Queer Query v1i1 by South Florida Gay News

Editor in Chief: Jae Kanella Markis

ueer uery H T U O Y E H T Y B H T U O Y E H OF R T Jae Kanella

elcome to The Queer Query's first issue. What you will find ahead is a collection of pieces by folks all across the rainbow spectrum, and we encourage readers to keep an open mind. We have included lesser known sexualities and gender identities into our anthology, many of which aren't immediately recognizable to the mainstream gay community. For this reason, we have included resources at the end of most articles, and a terminology page for readers to crosscheck. At our core, we are a youth-driven outlet for queer voices. Our content is written, designed, and ran by teenagers and young adults in the LGBTQ plus community. We aim to control our own narratives. We aim to share accurate perspectives of our stories, as told by the storytellers themselves. And finally, we aim to spread empowerment for our fellow queer kids. We are the embodiment of the millennial shift. For most of us, not a single state allowed marriage equality when we were first brought onto this planet. Not a single queer person could serve openly in the military. DOMA was still in effect. It's the year 2015, and now more than 70 percent of the nation live in a state where people can get married regardless of gender. We have struck down DADT (Although work still needs to be done for our transgender siblings), and the Supreme Court will vote this June on a final marriage ruling. Half of our generation recognizes gender is on a spectrum, and our stories are getting represented on mass media more often than ever. Our president is the first to openly support LGBT people while in office, and the first to openly address us on the State of the Union address. (Along with the word Instagram. Next goal: asexuality, perhaps.) We have seen openly gay and lesbian prime ministers take office

June 3, 2015

Volume 1, Issue 1

Writers: Theodor Kitsch Emma Zagkos Robin S.Y. Rodrigo Mendez Mariah Rivera Violet Viridis K. Mathias B. Gelwasser Jamie Fowler, Meaghan Iholts Photography: Brianna Soukup J.R. Davis Advisor: Jason Parsley Designer: Brendon Lies

Markis

as world leaders. We have seen openly queer musicians, actors, and artists take their places as public role models. We have seen kids our own ages become leaders in various movements. Every single one of us is important. Don't ever believe that you, dear reader, cannot alter the events of history, or be the tide bearer of change. Apathy is an ugly tool people use to numb us. People will tell us we're superficial, vapid, or not socially aware. Reducing us to caricatures is what's used to disempower us. We aren't going to be suppressed. Don't ever stop being skeptical. Don't ever stop raging. Most importantly: don't ever stop fighting. We were born from the information age, and that's what we'll uphold. We will fight against biases floating around aimed to distort our ideas, or our existence. We wish to thank our associates, South Florida Gay News and Compass Gay and Lesbian Community Center, for creating a collaboration opportunity for the talented young minds who participated in this project. We wish to give gratitude to our writers, artists, photographers, and beyond. Finally, we wish to thank our readers. Much thanks to you for picking up this paper, whether out of curiosity or intrigue, and investing time on our mind space. Indifference is the active form of destruction, after all. Without thought, we’re static. Without action, we’re dead. Sincerely, Jae Kanella Markis Editor-in-Chief of The Queer Query soflagaynews Page 1 • June 3, 2015//

SouthFloridaGayNews // SFGN.com // 6.3.2015 //

QUEER QUERY feature

GENDERQUEER POLITICS A Gender Not Listed Here

e, xem, xir. Ve, ver, vis. They, them, theirs. All of the above are gender neutral pronouns. According to Fusion’s Massive Millennial Poll, which polled 1,000 people between the ages of 18 and 34, found that 50 percent of millennials felt that gender was actually a spectrum, and that some people fall outside conventional categories. The westernized concept of two genders is an outdated one. Throughout history, many cultures have found gender as non-static, like the hijras of India. The Ashtime from Ethiopia. The Sekrata from Madagascar. The Muxhe from the Zapotec people of the Oaxacan peninsula. Even Native Americans had their own concept: Two Spirit. Richard O’Brien, creator of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” identifies as non-binary. Ruby Rose, actor for the upcoming season of “Orange is the New Black,” came out as genderfluid. Even Miley Cyrus is speculated to identify outside of the gender binary, although she doesn’t officially use a label to identify herself this way yet. Gender is not static, and to treat it like two polar labels - one or the other, with no room for exploration - is ridiculous. Gender-neutral pronouns allow us to respect individuals who identify outside of the gender binary, who may or may not want to use gendered pronouns for their everyday living. Some of the writers for this newsletter use they/them and ze/zem, for example. When one takes out biological sex out of the equation, and takes gender identity as the marker of a person alone, the plausibility of genders beyond man or woman start to make sense. Biological sex is the body a person is born with, whether that’s male, female, or intersex. Chromosomes are unchangeable at our current state in science, but that shouldn’t stop one from transitioning, if that is one’s wish. Full transition isn’t always necessary for those who identify in between genders, or regardless of gender. It is personal to the individual, and many experience dysphoria regardless of plans to transition, or not. Dysphoria is the dissatisfaction and distress of one’s body image. Dysphoria occurs when one’s gender is not acknowledged or respected for the gender that they wish to be seen as. For many non-binary and transgender folk, this drives them to come out socially - with updated names, preferred pronouns (not always gender neutral), changing their outward presentation to masculine, feminine, or androgynous (although not required!), and allows them total autonomy with their identity. So, is it necessary? Is this separate category redundant when one could identify as simply “gender non-conforming” with their birth gender? Many simply can’t be ID’ed as their birth gender in peace, because it still feels wrong. Non-binary gender identities are as real as the people who self-identify that way. Gender is the intuition, the instinct, and the essence of an individual, and how they fit into society. Gender is a social construct, but a very active one. The segregation of gender norms are shown to be more damaging than helpful, as shown by Jody L. Herman, Williams Institute Manager of Transgender Research, and her Gendered Restrooms and Minority Stress report. In 2008, the National Center for Transgender

