themes such as “Over the Rainbow.” There are walls and walls of Frost’s figurative, narrative, surrealism, social consciousness and playfulness to enjoy all November. www.jerryfrost.com

BACK TO THE PICTURE hosted a glorious DIA DE LOS MUERTOS art reception on November 2, officially the “Day of the Dead,” in their frame shop at 934 Valencia Street. They exhibited traditional Mexican Day of The Dead themed art by dozens of artists, along with Mexican treats, food, wine, and more. A favorite Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana, right) with performers Dee Spencer artist of mine is Cynthia La and Jason Brock at the PRC Might Real Gala on October 12 at the Rosa with her very clever Four Seasons Hotel

Sister Dana sez, “Don’t be a turkey and miss out on these lovely pre-Thanksgiving events!”

On November 20, 6–9 pm at the Tenderloin Museum, 398 Eddy Street, THE TENDERLOIN MUSEUM, THE HARVEY MILK LGBT DEMOCRATIC CLUB, and Cleve Jones present KICKOFF THE KICKSTARTER for «Thanks to Hank,” an evening celebrating the life of storied Tenderloin hero and AIDS activist, Hank Wilson. https://kck.st/2DDyIeY

PHOTO BY RINK

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

eight shadowboxes, including a scene of La Rondalla cocktail lounge with a Mariachi band and dancer miniature people. In another, famed Mexican artist Frida Kahlo of the 30s and 40s overlooks a festive street party. Michael Roman (who died last year) was discovered by musician Carlos Santana in the mid90s with “Bobcat” oil/mixed media on paper with a fearsome black cat surrounded by Aztec symbols. Several gorgeous sculptures by Concepcion Aguilar are displayed on pedestals. www.backtothepicture.com

Donna Sachet’s SONGS OF THE SEASON, benefiting PRC, returns with a new line-up of talent, curated and hosted by Billboard Recording Artist Brian Kent on Monday, Tuesday, (continued on page 26) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

25

FISCHER (continued from page 3)

MILLER (continued from page 11)

In District 10, I correctly predicted Shamann Walton and he captured 42% of first choice votes. Third-time candidate Tony Kelly came in 2nd with 24% and first-time candidate, Theo Ellington, followed with 20%. Somewhere in Dogpatch or the Bayview there is a production facility ramping up to print Tshirts and buttons for the “Theo 2028” campaign.

Final tally: taking out the races that are still too close to call, I went 22-for-24 for a 92% success rate. If you are feeling postelection sadness, fear not. The next City

election is November 5, 2019, less than 1 year from now!

Louise (Lou) Fischer is the Immediate Past Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and has served as an appointed and elected Delegate for the State Democratic Party. She is a proud graduate of the Emerge California Women’s Democratic Leadership program, was a San Francisco Commissioner and has served in leadership positions in multiple nonprofit and community-based organizations.

SHORTER (continued from page 5) the republic. Exercising our constitutional right to vote for whom we want to represent us in our Congress, as state governor, in state houses and all levels of government, is the best demonstration of American democracy.

Democratic action taken for the sake of democratic action is the single most powerful saving grace of our democracy.

Thanks to Pelosi, Abrams, Gillum, the congressional candidates and the voters who showed up to fight for a democra-

cy always worth fighting for. Let’s do it again in 2020.

Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights, and marriage equality. A Co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

before they’re eligible for Medicare, or those who can send their kids to the best schools.

But if you’re going to compare yourself to other people, maybe it would be smart to think about populations outside of our insular Bay Area. Look at what you have versus the rest of the country—or better yet, the rest of the world. Could you raise a family on two minimum-wage salaries?

Would you want to trade places with someone in Florida or the Carolinas who lost everything to natural disasters and doesn’t have insurance or adequate savings to replace losses? Aren’t you much, much better off than those forced to flee their homeland because of violence or climate conditions?

My point here is that when looking at other people’s lives, you’re always going to find those who are better off than you are, as well as those who are worse off. So, instead of measuring what you possess versus someone else, why not focus on the many things in your

life that you have to be grateful for?

You can start by being thankful that you’re able to live in or near this culturally rich city with fabulous weather and world-class cuisine. It’s a place where opportunities abound for your favorite outdoor activities, whether that’s surfing the waves, skiing the slopes or just sunbathing in the buff. And you benefit from the Bay Area’s pioneering politics, which often show the rest of the country, sometimes even the world, a better way forward.

