San Francisco Bay Times - December 20, 2018 by San Francisco Bay Times

BAY TIMES S

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018) December 20, 2018–January 9, 2019 | http://sfbaytimes.com

MAYOR BREED:

PHOTO BY RINK

SEE STORY ON PAGE 4

PHOTOS COURTESY OF SAN FRANCISCO LESBIAN/GAY FREEDOM BAND

‘Oy’ or ‘Joy’ to the World in 2019? the street, cuz I’m afraid to come back home. My mom will keep insulting me. I’m a Chinese, as u know, it’s not an ‘equal’ country, I’m not allowed to be a gay. But I want to be who I’m supposed to be. I really don’t know what to do. Thanks for listening.”

6/26 and Beyond Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis The end of one year and the beginning of the next provides us the opportunity—if we choose to take it— to reflect on how we relate to some of the most cherished human qualities and values: gratitude, generosity, connection, self-ref lection, intentionality, justice, equality and nonviolence. As we bid farewell (or good riddance) to 2018 and welcome 2019, the two of us find ourselves both discovering “ joy”—and exclaiming, “Oy!” One dictionary def inition of the word “oy” (short for “oy vey”) is: “a Yiddish exclamation used when someone is upset, shocked, disappointed, worried, etc.” For many of us, reasons to say “oy” on a political and global (and perhaps a personal) level are plentiful: the Trump Presidency, Brett Kavanaugh’s joining Neil Gorsuch on the U.S. Supreme Court, the California wildfires raging as the Trump administration continues to backtrack on efforts to address climate change—just to name a few. And some joys easily come to mind: a progressive San Franciscan, Nancy Pelosi, set to resume her historic position as the first woman Speaker of the House; and the election of the nation’s first openly gay governor, Jared Polis, who along with his partner Marlon Reis, “Colorado’s first man,” will move into the Governor’s Mansion in January. We experienced a personal and political “oy” moment last fall when, out of the blue, we received an email from a teenager who had apparently attended a talk we had given in China the year before. The email read: “It’s Andrew—I’m an 18-yearold high school student. Yesterday I came out to my family, but it seemed like a disaster. With pieces of broken glass on the floor, I was forced to see a doctor whom I’ve not met. My mom wants to stop giving me money and interrupt my applying for colleges. I was insulted by my mom for 2 days. I’m sitting on

Sadly, that email—or much worse— could have come from anywhere in America or around the world, and our hearts go out to all facing such distress. We remember our own internal stress and the less dramatic challenges we faced as we came out. From thousands of miles away, we responded to Andrew’s email with love, empathy, affirmation and support. We reminded Andrew that he was “a beautiful, loving person just the way you are” and offered practical suggestions as well. Months later, we heard back from Andrew: “After struggling for a long time, the argu[ing] finally stopped, but I don’t know if my family is supportive ... . I think it’ll take time. I’m fine now, and I hope my family will understand me someday. Thank you so much!!! ”

❤❤❤

We hope things will continue to get better for Andrew, but we really don’t know if they will. And for many people, living conditions and circumstances do not improve. At the National AIDS Memorial Grove’s annual “Light in the Grove” event in December, outgoing Board Chair and Lifetime of Commitment Honoree Mike Shriver reminded those gathered that in our community’s long struggle with HIV/AIDS and in the experiences of those who lived with the disease in the bleakest times, it was not about death; it was all about life. Those of us who have taken part have had the chance to receive agonizing, bittersweet, intimate and inspiring gifts when we joined and witnessed people with AIDS living even as their tragic deaths approached. In Mike’s words that evening: “L’Chaim”—to life. The first Buddhist practice precept is to abstain from intentionally killing any animate life. Those who find inspiration in this commitment may spend inordinate amounts of time and effort trying to rid their homes of such things as visiting flies, ants and spiders without swatting or smushing them. Ultimately, the idea is to do so, not pedantically, but to appreciate the vitality and vibrancy of life and to cultivate a heart that wishes no harm to anyone or anything.

Light Up the Night in the Castro 2018 Photos by Paul Margolis Congregation Sha’ar Zahav’s annual Menorah Lighting celebration at Jane Warner Plaza attracted youngsters and adults alike. They were on hand to light the candles for the fourth night of the eight-night Hanukkah observance. District 8’s Supervisor Rafael Mandelman and Castro Merchants Daniel Bergerac were on hand along with Cantor Sharon Bernstein and other members of the congregation and their guests.

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Two-time Pulitzer Prize winner M.S. Merwin’s poem “Thanks” comes to mind: Listen with the night falling we are saying thank you we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railings we are running out of the glass rooms with our mouths full of food to look at the sky and say thank you we are standing by the water thanking it standing by the windows looking out in our directions back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging after funerals we are saying thank you after the news of the dead whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you over telephones we are saying thank you in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators remembering wars and the police at the door and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you in the banks we are saying thank you in the faces of the officials and the rich and of all who will never change we go on saying thank you thank you with the animals dying around us taking our feelings we are saying thank you with the forests falling faster than the minutes of our lives we are saying thank you with the words going out like cells of a brain with the cities growing over us we are saying thank you faster and faster with nobody listening we are saying thank you thank you we are saying and waving dark though it is “Oy” and “Joy”—and thanks— to the World and to all of the San Francisco Bay Times readers as we say goodbye to 2018, and hello, 2019! John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.

Truth of the Matter About Trump, the Wall and His Manhood

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter Okay, so, my previously mentioned wish for once and future Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to be Time magazine’s “Person of the Year” did not come to pass. Mind you, I’m not a subscriber or even regular reader of the weekly magazine, but I was still hopeful for what would have been a well-deserved honor following Pelosi’s expert marshal of midterm election forces to take back the House of Representatives with a desperately needed majority Democrat stronghold. That ship has sailed, and since then her unexpected reality televised toeto-toe smack down of Trump seen and heard around the world was just moments later punctuated by her fiercely fantastic exit from the White House donning that stunning blood red orange Max Mara coat—now in high demand for a return to the Max Mara high fashion lineup for 2019— flourished by her putting on very dark sunglasses as she stepped forward like a bad-ass boss to the press corps mics to report on the meet and greet with the ill-temper tantrum prone, border wall obsessed president. When the most powerful woman in American politics gives us the biggest meme-worthy moment since the invention of memes, maybe that well-wished tribute by Time was des-

And when you are the seasoned 78-year-old stalwart steadying the course amidst a rebel band of new power generation detractors within your party ranks to recapture the second seat in succession to a free-falling presidency after the vice president, there is little time for suffering the foolishness of mansplaining her power or agency from a man who can hardly articulate any thought of his own that is not laden with lies, diversion or self-serving aggrandizement. There is a barrelful of concern about Trump’s determination to fulf ill a half-cocked notion to build a giant, waste of multi-billion dollars-worth of border wall/monument-to-self that brings his “manhood” into question, as Pelosi was reported to have pointedly jibed at later that day after the soirée in the Oval Room with Trump, Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer and a mannequinlike Mike Pence. For one, the fact that that the president’s welcome of press, aka the “enemy of the people” in his mind, into what would normally be a fairly perfunctory and brief photo op of some semblance of bi-partisan niceties with the legislative leaders before resigning into a closed door meet-up, was completely turned upside down by Pelosi and Schumer’s hold-our-ground shout down of a Trump shutdown of the federal government unless he gets more U.S. taxpayer dollars (not pesos) to finance his precious wall. The real exposure of that day was, yet again, of a president wholly disinterested in governance grounded in and informed by facts. At this point, not even Trump seems to actually believe (not that he ever really did) in previously stated purpose of a great wall for border security. His red-meat baiting campaign rally has morphed

into more of a personal crusade— sans facts about the efficacy of a wall, alternative twenty-first century border security technologies, the actual levels of threat to American workers or their safety posed by northbound migrants or those seeking asylum. It is a test of will against the inconceivability of not getting his way to leaving a visible-from-space monument long after his numbered days and damage is done as president. Trump is a brand manufactured by a sort of short-circuit psycho-cybernetic willful manifest: if you envision and say that something will happen repeatedly, loudly, forcefully and imbued with inevitability enough, it supposedly will happen. It’s a funked up cheap Jedi mind-trick that suggests that whether he is president or not, he possesses a supreme power to make whatever he wants to happen happen. Any road block or resistance to his self-delusional sense of manifest destiny is a personal affront and threat by lesser beings too stupid to see or comprehend his greatness. Even if those roadblocks to greatness are of his own making by folly or design, he is, of course, always infallible in his own mind. He seems to think that he can do no wrong. In his Trumped-up universe, he is the truth, the light, the way. He believes that everyone must defend and secede their opposition to whatever is his will or manifest—in business, politics or personal affairs. Such posture does not allow for compromise or real negotiation, as compromise and negotiation require points of fact. If you are constitutionally oblivious to points of fact, that essentially makes for a non-starter for any constructive, meaningful engagement. If there was any point of fact that was further highlighted in Pelosi and Schumer’s televised collision with the wall that is Trump, it was that, to him, facts are irrelevant, fungi-

Funding Progress, Protecting Tomorrow cession are still fresh in peoples’ minds, and no one wants to relive that.

Assemblymember Phil Ting As we begin the New Year and a new legislative session, it’s exciting to see California revving its engines at the starting line with a new governor and a Democratic supermajority in both houses. I thank my constituents for re-electing me to a fourth term so that I can be part of this journey. We’re ready to get to work! I’m honored to continue serving as the Chair of our Assembly Budget Committee and to help craft a fourth fiscal plan for the state. I recently unveiled my 2019–20 Budget Blueprint: Funding Progress|Protecting Tomorrow, which aims to build upon the investments we made in the current budget, while also preparing us for an economic downturn. By most measures, our economy is thriving with our state taking in record revenues. In fact, the non-partisan Legislative Analyst Office (LAO) projects that we’ll have a budget surplus by mid-year. But in the same breath, the LAO also warns that California does not have enough saved to weather a recession without making budget cuts if new spending is proposed. We have to listen. Memories of draconian cuts made ten years ago to schools and other essential programs in the wake of the Great Re-

Our state’s leadership was right to prioritize f illing the rainy-day fund in anticipation of hard times to come. The overarching themes of my Budget Blueprint are to: 1) focus on one-time investments, 2) keep our promises, 3) pursue long-term goals and 4) ensure that taxpayers get the most from their government. That means continuing to fund the significant progress we’ve made: boosting per-pupil spending in K–12 education, increasing CalWORKs grants to alleviate deep poverty, allowing SSI–SSP recipients to finally receive food benefits, expanding UC and CSU enrollment for California students and creating new child care slots. We’ll also work with communities devastated by wildfires to help them recover, as well as invest in forest management and new emergency response equipment. But that also means encouraging one-time allocations instead of committing the state to new ongoing expenses we can’t af ford. One-time investments are equally critical to help California thrive and could include infusions for specif ic state programs, reducing our state’s debts, performing deferred maintenance on our aging infrastructure and boosting reserves. For ex a mple, a f ter hea ring about the state’s progress in HIV prevention, includ-

PHOTO BY ANDREW HARTNIK

tined to pale by comparison. When your coat gets its own Twitter handle, @IAmNancyPelosisCoat, you’ve reached a whole new zenith.

As reported by The Hill, an image projected by Resistance SF on the front of the Federal Building in San Francisco depicted Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi wearing her now famous red coat and sunglasses. In the photo above, Pelosi and Senate Democratic Leader Charles Schumer leave the White House after a contentious Oval Office meeting on December 11.

ble, to be readily dismissed, are suspect and—above all—infuriating. Facts mean truth. When you are the master peddler of untruths, truth is like kryptonite: its proximity always threatens to sap away your powers of deceit upon which you have manufactured, and brought to manifest what you want and need others to see you as—personally all powerful, untouchable, omnipotent—especially when you know it is not true. For those that remain concerned about the freedom of the press, seekers of truth and fact, we should take satisfaction in Time magazine’s 2108 Person of the Year: journalists. Its focus is on “the guardians and the war on truth” in the aftermath of the murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi in a Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul in October, the murders of the journalists at the Capital Gazette in Annapolis, Maryland, the bomb threats to CNN, and the arrests and indictments of numerous journalists around the world challenging authoritarianism.

I’m glad that Trump invited the cameras into the Oval Off ice during his meeting with Pelosi and Schumer. Not so much because of the eerie delight in seeing the tables turned against him in what devolved into a shocking, unnerving and maybe even (continued on page 24)

Standing Up for Our Taxpayers dreds of millions of dollars in bribes, thereby pitting cities against each other while allowing teams to relocate.

ing San Francisco’s Getting to Zero initiative to eradicate new HIV infections, I was inspired to f ight for additional state funds to help existing programs achieve their goal. The $7 million I secured for PrEP and PEP and other services is a great example of onetime spending from the current state budget that will have long-lasting community benefits. This Blueprint also lays out plans for pursuing long-term goals, such as creating more affordable housing, preventing homelessness, expanding early education and after school programs, providing universal access to healthcare and stopping the cycle of incarceration through employment and education programs for those leaving prison. In the nearer term, we will make government work better for you by continuing to reduce DMV wait times. I am proud to announce that average wait times have already dropped about 90 minutes over the last three months, and we will continue to work toward greater efficiencies.

Even if he does not like what is said about him, our president should be the first defender of the freedom of the press as enshrined in our Constitution, but he instead has used his bully pulpit to decry the press and media as “fake” and the “enemy of the people,” like any good dictator might. He pushes on to weaken and cast aspersion and doubt against all institutions of government, including the auspices of the Department of Justice under which he is being investigated. His fight against the press remains a fight against the reveal of truth—damaging truths and facts that will eventually lead to his demise. I’m not talking impeachment. I’m talking about the demise of his deepest truth: that he is, in fact, not omnipotent.

Out of the Closet and into City Hall Oakland City Councilmember At-Large, Rebecca Kaplan For some time now, we have seen cities being pitted against each other, to give away their treasure for the promise of corporate presence in their communities. Most recently, Amazon put cities into this feeding frenzy for the pleasure of having a corporate center or warehouse in their community. After getting many locations to put in a huge amount of work and offering vast sums of money, Amazon declared that multiple locations, including New York, had “won.”

As I work to draft the Assembly’s budget plan, I welcome your input. I am holding a town hall meeting on Thursday, January 10, from 6 pm– 7:30 pm at the Doelger Senior Center in Daly City. Please come by!

But these giveaways do not bring real victory to communities. They generally do not provide jobs to local residents who need them, and the amount of money that the companies take exceeds any benefit to the public, since companies get sweetheart tax deals while vital public services go underfunded.

Phil Ting represents the 19th Assembly District, which includes the Westside of San Francisco along with the communities of Broadmoor, Colma and Daly City.