// 6.3.2015 // SFGN.com //

soflagaynews //

SouthFloridaGayNews Page 2 • June 3, 2015

Theodor Kitsch

Equality (NCTE) and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (the Task Force) launched a nationwide study of anti-transgender discrimination in the United States. Twenty percent responded by saying their gender was fluid, with part time as one gender, part time as another, and 13 percent responded with a gender not listed in the study. In a later survey that went into more depth of those 13 percent that identified as A Gender Not Listed Here, the survey found that these individuals were faced with more discrimination, even within the transgender and general LGBTQ community. Intersectional exclusion within a movement causes erasure, and thus, destroys the foundation of a safe space for all. We must emphasize inclusion. Segregating the movement because others seem more “radical” is never a proper excuse. For even those within early LGBTQ history seemed radical, once upon a time. The umbrella term for these gender rebels is usually genderqueer, or non-binary. These individuals have an entire diversity within and outside of gender. For example: Bigender people, who may identify wholly as a girl for a period of time, while they may identify as a boy another day, month, or year. Or even no gender as a default, and then switching into binary genders at any time. (Though the label demi boy and demi girl is a more fitting description for this.) Agender people don’t identify as any gender, but may express themselves masculinely, femininely, or in a gender neutral way. Gender fluid individuals feel that their gender fluctuates, and may not always be pinned down as a specific one. There are a dozen other non-binary gender identities other than this. These individuals don’t use their identity as a political statement most of the time, but for many on the transgender spectrum, simply existing makes them a political statement. Whether voluntarily or not. We must not turn away fellow queer folk from the mainstream community, simply because they seem “out there” binary-wise, or radical for simply embracing themselves. Going beyond constricting gender roles creates an enlightened society. When equality for all genders becomes indiscernible, not only in wage gaps, but also through double standards, like destructive body images or “pink tax” - only then will we all be equal. This includes both gender binary folk who are proudly comfortable with themselves, and non-conforming folk who should equally feel comfortably proud in their own skin. Gender-neutral pronouns do not destroy gender, nor undermine it. They are tools to enhance it. Gender variance is a beautiful thing. For more information, check out: Sam Killermann’s Genderbread Person Chart, GenderQueerID, PBS’s A Map of Gender, Ashley Mardell’s ABCs of LGBT series on YouTube, AVEN’s Gender Forums, Judith Butler’s books on gender theory, The Trevor Project, and Dr. Doe’s Sexplanations series on YouTube. Theodor Kitsch is an upcoming college student, art enthusiast, and queer writer. When not attempting to deconstruct the patriarchy, Theodor finds himself marathoning 80s movies, reading about astrology, and filmmaking short films in his backyard. (And before you ask: He's a Taurus.)

E C A & Q Emma Zagkos

o, the LGBTQA scene is pretty great. People who have experienced being stereotyped and criticized by others tend to be accepting and empathic people. Unfortunately, sometimes even queer people are guilty of assuming certain things about asexuals, and may altogether exclude them from safe spaces because of these stereotypes. Hopefully, hearing from a living, breathing asexual can eliminate some misconstrued rumors and stereotypes. Do asexual people date or get married? Certainly! Not feeling sexual attraction does not mean that it is impossible to have romantic feelings for someone, nor does it hinder an individual’s ability to. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction do not come in a battery back; being asexual does not mean that you are aromantic (not romantic), and vice-versa. Sex is not necessary for every relationship. Are all asexuals inherently repulsed by sex? In simple terms, much like people who experience sexual attraction, asexuality is best described as a spectrum, and not

QUEER QUERY feature

Asexuality explained one person is the same as the other. According to an online survey conducted in 2014, 55 percent of people who identify as asexual are sex repulsed, 30 percent are neutral, and 15 percent are positive, meaning that they are open to and not bothered by intercourse. These three labels are also open to interpretations. Short answer: No. Is asexuality synonymous with celibacy? This question, as well as many others regarding asexuality, assumes that not only is being asexual a choice, but that all asexuals are abstinent; neither of these are true. I enjoy holding hands and kissing, but I have no desire to have sex. Am I ace? From how it sounds, that seems to be the case, although you are the only one who can give yourself a label. There are different forms of attraction experienced by the human body. Desiring intimate physical contact that isn’t sex is called sensual attraction (an appeal to the senses), and it is

completely normal to experience other forms of attraction (romantic, platonic) and still identify as asexual. Now that you know a little more about the A in LGBTQA, hopefully you’ll see us as people who are just as valid as you are. Getting a better understanding of a group of people, even just learning their jargon, helps them feel so much more welcomed. So yeah, sexuality can be complicated, and for some, asexuality is somehow even more mind-boggling. No fear, buddy; you'll be an Ace pro in no time!

QUEER QUERY feature

THREE’S COMPANY

A Brief Introduction to Polyamory

hat is polyamory? The word polyamory comes from the root words poly, meaning many, and amor, meaning love. A polyamorous relationship is a relationship that is composed of more than two people. Polyamorous relationships come in many forms and dynamics. It can be between one male and multiple females, one female with multiple males, a mix of genders and individuals all dating one another, or anything in between. The dynamics in a polyamorous relationship differs from relationship to relationship. In some cases, it could be one straight male with multiple straight women, a straight man with bi women, a lesbian woman with multiple females, or any combination one can think of. The dynamics for a polyamorous relationship can go many different ways depending on the orientations and genders of the people involved. What’s the difference between polyamory, polygamy, and swingers? Polygamy is when one person is married to multiple people. It is not yet legal in America to be married to more than one person at a time. Being married to more than one person is known as bigamy and is illegal. A polyamorous couple may have a marriage ceremony or a commitment ceremony, but not get legally married. Some couples are okay with just that, and stay in a simply non-official status. “Swingers” are when a couple openly has sexual intimacy with people outside of their relationship. How do you make a polyamorous relationship work? Having more than one partner has difficulties in itself.

Robin S.Y. Making a monogamous relationship work depends on open communication and trust, and the same applies to nonmonogamous relationships. In a polyamorous relationship, you have more people that all need to work together to make the relationship work. Everyone involved in the relationship needs to put in effort. Everything that you need in a monogamous relationship, you absolutely need in a polyamorous relationship: trust, honesty, intimacy, communication, addressing issues such as jealousy, differences, and building through general issues with each other. So, what do you do if you think you might be polyamorous? The only way to know if polyamory is for you is to try it. Experiment, and see if it works for you. The first relationship you get into may or may not work out, just like any relationship. If you develop jealousy, that’s something you need to work on. It is not uncommon for a polyamorous relationship to have jealousy in it, but if you have trouble sharing partners, polyamory may not be right for you. There are many ways to get into a polyamorous relationship. Many turn to online dating, and websites like PolyMatchMaker and BeyondTwo cater to these communities. Check to see if there are local groups in one’s area specifically for polyamorous people. Or just ask someone, for one never knows if another would be willing to consider adding another person to their relationship. In conclusion, whichever path one takes – just like in any relationship – be safe and consensual. soflagaynews Page 3 • June 3, 2015//

Robin S.Y. is an arts and craft enthusiast, graphic artist, and origami champion. She is in a committed, polyamorous relationship, enjoys raw foods, and loves her husband dearly. For more information about polyamory, check out: PolyInfo.org

SouthFloridaGayNews // SFGN.com // 6.3.2015 //

QUEER QUERY local

Breaking

D U O L T U O A R OPE

uth o Y Q T B G L r o f s Down Barrier

An interview with Dr. Jourdan Laine Howell

Mariah Rivera and J. Kanella Markis

hat is Palm Beach Opera?