What’s more, if you can afford to live here—and are reading a column called “Money Matters”— it’s not likely that you’re poor. So, ask yourself this: how much do you really need to accomplish what you want in life?

If you’re on track, stop worrying about things that might never come to pass and trap you into thinking that you need even more money. There’s no need to gamble on riskier investments for potentially higher pay-offs if lower-risk

investments can deliver returns that meet your needs. Realizing that you have enough in the grand scheme of things can make you more appreciative.

If you’re not yet on track, figure out what’s realistic and make a plan to get there. Knowing that you’re working to meet your goals can be way more satisfying than just pursuing money for its own sake. Plus, you’re likely to feel more thankful for what you have when you measure your money by how it moves you closer to your goals versus looking at where someone else stands in their life.

By putting things in context, you’ll likely discover that you’re richer than you think. Now that’s something to be grateful for.

Brandon Miller, CFP® is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

ROSTOW (continued from page 12) Confronted by NBC News, Goldwasser said that the publicity was painful, but “will become a catalyst for me seeking the right help for myself.”

“It is sad that despite the fact that I have been able to help many people over the years who have suffered from the effects of child sexual abuse and sexual addiction, I obviously was unable to help myself,” he added.

“There is no justification for my personal behavior and I deeply regret the pain I have caused people in my personal life.”

It’s not clear to me exactly what our ursine pal is saying, but I think we all agree that he needs help of some kind.

Goldwasser, a co-author of a 2006 paper titled “Holistic Therapy: A Comprehensive, Clinical Approach to the Treatment of SSA,” was also involved in the God-awful Journey into Manhood conversion program, which according to one undercover reporter involved homoerotic hugging and manly role playing designed to restore a (cough) healthy attitude towards one’s father. SSA, by the way, stands for same-sex attraction, which I gather is often referred to in antigay circles through this contrived acronym.

Whatever makes you happy, fellas.

I love these stories, but are they really a surprise to us? Anyone who would spend their life trying to force gay people to be straight has a few screws loose. Because, why do that? Would any of us start a therapy practice designed to get straight people to turn gay? I don’t think so! My train, for the record, is now chugging through a snowscape. We must have gained altitude at some point. It’s very beautiful.

The conductor just reminded us that there’s chocolate, snacks and drinks in the dining car.

All Aboard!

I should have mentioned that Kim Davis, the county clerk from Kentucky who ostentatiously refused to sign the paperwork for same-sex marriages after the High Court ruling in 2015, lost her election to a Democrat and will now consider entering the “Christian ministry,” or wherever else “the Lord is leading her,” said her lawyer, Mat Staver of Liberty Whatever Sanctimonious Name Organization. Yes, I would usually look up the organization and fix the placeholder, but I don’t want to.

We are now approaching Haugastol Station. And now we’re off again,

KRAMER (continued from page 24) Primavera, a gay-themed romantic comedy, Darín demurred, “I change a lot. I don’t get bored, but I am very restless. I like to play lots of different characters. I like diversity. I think that sometimes I am refreshed when I move from drama to comedy and look for different parts. I don’t like to do the same thing. I’m young, so I’m proving myself. I am looking for more difficult projects to see what I can do. I’m on

I was just reading about a gay Saudi Arabian man who has won asylum in the United States after a five year process. Now known by the assumed name of Wajeeh Lion, age 25, the man was a student at Kansas State when he came out to his conservative parents and was told to return immediately for conversion therapy. The man refused, and with the help of a K-State dean, he applied for asylum based on his sexual orientation, which can carry the death penalty in Saudi Arabia. Two Kansas City lawyers took his case pro bono, and he won the recognition he sought a couple of months ago.

I bring it up, because as we all know, Trump is now trying, what? I’m not even sure. Banning all asylum requests? The man is so beyond insane and so oblivious to the rule of law that I can’t even follow his bluster. According to the San Diego press, a group of several dozen GLBT members of the famed migrant “caravan” have band-

In some of the reports I’ve read, these relatively young aspirants are looking forward to the lives they might lead once they’ve reached our border, apparently unaware of the grotesque attitudes now pervading a large minority of the American populace and directing our government. Do they know that military forces have been deployed to help guard the border and newsmen have called them diseased terrorists? I doubt it, much as the parents who signed away their custody rights (or whatever it was) had no idea that their kids could now disappear into webs of Kaf kaesque bureaucracies, never to be retrieved from the misbegotten institutions that ensnared them.