In Oakland we have been facing an issue similar to the national Amazon HQ mess, as the NFL—a group of billionaires—has been pushing to receive huge amounts of public money, and is having teams pay them hun-

In deciding to move the Oakland Raiders to Las Vegas, the NFL did not conduct a full and fair evaluation or decision-making process, but they did take hundreds of millions of dollars to allow for the relocation. They seek to make the taxpayers of Oakland fight against those of Las Vegas, as these billionaires try to squeeze out as much money as they can to line their own pockets, all while violating their own bylaws and violating antitrust laws. That is part of why I have been urging that we fight for the needs of our community and protection of taxpayers. I am pleased that we recently filed an antitrust lawsuit against the NFL, for their misconduct in the Raiders relocation. We are working with the Oakland City Attorneys, and the law firms of Berg & Androphy and Pearson, Simon & Warshaw, LLP, both of whom employ nationally recognized antitrust lawyers working on a contingency basis, so the public will not have to pay any money up front to launch the case, and the attorney fees and costs will be paid solely from any recovery. This means they only get paid if they win. The city will be seeking financial compensation allowable in order to protect the interests of Oakland taxpayers. The NFL relocation payment scheme is an improper bribe, which the NFL receives for allowing relocations, and to pit cities against each other. This is a wrongful system, and the NFL should not be allowed to keep those bribes. I’m thrilled that we are taking action on this as I have advocated, and I look forward to a positive resolution for Oakland and for all of our communities. Councilmember At-Large Rebecca Kaplan was elected in 2008 to serve as Oakland’s citywide Councilmember; she was re-elected in 2016. She also serves on the Alameda County Transportation Commission (ACTC). Follow Councilmember Kaplan on Twitter @Kaplan4Oakland ( https://twitter.com/ Kaplan4Oakland ) and Facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/Kaplan4Oakland/ ).

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DEC EM BER 20, 2018

Photos by JBJ Pictures and Chloe Jackman Photography

Marcum Women’s Forum 2018

Miller established that inf luential LGBT Group in 2012, a full year before the historic overturning of the

Miller described her participation in the Marcum Women’s Forum as being her “final act” with the firm. The annual event is geared towards women professionals, and it provides a safe environment for women to share experiences and to support each other in their personal and professional pursuits.

Chelsea Clinton with Marcum’s Nanette Lee Miller (right) and Rorrie Gregorio (left)

Susan Jit, Elizabeth Doradea and Nanette Lee Miller

The Women’s Forum is presented by the Marcum Women’s Initiative, which is dedicated to enhancing career opportunities for women at the firm, through national and local programs and activities that motivate, support and encourage forward thinking. For more information: http://www.marcumllp.com/

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN

Convener of the event was longtime “Betty’s List” and San Francisco Bay Times friend and adviser Nanette Lee Miller, who recently announced her retirement from Marcum. Miller has been a partner at the firm, being part of Marcum’s Assurance Services Group in the San Francisco office. She was the California Healthcare Practice Leader and also the Founder and Co-leader of the Modern Family & LGBT Services Practice Group.

Defense of Marriage Act by the U.S. Supreme Court. Her astute recognition of the complex and distinct tax and estate planning needs of the LGBT community established Marcum as the national thought leader in this specialty area.

PHOTO BY CHLOE JACKMAN

The second annual Marcum Women’s Forum—Strength. Health. Inf luence.—was held on December 6 at the Ritz-Carlton San Francisco. This year’s lineup included nationally prominent speakers such as Chelsea Clinton, Vice Chair of the Clinton Foundation; Jeanne Rizzo of the Breast Cancer Prevention Partners; Claudia Fan Munce, Venture Advisor; and Julie Abrams, CEO of How Women Lead.

Claudia Fan Munce and Julie Abrams

Marsha Gilbert, Paul Sherman (Partner, Marcum), Nanette Lee Miller (Partner, Marcum), Rorrie Gregorio (Partner, Marcum), Julie Abrams (CEO, How Women Lead), Chelsea Clinton, Jeanne Rizzo of Breast Cancer Prevention Partners

Mayor Breed Signs Legislation Making the Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band ‘The Official Band of San Francisco’

The moment marked Super visor Mandelman’s first legislation signed into law and his first signing ceremony as a member of the Board of Supervisors. “The arts, in particular, have played such an important role for the LGBT community and the broader San Francisco community in getting us through the tragedies of the last 40 years and getting us to the triumphs and to a better place,” Supervisor Mandelman said. 4

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He thanked Tom Temprano from his team, as well as former State Assemblyman and San Francisco Supervisor Tom Ammiano, who 20 years ago declared that the SFLGFB was the city’s official band, albeit without the formal legislation. A similar moment was repeated by the Board of Supervisors 5 years later. As a result, Mayor Breed several times joked that the unofficially official band of San Francisco is now officially official! Mayor Breed also shared that one of her f irst visits to City Hall was with her 8th grade band at Benjamin Franklin Middle School. She held aloft the French horn that belonged to SFLGFB founder Jon Reed Sims (1947–1984), as she was also a French horn player. For a moment, it even seemed that she might play a few notes, but the program continued. State Senator Scott Wiener, who also spoke during the ceremony, mentioned that in the 4th grade he desired to play the clarinet, but the school ran DE C E MB E R 2 0 , 2 0 1 8

out of the instruments so he wound up playing trumpet—until he got braces. “I tried really hard,” he said, before mentioning how important SFLGFB is to him and to the city. SFLGFB President Doug Litwin was additionally at the podium. He mentioned that the ceremony marked “the most exciting day in the Band’s history,” following efforts made by “3 mayors and more than a few supervisors” over the decades. Nevertheless, he added, SFLGFB will always be tied to Supervisor Mandelman and his work in making the legislation a reality. The Band then played rousing versions of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco,” followed by “San Francisco (Open Your Golden Gate).” Turning to the SFLGFB members, Mayor Breed happily instructed: “(You must) work harder than you’ve ever worked before,” since they will be needed at many city events in the months and years to come.

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On December 18, in what had to be one of the most festive, uplifting and enjoyable signing ceremonies ever held at City Hall, Mayor London Breed signed into law legislation declaring that the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band (SFLGFB) is now “the official band of San Francisco.” Former San Francisco Bay Times columnist, Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, stood beside Mayor Breed since he authored the legislation and has long championed the Band.

Mayor London Breed, on December 18 at City Hall, signed legislation declaring the SF Lesbian/ Gay Freedom Band to be the official band of San Francisco. The French horn of Band founder Jon Reed Sims (1947–1984) was placed on the table in recognition of his life and legacy.

All of us at the San Francisco Bay Times congratulate the Band on this tremendous honor. We are proud that the Bay Times and the SFLGFB share anniversaries, since both were founded in what proved to be a landmark year for the LGBTQ community—1978. We

join forces each year for a holiday party. (See page 6.) For more information about the SFLGFB: http://sflgfb.townalive.com

San Francisco Bay Times & SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band BAY TIMES Holiday Party and 40th Anniversary Celebration Photos by JP Lor and Paul Margolis S

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

Tom Taylor and Jerry Goldstein’s famous “Christmas Tree House” on 21st Street was the location for this year’s annual holiday party for the San Francisco Bay Times and the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band (SFLGFB). The event for 2018 was extra special, given that it is the 40th anniversary for both the paper and the Band. De’Anthony Jones, representing Mayor London Breed, and Supervisor Rafael Mandelman also announced that the SFLGFB is “the official band of San Francisco.” (See the cover and page 4 of this issue for more on that honor.) Emcee Donna Sachet opened the program with a sublime rendition of “Just in Time for Christmas.” Legendary singer and activist Holly Near performed her powerful anthem “Singing for Our Lives,” which she composed in 1978 upon hearing of the assassinations of Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor George Moscone. She led guests in a sing-along. A trailer for the upcoming American Masters documentary about her was also shown. American male soprano David Korn performed two lovely pieces—and off mic, demonstrating his vocal prowess. Sachet also sang beautifully, and backed by the Holiday Ensemble of the SFLGFB sang “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” Sponsors and contributors to the evening were NAPA Cellars Wines, Mondavi Wines, The Grubstake, The Boombox Studio, Catch, La Mediterranee Castro, Destino and Extreme Pizza.

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GGBA BOARD

GGBA’s Talented Board, Including New President Audry deLucia

GGBA’s Board of Directors includes some of the Bay Area’s most successful LGBTQ business owners. This is certainly true of the association’s new President, Audry deLucia. With Fran Herman, deLucia runs ellaprint, a full-service award and commercial printing manufacturer. They make a big impact with a small carbon footprint by using recycled, reusable, sustainable media and materials in their fabrication and daily operations. http://ellaprint.com/

GGBA FOUNDATION

GGBA CERTIFICATION

Paul Pendergast is GGBA’s Past President and Chair of Public Policy. For years he has run the namesake Pendergast Consulting Group, which offers strategic communications, project management and creative services. http://www.pendergastconsultinggroup.com/

San Francisco Bay Times congratulates GGBA Immediate Past President Dawn Ackerman on successfully growing and leading the association during her term. Ackerman is the Co-founder of OutSmart Office Solutions and has over 15 years of experience in helping companies to find smart solutions to start, move and grow. http://www.outsmartofficesolutions.com

Founded in 2017, the GGBA Foundation is a 501c3 non-profit organization dedicated to promoting diversity by funding educational opportunities for the LGBT and allied business community of San Francisco and the Bay Area.

rate supplier diversity programs, increasing opportunities across multiple industries for LGBT businesses to win contracts. In return, our community will be enriched by the economic impact of these companies and the jobs created by their growth.

The mission of the GGBA Foundation is to create scholarships and resources that assist LGBT and allied businesses to achieve sustainable business development, further professional growth and create leadership structures that strengthen their businesses.

Additionally, these business leaders will be advocates for LGBT business inclusion and economic equality for all diverse communities and will provide mentorship and other resources to empower the next generation of LGBTQA entrepreneurs.

Continued education will support capacity building for LGBT businesses to meet the requirements of corpo-

https://www.ggbafoundation.org/

New Certification! Coming in January 2019 Effective January 1, 2019, the Office of Small Business and DVBE Services (OSDS) will administer a new type of certification for small businesses for the purpose of Public Works (SB-PW) opportunities. The new form of certification was created by Senate Bill 605 (Chapter 673, Statute of 2017), passed in October 2017. This certification type is solely for the purpose of Public Works contracts and/or projects. SB-PW expands the opportunities for small businesses to compete in the public works

arena. Concerning this certification, public works is defined as in Public Contract Code 1101: An agreement for the erection, construction, alteration, repair, or improvement of any public structure, building, road, or other public improvement of any kind. For additional information, including eligibility requirements: https://bit.ly/2EBQZKm

GGBA CALENDAR

GGBA January Make Contact, January 8

Membership Has Its Benefits! The Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) is the world’s first LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce, and is now one of 65 around the globe advocating for positive economic, social and political change for LGBTQ businesses to prosper, create jobs and to have economic equality. Our mission is to champion opportunity, development and advocacy for our LGBTQ & Allied business community. We empower our small business entrepreneurs and professionals by creating opportunities for marketing, networking, procurement and referral-based business growth. We also collaborate with other non-profits and engage with business and civic leaders to support policies that foster a more inclusive and welcoming business community, thus creating greater opportunities for our member businesses. If you are an LGBTQ or Allied business person looking for a place to make sincere connections that can lead to greater success and a sense of community, the GGBA is the place for you. We encourage you to visit our next event to see for yourself. See GGBA online ( https://ggba.com/ ) for more details.

GGBA January Make Contact January 8, 5:30 pm–7:30 pm Room of the Dons at The InterContinental Mark Hopkins Hotel 999 California Street, San Francisco GGBA Members: Complimentary, Non-Members: $25 http://business.ggba.com/events/details/ggbapresents-a-remarkable-public-affair-honoring-jimlazarus-2470 GGBA 5th Annual Power Lunch Power Lunch V: Bridges Feb 1, 11 am–2 pm Power Lunch V - Bridges will celebrate GGBA’s commitment to building bridges across economic, geographic, cultural and inter-community boundaries throughout the last 44 years. As the world’s first LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce, GGBA, through Power Lunch V: Bridges, will showcase several extraordinary people who personify our community’s ability to expand opportunities, build collaborations, strengthen existing relationships and forge new and forwardthinking initiatives that lead to sustainable economic growth for our community and our businesses. See website for sponsorship and registration details. https://www.ggbapowerlunch-v.com/

Western Business Alliance Annual LGBT Economic Summit & Conference March 14–16, Los Angeles—Hosted by the LAGLCC This year’s conference will focus attention on issues facing our business community and the LGBT community at large, including creating influence, working with the LGBT community, LGBT homelessness and housing, social and corporate responsibility, marketing to millennials, transgender entrepreneurship and freelance opportunities, and access to capital for LGBT businesses. See website for registration details. https://www.wbasummit2019.com/

GGBA February Make Contact February 12, 6 pm–8 pm GGBA Members: Complimentary, Non-Members: $25 Location to be announced

Stand Up Speak Out Series GGBA is proud to present “Stand Up. Speak Out!” This workshop series is designed to teach entrepreneurs, business professionals and community leaders to become more confident speakers and more effective communicators. Stand Up and Speak Out: The Importance of Storytelling in Business January 20, 3:15 pm–4:45 pm Stand Up and Speak Out: Managing Up vs Managing Down February 6, 7:30 am–8:45 am & February 20, 3:15 pm–4:45 pm Stand Up and Speak Out: Do’s & Don’ts of the Media Interview March 6, 7:30 am–8:45 am & March 20, 3:15 pm–4:45 pm The series is free to all GGBA Members, Partners and their staff. Non-GGBA members can attend two meetings for free as a guest of the GGBA.

GGBA March Make Contact March 12, 6 pm–8 pm GGBA Members: Complimentary, Non-Members: $25.00 Location to be announced

For more information about these and all other GGBA events, please visit https://ggba.com/

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DEC EM BER 20, 2018

Planning for California’s Longevity Wave

Aging in Community Dr. Marcy Adelman California is at an inf lection point to ensure the health and well-being of the state’s rapidly expanding senior population. California is home to one of the largest, fastest growing and most diverse senior populations in the country. By 2030, the state’s older adult population is projected to double. By 2050, 1 in 4 Californians will be age 60 and older. This longevity wave of California older adults will need policies and programs responsive to its needs and aspirations. Governor-elect Gavin Newsom has called for a master plan for aging to prepare for the rapid population growth of California’s older adults. Here are some of the issues that need to be addressed.