What were the reactions you received?

We’re a non-profit organization dedicated to producing live opera at an international standard of excellence. One major goal of ours is to enrich the life of the communities we serve, by offering a diverse selection of educational programs. Tell us about yourself, and your position. I’m Dr. Jourdan Laine Howell, Education and Community Engagement Manager at Palm Beach Opera. My job is to oversee educational opportunities in the community, such as PBO Studio or Opera 101, and to develop new programs that we think are needed in our community. What is Opera OUT Loud? My future. (Laughs.) It’s a project that uncovers real world connections between opera, and the LGBTQ community. At its core, Opera OUT Loud will catalogue thought-provoking work, will link LGBTQ-youth to affirming industry professionals, and offer those who participate a meaningful connection to the world of opera. Outcomes of that will be raising awareness about social issues addressed in the libretto readings, or find ones that should be addressed. How does it all work? Opera will be the vehicle for dialogue, essentially. The primary component would be doing libretto reads with LGBTQ youth. That’s the kicker. Otherwise, it’s database for LGBTQ industry professionals, and their stories. The active component is you. It matters to us so much, what the youth think. It’s important to make sure that everybody is aware of the connections that they might have, and that their stories could be told through opera. The spotlights of LGBTQ libretto readers will also be a venue to study and discuss. It will always be 100 percent youth-focused. How would you describe Opera Out Loud in three words or less? Exhilarating. Youth-driven. Overdue.

I had a meeting with Leah Wilson, who oversees education for Opera America - one of the largest service operations for opera companies in North America - and she was so excited by the fact that the genesis of this project came from a conversation with a youth learner. She told me: “Oh my goodness, how has this not been done before?” Everyone’s shocked by how this isn’t a thing yet. It’s long over-due. What do you have in the works? There’s this incredible work that debuted last September, called “As One.” You know what’s killer? I got in contact with the composer Laura Kaminsku and librettist Mark Campbell, who created an opera based on filmmaker Kimberly Reed's life. Before she transitioned, she considered herself the “golden child” in high school - star quarterback, valedictorian, and so on. She transitioned in college. “As One” is based on her story. If you guys choose that, it will be such a brilliant work to start with. Where did you ﬁnd the inspiration to create this program? You could definitely reference yourself right here. A group from Compass GLCC(Gay and Lesbian Community Center) was attending Opera 101 for “Enemies: A Love Story.” During intermission, I checked up on the youth to see what they thought. Mariah Rivera mentioned that the musical was decent, but it was heteronormative. It wasn’t relatable. This was a new term for me. I looked this up online before I went to bed. And later, when I woke up… You know people in the movies, after they have an epiphany, and jolt out of bed with their eyes wide open? It was like that. I walked away from that performance thinking to myself: “Well, opera is very heteronormative, isn’t it? But throughout history, gender variance and sexuality found itself in theater. Pants rolls, women who played in the roles of men. Castrati, men singing for female roles, and beyond. Gender bending has been around since the beginning of time. There’s such a deep history, already known to us. Opera OUT Loud came to me immediately. It was kismet. (Arabic, Turkish, and Urdu for “fate”.)

What could this become? It’s a pioneer program. I imagine that it’s going to have national scope. A community linker, of sorts. We want to give the youth a voice. If everyone gets on board, which I think they will - if national opera companies adopt this model, it could become a national movement.

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Photos by Brianna Soukup.

For more info on Palm Beach Opera, visit the ofﬁcial web page: PBopera.org For more info on Opera OUT Loud, visit the main website: OperaOUTloud.org

soflagaynews //

SouthFloridaGayNews Page 4 • June 3, 2015

CONDO ZODIAC:

MY CELESTIAL JOURNEY

A gender neutral short story

QUEER QUERY short story

Rodrigo Mendez

Author’s Note: Rodrigo is the type of author who wants zir audience to enter zir world, and enjoy what it has to offer. Ze uses a gender-neutral method to make sure anyone can relate to the narrator, of any gender identity. With the use of gender neutral pronouns, the reader will venture into this new world, and will not be tied to zir objective view. Gender-neutral pronouns are for those who don't identify themselves as either male or female. Rodrigo is using gender-neutral pronouns for the celestial zodiac signs, such as this Aries story. A guide to genderneutral pronouns for this story, for those unfamilliar with them: Ze is He/She, Zem is Him/Her, and Zir is His/Her. With gender-neutral pronouns, the reader can feel as attached to the zodiac encounters just as the narrator does as this story. Rodrigo wishes you all to enjoy this short story that ze created for you.

am wanted. By zem. Ze won me over as if I were some prize. This Aries entity is the first partner I take to bed where I’m self-aware. Self-aware of what, you ask? The first time I am self-aware of this experiment I started in my head: Which zodiac is the best in bed? I just realized I am still near zirs apartment. How I got here is none of my concern, but getting out of here alive is my first priority. All I remember was being harassed at the club by some stranger who wouldn’t stop following me. The stranger got mad because I didn’t dance with him, and he started to touch me. Then ze came to my rescue like a knight in shining armor. Well, actually, in a red plaid shirt, black skinny jeans, and some nice kicks. Ze had short, red, spiked-up hair, a defining jaw line, and domineering eyes. Within moments, ze punched the stranger harassing me. In one second, everyone turned around to see what had happened. The world stopped, and the spotlight was on me, the stranger laying flat on the ground, and ze. Ze grabbed my hand, and we ran out of the scene. We could hear the stranger getting up, and chasing us through the crowd. Lucky for me, my knight of the night knows the area, and we ended up in some parking garage. The stranger couldn’t find us now. “Thanks for saving me and all, but I should get going home.” I told zem. As I started to walk away to look for an exit in this dark garage, ze grabbed my hand again. “Let me give you a ride home. You look a little too tipsy to find it on your own,” ze says to me. “I don’t want to put you through so much. I will just call a cab, and-” As I was suggesting this, ze shut me up by kissing my hand. “I want to take you home,” ze interrupted me. I was a little bit tipsy, and by the feeling ze was emitting, there looked like no way I could have gone home by myself. “Where is your car?” I asked. “On the second floor. There isn’t an elevator, so let’s go through the stairs.” As I walked towards the stairs, ze picks me up and carries me all the way to zir car. Ze places me there as if some trophy ze won. The drive is silent. We end up at their apartment, located within some strange building on the first floor. The building was so dark. “Just follow me. I know this place by the back of my hand.” I am making all these weird turns, and we suddenly stop. Ze lets go of my hand, and I feel all lost in this dark room, and I can’t see anything. I am standing still, being cautious.