And what can we do but watch and complain and wish it would all end?

The Age of Reason Finally, the Washington Post has a story about a Dutch man who has petitioned a court in Arnhem to let him legally change his age from 69 to 49.

Emile Ratelband claims that if gender is no longer immutable, neither is age, since he feels fine and looks younger than his birth certificate would indicate. Ratelband wants the advantages of a younger dating pool and better job prospects, and astonishingly, the court is considering his claims.

I really hate these self-satisfied gadf lies who believe they’re making a point by presenting absurd extensions of civil rights reasoning. Gender is not immutable. Age is. He reminds me as well of the conservative activists who ask bakers to make cakes that say all kinds of nasty things about gays in an effort to show that religious freedom cuts both ways even as no gay couple has ever asked a baker to put a disparaging message on a cake.

Indeed, I am exhausted by all the ill will I seem to be carting around, and the only thing that rejuvenates me is the lovely water on the right side of my train as we whistle around the bend towards Oslo. arostow@aol.com

JAKE HEGGIE (continued from page 20)

that path, and I will be on that path forever. I’m like Ramón. I don’t know what my thing is yet.”

and Wednesday, November 26, 27, and 28 at the legendary Feinstein’s. https://bit.ly/2Pp42Ve

singers. I just finished the piano/vocal score and am now orchestrating. It opens in August next year.

© 2018 Gary M. Kramer

THE ANNUAL CASTRO HOLIDAY TREE LIGHTING is on November 26, 6 pm, in front of the Bank of America building, and the CHANUKAH MENORAH LIGHTING is on December 5 at Jane Warner Plaza. https://bit.ly/2JYMU2A

Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @ garymkramer

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on pg 20) C) Featherweight Featherweight Fox’s career was fraught with controversy and confusion as athletic commissions struggled with the appropriate licensing process to approve Fox for competition.

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

Gay Caravan Coming

ed together and taken the road to Tijuana, where they will wait in line to present themselves for asylum, which let’s remind everyone, is a perfectly legal process.

SISTER DANA (continued from page 25)

KIT’N KITTY’S

26

speeding down the narrow tracks through a snowy landscape mixed with brown hills and barren trees.

Geilo Station is next.

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

Join the HARVEY MILK LGBT DEMOCRATIC CLUB on November 27, 7 pm, at Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro for the 40th anniversary remembrance of the assassinations of HARVEY MILK & GEORGE MOSCONE for a candlelight march and rally. (See related cover and special section in this issue of the San Francisco Bay Times.) http://www.milkclub.org/ On November 29, 7–9 pm, THE GLBT HISTORICAL SOCIETY presents VOICES OF AIDS ACTIVISM in the Castro museum, 4127 18th Street. This will be the first public showing of video interviews from the GLBT Historical Society’s ongoing “San Francisco ACT UP Oral History Project” documenting the history of direct-action AIDS activism in the Bay Area. https://bit.ly/2zRo3t8 Sister Dana sez, “Donald Rump says that CA Repugnican Rep. Devin Nunes should get the Medal of Freedom—America’s highest civilian honor—for his efforts to confound the Russia investigation. More like the Medal for Meddling, riiiiight?!”

San Francisco Bay Times: We understand that you are married to your partner, who is a star performer in the long-running revue Beach Blanket Babylon. What’s it like in your home with so much music, theater, rehearsal, performance, schedules and the curtain always going up?

Jake Heggie: Curt Branom and I met almost 20 years ago on a houseboat trip on Lake Shasta! He’s an incredibly kind, smart, beautiful, generous and gifted man—the best man I’ve ever known. We have so much fun together and love to travel, spend time with friends, cook, etc. He’s the charismatic King Louis in Beach Blanket Babylon, though he has many roles in the show, including Putin, the Pope, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and on and on. We’re lucky to both be in the performing arts, but in different fields. We have great empathy and understanding for what it takes to do this work. Our home life is very quiet. We’ve got a very sweet dog, Cody, who is now 14 ½ years old. And we have a fabulous son who is now 23 and graduating from Cal State East Bay. San Francisco Bay Times: If late night TV host James Corden picked you up for Carpool Karaoke, what would you sing?