California’s older adult population will not only be larger, but it will also be older, have fewer f inancial and family resources, be more diverse and more invested in staying socially and civically engaged than previous generations. The Public Policy Institute of California (PPIC) estimates that the fastest population growth will take place in people age 75 and older and with a higher percentage of never married and/or divorced elders who are single, live alone and are childless. LGB older adults are signif icantly more likely to live alone than heterosexuals. Older adults with limited family support systems will likely rely more on professional in-home care and community-based services to assist them to stay in their homes for as long and as well as possible. We can also expect an increase in the number of people who will need a higher level of care, such as nursing facilities, assisted living and dementia care. Currently, there is a statewide shortage of nursing and dementia care facilities, and in-home care is too expensive for many Californians. More nursing facilities need to be developed and in-home services will need to be more broadly available and affordable. But more services and facilities alone will not be enough to best serve a 75 or 85-year-old who lives alone

and does not have the support of a spouse or an adult child. More often than not, when someone reaches out for services, they are already in some kind of crisis. Navigating the continuum of senior care services can be a daunting task even when there is a family member there to help. The long-term care system of senior services—affordable senior housing, community programs, adult day programs, in-home services, assisted living, dementia care and nursing facilities—needs to be more accessible, coordinated and affordable. California is now faced with a shortage of doctors, nurses and mental health professionals who are trained in geriatric care. The most acute workforce shortage concerns the demand for physician’s assistants, medical assistants and home health aides. The PPIC recommends that the state’s workforce gap can best be addressed through the community college system with increased access and funding. Latinos and Asians are the fastest growing elder communities in California. By 2030, Latinos will comprise 26 percent of the senior California population and the Asian population will have grown to 16 percent. The state’s LGB population over the age of 50 is estimated at 431,800 older adults or 3.5% of Californians age 50 and older. (There is little data on California’s transgender older adult population.) The California Department of Aging predicts that by 2030, the number of LGBT older adults will double. Mandated cultural competency training and a more Spanish and Chinese speaking workforce will provide better care for

California’s richly diverse older adult population.

the health spiral that typically accompanies housing insecurity.

Communities of color and LGBTQI seniors have long histories of being marginalized and underserved. Longstanding health and socio-economic disparities will need to be addressed and investment made in reducing barriers to care and services. For example, investment in a more diverse workforce of senior-serving professionals that ref lects the people served would create a more welcoming environment and greater confidence that diverse seniors will be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Urban cities, as well as suburban and rural California communities, should be encouraged to have age-friendly programs and policies that empower older adults to continue to thrive and contribute to civic life. Investment in senior-centric community programs that esteem older adults and encourage and support elder engagement strengthen the bonds of community and enhance all of our lives. Policies that are age-friendly make transportation more dependable and affordable, make streets and neighborhoods safer and improve access to public buildings for people of all ages and abilities.

California leads the nation in the percentage of older adults living in poverty. Currently, 21 percent of Californians age 65 and older are living at the federal poverty level, and the majority of those living with substandard income levels are women. The percentage of older adults living in poverty increases to 40 percent when income level is based on actual regional variations in cost of living, according to the California Elder Economic Security Index. When the price of a food item increases, people stop buying it. When electricity prices increase, people reduce their usage. But when housing costs increase, they are not just by a dollar or two. Older adults may delay going to a doctor or stop buying their medicine and/or cut back on their food bill to make ends meet. More affordable housing and rent subsidies would provide a critical safety net for those challenged by poverty, or at risk for poverty and homelessness, and avoid

These are just some of the issues facing California’s long-lived older adults. A comprehensive master plan for California’s longevity wave should have direct input from all of the diverse communities that will be served—Latino, Asian, African American, Native American, the disability community and LGBTQI. Governor-elect Newsom has the opportunity to develop the most diverse age-friendly state in the nation. Dr. Marcy Adelman, Co-founder of the nonprofit Openhouse, oversees the Aging in Community column. She is a psychologist and LGBTQI longevity advocate and policy advisor. She serves on the California Commission on Aging, the Board of the Alzheimer’s Association of Northern California and Northern Nevada and the San Francisco Dignity Fund Oversight and Advisory Committee.

Alegre Home Care is proud to support Dr. Marcy Adelman’s Aging in Community column in the San Francisco Bay Times.

NCLR Begins New Chapter After Kate Kendell’s Decades of Leadership Cindy Myers, a senior executive and organizational development specialist, on December 3 became Interim Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), taking over the helm of the organization following the departure of Kate Kendell, Esq. In a letter to NCLR supporters, Kendell wrote: “Cindy became acquainted with NCLR more than 35 years ago when she first moved to California from Washington state. She has donated to NCLR, attended annual galas, and most importantly—she is a serious, seasoned expert on nonprofit

administration. She loves being the invisible force at an organization, ‘tinkering under the hood’ to ensure that it grows and thrives.”

Cindy Myers, PhD

Kendell added, “She takes her work seriously—but not herself. And I could not be happier to pass the baton to someone who will bring her sense of humor, passion, and skills to our team. She loves who we are. And she’s committed to keeping our place at the forefront of the fight for LGBTQ equality.” Myers commented, “This may be the most signif icant thing I will have done in my professional life because of the impact NCLR has had on the world.”

Kate Kendell, Esq

All of us here at the San Francisco Bay Times congratulate both talented women. Kendell’s work at NCLR over the past 24 years has been truly astounding and unprecedented. See our May 17 issue https://bit.ly/2STZR10 for more about Kendell’s many achievements. We look forward to following her projects in years to come. Myers, in turn, is the Principal Consultant of The Myers Executive Group, which offers organizational and management consultation as well as contract staff for government, nonprofit and business clients. From June 2018 until her position with NCLR, Myers served as Interim Executive Director of the nonprofit At the Crossroads, which provides outreach and counseling services for homeless youth in San Francisco.

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The 12 Gays (and Lesbians) of Christmas

Faces from Our LGBT Past Dr. Bill Lipsky This year, in addition to singing of partridges in pear trees, geese a-laying and maids a-milking, gifts apparently once given between Christmas Day and the advent of the Magi, let us also celebrate 12 glorious members of our LGBT communities born between December 25 and January 5. Happy holidays to all! December 25: Quentin Crisp (1908–1999) English writer, raconteur and gay icon Cr i s p del ighted in celebrating himself, his highly individual views and eyecatching appearance, so who are we not also to rejoice in them? Possibly the most flamboyant raconteur since Oscar Wilde, he wrote numerous books, including The Naked Civil Servant, and presented his theatre-filling one-man stage show to great acclaim for more than 20 years in Europe and the U.S. “I became,” he remarked, “one of the stately homos of England.” December 26: Thomas Gray (1716–1771) English poet

motion picture history, F. W. Murnau filmed Sunrise, “a perfect example of German cinema,” at Western Avenue and Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. Hailed as “a rhapsodic, romantic work” and “the greatest film of the silent era,” it won the first (and only) “Academy Award for Unique and Artistic Picture” of 1927. Sunrise was the crowning work of a career that included Nosferatu—the first filming of Dracula (1922)—and The Last Laugh (1924), a complex drama told entirely without titles. Some claim the automobile accident that led to his death resulted from an ill-timed intimacy with his chauffeur, which distracted the young man from the road during a drive to Santa Barbara. December 29: Elsa Gidlow (1898–1986) Poet, philosopher, humanist Unthinkable now, the first book of openly lesbian love poetry, On A Grey Thread, was not published in the U.S. until 1923. The work of Gidlow, her career in letters began five years earlier, when she was 19, as Co-founder and Contributor to Montreal’s Les Mouches fantastiques, the earliest known LGBT publication in North American history. Gidlow moved to the Bay Area in 1927, where she lived for the rest of her life. Her autobiography, Elsa, I Come with My Songs, which appeared in 1986, was the first lesbian autobiography published with the author’s true name, not a pseudonym, giving a personal and detailed account of seeking, finding and creating a life with other women during an era when such information was virtually impossible to find.

plicity and high fashion without theatricality,” Orry-Kelly went on to create wardrobes for such classics as The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, Now, Voyager and Some Like it Hot, eventually winning three Academy Awards. January 1: E. M. Forster (1879–1970) English novelist, short story writer Although many of E. M. Forster’s novels examined E. M. Forster (left) class difference and Bob Buckingham and the hypocrisy it caused, he remained deeply cautious and deeply closeted in his public life. Written in 1913–14, between Howard’s End and A Passage to India, Maurice—his telling of a romance between Maurice Hall, a stockbroker, and under-gamekeeper Alec Scudder—was not published until 1971, after Forster had been dead for more than a year. Forster was true to his views about hypocrisy and class, but kept his private life private. He is known to have had relationships with men of different backgrounds, including a student from India whom he tutored in Latin, an Egyptian tram conductor, and English policeman Bob Buckingham, whom he met in 1930 and who became his longest-lived intimacy.

December 30: Paul Bowles (1910–1999) American expatriate composer, author and translator

William Haines (top left), Dorothy Arzner (right) and Mardsen Hartley (bottom)

December 27: Marlene Dietrich (1901–1992) Actor, singer, anti-fascist Before Monroe, before Turner and Harlow, there was Dietrich. A “gay icon” from the beginning of her Hollywood career, she used her blessed androgyny to undermine conventional gender norms rather than to reinforce them, showing femininity and masculinity as assumed roles. During the 1930s, she was considered to be Greta Garbo’s greatest screen rival. Firmly anti-fascist, she helped to create a fund in the late 1930s to assist Jews and dissidents in escaping from Germany, donating her entire $450,000 salary (about $7,600,000 today) for Knight Without Armor (1937). In 1939, she renounced her German citizenship and became an American citizen. During World War II, she performed for Allied troops on three continents, receiving the Medal of Freedom in 1947. December 28: F. W. Murnau (1888–1931) German-American film director One of the greatest directors in

January 2: William Haines (1900–1973) American film actor and interior designer January 3: Dorothy Arzner (1897–1979) American film director

December 31: Orry-Kelly (1897–1964) Costume designer Born in Australia in 1897, Orry-Kelly moved to New York in 1921. There, he shared a Greenwich loft with a young vaudeville acrobat named Archie Leach and the female impersonator Charlie Spangles. Hoping to become an actor, but unable to find much work on the stage, he painted murals and backdrops for nightclubs and speakeasies, and then began designing sets and costumes for the theater. It was his former roommate Leach who got Orry-Kelly his big break in Hollywood. Working under the name Cary Grant, Leach helped his sometimes intimate friend to find a job at Warner Bros. Known for “utter sim-

January 4: Mardsen Hartley (1877–1943) Modernist painter, poet and essayist January 5: Alvin Ailey (1931–1989) Dancer, choreographer and visionary The Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater remains one of our nation’s most respected and influential organizations for the arts. The Alvin Ailey dancers will be performing in April at Zellerbach Hall in Berkeley, keeping their remarkable namesake’s legacy alive for current and future generations. For more information: https://bit.ly/2QZmsf7 Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors. S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018

Letting Go in 2019 to do. The process begins with a period of self-reflection during which you identify habits, thoughts or behaviors that stand between you and fulfillment or happiness, and then you form an intention to let go of these habits in the new year.

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

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Here are a few examples of habits or thoughts that others have put on their “let go” lists:

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The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions is ancient: it can be traced all the way back to the Babylonians. I think it has survived because it can be a very helpful practice. It seems to work best when the resolutions involve concrete and measurable goals—such as “lose a pound per week,” rather than just “lose weight”—and specific actions to achieve the goals, like “ join Weight Watchers” rather than just “diet.”

• perfectionism (or the idea that you have only two options: total success or complete failure); • nursing grudges (holding onto grudges is a little like trying to run a marathon while carrying a bowling ball; forgiveness is like putting the ball down); • guilt and anger over the past; • worrying what others think of you; • fear of failure; • f ighting with things you can’t change; • fear of the unknown; • the need to always be in control; • the idea that it’s your responsibility to make everyone around you happy.

But there’s an interesting variation on this custom that isn’t about resolving to do this or that, but which focuses instead on letting go. In this version, you commit to what you’re not going

If jealousy or envy are creating suffering in your life, then maybe you need to let go of the “comparing mind.” If you are feeling intense envy for someone, you might try this thought exper-

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT

iment: Bring the person to mind and tell them, “I’m not inferior to you. I’m not superior to you. I’m not equal to you.” In examining your relationships, you might choose to commit to letting go of those connections that no longer bring any value to your life. Maybe there are people, for instance, who don’t put any time or effort into their connection with you. Letting go of them doesn’t have to involve making a dramatic announcement. Instead, you can just let go of the energy that you spend on them that never gets returned. You can come to acceptance of the fact that you can still love them while also letting them go, in order to make room for the friends who are actively involved with you. One of the ways we disempower ourselves and turn our relationships into victimizing experiences is to believe ideas like, “You have to change in order for me to be happy.” If you’re in a relationship in which you believe that idea, ask yourself who you’d be if you let go of it. What might change in your life if you didn’t assume that your happiness was dependent on what your partner did or didn’t do? Once you have a list of habits that you want to let go of—keep it short!—

the next step is to write each of them out in the form: “In the coming year, I resolve to let go of—.” Keep your resolutions in a place where you can see them frequently. Letting go is a process and not a single action; any deeply ingrained habit will tend to resurface. When that happens, avoid any temptation to self-denigration. This is a process of training yourself to be patient with yourself. When an old habit arises, the idea is to relate to it, not from it. In other words, instead of letting it drive you, just note that it’s present, but don’t fight it. Then, incline your mind in a different direction by saying to yourself something like, “Here’s my old friend (perfectionism, envy, etc.). I now let you go, and I focus my attention on (the opposite, i.e. acceptance of imperfection, non-comparing, etc.).” The process of change is usually slow, but each time you let go of something, it’s like dropping a single drop of water into a bucket. In time, the bucket fills up. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http://tommoon.net/

Poet-In-Residence

Carla Ramos

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

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CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Scott Tsui, Tom Temprano, Lou Fischer, Frankie Bashan, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews, Karen E. Bardsley Photographers Rink, Phyllis Costa, Jane Higgins Paul Margolis, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg, Morgan Shidler, JP Lor ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards http://sfbaytimes.com/ or 415-503-1375 Custom ad sizes are available. Ads are reviewed by the publishers. National Advertising: Contact Bay Times / San Francisco. Represented by Rivendell Media: 908-232-2021 Circulation is verified by an independent agency Reprints by permission only.