“Okay, this isn’t funny. I want to go to home and sleep.” As I am saying this, ze suddenly pushes me with all of their force and I fall onto a bed. Ze gets on the bed and turns me around, before covering my mouth with zirs gentle fingers. “There is no reason to sleep yet. If you’re looking for humor, I will make you laugh.” Ze overwhelmed my senses all at once, in a delightful way: ze started kissing me, stopping in between to blow raspberries on my stomach, and then tickling me. All three made me laugh. As I was laughing, I noticed my clothes were falling beside us on the floor. Ze must have done this while distracting me. Out of nowhere, I hear this loud bell ring. It chimed three times. Magic happened within that timeframe, and the rest isn’t to be discussed. Now I am there on their bed, and it's 12:34 p.m. I felt sore, yet rejuvenated. I looked at them. Ze has such a beautiful mouth, and a nice build from top to bottom. I thought I won the jackpot. I would have stayed a little longer, except zir apartment intimidated me. Ze has a shelf with all the trophies ze won since kindergarten, for almost every main sport. One for basketball, soccer, football, baseball, tennis, hockey and many more. Zir gym equipment was all over the place. Although, zir desk looked like it is in good condition. The trashcan was filled with protein shakes, and ingredients to make protein shakes. All this protein they took paid off, for they have a perfect, lean build. Ze isn’t some muscle head who looks like the thumb on your hand. If I were to have some sort of relationship with this person, I would probably be a health nut. Maybe in better shape. I am at the peak of their mountain right now, zirs habitat, and I have to climb back down. I must leave quietly, to prevent a single rockslide from happening around me. I cannot get attached. So I left the apartment while they were in the shower, and I got a cab to take me home. Which I thank you for, by the way. Thank you for listening to me, kind cab driver. Even though you’re not speaking. Rough day? Just as I thought I left the mountain safe and sound, I got a text that caused a huge avalanche in my psyche. Let me read it aloud to you. ‘Last night was magical here at my place. Next time you leave, I want a goodbye kiss from you, doll face. Stay safe and don’t get hurt. I won’t be able to rescue you all the time.’ How did ze get my number, you wonder? Ze probably asked me last night, and I said yes. Why? Because when an Aries wants something, ze gets it. Looks like I left their mountain with one question. Oh, bother. I wanted to prevent this. Now I’m curious: what was zir name? Oh, it’s my stop now? Thanks again, really. Here’s a tip. soflagaynews Page 5 • June 3, 2015//

Rodrigo is an individual who always lives in the moment. Ze loves to listen to stories, and is an art lover. Ze follows the ﬂow of life, even if ze doesn't know where it is going.

SouthFloridaGayNews // SFGN.com // 6.3.2015 //

SELF CARE TIPS FOR MENTAL HEA LTH

QUEER QUERY health

Jae Kanella Markis

ere is a reference guide for those who suffer from mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and self-harm. We don’t cover tips for all mental health conditions unfortunately, and we may not be the most comprehensive, but we hope to give some helpful advice regardless! We must disclaim that we are not health professionals, however, so please act with your own discretion. First, let’s start this off by saying: It takes bravery to admit that you have an issue, and even more so to reach out. To those that are suffering: it is not your fault. My heart goes out to anyone who doesn’t have the resources they need to treat their mental illness properly. Asking for help is braver than suffering in silence. Just remember: you are not your illness. It is a significant part of you, yes, but you are so much more than that. Here’s all of my love. Tips for those with anxiety: Look up coping strategies for panic attacks, and how to recognize when you’re having one. It’s usually recommended to stay where you are, focus on something non-threatening, visualize inwardly, and use breathing techniques as a coping mechanism. If you have one while driving, please pull over for your safety. Recognize your triggers, and avoid them until you’re ready to work through them. Disassociate with anyone who forces you to confront a phobia when you’re not ready. Simply “facing the fear” head-on with no preparation won’t make it go away. This will likely traumatize another human being. If you take medication, make sure that you take it as prescribed. If you ever find yourself panicking over medication complications,

// 6.3.2015 // SFGN.com //

imagined or not, use Web MD’s medication complication tool to assure yourself that your doctor did not make a mistake. Allow yourself to take breaks from your environment, as needed. Tell friends ahead of time if you have a signal, so that they can get you out of a situation that overwhelms you in public or makes you extremely uncomfortable. Limit intake for caffeine or alcohol products, since either could trigger anxiety symptoms if taken in large amounts. Tips for those with depression: Make sure to take your medication as prescribed. Download apps that remind you to take pills. Even if it’s a birth control app. Do whatever you can to constantly take your medication. That’s supremely important when it comes to managing this illness. Reward yourself verbally whenever you accomplish something, whether big or small. “Hey, I didn’t complete everything I wanted to do today, but I showered and got dressed this morning. That’s fucking awesome.” Or even: “I survived this long, and I want to see myself break the record tomorrow.” You will have bad days, but this doesn’t detract from the progress you’ve made through all of the months or years. People with depression are more likely to suffer from insomnia. For my fellow insomniacs out there: try melatonin. If getting regular sleep is a constant battle, absolutely visit your doctor. Aim for eight hours if you can, but if not, take some power naps throughout the day! Challenge negative thinking. Journal any negative thoughts that may overwhelm you, and challenge them with statements that affirm your positive traits. (No, seriously. Do this, folks.) Our mind plays tricks on us when we’re down in the dumps. We become convinced that the world hates us, or pities us. You mustn’t allow yourself to go down that path. Challenge your negative thoughts. Practice relaxation techniques, and give yourself some well-deserved TLC. When you have depression, doing simple tasks or activities takes more energy to complete than someone who doesn’t suffer from it. It’s absolutely vital to unwind, and do something soflagaynews //

to clear your mind at the end of the day. Whether that’s from yoga, having bubble baths, watching cute animal videos, or anything that involves R&R for yourself, definitely do it. Reach out to people you trust when it gets too rough. Vulnerability is terrifying, but your mental health is more important than any embarrassing discussions you may have. You’re a human being, and you exist. Don’t ever shy away from existing. You have a right to be on this planet, and you’re human like the rest of us. Reach out to someone. Tips for those with eating disorders: Surround yourself with body-positive images, media, and role models. Most trans people suffer from dysphoria because their gender identity doesn’t match their outward appearance, but in this case, many people with eating disorders have dysphoria that stems from their body not matching their own sense of self. Unlike transgender issues though, transitioning to one’s desired weight cannot help someone with an eating disorder. Encouraging destructive body images will kill a human being. Challenge the negative thoughts you’ve been raised under, challenge all of the double standards society holds against your body, and learn to love it despite all of its perceived flaws. Relapses don’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t detract from everything you’ve accomplished so far in your journey to body positivity. Have relapse prevention plans in place for the bad days, and don’t beat yourself up too badly if it happens. If you cannot get yourself to eat three full meals, try to eat six smaller meals throughout the day. Make sure they’re nutritious, and full of fiber. Your metabolism slows down when you starve yourself, and can actually force one to gain more weight. People don’t believe boys can have eating disorders, but that’s a fallacy. Boys, make sure you give yourself credit for all of the hurdles you face as a eating disorder survivor. We’re proud of you! Finally, I want you all to grab a hat, a pen, and some pieces of paper. For a week, I want you to add small traits you like about yourself, silly jokes, or funny stories that have happened in the past. Then, when you’re feeling down, open it up and visualize on it.