Jake Heggie: Without question it would be “Enough is Enough”—the great Barbra Streisand/Donna Summer duet.

It’s a Wonderful Life Performances from 11/17–12/09 Tickets start at $26 https://sfopera.com/1819season/wonderful/#wondercast

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

COMING UP

Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Darlene Love, the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir and additional artists will perform at Macy’s 29th Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony @ Union Square, 333 Post Street on Friday, November 23. 5:30pm. http://www.unionsquareshop.com

CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/ NOVEMBER

15 Thursday

challenges faced by teenagers in Uganda during 1999. Continues through December 2. http://www.nctcsf.org

Cardboard Piano @ New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness Avenue. Produced in conjunction with the Museum of African Diaspora, the play is a lesbian love story about the

Friendsgiving NightLife @ California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse Drive, Golden Gate Park. The evening, a special holiday edition of the ongoing NightLife series, includes activities

including crafts tables, a portrait studio, lessons on making desserts and beverages, the outdoor ice rink and dancing. 6 pm http://www.calacademy.org LGBTQ Heritage Pride!

Party @ GLBT Historical Society Museum, 4127 18th Street.

The annual LGBTQ party of the National Trust conference is being hosted this year in San Francisco.

Each ticket ($20) includes entrance to the Museum, snacks, drinks and drag! https://bit.ly/2PqGS0I

16 Friday Requiem Mass: A Queer Divine Rite @ Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street. Yerba Buena Center for the Arts presents the choral work by composer Holcombe Waller that remembers those who suffered persecution for their sexual orientation and gender expression. 7:30pm and also on November 17. https://bit.ly/2PqGS0I Bakanal de Afrique: What Had Happpened Was … An Afro-Urban Musical @ Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th Street.

A series of personal stories frames the timeline of Afro Urban culture from its birthplace in the cities of Africa to the beats on the streets of Black America and the world.

8pm. http://www.bakanaldeafrique.com MTT’s From the Diary of Anne Frank & Beethoven’s Eroica @ Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness Avenue. Music and arts as a human right is the theme of this concert marking the 70th anniversary of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Continues on November 17 and 18. http://www.sfsymphony.org A History of World War II: The D-Day Invasion to the Fall of Berlin @ The Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia Street. Written and performed

by Theatre Rhino’s John Fisher, the show includes the history plus Fisher’s take on the generals who fought the battles and the actors who played them in the movies.

Continues through December 15. http://www.themarsh.org

17 Saturday Aida: Hit Musical with Score

by Elton John & Tim Rice @ Fox Theatre, Redwood City. The four-time Tony winning show, set in the time of Pharaohs, tells the story of a beautiful Nubian princess taken away from her homeland and the bond she forms with the future ruler of Egypt. 2pm, 8pm and 28

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

Compiled by Blake Dillon 2:30pm on Sunday, November 18. http://www.broadwaybythebay.org 50 Years of Fabulous / Marlena’s Bar Reunion @ Proxy SF, 432 Octavia Blvd. Hosted by the Imperial Council of San Francisco, the evening will include Marlena’s Hayes Valley Follies followed by a screening of the documentary and a Post Party at Dobbs Ferry Bar. 6-9:30pm. http://www.50yearsoffab.com Robin Flower & Libby McLaren @ Freight & Salvage, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley.

Nancy Vogl and Suzanne Shanbaum will join Flower and McLaren for an evening of music with additional special guests. 8pm. http://www.thefreight.org Joan Baez @ Fox Theatre Oakland, 1807 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland. After a sold-out performance at The Masonic, the acclaimed artist and activist brings her Farewell Tour to the East Bay. Continues on November 18. http://www.thefoxoakland.com

18 Sunday Community Women’s Orchestra Fall Family Concert “Dance Party!” @ Lake Merritt United Methodist Church, 1330 Lakeshore Drive, Oakland. The concert will feature works by Rimsky-Korsakov, SaintSaens, J. Strauss and selections

by Hisaishi from the film My Neighbor Totoro. 4pm. http://www. womenscommunityorchestra.org

Men on Boats @ A.C.T.’s Strand Theater, 1127 Market Street.