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “Dear Santa: All I want for Christmas is Impeachment. And removal. And jail for all of the scoundrels! Please, Santa please!” Have you noticed that those lovely bows on the Market Street palms look extra-smart this year? That’s after the trees’ recent trimming and cleanup of old fronds, thanks to our District 8 Supervisor Rafael Mandelman and his aide, Tom Temprano! Held on the eve of WORLD AIDS DAY, November 30, LIGHT IN THE GROVE is always an annual festive fundraiser for the NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE in the actual Grove. Working our way through the woods, carrying our candles, we enjoyed live musical perform-

Event co-chairs Pat Christen & Eric Ciasullo spoke of the many people who do not know their HIV status and the many who are not properly cared for. They introduced Rick Pesano, MD, PhD, of QUEST DIAGNOSTICS, who took us back to the early 80s and the growing AIDS epidemic that was called GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency) back then, and how we have since progressed. But not enough. AIDS is far from over, he said. Or as Senator Scott Wiener said, “HIV is still an epidemic, and we must con-

tinue our work to get to zero: zero new HIV infections, zero HIV-related deaths, and zero HIV stigma.” This year’s Lifetime of Commitment Honoree was longtime AIDS activist and outgoing Board Chair, Michael Shriver. Mike has been deeply involved in HIV/ AIDS advocacy, activism, Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana) with Kit’n Kitty’s Queer program development, orga- Pop Quiz contributor Karin Lee Jaffie (left) wth her spouse nizational development and Lori Howes at the San Francisco Bay Times & SF Lesbian/ public policy efforts at the lo- Gay Freedom Band Holiday Party on Saturday, December 15, at the famous Tom & Jerry House cal, statewide, national and National AIDS Memorial aligns the international levels for more mission of both organizations to nevthan 30 years. I knew him back in er forget the millions of lives lost to the very beginning of the epidemHIV/AIDS, to tell the story of AIDS ic when we marched and protested and to help inspire future generations and insisted that the nation acknowlto always remember and be voices of edge this horrid disease. He is now a hope. Cunningham reminded every32-year HIV survivor. “You are everything to me!” he shouted to the au- one of the World AIDS Day VOICES OF HOPE ceremony the next dience, and gave us the inspiring hisday at noon in the tent, featuring the tory of his path to today. John B. SF Gay Men’s Chorus, singer ParCunningham, executive director of ris Lane, more tributes and awards, National AIDS Memorial, also laudand the reading of names. On World ed praise to Shriver and announced AIDS Day, a new Latinx AIDS methat the HIV Story Project, a nonmorial boulder was inaugurated by profit organization focused on bridgEL GRUPO. ing HIV/AIDS with film, media, and storytelling to fight the pandemic and the global stigma associated with it, will merge with the National AIDS Memorial. Bringing storytelling resources and programs to the

Randy Coleman hails from New York, but has lived in San Francisco since 1975. Coleman shares that before moving to the Bay Area, he studied Art History and Architecture at Boston University while working as a resident artist for architectural rendering at a Massachusetts historical society. “All of my life I’ve been an artist,” Coleman says. “To know me is to know that I have a passion for art and architecture. I love this project for the San Francisco Bay Times, and hope that you enjoy my sketches.”

ers and modern dancers beautifully interpreting the music. We guests experienced a moving candlelight reflection at the Circle of Friends (“the Heart of the Memorial”) where we laid down our candles next to inscribed names of loved ones who had passed from AIDS. We then walked through the spectacularly-illuminated Redwood Grove into a warmlylit banquet tent. Inside, we enjoyed cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, and a buffet dinner with special entertainment by Josh Klipp & the Klipptones giving us everything from Bossa Nova to jazz to golden oldies. Flashed on video screens throughout the venue were appropriate thoughts and tributes. Bishop Yvette Flunder took the podium to sing a cappella “The Healing Balm of Gilead is Love.”

SF Sketch Randy Coleman

Sister Dana sez, “For those of you (and me, for sure) who hate even saying the word ‘Trump,’ now, thanks to the Mueller Investigation, we can call him ‘Individual One’!” The escalator at MUNI’s Church Street Station between outbound track-and-fare gates levels is closed for renovations until about March–April 2019. Meanwhile, use stairs or the elevator. We’re fairly sure the escalator’s popular Rainbow LED Lights will return when work’s done. This year’s WORLD TREE OF HOPE presented by RAINBOW WORLD FUND is displayed at Grace Cathedral. The World Tree of Hope is the largest origami holiday tree in the world, standing 23 feet tall and decorated with over 17,000 origami cranes and stars, each containing written wishes of hope and peace from children and individuals from around the world. Since 2006, RWF has presented the Tree as a symbol of global unity and hope, to promote peace, love and humanitarian action. The public enjoyed the 13th Annual RWF World Tree of Hope TREE LIGHTING CELEBRATION on (continued on page 25)

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PHOTO BY JP LOR

J.H. Herren Technology Director

2018 Year in Review News Quiz By Ann Rostow Our year-end tradition continues! It’s fun to end things with the annual news quiz, but it sadly requires us to slide past some of the most recent news of the last week, which would otherwise become grist for our mill. For example, I was going to consider whether or not Mika Brzezinski has been unfairly slammed for calling Mike Pompeo a “wannabe dictator’s butt boy” for parroting Trump administration talking points about the murder of Jamal Khashoggi. Why is this an anti-gay slur? Inappropriately crude, perhaps, but just because it evokes a homosexual image rather than a similarly pejorative straight one doesn’t mean it’s anti-gay in my book. It’s anti-Mike Pompeo, which is fine by me. I was also looking forward to discussing the Hawaiian monk seals that have started getting eels stuck up their noses. Why is this happening and how can we help them? Sadly, we can’t stop to consider this dilemma. Today, we will look, not to the future, but will instead cast our eyes to the rear-view mirror. Bonne chance, mes amis! Question One: Which of the following characters featured during our 2018 columns is not a living creature? a) Marlon Bundo b) Daniel Turdunken Stinkerbutt c) Knickers d) Sully e) Lord Tod Wadley f) Magic Question Two: Justice Kennedy’s opinion in Masterpiece Cakeshop ... a) sidestepped the main issue by ruling that baker Jack Phillips was not treated fairly by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission; b) said that sincere religious convictions allow business owners to avoid antidiscrimination laws if other businesses provide the same services; c) claimed that making a wedding cake is a protected form of speech under the First Amendment; d) was vague to the point of uselessness.

d) They were all arrested for public indecency after being caught having sex and drinking in the changing room of a Manhattan department store. Question Six: Why did we cover the case of the bikini baristas in Everett, Washington, who successfully challenged a city dress code that targeted their costumes, or lack thereof? a) The City Councilman leading the charge was later caught trolling for young guys on Grindr. b) The judge who ruled in their favor was presiding over one of the transgender troop lawsuits. c) The two lead plaintiffs held a lesbian wedding at the coffee bar, attended by several hundred guests. d) Several of the women were arrested after they deliberately dropped their tops in protest, a newsworthy gesture. Question Seven: Crowdfunding raised six figures to help ... a) Seth Owen, a Georgetown student abandoned by his parents after coming out; b) Etta Ng, the teenaged daughter of Jackie Chan who found herself broke and living in Canada with a 30-something female “social media influencer” whom she later married; c) Emily Scheck, a lesbian student athlete who nearly lost NCAA eligibility after her parents disowned her; d) “Maddie,” a middle school trans girl from Oklahoma who was bullied by parents on the internet; e) Cross Coburn, a Texas city councilman who lost his seat in a recall after his Grindr penis pix went public; f ) two gay penguins in Denmark that stole a chick and were evicted from their zoo. Question Eight: Trumpian immigration bureaucrats have ... a) denied Green Cards to the children of binational couples; b) denied status to the legal spouses of American citizens based on minor infractions from long ago; c) ended G-4 visas to the same-sex partners of foreign diplomats;

Question Three: Which of the following Millennial antics is most hazardous to your health?

d) placed a Honduran transwoman seeking asylum in a men’s facility only to let her die of abusive injuries and lack of prompt medical attention;

a) the condom challenge

e) all of that and God knows what else.

b) “pee-gasms”

Question Nine: True or False?

c) sex with robots

a) Increasing temperatures have caused green sea turtles in Australia to give birth to females at a rate of 99 percent.

d) the “in my feelings” dance Question Four: A Publix grocery store bakery in South Carolina made headlines for ... a) refusing to make a cake for transwoman, Autumn Scardina, with a pink interior and blue icing;

b) Eagles fans visiting Minneapolis for last year’s Super Bowl accidentally wound up at the EagleBOLTbar, a gay men’s watering hole that they thought was a sports bar for Philly fans.

b) refusing to ice the message “support gay marriage” on a cake;

c) The Pussy Church of Modern Witchcraft lost its bid for tax exempt status after fudging the paperwork.

c) censoring the middle of the Latin expression summa cum laude, because the word “cum” was considered obscene;

d) Apple got in trouble from Russian authorities for a Pride watch feature that lit the screen in rainbow colors.

d) refusing to sell cupcakes to a lesbian who was celebrating her wife’s birthday.

e) In Stafford County, Virginia, a transgirl was forced to spend a school shooter drill alone in a gym, while her classmates hid in the locker room.

Question Five: What do Jocelyn Morffi, Stacey Bailey and Shelly Fitzgerald have in common? a) They all f lipped House seats to the Democrats in districts carried by Trump in 2016. b) They are all plaintiffs in the cases now challenging Trump’s attempt to ban transgender service members. c) They were all fired from school positions for being gay.

f ) “Hotnhairy,” who was looking for bear-on-bear action, was the online name of ex-gay conversion therapist Norman Goldwasser. g) The bachelor on the Vietnamese reality show announced his love for the show’s male producer in a viral video. Question Ten: In 2019, would you rather see: (continued on page 24) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018

9th Annual Drag Queens on Ice

Photos by JP Lor

Having been dubbed “San Francisco’s most fabulous holiday tradition,” the Drag Queens on Ice show returned to Union Square on Thursday, December 6, attracting a sold-out crowd of spectators around the Holiday Ice Rink. Accompanying emcee Donna Sachet was a troupe of the city’s “fiercest drag queens.” They included Paju Munro, Bebe Sweetbriar, Sister Roma, Dusty Porn, Mutha Chucka, Mahlae Balenciaga, Kylie Minono, Tara Lipsyncki and others. They thrilled the crowd with skating, ice dancing, singing, lip-syncing—and all in glittering, eye-catching attire befitting of these forever Queens and the festive season.

World Tree of Hope Lighting Ceremony

Photos by Rink and Paul Margolis

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PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO COURTESY RAINBOW WORLD FUND

Grace Cathedral welcomed the 13th annual Rainbow World Fund (RWF) World Tree of Hope tree lighting ceremony on Monday, December 3. The Celebration of Hope, with emcee Donna Sachet, featured Deputy Consul of Japan Kazuhiro Iryu, Grace Cathedral Dean Rev. Malcolm Young, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, RWF founder Jeff Cotter, Heklina, pianist Tammy Hall, origami artist Linda Mihara and performances by the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco and Lauren Meyer. Visitors to the Cathedral can view the beautiful tree through January 5.

he San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus left no holiday theme behind in its rousing Brassy & Sassy concerts at Nourse Theater! In the excellent company of Jeffrey Doney, we rode a roller coaster of emotions as the chorus delivered polished performances, whimsical “choralography,” hilarious spoofs and old-fashioned Christmas treats to a full house of admirers. Artistic Director Tim Seelig continues to astound with his skillful direction of this historic and seminal musical organization and his amazing connection to his audiences. Any challenges Nourse Theater presented, including bathroom lines, lack of refreshments and spotty climate controls, were quickly forgotten with crowd-pleasing music from nearly 300 voices, brass accompaniment, soprano guest star Marnie Breckenridge, dancer Luke Willis and a convenient chilled flask. Their 2019 41st season looks exciting with The Brits Are Coming at Davies Symphony Hall, March 22, Queens with guest star Billy Porter at Nourse Theater, June 21–22 and the recently opened Artists’ Portal at the AIDS Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park. And don’t forget, you still have three chances to hear SFGMC before the year ends at Home for the Holidays at the Castro Theatre on Christmas Eve at 5, 7, and 9 pm.

“What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.” –Vern McLellan

As loyal readers know, the Richmond/Ermet Aid Foundation is one of our favorite organizations, providing top quality musical performances while raising money for a variety of worthy local groups. So, we couldn’t miss Help is on the Way for the Holidays XVII at Marines’ Memorial Theater, benefiting Project Open Hand and Positive Resource Center. When we arrived on the steady arm of Richard Sablatura, the lobby was teeming with people anxiously bidding on silent auction selections and chatting up a storm. Among them we caught up with Brett Caldwell, Chris Edwards, Larry Horowitz, Patrik Gallineaux, Sky Paterson, Tom Ray, Jen Chan, Linda Lee, Neil Figurelli, Joe Mac, Randy Schiller, Cal Callahan, and Beth Schnitzer. The cast was incredible, including Debby Holiday, Paula West, Sharon McNight, Mikalah Gordon, Jai Rodriguez, Shawn Ryan, Constantine Maroulis, Donna Sachet with Brett Caldwell and Chris Edwards at the Marines Memorial Theatre for the Richmond-Ermet Darius A. Harper, and Maureen McGovern. Aid Foundation (REAF) Help is on the Way for the Holidays XVII on December 10 An amazing dance routine by Caitlin Anderson & Kirill Strakohov and skilled auctioning by Lenny Broberg rounded out the show. At the Clift Hotel’s Redwood Room afterwards, the audience and stars mingled amiably while dining on delectable desserts and bubbly. Next up for REAF, One Night Only: Cabaret Cirque at The Great Northern, 119 Utah Street, Monday, January 28, 7:30 pm, featuring performers from Kinky Boots and various Cirque de Soleil shows. Tickets are already selling fast!

Calendar a/la Sachet

When the Imperial Court, Krewe de Kinque, and Rainbow World Fund get together to raise money, how can they fail? From all reports, last Friday’s We Are One: San Francisco Supports Paradise Fire Survivors at the beautiful home of John Newman brought together a festive and generous crowd, raising over $6000 to help those in need after the most recent fires. Silent auction, raffle tickets and admission charges combined to ensure this success. Attending were Joanie Juster, Blake King, William Bulkley, Michael Daniels, Ken Henderson, Ben Wong, Garaje Gooch, and many others. Additional hosts were Gary Virginia, founder of Krewe de Kinque, Jeff Cotter, founder of Rainbow World Fund, Mr. SF Eagle Manny Ojeda, and the Reigning Emperor of San Francisco Leandro Gonzales and Reigning Empress Pollo del Mar and musical entertainment by Paul Hogart, Breanna Elyce Sinclaire, Emma Peel, Andrew Hirst, Jethro Patalinghug and others enlivened the party. This was San Francisco at its finest! The 40-year-old much beloved San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band is now the official band of the City of San Francisco! After two unanimous votes by the Board of Supervisors, Mayor London Breed signed the appropriate legislation on Tuesday for this historic and significant honor. Founded by the legendary Jon Sims in 1978, the Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band provided a place for instrumentalists to express themselves within the growing Gay movement, rallying the community and inspiring similar groups across the globe. If you attended any of the Dance Along Nutcracker: Clara Potter and the Elder Baton performances in December, caught their Spotlight on Broadway show, enjoyed any of their many free concerts during the year, or simply reveled in the thrill of this marching band at a Pride Parade, Pilgrimage to Colma or other public gathering, then you join me in applauding the band on this well-deserved recognition. Last Saturday, this publication shared a 40th anniversary holiday celebration with the SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band at Tom Taylor & Jerome Goldstein’s sprawling home, elaborately decorated for Christmas and recently featured on ABC’s Light Fights television competition. The cast and crew of the recent Dance Along Nutcracker were on hand, as were Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, De’Anthony Jones representing the Mayor’s Office, amazing Classical soloist David Korn, and ground-breaking civil rights activist and singer Holly Near! (Editor’s note: Donna Sachet deftly hosted the program and sang beautiful versions of “Just in Time for Christmas” and “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” Thank you, Donna!) After sharing a short trailer for the upcoming PBS film about her life, Singing for Our Lives, Holly sang a few verses of that song, encouraging everyone to join in. What a San Francisco moment! Food and drink were plentiful, raffle prizes were distributed and holiday carols rang into the night! As 2018 rapidly comes to a close, we hope you ref lect pleasantly upon your accom-

PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

Sunday, December 23 Sunday’s a Drag: Miracle on Powell Street 10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show The Starlight Room Sir Francis Drake Hotel $75 inclusive https://starlightroomsf.com/sundays-a-drag Sunday, December 23 Jason Brock’s 6th Annual Holiday Show 4 pm Martuni’s 4 Valencia Street $25–$45 https://bit.ly/2QAbVHX Monday, December 24 Home for the Holidays: SF Gay Men’s Chorus 5 pm, 7 pm & 9 pm Castro Theatre $30–$40 https://www.sfgmc.org/

plishments, your friendships and your contributions to the larger community. If regrets attempt to rear their ugly heads, shoo them away; let the past be the past and concentrate on the days ahead. San Francisco undoubtedly faces many frustrating challenges, but we remain its biggest cheerleader, having seen firsthand how much we can do when we join together in our diversity and passion. May your 2019 be full of positive reinforcement, exhilarating experiences and delightful surprises! Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

Donna’s Chronicles

By Donna Sachet

IMES TThrowback AYPhoto BRink S

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Are) a CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018

1978

Round About - All Over Town - Holiday Photos by Rink

Temple Sha’ar Zahav’s Cantor Sharon Bern Jane Warner Plaza on December 5 A daytime view of the Castro Holiday Tree at 18th and Castro Streets shows this year’s rainbow decorations honoring rainbow flag creator Gilbert Baker.

his joyous photo of a beaming Harvey Milk with an equally radiant Carol Channing was taken on January 29, 1978. Channing, in town for her iconic starring role in the musical Hello Dolly, generously took time out of her schedule to appear at the Imperial Council of San Francisco’s coronation, held that year at the San Francisco Hilton.