SouthFloridaGayNews Page 6 • June 3, 2015

You may not be happy with your current progress, but self-love is the purest love. Tips for those who self-harm: Self-harm can be a way of coping with life stresses, but it isn’t the only way. It may help you express feelings you can’t put into words, distract you from emotional pain, or release pent up emotions. But you can get there without hurting yourself, if you’re willing. If you’re ready to take the next step, read further. From the website, www.HelpGuide.org, and their article about coping strategies: “If you cut to express pain and intense emotions: Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint. Express your feelings in a journal. Compose a poem or song to say what you feel. Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up. Listen to music. If you cut to calm and soothe yourself: Take a bath or hot shower. Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat. Wrap yourself in a warm blanket. Massage your neck, hands, and feet. Listen to soothing videos based on nature sounds. If you cut because you feel disconnected and numb: Call a friend, take a cold shower, hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg, chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel. Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board.” Finally, I want to recommend reaching out to mental health communities online, ones that focus on aiding those who suffer from similar mental conditions. Recommended websites: Psych Central forums, TrevorSpace, MentalIllnessMouse on Tumblr, and Ask Alice’s Mental Health forums. Stay brave. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 The Trevor Hotline: 1-866-488-7386

Jae Kanella Markis is an aspiring novelist, graduating homeschooled senior, and editor-in-chief at The Queer Query. Their most recent project includes The Safe Closet Clothing Exchange, which you can learn more about at www.facebook.com/TheSCCE.

QUEER QUERY media

QUEER QUERY feature

LGBTQ CENSORSHIP IN CHILDREN’S MEDIA Theodor Kitsch

A M M E L I D E Z O O THE B

Social Exclusion of Somber Spaces

Violet Viridis

“P

aranorman,” an animated featurelength film released in 2012, boldly stood against LGBTQ erasure by showing a scene with the female character, Courtney, asking the jock out on a strongly implied date. He instead responded: “You would like my boyfriend. He’s a total chick flick nut.” Dozens of advocacy groups commended the production company, Laika, for the small step. Some shows never make it past strong speculation, or behind-the-scenes controversy. On Cartoon Network’s “Adventure Time,” the characters Princess Bumblegum and Marceline the Vampire Queen are an example of this. Initially featured as former best friends in the episode “What Was Missing,” the YouTube promo channel related to “Adventure Time,” named Mathematical, speculated that there was romantic subtext between the two after the episode aired. When the video went viral, the long-running YouTube Channel was discontinued, the video was removed, and a man was allegedly fired. Introducing concepts of same sex love is significant for inclusion. Showing healthy, diverse relationships show children that their families are being represented. Future LGBTQidentifying individuals are shown that their feelings are not wrong. When “Legend of Korra” confirmed that the leading ladies entered a relationship after the series finale, thousands of fans rejoiced. The leading women, both who were the ATLAequivalent of Asian and Inuit ancestry, are named Korra and Asami. Both walked hand in hand into a spirit portal, ending the series. The creators later confirmed that they did indeed enter a romantic relationship after the series. Before they spoke out, the finale divided the entire fandom: Did we witness a ship composed of two bisexual women of color become canon, in an animated children’s show? Or did we witness a strong friendship? (Note: “ship” is a fan term for a romantic pairing in television, film, books, or other fictional media. “Canon” means anything legitimate or confirmed in an official narrative.) One of the creators mentioned on his blog: “Our intention with the last scene was to make

it as clear as possible that yes, Korra and Asami have romantic feelings for each other. The moment where they enter the spirit portal symbolizes their evolution from being friends to being a couple." The final scene parallels directly to the ending of its series predecessor, “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” where the main characters Aang and Katara stand hand in hand, before starting their own romantic relationship. This is a significant victory for the LGBTQ community, no matter how subtle. There is an unsettling erasure of LGBT people within children’s media. Opponents argue that “LGBT issues are adult issues, and exposing these concepts too early will confuse children,” but many experts find this reasoning illogical. In 2013, “Good Luck Charlie” made history by portraying the first lesbian couple on their Disney Channel sitcom. The couple portrayed were two moms, who brought over their kid for a play date. Many conservative groups attempted to petition against the episode airing. A Disney Channel spokesperson told TV Guide that the controversial episode was "developed to be relevant to kids and families around the world and to reflect themes of diversity and inclusiveness." After Neil Gaiman’s children’s book, “The Sleeper and the Spindle,” went under controversy for showing a princess kissing awake another princess, professionals rose against the criticism. Suran Dickson, the CEO of Diversity Role Models, said: “The ‘Sleeper and the Spindle’ simply shows that not every princess will be awoken by a prince. This helps children understand different relationships, as well as giving representation to those young people with same-sex parents and can therefore reduce bullying.” A recurring theme seems to play out: with the progression of social change, our media must slowly match with the times. Censorship occurs because of an intolerant world, but rising against it gives a greater social consciousness for our children and families. For our media is a tool for knowledge, and knowledge is power. To show that love doesn't have to follow a norm, even to young minds? That is a powerful notion.