A cast of gender fluid, female identified women present the story of one-armed Civil War veteran John Wesley Powell, whose band of adventurers explored the waterways of the American West. The production was an offBroadway sensation. Continues through December 16. http://www.act-sf.org Queer Country Showcase with Lavender Country @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Albany. Velvetta, whose rereleased album Lavender Country was the first gay county album (1973), and Cindy Emch and her band Secret Emchy Society will perform. 8:30pm. http://www.ivyroom.com

19 Monday The Dumpling Making Social @ The Connection, 730 Polk Street. The Connection, GAPA and Stanford’s ThanksGiving Back group will discuss, through a dumpling-making activity, the importance of safe spaces for the

Queer Asian & Pacific Islander community. 6-9pm. http://www.gapa.org Contact Warhol: Photography Without End @ Cantor Arts Center, Stanford University, 328 Lomita Drive at Museum Way, Stanford. The exhibit includes never before seen photographs representing the range of Warhol’s black-and-white work from 1976 until his death in 1987. Continues through January 9. http://www.museum.stanford.edu

20 Tuesday Transgender Day of Remembrance SF @ Louis B. Mayer Auditorium, UC Hastings College of Law, 200 McAllister Street. A March from City Hall to UC Hastings will be followed by a program and reception with light refreshments. 5:30pm march/68pm program/8-9pm reception.

Transgender Day of Remembrance on Facebook Thanks to Hank: Kickoff for the Kickstarter @ Tenderloin Museum, 398 Eddy Street.

Hosted by the Museum and the Harvey Milk Democratic Club and Cleve Jones, the evening is a benefit to launch fundraising for a documentary film about the storied LGBTQ activist Hank Wilson.

6-9pm. http://www.tenderloinmuseum.org

21 Wednesday 4th Annual Empress Holigay Bake Sale! @ Lookout, 3500 16th Street. Cakes, pies and other special treats will be available for purchase. 6-9pm. http://www.lookoutsf.com Mighty Real PreThanksgiving All Night Dance Party @ Monarch, 101 6th Street. An extended all night set by David Harness downstairs and Steve Fabus and Sergio Fedasz upstairs. 9pm-3am. http://www.monarchsf.com

22 Thursday Tenderloin Tessie Thanksgiving Dinner Volunteers Needed @ First Unitarian Universalist Society of San Francisco, 1187 Franklin Street.

Volunteer shifts are available 9am to 6pm. You can help with loading and unloading on the evening prior and the day of Thanksgiving. tenderlointessie@yahoo.com Thanksgiving Dinner @ Billy DeFrank LGBTQ+ Community Center, Ballroom, 938 The Alameda, San Jose. “Pot Luck & Turkey” with fabulous people and

great food where all are welcome.

Noon-3pm. http://www.defrankcenter.org LGBTQ Thanksgiving @ Oakland LGBTQ Community Center, 3207 Lakeshore Avenue, Oakland. This second annual free Thanksgiving meal for the community welcomes all and seeks volunteers and donations to support it. 1-9pm. http://www.oaklandlgbtqcenter.org Thanksgiving Potluck Lunch @ Castro Country Club, 4058 18th Street. This annual potluck lunch offers food, fun and fellowship where all are welcome, followed at 4pm by the annual Gratitude meeting. 1-3:30pm. http://www.castrocountryclub.org

23 Friday LGBTQ Opening Night with Taylor Mac’s Holiday Sauce Show @ Curran, 445 Geary.

Sonoma Gaydar will host an After Party and a discount (code: Gaydar) on tickets to the show. 8-11pm. http://www.sonomagaydar.com Swagger Like Us @ White Horse Bar, 6551 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland. Featuring Namasté Shawty, Jibbz + Raquita, Swagger Like Us continues its mission as a queer hip-hop and club musicinfluenced dance party featuring up and coming performers. 9pm-2am. http://www.swaggersf.com

24 Saturday Food Glorious Food! @ Martuni’s, 4 Valencia. Featuring The Velvet Variety band, this holiday kickoff is a sendup of America’s favorite pastime, food, with music from broadway, opera, country, jazz and pop plus lots of laughs.

