STAFF PROFILE: GEOFF “FREE” GARY

Geoff “Free” Gary goes deep in answering questions about his high school days, obstacles, and epiphanies in this staff profile. Read on to get to know Free and what makes him the friend and colleague he is today.

Geoff “Free” Gary joined UHS in 2019 as associate director of admissions. He came to us from the admissions and athletics offices at Drew School. His career has included being an English teacher, student activities director, advisor, and varsity boys’ basketball, track and field, and varsity girls’ tennis coach. Free received a BA in Psychology from the University of Maine, Orono, and is currently studying Private School Leadership at Columbia University’s Teachers College. Prior to entering independent schools, he recorded multiple albums and toured throughout the U.S. and Europe as a hip-hop artist, “Mr Free.” We caught up with Free recently to learn more about what his high school years were like and what makes him the friend and colleague he is today.

Where did you grow up and how does that impact your professional career?

I grew up in a small town in upstate New York, called Horseheads. As one of 10 or so African American students in a school of over 1,200, I’ve always had a place in my heart for the challenges faced by minority students in the classroom. This sentiment has proven to be my guiding star as I’ve entered into a career in education. My heart has always been with students who feel “othered” for one reason or another, and I’ve strived to provide spaces where they feel comfortable being themselves. Although I understand why, it seems odd to me that we (both students and adults) spend years of our lives together, yet are hesitant to be who we truly are, at times.

Share your biggest epiphany: the moments of lifedefining change that shaped you into the person you are today.

I’d have to say my parents’ divorce proved to be indirectly responsible for the greatest leap I made in my life.At the time, we were God-fearing Pentecostals who went to church a minimum of three times a week.The church was everything to me. My grandfather was a preacher, and my mom was an evangelist. Many who knew me then swore I’d become a preacher someday. However, when my folks separated, the church condemned my mother for being a preacher’s kid and going against a promise she (and my father) made to God. This led her to take the daunting step of walking away from the church but seeking other ways to exercise her faith. Not long after, she began to read a good deal of Eastern thought and New Age philosophy books that she passed my way when she finished.At the age of 15, 16, years old, I came to know a broader view of spirituality than what I grew up on.As a result, I began to get glimpses of what it felt like to be centered and how to live with intention as my guide, as opposed to being reactionary. That completely shifted the way I saw, and continue to see, the world around me and my place in it.Where I once felt like a victim of circumstance, I now see my surroundings as a reflection of the decisions I’ve made and continue to make.With that in mind, I’m grateful that my path has guided me to UHS! Shameless plug: It is much easier to accept that principle when I look out at the community surrounding me and see highly motivated students and adults at every turn.

Describe your biggest obstacle in life so far and how you mastered it.

My sophomore year in high school was, hands down, the worst year of my life. It began with a feeling of invincibility, as I was the starting quarterback on the JV football team, and we were undefeated four games in.Week 5, I got moved up to varsity and was forced to play on the scout team offensive line.This meant I lined up across from our starting defensive tackle, a senior, who was the craziest guy in our school.We’d bash heads for 10–15 plays in a row, three practices a week. All of this so I could end up riding the bench come game day. Needless to say, this was a far cry from days as a starting quarterback.A few weeks later, my father and I got into our worst disagreement in all my years, the results of which only furthered my downward spiral.

And if that wasn’t enough, it wasn’t long before we studied slavery in American history. I’m not sure I can put words to how multifaceted the challenges were that arose during that unit. I remember my heart beating out of my chest as the topic came up. Suddenly, I was the elephant in the room. Surrounded by all White classmates who were probably just living another day in history class, it felt like every single one of them was staring at me for the entirety of the unit.The sense of inferiority that came from hearing how my ancestors were dehumanized by theirs gave rise to questions I had not confronted in that depth before. Of course I had known about slavery for as long as I can remember, but studying it and having extensive conversations about the atrocities that took place was an absolutely humiliating experience.An added layer to this was that I am biracial, with a Black father and a White mother.At that time, my

13/14-year-old mind questioned if my White grandparents even loved me because I was Black. A highly dramatic conclusion, drawn with no experiential basis whatsoever, but I share that to illustrate how far gone my mind was, and how the impact of that topic led to me questioning the very roots from which I came.

With all of that swirling through me, I eventually reached my tipping point, where depression set in. I remember walking the halls with my hoodie on, not talking to anyone for days on end. I sat in classes and refused to participate. There was a darkness that overcame my being and brought about an attitude of carelessness and withdrawal. To that end, my third-quarter report card showed a 45% OVERALL average. This was followed up by 28% in the fourth marking period. I’d given up. But, in an ironic twist of fate, my father ended up providing the inspiration that pulled me out of the hole I was in. He planted seeds of hope by laying out a plan that would eventually serve as the blueprint to my resurrection. He pointed out that all of the classes I failed could be taken over the following year. If I finished the last two years strong, colleges would recognize that something happened that sophomore year that threw me off— essentially showing them I was actually a good student. I bought in, used those words as a rallying point for myself, and returned to school as a much more positive junior, who was also starting to read the above-mentioned books, and the tides turned, so much so that I ended up receiving an academic-based scholarship to attend the University of Maine.

As I reflected on that year, I never could really place where that darkness stemmed from. It was only as an adult that I gained some perspective and had a few inclinations as to the root of the trouble. But, oddly enough, the longer I’ve been in education, the more I’ve seen many students experience their own version of the “sophomore slump.” Thankfully, mine ended happily and served as a great point of reference as I empathize with students who are struggling with dynamics they may not even be able to name.

Do you remember your first day of high school? Tell us about it.

I actually have no recollection whatsoever. The only thing I remember from early that year was that a group of senior volleyball players realized who my older brother was, and they started calling me “Little Gary.” Being seen and recognized by them gave me all the confidence in the world.

What do you hope students at UHS learn from you?

I hope students learn to bring a “glass half full” approach to their lives. I opened up here, as well as in my speech earlier this year at convocation, to show students that, yes, I walk our halls with positivity and do what I can to be as consistently upbeat as possible, but there are certainly dark days when I don’t feel as vibrant as I wish to be. There have also been plenty of hardships in my past. A powerful shift in mindset occurred within me when I came to understand that any negative cycle I experienced was just that: a cycle, something that will inevitably shift, so long as I stay the course and keep living according to the intentions I project. Hopefully, modeling vulnerability will create spaces and confidence, within our community, for our students to open up and share their truths with each other, so we can continue to support each other and uplift each other in purposeful ways. n