Theodor Kitsch is an upcoming college student, art enthusiast, and writer. When not attempting to deconstruct the patriarchy, Theodor finds himself marathoning 80s movies, reading about astrology, and filmmaking short films in his backyard. (And before you ask: he’s a Taurus.)

ay bars are vital within our narrative. Gay bars were the forefront environments of social change, where both gay and transgender activists encouraged uprisings for our rights. Gathering places for the gay community have operated as far back as the 17th Century, where drinking establishments at least tolerated openly gay clientele in several major European cities. Throughout the centuries, gay bars were raided, but still persisted. A game changing example were the 1969 Stonewall Riots, which took place at the Stonewall Inn. Historically, the importance of these places are significant to our stories. But this leaves the question: should our safe, alcohol-centered queer spaces evolve? The Center for American Progress released a new issue brief on “Why the Gay and Transgender Population Experiences Higher Rates of Substance Use,” and what can be done to reduce these rates. Specifically, the brief mentions that an estimated 20 to 30 percent of gay and transgender people abuse substances, compared to about 9 percent of the general population. Additionally, twenty five percent of gay and transgender people abuse alcohol, compared to 5 to 10 percent of the general population. Besides that fact, many young LGBT people who aren’t old enough to drink may find themselves barred from the supportive atmospheres they need. This is especially important in areas that do not have LGBT plus community centers, support groups, or GLCC’s. Even outside of community centers, LGBT teenagers and young adults need appropriate spaces where they are safe from substance abuse.

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Another point is that substance abuse survivors need supportive spaces to prevent them from relapsing. The fact that our history seeps so deeply in the presence of bars and nightclubs makes this problem very unique to our community. The first step to working past this issue is to recognize it, and then create LGBT programs to specifically fight substance abuse. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, roughly 8 percent of all Americans use illegal drugs and 20 percent binge drink. However, when compared to their heterosexual counterparts, LGBT people are twice as likely to binge drink and five times as likely to drive while intoxicated. In South Florida, there are programs like Lambda South in Fort Lauderdale, Lambda North in Lake Worth, and The Pride Institute. Lambda North and South provide meeting space for community meetings, conferences, and communication between groups and service organizations of Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs. The Pride Institute of Florida at Fort Lauderdale Hospital provides likewise inpatient and outpatient treatment. Alternatives to gay bars and nightclubs are already growing within the country. In various cities, LGBT bookshops, coffee shops, sports leagues, and establishments are opening for the wider gay communities. In the Palm Beaches, there’s a business network meant for LGBT-friendly partners or businesses that cater to us. But as our community grows past social exclusion in the wider world, we must fight against inside exclusion of our own LGBT plus brothers, sisters, and community members. As our narrative grows, so should our safe spaces.

SouthFloridaGayNews // SFGN.com // 6.3.2015 //

QUEER QUERY music

M E G S ' T E N R E T THE IN

Mariah Rivera

n the early summer of 2014, Ryn Weaver uploaded her first song to the music-streaming website, SoundCloud. The song was a collaboration between Weaver, Benny Blanco, Michael Angelakos(Of Passion Pit), and Charli XCX. “OctaHate” quickly gained the attention of big name music blogs and independent music aficionados alike. Receiving share after share and listen after listen, the song blew up and was often the pick for a summer song. When stripped down to only the lyrics – “OctaHate” tells the story of a relationship gone awry. With lyrics like: “Deep in the haze Of your love high/I used to soar on The live wire” to “From the day I saw My heart start breaking/ No one saved me,” it tells the story of love found and love lost. It some how manages to tell it in a very creative, semi-elusive way, all while staying true to the pop format, with the catchy bridge and repetitive chorus helping its adherence to the form. Where the production portion of the song comes in to play is also where the “Summer Jam” title stems from. Heavy on the synth, combined with the perfect amount of percussion, and the addition of loops and multiple layers, the song becomes light and whimsical. Thus leading you

QUEER QUERY feature

TAYLOR SWIFT’S GOT STYLE F

Taylor Swift. Photo: David Shankbone.

Ryn Weave r. Facebook.

Ryn Weaver’s debut LP is set to come out on June 16th, and with a #1 on a Billboard chart, numerous festival shows, and two music videos under her belt, you deﬁnitely don’t want to sleep on this one!

or the latter half of 2014, the music world belonged to Taylor Swift. Her two big songs, off her “1989” album, dominated the top of the charts from September all the way to the last few weeks of December. Despite her conquering of Billboard, however, both songs exhibited two opposite, but near crippling problems. Her first number 1 single that year, “Shake It Off,” had an excellent beat and tune, but was a lyrical mess. The song’s content was juvenile, and the rap segment was bewildering to listen to. Her second song, “Blank Space,” proved to be a considerably better song word wise, but had a strange, dark tone and poor production work that made it grating to listen to multiple times. Now, Swift has released a third single off the “1989” album, called “Style.” Despite not being quite the chart smashers of previous outings(As of this writing, it is number 7 on the Billboard Hot 100), “Style” has eliminated the issues plaguing “Shake it Off” and “Blank Space.” It should be considered not only the best song off the “1989” album, but one of the best modern Taylor Swift songs to date. While not as bright as “Shake it Off,” the tone and production work of “Style” is appropriately whimsical and dream like. Also wonderfully done is Taylor’s singing, though this is to be expected. Her voice is not forceful, but still strong in tone, and is often quiet in sections of the chorus, enhancing the beat. More importantly, Taylor Swift’s lyrics, often her strongest // 6.3.2015 // SFGN.com //

to imply its “Feel-Good” status. If I had to describe it, I’d say that it’s like the Funhouse Mirror Room of music - It’s masked with the idea of fun and adventure, but can easily bring out your biggest fears in an instant. It deals with very valid emotions and plays on some peoples’ biggest fear: losing love. Along with “OctaHate,” Ryn has released an EP called Promises which consists of four songs that are as equally satisfying as “OctaHate,” and follow along the lines of lyrics that stem from genuine human emotions paired with an exciting pop-esque beat. My personal favorite is “Stay Low.” Her vibrato is the shining star of the song, and her lyric pattern - along with the arrangement of the song - is rather satisfying.

A Music Review

A Music Revi

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B. Gelwasser quality, are completely on point. One of the reasons she excels at this is her use of description; boys named Drew, the roles and lives of her and her rival, etcetera. As noted earlier, one of the weaker aspects of “Shake It Off” was its lyrics, which dropped many of Swift’s best qualities in favor of lines such as “Hella good hair” and “My ex-man.” “Style,” by contrast, makes excellent use of description to paint a vivid picture of what Taylor considers to be a perfect relationship. It is not one that exists, but one that would be ideal for her, a moment captured in time of blissful, idealistic love. It gives the image of two young lovers, kissing on a hill in the summer for eternity. This is helped especially by the chorus, which gives a James Dean-esque look for the hypothetical lover, and leaves her own clothing up to the listener’s imagination. Swift’s lyrics, as usual, paint a vivid picture of a relationship, one blissful moment in time to be remembered forever. Overall, this is one of Swift’s best recent songs, and easily the best song off of the “1989” album. I would highly recommend giving it a few listens, because Taylor Swift is never going out of Style.