Daniel Gil and Shawn Matloob at the Hanukkah celebration sponsored by Sha’ar Zahav in Jane Warner Plaza at Market and Castro on December 5

Red ribbons and wreaths adorn the front en San Francisco Fairmont Hotel.

David Lowe paused for the camera while lighting candles on a Menorah at Jane Warner Plaza during Sha’ar Zahav’s annual Hanukkah celebration.

A stylish Santacon fellow was in the spirit on Castro Street.

There were many reasons for celebration. Milk had just taken office, on January 8, as Supervisor of District 5. (The Castro, now in District 8 along with Noe Valley and Glen Park, was seen as part of the Eureka Valley subdistrict of District 5.) Channing, born on January 31, 1921, was celebrating her birthday week in one of her favorite cities. And, of course, the coronation itself is always a festive event. Channing has long supported the LGBT community, and has even been credited as helping to make Fire Island such a gay mecca. Some 30 years after this photo was taken, she was scheduled to judge a Carol Channing look-alike contest in San Francisco at the Theatre Rhinoceros Benefit Gala. She suffered a fall beforehand, however, leading to injuries that sadly prevented her from returning that year. In another such contest in New York, however, Channing snuck in and placed third—behind two drag queens. We are happy to report that Channing will be turning 98 soon! Still more good news is that it is almost time for the annual Imperial Gala in San Francisco. It will take place on January 20 at Encore Karaoke Lounge. For more information: https://bit.ly/2UVi9k8 14

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Fans David McCrory and Andy Chen welco Keith Haring’s sister Kay Haring, author of K The Boy Who Just Kept Drawing. She was guest at a benefit for the SF LGBT Center h December 8. A crowd of Santacon participants lined up at the entrance of McTeague’s Saloon on Polk Street on December 8.

Santacon participants on Polk Street on December 8

Dog Eared Books’ Carly Nairn, event coord Oliver and The Center’s Samuel Gray displ related to Keith Haring at the special event by J.E.M. Productions and the SF LGBT Ce December 8.

Visit to P.O. Plus on Castro Street

Left: P.O. Plus owner Steve Martel (right) with Tramp, a border terrier mix, and his staff in front of the sh at 584 Castro Street. In addition to shipping and mail supplies, P.O. Plus offers a variety of cards and g including our favorite, a model of Sutro Tower.

BAY TIMES S

y Season

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

STREETCAM presented by

nstein (left) with friends at

http://sfbaytimes.com/

The San Francisco Fairmont’s lobby is decked out once again this year for the Holiday Season with a life-size gingerbread house and glistening tree with blue and white ornaments.

dinator Micha layed books sponsored enter on

hop gifts,

The drummer boy nutcracker decorations have returned for another Holiday Season, guarding the entrance to the historic Twin Peaks bar in the Castro.

Black Brothers Esteem’s 22nd Annual Kwanzaa celebration, held at the SF LGBT Center on December 15, featured speakers Tony Bradford, David Williams and Traye Turner.

ntrance of the

omed artist Keith Haring: the featured held on

CASTRO

items of the week Ugly Sweater Patch

San Francisco City Hall on December 15, lit in red and green for the season, formed a colorful backdrop for the ice rink at Civic Center’s Winter Park.

Singer Bernice MacKenzie (right) with Maitri executive director Anne Gimbel at the annual Maitri Holiday Open House on December 15.

A guest displays his copy of the new book about Keith Haring by his sister, Kay Haring, featured at the SF LGBT Center’s benefit on December 8.

San Francisco Community Health Center’s Lance Toma joined philanthropist James Hormel for a photo at the annual Project Open Hand to Hand Luncheon at the Fairmont Hotel on December 15.

Owner Seth Morrison (center) paused for a photo with friends during the Grand Opening of the new Stag and Manor shop on December 6. Seth played Santa’s elf at the recent Castro Street Holiday Tree Lighting event.

Accessorize you favorite sweater for the holidays with these classic LED ugly sweater patches from dci.

Santakini The ultimate white elephant gift!

he stockings are hung in the center aisle with care, in hopes you will buy them and some Santakini underwear. Our Elves have gone loopy, but customer service is their game, so be kind to our Reindeer and we’ll do the same.

A young guest added color to a Keith Haring design on December 8, during the benefit held at the SF LGBT Center.

Holiday lights on trees at Huntington Park on Nob Hill framed an evening view of Grace Cathedral.

As Heard on the Street . . . What is the best thing you’ve ever received in the mail?

compiled by Rink

LaTonya Lawson

Skye Paterson

Lorraine Parker

Paul Schmitt

Beth Schnitzer

“A card from an old classmate on my 50th birthday. It was precious to me.”

“A platinum American Express card”

“A tax return”

“White Castle hamburgers imported from Kentucky before they were sold in the West”

“A Cowgirl Creamery cheese gift basket”

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018

Empress Nicole the Great Honors Harvey Milk and George Moscone Nicole Murray-Ramirez, who is Empress Nicole the Great, The Queen Mother of the Americas within the Imperial Court System, traveled to San Francisco last month for the November 27 Memorial March & Vigil for Harvey Milk and George Moscone. It was the 40th anniversary of their assassinations.

PHOTO COURTESY OF BOBBY CHILDERS

Nicole Murray Ramirez

It rained that night, so the planned speeches were canceled. We would therefore like to share the words of Empress Nicole the Great. As Donna Sachet told the San Francisco Bay Times, “As Queen Mother of the Americas for the International Court Council, she speaks for a large population and this speech is full of wisdom.”

Nicole Murray-Ramirez (center) with Stuart Milk at Harvey Milk Plaza on November 27 for the 40th Anniversary Milk and Moscone Memorial ceremony.

November 27, 2018 San Fra ncisco, Cal ifor nia 40 Yea rs: Remember ing San Fra ncisco Superv isor Ha rvey Mil k & San Fra ncisco Mayor George Moscone Comments from Nicole Murray Ramirez: Good Evening, I bring you gree tings from San Diego. The prou d city where San Francisco Har served in the United States Nav vey Mil k was stat ioned when he y. San Diego is also proud that it is the first city to have named a Lake City, in the state of Utah, street after Har vey Mil k. Salt became the second to do so. Por tland, Oregon, recently became street after Har vey Mil k. the third city to also name a I also bring you greetings from the oldest GL BT organization in Nor th America, the Internat iona with chapters in 70 cities in the l Imperia l Court System, United States, Canada, and Mex ico. Founded here in San Francis Sar ria. co, in 1965 by Empress I José We of The Internat iona l Imperia l Court System are proud that we led the successful nationa l letter only resu lted in a Har vey Mil k writ ing campaig ns, that not United States postage stamp but also a United States naval ship, struction of the USNS Har vey Mil the USNS Har vey Mil k. Conk will beg in in San Diego in July 2019. Yes, next year, and it will carr ying, Union Members. proudly be built by card I was introduced to Har vey Mil k in the early 1970s by Empress José at a Polk Street bar. We also wide campaig n aga inst John Brig worked together on the stategs. I also had the honor to work with César Chávez and the grap get how Har vey stood up for the e boycott and will never forMex ican and Filipino farm wor kers. If Har vey were alive today, spea king out for the thousands of he wou ld be standing up and mig rants from Honduras, El Salv ador, and Guatemala. Those who poverty. Those who are encampe are fleeing violence and d at the Tijuana/San Diego bord er. Har vey wou ld have spoken out women and children this past Sun aga inst the tear gassing of day at the border. Among those mig rants are over 100 of our gay, lesbian, bisexua l and transgender sisters and brot violence, and hate crimes. Almost hers, fleeing discriminat ion, all of them fleeing their countri es with just the clot hes on their perial Court System chapters are backs. The Internat iona l Improud that this past weekend we donated $10,000.00 to help feed sisters. Indeed, we are a GL BT and clot he our brot hers and Global Community and our love and compassion has NO BORD ER S! I know today, many of us wonder and dream about how wou ld it be if Har vey Mil k were alive toda be an old queen like me, but muc y. Wel l first of all, he wou ld h better look ing. Har vey wou ld be wondering how our country dent of the United States who said came from the first Presihe wou ld never tell a lie to now a President that can never stop to stand up and spea k out aga inst lying. Har vey wou ld want us the grow ing hate aga inst Jew ish, Afr ican American, and, Lat ino Muslim brot hers and sisters. To communities as well as our also spea k out on behalf of Plan ned Parenthood and stronger gun control. My sisters and brot hers, our con tinuing fight for GL BT equality is indeed the last civi l rights mov 21st century. Tonight, we have also ement of the gathered here to send a message to America, reminding them we ever going back into the closets. are never, In closing, I want to say that, ind eed, Har vey Mil k lives in all of you through your activism. He Jones, Mark Leno, Rafael Mande lives in Cleve lman, Scott Wiener, Dav id Cam pos, Toni Atk ins, Todd Gloria, nenberg, Dan Nicoletta, Nancy Anne Kro Pelosi, Gav in Newsom, Tom Am miano, The Har vey Mil k Democra and many others. He especial ly tic Club, lives through his nephew, Stuart Mil k, who is bringing his uncle’s hope to our GL BT global family message of and communities. I have been with Stuart in Europe and Lat in Am have seen first hand how just his erica and presence and words give our brot hers and sisters hope. I know you proud of you, Stuart. r uncle is As someone who has been coming up to San Francisco since the 196 0s, I want to than k you for giving vey Mil k and George Moscone, us HarDel Martin, Phyllis Lyon, Empres s 1 José, Tom Waddell, Sylveste Shilts, The Sisters of Perpetua l r, Randy Indulgence, The Internat iona l Imp eria l Court System, The star t of Choruses, The founding of the Gay Men’s Gay Games, The NA MES Project AIDS Memoria l Qui lt and so muc h more. And whi le next year we will righ tful ly celebrate Stonewa ll 50 in New York, this old queen and the that our GL BT civi l rights mov world know ement truly and honestly began HE RE , in San Francisco. Thank you and God Bless you all.

GRAPHIC SOURCE: FRIENDS OF HARVEY MILK PLAZA

Harvey Milk Plaza Project Receives Phase 1 Approval The Harvey Milk Plaza project, on the afternoon of December 17, received Phase I approval at a hearing of the San Francisco Arts Commission’s Civic Design Review Committee. Speaking passionately in favor of reimagining the site were Cleve Jones, Ken Jones, San Francisco Bay Times columnist and entertainer Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Alex Lemberg and others. Daniel Bergerac, President of Castro Merchants, read aloud a letter of support from Sister Roma of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. The Friends of Harvey Milk Plaza were pleased with the result, posting after the hearing: “The commissioners were clearly moved by what they heard. The movement took a huge leap forward today, as the plaza project secured an important approval towards becoming a reality. Thanks to all who continue to follow and support the project. We are celebrating with you! Together, we will #HonorHarveyMilk!”

SF City Hall Rally Supporting Funds for City College Photo by Rink Supervisors Rafael Mandelman and Jane Kim spoke on December 18 on the steps of San Francisco City Hall during a rally and press conference organized by the Free City College Coalition. The rally supported the Free City Program, a f irst of its kind program offering universal free higher education for City residents. The program serves a diverse range of students, from traditional college-age individuals to immigrants, people of color, low-income folks and their neighbors and family members. In addition to speakers, the event included holiday caroling and a discussion of the Free City College Amendment to the City Charter proposed by Supervisor Kim that, if approved by voters in November 2019, will set aside $15 million annually to support the Free City College program for ten years.

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A New Year’s Valentine Music is my guide every single day of my life—much like for many of you. This is the time we put our holiday music to bed and begin fresh with brand new playlist for 2019. If you live in the Bay Area, the music from Dear Evan Hansen is probably on the top of yours. And deservedly so.

Dr. Tim Seelig We have now “turned the page” on 2018. For many, it was with great relief and couldn’t come soon enough. I’m in that camp. For some, the year’s page was turned with happiness, closing a chapter on a stellar year. Some hesitantly turned the page with trepidation of the unknown. Regardless, time is something we cannot control. We aren’t given the option of, “No, thanks, I’ll just stay in 2018 a little longer.” 2019 is here! Father Time continued his steady march throughout the last year. He’s not a pretty vision with his long beard, crumpled robe and carrying an hourglass representing time’s constant one-way movement. It’s a bit frightening when he grabs his scythe to kill off the last year! In his final act, he hands the new year over to a bouncing baby, who doesn’t have a clue what to do with the year ahead. Here’s the good news. There’s a baby in charge! It’s a brand-new day. We get to raise him up the way we want! Considering he goes from toddler to grave in just 12 months, the first few weeks are critical before he hits his teenage years and knows everything.