7-8:30pm. http://www.thevelvetvariety.net Amy Winehouse Tribute featuring The Back to Black Band @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Albany. The eight-piece band composed of some of the finest musicians in the Bay Area will recreate Amy’s most memorable songs. 8:30pm. http://www.ivyroom.com Mother Tribute to Dolly Parton! @ Oasis, 298 11th Street. The annual Dolly Tribute returns with performances by Heklina and a lineup of stars.

10pm-3am. http://www.oasissf.com ShangriLa Thanksgiving Butterball Party @ The Endup, 401 6th Street. It’s a party with lots of dancing to work off the carbs intake with VIP bottle service and a guest list. 10pm-6am. http;//www.shangrilasf.net

25 Sunday Sunday’s A Drag @ The Starlight Room, Powell Street.

Hosted by Donna Sachet, the event features a brunch and a troupe of entertainers. Described as “The Greatest Drag Show in San Francisco,” we agree! Every Sunday at 11am and 2pm. http://www.startlightroomsf.com Kim Nalley & Tammy Hall Pay Respect to Aretha Franklin @ Freight & Salvage, 2020 Addison Street. Musicians Jeff Chambers and Kent Bryson will join Nalley and Hall in a dynamic exploration of the music of The Queen of Soul. 7pm. http://www.thefreight.org

26 Monday SF Jazz Monday Night Band @ San Francisco LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street. Co-hosted by SF LGBT Center and SF JAZZ, this free concert features the talented SFJAZZ Monday Night Band.

7:00pm. http://www.sfcenter.org SF Eagle Karaoke @ SF Eagle, 398 12th Street. The weekly event on Mondays is hosted by Beth Bicostal, Eduardo Wagar and Rahni NothingMore. 9pm-1am. http://www.sf-eagle.com

27 Tuesday Sister Circle @ Openhouse, 55 Laguna. A monthly 4th Tuesday event for women-identified LGBTQ community members to make new connections in a luncheon setting.

12-1:30pm. sylvia@openhouse-sf.org Barbara Kinney: Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Photographer on Being in the Room @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street. An award-winning photojournalist who has served the Clintons for twenty-five years at the White House, on the campaign trail in 2008 and 2016, at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding and more, Kinney will tell what it’s like to be in the room with Hillary. 6-8pm. http://www.welcometomannys.com Queer and Trans Open Mic @ Oakland LGBTQ Community Center, 3207 Lakeshore Avenue, Oakland. Presented by Spectrum Queer Media and hosted by Kin Folkz and Blackberri, the event provides a safe space for transformative collective selfcare with the LGBTQIA2S and Authentic Ally community. 7pm and every Tuesday. http://www.oaklandlgbtqcenter.org Ginger’s Karaoke with DJ Shaggy @ Ginger’s, 86 Hardie Place. Every Wednesday everyone is a star, or wants to be, at this no judgement event where all are entertained with “the good the bad and the fab.” 8pm-1am. http://www.gingers.bar

28 Wednesday Fighting Back: Harvey Milk’s Living Legacy @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street, San Francisco. Cosponsored by the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club, the event will feature a panel discussion of historians, veteran organizers and young activists discussing how the events of 1978 affected the progressive movement and continue to inspire positive change today. 7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org Taking The Work Out of Networking with Author Karen Wickre @ Books Inc., 301 Castro Street, Moutain View.

The former Google executive and editorial director of Twitter will present her book subtitled An Introvert’s Guide to Making Connections That Count. 7–9pm. http://www.booksinc.net

29 Thursday QTPOC at Strut: Celebration of Resilience @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. In the every Thursday QTPOC series at Strut, the event is a night of storytelling, celebration, reflection and a screening of the documentary Out in Silence. http://www.strutsf.org Castro Rotary Winter Shelter Dinner @ St. Boniface Church-Franciscans, 133 Golden Gate Avenue. Castro Rotary Club will provide the food for this special meal served for some 100 homeless men who stay overnight at the Winter Shelter. You can help by volunteering or making a donation. 5-7pm. Castro Rotary on Facebook

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

29

Round About - All Over Town Fall Season Photos by Rink

Guest Sharyn Saslafsky (left), who was a friend and supporter of Harvey Milk, holds a copy of author Lillian Faderman’s new book, Harvey Milk: His Life and Death, at the book event featuring Faderman held on November 6 at the SF Public Library’s Hormel LGBTQIA Center.

