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FIRST DO NO HARM–INCLUDING TO YOURSELF
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When we honor ourselves, we also honor those who have nurtured and supported us along the way.
When you choose to focus on all that you are, instead of all that you are not, with kindness and curiosity, you plant seeds of presence, compassion, and acceptance.
When you look at a tree, you can see both its imperfections and its beauty. Maybe it has too many branches on one side, or is bare and straggly in places, but it’s perfectly itself. You can see what’s beautiful in its imperfections.
You are also perfectly imperfect.
The ocean and its mix of calmness and wildness is perfectly imperfect. A child’s toothy smile is perfectly imperfect. The moon with its craters and bumps is perfectly imperfect. Every human body is perfectly imperfect. And so is every mind.
Perfectly imperfect makes you unique. In your uniqueness, lies your strength.
Below are some perspectives on mistakes and the role of selfcompassion that particularly resonated with the next generation of physicians. These perspectives were shared anonymously by attending physicians—specifically with the intent to support physicians in training.
“I have learned that beating myself up doesn't get me the results I thought it did. I used to believe that if I made a mistake, beating myself up would prevent another error. Now I know all it creates is more pain and no meaningful action! I call this 'instrumental self compassion.' I will be kind to myself because it frees up my energy to help others.”
“Compassion is at the core of my mission and vision in all that I do. I realize that offering to others without first to myself creates an unsustainable practice. Granting ease, peace and understanding for all that I do, say, think, feel, allows me to extend that more freely to others. Seeing and honoring our common humanity, remembering that includes me!”
“The best thing I did for myself is change my self-talk from doubt and negativity to confident and hopeful. Simply put, admit mistakes and learn things you don't know. Be kind to yourself. You are with the person (yourself) life long. Others come and go.”
“All great physicians stand tall on the graves of the people who died because of them.
Share the stories, learn from your mistakes, & honor the ones you lost by never repeating the same mistakes twice.”
Self-compassion is a kind and friendly presence in the face of what’s difficult. It allows us to be with both the good and the difficult. It allows us to approach challenges in medicine by turning toward them, not away from it. When we approach these challenging moments mindfully, with kindness and curiosity, we can more effectively choose an effective response.
My wish for all of my colleagues is to be kind to yourselves.
Give yourselves the compassion that you need. Learn to accept yourself as you are. Forgive yourself. Be strong, patient, and curious. This is key to doing no harm to yourself--and to others.
Dr. Jessie Mahoney is a Board-Certified Pediatrician, a certified life coach for physicians, and a yoga instructor. She is the Chair of the SFMMS Physician Wellness Task Force. She practiced Pediatrics and was a Physician Wellness leader at Kaiser Permanente for 17 years.