Bobby Jo Valentine

Simply stated, Bobby Jo’s music helped us face Father Time and his scythe and make it through the last part of 2018. His music is magical, deep, thought-provoking and hearthealing. Bobby Jo is no stranger to struggle and it shows in his music. He grew up Baptist and, like me and many of us, is recovering! He also lost his home in the Santa Rosa fires a year ago. More on that later. I decided to write about him in this new year’s article because of two specific songs. Bobby Jo is as much a poet

AUSTIN WONDO PHOTOGRAPHY

TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation

In 2018, I found much music to fill my heart, console and uplift me. It was also exciting to discover a new artist, Bobby Jo Valentine. My husband and I were definitely tardy to the party, considering that he is from the Bay Area, is one of today’s hottest LGBTQ artists and has been touring the country for the last six years. I was certainly aware of him as an artist, but we had not had the opportunity to get to know his music. That all changed in October.

as he is a composer and troubadour. The Gay J o u r n a l c a l le d h i m “t he love ch i ld of Ga ndhi and Stevie Nicks.” The lyrics of both pieces deal with the end of the year, saying goodbye and looking forward with hope. His newest song (Left to Right) Bobby Jo Valentine, Dan England, Tim Seelig, Stephen Schwartz and Chris Verdugo, is “Dear Decem so let go all the dark things ary 26, SFGMC will be hosting Bobber.” Here is an excerpt of the lyrics: by Jo on the final concert of his two that have been done to you Dear December month tour for Campfire Relief. Stay life isn’t just what happens End of years tuned for more details on that. Mark it’s something you happen to Rest in Peace, all you the date on your calendar and watch so let the new year grow hopes and fears for more info. take it sure and slow Beneath chimneys In this new year, I hope you find mo never look back Embers glow ments of reflection and peace. I hope except to learn or laugh Some things bury you find many of those moments in wounds are our greatest teachers Some things grow music. It will carry you through this scars are our strangest strength year ahead. Maybe, instead of making Now it’s colder and every moment dances New Year’s resolutions, you will spend Now I’m older along with the way we move, a little time researching new music and Now I’m fuller grown life isn’t just what happens new artists and make your own 2019 Now I’m trying to let my heart it’s something you happen to playlist. Why, you might even make a come home. mix tape for someone special! Each of these songs touched me with We too busy to sing our songs the deep look at the passage of time, And as for the bouncing baby named We who’ve wandered for far the difficulties and the hope. 2019, hang on. Teach him well. too long Dear December, so you know Hearing Bobby Jo live is a transform- He’ll be hanging around for 12 more I am letting my heavy heart ing experience. He reaches each per- months before you get to trade him in come home son in the audience as few I have seen. on the new 2020 model! As I said, this is only a small excerpt of the whole. It truly touched us in so many ways. The second, “Something You Happen To,” reached us in much the same way, especially at the turn of the year. Another excerpt:

december thirty-first pull up the shiny hearse put in the old year break the reverse gear the past pulls out your driveway forever out of reach

In December and January, Bobby has been performing benefit concerts for the Campf ire Relief Fund—something obviously near and dear to his own heart and life. He has already raised over $50,000 from these concerts for the relief efforts. Where can you help with the fund and hear Bobby Jo sing? Good Question. He is currently Artist in Residence in the South Bay. This is his base as he tours the country. On Janu-

Happy New Year one and all! P. S. You can lear n much more about B obby Jo at h is website ( http://www.bobbyjovalentine.com/ ) and find his music on YouTube. Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.

Title SF Gay Men’s Chorus Gets Brassy and Sassy at the Nourse Photos by JP Lor The 250 men of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, plus acclaimed coloratura soprano Marnie Breckenridge, presented the holiday show Brassy and Sassy at the Nourse Theater on Friday, December 7, and Saturday, December 8. Backed by a brilliant brass quintet, the Chorus dashed from glorious classical fare to swing to big band, not to mention a few new twists on holiday classics. Audiences were invited to sing along to their favorites and delight in the breathtaking sound of men’s voices performing “Silver Bells,” “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” a cutting-edge version of “Silent Night,” and much more. Artistic Director and San Francisco Bay Times columnist Dr. Tim Seelig said the Chorus and audiences went “from classy to sassy and back!”

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018

Golf Pro Comes Out Coming into 2019

The KiAi Way Jamie Leno Zimron “It’s important for me to always fight for equality ... . There is only one of you in the world and you have one life, so be the best version of yourself and be proud of who you are. That’s when you attract the right people around you to make you better, and ultimately, happier.” With these words in early December, LPGA Tour Pro Mel Reid came out proudly and publicly. Mel is a six-time European Women’s Golf Tour winner and two-time member of the prestigious European Solheim Cup team (the LPGA equivalent to the PGA’s Ryder Cup). Her message rings loud and clear and is a great way to start the new year: Be yourself! Be authentic! Be brave! Feel your fears, then find the inner oomph and surround yourself with supportive people, or even just one

Even as the year 2019 dawns, out-athletes remain a small minority of leading pioneers and courageous champions for equal opportunity in the sports world. Mel’s message is as powerful and important as ever, particularly in the face of looming efforts to roll back our community’s hard-won gains for LGBTQ human rights—on all of the playing fields of life. Mel has joined Billie Jean King and a growing list of athletes (whom I’m going to join when I finish writing this article!) who are Athlete Ally Ambassadors. Athlete Ally ( https://www. athleteally.org ) is a nonprofit dedicated to ending “the rampant homophobia and transphobia in sport,” and believes that the greatest athletes are those who transcend their sport through their words and deeds, both on and off the field. In her coming out interview with Athlete Ally, Mel covered a lot of territory. She talked about “male-dominated sponsors that are looking for certain types of players.” That’s basically code for the “sexism-sells” approach to marketing, and the gender stereotyping that has made gay athletes so afraid to be themselves. While her family and many fellow competitors have been supportive, Mel

PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMIE LENO ZIMRON

supportive person, so that you can move out from whatever is holding you back in your life. Every single one of us has the inherent equal right to be who we are and to be happy—and the world needs you to be the true, unique and amazing person that you are!

LPGA Tour pro Mel Reid at the 2017 Solheim Cup at the Des Moines Golf and Country Club in Iowa

brought up the fact that being gay is still illegal in many countries where the LPGA plays events. She also wasn’t shy about decrying the giant income gap between male and female athletes, and offered excellent ideas to promote equal pay and parity for women. For starters, I just love Mel’s suggestion to sponsors: Divide in half the millions of dollars you spend and distribute them equally between PGA and LPGA players, instead of giving most of the money to the men! To make sports more representative and inclusive for both players and fans, she says she’d “love to see more women in business come forward and support women’s golf ... and more equipment companies in general support women and show our faces in stores and in ads.” (continued on page 26)

‘Live a Life That Others Can Appreciate’

Sports John Chen Brandon Renfroe turned down a potential scholarship to play college baseball so that he could turn to religion for help and for answers. Irony defined his childhood. Brandon was reared in a family without religion in the heart of the Bible Belt. In Avon, Mississippi, where the town’s only gas station was also the lone grocery store and the sole restaurant, a young Brandon—who excelled not only in sports but also academics— was often called “faggot.” The other kids thought he was somehow different, yet he shed the negative label when he started dating girls and partying with the jocks. Brandon knew that he liked boys for as long as he could remember, but the name-calling still came as a harsh surprise. He was smart and athletic and exhibited no obvious giveaways in his demeanor and outward persona. No matter. Juvenile name calling was just that, juvenile, or at least that’s how Brandon perceived it, because at the time and to him, there was no other explanation. Things started to change once Brandon started to come of age. The more he dated girls, the more it became clear that he wanted to be with boys. The more he starred on the baseball diamond, the more people believed he was a typical skirt-chasing, red blooded all-American southern jock. Brandon didn’t want to be gay. He wanted to live the life he thought was normal. There had to be a way. 18

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Photos courtesy of John Chen

At fifteen, Brandon’s parents succumbed to a major f inancial def icit that crippled and divided his family, leaving him with lots of questions and no answers. Mired in confusion, anger, fear, despair, depression and hopelessness about life and himself, Brandon turned to religion in search of answers and perhaps a cure. Religion offered hope, faith and love—things that were dearly missing in his life. For years, he sincerely prayed for a sense of normalcy, and it was hope that kept him going, leading him down a path of faith and away from a potential baseball career. At Mississippi College, a Christian faith school, Brandon took on various leadership roles and became devoted to his church and its teachings. But deep inside, nothing really changed. No amount of prayers and revelationseeking made him more sexually attracted to women and less desirous of men. The constant str uggle of wanting to live the life of others weighed on Brandon every waking hour. He played lots of sports and competed in cross fit as a means to escape. Sports were the only things that made Brandon forget the lies and feel good about himself. But always in the shadows behind him lurked his true self, finding anonymous men to fulfill his real need for intimacy. Just months before graduating, returning from a winter vacation, somehow everyone learned of his sexual “sins.” Under constant scrutiny, his friends and church alike demanded answers and called for him to repent. They tried to “f ix” Brandon and told him that he would end up in hell. How did love turn into hate so quickly and maliciously? Enough was enough. Stripped of his lies, a blessing in disguise, the weight of his mask lifted, freeing Brandon.

Brandon Renfroe

“Moving away from Mississippi, I decided that I didn’t want to hide anymore, that I wouldn’t care what people said of me, that I would live my life boldly, and that I would be proud of who I am,” he told me for the San Francisco Bay Times. Leaving his church and college behind, Brandon dove head first into being an openly gay man. His initial experience at being addressed as “gurl” confused him greatly, especially given that he was labeled as masculine. Eventually finding his way to San Francisco, Brandon quickly built great friendships playing with LGBT sports groups such as the San Francisco Gay Softball League and Balls of Furry Volleyball. (continued on page 26)

Fitness Wisdom in gyms are on staff at the facility where they work. I asked each trainer to give me their name, what year they started training people and a few tips or guidelines that they often offer.

Easy Fitness Cinder Ernst Recently I was considering some of the coaching that I offer to my clients on a regular basis. That consideration led to an article about the advice I give most often. The article then led me to wonder what other trainers say to their clients. In this column, I will introduce you to three of my colleagues, and give you some of their best advice. The trainers I interviewed have all been in business for 1–3 decades. I requested their wisdom because we have worked side by side and I respect and trust their guidance. These three colleagues and I fall into the category of independent trainer, which means that we run our own business and pay a fee or monthly rent to the gym where we bring our clients. Currently, there are only two locations in San Francisco that allow independent trainers. Most trainers whom you see

Let’s begin with a woman who was my trainer before I became a trainer: Shari Shryock. Shari inspired me and helped me with the business end of personal training as I got started. We worked together at World Gym for twenty years. You can still find her there! Shari Shryock Trainer since 1985 1. Don’t look down. She explains, “Many people do not want to look in the mirror, so I have them look at the muscle they are working to create the mind/muscle connection.” 2. You will feel better after you train. 3. Why did you stop? Shari says, “I just find that people can’t push past a little discomfort when they start.” 4. Use your thumbs to grip while lifting weights. The next two trainers, James and B.C., have been working with me at Fitness SF over these past 8 years. James Seyda Trainer since 2000 James says, “If you want to get the results you want, there are three key factors.”

1. rest (recovery/sleep);

Take Me Home with You!

2. proper nutrition; 3. proper exercise. He adds, “If one of those is off, you will not get the results you want!” B.C. Cliver Trainer since 1988 1. Chin up, chest up. Proper movement patterns begin with proper posture. 2 I know you can do this. You just don’t know you can do this yet! Never sell yourself short. B.C. says, “My ideal client is someone dealing with health issues or injuries, and interested in improving their health and their life. All genders welcome!” I enjoyed interviewing my three coworkers and learning from their approaches. I hope that you found some information and inspiration here, too. Cinder Ernst, Medical Exercise Specialist and Life Coach Extraordinaire, helps reluctant exercisers get moving with safe, effective and fun programs. Her book, “Easy Fitness for the Reluctant Exerciser” ( http:// cinderernst.com/easy-fitness-book/ ), is available in paperback and E-book. She specializes in fitness and rehab for plus-size clients, but her stress-free approach is suitable for all. Find out more at http:// cinderernst.com

Little Luna

“My name is Little Luna! I’m an energetic, playful lady who’s always up for a good time. I love to spend my free time being active and exploring, whether that means going for a long walk in the city or taking a trip to romp around the countryside. If you’re searching for an adventure buddy, look no further— come meet me!” Little Luna is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Little Luna. To meet Little Luna, as well as other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-5223500 Aside from major holidays, the Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat–Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt! For more info, please visit https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions

Fitness SF Trainer Tip of the Month

Moriah Nakada -

Fitness SF SoMa “The One Arm Dumbbell Row is one of my favorite exercises. It’s a 2-for1 move in the sense that you have to keep yourself stable on the bench while performing the pull technique. Keep your core muscles tight the whole time and make your lat muscle do all of the work!”

AGUILAS Holiday Party 2018

Tore Kelly, Director of Creative & Social Media for Fitness SF, provides monthly tips that he has learned from professional trainers. For more information: https://fitnesssf.com/

Photos courtesy of Juan Davila

Members and friends of AGUILAS, the nonprofit supporting gay Latinos, gathered at the San Francisco LGBT Community Center on December 13 for the organization’s annual Holiday Party. In addition to party fare, the evening included live entertainment, photo ops and networking. To learn more, visit http://www.aguilas.org

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DEC EM BER 20, 2018

BAY TIMES S

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

BEST

OF 2018

WE THE ANIMALS

1985

COLETTE

THE MISANDRISTS

NIGHT COMES ON

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ 20

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

GEMINI

ANYTHING

ASSASSINATION NATION

CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?

LESBIAN LA LA LA Which of the following has been called the first mainstream musical about a young lesbian, and also the first musical with a lesbian as the protagonist? A) Fun Home

B) Down Home

ANSWER ON PAGE 24

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C) Down Under

D) Ring of Keys

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since. Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

Top Ten Queer Films of 2018 DARK MONEY

Film Gary M. Kramer 2018 was a pretty good year for LGBTQ films. Hollywood released its f irst mainstream American f ilm about a gay teen, Love, Simon. The affable comedy-drama—about the title character (Nick Robinson), coming out after falling in love with an anonymous male student over the internet—is charming and sensitive, with characters that feel authentic rather than stereotypical. The Chilean film A Fantastic Woman, about a transwoman (Daniela Vega) grappling with the sudden death of her lover, won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. It was the first trans-themed film to be awarded an Oscar. Even Bohemian Rhapsody, about queer Queen frontman Freddie Mercury (Rami Malek), overcame a scandal involving out gay filmmaker Bryan Singer being fired from the production, as well as criticism of its portrayal of Mercury’s sexuality, to become a monster hit at the box office. Here are the top ten queer films of 2018: We the Animals, directed by Jeremiah Zagar, is an impressionistic view of the childhood of a young boy (Evan Rosado) who slowly discovers his sexuality. This adaptation of out gay writer Justin Torres’ novel is heartbreaking and sensational. Can You Ever Forgive Me? Melissa McCarthy gives an Oscar-worthy performance as Lee Israel, a sad and lonely lesbian who commits forgery to keep herself out of debt and despair. A scene of her having a heartto-heart with her ex Elaine (Anna Deavere Smith), is painful, but exceptional, and it counterbalances her darkly comic bad behavior with gay pal and coconspirator Jack (Richard E. Grant, also excellent).