B. Gelwasser is a wrestling enthusiast, book lover, and recent Boca High graduate. B. also enjoys referencing “The Dresden Files,” reading comics, and sharing memes on all social media.

D E R E B M E M E R N I T S U R D R BAYA B

QUEER QUERY history

Dr. Mart King's Op in Luther enly Gay Adviser K. Mathias

ayard Rustin was an American civil rights leader during the time of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was the chief organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his famous I Had a Dream speech. Little known today for his efforts in the ﬁght for black rights, he was also openly gay.

Along with other factors, this fact limited his career in subtle ways. Rustin rarely acted as spokesperson when it came to public speeches. His part in the movement usually took place as a key adviser to civil rights leaders. His personal life came to the limelight when Rustin was arrested for homosexual activity in 1953, when sodomy was still criminalized. Rustin's sexuality and public record was criticized by fellow pacifists and civil-rights leaders. Rustin was attacked as an "immoral influence" by political opponents, from segregationists to black power activists throughout his career. He was forced to resign from organizations he once held positions in, but his importance in the movement didn’t deter. In 1956, he signed on to advise Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on Gandhian-style tactics. King was organizing the Montgomery Bus Boycott back then. According to Rustin: "… I think it's fair to say that Dr. King's view of non-violent tactics was almost non-existent when the boycott began…" Rustin promoted the philosophy of nonviolence and the practices of nonviolent resistance, which he had observed while working with Gandhi's movement in India. Rustin became a leading strategist of the U.S. Civil Rights Movement from 1955 to 1968. Many black leaders were concerned that Rustin's sexual orientation would hurt support for the civil rights movement. Although Rustin was open about his sexuality, the events had not circulated as open discussion outside of civil rights leadership. For those that are curious about Martin Luther King Jr.’s thoughts on the gay community, Bayard Rustin wrote about this in his 1987 speech: “… It is difﬁcult for me to know what Dr. King felt about gayness except to say that I’m sure he would have been sympathetic and would not have had the prejudicial view. Otherwise he would not have hired me. He never felt it necessary to discuss that

with me. He was under such extraordinary pressure about his own sex life. J. Edgar Hoover was spreading stories, and there were very real efforts to entrap him. I think at a given point he had to reach a decision. My being gay was not a problem for Dr. King, but a problem for the movement…”

Bayard Rustin understood the pressures Dr. King was facing as a leading civil rights leader, and later stepped down to relieve him from added attacks on his personal life. For example, weeks before the Washington March in 1963, Senator Thurmond produced a Federal Bureau of Investigation photograph of Rustin talking to King while King was bathing, to imply that there was a relationship between the two. Both men denied the allegation of an affair, yet opponents harassed them nonetheless. Bayard Rustin came to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s defense however, and wrote further about it in his 1987 essay: “… I don’t want you to think that Dr. King was the only civil rights leader who raised these questions. Although Dr. King had been relieved by my officially leaving, he continued to call on me as Mr. Garrow makes clear in his book, Bearing the Cross, over and over. Now this all took place around 1960; but in 1963 when the question came up whether I should be the director of the March on Washington, I got 100 percent cooperation. On this occasion, it was Roy Wilkins who raised the question. Roy was my friend. He told me he was going into the meeting to object. He made it quite clear that he had absolutely no prejudice toward me or toward homosexuality; but he said: ‘I put the movement first above all things, and I believe it is my moral obligation to go into this meeting and say that with all of your talent, I don’t think you should lead this important march. They are not only going to raise the question of homosexuality. Although I know you are a Quaker and I know you paid a heavy price for your conscientious objection, they are going to call you a draft dodger.’” His political associations with socialism, being anti-war, and gay were all factors that worked against him as a black rights activist in the 1960s. He worked behind the scenes, but was still an integral part of America’s history. After the passage of the civil rights legislation of 1964–65, Rustin focused attention on the economic problems of working-class and

unemployed black Americans, suggesting that the civil-rights movement had left its period of protest and had entered an era of politics. In the 1980s, he later became an outspoken advocate on behalf of gay and lesbian causes. He testified on behalf of New York State's Gay Rights Bill, and in 1986, he gave a speech where he asserted: “… Today, blacks are no longer the litmus paper or the barometer of social change. Blacks are in every segment of society and there are laws that help to protect them from racial discrimination. The new ‘niggers’ are gays.... It is in this sense that gay people are the new barometer for social change.... The question of social change should be framed with the most vulnerable group in mind: gay people. . .” On November 20, 2013, President Barack Obama posthumously awarded Rustin the Presidential Medal of Freedom. In conclusion, it’s fair to say that Bayard Rustin wasn’t given the full recognition he deserved during his lifetime. Intersectional identities within a movement have a habit of being pushed aside, but these people exist. Their identities should be celebrated, and acknowledged in our history books.

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Without Bayard Rustin, the struggle for civil rights would have unfolded much differently in history. The same idea goes for our current LGBTQ movement. Without Marsha P. Johnson or Sylvia Rivera, both transgender women of color who fought in the front lines at the 1969 Stonewall Riots, where would history have ended up? Bayard Rustin represents a voice who, had he the opportunities to live without respectability politics taking a toll on his career, could have been remembered more widely in history. Bayard Rustin, we swear to you: you will be remembered. You will not be silenced, and you actions have shaped our country without a doubt. Rest in power.

K. Mathias is a local South Florida high school student, a self-described hippie, and theatre geek. Mathias is also an activist for social justice, environmental science, and the LGBTQ plus movement. Mathias encourages all to support the initiative to protect our environment.

SouthFloridaGayNews // SFGN.com // 6.3.2015 //

QUEER QUERY prom

T H G I N PROM

S S A P M O C E AT TH

ND O C E S A T GE H T U O Y CE T N A D LGB O T E CHANC

4 3 5

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Dress Code: "Be Your Fabulous Self" 1. Sushi (left) and Shay pose together. 2. JJulia Murphy, Amanda Canete, Lorenzo Lowe, Mariah Rivera, and Ryanmarie Rice are just a few of the smiling faces who were proud to dance the night away. 3. Bonnie Buchanan and Rodrigo Mendez. 4. Many of the adult volunteers who worked hard to bring the night together pose for a group shot. 5. Victor and Patrick stand together for a quick selﬁe with Velvet Lanore. 6. The dance ﬂoor is alive with youth celebrating, many of whom did not have a chance to dress authentically at their own schools, and some of whom were not allowed to attend their school's prom at all. 7. Julia Murphy poses with the prom cake. 8. A group of dazzling prom-goers, many of whom are writers for this issue of the Queer Query, stand proudly together on their big night. soflagaynews // Page 11 • June 3, 2015

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QUEER QUERY terms

Y G O L O N I M TER

Jamie Fowler, Meaghan Iholts, and Jae Kanella Markis

A Guide

GENDERQUEER BASICS Non-Binary: An umbrella term meant for all individuals who don’t fall within the gender binary (man or woman). They may identify as gender fluid, multiple genders, no gender, or any other variant gender, which is not discernible. Genderqueer is an alternative umbrella term, but not all who are non-binary identify as genderqueer.