Board member Gina Grahame (left) and past president Dawn Ackerman (right) paused with member Fred Sullivan at GGBA’s Holiday Reception held at the Redwood Bar at the Clift Hotel on November 7.

Server Chelsea at B. Patisserie in Pacific Heights displayed chocolate chip cookies and other pastries on November 2. B. Patisserie was named the #1 Bakery in the U.S. by the James Beard Foundation and their chocolate cookies were voted Best in SF by readers of San Francisco Magazine.

Author Marcus Ewert displayed his popular book for children, Mr. Pack Rat Really Wants That, at Dog Eared Books Castro on November 1.

Brian Springer and Romwald Connolly with the Friends of Harvey Milk Plaza renovation plans on display at Wild Card in the Castro on November 1

Polling place volunteers staffed the sidewalk voting unit at San Francisco City Hall on Election Night, November 6.

Moderator Roger Doughty with panelists Kate Kendell, Rea Carey, Kris Hayashi, Maria Sjodin and Brett Andrews at the Horizons Foundation Q Series event entitled “On the State of the LGBTQ Movement” held at the SF Public Library’s Koret Auditorium on November 8.

Activist Ken Jones was on hand as a volunteer monitoring the polling stations on Election Night at San Francisco City Hall.

Representatives of Bay Area American Indian Two Spirits (BAAITS) performed at the GLBT History Museum event, “The Indian Is Still Here: Two Spirit History and Drumming” on November 1.

As Heard on the Street . . .

What are your thoughts about the 40th year commemoration of the assasination of Harvey Milk?

30

compiled by Rink

Toni Newman

Richard Hammer

Brett Andrews

Garza Peru

“Harvey Milk, through all the resistance, rose up and became a phenomenal leader through hard times. 40 years later he is still remembered and honored for his vision.”

“Having come out as gay in 1959, I remember Dr. Kameney in the 50s, Mr. Milk in the 70s, Sheila Kuehl in the 90s, and Jared Polis in the 21st century. I thank them all!”

“I’m reminded of his fundamental tenets of acceptance and inclusion.

In a nation that has such deep divisions, it would behoove us all to elevate those core values.”

“We don’t remember Milk so our generation has to learn our LGBT history and accomplishments to face our new challenges and survive.”

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 8

CASTRO

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

STREETCAM presented by

Honoree Laverne Cox addressed the crowd of attendees at the Transgender Law Center’s SPARK! benefit.

http://sfbaytimes.com/

Presenter Cecilia Chung with honoree Laverne Cox at the Transgender Law Center’s SPARK! benefit held at Bentley Reserve on October 18

Emcees Juanita MORE! and Tita Aida on stage at the Transgender Law Center’s SPARK! benefit

Attorneys Deb Kinney and Yulissa Zulaica with Openhouse’s Karyn Skultety at the Transgender Law Center’s SPARK! benefit Berlin & Beyond Film Festival director Sophoan Sorn (second from right) and president Sigrid Savelsberg (right) greeted guests at the Festival’s Autumn Showcase screenings at the Roxie Theater on November 1.

Guests at the Transgender Law Center’s SPARK! benefit held on October 18 at the Bentley Reserve

Halloween in the Castro

Harvey Milk Was a Regular at the Elephant Walk, Now Named ‘Harvey’s’ Harvey Milk supported numerous local businesses, and particularly those that he could walk to from his own Castro Camera at 575 Castro Street. One of his favorite stops was the Elephant Walk bar/ restaurant at 500 Castro Street. Opened on November 27, 1974, by Fred Rogers and David Manducca, the Elephant Walk was, as Milk said, “a place where the gay community could meet, feel safe and secure while at the same time be visible to the whole world.”

(left) An original Elephant Walk window etching

After a restoration following a fire, the location in 1996 was renamed Harvey’s in memory of Milk. It retains a welcoming vibe and is now also known for excellent food, beverages and friendly camaraderie.

Read more about this location’s rich history: http://www.harveyssf.com/History.html

Harvey’s at 18th and Castro Streets

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 15, 2018

31