BOY ERASED

ON CHESIL BEACH

Money, which is about campaign finance reform and the undisclosed corporate contributions that are used to influence elections. It incited righteous outrage. Jordana Spiro wrote and directed the underseen gem Night Comes On about a teenage lesbian (Dominique Fishback) released from juvenile detention. She travels through Philadelphia to first reconnect with her younger sister Abby (Tatum Marilyn Hall, excellent) and then to confront her father ( John Jenks) about their past. It’s gritty and spellbinding. Keira Knightley gives a terrific performance as the bisexual title character Colette in Wash Westmoreland’s fabulous biopic, co-written with his late husband, Richard Glatzer. This handsomely mounted period piece shows how Colette’s relationships with various women helped her in her personal and professional relationship with her husband, Willy (Dominic West). On Chesil Beach Out gay director Dominic Cooke’s stunning debut was an adaptation of Ian McEwan’s eponymous novel. Cooke coaxes outstanding performances by Saoirse Ronan and Billy Howle as a young couple on their wedding night in 1962. He makes exterior spaces, such as the titular beach, claustrophobic, and generates considerable tension and emotion throughout this remarkable drama. The clever and killer action-comedy Assassination Nation showcases trans actress Hari Nef as Bex, one of four female friends reacting to the aftermath of sinister computer hacks in their small town. It’s a darkly funny and thrilling film that embraces its chaos, asking viewers to go along for the ride. A trio of dishonorable mentions:

Yen Tan’s poetic tearjerker, 1985, concerns a gay man (out gay actor Corey Michael Smith) hiding his sexuality and his HIV status. A simple, sensitive, poignant and moving drama, it leaves a real lump in the throat.

Boy Erased, based on Garrard Conley’s novel about his experiences in gay conversion therapy, is geared toward educating straight people about the horrors of conversion therapy. That is fine and valuable, but the film makes its points in a heavy-handed fashion and featured a void of a performance by Lucas Hedges in the title role.

Gemini is Aaron Katz’s fantastic mystery about an actress Heather Anderson (Zoë Kravitz), who may be sexually involved with Tracy (Greta Lee). When a murder occurs, Heather’s personal assistant, Jill (Lola Kirke), investigates. This slinky film has a blink-and-you-missed-it theatrical run, but is worth seeking out.

Disobedience, directed by Sebastián Lelio (A Fantastic Woman), is a well-intentioned adaptation of Naomi Alderman’s novel, but it is one dull dud. Rachel Weisz plays a former Orthodox Jew who returns to her community and rekindles a relationship with the married Esti (Rachel McAdams). However, despite a passionate hotel love scene between the two women, this film is didactic and disappointing, and marred by the miscasting of McAdams.

The Misandrists by out gay director Bruce La Bruce is an erotic-comedy thriller that hilariously mocks radical politics. The f ilm features both strong lesbian and trans heroines as well as outrageous gay porn and an unforgettable graphic sex change scene.

Anything, which didn’t screen in the Bay Area, is an absolute misfire. Out gay actor Matt Bomer tries too hard as a transgender sex worker who falls in love with Early ( John Carroll Lynch), a recent widower. The film trades in stereotypes and sass, without ever being convincing.

Transgender f ilmmaker Kimberly Reed wrote, produced and directed the gripping documentary Dark

© 2018 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

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Dance Along Nutcracker

Photos by JP Lor

“Clara Potter and the Elder Baton” was the featured theme for San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band’s 2018 Dance Along Nutcracker® musical production at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. For the cast and audience participants alike, it was back to school at “Fogwarts School for the Magically Oriented” complete with riddles, an evil school board, kazoos, a three-ish headed dog and wizards and witches of all ages engaged in a search for the long-lost Elder Baton and a quest to save the school music program. Along with magic and mischief, this year’s show featured musical numbers from Moana, Hairspray, West Side Story and more. Find out more about the troupe, led by artistic director Pete Nowlen, at http://www.dancealongnutcracker.org

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BAY TIMES A

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

Weddings, Occasions & Relationships Not-So-Secret Secrets to Lesbian Dating Success g irls with long hair (and not assuming they’re straight). Do you hate jazz? Then a jazz lover/musician might not work out so well.

The Lesbian Love Doctor Dr. Frankie Bashan On a daily basis, I talk to a lot of lesbians. Whether it’s at a Single Mingle event, in the course of a consultation or as a matchmaking client, I observe that these women are generally successful, funny, talented and healthy, yet are still lacking a partner. They come to me from a variety of situations. In some cases, their work is too demanding to allow time to search for a match. In others, they’ve been single for a period of time and want some professional assistance, or they simply want to widen their social network. Whatever the circumstances, these women tell me the same thing and herein lies Secret #1: Regardless of our identity, we all often want the same qualities in a partner. “She should have a sense of humor, a sense of fun, be healthy, have passion about something in her life, be able to go out and do things, but also be happy staying home and watching movies. She should be a superb conversationalist, have emotional intelligence, be financially secure, not have a drug problem and enjoy a glass of wine from time to time.” Sound like your perfect match? She is. Nearly all of the women I talk to describe their perfect match as this person.

If the hard part is meeting someone who is funny, interest ing and attractive, then do a couple of things. First, rela x your expectations. Love at f irst sight, or k now i n g s he’s “the one” at first glance, isn’t reality. Next, widen your net ( just going out to the same places with your friends doesn’t cou nt) and create time in your schedule to meet with st r a n g er s . We are all busy. We all would rather stay in our comfort zones, but if finding a partner is part of your New Year’s resolutions, make this a priority. I offer a ton more practical tips on how to put yourself out there on my website. The truth is, nearly all of us want the same thing in life: To love and to be loved. We all have an infinite capacity for love and finding it isn’t the problem—it’s finding someone who hates your music, for example, yet still loves you; that’s the real challenge. And the only way you’re going to find such as partner is if you date more people.

We might suffer broken hearts, unmet expectations or betrayals, but if we allow ourselves to truly be present to the dating process, to grow and to understand that we nearly a l l want the same t h ing s, t hen we become less guarded, more aware and more open. I hope my notso-secret lesbian dating secrets give you confidence and a l low you to boldly step in t he d i rect ion of f inding the partner whom you d e s er v e. Want more tips on lesbian dati ng? Cu r iou s about lesbia n matchmaking? We provide matchmaking to professional women of all ages and in every U.S. state. Dr. Frankie Bashan is a psychologist, matchmaker and relationship guru who has been using her psychology background combined with technolog y and personalized algorithms to successfully match lesbian couples nationwide. As the founder of Little Gay Book, the only exclusively lesbian/bi matchmaking agency in the U.S., she helps women in every state to find authentic, healthy, righteous, full-blown love and she knows what makes relationships tick. For more info: https://www.littlegaybook.com/

She exists. She’s right in front of you. She’s the woman in the bar with long hair, waiting patiently for you to pick her up. She’s the quiet nerdy girl at the cafe, typing furiously on her computer, or she’s the professional on the bus seat next to you, reading the newspaper. She’s right here, where you are standing. She wants to meet you just as much as you want to meet her. Secret #2: It’s a numbers game. Like any good salesperson will tell you, “Always be closing.” While that might sound harsh in regard to matters of the heart, it’s a simple reminder: If you want to find a partner, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. You have to go on a lot of dates with people you might not necessarily be attracted to or don’t know much about. And there’s beauty in this: You can meet someone new, find out her story, spend time getting to know her and enjoy the ride of where it might take you. It may last one date; it may last ten. The hard part isn’t finding someone who is funny, interesting and attractive. The hard part is finding someone who is compatible with you! Are you a serious homebody? Then someone with wanderlust isn’t going to be a good match. Are you an old-school butch looking for your high femme? Then you’re going to need to start picking up the S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018

SHORTER (continued from page 3) embarrassing display of our highest elected powers that are at such sharp odds against each other. More so because it reminds us of how dangerously diminished and pedestrian the U.S. presidency has sunk under Trump, and how vitally important it is that checks and balances from an equal branch of government be activated to defend and protect the American people from such self-centered, willful and potentially irreparable harm he is, in fact, determined and destined to manifest. Godspeed to the once and future Speaker Pelosi for asserting the idea to the president that facts should guide governance—including as it pertains to massive expenditures to erect useless structures, or facts that might lead to impeachment of a president—and to the dedicated journalists around the world who risk their own safety, liberty and lives to seek out truth and facts that might prove threaten-

ing and dangerous to tyrants, yet liberating to those they seek to oppress. Upon the close of the 40th Anniversary year of the San Francisco Bay Times, thank you for giving voice to the LGBTQ experience, movement and community as we strive for full representation, equality, liberation and freedom from tyranny the world over. Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights, and marriage equality. A Co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

ROSTOW (continued from page 11) a) A do-over vote on Brexit? Or MBS ousted and jailed on corruption charges? b) Donald Junior indicted for lying to Congress? Or Pence dropped from the 2020 ticket? c) The High Court rule against us on the scope of Title VII? Or the High Court rule against us on the antigay florist case? d) Donald and Melania divorce? Or Donald be impeached? e) Beto O’Rourke leading the Democrats? Or Kamala Harris? f) A tell-all book by Michael Cohen? The complete, un-redacted testimony of Mike Flynn to the FBI?

by our old friend Jack Phillips, of Masterpiece Cakeshop in Denver. Asher’s Bakery, the store that said no to “support gay marriage,” won its case in Belfast, Ireland. I vaguely recall something like scenario d), but it wasn’t part of last year’s coverage. Answer Five: c) Morffi taught first grade at a Miami Catholic school until she married her partner. Bailey lost her elementary teaching job in Texas after showing the kids a photo of herself and her partner dressed as Nemo and Dory. Fitzgerald was a guidance counselor at a Catholic high school in Indianapolis whose marriage was a secret, until it wasn’t.

2018 Year in Review News Quiz Answers

Answer Six: b) Judge Marsha J. Pechman, the Senior U.S. District Court Judge for the Western District of Washington, has ruled in favor of transgender troops in all aspects of the case that is now pending at the Ninth Circuit. Trump and company are trying to get the West Coast case and others prematurely accepted for Supreme Court review. Meanwhile, in enforcing an injunction against the Everertt dress code, Judge Pechman called the code vague and possibly unconstitutional. For all of these reasons, she seems like Someone We Would Like to Have a Beer With.

Answer One: e) Lord Tod Wadley was a stuffed doll carried around by eccentric lesbian boat racer Joe Carstairs, who had affairs with Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich, among others. Bundo is Mike Pence’s rabbit. Stinkerbutt is an emotional support duck that caused trouble on an airplane. Knickers is an adorably huge steer. Sully was Bush 41’s service dog, and Magic is an Australian penguin that is raising an egg with his partner, Sphen.

Answer Seven: a) and c) Both students capped the donations, and Georgetown gave Owen a full ride. Ng is still broke and upset with the gay community for not helping her with bills. Maddie and her family moved to Houston. Coburn was out of luck, and the Danish penguins were not evicted, but given a spare egg from another couple and were working on hatching it.

g) An economic recession? A new bull market? Happy New Year! Answers to follow. arostow@aol.com

Answer Two: a) and d) Basically, the opinion rested on a technicality, but it can be interpreted to support a range of viewpoints, including those hostile to gay civil rights. Answer Three: a) I’m going with the condom challenge, which involves inhaling a condom up your nose and getting it to come out of your mouth. Arguably, another correct answer is probably d), which calls for the dancer to balance on the roof of a moving car. In contrast, holding your bladder or having sex with a robot seem pretty tame. Could it be possible, by the way, that the monk seals are simply competing in the “eel challenge?” Answer Four: c) See? It’s not always about homophobia. Sometimes it’s just stupidity. Scardina’s cake was refused

Answer Eight: e) Enough said. Answer Nine: a) True, b) False (No one really thought it was an Eagles bar, they just enjoyed the ambiance), c) False (The transphobic church somehow won tax exempt status), d) False (Apple disabled the rainbow light in Russia), e) True, f) True, g) False (Two of the contestants vying for his hand fell for each other instead). Answer Ten: The answers are a matter of opinion, of course. Mine are a) a Brexit do-over, b) Pence dropped, c) Can’t decide which is worse, d) Divorce, because it would be more chaotic, e) Can’t decide which is better, but lean towards Beto f) Flynn’s testimony, g) A bull market.

Happy Holidays to You & Yours From All of Us at the San Francisco Bay Times

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on pg 20) A) Fun Home Adapted by Lisa Kron and Jeanine Tesori from Alison Bechdel’s 2006 graphic memoir of the same name, Fun Home is the story of Bechdel’s discovery of her own sexuality, her relationship with her gay father and her attempts to unlock the mysteries surrounding his life. More trivia: Bechdel’s popular comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For was for many years published in the San Francisco Bay Times. 24

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SISTER DANA (continued from page 10) December 3. Emcee Donna Sachet introduced Deputy Consul General of Japan, who exchanged large cranes with Rev. Malcom Clemens Young, Dean of Grace Cathedral; Heklina, who sang an Icelandic Christmas carol; Lauren Meyer from 42nd St Moon’s production of Dames at Sea; pianist Tammy Hall; Lesbian Gay Chorus of San Francisco; origami artist Linda Mihara; RWF Founder Jeff Cotter; and several of us nuns from The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, who blessed the tree. Heklina and the Sisters led the attendees to do the traditional countdown from ten to one, and at once the tree lit up with hundreds of brilliant fairy lights. Inspirational! http://www.rainbowfund.org/ On December 6, we enjoyed acoustic performances of more than a dozen classic QUEEN songs interpreted by Bay Area musicians in a beautiful restored 1881 Hayes Valley Victorian, F’Inn, the site of concerts, film shoots, and unique performance events. I recall that back in the early 80s, inn-owner Mike Finn was delighted by his intimate living room productions of so many first-time new shows that have gone on to become hit regulars at Oasis and Victoria Theatre. (Editor’s note: The F’Inn’s historic Victorian was also the former home of The Society of Individual Rights. It served as the first meeting place of The Daughters of Bilitis and the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, which was formed in 1964 by lesbian activists Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin along with Glide Memorial Methodist Church.) The salon-style concert, NOW WE’RE HERE celebrated host/author Jim Provenzano’s Queen-inspired sixth novel, Now I’m Here. The talented performers included Peter Fogel, Suzanne Ramsey, Diogo Zavadzki, Coleton Schmitto, Adam Dragland, and special guests Leigh Crow, Ruby Vixen and Jason Brock. As it was Provenzano’s birthday, we all sang the Birthday Song to him. Combining literature and music, Lambda Literary Awardwinning author Provenzano’s sixth novel, Now I’m Here, blends historic and contemporary topics, and each chapter is headed with a Queen song title. In a very brief synopsis, two Southern Ohio teenage boys, Joshua Evans (a piano prodigy), and David Koenig (a pumpkin farmer’s son) attend a Queen concert in 1978 on their first date. Their passionate affair grows into a life together full of farming and concerts in their barn. https://www.jimprovenzano.com/ THE SALVATION SISTERS of The SF Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were in the Castro on December 8 ringing bells as an alternate to the anti-LGBTQ Salvation Army bell ringers. The money raised will be split between LYRIC’s undocumented LGBTQI+ youth work program and the Sisters General Fund. Sister Dana sez, “Kiss me under the mistletoe, or even better: check out these pre-Christmas events!” HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, presented by the delightful SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS, brings out the full spectrum of holiday revelry as few other shows can do. Backed by a brilliant brass quintet, they will dash from glorious classical fare to swing to big band ... plus a few new twists on holiday season classics. Be dazzled and delighted by the breathtaking sound of 250 men’s voices performing favorites from “Silver Bells” to “Hark the Herald An-