GENDER BASICS Gender identity: The term that recognizes the unexplainable essence that makes up a person’s gender. Doesn’t always need to relate to gender norms or society unless the individual feels comfortable to do so. Identity includes strongly felt, self-identifying characteristics that make up their place in the world, and how they interact with it. Biological sex: The term that recognizes the chromosomes an individual is born with, and may have the three known categories of male, female, or intersex. An individual cannot decide their chromosomes nor switch them medically yet, but this has no inward bearing on a person’s gender identity. Presentation: The term to refer to someone’s outward expression, unrelated to gender, sexuality, or biological sex. May be feminine, masculine, androgynous, or a mix of all. Presentation usually refers to the way that trans, non-binary, or gender nonconforming people visibly express themselves to the outside world. Take note, however: presentation doesn’t need to match to gender. (Examples: men who decide to wear makeup or dresses, and still comfortably identify as men.) Transgender: A transgender person is someone who does not identify with their birth sex, and receive dysphoria as a result of their outward appearance not matching their inside identity. Many start HRT, or undergo surgery to further their transition into their desired gender. They often wish to wear the clothing of the opposite gender to present as that gender, but not doing so doesn’t mean that their identity is “less real.” (It is important to note that transgender is not a noun, and when referring to someone who is trans, one should always use “a transgender person”, or simply “a trans person”. Never “that transgender”, or “it.” That’s dehumanizing.) HRT: Hormone Replacement Therapy. The medical therapy that many transgender people undergo. This therapy involves taking or injecting various hormones and other medications designed to help feminize or masculinize the body. Taking hormones without the help of a trained endocrinologist is not safe or recommended. Transition: The mental and physical changes that a transgender person goes through over the course of many years while becoming their desired gender. A person’s transition is often counted by months on HRT, but for some, transitioning can be a social occurrence. Many begin several months or even years before starting HRT as they adjust themselves, and make efforts to change their appearance and/or attitude. Many trans people will document their transition with photographs or videos, either to show to other members of the community or to reflect on their own progress.

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Agender: The gender, which recognizes no identifiable gender for the individual, and/or a lack of one as their gender. May present femininely, masculinely, or androgynously.

Aromantic: People who lack romantic attraction, but may or may not still experience sexual attraction. Those who don’t find the need or instinct to be in a romantic relationship, and are totally satisfied with platonic and/or sexual ones. Queer: A reclaimed slur in the LGBTQ community, and an umbrella term to refer to all those who fall under the spectrum of non-heteronormative sexuality, gender, and expression. Not all who are LGBTQ wish to use this label, because in many southern states, the slur is still used to dehumanize people within our community. For those who do use it, use it respectively and do not use it for those who decline on using the label.

Femme: People who tend to have a feminine aesthetic, regardless of gender or sexuality. Not necessarily trans or genderqueer, but could identify that way. This includes cisgender or trans males who embrace femininity, lesbians who express themselves NOTE: Bigender - People who may identify wholly femininely(As opposed to butch lesbians), as one gender for a period of time, while later The definitions of gay or bisexual males(Who may embrace identify as another separate gender on another these labels are everthe variant presentation), and all those day, month, or year. Doesn’t always have to be changing, and our definitions with a feminine presentation. a binary gender. Gender fluid: Individuals who feel that their gender fluctuates, and may not always be pinned down as a specific one.

may or may not always reﬂect Lipstick lesbian: Lesbians the identities of people who have SEXUALITY BASICS or bisexuals who exhibit a greater alternative meanings, labels, or explanations. We apologize amount of feminine gender qualities Sexual attraction: Having a desire if any of our deﬁnitions are and attributes. to engage in sexual acts with another human misinterpreted, or not being. The asexual community refers to nonChapstick lesbian: Lesbians or comprehensive to the asexuals as allosexuals, and many allosexuals bisexual women who exhibit a greater fullest understanding of may or may not be aromantic. Sexual attraction amount of androgynous or masculine the terminology.

may not always align to one’s romantic attraction.

Romantic attraction: Having a desire to engage in a romantic relationship with a certain individual, and doesn’t always include sexual aspects. (Such as: Dating, marriage.) This doesn’t always apply to asexuals, and may apply to anyone who isn’t aromantic. (Examples: a man who is biromantic, but not bisexual. A woman who is bi-romantic, but strictly homosexual. A woman who is hetero-romantic, but bisexual.) Sensual attraction: Having a desire to engage in sensual acts with a certain individual, but may or may not include romantic or sexual undertones. (Examples: cuddling, hugging, and hand holding.) Asexual: Individuals who lack sexual attraction to people specifically. The spectrum includes demisexual people, gray asexuals, and asexuals who may or may not have romantic attraction for other people. Asexuality does not exclude those who experience arousal, or masturbate. For more information, check out www.asexuality.org. Sex positive asexuals: Asexual people who are willing to have sex, whether out of curiosity, indifference, or for the satisfaction of their partners. Sex repulsed asexuals: Asexual people who want nothing to do with sex, and are repulsed by the thought of themselves having a sexual relationship with another human being.

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traits, but aren’t fully presenting masculine or butch as a default.

Bisexual: People who have a romantic and/or sexual attraction towards two or more gender identities. Pansexual: People who have a romantic and/or sexual attraction to individuals, regardless of gender. Gender is not a factor for pansexual people. Whether people identify as bisexual or pansexual is a personal decision, and to regard either as “less real” or a “on the fence” about being strictly gay is erasure. The difference between bisexual and pansexual is that bisexual could include more than two genders, but does not include all. (Examples: a bisexual, genderqueer person interested in men and non-binary folk, but not women. A bisexual man interested in women and men, but not non-binary people.) For more information, check out Sam Killerman’s It’s Pronounced Metrosexual website, Janet Mock, Judith Butler’s books on gender theory, Julie Vu’s YouTube channel PrincessJoules, and Ashley Mardell’s ABC’s of LGBT series on YouTube.

Jamie Fowler is a cosplayer, manga reader, and upcoming high school senior. She has a desire to give back to the LGBTQ plus community, and advocates for wider queer awareness. She participates in community education along with her co-writers, Meaghan Iholts and Jae Kanella Markis.