gels Sing,” as well as a cutting-edge version of “Silent Night.” On top of that, they will welcome the amazing Marnie Breckenridge to join them in the sublime and the ridiculous ... from classy to sassy and back! Three shows on Christmas Eve, December 24 at 5, 7, and 9 pm in the Castro Theatre. This is a holigay (holiday gay) tradition! https://www.sfgmc.org/home-for-the-holidays/ DAMES AT SEA, now playing at Gateway Theatre, 215 Jackson Street, through December 16, is the perfect musical for audiences of all ages to enjoy, whether it’s the scene-stealing over-the-top ham acting, incredible tap-dancing, the light-hearted comedy, the bright and peppy score or the loving homage to musicals of the 1920s and 30s. http://42ndstmoon.org/damesatsea/ QUEER CHRISTMAS EVE INTERFAITH SERVICE IN THE CASTRO is offered on Monday, December 24, 6 pm–8:30 pm in Harvey Milk Plaza, Castro and Market Streets, hosted by SACRED SPACE SF. Come celebrate the sacredness in each one of us! Join us to lift up the marginalized, the outcast, the immigrant, the unseen and the “other” during this sacred time of year! We will be handing out hygiene kits, socks and a warm simple meal to those in need, for as long as they last. We will also be offering hot chocolate and cookie bites as part of Communion. GOLDEN GIRLS LIVE: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES has returned to the Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, now through December 23. The holidays are on their way and the Girls are back! Take four talented drag performers, cast them in two Xmas episodes of the uproarious TV show Golden Girls, and you have the perfect holiday event for the entire family. In what has become a yearly tradition, this drag send-up and loving tribute to the characters the entire world has come to know and love, features local drag stars: Heklina (Dorothy), Matthew Martin (Blanche), D’Arcy Drollinger (Rose), and Holotta Tymes (Sophia). https://nvite.com/community/goldengirlslive For December, SF artist Thomasina DeMaio of ARTSAVESLIVES has curated a fantastic art exhibition of more than 20 different artists and their amazing pieces at SPARK ARTS, 4229 18th Street in the Castro. Two of my faves are Walker Bukes and his clever photographs-collages of famous dead and alive drag queens and celebs from the 70s to the present, and Rene Capone with his gorgeous nudes on watercolor. The entire exhibition is on display through December. Check ‘em out! https://sparkarts.com/ THE MOSCONE CENTER EXPANSION OPENING EVENT will celebrate the completion of the Moscone Expansion at 747 Howard Street on Thursday, January 3, from 10 am to 12 pm for the festivities. Free with registration. https://bit.ly/2PM2Wya Dana Sister sez, “Happy Holidaze, Merry Christmas, and Happy Queer Year! Twennynineteen has just gotta be bettah!”

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DEC EM BER 20, 2018

ZIMRON (continued from page 18) Mel puts a focus on women who have already broken into the echelons of the business world, executive leadership, and professional golf and sports. They and others are well positioned to make even bigger differences by creating further possibilities for girls, women and gay/queer people to be in any game they want to play, and to be out and proud winners. We can all participate in this effort by: • going to women’s sporting events; • increasing women’s and LGBTQ presence as live spectators and in television audiences; • writing letters to the networks and corporate sponsors; • supporting diversity in sports at every level of schools and colleges; • and, if you can, by backing an athlete to reach their potential! It’s really all about making decisions, and what we choose to do with our time, energy and resources. Mel Reid made a decision— a big one that she knows is a game-changer in her life, and hopes will positively impact many others’ lives and open more doors for everyone. During these final days of 2018, I encourage you to take time to think about decisions in your own life. What were some of the significant decisions, large or small, that you made over the past 12 months? How have things been working out? Are there any things that you’d like to make a new decision about?

What current or upcoming decisions are you facing? How do you go about making decisions? What if you don’t decide? Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said: “Once you make a decision, the whole universe conspires to make it happen.” We’re each different, but fear and excitement generally accompany the decision-making process, so don’t be daunted. Mel Reid could only start to know the outcomes of coming out by doing it. Much as we’d like guarantees in advance that everything will turn out just fine, there’s always risk involved. Instead of bracing for the worst, try expecting unimaginable good and the best to happen. Heck, even the Golf Channel—not exactly a bastion of social or political progressivism— has done a very cool feature story on Mel Reid ( https://bit.ly/2EtMYXq ), an LPGA professional golfer who is a woman open and happy about loving women. So Happy New Year! Let’s all take a mighty swing and hit it miles down the fairway and out of the ballpark in 2019! Jamie Leno Zimron is a Class A LPGA Teaching professional, 6th Degree Aikido Black Belt, Somatic Psychologist, Corporate Speaker and Mind-Body Peak Performance Trainer. Contact her for private coaching and to work with your group, company or organization: jamiesensei@thekiaiway.com / 760-492GOLF(4653).

CHEN (continued from page 18) “Sports was an easy way for me to connect with the LGBT community and to be healthy both physically and mentally,” he says. “Being an athlete really helped to build my confidence and self-esteem, even during the darkest moments where I felt devastated and defeated. Sports was my sanctuary, something I could lean on; I could be proud and be who I am.” After hiding for most of his life, feeling betrayed by the people who said they loved him, and being abandoned by the church that only wanted to fix him, Brandon is finally the man he knew he could be and living life authentically. Although there are still some inner demons, they can no longer hurt him. Today, one can find Brandon on a softball field, on a volleyball court and in the gym training for cross fit competitions, smiling, laughing and being as gay as he can be. “Live a life that others can appreciate,” he says, mentioning that this is his favorite quote. He hopes that people can see the good in him, just as he strives to do for others, and particularly for those like him who have faced—and overcome—seemingly insurmountable challenges in their lives. John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball and football teams.

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

DE C E MB E R 2 0 , 2 0 1 8

BAY TIMES S

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

Compiled by Blake Dillon

CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/

20 Thursday Smuin’s The Christmas Ballet @ Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission Street. This “ohso-delightful” Bay Area favorite show returns with flawless classical ballet and red-hot contemporary numbers plus the perfect combination of longtime favorites and thrilling new surprises. Continues through December 24. https://bit.ly/2L0uIGB The Golden Girls Live!: The Christmas Episodes @ The Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street. Starring Heklina, D’arcy Drollinger, Matthew Martin and Holotta Tymes, this popular show sells out so check for tickets available through December 23. http://www.goldengirlssf.com 12.20 XO Holiday Party @ Jolene’s Bar, 2700 16th Street. On its first Thursday open to the public, this new bar for women hosts the Holigay Under the Mistletoe edition of the XO party. 9pm-2am. http://www.jolenessf.com Dear Evan Hansen @ Curran, 445 Geary Street. The show, winner of six Tony Awards including Best Musical, has been called one of the most remarkable in musical theatre history. It’s the deeply personal story of a young man who is about to get the one thing he never dreamed he would have: a chance to fit in. 1-3:30pm. Continues through December 30. http://www.sfcurran.com

21 Friday MECCA SF in the Castro @ Twin Peaks Tavern, 401 Castro Street. Max Mecca hosts the monthly mixer for women. 6pm10pm. MECCA SF on Facebook Queer Holiday Fair @ Qulture Collective, 1714 Franklin Street, Oakland. This repeating event continues with offerings by queer, trans and GNC makers. 6pm. http://www.qulturecolllective.com

22 Saturday Patty & Kit’s Holiday Gift Wrap for Charity @ Cliff’s Variety, 479 Castro Street. The annual Gift Wrap benefit, now in its seventh year, offers beautiful wrapping for a small donation to support the nonprofit Pomeroy Center’s services.11am-4pm. http://www.prrcsf.org Gay Club TV Christmas Party @ The Café, 2369 Market Street. All are welcome at this popular Castro location for Gay Club TV’s holiday season party. 6-9pm. http://www.cafesf.com  Winter Solstice Ritual @ First Unitarian Church, 1187 Franklin. The Pagan Interest Circle (PICT) will host a ritual and potluck party, featuring “The Holly King” story. 7-9pm. nancybuffum@gmail.com

23 Sunday ADyke Holiday Party with Ruby’s in Town @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Berkeley.

A predominantly women’s band, Ruby’s in Town plays R&B and soul faves. 3pm. http://www.ivyroom.com Jason Brock’s 6th Annual Holiday Show @ Martuni’s, 4 Valencia Street. Accompanied by Dr. Dee Spencer and special guest Shawn Ryan, vocalist Jason Brock will perform favorite holiday songs and new off-beat selections. 7pm. http://www.jaconbrockvocals.com

24 Monday San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus’ Home for the Holidays @ The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street. An annual Castro tradition on Christmas Eve, this holiday show is a “must see” for many LGBT community members and their friends. Order tickets early to get your preferred performance time among the three presented. 5pm, 7pm and 9pm. http://www.sfgmc.org Queer Christmas Eve Interfaith Service in the Castro @ Harvey Milk Plaza, 2401 Market Street. Hosted by Sacred Space SF, this event is an outdoor gathering to lift up the marginalized, the outcast, the immigrant, the unseen and the “other” with a warm simple meal, hot chocolate and cookie bites as part of Communion. 6-8:30pm. http://www. sacredspacesf.org Christmas Carols and Mass @ Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church, 100 Diamond Street. The annual services at the Castro’s Catholic Church are a longstanding and beloved tradition. 9:30pm carols / 10pm mass. http://www.mhr.org

25 Tuesday Call for Volunteers - Free Christmas Dinner @ First Unitarian Universalist Church, 1187 Franklin. Hosted by Tenderloin Tessie Holiday Dinners, the event includes free dinner with all the trimmings, live entertainment, free gift bags and clothes. 1-4pm. http://www.tenderlointessie.org and tenderlointessie@yahoo.com

26 Wednesday Schooner Freda B Boxing Day Sail @ SF Bay Adventures, Slip 907, Sausalito Yacht Harbor, 100 Bay Street, Sausalito. A traditional cottage pie is included in this sail on San Francisco Bay with Captain Paul and his crew. 11:45am-2:30pm. http://www.schoonerfredab.com

27 Thursday JuicyThots: Holigay Hangover! Goodbye 2018! @ Lookout, 3600 16th Street. This every 4th Thursday event will celebrate the coming New Year and the final Queens of Color showcase for 2018. 9:30pm-1:30am. http://www.lookoutsf.com

28 Friday Kwanzaa: Uniting to Heal Our Family, Community &

Nation @ African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton Street. The Village Project and Community Partners present their 13th annual Kwanzaa celebrations throughout San Francisco. Various times, venues. Through January 1. https://bit.ly/2SID7B4 A Noh Christmas Carol @ NOHspace, 2840 Mariposa Street. Yugen’s adaptation uses the traditional Japanese theatre forms of Noh, Kyogen, Kabuki and the avant-garde dance form Butoh to retell the Dickens classic. 7-9pm. http://www.theatreofyugen.org

29 Saturday Karaoke for a Cause - LGBT Hotline @ The Port Bar, 2023 Broadway, Oakland. 6-9pm. LGBTQIAA and friends will join in an evening of song and drink to support the work of the LGBT National Hotline. 6-9pm. http://www.portbaroakland.com Island Fantasy Drag Show @ The Hobnob, 1313 Park Street, Alameda. Roma Holiday will host her golden 30th birthday with performances by Ava LaShay, Coco Buttah and Snaxxx. 10:30pm-12am. http://www.thehobnobalameda.com Zoolights @ Oakland Zoo, 9777 Golf Links Road. The Zoo’s annual evening holiday event features lit gondolas, a laser light show and much more. 5:30pm on selected dates through January 6. http://www.oaklandzoo.org

30 Sunday Encuentros: Algo Nuevo @ Brava’s Cabaret, 2781 24th Street. An evening of film, live music and dance featuring Naomi Pasmanick Garcia’s directorial debut Encuentros, and La Dona’s music video for her single, “Algo Nuevo.” 7 pm. https://bit.ly/2A9Smfg

Thursdays will present the greatest hits from recent decades with dancing, a photo booth and patio cruising with queer vibes welcoming in 2019. 9pm-2am. http://www.virgilssf.com UHAUL SF 5th Annual All Black Everything New Year’s Eve Party @ Jolene’s Bar, 2700 16th Street. The new bar for women hosts a New Year’s Eve Party presented by UHAUL SF 9pm-2am. http://www.jolenessf.com

JANUARY

1 Tuesday Stonewall Reading and Discussion Group: When Things Fall Apart @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. This group works with various authors and writings over time to explore topics related to harm reduction, healing, and overall well-being. 4pm-5:30pm. http://www.strutsf.org Festival of Light & Gratitude @ North Pointe, Baker Beach. Hosted by the Museum of Joy, this informal family-friendly gathering open to all offers a free candlelit labyrinth walk on the northern end of Baker Beach. 5-7pm. http://www.themuseumorjoy.org

2 Wednesday Stonewall: Damn Daddy! @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. The group provides a space for gay, bi and trans men 50 and older to explore and celebrate the achievement of aging and making the most of it. 2-3:30pm. http://www.strutsf.org

Night Bloom Holiday Lights @ SF Conservatory of Flowers, 100 JF Kennedy Drive, Golden Gate Park. This light and sound exhibition, on selected nights through January 6, provides an opportunity to enjoy the illuminated interior of five galleries. 5-11pm. http://www.conservatoryofflowers.org

3 Thursday Rainbow Toastmasters @ St. Francis Lutheran Church, 152 Church Street. This every Thursday event is the Bay Area’s largest communications skills training resource for the LGBT community. Dinner follows at a local restaurant. 6-7:30pm.   https://bit.ly/2P7Y7mC

4 Friday SF Queer/Leather Happy Hour @ SF Eagle, 398 12th Street. The event is a mixer held every 1st Friday. 6-9pm. http://sf-eagle.com

5 Saturday Blame Sally @ Freight & Salvage, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley. The popular band, including LGBT favorites Pam Delgado and Jeri Jones, returns to The Freight bringing their genre transcending show. 8pm. http://www.thefreight.org

6 Sunday Unleash! Dance Party @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Albany. Legendary DJ Page Hodel plus DJ Mysdefy host this monthly dance party on First Sundays. 4-8pm. http://www.ivyroom.com

31 Monday Mango NYE 2019 @ Mango, 3158 Mission Street. The Bay Area’s original Tea Dance for women and their allies will be packed as usual on New Year’s Eve. 8pm-2am. http://www.elriosf.com Stephanie Teel with the Sound Waves @ Nick’s, 100 Rockaway Beach Avenue, Pacifica. Rocker Stephanie Teel will present a New Year’s Eve show open to all. 8pm-Midnight. http://www.stephanieteel.com New Year’s Eve Party! @ SF Oasis, 298 11th Street. This fourth anniversary party features DJ Sergio Fedasz and special guest Jinkx Monsoon with visuals by Vis-A-Vis and complimentary champagne at midnight. 9pm-3am. http://www.sfoasis.com A Fleetwood Macramé NYE Extravaganza! @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Albany. The popular tribute band brings its inspring show complete with renditions of Fleetwood Mac’s greatest hits. 9pm. http://www.ivyroom.com New Year’s Eve Greatest Hits @ Virgil’s Sea Room, 3152 Mission Street. Throwback S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 20, 2018